The Next Pony production company and I are looking to commission some
partials for the upcoming run of Cannibal! the Musical in November. We
are needing one each of horse, sheep and black cat costumes that are
durable enough for the wearer to use for a month-long show, (10+
performances) yet light enough that they can be worn while the performer
is dancing without getting in their way. We would prefer the costumes
all be made specifically for the performers wearing them, so we would
need some time set aside for getting their measurements.

I am hoping that maybe we can work out a sort of exchange. I'm thinking
either a donation or a reduced price on the costumes in exchange for
advertising your business in our program (which we estimate will be seen
by approximately 1500 people) and of course, tickets to see the show so
that you can see your work being brought to life on our stage.

Please contact me off list to work out the details.



Thanks,

~FreaKat >^.^<

I found this Meme, and I figured I would steal it. ^^

A - AVAILABLE: For play, yes. For mateship, already got that taken care of.

B - BIRTHDAY: 423

C - CRUSHING ON: irrelevant, Im polyamourous

D - DRINK YOU LAST HAD: Dr Pepper no ice

E - EASIEST PERSON TO TALK TO: Myself

F - FAVORITE SONG: Oh, tough choice but I have to go with http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wrP2hzVabmM

G - GUMMY: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=astISOttCQ0

H - HOMETOWN: Brush!, CO (yes, the city limits sign actually spells it with an exclamation point :P)

I - IN LOVE WITH:

J - JUGGLE: cant do it

K - KILLED SOMEONE: I did not. I am a cat, and therefore automatically innocent.

L - LONGEST CAR RIDE: So far, Denver to Seattle.

M - MILKSHAKE FLAVOR: mouse and catnip ;)

N - NUMBER OF SIBLINGS: 7

O - ONE WISH: To live as my fursona IRL

P - PERSON YOU CALLED LAST:

Q - QUOTE: "You're drunk!" "You're sexy" -Brian and Stewie

R - REASON TO SMILE:

S - SONG YOU LAST HEARD: Surfin Bird (against my will)

T - TIME YOU WOKE UP: 5:25 am

U- UMBRELLA: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D1ZYhVpdXbQ

V - VEGETABLE(S): Gimme the chili rellenos! :D

W - WORST HABIT: Drinking the milk directly out of the jug. (Sorry housemates...)

X - X-RAYS YOU'VE HAD: Leg, foot, hand, arm, teeth... all on separate occasions, thank goodness!

Y – YOYOS ARE: Little round toys on strings that go up and down, they are SOOOO Amazing!!!

Z - ZODIAC SIGN: Taurus

[x] you meow/bark to get attention
[x] you find pets toys amusing
[x] you get hyper by the smell of catnip
[x] you growl/hiss when someone gets too close to your food
[ ] you growl/hiss when someone you dislike is too close to you
[x] you purr/shake your leg when someone shows you affection
[ ] if someone tosses a ball, you chase it and brings it back
Total: 5

[x] you love to be scratched behind the ear
[x] you love fish/meat
[ ] you like to stick your head out trough the window of a moving car
[x] you like when people pet your head
[ ] people can make you stop doing stuff by hitting you on the nose with a newspaper
[ ] you think feathers are fun to play with
Total: 3

[ ] you sleep a lot during daytime
[ ] you enjoy scaring birds
[ ] you lick peoples faces to show you like them
[x] you bite people if they annoy you
[ ] you tend to steal food from your friends/family's plate when you have eaten all of yours
[x] milk or water is your favorite drink
Total: 2

[ ] you own a collar and you enjoy wearing it
[ ] you own a leash and enjoy wearing it
[x] you own animal ears/tail/paws or a fursuit
[x] you enjoy long walks in the park
[ ] you meow/bark when you see something you want
Total: 2

[x] you call your hands and feet "paws"
[x] you tilt your head when you do not understand what someone is talking about
[ ] you run to the door when someone mentions a walk
[x] you really enjoy cuddling
[x] you stretch your body and whimper a bit every morning when you wake up
[ ] you can wake up and go back to sleep right away after looking around
Total: 4

[ ] you have your favorite spot besides your bed where you like to sleep
[x] you meow or bark very often
[ ] you hide when you get scared
[x] you run to the door to see who it is every time someone comes in to the house
[ ] you like to chase flying insects and try to catch them with your bare hand
[ ] you tend to chew on stuff a lot
[ ] you like to do tricks to get a treat
Total: 2

[ ] you own a wearable item/tag with your name on it
[x] you refer to your self as an animal
[x] your username has something to do with animals
[ ] your e-mail has something to do with animals
[x] if you get a bleeding wound, you lick it to make it feel better
[x] you look for edible stuff often
Total: 4

[x] you often find yourself looking through the window for a long time
[x] you like to say hi to strangers
[x] you like to be petted when you have done something good
[ ] people think you act like a pet
[x] you growl/hiss at stuff you do not like
[ ] you like to eat grass
[x] if you get wet, you shake to get rid of the water
Total: 5

Final Total: 27


Now, take your score and multiply it with by two to get your final score.

I am 54% furry. Guess I need to work a little harder at it... :P

1) Who are you?
2) Are we friends?
3) When and how did we meet?
4) Would you kiss me?
5) Give me a nickname and explain why.
6) Describe me in 1 word.
7) What was your first impression of me?
8) Do you still think the same?
9) What reminds you of me?
10) If you could give me anything, what would it be?
11) How well do you know me?
12) Are you gonna put this in your journal and see what I say about you?
13) Would you meet up with me?

Stolen from


Where are you staying? - At my house, its only a 5 minute drive to the hotel.

What day are you getting there?
Friday evening because my boss is a jerk and wont give me that day off...

Who will you be with? - , ,

Do you do free art? - I guess so, if you reeeeeeeaaallly want my crappy 3rd grade level art...

Do you do trades? - Depends on what you have and what you want for it, i guess...

Do you do commissions? - Again, depends on what you want and if I can do it. And again, if you reeeeeeeaaallly want my crappy 3rd grade level art...

Do you do badges? - Badges? BADGES??? We don't NEEEED no stinking BADGES!!!! :-P

What is your gender? - Penis

How old are you? - 40

Are you taken? - Yes, but we share...

What suits will you have? - Damn, I WISH I had a fursuit!

Can I touch you? - Maybe, but try getting to know me a little 1st please...

Can I talk to you? - If you feel so compelled and feel you must... j/k yes I am very sociable. Please come and stimulate my brain!! >^.^<

Can I buy you lots of drinks? - Now who would say no to that, other than people who dont drink... but Im not one of them.

Can I give you lots of money? - Again, you dont have to twist my arm on that one. But I wont do any silly tricks for it....

Can I hug or snuggle with you? - Depends on my mood...

How tall are you?
6' 2"

You look pissed off, can I come up to you? I dont get pissed off very easily and even then can be civil to whoever the issue is not with, but still approach with caution. If I dont feel like talking about it, I will let you know.

Are you nice? - I think maybe a little TOO nice sometimes. So please don't take advantage.

Are you cliquey? - Fuck that noise.

Can I stalk you? - um... NO!!!

Do you have an artist table? - nope

Do you like parties? - Does the Pope shit in the woods? Um... I mean... Is a bear Catholic???

If i see you, how should i get your attention? Just shout "hey FREAK!!!" and I will turn around. Or run up behind me and pounce me. I think I might notice you THAT way...

Can I hang out with you? - I dunno. Most likely I would be ok with that....

How can I find you? - I am usually wearing raver pants with my kitty tail attached and a brown fedora hat with kitty ears on it. Maybe will have cat face painted on. http://www.furaffinity.net/view/1856851/

Love this commission from !!

When you rearrange the letters:

DORMITORY
becomes:
DIRTY ROOM

THE MORSE CODE
becomes:
HERE COME DOTS

SLOT MACHINES
becomes:
CASH LOST IN ME

ANIMOSITY
becomes:
IS NO AMITY

MOTHER-IN-LAW
becomes:
WOMAN HITLER

SNOOZE ALARMS!
becomes:
ALAS! NO MORE ZS

A DECIMAL POINT
becomes:
I'M A DOT IN PLACE

ELEVEN PLUS TWO
becomes:
TWELVE PLUS ONE

--
I don't get even, I get odder.

Stolen from  omegawolfie

If you have 00-10 ... write [I'm a goody-goody]
If you have 11-20 ... write [I'm still a goody-goody]
If you have 21-30 ... write [I'm average]
If you have 31-40 ... write [I'm a bad kid]
If you have 41-50 ... write [I'm a very bad influence]
If you have 51-60 ... write [I'm a horrible person]
If you have 61-70 ... write [I should be in jail]
If you have 71-80 ... write [I should be dead]
If you have 81-90 ... write [I got a ticket to Hell]

HAVE YOU...

[x] smoked
[x] consumed alcohol
[x] slept in the same bed with someone of the opposite sex
[x] slept in the same bed with someone of the same sex
[x] kissed someone of the same sex
[x] had sex
[x] had someone in your room other than family
[x] watched porn
[x] bought porn
[x] tried drugs

TOTAL SO FAR: 10

[x] taken painkillers
[ ] taken someone else's prescription medicine
[x] lied to your parents
[x] lied to a friend
[ ] snuck out of the house
[x] done something illegal
[x] felt hurt
[x] hurt someone
[ ] wished someone to die
[ ] seen someone die

TOTAL SO FAR: 16

[x] missed curfew
[x] stayed out all night
[ ] eaten a carton of ice cream by yourself
[ ] been to a therapist
[x] received a ticket
[ ] been to rehab
[x] dyed your hair
[x] been in an accident
[x] been to a club
[x] been to a bar

TOTAL SO FAR: 23

[x] been to a wild party
[ ] been to a Mardi Gras parade
[x] drank more than three alcoholic beverages in a night
[x] had a spring break in Florida
[x] sniffed anything (I assume this means drugs)
[x] wore black nail polish
[x] wore arm bands
[x] wore t-shirts with band names
[ ] listened to rap (I didn't like it, mind)
[ ] owned a 50 Cent CD

TOTAL SO FAR: 30

[x] dressed gothic
[ ] dressed girly
[x] dressed punk
[x] dressed grunge
[x] stole something
[ ] been too drunk to remember anything
[x] blacked out
[ ] fainted
[ ] had a crush on a neighbour

TOTAL SO FAR: 35

[x] had a crush on a friend
[x] been to a concert
[x] dry-humped someone; been dry humped
[x] been called a slut
[x] called someone a slut
[ ] installed speakers in a car
[ ] broken a mirror
[x] showered at someone of the opposites sex's house
[ ] brushed your teeth with someone else's toothbrush

TOTAL SO FAR: 41

[ ] considered Ludacris your favorite rapper
[x] seen an R-rated movie
[x] cruised the mall
[ ] skipped school
[ ] had surgery
[x] had an injury
[x] gone to court
[ ] walked out of a restaurant without paying/tipping
[x] caught something on fire
[ ] lied about your age

TOTAL SO FAR: 46

[x] owned/rented an apartment/house
[ ] broke the law in the police's presence
[x] made out with someone who had a GF/BF
[x] got in trouble with the police
[x] talked to a stranger
[x] hugged a stranger
[x] kissed a stranger
[ ] rode in the car with a stranger
[x] been harassed
[x] been verbally harassed

TOTAL SO FAR: 54

[x] met face-to-face with someone you met online
[x] stayed online for 5+ hours straight
[ ] talked on the phone for more than 4 hours straight
[x] watched TV for 5 hours straight
[x] been to a fair
[x] been called a bad influence
[ ] drank and drove
[x] prank-called someone
[x] laid on a couch with someone of the opposite sex
[x] cheated on a test

TOTAL SO FAR: 62

So, it would seem that:
I should be in jail

All you need to do is say something and I'll


1. Respond with something random about you.
2. Tell you which color you remind me of.
3. Tell you my first memory of you.
4. Tell you what animal you remind me of.
5. Ask you something I've always wondered about you.
6. Tell you my favorite thing about you.
7. Tell you my least favorite thing about you.
8. Challenge you to post this on your journal.

You are NOT ALLOWED to explain ANYTHING unless someone messages or comments you and asks. -- and believe me, the temptation to explain some of these will be overwhelming nothing is exactly as it seems.

Now, here's what you're supposed to do. . . Copy and paste this into your notes, delete my answers, type in your answers.

1. Been arrested? Couple of times
2. Kissed someone you didn't like? Yeh >->;
3. Slept in until 5 PM? Not for a long time
4. Ran a red light? yeah
5. Been suspended from school? no
6. Experienced love at first sight? yup!
7. Totaled your car in an accident? a while ago
8. Been fired from a job? yeah
9. Fired somebody? no
10. Sang karaoke? Yes
11. Pointed a gun at somebody? No
12. Done something you told yourself you wouldn't? Yes
13. Caught a snowflake on your tongue? Yes!
14. Kissed in the rain? yup
15. Had a close brush with death (your own)? Yes
16. Seen someone die? no
17. Played spin-the-bottle? yes
18. Smoked a cigar? Yes
19. Sat on a rooftop? Yes
20. Smuggled something into another country? no
21. Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on? nope
22. Broken a bone? one
23. Skipped school? never
24. Eaten a bug? bleh, no!! :P
25. Sleepwalked? yush
26. Walked a moonlit beach? Yes
27. Rode a motorcycle? yes
28. Dumped someone? yeah
29. Lied to avoid a ticket? yes
30. Ridden in a helicopter? no
31. Shaved your head? yes
32. Made your boyfriend/girlfriend cry? yes
33. Eaten snake? No O.o
34. Marched/Protested? yes
35. Had Mexican jumping beans for pets? yup!
36. Puked on amusement ride? yes :P
37. Seriously & intentionally boycotted something? yes
38. Been in a band? yup
39. Been on TV? Yes
40. Shot a gun? no
41. Skinny-dipped? yes
42. Gave someone stitches? yes
43. Ridden a surfboard? no
44. Drank straight from a liquor bottle? Yes
45. Had surgery? no
46. Streaked? yes
47. Taken by ambulance to hospital? yes
48. Passed out when NOT drinking? no
50. Donated Blood? Can't
51. Grabbed electric fence? no, duh!
52. Eaten alligator meat? no
53. Killed an animal when not hunting? do bugs count?
54. Snuck into a movie without paying? no
55. Written graffiti? no
56. Still love someone you shouldn't? idk
57. Been in handcuffs? yes.
58. Believe in love? yes
59. Sleep on a certain side of the bed? Yes
60. Entered someones house without their permission? no

...for new south park style icon!! >^.^<

Stolen from  omegawolfie


So you're watching me. I want to know 35 things about you. I don't care if we never talk, or if we already know everything about each other. Short and sweet is fine ... You're on my list, so I want to know you better! Be honest! Copy from here and then answer in a comment.


01) Are you currently in a serious relationship?
02) What was your dream growing up?
03) What talent do you wish you had?
04) If I bought you a drink, what would it be?
05) Favorite vegetable?
06) What was the last book you read?
07) What zodiac sign are you?
08) Any tattoos and/or piercings? Explain what/where.
09) Worst habit?
10) If you saw me walking down the street would you offer me a ride?
11) What is your favorite sport?
12) Do you have a pessimistic or optimistic attitude?
13) What would you do if you were stuck in an elevator with me?
14) Worst thing to ever happen to you?
15) Tell me one weird fact about you.
16) Do you have any pets?
17) What if I showed up at your house unexpectedly?
18) What was your first impression of me?
19) Do you think clowns are cute or scary?
20) If you could change one thing about how you look, what would it be?
21) Would you be my crime partner or my conscience?
22) What eye color do you have?
23) Ever been arrested?
24) Bottle or can soda?
25) If you won $10,000 today, what would you do with it?
26) What's your favorite place to hang out?
27) Do you believe in ghosts?
28) Favorite thing to do in your spare time?
29) Do you swear a lot?
30) Biggest pet peeve?
31) In one word, how would you describe yourself?
32) Do you believe/appreciate romance?
33) Favorite and least favorite food?
34) Do you believe in God?
35) Will you re-post this so I can fill it out and do the same for you?

Stolen from  DreadDenimPirate

1. If your fursona had to be a primate, it'd be...
orangutan

2. If your fursona had to be a feline, it'd be...
If I could stay a tabby cat, fine. If I had to pick a different feline, I think maybe a serval....

3. If your fursona had to be a canine, it'd be...
Probably something of a mutt, most likely one of those yappy little dogs that annoy everyone... :P

4. If your fursona had to be a hoofed animal, it'd be...
Probably some sort of show horse, like a Clydesdale or somethin... >.>

5. Cetacean?
Im gonna go with Narwhal...just because its the coolest answer Ive heard so far...

6. If your fursona had to be a rodent, it'd be...
definitely a ferret! :)

7. If your fursona had to be reptile, it'd be...
Most likely an iguana.

8. If your fursona had to be a marsupial, it'd be...
A koala

9. If your fursona had to be a fully aquatic animal, it'd be...
What else? A catfish!! :D

10. If your fursona had to be an amphibian animal it'd be...
A tiger salamander, cause I used to have one for a pet. Miss ya, Harley!!

11. If your fursona had to be an avian/bird, it'd be...
Eagle for sure. It's one of my animal or totems.

12. If your fursona had to be a creepy crawly, it'd be...
Firefly!

13. If your fursona had to be a real or unreal hybrid, it'd be...
A sphinx

14. If your fursona had to be a mythical creature, it'd be...
A Chesire cat.. :D

15. If your fursona had to be a Pokemon/Digimon , it'd be...
I guess Meowth, not very familiar with a lot of them :(

16. If your fursona had to be a vehicle, it'd be...
A landspeeder, cause Im such a goofy Star Wars geek..

17. If your fursona had to be an extinct animal, it'd be...
Saber Toothed Tiger!! :3

The Rules: This is fun to do. Just read the 'offence' and if you've done it, you owe that fine.
You don't have to confess your answers, just the amount of your fine.
NOTE: fines to be added once, not for how ever many times you have done it. And be honest.


Smoked weed -- $10
Did acid or pills -- $5
Ever had sex at church -- $25
Woke up in the morning and did not know the person who was next to you -- $40
Had sex with someone on MySpace/Facebook/Bebo/FA? etc -- $25
Had sex for money -- $100
Ever had sex with a Puerto Rican -- $20
Vandalized something -- $20
Had sex on your parents' bed -- $10
Beat up someone -- $20
Been jumped -- $10
Cross dressed -- $10
Given money to stripper -- $25
Been in love with a stripper -- $20
Kissed someone who's name you didn't know -- $0.10
Hit on some one of the same sex while at work -- $15
Ever drive and drank -- $20
Ever got drunk at work, or went to work while still drunk -- $50
Used toys while having sex -- $30
Got drunk, passed out and don't remember the night before -- $20
Went skinny dipping -- $5
Had sex in a pool -- $20
Kissed someone of the same sex -- $10
Had sex with someone of the same sex -- $20
Cheated on your significant other -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Cheated on your significant other with their relative or close friend -- $20
Done oral -- $5
Got oral -- $5
Done / got oral in a vehicle while it was moving -- $25
Stole something -- $10
Had sex with someone in jail -- $25
Made a nasty home video or took pictures -- $15
Had a threesome -- $50
Had sex in public -- $20
Been in the same room while someone was having sex --$25
Stole something worth over more than a hundred dollars-- $20
Had sex with someone 10 years older -- $20
Had sex with someone under the age accepted by rule of thumb (half your age plus 7) -- $25
Been in love with two people or more at the same time-- $50
Said you love someone but didn't mean it -- $25
Went streaking -- $5
Went streaking in broad daylight -- $15
Been arrested -- $5
Spent time in jail -- $15
Pissed in the pool -- $0.50
Played spin the bottle -- $5
Done something you regret -- $20
Had sex with your best friend -- $20
Had sex with someone you work with at work -- $25
Had anal sex -- $80
Lied to your mate -- $5
Lied to your mate about the sex being good -- $25


Tally it up and put it on your status as: "My Fine Is..." (nothing else) then repost.

1. What is your character's name?
FreaKat

2. What is your character's name in another language?
umm.. MonstrGato?

3. How old is he/she?
He's not sure...

4. What is your character's race/species?
Orange tabby cat

5. Do they have a crush?
I refuse to answer that on grounds that it may incriminate me >.>

6. Do they have many friends?
I do...

7. What planet is your character from?
Which one are we on again?

8. Does your character like to eat?
Too much... :P

9. What's his/her favorite food?
Shrimpies!!! >^.^<

10. What's his/her favorite drink?
um... *whispers* clamato...

11. Is your character annoying?
Who me?? NEVER!!! :D

13. Is your character loved?
I strongly believe so...

14. Is your character hated?
Not that I know of...

15. Is he/she emo/goth?
Ah HELLZ no xP

16. Is he/she straight, bisexual, or gay?
you guess :P

17. Is he/she a virgin?
wats a virgin? O.o

18. Name 3 hobbies
ums...yiffing, yiffing and more yiffing? xD

19. Is your character normal?
Define normal.

20. Is your character attractive?
I guess so.... *blush*

21. How does your character handle emotions?
Depends on the emotion and the timing...

22. Does your character have other forms?
He has an inner penguin, does that count?

23. Does your character overreact?
NEVER!!! I CANT BELIEVE I WAS ASKED THAT QUESTION!!! SHEEESH< THE NERVE OF SOME FURRIES THESE DAYS... *mumble mumble*

24. Is your character a criminal?
Im a cat, therefore innocent! >^.^<

25. Does your character go to school?
no

26. What's his/her IQ?
No idea!

27. Does your character have a disease/curse?
not that he is aware of....

28. Is your character dead?
definitely not! bleah!

29. Does your character have a family?
Happily yes, cause he's no longer a stray! ^^

30. Has he/she encountered any tragic times in life?
a few... >u.u<

31. What's the best time in your character's life?
Dunno, he has a very decent life overall, so far....

32. If you could name 1 friend, which would you relate to your character?
Damnit too hard to choose...cant i jsut pick them all?

33. Is your character single?
mated

34. Has he/she developed any relationships?
lots of friends, some intimate, others not. My mate being the most significant one, of course.

35. Does she/he have an element?
Earth

36. Do you role-play your character?
A bit yes ^^

37. Do you write about your character?
Not really.

38. Does your character have a bad temper at times?
RAAAAR!!! (translation: mew...).

39. Does your character get depressed?
Not really no.

40. What's your characters favorite animal?
CAT!!!

41. Does your character have any fears?
being completely alone for over-extended periods of time

42. Does your character have any weaknesses?
not gonna tell....

43. Does your character look up to anyone?
yes

44. Does your character like music?
Very much so

45. What's your character's favorite type of music?
Novelty, silly stuffs

46. Is he/she impatient?
next question, cmon I havent got all night...

47. What's something funny about your character?
his hat is permanently stuck to his head

48. Name 5 nicknames
FreaK, Frea, Kitty, Mr Kitty, Hey You!

49. Does your character curse?
yes.

50. This test is over, what does your character have to say?
"meow!"

stolen from

Where are you staying?
Main hotel baby! 1st FC for me and my mate EVAHHH!!! WOOOTTT!!!!

Who will you be with?
My mate Nyko
My cub Omega and his mate Red
My lil brudder  pandaparty
My good friend Phor
Everyfur else that I know from CO and Seattle who is going
(if i missed someone it's because i'm not sure if yer goin)

Do you do trades?
I would trade stuffs for art, but have no art to speak of that is tradable

What suits will you have?
probably none, though I am thinking about picking up some latex body paints...

What is your gender?
cock swinger (LOL, thanks Phor, had to steal that answer from ya... it was too good) xD

How old are you?
Old enough to know better and young enough not to care >.>

Can I touch you?
mmmaybe... if youre not too creepy. except Panda. he can touch me even if he is being creepy.. :P

Can I talk to you?
of course.

Can I buy you lots of drinks?
No, only a few...

Can I give you lots of money?
please do :D

Can I hug or snuggle with you?
i dunno yet. again mmmmaybe... if I am comfortable enough to hang out with you for an extended period of time, then you will have a better chance...

How tall are you?
6'3" or 4"... somethin like that...

You look pissed off out of suit can I come up to you?
uhm....sure

Are you nice?
Yeah, prolly too nice

Are you cliquey?
yes, but its only because Im horribly shy. Once Im introduced to new people, I tend to stray from my herd a bit, but I always go back to them and try to stay close to at least some of them as often as possible

Can I stalk you?
go away... *grrs* x_x

How long are you going?
thurs -mon

Do you have an artist table?
no

Do you like parties?
I DIS-like NON PARTIES!!! xD

If i see you, how should i get your attention?
Com'ere FreaKat....Here Kitty, kity kitty

MEME stolen from

Twas the night before Christmas,

And Geez it was neat,

The kids were both gone,

And my wife was in heat.

The doors were all bolted,

And the phone was off the hook,

It was time for some nooky,

By hook or by crook.

Momma in her teddy,

And I am in the nude,

Had just hit the bedroom

And reached for the lube.



When out on the lawn there arose such a cry,

That I lost my boner and poor momma went dry.

Up to the window I sprang like an elf,

Tore back the shade while she played with herself.



The moon on the crest of the snowman we’d built,

Showed a broom up his ass,

Clean up to the hilt.



When what to my wondering eyes should appear,

But a rusty old sleigh and eight mangy reindeer.



With a fat little driver,

Half out of his sled,

A sock in his ear,

And a bra on his head.



Sure as I’m speaking,

He was as high as a kite.



And he yelled to his team,

But it didn’t sound right.



Whoa shithead, whoa asshole, whoa stupid, whoa putz,

Either slow down this rig or ill cut off your nuts.



Look out for the lamp post,

And don’t hit the tree,

Quit shaking the sleigh,

Cause I gotta pee.



They cleared the old lamp post,

The tree got a rub,

Just as Santa leaned out,

And threw up on my shrub.



And then from the roof we heard such a clatter,

As each little reindeer now emptied his bladder.



I was donning my jacket to cover my ass,

When down the chimney Santa came with a crash.



His suit was all smelly with perfume galore,

He looked like a bum and he smelled like a whore.



“That was some brothel,” he said with a smile,

“The reindeer are pooped,” and I’ll just stay here awhile.



He walked to the kitchen, himself poured a drink,

Then whipped out his pecker and pissed in the sink.



I started to laugh, my wife smiled with glee,

The old boy was hung nearly down to his knee.



Back in the den, Santa reached in his sack,

But his toys were all gone,

And some new things were packed.



The first thing he found was a pair of false tits,

The next was a handgun with a penis that spits.



A box filled with condoms was Santa’s next find,

And six pair of panties, the edible kind.



A bra without nipples, a penis extension,

And several other things that I shouldn’t even mention.



A cock ring, a G-string, and all types of oil,

A dildo so long, it lay in a coil.



“This stuff ain’t for kids,”

Mrs. Santa will shit, so I’ll leave’em here,

And then I’ll split.



“He filled every stocking and then took his leave,”

With one tiny butt plug tucked under his sleeve.



He sprang to his sleigh, but his feet were like lead,

Thus he fell on his ass and broke wind instead.

In time he was seated, took the reins of his hitch,

Saying,

“Take me home Rudolph, this night’s been a bitch!”

The sleigh was near gone when we heard Santa shout,

“The best thing about sex is that it never wears out!”




stolen from  bprdagent

1.) Put your media player of choice on shuffle.
2.) List the first fifteen songs that come up (skipping titles like "Fugue in D Minor") and add "in my pants" to the end.
3.) Bold the ones that actually made you laugh out loud.

1. Give it 2 me in my pants
2. The impression that I get in my pants
3. Crying in my pants
4. First date in my pants
5. Sugar, sugar in my pants :)
6. Gimmee gimmee shock treatment in my pants :O (nuuuuuu!)
7. Sexual healing in my pants
8. Like a rolling stone in my pants (ouch...)
9. Personal Jesus in my pants
10. You & Me and the bottle makes three in my pants
11. Dueling pianos in my pants (ouch again!)
12. Mexican radio in my pants
13. Burnin love in my pants
14. Runaway train in my pants (eeep!)
15. Safety dance in my pants o-0

Stolen from  Sancuth

Take this meme, delete my answers and replace with your own, then tag someone/your friends/anybody/nobody! HAVE FUN!! :)


1. What's your favorite song that has lyrics? Waaay too many out there to decide

2. What's your favorite song that does not have lyrics? Probably the theme from Star Wars

3. Name a song that is/could be considered to be, your theme song: ?? Heehee, Stray Cat Strut - Stray Cats

4. Name a song that illustrates an important value or event in your life: Your Guardian Angel - Red Jumpsuit Apparatus

5. Name a song that gets you pumped up and ready for anything: Werewolves of London - Warren Zevon

6. Name the song that makes you the happiest when you hear it: too many to mention

7. Name your favorite love song: Tie between Your Guardian Angel - Red Jumpsuit Apparatus and Smile - Uncle Kracker

8. Name your favorite soundtrack and favorite song on there: Again, way too many out there

9. Name your favorite band and favorite song by them: Weird Al Yankovic, Everything You Know is Wrong

10. Name your favorite musical artist and favorite song by them: Same as #9

11. Name your favorite foreign song (non-english speaking): 99 Luft Ballons - Nena

actual Hair Color:
[ ] Brown - $100
[x] Blonde - $50
[ ] Black - $15
[ ] Bald - $5
[ ] Other-$75

50

Eye Color:
[ ] Brown - $1
[ ] Green - $75
[ ] Blue $50
[x] Hazel $100
[ ] Other - $15

150

Height:
[ ] Over 7' - $200
[ ] 6'8" to 7' - $175
[x] 6'0" to 6'7" - $150
[ ] 5'5" to 5'11" - $75
[ ]4'9" to 5'4" - $45
[ ] Under 4'9 - $45

300

Age:
[x] 31 to 40 - $100
[ ] 26 to 30 - $75
[ ] 21 to 25 - $50
[ ] 19 to 20 - $25
[ ] 0 to 18 - $100

400

Birth Order:
[ ] Twins or more than twins - $300
[ ]First Born - $300
[ ] Only Child - $250
[ ] second born - $150
[ ] Middle child-$100
[x] Last Born - $100
[ ] third born - $100
[ ] fourth born - $100
[ ] fifth born - $100

500

Drink?
[ ] No - $400
[ ] Only Holidays - $250
[x] Sometimes - $215
[ ] YES - $200
[ ] Only weekends500 - $350
[ ] Every other day - $50
[ ] Once a day - $15
[ ] I live from the bottle -$Bankrupt$

715

Vision?
[x] perfect vision -$300
[ ] need or have glasses/contacts but dont wear them - $200
[ ] No correction $100
[ ] Glasses $50
[ ] contacts $25
[ ] Surgical correction - $1

1015

Car(s) Color:
[ ] Pink - $2,000
[ ] Maroon - $800
[ ] Gold - $700
[ ] Gray - $600
[ ] Blue - $900
[ ] Obsdian - $800
[ ] White - $475
[ ] Red - $400
[ ] Green- $350
[ ] Silver $300
[ ] Purple- $250
[ ] Metallic - $200
[ ] Yellow - $100
[ ] Primer - $75
[ ] Tan- $20
[ ] Rusted - $15
[ ] No Car - $0
[x] Other - $ 50

1065

Shoe Size:
[x] 13+ - $300
[ ]12.5 to 13 - $250
[ ] 11 to 12 - $700
[ ] 7 to 10 - $500
[ ] Under 7- $550

1365

Favorite Color:
[ ] Black - $450
[ ] Green-$750
[ ] Red - $600
[ ] Yellow -$475
[ ] Brown - $50
[ ] Purple - $225
[ ] White - $400
[ ] Aqua - $350
[ ] Orange - $300
[x] Blue - $300
[ ] Pink - $100

1665

Did you use a calculator to add it all up?
[ ] Yes - $0
[x]no- $1000
[ ] on some - $550


Total : 2665

REPOST WITH TITLE:
"I cost $____ a night"

I feel like a cheap whore XD

Stolen from  kailsix

Doing this in rsponse to

if you post on this journal I'll do this for you:

1. I'll respond with something random about you.
2. I'll tell you which song or movie you remind me of.
3. I'll pick a flavor of jello to wrestle you in.
4. I'll say something that only makes sense to you and me.
5. I'll tell you my first memory of you.
6. I'll tell you what animal you remind me of.
7. I'll ask you something I've always wondered about you.
8. I'll tell you my favorite thing about you.
9. I'll tell you my least favorite thing about you. (if I can think of anything.)
10. If you play, you MUST post this on yours.

http://sendables.jibjab.com/view/dSkm2duE63UOHjZi

Heehee!! >^.^<

Stole this one from  Phorphaux just for the fun of doin the meme. Won't tag anyone, snag it and do it if you wanna!! >^.^<


RULES:
1. Put your iTunes, Windows Media Player, etc. on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS.
4. Tag 15 friends.
5. Everyone tagged has to do the same thing.
6. Have Fun


01) SOMEONE SAYS 'ARE YOU OKAY' YOU SAY?

Swinging on a Star

02) HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOURSELF?

Dreidel, Dreidel, Dreidel

03) WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?

Simple

04) HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?

All revved up with no place to go

05) WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?

Love My Way

06) WHAT'S YOUR MOTTO?

Earache My Eye

07) WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?

Tears at the Birthday Party

08) WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?

Zoot Suit Riot

9) WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?

Blackened

10) WHAT IS 2 + 2?

Everything About You

11) WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?

High Fidelity

12) WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?

Dont Let Me Down

13) WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?

Disconnected

14) WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?

Crimson and Clover

15) WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?

The Rock Show

16) WHAT SONG WILL PLAYED AT YOUR FUNERAL?

Photograph

17) WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?

Breathe

18) WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR?

Annie Im Not Your Daddy

19) WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?

Back Porch

20) WHAT DO YOU WANT RIGHT NOW?

Handsome Devil

21) WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?

Three Little Pigs

22) WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?

All Apologies

I stole this from  Jaiko but it has probably been around to more furs than I have!! :D

Sexual orientation:
Gay. My mate is bi, but I still have issues with a certain part of the female anatomy. Im workin on it, but for now I have to say gay, even though I have to admit I like boobies...

How often do you think about sex:
When DONT I think about sex? Im thinkin about it right now!!!!!

How often do you HAVE sex:
As often as I can, although lately it hasnt happened a whole lot, sigh!! *faps*

Cybersex? Phone sex?:
Never really had phone sex, cyber is ok I like to get others off with it, but I usually just use what happens for material for pawing after. Its kinda hard for me to type and paw at the same time. Doesnt mean it doesnt excite me, just usually is delayed reaction of sorts.

Casual sex:
My loving mate and I are in an open relationship, as long as we are honest with each other and let each other know what / who we're doing its usually ok. I like casual amongst friends but make sure they know that it is only play, and nothing more.

Sex toys and related fetish accessories:
My mate and I each own a zeta, but its really the only one Ive ever used...

Favorite body type:
Hard to say, Im more of a personality phile. If they are a good person its hard to get me not to play, unless they have something really horrible going on (ie poor hygiene, stinky, etc)

Monogamy or polygamy?:
Depending on the aspect. My mate is the only one I will do certain things with, the more intimate stuff is reserved for him, and I will only have one 'mate'. But as I said above, I am not opposed to having friends with benefits....

Underwear:
I am for the most part nudist, and when I am wearing clothes, undies usually arent included. But if I must, I prefer boxers over briefs.

Pornographic or erotic:
Yes, please....

How large is your porn collection?:
Lots and lots of furry artwork, not much in the way of video... mainly cause I cant find much of what I would be into. Have some left over dvds from my pre-furry life, but dont really ever watch em anymore...

Favorite hair color:
I really like blondes, but I also have a bit of a weakness for red-heads :P

Kissing or cuddling?:
Both

Most attractive nationality/ethnicity:
Depends on my mood....

Most attractive anthro/furry creature:
In order:
Feline
Canine
Fox
Dragon
other

Most interesting fetishes you've heard of:
Always been intrigued by the idea of fursuit or beastpaint sex. Though I have never had a chance to try it, if you have a suit or latex paints, Im down!

Respond to this journal and:

1- I'll answer with something random about you.

2- I'll dare you to try something

3- I'll say a color I associate with you.

4- I'll tell you something I like about you.

5- I'll tell you something I always remember about you / a first memory about you.

6- I'll tell you what animal you remind me of.

7- I'll ask you something I always wanted to ask you.

8- If I do this for you, you must put this in your journal.


GO!