Einsam tapse ich durch die dunkle Nacht.
Auf der Suche nach einem Plätzchen, was mein Herz sich als "zu Hause" erdacht.

Viele Lichter erhellen den feuchten Asphalt.
Doch der trübe Lichterschein, er ist so kalt.

Wärme gab es in diesem Sommer doch im Überfluss,
doch Sehnsucht,
sie schenkte mir nur eisigen Verdruss.

Ich sehe viele Wesen auf zwei Beinen.
Sie sollten mir ähneln, sollte man meinen.
Doch ein Blick in ihre Augen,
dort wo die Seele sich zeigt,
verrät zu oft, dass sie ein anderer Lebenssinn antreibt.

Dort liegt ein trüber Weg ins nebelige Ungewisse.
Doch alles was mein Herz verspürt, ist das ich sie vermisse.
Vielleicht könnte ich den Weg erkunden.
Doch so sinnlos...
Ich hatte dieses Plätzchen doch schon gefunden!

Ziellos streife ich weiter, in der Hoffnung, es könnte dieses Plätzchen wieder geben...
Ich wünsche es mir so sehr, zu finden noch in diesem Leben...

I will try to go to EF, I want to try to fursuit again.
I hope I can do it. I´m currently looking for a room in the Estrel. Maybe as a third room-guest.
If you know someone who have a free spot in a room, please contact me.

The problem is, I have to work until thursday night. It will be a heavy night ride for me to Berlin. Arriving will be Friday morning.
Half the con will be over.

I´m still hesitating, but want to try to attend... Like I alwasy said: a smile, even it it is just for one moment can make a big difference.

So here is my "Maybe-meme":

Created with http://meme.fursuiters.net/

Where are you staying?
-Not sure. Have a free spot in the estrel? Please contact me.

Means of transportation?
-car

Sharing a room with:
-Not sure

What is your gender?
-male

Relationship Status:
-single

How old are you?
-15 with licence to drive convertibles (okay, 35... but who cares...)

How tall are you?
-185cm

Which languages do you speak?
-German and english

Where will you be most of the time during the day?
-Main Hotel, hanging out with friends, fursuiting

Who will you be with?
-I will see... Let it flow...

Do you do free art?
-you can get a cat-smilie, if you want.

Do you do trades?
-nope

Do you do commissions?
-not good enough in drawing

Do you have prints/ CDs?
-nope

What suit(s) will you have?
-Francis

Can I dance with you?
-sure

Can I touch you?
-in suit yes, but don't get too creepy, if I don´t know you!
Friends are okay

Can I talk to you?
-yeah, sure! I like to get in touch with people.

Can I hug you?
-in suit yes, but don't get creepy!
Friends are allways welcome.
Please stay away, if you are smelly!

Can I take photos of you/with you?
-in suit: sure. Out of suit might depend. Just ask.

Can I buy you lots of drinks?
-if you want.

Do you drink Alcohol/Smoke?
-I normaly do not drink alcohol. I don't smoke.

Can I give you lots of money?
-if you want, but why?

Can I hug or snuggle with you?
-If I know you a little bit better. My friends are okay.

Can we hang out?
-Ask and we can see...

Are you nice?
-yes, sometimes I get a little bit melancholic, please don't be offended.

Other cons you may go to?
-Don´t know the next events...

Attending any events?
-Not decided. Big Blue Dance hopefully.

How can I find you at the con?
-If you want to find me and don't have number/whatsapp, try to contact me via Skype. Please write something when you contact me. I don't like empty contact request...

Can we go out for a dinner?
-ask

Are you buying art?
-not decided

What do I have to watch out for, when I am meeting you?
-stay yourself, I am normally a very outgoing person. Sometimes I might be melancholic/emotional... Just be patient, if I´m feeling down.

What is the best way to contact you?
-whatsapp. If you don't have my number try skype. Acatcalledfrancis

May I kidnap you to my room?
-if I know you a little better.

You look pretty tired, are you ok?
I might be sad. This happens, my friends know... I try my best to become myself again. Happy, open, outgoing...
But sometimes very strong emotions can get very overwhelming for me, I might look tired, sad, whatever... If you know me, just give me a hug... Else just ask, if in doubt.

Last time/last con/last meet/last chat we talked so much and now you forgot my name? Why???
-sorry, don't be offended, if that happens.

Will you tell me your room-number and can I surprise visit you?
-I guess no...

I have a personal question for the convention. May I ask you that?
-ask

Ich werde die nächsten Wochen im Krankenhaus verbringen. Psychosomatische Klinik. Ich werde nicht erreichbar sein.
Mein Leben hat mir zu viel Energie gezogen und ich konnte nicht damit umgehen.
Diagnose: schwere Depressionen.
Ich möchte an mir arbeiten. Ohne Medikamente damit klar kommen, dass ich nun mal so bin, wie ich bin. Lernen mich und meine Gefühle zu akzeptieren.
Ich werde dieses Jahr nicht an der Eurofurence teilnehmen. Es würde mir einiges bringen, wieder Freude beim Suiten zu erleben, aber einige Umstände machen es mir unmöglich. Mein Hotelzimmer ist vergeben. Vielleicht bin ich als Tagesgast dort. Wahrscheinlich nicht... -.-
Mein Fursuit hängt hier an meiner Tür, ich sehe ihn an und erinnere mich daran, was es mir bedeutet hat zu suiten.
Letze Woche war ich beim Bavarian Furdance im Partial auf der Tanzfläche und konnte wieder tanzen. Es fühlte sich gut an. Im jetzigen Moment würde es nicht gehen.
Ich vermisse die Nähe zu meinen Freunden, und weiß gerade selber, dass ich nicht das geben kann, was mich ausgemacht hat im letzen Jahr - Lebensfreude.
Ich bin Teil meiner Probleme.
Bitte gebt mir ein wenig Zeit.

I will be in a hospital for the next weeks. A psychosomatic hospital. I won´t be available.
My life-situation drained too much energy and I couldn´t handle it.
diagnosis: major depression.
I want to work on me. I don´t want to take anti-depressants. I believe it won´t help. I want to learn to accept my emotions. My emotions are important to me.
I won´t be at eurofurence this year. I guess it would help me to enjoy the suiting. But some cirumstances make it imposible to attend. I have given my hotel-reservation to another furry. Maybe I will come as a day-guest. I guess I won´t... -.-
My fursuit is hanging at my room-door. I look at it and remember what fursuiting meant for me.
Last week I was at the bavarian furdance in partial fursuit and I could dance again. It was good. Right now, it would be imposible.
I miss closeness to my friends. And I know I can´t be my happy self from the last years. I am part of my own problems.
Please have patience.

:,(

I lost my spirit...

My desire to be happy again, is killing my soul.
Now I can hardly exist in the very moment in the present anymore.
My mind is teared apart into the fear of the future and into the wounds and mistakes from my past.

So many people and those who I call friends keep telling me "Do what makes you happy"
I don´t understand this!
I don´t understand this!

I tried and try so many things, drawing, playing piano, go swimming, driving around, trying to be around those people I like and love...
I try so many things that made me catch a glimpse of happiness days back...
But it is hard... It is not like before... Sometimes it is very impossible.
I drove to fursuit-dances twice the last month, more than 1000 miles of driving... I was with my friends, people I like and love... I was in my suit on the dance-floor and I could not move... :,( I was unable to move... :,( it meant so much to me before...
Because of my fear and desire... I am standing in my way.
I wish my creative spark would come back!

Many times I find myself in despair and anger against myself because I could not and can not handle my emotions.
I can be the most happiest person. And I can cry to heaven because I feel it so strong, because I am so emotional.
I guess I am what is called a "Highly sensitive person"...
And it can be beautiful. It can be inspiring... Not just for me...

Yesterday a colleague told me I should be grateful for the gift of my sensitivity.
In times of joy, in times of happiness, it can be so beautiful. I can feel it. It is like an aura, like a frocefield, that pulsates around me and inspires other people, other souls around me. I even have been told this from some people... It was so joyful.
Fursuiting multiplied this aura.
Three years ago, when I begun fursuiting when I found friends and like-minded souls, I finally found something to spread this energy in me, spread the happy emotions in me. It was easy. It was natural, It was so beautiful... I was reborn.

Now...

I can not suit anymore.
I can not dance anymore.
I keep losing those who I call friends.

And it is my fault, that I wanted to be happy.

I loved and was loved for the first time in my life. It felt so natural, so beautiful.

And then I was tossed away. Dumped... I wanted to retreat, could not handle my emotions. Gathered some strengh back at the beginning of this year...
And now I am hurt again. I hurt myself... I am sorry for my mistakes, that would not have been mistakes if the circumstances had been diffrent :,(
I just wanted to be myself. I just wanted to be happy. Because it was so beautiful. Not just for me...

Now there are days, when I look into the mirror and find myself unable to smile. I want to smile, but I can not. Im really unable to smile... The muscles seems to be numb.
It´s a burning fire inside my heart that burns my soul, burns my energy and my emotions are directed against me.

I am afraid of loosing my job. I was so passionate about editing and color grading film, doing Visual-effects. So many directors, editors and cameramen thanked me for my work.
But I don´t know if can do it anymore. :,(
The work environment is not safe anymore. I don´t know if I will get another contract. And even then... I don´t know if I want to work there anymore. I can not advance there anymore.
But it is one of the only few things that are left... One of the few things that keeps me trying to go on.
I don´t have the power to relocate to another city right now...
And I don´t know how or where to start all over again.
I am feeling so very shaky, like a ball on the edge of a canyon. A small push of the circumstances of life in a wrong direction and I would...

I wish I could gather some strengh. But how?
So many people and those who I call friends keep telling me "Do what makes you happy"...
I don´t understand this!
I don´t understand this... :,(

All I wish right now is for some love and caring. Some emotional security.
I know it should come form myself first...
But...
I don´t understand this... I don´t know how.

All I wish for is a hug, a smile, an honest embrace...
Thank you, for those who try to help me. You know who you are... I appreciate it. I am feeling sorry, that I can not be myself now...
I want to try to be myself again...
Please have patience...
It just too hard for me right now...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qf6jgMizmLM

"Home"...
It is not only a place...
It is more a feeling, when you are togehther with your friends and those you love.
Like I wrote in the story in one of my earlier journals "A place to call home"...
I did not know the song by Vanessa Carlton at that time, or maybe just unconsciously.
But it captures this emotion.

In the last weeks I wasn´t drawing that much, because I was playing piano. Mostly songs by Vanessa Carlton. I love her music. The lyrics have very special meaning for me.
I had lost my dedication for playing the piano in my senior-high-shool 19 years ago.
But now, I seemed to have found it again. And I want to cherrish it!
I am far from perfect. But in everything I do, I try to express myself with my deep feelings in me.
It is a part of me.
I am emotional soul. Last year I was punishing my soul, beacause I could not stand my strong feelings and codemn my self for it.

Through my varius kinds of art, fursuiting, drawing, photography and now playing the piano again, I can express myself better. I can accept myself better.

Every kind words from my friends, from you people, that I only know through the comments on faceboook or Furaffinity makes me smile.
Fursuiting might be the most direct, instant and most beautiful art form. Because it is unexpected in the public outings for "normal" people.
Making others smile, gives so much happiness back...
*cry for joy*
I thank everyone who is part of my journey called "life".

I hope I can continue to make you smile, even when it is only for a small moment. It is important...

Other songs I recorded are:

"A thousand miles" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W-ZWWZu38KI
"Twilight" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_1z4VIf9oKA

Hi meine Fur affinity watcher.
Ich habe eine Frage, die mich im Moment ziemlich stark beschäftigt.
In meinem Leben lief und läuft nicht alles perfekt. Normal, das ist das Leben wohl. Aber ich stelle mir gerade die Frage ob je in meinem Leben meine Trauer über Verluste, die ich erlitten habe oder Trauer über verpasste Chancen, jemals angemessen verarbeitet habe oder meiner Traurigkeit nie wirklich einen angemessenen Raum geben konnte, weil ich es nicht konnte, wollte oder durfte.
Und ich frage mich, ob das, was ich immer als Traurigkeit gesehen habe nicht eher die Ohnmacht über die nicht zugelassene Traurigkeit gewesen ist.
Wie geht ihr mit Traurigkeit um? Wie schließt ihr mit Traurigkeit ab? Was ist Eure Strategie mit den negativen Einflüssen und Verlusten im Leben umzugehen?
Weinen als Ausdruck der Traurigkeit scheint offensichtlich... Aber was ist, wenn keiner die Tränen gesehen hat, sehen konnte oder wollte?
Kann man alleine eine Trauer bewältigen?
Kann eine Beschäftigung mit positiven Dingen und Freude ein Teil der Trauer-Verarbeitung sein oder ist es eher eine Verdrängung?
Denken an schöne Momente...
Ist ist das eine Akzeptanz der Trauer oder nicht wahr haben können oder wollen?
Was ist Eure Strategie bei Trauer/Traurigkeit?

Hi my fur affinity watchers.
I have a question, I have to think about deeply right now.
In my life not everything went or is perfect. Normal, that's life I guess...
But I ask myself, if I was ever able to really cope with my sorrows and sadness.
Could I really cope with my sorrow and accept my loses or missed chances?
Could I really give sadness enough room? Or was I unable to cope with sadness and sorrow, because I did not know how, because I didn't want to accept or did not allow myself to feel sad. To really accept it.
I ask myself, if my vision of sadness was more faint about my inability with coping with than coping with sorrow and sadness itself.

What is your strategy of coping with sorrow, how do you accept and allow sadness in life?
Crying seems to be obvious.
But what if nobody saw the tears? If nobody was able or wanted to see the tears?
Is it even ever possible to cope with sorrow alone? To accept sadness alone?
Can doing happy activities, forcing oneself to be happy again be a part of being sad or is it just a way to supress the feeling of sadness?
To think about the good times... Can it be part of the acception of sorrow, grief, loss or sadness? Or is it avoidance?

What is your way to cope with sorrow, loss, grief, sadness?

Eine kleine Geschichte, die ich vor Wochen schon mal in Englisch verfasst habe und nun (leicht) erweitert frei übersetzt habe:

Heute morgen um 4 Uhr in der früh, als ich müde von der Arbeit nach Hause kam, traf ich ein Kätzchen auf der Straße. Sie war eine Schönheit, ihr weißes Fell war sanft und kuschelig und in ihren großen runden Augen spiegelte sich der Mondschein. Ich hatte die Katze schon mal getroffen. Und obwohl es schon Monate her war, erkannte sie mich sofort wieder. Als ich langsam auf sie zukam, setzte sie sich auf ihre Hinterpfoten und schaute mich mit ihren magischen leuchtenden Augen an. Vorsichtig schritt ich auf sie zu. Die langsame und sanfte Annäherung meiner Hand als Begrüßungzeichen wurde mit einem Köpfchen-geben ihrerseits erwidert.
Ich setzte mich auf den Boden, der schon seit Stunden keinen warmen Sonnenstrahl mehr empfangen hatte. Der Asphalt hätte kalt sein müssen, aber er war es nicht, er war warm, plötzlich aufgewärmt von einer magischen Kraft die sich als Vertrauen und bedingungslose Liebe unserer Seelen zueinander beschreiben lässt.
Ich kraulte sie am Rücken mit meiner Hand, die sich nach ihrem samtweichen Fell sehnte. Und ihre Sehnsucht nach einem Seelen-verwandten Fremden in der Nacht ließ ihren Körper voller Freude schnurren. Sie war eine Schönheit, noch ziemlich jung aber mit der Weisheit von tausenden von Jahren wie man ein gebrochenes und schmelzendes Herz heilen kann.
Unmittelbares Vertrauen, bedingungslose Liebe. Eine Emotion, wo die schönste Freude und die tiefste Verzweiflung einen Plätzchen zur Erlösung finden kann - „zu Hause“. In diesem Moment waren wir „zu Hause“.
Ich kraulte sie hinter dem Ohr und sie schloss langsam ihre Augen. Sie sagte damit zu mir: „Hi mein feliner Freund, ich habe Dich so lange nicht getroffen. Es ist so schön Dich wieder zu sehen. Ich vertraue Dir.“
Ich legte mich nun ganz mit meinem Rücken auf dem Boden und sie nahm die Einladung an. Langsam tapste sie auf meinen Bauch, drehte sich in Katzenmanier um ihre eigene Achse und legte sich auf meinem Körper. Etliche Minuten vergingen, in denen wir es genossen uns zu streicheln, unseren Geruch und Zärtlichkeiten auszutauschen. Ihr weiches Fell war so faszinierend und magnetisch. Ich musste sie wohl schon für mehr als eine Viertel Stunde gekrault haben. Die Zeit spielte keine Rolle, hatte keine Bewandtnis. Die Zeit blieb einfach stehen. Ich fühlte jede einzelne Strähne ihres weißen Fellkleides. Jedes Mal wenn meine Hand über ihren Pelz streichelte war es eine Linderung von traurigen Emotionen. Jedes sanfte und laute Schnurren war eine exponentielle Vervielfältigung von Freude und Liebe.
Ein Plätzchen, dass man „zu Hause“ nennt.
Wir schauten uns einfühlsam in die Augen und wünschten uns ein Wiedersehen. Sie tapste elegant von meinem Körper und ich stand auf. Ein letztes Schnurren, ein letztes Augenzwinkern und dann trennten sich unsere Wege.
Ich frage mich, wann wir uns wiedersehen...

Basierend auf einer wahren Begebenheit.

---

Original first english version:

This morning at 4am, when I came home from work, I meet a kitty on the streets. She was a beauty, her white fur was soft and cuddly and her big round eyes were shining in the full moonlight. I had seen her before and although it had been months before, she instantly recognized me. As I was slowly walking towards her, she sat on her hindpaws and looked at me. A slow and gentle approach of my hand as a reintroduction was greeted by a trusting headbump. I sat down on the street, that hadn't seen any warm sunshine beam since many hours. The asphalt should have been cold but it wasn't, it was warm, warmed by a magical force called trust and unconditional love of our souls towards each other.
I stroked her back with my hand, that were longing for her soft fur. And her longing for a gentle stranger in the night made her instantly purr. She was a beauty, young at age but full of wisdom of thousand years how to heal a melting, broken heart. Instant trust, unconditional love. An emotion were the most beautiful happiness and the deepest sadness can find a place for relief, a place to call "home". At that moment we were at home.
I crawled her behind the ears and she closed her eyes. She was telling me: "Hi my feline soul mate, long time no see, nice to meet you again. I trust you." I lay down on the ground and she walked slowly on my belly, turned around to find the right spot, sat down and we enjoyed some minutes of crawling, cuddling, exchange of smell and affection. Her soft fur was so magnetic, I must have stroked and cuddled her for about a quarter of a hour. It didn't matter. The time stood still. I felt every fur strand of her white coat. Every stroke was a relief for sad emotions. Every soft and loud purr was a exponential multiplication of happiness and love.
A place to call home...
We looked each other in the eyes and said goodbye. She walked off my body and I stood up. A last purr, a last blinking of the eyes and then we parted our ways.
I'm wondering when we will see us again...

Based on a true incident

This morning at 4am, when I came home from work, I meet a kitty on the streets. She was a beauty, her white fur was soft and cuddly and her big round eyes were shining in the full moonlight. I had seen her before and although it had been months before, she instantly recognized me. As I was slowly walking towards her, she sat on her hindpaws and looked at me. A slow and gentle approach of my hand as a reintroduction was greeted by a trusting headbump. I sat down on the street, that hadn't seen any warm sunshine beam since many hours. The asphalt should have been cold but it wasn't, it was warm, warmed by a magical force called trust and unconditional love of our souls towards each other.
I stroked her back with my hand, that were longing for her soft fur. And her longing for a gentle stranger in the night made her instantly purr. She was a beauty, young at age but full of wisdom of thousand years how to heal a melting, broken heart. Instant trust, unconditional love. An emotion were the most beautiful happiness and the deepest sadness can find a place for relief, a place to call "home". At that moment we were at home.
I crawled her behind the ears and she closed her eyes. She was telling me: "Hi my feline soul mate, long time no see, nice to meet you again. I trust you." I lay down on the ground and she walked slowly on my belly, turned around to find the right spot, sat down and we enjoyed some minutes of crawling, cuddling, exchange of smell and affection. Her soft fur was so magnetic, I must have stroked and cuddled her for about a quarter of a hour. It didn't matter. The time stood still. I felt every fur strand of her white coat. Every stroke was a relief for sad emotions. Every soft and loud purr was a exponential multiplication of happiness and love.
A place to call home...
We looked each other in the eyes and said goodbye. She walked off my body and I stood up. A last purr, a last blinking of the eyes and then we parted our ways.
I'm wondering when we will see us again...

Based on a true incident

Created with http://meme.fursuiters.net/

Where are you staying?
-Estrel Main Hotel

Means of transportation?
-car

Sharing a room with:
-Schwarzmoor

What is your gender?
-male

Relationship Status:
-single

How old are you?
-15 with licence to drive convertibles (okay, 34... but who cares... ;))

How tall are you?
-185cm

Which languages do you speak?
-German and english

Where will you be most of the time during the day?
-Main Hotel, hanging out with friends, fursuiting

Who will you be with?
-too many friends to list

Do you do free art?
-I am not an artist in the drawing world

Do you do trades?
-I am not an artist in the drawing world

Do you do commissions?
-I am not an artist in the drawing world

Do you have prints/ CDs?
-nope

What suit(s) will you have?
-Francis

Can I dance with you?
-sure

Can I touch you?
-in suit yes, but don't get creepy!
Friends are okay

Can I talk to you?
-yeah, sure! I love to get in touch with people.

Can I hug you?
-in suit yes, but don't get creepy!
Friends are allways welcome.
Please stay away, if you are smelly!

Can I take photos of you/with you?
-in suit: sure. Out of suit might depend. Just ask.

Can I buy you lots of drinks?
-if you want. But only alcohol free.

Do you drink Alcohol/Smoke?
-I do not drink alcohol. I don't smoke. Sometimes nicotine-free e-cigarettes...

Can I give you lots of money?
-if you want, but why?

Can I hug or snuggle with you?
-If I know you a little bit better. My friends are okay.

Can we hang out?
-if I find some time... ;) Just ask.

Are you nice?
-yes, sometimes I get a little bit melancholic, please don't be offended. Inside I am the most happy person right now, it's just some emotional chaos.

Other cons you may go to?
-Cologne Fur dance for sure. Nordic für dance most probably. If I am very lucky, maybe Midwest furfest.
Maybe FWA 2015.

Attending any events?
-main events like opening, kages story hour, and that kind...
Fursuit making by zykwen, charity concert and I want fureoke in suit :P

How can I find you at the con?
-If you want to find me and don't have number/whatsapp, try to contact me via Skype. Please write something when you contact me. I don't like empty contact request...

Can we go out for a dinner?
-ask

Are you buying art?
-sure, I also want to Comission an artists for a special picture <3

What do I have to watch out for, when I am meeting you?
-stay yourself, I am normally a very outgoing person.

What is the best way to contact you?
-whatsapp. If you don't have my number try skype. Acatcalledfrancis

May I kidnap you to my room?
-if I know you a little better. ;)

You look pretty tired, are you ok?
-A lot of positive things happened in my life very lately in the last two months. I am in a sense reborn.
Sometimes those very strong emotions can get very overwhelming for me, I might look tired, sad, whatever... If you know me, just give me a hug... Else just ask, if in doubt.

Last time/last con/last meet/last chat we talked so much and now you forgot my name? Why???
-sorry, don't be offended, if that happens.

Will you tell me your room-number and can I surprise visit you?
-maybe

I have a personal question for the convention. May I ask you that?
-maybe

Just some thoughts, and what it means to be a furry for me:

Why is it often so hard to express every feeling we have in every single moment of our lifes?

It is the fear of the future...
It´s the wounds from the past...
It´s the the knowledge of us humans, that someday we are going to die...
And conscious or involuntary subconscious, we humans are fearing the end. We fear that we loose the life.
This fear restricts us.

I envy the animals for the lack of this awareness restriction!
They don´t fear death, but they know how to life a genuine life.

I want to free myself, let go the worries...
I want to break those chains of my human nature.
I want to feel every heartbeat, I want to feel the warmth of every sunshine beam...
I want to feel closeness to others, without boundaries...
But often I can´t... And it hurts...


Warum fällt es mir, Dir, uns manchmal so schwer das auszudrücken, was wir in jedem Moment unseres Lebens fühlen?
Es ist die Angst vor der Zukunft...
Die Wunden aus der Vergangenheit...
Das Wissen von uns als Menschen, dass wir irgendwann sterben werden...
Und bewusst oder unbewusst fürchten wir uns davor Etwas zu verlieren, das wir dadurch oft nicht wahrnehmen. - Das pure Leben.

Ich beneide die Tiere um das Fehlen dieser Bewusstseinseinschränkungen!

Ich will mich im "Hier und Jetzt" fallen lassen, möchte meine menschlichen Fesseln sprengen.
Das ist es, was Furry für mich bedeutet...
Ich möchte jeden Herzschlag spüren, ich will jeden Sonnenstrahl des Lebens genießen. Ich möchte Nähe spüren ohne Grenzen.

Und doch...

So, here is my first Journal:

I´m very excited to join the party again
I meet so many nice people and friends, since I´m part of this community and I´m looking forward to meet more nice people and make new friends.
I will arrive EARLY and leaving half LATE Sunday night.
LET´s have a lot of fun and let´s make this event EPIC!



Created with http://meme.fursuiters.net/

Where are you staying?
-Maritim Main Hotel

Means of transportation?
-My Convertible^^

Sharing a room with:
-PezBear

What is your gender?
-Male

Relationship Status:
-single

How old are you?
-33, Young at heart. I always say 15 with the license to drive a convertible ^^

How tall are you?
-184cm?

Which languages do you speak?
-German, English

Where will you be most of the time during the day?
-Around Friends, Fursuiting, Cooling down and chilling in the headless-lounge, main-events...

Who will you be with?
-with my friends

Do you do free art?
-I do not draw

Do you do trades?
-I do not draw

Do you do commissions?
-I do not draw

Do you have prints/ CDs?
-Nope

What suit(s) will you have?
-Francis =^.^=

Can I dance with you?
-Sure! I like to move around to music, some people might actually call it dancing I love it!

Can I touch you?
-Yes, but please don´t be too creepy, if I don´t know you...

Can I talk to you?
-Sure, I love to get in touch with new people. Feel free to say Hi

Can I hug you?
-Sure, Free hugs ^^

Can I take photos of you/with you?
-In suit yes. Out of suit: Only if you asked before, please.

Can I buy you lots of drinks?
-As long it is alcohol-free: sure, lets have a drink

Do you drink Alcohol/Smoke?
-I´m´a drug-free fur! I hardly ever drink, don´t smoke.

Can I give you lots of money?
-Why? Okay, if you want to, but... Why?

Can I hug or snuggle with you?
-Hugging is fine with me. Snuggling, only if I know you...

Can we hang out?
-Sure

Are you nice?
-I think so.

Other cons you may go to?
-Maybe, maybe, hopefully... MidwestFurfest 2013 in Nov. Hotel is allready booked

Attending any events?
-Definitely the main events. Kages Story Hour, Opening, Closing, Fursuit-Parade... PawPet-Show! Maybe Motorfurs. The DANCES Yeah!!!

How can I find you at the con?
-Just look around for a teal-colored peppermint tiger-snow-leopard hybrid...

Can we go out for a dinner?
-Ask.

Are you buying art?
-Maybe.

What do I have to watch out for, when I am meeting you?
-Be yourself, be nice.

What is the best way to contact you?
-Saying Hi^^

May I kidnap you to my room?
-Hmm... Let me think...

You look pretty tired, are you ok?
-Hopefully... Fursuiting can be very stressful for my body. Sometimes I need a little time to cool down again.

Last time/last con/last meet/last chat we talked so much and now you forgot my name? Why???
-Please don´t be sad, if I can´t remember your name. Cons and Meets are full of many new faces and names...

Will you tell me your room-number and can I surprise visit you?
-Hm. That´s a tough question...

I have a personal question for the convention. May I ask you that?
Okay... Just ask