I forgot to mention that, on Thursday, just before Dad and I went to get bread, a customer of mine brought me some pieces to polish. I still haven't worked on them yet, so I will need to start on that today.
Last night, while I was putting something on the barbecue, something got into my left eye and it's still irritating me. I tried to wash my eye out but no change. I don't know how I'm gonna get through this.
Current queue:
 Chistoso-TheJoke--1 comic commission (numerous errors still to be corrected);
 ParadoxDragon--1 simple shaded color commission, not yet sketched;
 jahubbard--1 2-page comic commission (pending payments).

As most of you have undoubtedly noticed, the hype and hysteria around the Covid-19 epidemic has reached critical levels. For something that has caused far fewer deaths than the flu in this country, it sure has people panicking. Every store in my home town (and probably yours too) is completely sold out of paper products, bottled water, and many other things (I don't mind the water since we have a Brita pitcher and a refrigerator dispenser, both of which use filters). Besides, I've been drinking out of garden hoses since I was literally still in diapers (not even joking, there is actually a photo of me somewhere doing just that, and Mom will no doubt try to humiliate me with it someday), and I turned out fine, so there's really nothing beneficial about bottled water over tap water. Also, not only are the stores limiting their work hours in an attempt to stock up on supplies that are being hoarded by customers, but they are also limiting customers to buying no more than two of any given item. And it doesn't look like this situation will change for at least three weeks. I mean, it's absolute pandemonium out there--empty shelves, long lines, and longer waits. Why? After all, as long as you wash your hands thoroughly and drink plenty of (warm) fluids, you should be okay. This virus, even if it was as deadly as the media has people believing, is nothing to panic over. And yet, that's what the people seem to be doing, like the sheep they are. I don't know about the rest of you, but I for one am much more worried about the hype around Covid-19 than the virus itself, and for good reason. I fear that the hype will do far more damage than the virus could ever hope to accomplish. Someone is undoubtedly making a profit off of all this, and at our expense. Welcome to Plutocratic America!
Now, for the current queue:
 Chistoso-TheJoke--1 comic commission (numerous errors still to be corrected);
 ParadoxDragon--1 simple shaded color commission, not yet sketched;
 jahubbard--1 2-page comic commission (pending payments).

Okay, for those who didn't know, today I had to end mid-stream. Why? Because my Dad is cooking chili beans and wanted to buy fresh French bread at the local Pyrennees bakery, so he needed me to help him. (His knee is injured, and he can hardly get around at all, so he had me buy the bread myself.) But rest assured, I will get the commissions done as soon as possible.
Current queue:
 Chistoso-TheJoke--1 two-page comic commission (numerous errors still to be corrected);
 DanielMania123--1 multi-character pic (most of inking done, coloring/shading to be done later);
 ParadoxDragon--1 simple shaded color commission, not yet sketched;
 jahubbard--1 comic page commission (pending payment).
Again, sorry to delay your commissions so much, thank you for putting up with the delays, and I'll do a stream when I can.

I truly would like to know, what numerical rating would you give my art, if any?
I know, there are those here, some of them professional artists, who say that art is subjective and therefore cannot be graded by numbers, but I have honestly ever believed that. So how would you rate my art?

Been a while since the last time so feel free to ask me anything you're curious about.

Even though my 41st birthday was 8 days ago, my family and I will be celebrating it at home tonight. However, Mom wants me to help her clean the house in order to make it ready, so I will be too busy to stream today. Tomorrow, however, I will most likely be free.
Current queue:
 Chistoso-TheJoke--1 2-page comic (sketched and mostly lettered);
 DanielMania123--1 multi-character pic (sketch complete).

As some of you remember, yesterday while I was streaming, the video kept getting cut off, despite my having restarted the computer. It got so infuriating that I was forced to postpone it until at least today. Now, this morning I decided to update my laptop, which is taking forever. I have no idea when it will finish, or even if it will be able to finish this update, but as soon as it finishes I will be streaming today.
Current queue:
 Chistoso-TheJoke--1 2-page comic commission (both pages sketched, pending inking and coloring);
 DanielMania123--1 multi-character commission (not sketched yet).
I will try to start the stream around noon today (about one hour from this post), but I can't guarantee the laptop will be ready by then.

Seriously, I want to know...who else realizes my lack of artistic talent?
And no, I don't want to hear about "imposter syndrome", which has never been proven to exist; I think everyone else is just in denial of reality.
And to any aspiring artist, has any of you ever been so frustrated at your lack of artistic improvement that you wanted to amputate your arm with a hand saw? I sure have. In fact, scarcely a day goes by that I don't think about it. That feeling of being worthless, incompetent, useless, and talentless can be overwhelming, and I constantly feel as though everyone who claims I have talent is a liar and is just trying to make me feel better. Am I wrong to feel this? Is it wrong for me to feel like I have no talent? If so, how and why?

Yes, today is my 41st birthday, and so far it's been pretty good. I've gotten a few birthday wishes, and thank you to all those who sent said wishes. However, my Dad will have to wear a brace on his knee for several weeks, so he's laid up and can't go on trips or anything. So I guess my birthday will have to be celebrated here. It's just so sad to see him like this. Hopefully he will get better soon, but maybe that's just wishful thinking.
Also, the second Dutch oven pizza last night was a hit! And now the Dutch oven is nice and seasoned black. Not sure what we're gonna do for tonight's dinner but I may go to Rusty's as usual on Fridays.

A couple months ago, Dad bought a Camp Chef(R) Dutch oven. It was a bit rusty but it still had the tag on, indicating it had never been used. So, after bead-blasting it to remove the rust, I seasoned it so it could be used. Ever since then I had thought about finally giving it its first use, to cook pizza. And since today is the last day of my 40th year, I thought, "Why not celebrate it by doing just that?" So I decided to look up a Dutch oven pizza page, and this one was the one I settled on: http://www.thebackyardpioneer.com/2.....ch-oven-pizza/
It even shows how to make your own dough from scratch, which I did: http://www.thebackyardpioneer.com/2.....e-pizza-dough/
Now, aside from forgetting the onions and sausages, I gave this pizza the works: Pepperoni, olives, anchovies, and cheddar and mozzarella cheese, all on tomato paste. The dough seemed a little soft, but Mom and Dad said it was excellent! And I made enough dough for two pizzas, so later I'll make the second one.
So this was a first for several reasons: It was my first day making a Dutch oven pizza, or any pizza for that matter, from scratch, and it was that particular Dutch oven's maiden voyage, if you will. I think Dutch oven pizzas, or any pizza for that matter, tastes so much better if you cook it yourself.
All in all, I'd say this has been a pretty awesome day!

Well, yesterday was a total disappointment! I went to Rusty's Pizza hoping to have dinner, but the place was crowded beyond belief. After about half an hour of waiting in line I talked to a cashier, who said there was a two-hour wait. What?! I had no idea Valentine's Day was their busiest night of the year! So I decided to have leftovers for dinner. As if once again being alone on Valentine's Day wasn't bad enough!
Current commissions queue:
1.  Chistoso-TheJoke--1 three-page comic commission (all three pages complete, awaiting commissioner's approval);
2.  DanielMania123--1 comic page commission, should be easy to make.
I also still have the last two pieces of aluminum alloy to polish, so that should be taken into consideration. And next Saturday is my last day at work, so after that, I'm open.

For what it's worth, anyway. As I am once again alone on Valentine's Day, today is just another day for me. I will most likely never have a girlfriend, let alone get married.
But maybe that's as it should be.

My trip two days ago was superb! I took 196 photographs and two vides, which has to be some kind of record for me! It was also great to have my sister visit us, and to have all the fun that we had.
Current commissions queue:
1.  Chistoso-TheJoke--1 three-page comic commission (all three pages complete, awaiting commissioner's approval);
2.  DanielMania123--1 comic page commission, should be easy to make.
Also, I have three pieces of aluminum alloy to polish over the next two or three days, and since I have been putting it off for a week or two, most likely I will be busy with that tomorrow. Not to mention that I work on Saturday mornings from 8 AM to 11:30 AM PST until the 22nd of this month.
Other than that, I am quite open!

Just so you all know, today Dad and I will be busy with some stuff that needs to be done in the backyard, such as moving some heavy steel pipes and getting rid of other things. Regrettably it may well take all day, so I can't guarantee I'll be able to do a stream today.
Also, as some of you may know, my birthday is the last day of this month, and every year about that time I go on an all-day trip to Kernville and Indian Wells Brewery with my family. This year the trip will be tomorrow, seeing as my sister will be coming tomorrow. We are going to have loads of fun, so I hope.
Anyway, last but not least, here is my current commissions queue:
1.  Chistoso-TheJoke--1 three-page comic commission (1 page complete, 1 page partially colored, 1 page inked);
2.  DanielMania123--1 comic page commission I just got noted about last night.
So that's about where I am schedule-wise, I hope to do a stream soon, but I'm not sure when I'll be able to.

It's been a while since I've done one of these journals, so feel free to ask me any questions you may have, and I'll try to answer them.

I mean, does it? It really begs the question. I was recently linked to this video on YouTube that got me questioning everything I thought I knew about life: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=szPlWk2-p5k&feature=youtu.be
It got me thinking, maybe life has no meaning, and all one does in life is suffer. After all, getting married and having kids only prolongs the suffering of you, your spouse, and any children you might have--why bring a life into this world if almost all they can or will do is suffer?
I have often thought of just ending it all; after all, does my endless suffering and pointless pursuit of artistic greatness really accomplish anything positive? I'd like to know what you all think, and what reasons you can offer why I should continue to struggle and live on.

Follow-up to this journal: http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/9374769/
Today at 1 PST I will be at my aunt's funeral, thereafter I will have lunch at Hodel's in Oildale. After that I will be working at 5:30 PM-7:00PM.
Needless to say, I will not have much time to stream today, so now you know why.

Tomorrow morning at 8-8:30 AM PST (11-11:30 AM EST) I will be doing a special birthday stream for  DanielMania123. I will keep the details of the picture a surprise, but you can watch me at http://picarto.tv/CoffeehoundJoe/
Hope to see you then!

Today at about noon PST I will be doing a tutorial stream for  LeonXIII in which I will explain how to draw arms and hands. It will begin with the basics, then move up to more advanced stuff. It may be a little delayed as I will be having lunch, and also there will be (hopefully brief) interruptions as I will be cooking ribs today.
If interested, you can watch it at http://picarto.tv/CoffeehoundJoe/
Hope you have a good time, and if you learn something from it, even better!

Well, this morning Dad got some really sad news. His older sister, Emily, has passed away. She had just turned 83. We weren't very close, particularly in later years, and she had her problems, but it's still sad to lose another family member. I'm kind of used to it at this point, but still.... At least she isn't suffering anymore.
R.I.P. Emily Baker. You will be missed.

I have probably ranted on this before, but I can't seem to get my mind off of it. Is there a limit to how much one's artistic abilities can improve? And if so, have I already reached it?
I hope that my artistic abilities can further improve, because I'm really tired of not being able to approach my goal. I have been struggling for years and wondering, what if this is really it, and I can't go any further with my artistic self-improvement? If so, then why bother trying to improve?

I am really embarrassed to say this, but I may as well get it over with. Last night I dreamt that I tried wearing diapers under my clothes, and hoped no one would notice. They apparently didn't, but I may have gotten lucky. Then I woke up and was relieved to know it was just a dream. I keep having these dreams every once in a while so they may well be a manifestation of my secret desires, but I dare not act on them. The only way I could do that is if I were to become incontinent, but that is highly unlikely.

Well, it's that time of year again--oh wait, scratch that. it's that time of decade again, where the decade actually comes to a close! I can hardly believe the 2010's are ending and 2020 is just a few hours away! As if I didn't feel so old already! But anyway, I hope you all had a great holiday season, and I'll see you all tomorrow/next year/decade/whatever.

Remember how I seem to always have a habit of putting down my own art, and claiming to be the worst artist on fA? Well, recently I came up with a way to combat that. But first, how many of you are familiar with Dingo Pictures?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bo7jrQPxo0I
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fUm9Ejc_htY
I only recently became aware of this strange studio's existence, and in some ways I wish I'd never heard of them. I mean, their stories, voice acting/dubbing, animation, backgrounds and editing are all extremely shoddy and poorly made, like they made no effort whatsoever to do a halfway decent job. However, by the same token, this studio's shoddily animated trash has a purpose: To show the world how bad art and animation can be, like it's trying to be the perfect example of how not to make an animated film. And, by extension, it can show an artist that, no matter how bad they think their art is, there is always something worse. Looking at Dingo Pictures' repertoire I cannot help but think, "I couldn't draw or animate that badly if I tried!" And it's true, I couldn't, because I'm so much better than that. So every time I think of putting down my own art and animation, from now on I will think of Dingo Pictures, and how its best animation makes my worst art look like the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel by comparison. I also encourage the rest of you who feel like your art is poor to try it as well.

Well, despite some setbacks and disappointing delays, this Christmas was a pretty good one for us. I have only made one Christmas card, but I may make more just the same. I got a new pair of overalls and the book Lou Scheimer: Creating the Filmation Generation, a book which has been on my wishlist for quite some time. So far I find it hard to put down! Some of the gifts I got have yet to arrive, so when they do I guess I can give them the other Christmas card when they come by for their gifts. Oh, and I also got a set of 100 Hethrone dual-tipped brush pens which are really cool, and I'm sure I'll use them for concept sketches and stuff. I also got an adorable Pikachu Christmas T-shirt and a Pikachu coffee mug (which is hard to drink out of but is super-adorable). Emma loved the books I got her, and I'm sure Barbara will love her gifts when they arrive.
Our Christmas dinner was quite the feast. We cooked two pork roasts, one in the kitchen oven and the other in the smoker. We had plenty of leftovers, as well as quite a lot of plates to clean off the table.
All in all, it was a pretty good Christmas, but next year I'll try my hardest to do better, and get things done sooner. Hope you all had a great Christmas too, and I will soon be doing more streams now that I have some free time.