This is a message for those who wonders why I've been gone for a while. I'm not writing this for sympathy I just wanna tel everybody I'm not dead...

I just have to say this out as straight as I possibly can, and it is kinda hard of me to say this...
This summer again I entered a deep depression followed by extreme anxiety this fall... It's not easy to figure out I'm struggling when you see me because I use all my energy to hide it...

I can't really describe why I'm depressed because it's multiple things that would pretty much fill up a huge journal of whining and I'm just not that kind of person.
But to cut it short I have huge anxiety issues when it comes to rejection. When I feel rejected by anyone it triggers me to just close myself into a hollow shell and I don't really know what to do or how to react, and this also tends to happen when I over think stuff and think I've been rejected...

I've almost stopped going out other than to my therapy, and I don't know why but it also seems like I avoid furmeets... the one thing that makes me happy, wearing fursuit and being on furmeets, just seem to scare me off because I'm too affraid to be rejected by those I meet, even though I know that most furs wouldn't do that to me...

I just wish I could get the strenght to go out again soon and meet people, but right now it feels like a distant dream, and I hope none of you stop talking to me just because I've become a little distant...

That's all I wanted to say and I hope everyone is doing better than I do

Stolen from  nifeline


Where are you staying?
Estrel

Means of transportation?
Airplane x3

Sharing a room with:
 chronowolf

What is your gender?
Boy-thingy

Relationship Status:
Single (cursed :P)

How old are you?
161 dog years

How tall are you?
194 cm

Which languages do you speak?
English, Norwegian and durkadurka

Where will you be most of the time during the day?
Eat, sleep, rave, repeat!

Who will you be with?
I hope to hang out with all my friends, but if you wanna look after me look for either  nifeline  varg or  chronowolf

Do you do free art?
What's art?

Do you do trades?
I don't think I've much to trade

Do you do commissions?
nope xD

Do you have prints/ CDs?
no x.x

What suit(s) will you have?
My Freke

Can I dance with you?
Yush please do :3

Can I touch you?
Ummmm maybe? o.o

Can I talk to you?
Sure I got two ears ^w^

Can I hug you?
Yes, I love hugs, especially <3

Can I take photos of you/with you?
yeah just send them to me afterwards <3

Can I buy you lots of drinks?
sure, but if you do I'll not be responsible if I suddenly end up on someone's lap

Do you drink Alcohol/Smoke?
I drink, but I'm only a party smoker x3

Can I give you lots of money?
Ummm as long you don't expect a lap dance, cuz then you should buy me a drink instead xD

Can I hug or snuggle with you?
Maybe o.o

Can we hang out?
Sure think xP

Are you nice?
I do try and some people say I'm nice, but I'm rather shy about this question xP

Other cons you may go to?
Where ever the money takes me

Attending any events?
Most likely

How can I find you at the con?
Ummm I'm tall, I mean like really tall, and I got tight pants and maybe act girly

Can we go out for a dinner?
If you pay xD

Are you buying art?
If I got money xP

What do I have to watch out for, when I am meeting you?
I can be super shy sometimes...

What is the best way to contact you?
Find my room or check out my facebook xP

May I kidnap you to my room?
Maybe if I'm already tipsy and you got booze

You look pretty tired, are you ok?
Zzzzzzz

Last time/last con/last meet/last chat we talked so much and now you forgot my name? Why???
Cuz I'm a stupid husky that have problems remembering names... I remember faces though :3

Will you tell me your room-number and can I surprise visit you?
Maybe x3

I have a personal question for the convention. May I ask you that?
I'm mostly open as a book

First I have to say sorry for not being online as much anymore... it's just I have so extremly much stuff to do with all the school work and stuff u.u

Ever since my ex broke up with me 5 months ago I've had a really hard time finding motivation to do things I both like to do and don't like to do.
I've pretty much felt like I have a huge infection after being totally heartbroken, and I say this now because I'm recovering.
And even though the recovery have been slow and I've met the wall a few time I'm starting to feel that I'm regaining back some of that energy I lost.

I'm still struggling to find motivation but I take is slow one day after another and it really works ^w^

I can't wait to be done with my finals and start my summer vecation with traveling to London with my dad and then ending my summer vecation with EF 20 <3
It's gonna be so much fun ^w^


Well with that said I have only B's and A's in school and I'm thinking if I should study History later but I'm not yet sure where.
I also wanna study fine art since I've been adventuring around painting pictures lately (I'm still working on a picture that were supposed to be for my boyfriend but he won't get it after breaking it up, and the break up also caused me to make some changes to it :P)


Don't forget me people and wish me luck for my finals in less than 2 months ^w^

I have come to a point where the entire world seems to be against me again and I'm emotionally exhausted...

I need to focus on school despite everything that has happened...

This will be the last message from me in a while I'm gonna hide underground for a while untill I'm over all my emotional shit <.<

My closest friends would know what this is all about and I think I'll just keep it that way untill I know more myself...

Hi!
Just thought I'd say hi and say that I'm ok x3
Even though money is running short on my side

I will make it for EF this year too =3
Hopefully with my boyfriend <3
I barely got any money at all... so I hope I'll atleast get some travel money for my birthday in early august

I have not had that much time for furry stuff until now, there has been too much going on in my life...
I went to Banzaicon in Norway earlier and will try to find and upload some pics soon x3

Right now my suit is in for last repairs and is hopefully done when I'm done with my exams xP


My Grandpa turned really sick now a week ago and I've really been focusing on that for the past week...
I really wish the best for him and that he gets healthy for his trip to Germany where he'll visit the place he was stationed right after the war...



Upcoming cons for me will be DesuCon in Norway and the furry convention Eurofurence ^w^


Other than that I'm gonna start school again this fall, instead of having private studies like I got now x3

First of all I just want to say sorry for not being active the past few months.... It have been really stressful with some drama I caused, exams and xmas shopping o.o


Second I wanna wish everyone a merry xmas and a happy new year ^^

now for some bad news and some really god news about me


I'm also very sorry for disappointing some furs for not coming to CFD after all... I just have to say I had to help someone after some drama I caused... and I spent pretty much all my money on that...
It helped though and nothing serious came out of the drama ^^





Some people say that when everything seems the darkest, good things will happen ^^
For me that really happened x3
The weekend I was supposed to be at Cologne FurDance I were sitting home with one of my best friends and all of a sudden I hear a contact request on Skype.
The request was from a wonderful and cute looking wolf/husky I had seen on FA just weeks before x3
Sooooo, we started chatting and found out we pretty much liked the same things like music, games, furry things and so on x3

I found out pretty fast that I really wanted to meet this person as soon as possible and he was just a 6 hour train trip away ^^
Just 2 weeks after we started chatting I took the train down to southern Norway and got to meet him and I have to say it was the best weekend of my life <3
On the Friday we just ate some food together and got to know each other in real life

On Saturday we went to the Zoo, which is the biggest zoo in Norway or at least most known x3
After the zoo we went back to his place and watched movies and Dr. Who x3
I felt so warm snuggling at his shoulder and before I got time to even think I found myself kissing him <3
I have kissed a few people the past years, but I must say nothing has felt like what I felt that night... It was just fantastic and I felt safe

Sunday was hard because I had to say bye... But just moments after I sat down on the bus I felt like I didn't wanna leave ever... I wanted to relive that weekend again and again...
I sat down on the restaurant we had been at onFriday and connected to the Wi-Fi there as I was waiting for my train and ended up asking if we should be boyfriends <3
Some people wondered why I was crying, but I said I was happy x3
In fact that weekend made me a really happy husky <3

I love you of all my heart and tailcurlyness my loving  Khelan



Other than that there is not much new x3

ohh except I had to dance Gangnam style as a part of my Physical education Exam xP and I passed with a grade 3

Ok it's time to write what I think about how EF 18 was, and lets just say I don't really wanna write this cuz of my bad Post Con Depression xP


What was best with Eurofurence this year?
Without doubt it was the fact that I did my very first fursuiting ever on EF this year! Woooo!
Really I have never felt so alive in my entire life, I must have been fursuiting atleast 5 hours a day.

The second best were to see all my friends again. I remember getting tears in my eyes the whole first day from all the hugs and all the friends I got to see again.
That combined with the fursuiting was beyond what I can describe!


Is there something I regret doing or not doing?
Kinda late for regrets now, but yeah...
I felt like I was to busy fursuiting to bond with new furs or those friends I already got... Note to self next year: hang with friends and their friends first, go fursuit with them second and get amazing fursuit cuddles as reward x3

I also regret making plans long before EF o.o
It's just not possible to plan such a big event xP It's to easy to forget something in all the excitement x3

Actually because of the fursuit and stuff this EF felt like it was my first con all over again x3 I really need to learn to control myself, not that control is one of my strongest sides xP


Fursuiting!!!
Ok, I'm a n00b when it comes to fursuiting, yet I still feel I did a good job sometimes x3

Just putting on the fursuit the first time was a nightmare... I was so excited and couldn't really figure out how to do it right. I'll get the video from first time I fursuited soon I hope so I can show you xP

Fursuiting role
Well first I didn't really know how I was going to enter my role, and I was pretty much too excited to think about my fursona role in the start. I just wanted to give everyone a BIG hug because I was so happy to finally have a fursuit myself!

After a while I started thinking about it, and I had to go deep into myself to find my true self again. My whole character is based on how I really am, and how I was long ago before all the shit in my life changed me to something I feel I am not...
Ok to make this description short I'll just say that I ended up going back to the personality I had when I was 10 mixed up with some of my good features now.

I'm a shy husky, but when I get excited I jump around. And if place a camera in front of me I will pose for you x3
I ended up having this one shy looking standard pose when I felt totally normal, and got more and more random as I got more excited x3

If you could see me standing with arms down looking right up or straight forward I was most likely just lost in myself x3
It usually happens to me all the time, the moment where I just fade away and drift into daydreaming or into my thoughts.
Believe me I did it alot in fursuit the first 2-3 days... Just reflecting over how amazing it was to be covered in fur!


The Convention Panels and events
There was so much interesting and funny things to attend to!
I wanted to split myself up and go at more than one thing at the same time x3
Yeah life is a bitch sometimes, there were so many interesting things happening at the same time that I wanted to see, but I knew I couldn't see it all...

And when it came to the fursuit dances, I really need to learn that I must not get worn out at the very beginning of the fursuit dance x3
I did like 4 dances and were so exhausted I didn't wanna go out on the dancefloor again xP
I also felt like I sucked at dancing in fursuit... Like really badly, or atleast until I started more seductive dances x3 (comment if you want more of those xP)


Funniest moment on EF
I must say I was a bit freaked out during the Big Blue Dance in the fursuit lounge.
I went into the fursuit lounge as I usually do when I was in fursuit and felt the urge for water came over me, but no this time I found my Croatian furfriends in the corner drinking wine. So I sat down and used my cute face to beg for some wine.
After I sat down and got my glass of wine one of them start talking about me being the tallest fursuiter at the con. And since I'm already a bit tipsy from what I had gotten in the bar earlier and now started to mix it with wine, I started ranting on in a ironic way to make everything sound funny.
The most wine I got, the louder I talked and continued ranting away about how afraid I am in the winter when slipping on the ice would mean a bad concussion for me.
Eventually some others also heard this and crowded our little corner as I kept ranting away while everyone was laughing.
It ended like this: my mind finally picked up that I were now being served wine and I was telling stories that made everyone laugh as I also were ranting away in a ironic way about all the bad shit in life (does this remind you of someone else?). I guess you can figure out yourself what I mean xP


Rumors!! (the really good one I heard from day one and how they changed xP) (and yeah I eventually hear and see everything)
Here I'm gonna confirm some rumors about me that I heard on the con x3

Apparently the first day there was a rumor that I was straight. - this is totally wrong... I must say it was funny that some girls came up to me and expected me to be straight though, really brave of them x3

I also heard I'm too cute to be a naughty fur. - Which is also wrong xP I'm mostly a shy creature, but if you get me started by flirting or some other things like cuddling and groping, I will eventually start teasing you back!

Two days later I heard someone that said I was a naughty fur. - which is true! But I wonder how they found out o.o I like to look cute and innocent xP

I've heard some few times that I can't be single, I'm too cute people say. - But believe it or not I AM! I'll write more about it further down I think xP


Some other updates!
I figured out I could make a huge Journal about everything going on right now!


I got Facebook now!
As you might know I just made a Facebook account for my furry stuff!
And I need help to figure out who all my friends are xP
www.facebook.com/freke.leilon


Fanpost, love letters and stalkers x3
I must say I was rather surprised when I actually got fanpost after being at EF with my fursuit. I love to hear that other people love my fursuit just as much as I do! <3

*blushes* I found a love letter in my inbox yesterday. And I must say it has been some time since I have gotten something like that~ It made me feel really warm inside last night when I read. Even though I don't know much about love when it comes to myself...

I really hope I don't get stalker messages as I did last year o.o


Me and love...
I haven't had much luck when it comes to love lately...
Mostly because I don't know how love really feels like x3
I know it sounds silly, but I need to feel it in real life to know that it is... I have had too many crushes over net that has just faded away after a while...

Anyhow I'm single and I know that some day someone would make me the happiest husky alive!
I just have to be patient and wait <3



And with this I say good bye for now, I'm going on a vacation to Rhodes in Greece this Sunday and I'll be gone for a week.
Thank you everyone for reading my journal! I love you all <3

I'm soon gonna post a Long long journal about how EF was but first I needed some rest so I joined facebook today to keep my mind occupied x3


Hi I just met you and this is crazy, but here's my profile - poke me maybe
www.facebook.com/freke.leilon

Stolen from  Keenora

Where are you staying?
Maritim hotel where everything happens x3

Early arrival/late departure?
Both!

Who will you be with?
I don't know x3 My plans is to stick around  Kyotofox or  Keenora if he's not too busy

What suit(s) will you have?
Hopefully I'll have my suit then. It's not done yet, but it shall be done before EF

Can I dance with you?
Last year I danced too much, but sure dance with me! x3

What is your gender?
I think I'm a male, atleast physically x3

How old are you?
21 (my birthday 3rd of August o.o)

How tall are you?
1.97m and yeah I know I'm tall plz don't rub it in my face D:
and watch out I'm not really sure how much I'll be able to see in a fursuit x3

Are you mated? in a relationship?
I'm single, well for now x3

Can I touch you?
Well yeah, sure o///o Just be careful about flirting/teasing me, because there is a Fullmoon going on and it's way too easy to turn me on, and there is no off button when I start teasing o///o If I have my fursuit plz don't be all filthy and dirty... It's pretty much white fur o.o

Can I talk to you?
I love getting new friends, so plz talk to me ^^

Can I hug you?
Hug me as much as you want as long you don't jump me or pounce me too hard... I'm not really know to be strong xP

Can I take photos of you/with you?
Do it!!!!!! I'm like still finding pictures of my big hat x3

Can I buy you lots of drinks?
Well I promised that I'm not gonna be as stupidly drunk as last year... You can buy me drinks, but you would also be responsible for making me stop drinking then o.o

Do you drink Alcohol/Smoke?
I do drink alcohol... last year I were drinking way too much... so I'll pretty much just allow myself to be tipsy this year ^^

Can I give you lots of money?
Lol yeah why not? but I do like gifts more than money x3 If you want to you can buy me a commission ^^

Can I hug or snuggle with you?
In fact last year I got no snuggles at all... atleast not as I remember x3 So I won't be happy before I get some this year ^^

Can we hang out?
Of course just Furnap me! (as in kidnap just that I'm a fur and not a kid)

Are you nice?
Well I try to be as nice I can ^^ plz bark at me if I'm not nice I will obey xP but most people say I'm nice ^^

Where will you be most of the time during the con?
All around the place xP I even tend to end up in places I shouldn't be xP

Other cons you may go to?
idk... plz tell me some cons that I have to join and I'll try my best to get there ^^

Who are you rooming with?
 kyotofox

Attending any events?
idk x3 I'll probably just stick around and try to have fun x3

How can I find you at the con?
I'm gonna take with me my big sparkle hat this year too so if I'm not in suit I'll wear the hat xP

Can we go out for a dinner?
I don't eat much... so plz take me to dinner somewhere so I don't end up starving o.o

Are you buying art?
Maybe ^^ I'll see if there is anything I want, maybe commissions xP

What do I have to watch out for, when I am meeting you?
Nothing special really o.o well I'm pretty high energy at cons x3 and ohh yeah as I said there is a Fullmoon this EF I might end up getting a bit naughty o///o

What is the best way to contact you?
Idk when I'm in suit, but when I'm not in suit you can use Whatsapp or Twitter I think x3 anyhow if I'm not in the loby, bar or the dancefloor I might be at someones room or my own room xP

May I kidnap you to my room?
Well if we are friends, sure ^^ if not you should introduce yourself and use some cheesy comment or something xP

You look pretty tired, are you ok?
I'm ok I'm used to be a hardcore gamer xP but if you see that I'm tired you can scratch me behind the ear and I'll just fall asleep in a instant

Last time/last con/last meet/last chat we talked so much and now you forgot my name? Why???
I'm really really bad with names unless I write them down or take pictures of your badge xP

Will you tell me your room-number and can I surprise visit you?
Ehhh you can visit me yeah, but I'd like to get a warning first xP

I have a personal question for the convention. May I ask you that?
I'm 100% open so ask me anything, well some things might be better to ask in private ;3

yays!

I just paid for flight and hotel now =3

Hmmm, I must admit this is going to be extremely exciting and scary as fuck x3
I have never traveled all by myself without anyone I know at all so that's gonna be the scary part xP

Well the exciting part will be meeting lots of furs again, but that's allso gonna be scary o.o
I'm used to being a shy invisible person so plz poke me or something to make me open up my real personality =3

And for god sake tell me to stop if you see me get too drunk xP
I still have memories from last EF of me being way too drunk...

Well there is allso a chance that I'll end up in a corner all by myself cuz I'm too shy or scared to talk to anybody, but hopefully I'll try to stick to people I get to know at EF



ohh and I'm gonna be in Cologne from Thursday the 10th until Tuesday the 15th this means I got some days with nothing to do o.o
Anyone that have any ideas of what to do? =P Or even better, anyone that wants to hang out with me Friday the 11th and Monday the 14th?



That was all from this Husky for now, stay tuned for more floofnes later

Ok I didn't get my suit as planed due to some problems, but I think it's done soon since there isn't much left to do =3

Well I was in Stavanger this holidays and met  demonreven and  ace-fox for the first time ^^
I also met  orcitheorca and I stayed at  kyotofox 's house ^^
 ace-fox and I went shopping and we found a Husky plushy!!!!! *snugs the husky* it is soooooooo cute!

 kyotofox  orcitheorca  demonreven and me went to Bergen to visit  chronowolf  aapur and  malstorm and together we made a movie!!!!!!!! (coming soon to a youtube near you!)

I ended up using a whole lot of money this holidays...
As a cause of my money problem I'm not sure if I can pay for ConFuzzled
Anyhow I don't wanna go on a furry con unless I got my fursuit o.o

I haven't been writeing here in a while, so I thought I would write a journal about how everything is right! ^^

I hav been through alot of stress this past months and I found out most of this stress came from School and made me do stupid things I wouldn't normally do... but that time is over cuz I quit school!(again)

No really I had to quit school.
I just found out that I were at school because I had to and not because I wanted to, and it made my grades go to hell pluss I got like really stressed from it.

Well after quiting school I needed something to do so I layed back and started daydreaming about what I want.
Ofcourse I want a job and ofcourse I want a mate and those kinds of things, but really is there any point in haveing those if I'm not happy about myself?
I ended up thinking alot about what I could do, what I really wanted in life.

In the middle of all this I have been going to a psychologist and a physiotherapists to find ways of how I can improve my life quality.
I have learned alot about how my body reacts to certain situations and how it acts to the food I eat.
6 liters of pepsi everyday is not healthy! 6 liters!
I found out that I need to change my diet totally, especially thinking about my skin when I finally get my fursuit (I'll get back to the fursuit thing) and I end up sweating out all this toxins in my body... my hyper sensivtive skin wouldn't be happy then and it would be impossible for me to suit... end of tale is good bye pepsi and wheat products.


Lets go over to something fluffy and furry x3
Well the new deadline for my fursuit is next friday (30th of march) since I'm going to visit  Kyotofox again and I'm going to meet  Orcitheorca  Demonreven  Ace-fox and many more!
I really can't wait!
Like each day is a day closer to fursuit and I'm really excited ^^
Check out  Nifeline if you want to find the WIP pics of my suit x3


I saved the best for last!
It is a big chance that I can afford going to Confuzzled!
I can't say for sure before I get back from the easter holidays.
And ehh I need to find a roomie and a way to get from the airport to the hotell (since I like to safe thing)
Anyhow there might be a chance that I'll be there ^^ just keep tuned x3

Sorry for leaveing FA for a while...
ok I was gone like what 2 weeks? xP
Well I made a real mess IRL that I needed to focus more on...

I'm still a bit angry with myself and really freaking confused of what to do next, but I never give up ^^

I promiss you what ever stupid thing I do or whatever stupid thing that happens to me I won't give up.
I got too many friends that I just can't give up on.
*looks down at a piece of fur he got*
and yeah I'm still waiting for that fursuit.

Confused? Me?
Yeah I'm freaking confused of how I possibly can be this stupid, but hey we all gotta be stupid sometimes to make others look smart or am I wrong?


I just wanted to tell everyone that I'm ok, and that I'm soon back at looking forward on life.

It's done!

Twelve days of Yiffnes
On the first day of Yiffmas
my true love gave to me,
a dildo and lube from BD.

On the second day of Yiffmas
my best friends gave to me,
two yiffsuits,
and a dildo and lube from BD.

On the trird day of Yiffmas
my best friends gave to me,
three hard spanks,
two yiffsuits,
and a dildo and lube from BD.

On the fourth day of Yiffmas
my other friends gave to me,
four latex sheets,
three hard spanks,
two yiffsuits,
and a dildo and lube from BD.

On the fifth day of Yiffmas
my closest gave to me,
five Yiff pictures,
four latex sheets,
three hard spanks,
two yiffsuits,
amd a dildo and lube from BD.

On the sixth day of Yiffmas
my biggest fans gave to me,
six foxes stripping,
five yiff pictures,
four latex sheets,
three hard spanks,
two yiffsuits,
and a dildo and lube from BD.

On the seventh day of Yiffmas
my true love gave to me,
seven huskies teasing,
six foxes stripping,
five yiff pictures,
four latex sheets,
three hard spanks,
two yiffsuits,
and a dildo and lube from BD.

On the eighth day of Yiffmas
my best friends gave to me,
eight lions humping,
seven huskies teasing,
six foxes stripping,
five yiff pictures,
four latex sheets,
three hard spanks,
two yiffsuits,
and a dildo and lube from BD.

On the ninth day of Yiffmas
my best friends gave to me,
nine furries yiffing,
eight lions humping,
seven huskies teasing,
six foxes stripping,
five yiff pictures,
four latex sheets,
three hard spanks,
two yiffsuits,
and a dildo and lube from BD.

On the tenth day of Yiffmas
my other friends gave to me,
ten tigers creaming,
nine furries yiffing,
eight lions humping,
seven huskies teasing,
six foxes stripping,
five yiff pictures,
four latex sheets,
three hard spanks,
two yiffsuits,
and a dildo and lube from BD.

On the eleventh day of Yiffmas
my followers gave to me,
eleven days a-cuddleing,
ten tigers creaming,
nine furries yiffing,
eight lions humping,
seven huskies teasing,
six foxes stripping,
five yiff pictures,
four latex sheets,
three hard spanks,
two yiffsuits,
and a dildo and lube from BD.

On the twelfth day of Yiffmas
the furry fandom gave to me
twelve days of yiffing,
eleven days a-cuddleing,
ten tigers creaming,
nine furries yiffing,
eight lions humping,
seven huskies teasing,
six foxes stripping,
five yiff pictures,
four latex sheets,
three hard spanks,
two yiffsuits,
and a dildo and lube from BD.



And don't forget to check my xmas card ;3
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/7096135/

I just wanted to wish everyone a fantastic xmas, and I hope all of my friends and followers are haveing some awsome holidays ^^

I'll not be home for newyear because I'll be at some friends at the west side of Norway so this might be the last chance for me to say happy new year too,mbut I will try to use my iPad on the newyears eve and give my new year greetings to you all then xP


Well I'm now pretty sure that I can afford EF18 now ^^
I might even afford to travel to some other con too, if I got time that is. If not I can allways use the money to travel to some furfriends out in Europe x3