The poll I put up a couple days ago was very helpful.

I never would have guessed that Darnlake would be so incredibly high in demand so that is going to get attention ASAP. You guys are all crazy for wanting it so bad and I'm even more insane for writing it. I like the characters and the ideas I've come up with so far, I am just really worried that this is what I'll become known for when it was just supposed to be a writing experiment. Still, I'm already planning out the rest of the plot so everything makes sense. We're looking at a minimum of 15 stories in the series here, so I want to make sure each one ties in to the next properly and that this weird plant story has some hope of making sense in the end. I would like to get this done all within 2013.

I'll do another 99% non-fiction too but those can be tricky for so many reasons. At least one is coming in the new future.

This also lets me know that I can slack on the big story project since almost no one is eager for it. I also need more time to think the next step for the Our Wives stories so I'm fine giving those more time.

I expected my reader base to be a total sausage-fest. I'm just glad my M/F crowd is growing and I intend to give them a reason to stick around. Something weird is that FA prefers romance while Sofurry favors graphic detail. I don't know why there is a gap between the two sites but I'll definitely take that in mind the next time I use a new concept.

I've been trying to focus a little and be productive here but I want to concentrate my efforts in the right direction. Please do me a quick favor and answer these five questions:

Click this to answer questions.
Click this to check results.

I want to thank everyone for the kind words in my previous journal. Being able to refresh FA all day and see that 1C of pleasant support really helped me stay a little more optimistic. Now things are gradually improving. I no longer feel physically sick and I'm able to listen to music without worrying about it imprinting negative memories. Appetite and mood is still terrible, but both are getting there. Libido is only starting to return.

I've wanted to be a father so badly for so long. Having that ripped from me is what bothers me most of all. Going outside and seeing parents with their kids is probably what still stings worst.

As my feelings for her start to fade I'm left feeling more upset with her than anything else. I think her and I both are disappointed and a little surprised that she is still a selfish, self destructive person. Everything was so sudden that you would think some warning signs would have been available, but there was nothing there. Apparently she put too much planning for the future out of her mind and once the future came she defaulted into old bad habits. She needs someone to dig her out of that hole and my hand is no longer being offered. I do not hate her or wish her ill, but the girl most definitely robbed the both of us of an incredibly bright future. This is something I will never be able to forget the pain of.

My strategy so far has been to think about this as little as possible while also not getting behind on anything essential. College work, bathing, food, appointments, etc. It feels terrible to be responsible when I'd rather acquire drugs and stay in bed, but I know it is better to maintain what I still have.

Oddly enough while this is my most emotionally painful break up, I think it may eventually prove to be the easiest one to get over in specific areas. I've already half adjusted to not having her around here since it was years since she lived in this house with me and I've always been visiting her over in Ohio. Her and I were both so busy working and preparing for her to come here so we weren't even playing the same games, all contact was over the phone and through Skype. So, while I feel the ache of missing the children I'll never have with her, I don't feel the emptiness of her side of the bed.

It's still rough to smile and I feel drained very easily. I think it is safe to say worrying about me is unnecessary.

The thought of dating again absolutely disgusts me. It will probably be a while still before I'm prepared to embrace that.

It always bothers me when people post vague bullshit when a relationship ends and then they digress into an emo pity party so I'm going to try really hard to avoid that.

We spent a lot of time and money on each other. I had a diamond and plans to propose. We discussed having four children together and even knew where and when we'd be married.

Shelby and I broke up. The reasons were incredibly stupid. We had a very solid plan for our lives together that was at least 99.9% set in motion and she decided to derail it. Instead of working as a team she went rogue and went with short term due to emotion rather than logic. She couldn't leave her family temporarily for a few years to come here until we were able to financially live together over there. She knew it would destroy her and I in the long term and yet still refused to budge, this completely ripped apart the trust I had for her, which makes me unable to plan anything else out with her. Her feelings for me should trump temporary emotion but they did not. Now I do not believe I can ever trust her with major life decisions, which makes any future together impossible. We still love each other and yet we are now over, it is ridiculously stupid.

I'll delete this after a few days because I definitely won't want to look back on it.

I'm devastated to say the least and I definitely will not be okay. Maybe ever. Too much hope crushed and too many disappointments in life. I'll suffer for a good while but I suppose eventually I'll suck it up and survive. I had this vision of a beautiful future that now can never happen. I won't have my family and I won't be the same person.

I don't know what to say. I'll be incredibly depressed. We'll both be miserable. It makes no sense at all, it just hurts. I guess I'll be fine eventually so we can skip the pity party. No suicide, no cutting, just dark depression for a little while.

Just understand if I don't talk on Skype for a while maybe. That'd be appreciated.

Like the rest of the world I've been playing Pokémon X & Y if you want to add me on there please leave your friend code in a note or comment here. Mine is 4871-4442-6270.

If you're interested in a little trivia about myself, I didn't start actually playing any of these games until I was in high school but I've always played every generation and have always caught every single pokémon that was available. I used to travel to tournaments and events as well before things moved properly to the internet and wireless downloads. I'll have to wait until December 27th when the bank opens up to transfer everything, but there is still a lot to do until then.

Speaking of X & Y specifically, if you ever want to throw O-powers my way I tend to make the most use of HP restores and prize money. Let me know what you prefer and maybe I can throw some your way as well. =)

Lately I have been working on a lot of different writings but various "problems" have had them stuck in the pipeline. I normally work alone and have learned some positives and negatives from trying to collaborate with others. I've never had so much written down without having an actual story complete and ready to show for all of that effort.

One story should have been out months and months ago. Unfortunately the individual I was working with has some of the worst communication in anyone I've ever dealt with. No response for weeks at a time, vague answers, and often going silent for entire months. This especially hurts my writing style because I let a story "cook" in my head for quite a while before I write it out. I have this person's story so well thought out that it would only take me a couple hours to produce it, but I can't even get them to have a simple conversation with me. It is very disappointing that it will probably never see the light of day.

Another story was a collaboration for a comic. The blame for this taking forever goes both ways. I experimented too much and the artist has been dragging his feet. The good news is that the final product should be amazing, but it will just take longer than we thought. The written story is now 100% complete but I am waiting on a couple things before I post it. I am always about quality over quantity when it comes to a story. The quality will absolutely show when this is ready.

The third story suffers from my own ambition and lack of knowledge in new territory. I had ideas for this thing two years ago and it keeps changing constantly. Its originality makes it beautiful but also gives me no common ground to work with at all. It is too original and that will keep me from getting it done even in the next year. I don't want to half ass it, writing is a way to get the story inside of my mind inside of yours. I'll rework it as much as I have to until I get it right.

I've really been putting a lot of time in effort into trying to make this thing a reality. I am hoping to get some sort of a demo out there so people can actually understand what I'm talking about when I reference this thing. The end goal should be an interactive story so rich with detail it almost feels alive. With programming mixed in I'm able to have reader choices bleed into the story to make each experience feel custom made. I should also be able to add variety to each piece of this massive puzzle so that those who spend extra time going through it more than once are experiencing different conversations and different situations on the 2nd, 3rd, and 4th visits. I probably sound crazy trying to explain it but it is so crystal clear in my head. I just really need that demo.

What I really need is someone to bounce ideas off of and to put in hypothetical situations so I can refine the choices of this story. If you're a fan of even one story I've written in the past then there absolutely has to be something for you in here. If you aren't afraid to talk on Skype and have free time every once in a while, let me know. I just need to learn a little bit more about javascript syntax and html5 then I can start to go crazy on this thing.

There were a few reasons behind me commissioning this picture recently. One of which has to do with an interactive story I've been thinking of lately. As the idea stands right now, it would be a five chapter story the features my own character. Each reader's version would be drastically different since the story would change as choices were made. I have tons of notes prepared for this sort of thing already, so it is just a matter of getting it right once I begin the bulk of the work. Here are some basics I have planned.

Features of the story...
- Ancient tribal societies of various anthropomorphic species
- Focus on the role and perspective of leadership in balancing strength with diplomacy
- Heavily decision focused where characters treat the reader differently depending on actions
- Contains multiple repeatable sex scenes that randomize for repeat readings

Each reader would be able to...
- Making meaningful decisions that shape the world and the characters around them
- Customize the main character in a way that better suits the reader's perspective
- Interact with plot characters differently based on the reader's own sexual and positional preference
- "Save" story characters that were personal favorites to interact with on a more personal level

This would take me months of work and the less I have to redo the better. I hope you take the time to give me as much feedback as possible so that I can get this right the first time.

Please Click This and give me your honest opinion before I start this project.

I get a whole lot of positivity from people on here and as great as that is, I'm looking for some criticism. Preferably constructive but I'll take whatever you've got. I'm looking for criticism on me as a person, character, writer, etc. Be blunt, be bold, be mean if you have to. I can take it and I'm literally asking for it.

I also want to put a set of restrictions on myself...
(1.) I will not hold anything against you. We can both assume you also have warm fuzzy feelings for me too. I won't think you hate me unless you tell me you hate me.
(2.) I must respond to every comment, but only once. You may respond as often as you like.
(3.) I can not argue with you or explain why you're wrong.
(4.) I won't bring the subject up later unless you specifically choose to.

I don't talk about this much on FA but I am a huge fan of Starcraft and have been looking forward to a new Zerg campaign for a long time. I wasn't very good at the original games when I was younger but I loved the story and absolutely fell in love with the Zerg race. I've managed to hold firm in Master League for seven consecutive seasons in Wings of Liberty 1v1 and I'm hoping to get even better in Heart of the Swarm.

Please feel free to add me on there if you are getting the game. I do a lot of 1v1 ranked ladder but I also play team games, as well as customs and arcade games to pass the time.

Battle Tag: Dogger#1269
Character Code: Dogger#339

For starters please Click This and let me know what your main interest for watching me is. We've done this before but this should help things be more clear.

The reason I am revisiting this is because someone was very, very upset with me about the last story I posted. I can handle negative criticism and even losing watchers, that's just part of how things go on here. Having someone personally upset at something I post gets to me, even if it is ridiculous.

If I have ever written or posted something that offends or bothers you, this is your best opportunity to talk to me about it. I'd like to know the negatives as well as the positives when I post something here.

The last story that I wrote was basically 99.9% based on real events. This will likely not be the last time I write something like this. If this bothers or offends you then you probably won't appreciate what I post in the future.

I have a commission in the works and others planned for the year. I will also be rewriting my Darnlake series (pure fiction) and possibly continuing the Our Wives series. It is very unlikely that I will personally draw any of my own stuff within the year so I apologize to the one or two of you that watch me for my own artwork.

So there I was, in the piercing shop with my cock in the piercer's hand, but I did not get a Prince Albert.

While I am (unfortunately) circumcised, too much of my frenulum remains. Technically this is good news, but it is very bad news for my ability to get pierced correctly. In order for me to get a Prince Albert piercing, I would have to have the piercing on the left or right side of the frenulum and I just can't bring myself to have an asymmetrical dick.

The culmination of asking FA, 3+ months of combined internet research, talking to various piercers, and literally a 3 hour Skype interview with  notoriousscavenger (You were so awesome for doing that BTW) resulted in me learning that despite the fact that I clearly want a piercing, I can never get the actual piercing that I want.

So, be asymmetrical? Give up on the PA? At this point I have no idea what I should do.

I've been seriously considering getting a Prince Albert lately. If you aren't aware of what that is then look at the ring this bull has through his cock. There is also a whole thread up on fchan.

Pros
• I like the look of it
• I know I would love the way it feels
• I could also wear a prince's wand
• At this current point in my life I absolutely want one 100%.

Cons
• If I ever change my mind the hole is permanent
• Won't be able to take a piss without minding the piercing
• I may miss out on potential relationships if the other person dislikes the piercing
• I'll feel uneasy around high powered magnets

Anyway, I'm looking for more thoughts on the subject. Please weigh in and don't worry about giving a strong opinion. I know it's my dick blah blah blah but I still want to know what others think on the subject. I know it is something personal and it is my body, but it is something that I'd literally be sharing with other people so I feel like it is an impossible decision to make without knowing more about others think.

I go through a cycle when I talk to people. I'm aware of this and how bad it can be, but I don't know how to fix it without drastically changing other things in my life.

"Hello there, who are you and where did you find me from?"
When we first get to know each other I'm very curious with a lot of questions. I want to understand you and figure out why you do the things you do and how you view the world. We'll likely talk on a daily basis or however long time allows. I've had situations where I've spent the entire day with someone on Skype, kept someone company for hours while they draw, or sent paragraphs of notes back and forth constantly. I push every boundary of my free time for this new person.

It is very possible I am too giving with my time when I first meet someone, giving them the impression I will always be involved with them to that high degree. I hate the thought of giving this up though because if someone is available and we both want to talk to each other then it feels too much like a waste not to.

"Hey, haven't seen you in a while."
Once I feel I know someone and things settle, I try to keep in touch only when they approach me or I have an abundance of free time. I still care as much as I always have, but I just don't want to devote every free moment toward them. They have their life and so do I, our activities prior to knowing each other should still be able to co-exist with talking to one another, just less frequently. Conversing seems to come in bursts here and there, we could talk for weeks and go silent for weeks, but the option to find each other is always there.

I could also fix this by making sure to talk to everyone I know on a regular basis no matter what in order to make sure we have regular contact. Then again, it wouldn't do either of us a favor for us to talk just for the sake of talking and I don't want to waste an hour of someone's time just so they won't forget me.

"I'm sorry, it feels like its been forever."
The less you approach me the less I'll approach you. This isn't a rule I follow, but it is a behavior I default into. I'll want to fixate on this game or that project and ignore everything else until it's done. Maybe I have a large amount of classwork due that I need to focus on or a story I need to write down. I won't miss you because you're still on my mind and I feel like we could always talk next week or next month. When we talk again I'll feel like it's only been a few days, but maybe it really has been too long for you. You might feel like I forgot about you, stopped caring, or abandoned you. I haven't, but I also didn't do anything to reassure you that I still care.

I could not obsess over new things or projects to make sure that my social connections don't fade away. Yet that goes against my very nature, I love exploring new things or new ideas, often those that I can completely immerse myself in for long periods of time. I end up being more like a guest than a friend. This was never my intention, but it continues to happen.

I try to make sure every conversation I have is meaningful. I'm often busy and I treat others like they are as well. I want to make sure I'm not interrupting what is important to you. When I think about the people I have met online and still talk with years down the road, it tends to be those that approach me often and those that don't mind gaps in our interaction. I may not be a wonderful candidate for someone's new best friend, but if we've ever spoken then please know that I still care. If you try to talk to me, I'll make myself available.

The in game preview for Frostfang is still bugged and I feel this amazing axe is so under appreciated next to weapons like Twilight and Eternity that we all see so much of. I didn't want to make this to say "Oh look at me I got a legendary." but the entire time I was working on getting Frostfang I could never find a good video or picture of it up close. I hope this video lets people see how many great effects this axe has on it.

I've never mentioned playing Guild Wars 2 on here before but I've been pretty consistent with it since the day it came out. I feel like the innovations alone have spoiled me from any other MMO (Including World of Warcraft where I hold Shadowmourne). If any of you are still playing the game I would love to hear it and what you've thought of it's direction so far. I'm on the Tarnished Coast server so feel free to throw a friend request at Dogger.1867

While that statement has been and will forever be true, it might be a good one to move away from. The goal here is not to tell you what to do but maybe help reconsider some things about bringing a character outside of your mind and into a world that we all share. I'd like to bring up some opinions I've built up after looking at thousands of characters over more than a decade.

You are already unique and interesting.
Most of us are here in furry because at some point in our lives were were too different or social outcasts. Many of us still are. We don't "fit in" with most people. While that may hurt a lot of us socially, it is a great way to be interesting in adulthood. We are more open to being free thinkers and paving our own path, we are able to embrace what makes us different instead of trying to be like everyone else. Your character should reflect at least 50% (if not more) of what makes you unique. You don't need to artificially add rainbow fur or wings to stand out.

There's nothing wrong with being short or average height.
Too many characters are six-foot-something if not seven-foot-something. Why? Why does everyone have to pretend to be so fucking tall? The fandom is a social experience, it doesn't exist unless it is shared with other people. You can't just decide you're the tallest, strongest, fastest, etc. We may as well just form a rule where you take your own height +1 foot. It's unnecessary.

Use moderation and have flaws.
It's okay not to be perfect, even when it comes to your character. It's hard to respect someone that has to pretend to be an over muscled super hero with a 200+ I.Q. that discovered the cure to cancer while his super model girlfriend was riding his 14inch dick and telling him he should add porn star to his modeling career. In order to be relatable your character should have both achievements and shortcomings.

There is such a thing as too many accessories.
Wearing a harness, a leather hat, and smoking a cigar stops being masculine when you can't go anywhere without the combination. Just in the same way wearing emo clothes, dyed hair/fur, and wielding a fantasy weapon everywhere makes you a child. Scars, wings, tattoos, wallet chains, military gear, weapons, and tights are not as cool as you may think they are to everyone else. Give these things some real thought before they become canon for your character, they may not be giving others the impression that you desire.

Have a world of your own.
Make it possible for someone else to imagine themselves in your world. Being a lion that manages a casino in Vegas is interesting. Just being a muscle dragon that fucks a lot isn't. Imagine Disney's Robin Hood, a fox that steals from the rich and gives to the poor, lives in medieval times and has his own goals and struggles to overcome. That story connected with a lot of people even before the anthro version was put on screen. You may not be Disney but that doesn't mean you can't craft a world around your character that others can find just as fascinating.

Break rules.
Have a creative vision you believe in. Believe that if something is amazing to you and makes complete sense in your mind then there must be some conceivable way to express that amazing thing in a way others can see too. Take caution with hybrids because they are easy to get wrong, but that doesn't mean they can never work. There is room in the fandom for Gryphons and Sergals. Show us what a dominant fox looks like or create a new creature that doesn't rip off Pokémon but fits in that universe. Just know that there is room for creativity here and when you finally get it right many will take notice. Feel good about having something that is unique to you.

I used to write stories on the side just to see what others thought of concepts floating around in my head. The only reason I write is to get an idea on what others think of these concepts. I only put a small amount of time into writing these so I used Yiffstar (Sofurry) as a test to see what would work and what wouldn't. Lately I've wanted to bring the more successful stories over to FA. If they are well received then I will probably write again and put more time and quality into future stories.

I've made sure to bring over my best (M/F) and (M/M) stories so that I have something for multiple audiences. I would highly appreciate feedback on these as they will determine if I write more in the future or if I just keep my ideas to myself. I'm more concerned about them being interesting rather than simply knowing if they are received as good or bad.

When I was 17 I wanted a Great Dane, it's difficult to express how badly. I ended up making well over $1000 with a good friend of mine flipping in game weapons in the game Ultima Online. I'm cutting this story way down, but I was able to both meet my friend/business partner in real life and buy a Great Dane puppy that I named Serenity.

When she was a puppy I would carry her around in a basket she was so small, I carried her whenever I would go so I could always watch her. She would run around and do her own thing, but when it was time to go she would hop back in the basket as we'd transition from room to room. I remember when I was a child my father would yell and beat our family dog, I'm proud to say that I taught Serenity everything she needed without ever hurting her or yelling. She would even sit in the shower with me calmly when it was time for her bath.

As she grew up she never really ever learned how big she was. Serenity was my dog, but "our" family dog now was Shadow, the Siberian Husky. The two were inseparable sisters and would whine and pace uneasily if ever separated. Just walking them individually was a huge chore. Serenity was small for a Great Dane (some would confuse her with a lab) but she was still a big dog. Friends of mine would joke she was a horse, but in her mind she was always tiny enough to fit in that basket, even when she was a full adult. She never understood how she appeared to others.

Serenity lived to be 11 years old. She didn't die of hip dysplasia like most of her breed and even had a couple extra years surviving a major surgery. In the end she was dying of cancer and as much as I dislike the false softness of the term "put to sleep" she died a week ago on Wednesday with my hand on her heart. I can't even write this out without tearing up, I loved her so much. I just wish I could have explained to her what was happening to her body, it's horrible for someone you love to have cancer but you can't tell them. I can't tell Shadow where her sister is or that she's never coming home.

I bring this up because there is so much in both my furry character and myself as a human being that she influenced. Without her there would be no "Fraust Dogger" character. I am glad I got to know her, but I miss her very badly. I wish more people got to see her the way I did, even friends of mine that didn't like animals could see something good in her.

This was the last picture of her and I together. The only time I even smoked around her, but she already had cancer, we just didn't know it yet.
http://i1120.photobucket.com/albums.....r/IMG_2663.jpg

There's nothing like having someone appreciate your natural scent. It can be on par with someone thinking you're highly intelligent or handsome. I just wish more people knew musk doesn't have to be something foul or unhygienic. I suppose it can be misunderstood when we live in a culture of deodorant and cologne, but a guy can be both clean and still naturally musky by taking a daily shower and wiping away a day's especially heavy sweat with a wet cloth. I know I can smell good without having to smell like something else.

This still seems to be a subject many are shy about but seek out very actively. I'm still fascinated by how big this "kink" is and how just about everyone I come across online and IRL is interested in it or very receptive toward it. I wish more people would talk about it so they didn't have to feel like they were alone and had to hide something so common. I know I've always tried to be open to discussing it with someone curious. How many of you have come to know me in the first place because of that fact?

I'm not entirely sure why, but lately I've been getting a new watcher either every day or every other day. This is especially strange for me since I haven't drawn anything in 3 years and I rarely ever post. Typically when I get a new watcher I will give them a greeting and ask them where they found me from so I can get some rough idea. Sometimes it can make for interesting conversation.

Those of you that have had a chance to get to know me are likely aware that I tend to be a very curious person. I've always enjoyed understanding how people work and why they do the things they do. If you could take a moment to let me know why you decide to keep me on your watch list, I'd really appreciate it. Maybe it'll give me some insight on what I should be doing more of.

Seems a few of you have noticed I've been poking my nose around  cigarfurs lately. I really like the idea of the group and have been trying to contribute. If you like me or you like cigars please show them some support by checking out my contributions below.

The story I gave them can be found here: http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/3616000/
The picture of me smoking is posted here: http://www.furaffinity.net/view/8324648/

If you're just interested in seeing more of what I look like IRL here are a few more cigar pictures that were taken for the group to choose from:
http://i1120.photobucket.com/albums.....r/IMG_2663.jpg
http://i1120.photobucket.com/albums.....r/IMG_2685.jpg
http://i1120.photobucket.com/albums.....r/IMG_2697.jpg
http://i1120.photobucket.com/albums.....r/IMG_2702.jpg

I've been wondering this for a while and I think there are two ways to look at it.

On one paw you've got our fandom of artists that are mostly underpaid as far as it being a career. They already draw nameless characters they would probably never draw again and could hardly care about. Now with character auctions they have a way to spin that in a commission and sell it to the highest bidder. This can be looked at as a great thing because those new to the fandom can get an instant commission or an alternate character without the wait. There's no pesky commissioner to slack on payments, flake out, or complain if something isn't drawn to their specifications. Basically it's win/win for the artist.

On the other paw is this good for the buyer? Why pay the price of a commission if you the buyer has absolutely no say over the drawing? Essentially you are paying for a completed picture that you could have a cheaper artist draw a close copy of for less than half the price with all the changes you want. It's morally better to buy the original, but most of the furs I know are always a step or two away from being broke. So, even if they like the idea, they may not actually do it. Is it really a good idea to pay for a completed picture when you can go out and get a custom one done for the same price?

I see this trend coming up more and more. Personally I thought it was a complete rip off, but then I see furs dropping over $100 on these character auctions for some artists on a regular basis. I guess if furs are willing to buy them there's no reason for artists not to sell them, but the whole concept seems very bizarre to me. I'd like to know what some others think, is this harmless, am I over thinking things?

You know you like anthros entirely too much when you go to this degree of effort.

So, I had a simple idea that I wanted to execute. I found out that there were all kinds of wonderful ways to mod Skyrim on the PC and I wanted to try playing the game using various mods. Two mods in particular gave primary or secondary sex characteristics to the existing werewolf model so that you theoretically have male and female werewolves in Skyrim. My goal was to have a male character beside a female NPC, Aela, both transformed and having the appropriate gender. However, I found that there were a large number of problems in the way.

(1.) I only own the Xbox 360 copy and did NOT want to buy a 2nd copy of Skyrim.
(2.) Nexus Mod Manager and it's community is very anti-piracy.
(4.) The male werewolf mod forces female werewolves to appear neutral.
(5.) The female werewolf mod forces male werewolves to appear neutral.
(5.) Werewolf followers (Like Aela and Farkas) refuse to transform outside of a scripted event.

I managed to torrent a pirated version of the game. I won't bother trying to justify it, the reasons are either obvious or they aren't. What I will say is that I'll be buying games like this for the PC from now on and Bethesda still got my $60, so take that how you will.

So, in order to run mods you need Nexus Mod manager. Some I got from curse ( http://www.curse.com ) but most of the mods, including the werewolves, were from Skyrim Nexus ( http://skyrim.nexusmods.com ). After making an account so I could see the "adult" stuff, I found the two essential mods.
http://skyrim.nexusmods.com/downloa.....le.php?id=4445
http://skyrim.nexusmods.com/downloa.....e.php?id=10989
Unfortunately they were made by two different people and the mods are incompatible with each other. If you use the male it makes the female a unic, and using the female makes the male a unic. I found a workaround by using an older version of the male werewolf that makes all werewolves male by default, then I toggled on the female mod so what would have been neutral/female actually gave me male/female.

This presented another problem. Mods like the female model that can be toggled on and off require Nexus Mod Manager to "run custom skyrim" which it refuses to do with a pirated copy. I found a bypass for this through SKSE. However, it also has it's own problems. I had to find an archive so I could use the original SKSE that works with the pirated Skyrim's original patch. ( http://skse.silverlock.org/download/archive/ ). Then it's just a matter of telling Nexus Mod Manager to run SKSE.

Now male and female werewolves function in game. Due to oversights in design, werewolf followers won't actually transform when you do a transformation. They just stay in human form and use weapons. To fix this I needed another mod ( http://skyrim.nexusmods.com/downloa.....e.php?id=11459 ) that allows you to trigger a werewolf transformation in any NPC follower via dialogue.

This is the end result: http://tinyurl.com/skyrimwolves

I'm a curious person and when things start to show a pattern I can't help but wonder things. I'm less than a month away from being 28 which will put me dangerously close to being in this fandom for 12 years. I've never had anything against the younger generation, but there are some very unusual qualities you guys have in common that I never completely understood and I simply would like to ask of you.

Why does your character have a weapon? Every time I see a picture of a furry character with a weapon there seems to be something around a 95% chance they barley got out of high school. I don't even see anything wrong with this but the two just go hand in hand so often I'm trying to figure out why. It's almost always video game or anime related but I'm not sure that the origin of what inspired the weapon really matters. It's just one of those things that's a dead giveaway about a person's age that never seems to fail.

Not every fur actually has a back story for their character, but when they do and they happen to be the younger of us, why do their parents always have to be dead? This is something a lot of Disney movies did to force a narrative of independence on a young character, but I still don't see what drives a younger fur to feel the need to do this. I think the bigger question might be why are the parents mentioned at all? Explaining what happened to my fictional parents when I meet someone new never even occurred to me when I was younger.

Now, I get why someone I just met recently would feel uncomfortable about this, but why is it that even furries I've known for years are afraid to have a conversation over the phone? Sometimes it feels like a phobia or something that invokes a sickening feeling. I've heard the words, "I'm just more comfortable with text." quite a few times by younger furs more than others. With this journal text is clearly better because I can organize my thoughts clearly and let it sit on my page for a while so I can get the opinions of new furs I come across on FA. However, that's not always the best option. Sometimes a conversation is really important or there isn't enough time available to write back and forth. Sometimes just being able to call someone is much easier. To absolutely never use that option under any circumstance when everyone has skype or a cell phone feels very restrictive.

These questions have been sitting with me for years now, so whether you can speak on your own behalf or you simply know the answers, please help me get some other ideas on why these things seem to keep popping up.

I feel like we, as a fandom, do not really understand what it is to be dominant. It seems like every time I read a story or comic it has someone passive fawning over a jerk, if not a complete and total asshole. Even for fantasy it is absolutely ridiculous. If a guy degrades someone verbally and has to physically harm someone he just met, that makes him pathetic with way too much to prove.

A dominant male doesn't have the need to prove anything, his presence alone displays his ability naturally. The way he carries himself, being able to look others in the eye, feeling confident and calm, etc. If you have to beat someone down in order to make yourself look big then you are attempting to earn a position you can not acquire naturally. That is weakness attempting to seem imposing, like a chihuahua yapping though a fence.

I am also not certain we understand what it means to be submissive as a fandom either. Laziness seems to overwhelm the other more desirable submissive traits. There's nothing wrong with wanting someone else to take charge, or having a desire to follow, but it can get to a point where you are expecting the other person to do absolutely everything. In a healthy exchange I imagine it as cooperative as playing fetch with your dog. I throw the ball where I want to when I want to, you chase it and bring it back so I can throw it again. Instead most exchanges feel as one-sided as playing fetch with a cat.