Hi lovelies,

Bit of a frustrating few weeks. The last couple of weeks I've been ill with an annoyingly persistent bug. Hasn't stopped me working, but it has slowed my workrate waaaaaay down.. Plus suddenly broken tablet pen etc etc - nothing overly dramatic but it is a b*gger when it happens !

So I'm rejigging my trello. Please don't panic if your piece has dropped back into the queue :) I'm just being realistic about what I'm likely to be most productive at until this stoopid bug shifts.

As always, you can check in on my Trello to see what I'm working on and how my progress is going right here : https://trello.com/b/M0ocdPu8/urban.....ll-commissions

Back soon !

Hey lovelies. I'm at CFZ this weekend and doing Rapidsketches in the Den. I'm not open for commissions Im afraid - I still have a queue to work through and that comes first :) But come say Hi !

Hi all

PA Pangolin here with a heads up that Foxydragon is posting more regularly on her Urbanvixen account on here.

This is purely because she is now using Urbanvixen as her TF account and will be using this one for other things - she just has been completing mostly TF at the moment.

Foxydragon isn't dead.

Hope you're all well.

PA Pangolin

Greetings from the P.A. Pangolin :D

Here’s the deal. When Urban Vixen gets super busy with all your art commissions, she gets rubbish at admin… So, I’m going to be helping out now and then to give her less to worry about.

In terms of general updates: everything is going well, but thanks to a few learning curves with sculpting she’s a bit snowed under keeping up with the workload. She’s closed for commissions for the foreseeable future, except for her amazing Patrons. HOWEVER, she specifically wants you to know that she loves all you furry butts and will be uploading here as she gets through the backlog.

Real apologies to those who have been expecting emails: as the P.A. Pangolin I will see to it you get them eventually, but we thank you for your patience in the meantime.

Hi lovelies,

Quick Public Service Announcement that all pre-CFZ commission orders will be available for pickup at Confuzzled. I'm table 7 in the Dealers Den. I'll send y'all more personal emails and a Dealers Den map before the Con, but right now I'm super-busy making sure this is so XD

See (some of you) sooooooooon :D

Woop !

I've been arting HARD. It's been great to see some of you on the streams. My Streaming Schedule is every Monday from 8pm BST (check the Channel description on my Picarto page for a solid update on time). The Monday streams are my 'open' streams, so come hang out :)

This Saturday, I'll also be hanging out, doodling with and for Patrons on my Patrons-Only livestream. If you want to get in on that action, and come chill, you can join the channel for just $1 per month on my Patreon : https://www.patreon.com/urbanvixen

I haven't been uploading much, but rest assured there's a buttload of stuff nearing completion and I'm looking forward to sharing it soon as :)

In other news, AHGAD THE POLLEN ITSEATINGMYFACE *sniffles*

*ahem*

Catcha soon, good health and pollen-dodging superpowers to you all !

I did ! But it was close... because, seriously, the HEAT. I know some of you will be used to 28 degrees centigrade at 7pm in the evening, but I'm a scraggly British fox dammit.. I'm used to muddy puddles and occasional hail when it was supposed to be 20 degrees.

Going to a Spanish convention was interesting. A real eye-opener since I've never been to Spain before. I assumed it would be fairly standard for 'the continent', since I've spent plenty of time of France, Germany and Italy.... I was so, so wrong.

Still, met some fab furs and ended up finding myself grouping up with the other Brits (yay), the Norwegians (gawd bless em), the Swiss (well, that one Swiss!) and ... strangely enough... the Barcelonan furs, whose English is pretty damn perfect despite the fact that it's not their second language, but more like their third or fourth !

But yeah... I've spent more hours working artin I have sleepin' ! So it's time to get in my den.. and there'll be a sketchflood tomorrow :) Nanite!

Hey all,

I got so carried away making sure both Patreon and Livestream started in time, that I didn't post up here ! Whatever next...

Still, we're having fun and I'll be going as late as I can :) Pop by on Picarto !

My Patreon is now live ! Come have a look over here

The title says it all :) I'll be Livestreaming on Picarto tonight from 10pm BST // 5pm EDT // 2pm PDT.... and I never fully appreciated what a headache daylight savings time is until this XD

My Patreon will launch shortly after, so the early arrivers and I can count it down together.

I've had some brilliant feedback on my Patreon from followers on several different accounts. So, as I count down to launch, click here for a preview of my Patreon if you wanted to take a lookie.

Even now, if you have any feedback or suggestions on my Patreon, I'd love to hear them and please comment.

In the meantime, this fox needs some sleep ! I hope to see you later

Hey y'all,

So, with less than a week to go, I've drawn up my intended rewards, and I'd be really interested to see what you all think. Most importantly, I want to know what you'd want from the Patreon of an artist like me :) I'd be really grateful if you could take a peek, and give me any feedback you can think of.

If I make changes based on feedback, I'll put up another Preview of them before my Patreon goes Live on the 14th :)

Thanks in advance, you lovelies !

I'll be streaming over on Picarto for the Launch on 14th April at 5pm EST, 10pm BST or 2pm PDT.
More details on my journal here
**********************************

Quick info :

'Values' for Fox Tokens will be explicit on my 'About' page, but for now I'll put them here. Hopefully this will all make sense but if it doesn't, that's ace feedback !

Fox Tokens :

2 Fox Tokens = Conbadge.
3 Fox Tokens = Lineart.
5 Fox Tokens = Shaded lineart or graphite, or a Gourmet Conbadge.
6 Fox Tokens = Shaded colour.
8 Fox Tokens = Full Colour Image
15 Fox Tokens = Full paint / render with background

NSFW = +1 Fox Token
Extreme details (e.g. many many tentacles) = +1 Fox Token
Extra characters - just ask :)

Rapidsketch - This is an exercise I made up for myself, to keep my sketching skills sharp and teach me not to procrastinate. I pick a Thing, and I have to draw it within 10 minutes. The Rapidsketch Raffle will allow the winner to decide what my weekly Rapidsketch will be - any number of characters, wierd anime, obscure kinks and it'll be a 10 minute sketch. (If I'm having a week where I want to do multiple rapidsketches, there'll be multiple raffles!)

Also, any Launch Party rewards will be totally seperate from all this :)

**********************

REWARDS

Just visiting - $1 per month
For this amount, you'll have access to my Patron-Only Livestream sessions, some nawty things I'll share with Patrons Only, and know that you're helping make the world a wierder/wilder/more wonderful place by helping me produce art and comics. Thank you !


Visitor ++ - $3 per month
For $3, you'll have access to my Patron-Only Livestream Sessions, Patron-Only content and all of the TF Clinic sequences, plus an entry into my RapidSketch raffle every week.

You also gain a vote in the TF Clinic, when the Clinic is back up and running.

This support means I can dedicate more time to my projects and produce more Patron-Only art and regular comics for you all. Thank you for your support !

Regular Visitor (Rapidsketch Raffle) $5 per month (Limit : 100)
Welcome ! For this amount, you'll be entered into the Rapidsketch Raffle every week, and recieve a Fox Token every 2 months to trade in for custom art.

You'll also get everything the Visitor Pledges do.


Season Pass (Raffle +1 Fox Token for custom art) - $10 per month (Limit : 50)

Great to see you so often. For this amount, you'll recieve 1 Fox Token every month, to trade in for custom art.

You'll be entered into the Rapidsketch raffle every week and get access to my Patron-Only Livestreams and HD art.

You'll also get access to my tutorials and how-tos for Sculpting and TF, as soon as we reach that Goal.


"Cuddles" Season Pass (Raffle, +2 special fox tokens) $20 per month (Limit : 5)
This one's a limited edition especially for cuddly little balls of fluff.

You'll recieve 2 Fox Tokens every month to trade in for custom art, but gain the special bonus of being able to have a grown up in the picture with you for no extra tokens.

*No XXX behaviour or dirty diaper play I'm afraid.

"TF Clinic" Season Pass (Raffle +2.5 Fox Tokens +more) - $25 per month (Limit : 20)

As well as the bonuses from earlier tiers, you'll be invited to create a character to become part of the staff at the TF Clinic when it reopens later this year.

You'll recieve 2.5 Fox Tokens each month* to trade in for custom art.

*No foxes are harmed in the making of 'half' fox tokens. How do they do it ? We don't know. Foxes are sneaky.

"Perfectly Normal" Season Pass (Raffle+ 2.5 Fox Tokens) - $25 per month

You'll recieve 2.5 Fox Tokens each month* to trade in for custom art.

As well as this and the bonuses from previous tiers, you'll recieve a 5% discount on any art you commission from me.

*No foxes are harmed in the making of 'half' fox tokens. How do they do it ? We don't know. Foxes are sneaky.

The Connoisseur (Raffle, Fox Tokens + unique ) - $50 per month (Limit : 5)

Limited Slots : You'll recieve 4 Fox Tokens a month, as well as all the Raffle Entries, Patron Only Art, Tutorials and the like that I'll be posting.

Unique to this tier, if you like, you can use your Fox Tokens to commission a 100% custom fully painted 4-5inch sculpture, either SFW or NSFW.

Once the TF Clinic is running again, you can also submit 1 candidate each year who will be admitted to the TF Clinic, picking their name, gender, demeanor, and aspiration animal. You can also submit prompts for their physical appearance and history.

Woo !

Alrighty. Let's see if I can do timezone maths...

The Launch Party will start over on Picarto at 5pm EST, 10pm BST or 2pm PDT.

I will be livestreaming, doodling and doing Q&As. If the watchers will it, I'll even turn my webcam on and sculpt something for y'all.

My Patreon will go live 5 minutes later So we can count down together.

This means it'll be a late night for me, but I'll be slugging back the caffeine (and maybe a stronger drink or two, which I'll put to the Watchers to vote on!) so I can hang out with you folks on the other side of the pond

You can link to my Picarto here : https://picarto.tv/urbanvixen

The Launch Party

As a free gift, the first 3 subscribers to my Patreon will be able to submit something for me to draw live on-stream during the launch party. I may do more than just the first 3, but we'll see how the night goes.

I've never done live streaming from the very first stage of a piece before, so you'll have the pleasure of being my first XD

In between drawing (i.e. when I drink my precious tea!) I'll do "Ask Me Anything" style Q&As.

We'll carry on until I'm falling asleep, or you all do ;)

My Patreon - Rewards, Goals etc

1. Fox Tokens

The biggest benefit of Patreon is allowing an artist like me to be a little bit more secure in their income, so that I can dedicate time to creating things rather than scooting off to work as a temp to meet the bills each month. Doing Conventions means a nice chunk at once, but only occasionally, whilst Patreon means a little but more regularly.

So I thought, why not give the same benefit to my Patrons ?

Instead of saving up, or having to spend a chunk to buy a commission, you can subscribe to my Patreon and - each month when your subscription goes through – you'll earn "Fox Tokens". (Different tiers get a different amount of Tokens each month). You can save these little foxes up and 'cash them in' whenever you like, to buy custom commissioned art from me.

All of my different 'grades' of art will have assigned Fox Token amounts. If I ever need to raise my prices, existing Patrons will be given 'bonus' fox tokens, so you never have to worry about tokens devaluing while you save up for something big.

2. Weekly Rapidsketch Raffle

Rapidsketch is a drawing exercise I made up for myself, years ago, and still do to keep my quick-sketch skills on form. I pick a Thing, and I have to draw it within 10 minutes.

My Patrons of all tiers over $2 will be entered into a raffle at least once a week to decide what my rapidsketch will be. It can be anything - any number of characters, wierd anime, obscure fetishes - and it'll be a 10 minute sketch of your idea. (If I'm having a week where I want to do multiple rapidsketches, there'll be multiple raffles!)

3. Other Little Rewards

There are also a few unique rewards at different tiers, such as being invited to create a character to become part of the regular staff at the TF Clinic when it reopens. Once the Goals amounts are reached for them, there'll also be access to bonus comic pages, little art treats for my Patrons and How-I-Do-Dis tutorials from my own work.

Goals

I'm still tweaking my goals, but here are a few things on the list :
- A Patrons-Only Livestream once a month.
- TF Clinic returns ! (This one's going to happen anyway, but with your help it can happen sooner)
- TF Clinic Comics & Sequences (Page 1 to debut during the Launch Party)
- Releasing Tutorials and some of my super-secrit behind the scenes workings, including the 'anatomy dissasembly' pages I create for my sculptures.

Hope to see you there :)

I'll be announcing more bits and things, as well as confirmed Goals and a Preview of the Tiers, regularly over the next week up to the date.

Until then, all the best, and good health to you all,

Urbanvixen

Hey all,

If you missed it, the 'What happened and why I vanished' journal is here :)

I'm back from Just Fur The Weekend. It was crazy, and brilliant. Wierdest of all, the Con Hotel turned out to be just 15 minutes away from my home ! It was a small Con (200-300 people) but a blast, with loads of great folks. I even managed to catch a couple of evening workshops, and the 'Den mom' ( stefi_heartlilly) took great care of us. Probably the most well-run Con I've ever been to, with attention to detail all round from a seriously dedicated team. Take a look at it if you're UK based :)

Gushing done, onto plans for the future !

My 'Optimum Goal' on returning to Artz was to open up on FA about a week before the Con. But I had a couple of small crisises in home life which demanded time, so I only made my 'secondary goal' of being ready to take commissions again by JFTW.

This was still a big deal for me, as a personal and returning-to-work professional goal, to get my fuzzy face out there again as an artist :) But it does mean that I didn't get the chance to open up for commissions from you wonderful people who have been so supportive on my return to FA.

HOWEVER

I managed it :) I did eet ! I am well, I am back, and I even cracked out (with some computer problems, eek!) 3 Conbadges at the Con. So, I'm ready.

Today I'm having a Big Sorting Day. No arts, just admin. And I'm going to pin down dates and deadlines so I can announce them. This will include giving a couple of weeks' warning for when my Patreon will be opening, and dates for taking commissions on FA.

I am pretty sure I've caught the Conflu XD But it doesn't feel like it's going to be too bad. So, I should be posting lots of info etc tomorrah.

EDIT : Who thought 3 months of frantic work would have resulted in so much CHAOS ?! XD Turned out today needs to be an organisation day too, so announcements will be Weds :)

I love you all and can't thank you enough for the outpouring of love and support that has made coming back so bloody awesome :) I'll try to make this the last ramblepost for a while, as I'll have actual things to announce from here on. But since that means I'll have to be more succinct on those, let me say again...

You are all friggin awesome.

I'm so glad to be back.

Much love, and good health, to all of you.

****************************************

As always, you can check out my current queue and what I'm working on on my Trello.

Hey all,

Lost a few days to a nasty flu but I'm okay :) I'm working through a couple of biiiiiiiiig detail sequences that were outstanding. They're almost there, so I'll be back to uploading soon.

I'm still alive, still about, more art soon :)

(If you're ever curious about what I'm working on, I have a Trello here : Link. At the moment, it's just shows progress through the queue and what stage work is at, but in the future I'll post WIPs on the cards.)

Hey all,

UPDATE : You can now track the progress of various works and check my queue on my Trello, here.

So with a few more weeks down and finding myself sustainably doing the art I love to do, my mind keeps turning to Patreon.

This won't be a few weeks yet. I'm determined to pace myself, and I still have a few old commissions to finish off. I can't thank those who ordered commissions from me enough for being so patient and understanding about the illness, so I'll be getting all of those pieces done to my satisfaction (and theirs!) before moving forward.

But I'd love your input on what I'm considering for my Patreon Launch.

Ongoing, my 'rewards' for Patreon are going to feature 'fox tokens' in addition to little rewards you get with each tier. Fox Tokens can be traded in for custom artwork, and you get a different number depending on how much you donate each month. (E.g. 2 Fox Tokens = A lineart, 6 Fox Tokens = Shaded Color / Speedpaint and so on). It's just a way for me to have a stable income, so I can commit more and more time to my artwork, whilst allowing my supporters to get commissions over time.

But I want to launch with a bang :) I'm hella new to Livestreaming, but I'm enjoying it, and I think it's a great opportunity to properly share my return with you all, my supporters, the people who made 'Coming Back' a big deal to me.

So, here are some of the ideas I've had. Like them ? Think they need adjusting ? Got an idea of your own ? Please comment away :)


[*] Patreon Launch Day Livestream – Starting a short while before the Patreon launches, and continuing for a few hours after, I'll be livestreaming on Picarto.

[*] First Supporter Livestream Sketches – I've never before taken start-to-finish commissions over Live-stream, but to the first 3 supporters on Patreon I will livestream a custom sketch. I will probably continue to sketch for subsequent supporters, but the guaranteed slots will be a limited first-come-first-serve.

[*] Since the transformations at the TF Clinic were a big turning point for me, stepping out of idle doodling into full detail sequences, I feel like they should be a part of this. So, how about the first page of a unique launch-day patrons-only comic, featuring Bree's first post-transformation sexual encounter with a human ?



Please comment away. Even if I feel I can't follow your suggestion for whatever reason, it's great to hear what you all would like to see on my Launch.

Thanks all

Hi all,

So, it's been a week since my "Alive" post, which is the deadline I set myself for posting this journal up, knowing that otherwise I'd try to rewrite it a half-million times.

I've missed you guys.

The short version ? Things went suddenly further south in 2016, and I got whisked into surgery. It's been a year and half since then. The recovery was hard, and complicated over and over again, but now.... now I'm well. Well enough to look back at the last 5 years and be amazed at how incredibly resilient hoomans are as a species. I look back now, with the benefit of being able to see how ill I was, and I'm gobsmacked at how crazily optimistic I was, how determined to survive, to get better, to even be an artist. We hoomans don't give up easy, and at the worst of times, we do whatever mental gymnastics we need to to convince us to keep on going.

I kept going. And now I'm well. And I've missed you guys. There's an artflood impending.

Again, if you're expecting work from me and *haven't* heard from me, please please drop me a Note. There are TWO people I haven't been able to get hold of, and I'd very much like to pop you an email, discuss your commission, and see if I can make it up to you. Please get in contact.

The longer version

This bit contains a lot of real-life details. If you just want to know what's happening with the TF Clinic etc, skip to the next header :)

If you've been following me for a while, you probably remember that there have been a lot of "I'm ill" then "yay, I'm well now" posts over the last 5 years. From where I'm standing now, I look at those posts and I'm amazed that I honestly ever thought I was well during that period. Honestly, I didn't know what well was anymore. I just hoped that every improvement was the Big One.

What I had was an autoimmune disorder – Graves Disease. It turns out that autoimmune disorders have a pretty wide range in severity, and that turned out to be half the problem. I was sent to a half dozen clinics intended for people with less debilitating conditions than mine. I'd spend 6 months in one, being told to 'bear with' the treatment, before being shuttled off to the next. They changed my medication over and over, which half the time made me feel great as the dosages overlapped then had me crashing down hard after a couple of months.

Eventually, I was told : “There's probably no cure for you. You may have to accept that this is your life now.”

And I thought, “No.”

Just no.

In that moment, I knew with an absolutely unemotional clarity, as simple as a fact, that I wouldn't live like this. One way or another. I would keep fighting or I would give up completely and take my own life.

So, I went with fighting.

My parents helped out. We got together the money, and I went to a private specialist.

Four months later, I was in surgery.

My partner has prodded me to post this photo, though I don't normally share my squishy human self on FA. He feels it's important, that it captures the moment, that I'll be glad to have shared it later. He's often spot-on about these things, so....

[WARNING : Photo of my human self. Don't click unless you don't mind squishy pink hoomans]

Morphine Me...
I got cut...

The months that followed were agony. I had caught a nasty bug in the hospital, then after that it was migraine after migraine. My body couldn't cope with the changes, and I spent months with different parts of me taking turns to complain. After that, my immune system, compromised by the drugs and isolation, had to face the little colds and flus of the last 5 years... all at once.

But gradually, slowly, things got better.

My muscles had atrophied, but with physiotherapy for the worst and determination for the rest, I began to win back my strength.

And now, I'm alive.

I'm alive, and I'm back.

I wrote some journals, shortly after my surgery, trying to make a note of how I had truly felt, before it faded in my mind. I was going to share some of them, but I've decided that's not for this journal. They're a bit horrifying, in their way. In them, for example, I talk about how I had to focus 100% of my attention just to raise a cup of tea to my lips. I talk about how I had to 'budget' emotions – because feeling emotions (even happiness) took energy, energy which I also needed to eat food, go to the toilet, things like that. I talk about how in order to have a conversation with someone, I had to let my arms and legs go slack, not having the reserves to both think, talk, breath and sit up all at once. I was in constant, constant pain.

And these were things I just took for granted. They'd been that way for so long, I hadn't even realized they weren't normal.

And the horrifying, wonderful thing is, during that period ? I honestly kept trying to get back to arting. I kept telling myself I was lazy, or depressed, that I could do it if I just *tried* a little harder. I don't judge myself for that. It was what kept me going – the delusion that I was getting better, the refusal to give up, is part of the wonderful crazy that keeps hoomans ticking.

So what makes this time different ?

I wasn't sure either, so in May 2017 I determined to get back to artwork. The long months of re-training my hand, the ongoing recurrent illnesses, all of it took its toll. I held a part-time day job for a while, lost it, got kicked in the metaphorical balls by depression long deferred from the illness, got up again....

Somewhere along the way, something, suddenly, woke up.

About October, I stopped having a fever/flu every 2 weeks.

About November, I was drawing (even just a little) every day.

About December, I realized that my hand no longer hurt when I held a pencil.

I experienced, for the first time in 6 years, that wonderful space an artist can fall into where I fell in love with a piece and just kept going... and going... and going.... without having to fall over, rest, shiver, or shake.

Come Christmas 2017, I decided to give it a shot – I set a deadline. The ultimate test – if I could manage the stress of working to a deadline, I could be back. If I could finish a certain amount of pieces and be ready to return, I should. If I missed the deadline, it was okay, but it was something I'd have to face.

The deadline was February 2018.

Well, hi :)

So what now ? What about the TF Clinic ? Patreon ?

I've decided to do one thing at a time. I want to get the Clinic up and running, not only 'back up' but actually running the way I wanted to run it back when I was far, far more ill than I realized. But doing everything at once is a recipe for disaster. I want to test my limits, find out how much I can do, and do it only once I know that :)

I have a part-time job at the moment. I'm a Life Model ! I love it, far more than I ever thought I would. It's casual work, with unpredictable hours, but it makes a little food money and I spend my 'paid' days hanging out in Art Colleges, talking with art teachers, soaking up 'art' like a sponge and, the moment I get home, I squeeze.

I've decided that this year, 2018, is the year I'm going to dedicate to trying to make this 'being an artist' thing work. I'm going to throw my all at it. So expect to see some formulation of the TF Clinic later in the year, but if it has to take longer to do it right, I'm afraid it will. But it's not dead, that I can promise.

'Convention Season' in Europe is mostly March to May, so for now I'm focusing on preparing for that. But I do want to get a Patreon up and running again, and I have plenty of ideas for rewards. Again though, it depends on what I manage over the next two months. If I'm certain it's doable, you all will be the first to know :)

On that note, conventions I'm attending (yup, I'm serious about throwing myself into the art thing this year :) )

- March : JFTW (Bristol, England)
- April : Furrnion (Madrid, Spain)
- May : Confuzzled 2018 (Birmingham, England)

Are you open for Commissions ?

Not at the moment. I still have a few more 'old' commissions to finish before I'll take on more, and with JFTW a month away, I might only start taking commissions again then. If my desk clears before that though, I'll definitely post on FA.


Anything new ?

I've started sculpting, so expect to see some of that turning up on my page, and as Patreon rewards-as-and-when. It started out because I wanted an 'art break' – something arty to do when my eyes needed a rest from drawing, and I fell in love.If you'd like to see what I'm up to, here's a wee look at a work-in-progress.

I'll be offering custom sculpts at Conventions in very limited slots when I'm open again, so pop by early if you'd like to snag one.

Anything else ?

Thank you, you wonderful, crazy, bouncy, furry/scaly/fuzzy/feathery/morphing people. The Notes of concern, the comments of encouragement, I have missed you all. I can't wait to share more art with you.

I'm sorry for going away.

Thanks for being here when I got back :3


~ Dat foxydragon / Urbanvixen / 'Kim'

Update post coming. Watch this space.

If you've been expecting a piece from me, and haven't heard from me already, please please drop me a Note or Email. If you've been expecting to and haven't heard from me, it means something's gone wrong when I've tried to contact you and I'd really appreciate it if you could poke me.

If you've heard from me already and are just waiting your piece, it's on the way *very* shortly :) Thank you for bearing with me.

To all the other lovely people out there, I'm alive. Thank you for you all your well wishes and concern. It meant a lot :)

Thanks all

It felt like time to move the "Good News and Explanations" journal off my front page.

If you've just arrived and you're thinking "You're back ! What happened ?" there's a journal here for that.

I'll try to keep this updated daily(ish) with what I'm working on. But I'll do it through Editing it, so as not to spam Watchers with updates ;) Been caught up in multiple sequences, so I haven't been posting much recently, but that'll change soon.

Working on Today - Thurs

J&E
Sam

Hey all,

Good news :

I've been looking forward to this post for far, far too long : The TF Clinic is now back up and I am returning to work :)

The TF Clinic site has been revamped, and a new treatment will be starting soon. Check it out at www.tfclinic.co.uk

Explanations :

Explanations are needed, and apologies are due. But I'm very much aware that most people don't come to FA to deal with serious matters (quite the opposite in fact).

So, although I finally did a proper journal about what happened in 2013, how serious it was, and why it has continued to drag me out of reliable work until now, I didn't want it to be 'essential reading'. The explanations are in there, as are a great many apologies.

There's also a TLDR, for those who want the short version.

And it's here if you want to read it. (Warning : It is not very well written)

********************************

But the important part is – I'm back. At long last. And I hope it'll be worth the wait.

Please Note me directly if you think I've missed something, or you're waiting for an edit. Please Note me instead of commenting, as it means it's easy to track and ensure I get back to you. As described in the journal, there was some brain damage last year and though I've done my best, I'm petrified that I've missed someone. And I don't want to miss any of you wonderful folks :)

I have a waiting list of 5 slots I'm willing to fill at the moment, if you've been bating :) In the meantime, it's wonderful to be back and see you all :)

Art incoming :)

Speak soon,

Foxydragon / Urbanvixen

Hello everyone,

I don't know if it's said where you live, but there's a phrase we use a fair bit in the UK : “Cliches are cliches because, sometimes, they're true.” It's not said frequently, or even regularly, but we say it with the same resignation with which we (notoriously) talk about the weather.

So when I say, “This is one of the hardest things I've ever had to write.” I know it's a cliché. But it's true... which is awkward in itself. It had to be written. It needed to be posted. But it's not exactly short, or as polished as it could be.

So, it seemed sensible to sum it up in a TLDR, for those who want one. The gist of it, in a paragraph.

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This is the TLDR :

I have been sick. Very, very sick. I have missed you all and the kind words I've received have been an amazing and very important part of my recovery. Please know that I am truly sorry for being gone so long, but I'm not asking for forgiveness. You don't owe me that. I owe you, as a fan who Watches me, who supports me and (hopefully) as one of the amazing people who lets me spend more time drawing than I ever thought I could. What I owe you is some art worth the wait. I hope to give you that. Thank you for sticking with me.

End of the TLDR.

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So... some of you are still here. Okay. Thanks all. Looks like we're doing this...

This is for those of you who have stuck with me, enough that you're actually reading this, and are curious. But it's also for those of you who want and deserve explanations.

It's also for those of you who are wondering if I am actually, and reliably “back.” Of course, actions speak louder than words, so over the next few months I'll just get on with proving that I'm back ;) But after a long time of trying to work out how to explain, I was reminded that the best way to explain is just sit down, and explain

But it's also a little bit for me, because I'm so sorry about what happened and I loathe the thought of being one of those 'vanishing artists'.

This isn't not normally my way; I tend to keep my problems to myself. But, in this case, the only way to apologise, is to explain what I'm apologising for.

What happened ?

In November 2013, I went into organ failure. We... didn't know this at the time.

Since March 2013, my health had been declining. But there were always tidy explanations for it – The house I lived in was full of mould, so of course I was struggling to breathe. The sewers in my garden exploded, so naturally I was very sick. I'd been having heart problems for years, so obviously it was just an age-thing. My hands had been shaking for years, so it was just a sad inevitability that I could no longer hold a pencil properly.

The list goes on …. My mother has migraines, so I'd just hit that age where I inherited them. I have a high metabolism, so that was why I looked like a skeleton. I'm quite active, so that's why I needed 5 meals a day. I had minor strokes (TIAs) but those aren't critical at my age. My hair and eyebrows were falling out. I couldn't sleep, had no energy, was sick all the time, but I used to suffer from Depression so clearly I was just having a bad bout of that.

I don't mention these details because I want sympathy, or to somehow indulge in how rotten it was. I've already had more support from you guys than I ever expected, and I love you for it. And there are people out there who have had it far, far worse. I've met a few. I know how lucky I am.

So why go into it ?

I mention it, because at each stage, I posted journals explaining that I was, in fact, fine. I said that there were bad circumstances. I asked people to bear with me. But it was all good and what-ho, I'd be back momentarily.

I was not fine.

I was not back momentarily.

And that's my biggest regret of the whole treatment; we never knew how serious it was, even at each stage, even after I'd been diagnosed and treatment began. We never had the chance to prepare properly, or put a plan in place. There were times, looking back, where I should have just 'stepped out' clean and clear, for a year. I know many people would have appreciated that more than me endlessly trying to 'come back'.

All I can say is, if I knew then what I know now, there are so many things I'd do differently. But the long and short of it is that – although I couldn't have managed it much better - I could have managed it better than I did. And, for that, I'm sorry.

But I digress.

What was it ?

Short story is that in January 2014, I was diagnosed. Urgent treatment began the same day. The jist, skipping all the lovely complications, was that my metabolism had been extremely over-active for so long that my organs were finally shutting down under the strain. With a resting pulse double the normal, and lacking any body fat whatsoever despite 5 meals a day, my body was cannibalising itself to keep going.

Even though the treatment stopped the condition by June 2014, the damage had been severe and my progress was completely unpredictable. I was prone to relapse, unable to even go food shopping without needing a day to recover.

And yes, through this all I was convinced that I would come back to work any day now. Looking back, I can see how daft that was.

There was significant chaos in my life while I was under treatment – from arson attempts on my flatto criminal damage and violence. I wrote off a lot of my difficulties as 'just dealing with that'.

I even attended Confuzzled in May, which was wonderful. Three days of wonderful folks. I didn't care that I was convinced that my legs existed three feet to the left of my body for the duration (not kidding) – I was “well at last!”

I spent the next month in bed. All the while thinking, “Yes! This is it ! I'm back !” whilst sketching once every two days from my pillow.

Absolutely daft.

But, it was also a symptom; my neurone synthesis (ability to create new memories, and process thoughts) had been severely damaged and retarded. I was quite literally suffering from brain damage.

Over the next year, until February 2015, the treatment was a cycle of progress and relapse, and my body recovered.

So...Are you actually 'back' now, or what ?

I am back.

I will be keeping my workload light, to start with. But the whole point of this journal is to describe what happened, and hopefully answer some questions as to why *this* return is different to the last two or three.

The relapses are over. I have been clear for 3 months. This is it. My test results are perfect. My body is getting stronger. Whilst writing this journal is hard, it's no longer impossible. Whilst my body has been through heck, it's come out the other side.

I have waited for the next relapse to hit, and it hasn't. I am weak, but I am in the clear.

I am back

And I've missed you :)

Does this thing have a conclusion ?

It does.

To those of you who read this awkward mash of words because you wanted to know : Thank you. There's a lot of art incoming, which I hope will make the wait worth it.

To those of you who read because you felt you deserved an explanation : I hope this has given you that. If it felt like I was making excuses, I didn't intend it to – I just wanted to be sure I explained as clearly (and hopefully briefly) as possible. There aren't meant to be any excuses here – only facts, learning experiences, and apologies.

To everyone; I'm sorry for disappearing. And I'm sorry for being unpredictable in my return. But hopefully this has shed some light on why.

The real point of this journal is that it had to be written. It had to be posted. There was no way to 'move on' with the unknown spectre hanging over. There's no way for my apology to mean as much as it's intended to without context.

I'm sorry for being unreliable. I'm sorry for those of you who have been waiting, uncertain. I'm sorry that it happened. I'm sorry that there wasn't more communication.

Of course, I can't meaningfully apologise for being ill. But I can promise that I've learned from the experience, and things are now in place to ensure that everything runs more smoothly if anything like this happened again. The same thing... well... that physically can't happen again. But I can promise that something like it won't go the same way. No one knows what the future holds, but I feel I'm now better prepared for how bad it could get.

This is me moving forward, leaving the last year of medical hell behind. I hope you're looking forward too.

Whatever is going on in your lives, I hope the journey is always worth it.

Thank you for reading. Seriously. Thank you.

Now, how 'bout I post some arts :)

Hey all,

So, moving suddenly and without preparation turned out to be slight ballache. Who knew ? XD Still, it's a massive difference to feel safe in my own home and I hadn't realised how much that had been wearing on me. Not the best place to have been convalescing in, but onwards to better things :)

Thank you all for your love and support. I *really* want to submit some of the things I was working on prior, but I'm not able to yet. The tablet pen is resuming flying about tonight though, so artsies soon.

Stay well and be happy :)

Hey all,

Keeping this brief as juggling a fair bit at the moment. We're currently moving house to a safer location after another attack last night - just the car this time. Prior to that, I had a full hardware failure and lost my harddrive. Prior to that, I had a severe relapse due to a medical messup. (I've now given my password to my partner to post on here should something like this happen again, though it shouldn't be needed)

I've been keeping up with my commissions but I've been struggling with the larger projects. This will change now.

I've gone into an odd zen-state where I'm all about the goodside at the moment. Managed to recover my WIP archive from my harddrive so most work is back underway. The house has been provided by a friend and though in need of severe renovation, it's turned up just when it was truly needed. I'll be able to get my workstation up within a couple of days, so the pause should be brief this time. The meds are back in balance and honestly, it's looking like my condition is now basically under-control and this is it; the golden door we've been heading towards.

Overall, things could be a lot worse. Thank you for bearing with.

<Insert short journal>

<Insert comment re: broken hand>

<Insert love for all, and special mention to people wishing well re: broken hand>

<Insert apology for short journal due to hand being a <insert swear word>>

<End journal>


Working on this week !

1.  sleepynemuri- Colours WIP
2.  geowolf626 - Colours WIP.
3.  Rufellen - Concept sketches underway
4. George Conbadge
5.  Jowgenetsu - Sketches in cleanup
6. Jakk's piece for the book
7. Nall

So... Now being well enough to do all the artsies, I've broken my hand. It's NOT the drawing one, so only an annoyance (esp for typing). But it's put me a couple days behind myself - Notes n Hellos going out this afternoon. Apologies and please bear with !

Greetings from Confuzzled !

Art soon !

That is all ;)

Hey all,

So, I've been invited to guest on a TF Show called Changing Times, run by  CheasyDino. I'm thinking of giving it a shot. What do you guys think ?

Conbadge Slots
Closed for Confuzzled

Transformation Slots
1. Anonymous
2. Reserved
3. Reserved
Feel free to Note me if you have an idea and would like to get a quote / get on the waiting list though :)

General Commission Slots
~Closed to free up for Confuzzled~


General illness update : I'm getting better every day :) Today was wonderful - artz happened in quantity and I'm hoping to post some of it tomorrow. All depends on whether I get a backlash from putting in too much energy today but, right now, it's encouraging. I have discovered one problem though -

My hand... is out of shape.

Seriously... I had to stop, in the end, NOT because my muse climbed back in its box, but because my muscles started aching and got too tired to hold a pencil. 0.o

HOW IS THIS EVEN A THING ?!?!