FA+
Shop
Frogapus is BACK!
General | Posted 10 years agoI'm back, baby!
Keep an eye on my page, okay? Because I'm gonna be doing some neat stuff. I'm setting myself up a nice blag, breaking out some new art supplies, and I'll be reopening commissions in a day or two.
Stay tuned!
Keep an eye on my page, okay? Because I'm gonna be doing some neat stuff. I'm setting myself up a nice blag, breaking out some new art supplies, and I'll be reopening commissions in a day or two.
Stay tuned!
Support! ^_^
General | Posted 10 years agoI just want to thank everyone who's been supporting me. It's been kinda rough lately with the hormones and stress and what have you, but lots and lots of *hugs* from my online friends has kept me going.
I'm actually doing a lot better now. I'm making sure to get more physical activity--the endorphin boost really counters the blues for me--and I'm adjusting my hormone schedule for less dramatic highs and lows.
I'm still getting sad sometimes, but it's in small bursts and no longer overwhelming.
Thank you all for putting up with my moodiness!
I'm actually doing a lot better now. I'm making sure to get more physical activity--the endorphin boost really counters the blues for me--and I'm adjusting my hormone schedule for less dramatic highs and lows.
I'm still getting sad sometimes, but it's in small bursts and no longer overwhelming.
Thank you all for putting up with my moodiness!
Wearing Down
General | Posted 10 years agoI'm wearing down. Emotionally, spiritually, whatever.
Over the past year of hormones, I've been dealing with a rainbow of emotions, with newfound levels of depth to each one. I'm not just happy, I'm over the moon delighted on an emotional level, but still reserved in some other manner. I'm not just angry, I'm furious at someone, but still want their approval and hugs. I'm not just sad, I'm lonely and angry at myself for feeling lonely. Or I'm sad and depressed and longing for hugs. Or I'm bawling and crying my eyes red.
It's been mostly the latter for most of this year. Most days end with me crying, lonely, and lately, second-guessing transitioning. And I think that's just me scrabbling for a way--any way--to stop feeling so sad.
Because I don't want to stop transitioning, but this is starting to get overwhelming. I had a last ditch mechanism which was a complete emotional shut off, but my friends convinced me that it wasn't healthy. It might have been, but ... now I don't know what to do. I'm sadder than ever and every day it wears me down a little more.
Over the past year of hormones, I've been dealing with a rainbow of emotions, with newfound levels of depth to each one. I'm not just happy, I'm over the moon delighted on an emotional level, but still reserved in some other manner. I'm not just angry, I'm furious at someone, but still want their approval and hugs. I'm not just sad, I'm lonely and angry at myself for feeling lonely. Or I'm sad and depressed and longing for hugs. Or I'm bawling and crying my eyes red.
It's been mostly the latter for most of this year. Most days end with me crying, lonely, and lately, second-guessing transitioning. And I think that's just me scrabbling for a way--any way--to stop feeling so sad.
Because I don't want to stop transitioning, but this is starting to get overwhelming. I had a last ditch mechanism which was a complete emotional shut off, but my friends convinced me that it wasn't healthy. It might have been, but ... now I don't know what to do. I'm sadder than ever and every day it wears me down a little more.
Froggy is under construction
General | Posted 10 years agoGoing through a lot of stuff and trying to rebuild a lot of of paradigms. Please excuse the mess.
Frustrations
General | Posted 11 years agoUgh! This has been such a shit week. Between ongoing issues with my hormones and nonstop financial stress, the last thing I needed was meanspirited needling from someone close to me.
FUCK! Fucking FUCK!
FUCK! Fucking FUCK!
Anyone seen Kyorg?
General | Posted 11 years agoOh my my favorite artists moved accounts, and I nuked the journals before I realized what I was doing.
Would anyone happen to know where kyorg's new account is? She did the most darling faun and monkey girls.
Would anyone happen to know where kyorg's new account is? She did the most darling faun and monkey girls.
Rain and Clothes and Sleep
General | Posted 11 years agoCan't sleep. There's rain pouring down outside. Midnight's come and gone.
Can't sleep.
I cobbled together my rudimentary hair and makeup skills and went out in public as a girl a week ago. Between the hormones, my clothes, and the relatively early hour, I didn't see many people looking at me.
I thought I'd feel nervous or anxious or feel some kind of titillating rush of doing something "wrong."
But no. It felt nice--it felt perfectly fine. It felt normal.
Can't sleep.
Busy work week followed. Stress, schedules, didn't have a chance to go out again until earlier today. Family at home, no way to leave en femme, so I went out today in guy clothes.
It felt gross. I felt uncomfortable and icky the whole time. I hated people seeing me. No--I hated people seeing me and thinking that this was how I looked.
The whole time, something in me wanted to scream at everyone else in the store, "This isn't really me! I don't look like this! I'm not ... this ..."
Not this.
I don't know if I can keep presenting as a guy. I'm not really pretty enough to be a convincing woman. My voice is all kinds of off.
I don't know if I'm good enough to be a woman yet. But I'm not sure how much longer I can take being a man.
...
Can't sleep.
Can't sleep.
I cobbled together my rudimentary hair and makeup skills and went out in public as a girl a week ago. Between the hormones, my clothes, and the relatively early hour, I didn't see many people looking at me.
I thought I'd feel nervous or anxious or feel some kind of titillating rush of doing something "wrong."
But no. It felt nice--it felt perfectly fine. It felt normal.
Can't sleep.
Busy work week followed. Stress, schedules, didn't have a chance to go out again until earlier today. Family at home, no way to leave en femme, so I went out today in guy clothes.
It felt gross. I felt uncomfortable and icky the whole time. I hated people seeing me. No--I hated people seeing me and thinking that this was how I looked.
The whole time, something in me wanted to scream at everyone else in the store, "This isn't really me! I don't look like this! I'm not ... this ..."
Not this.
I don't know if I can keep presenting as a guy. I'm not really pretty enough to be a convincing woman. My voice is all kinds of off.
I don't know if I'm good enough to be a woman yet. But I'm not sure how much longer I can take being a man.
...
Can't sleep.
No porn??? (Transition update)
General | Posted 11 years agoSo funny point in the whole transitioning thing.
My turn ons and methods to turn myself on are changing a LOT. My wiring is shifting, as well as the things I'm into.
So in addition to really, REALLY wanting a big, burly guy wrapped around me, and wanting hands touching me all over . . .
umm . . .
Wh-where was I?
Right, so. Um, porn! My entire library of porn, saved over years, and years, and YEARS is now mostly useless. I don't respond, mentally, or physically to the stuff I have saved, and I'm having trouble finding anything that does work for me.
Anyone know of porn with dominant guys giving lots of touches and foreplay and romances to little trans girls?
It's for . . . research purposes. >.<\>
My turn ons and methods to turn myself on are changing a LOT. My wiring is shifting, as well as the things I'm into.
So in addition to really, REALLY wanting a big, burly guy wrapped around me, and wanting hands touching me all over . . .
umm . . .
Wh-where was I?
Right, so. Um, porn! My entire library of porn, saved over years, and years, and YEARS is now mostly useless. I don't respond, mentally, or physically to the stuff I have saved, and I'm having trouble finding anything that does work for me.
Anyone know of porn with dominant guys giving lots of touches and foreplay and romances to little trans girls?
It's for . . . research purposes. >.<\>
Transitioning Moments
General | Posted 11 years agoI'm never going to forget the first time I met a guy for a "date." Trans-friendly site, so I'm dolled up in my pictures, but not ready to go out in public looking like anything other than a guy.
So there I am, sitting at a table, fiddling with my phone, when I spot him. I flag him down, and I get to watch the parade of expressions across his face of realization, then disappointment, then wiping the previous away as fast as possible.
The conversation was fine, pleasant enough, I suppose. But I'm never going to forget that look of disappointment in me without my cute outfits, flattering angles, and wig.
Disappointment. Yeah, that's about right.
So there I am, sitting at a table, fiddling with my phone, when I spot him. I flag him down, and I get to watch the parade of expressions across his face of realization, then disappointment, then wiping the previous away as fast as possible.
The conversation was fine, pleasant enough, I suppose. But I'm never going to forget that look of disappointment in me without my cute outfits, flattering angles, and wig.
Disappointment. Yeah, that's about right.
No Libido = Difficulty Drawing
General | Posted 11 years agoSo one of the side effects of HRT is that libido often responds unpredictably. It was swinging back and forth for the first couple of months, but now it's dead. As in, null libido for the past two months.
That's frustrating enough on its own, but it has another, unexpected and unwelcome side effect.
It's really hard to draw sexy things with no sexy drive. Like, I can't get a sense of what looks sexy, because it's all the same in that regard.
I'm gonna keep trying at these commissions, but unless something perks up, I might have to refund some. I'm not comfortable with drawing "meh" art and charging people for it.
That's frustrating enough on its own, but it has another, unexpected and unwelcome side effect.
It's really hard to draw sexy things with no sexy drive. Like, I can't get a sense of what looks sexy, because it's all the same in that regard.
I'm gonna keep trying at these commissions, but unless something perks up, I might have to refund some. I'm not comfortable with drawing "meh" art and charging people for it.
Pause on Commissions
General | Posted 11 years agoThere was a bit of a medical concern on the part of my dog. He's fine, but it put a bit of a dent in my commission pace. Expect to see me posting them again tomorrow morning! ^_^
Commission Status and Update!
General | Posted 11 years agoWoot! Commissions have kicked off! You guys are SO awesome! Those medical bills should be kicked soon if interest stays this high!
Do you like frog girls? Of course you do! First commission is done: http://www.furaffinity.net/view/13965193/
Second commission, a duo-character one is done. If you like gay dragon-on-fat-mouse art, check it out!
Coming up next:
Mizziness
Joudas
VicksHB
Echoen
transliterary
Interested in a commission of your own? Note me here on FA!
$15 - Starting price for a single character
+$10 for each additional character
Oh, and
brown_wantholf is at it again! Coloring my art! http://badgengar.tumblr.com/post/91.....m-and-i-wanted
Do you like frog girls? Of course you do! First commission is done: http://www.furaffinity.net/view/13965193/
Second commission, a duo-character one is done. If you like gay dragon-on-fat-mouse art, check it out!
Coming up next:
Mizziness
Joudas
VicksHB
Echoen
transliteraryInterested in a commission of your own? Note me here on FA!
$15 - Starting price for a single character
+$10 for each additional character
Oh, and
brown_wantholf is at it again! Coloring my art! http://badgengar.tumblr.com/post/91.....m-and-i-wantedTransgenderism in a Numbered List (A Primer)
General | Posted 11 years agoSo in the midst of an internet argument (you know how those go,) the arguer stopped and asked for more information. BTW, that's an honest-to-goodness classy move for anyone in any situation.
So I ended up trying to write a condensed explanation of transgenderism. I'd never done it before, and it was challenging and forced me to look at some concepts I'd never paid overmuch attention to. I . . . honestly don't know if I got it right. I think it applies to me, but I'm actually kind of curious to have other people take a look--particularly other trans folks--does it cover your situation?
(Bear in mind that this is all from my perspective. If I'm completely, totally off base, let me know in the comments.)
*****
SEX AND GENDER
1.) The biological Sex of a person is (except in a small percentage of the population) an A or B concept assigned at conception. XY or XX, Male or Female. (Note that these terms apply to species in general, not just humans, because they are scientific terms.)
2.) Gender is a social construction (a social pattern) that a society agrees on. Man or Woman, Boy or Girl. (Note that these terms are generally applied only to humans, as they include social standards as well.)
3.) In most societies, a person is taught by parents/the society around them that their Gender must match their Sex. And thus there are numerous Gender roles and "expected behaviors." IN many cultures, it's something to the effect of men should be strong/tough, women should be nurturing, etc.
4.) It's important to note that Gender is an arbitrary construct, there's no genetic code that says that men are better at barbecuing, but there does exist a general agreement throughout that culture for that gender role (whether or not you believe that men actually are better at grilling, you'll find the concept easily recognized if not confirmed by a society at large.)
5.) Gender often includes a lot of things that a person is "allowed" to do by the norms of society. 'Men shouldn't wear dresses.' 'Girls play with dolls.' 'Boys don't cry.' "Ladies should raise the kids." And these norms, flawed as they are, affect a LOT of real world concepts. Lower payscales for women, can be seen as these gender concepts having real world effects: "Women don't work as hard as men."
TRANSGENDERISM
6.) One of the ideas behind transgenderism is that many people who have grown up with one gender associate more with the other gender, and feel that this gender is better suited for them. Since Gender is an arbitrary concept, in an ideal world, the easiest thing to do would simply be to declare yourself that gender and life would go on.
7.) The problem is that the association between Male=Man, and Female=Woman is so strongly cemented in most societies, that one simply CAN'T declare that they belong to the other gender without meeting a SIGNIFICANT amount of backlash from their entire society. Except for areas and societies where the gender structures are less rigid, a person who looks Male is seen as a Man, and a person who looks Female is seen as a Woman.
8.) The problem goes further in that the resistance to Male=Woman or Female=Man doesn't just exist in the world around a person, it's internal as well. A quick example of this is to draw a circle and tell yourself that it's a square. You can say "square" as much as you want, but you'll have a hard time convincing yourself that it's a square, the same exists if you were to point at a person who appeared male and tell yourself that that person is a Woman. It's an association we learn from the point at which we can speak--try pointing to an apparently male construction worker and asking a child if that person is a Man or Woman. (BTW This is an OVERLY simplified explanation of the situation.)
9.) The equation of Male=Man and Female=Woman are very OLD concepts (in many cultures, they're built into the language,) and they can't be easily swept out of a society or even an individual's mind, forcing it against a society often results in harassment, physical violence, and in far too many cases, death. Similarly, trying to force it within a person's mind has its own problems, and example of which might be GID--Gender Identity Disorder--is a common term that pops up in discussions about transgenderism. Furthermore, there is a HIGH rate of depression and suicide among transgendered individuals.
TRANSITIONING
10.) The reconciliation of being Male, being assigned a Man role and wanting to be a Woman, or vice-versa, is NOT easily resolved. For many people Sex and Gender are inextricably bound, as is the case in society at large (which has a doubled effect as human beings often judge themselves by society's standards.) For some people, changing themselves physically to match their self-identified Gender is the best resolution. Some are comfortable adding feminine or masculine traits to themselves to settle themselves closer to a Gender they feel comfortable with, others feel a need to change their sex on a biological level to better match their own inner perception of their 'correct' sex and gender.
This is a VERY superficial look at the situation. I barely touched on GID. I didn't mention androgyny, or asexuality (which would open up an even larger discussion on sexuality.) It doesn't apply to everyone, and everyone sees their own situation differently. For some transgendered individuals, I may have gotten it mostly right, for others, I'm absolutely, completely wrong on every point. I And I think that's okay, because I think creating hard definitions for things (like gender) can be problematic.
TL;DR: Transpeople are people that are unhappy with their current sex/gender combination and are working towards a situation that works better for them.
*****
Did I get it about right? I'm actually really interested in feedback. Obviously, this is meant just as a primer, a quick intro to transgenderism, and I left out a LOT, but in that context, is there anything I SHOULD have covered?
So I ended up trying to write a condensed explanation of transgenderism. I'd never done it before, and it was challenging and forced me to look at some concepts I'd never paid overmuch attention to. I . . . honestly don't know if I got it right. I think it applies to me, but I'm actually kind of curious to have other people take a look--particularly other trans folks--does it cover your situation?
(Bear in mind that this is all from my perspective. If I'm completely, totally off base, let me know in the comments.)
*****
SEX AND GENDER
1.) The biological Sex of a person is (except in a small percentage of the population) an A or B concept assigned at conception. XY or XX, Male or Female. (Note that these terms apply to species in general, not just humans, because they are scientific terms.)
2.) Gender is a social construction (a social pattern) that a society agrees on. Man or Woman, Boy or Girl. (Note that these terms are generally applied only to humans, as they include social standards as well.)
3.) In most societies, a person is taught by parents/the society around them that their Gender must match their Sex. And thus there are numerous Gender roles and "expected behaviors." IN many cultures, it's something to the effect of men should be strong/tough, women should be nurturing, etc.
4.) It's important to note that Gender is an arbitrary construct, there's no genetic code that says that men are better at barbecuing, but there does exist a general agreement throughout that culture for that gender role (whether or not you believe that men actually are better at grilling, you'll find the concept easily recognized if not confirmed by a society at large.)
5.) Gender often includes a lot of things that a person is "allowed" to do by the norms of society. 'Men shouldn't wear dresses.' 'Girls play with dolls.' 'Boys don't cry.' "Ladies should raise the kids." And these norms, flawed as they are, affect a LOT of real world concepts. Lower payscales for women, can be seen as these gender concepts having real world effects: "Women don't work as hard as men."
TRANSGENDERISM
6.) One of the ideas behind transgenderism is that many people who have grown up with one gender associate more with the other gender, and feel that this gender is better suited for them. Since Gender is an arbitrary concept, in an ideal world, the easiest thing to do would simply be to declare yourself that gender and life would go on.
7.) The problem is that the association between Male=Man, and Female=Woman is so strongly cemented in most societies, that one simply CAN'T declare that they belong to the other gender without meeting a SIGNIFICANT amount of backlash from their entire society. Except for areas and societies where the gender structures are less rigid, a person who looks Male is seen as a Man, and a person who looks Female is seen as a Woman.
8.) The problem goes further in that the resistance to Male=Woman or Female=Man doesn't just exist in the world around a person, it's internal as well. A quick example of this is to draw a circle and tell yourself that it's a square. You can say "square" as much as you want, but you'll have a hard time convincing yourself that it's a square, the same exists if you were to point at a person who appeared male and tell yourself that that person is a Woman. It's an association we learn from the point at which we can speak--try pointing to an apparently male construction worker and asking a child if that person is a Man or Woman. (BTW This is an OVERLY simplified explanation of the situation.)
9.) The equation of Male=Man and Female=Woman are very OLD concepts (in many cultures, they're built into the language,) and they can't be easily swept out of a society or even an individual's mind, forcing it against a society often results in harassment, physical violence, and in far too many cases, death. Similarly, trying to force it within a person's mind has its own problems, and example of which might be GID--Gender Identity Disorder--is a common term that pops up in discussions about transgenderism. Furthermore, there is a HIGH rate of depression and suicide among transgendered individuals.
TRANSITIONING
10.) The reconciliation of being Male, being assigned a Man role and wanting to be a Woman, or vice-versa, is NOT easily resolved. For many people Sex and Gender are inextricably bound, as is the case in society at large (which has a doubled effect as human beings often judge themselves by society's standards.) For some people, changing themselves physically to match their self-identified Gender is the best resolution. Some are comfortable adding feminine or masculine traits to themselves to settle themselves closer to a Gender they feel comfortable with, others feel a need to change their sex on a biological level to better match their own inner perception of their 'correct' sex and gender.
This is a VERY superficial look at the situation. I barely touched on GID. I didn't mention androgyny, or asexuality (which would open up an even larger discussion on sexuality.) It doesn't apply to everyone, and everyone sees their own situation differently. For some transgendered individuals, I may have gotten it mostly right, for others, I'm absolutely, completely wrong on every point. I And I think that's okay, because I think creating hard definitions for things (like gender) can be problematic.
TL;DR: Transpeople are people that are unhappy with their current sex/gender combination and are working towards a situation that works better for them.
*****
Did I get it about right? I'm actually really interested in feedback. Obviously, this is meant just as a primer, a quick intro to transgenderism, and I left out a LOT, but in that context, is there anything I SHOULD have covered?
Help a Friend get some BOOBS!
General | Posted 11 years agoThere's a fundraiser going on over at Fenoxo's page for 
Sinarra she's working on her feminine body and building up funds to get some breasts. It's a really cool idea--you can drop donations for terribly sexy things to happen to the D&D party as they marathon through the weekend. (They might be on a sleep break right now.)
Check it out here:
http://www.fenoxo.com/dd-for-boobs-going-on-now/
As an additional bonus, if you donate, let Sinarra know through the links provided, and I'll draw you up a mini picture/doodle as a bonus!
Go check it out!
Sinarra she's working on her feminine body and building up funds to get some breasts. It's a really cool idea--you can drop donations for terribly sexy things to happen to the D&D party as they marathon through the weekend. (They might be on a sleep break right now.)Check it out here:
http://www.fenoxo.com/dd-for-boobs-going-on-now/
As an additional bonus, if you donate, let Sinarra know through the links provided, and I'll draw you up a mini picture/doodle as a bonus!
Go check it out!
Commission Updates!
General | Posted 11 years agoUgh, my room is a mess. I'm cleaning up as I go, working on commissions whenever I have some clear space.
Also, brown_wantholf is hard at work coloring art! Check out his work on my frog girl! http://badgengar.tumblr.com/post/87.....-lady-but-with
Or his colorization of my recent Pachyderm Pop commission
http://badgengar.tumblr.com/post/87.....bed-cause-fuck
Ongoing:
1.
ivoryhammer
Completed:
Echoen http://www.furaffinity.net/view/13589721/
werewolfjedi5 http://www.furaffinity.net/view/13649345/
mattprower08 http://www.furaffinity.net/view/13693566/
Also,
brown_wantholf is hard at work coloring art! Check out his work on my frog girl! http://badgengar.tumblr.com/post/87.....-lady-but-withOr his colorization of my recent Pachyderm Pop commission
http://badgengar.tumblr.com/post/87.....bed-cause-fuck
Ongoing:
1.
ivoryhammerCompleted:
Echoen http://www.furaffinity.net/view/13589721/
werewolfjedi5 http://www.furaffinity.net/view/13649345/
mattprower08 http://www.furaffinity.net/view/13693566/Commission Status and Colors
General | Posted 11 years agoHi all!
So Brown_wantholf colored one of my pics of Heqet, the frog girl. He scoured the smut in the Eggs on the Lawn picture http://www.furaffinity.net/view/9794286/ and sourced the colors from there and put together something really wonderful!
You can see it here! http://badgengar.tumblr.com/post/87.....og-girl-i-need
Also, still plugging away at commissions. I needs the money to buy myself pretty clothes for the ongoing transition.
Full Slots
1. werewolfjedi5
2. mattprower08
3. ivoryhammer
Completed:
Echoen http://www.furaffinity.net/view/13589721/
So
Brown_wantholf colored one of my pics of Heqet, the frog girl. He scoured the smut in the Eggs on the Lawn picture http://www.furaffinity.net/view/9794286/ and sourced the colors from there and put together something really wonderful!You can see it here! http://badgengar.tumblr.com/post/87.....og-girl-i-need
Also, still plugging away at commissions. I needs the money to buy myself pretty clothes for the ongoing transition.
Full Slots
1.
werewolfjedi52.
mattprower083.
ivoryhammerCompleted:
Echoen http://www.furaffinity.net/view/13589721/Princess (CoC Character Concept) Doodle!
General | Posted 11 years ago
aldergames drew a little picture of Princess--my trap doe CoC idea--in the bottom right of this doodle! http://www.furaffinity.net/view/13578729/YAAAAAY!!
(I'm ridiculously easy to please, apparently.)
MANY thanks to
Gedan for suggesting it during an art stream.Commissions for Clothes?
General | Posted 11 years agoSo as many of you know, I'm transitioning. And as I'm slowly moving from mtf, I'm updating various things about me, like my hair, face, and wardrobe.
Even over time, it's kind of a pricey endeavor. And given that summer is kind of the lean months for me, I'm looking for new avenues of revenue. =3
With that said, would people be up for commissions? If I opened up, let's say 3 commissions at $15 each, would anyone be interested? Pencil drawings of single characters only. Nothing too fancy, if that's okay with you all.
I just wanna buy myself a skirt. ^_^
Full Slots
1. werewolfjedi5
2. Echoen
3.
matthewprower08
Even over time, it's kind of a pricey endeavor. And given that summer is kind of the lean months for me, I'm looking for new avenues of revenue. =3
With that said, would people be up for commissions? If I opened up, let's say 3 commissions at $15 each, would anyone be interested? Pencil drawings of single characters only. Nothing too fancy, if that's okay with you all.
I just wanna buy myself a skirt. ^_^
Full Slots
1.
werewolfjedi52.
Echoen3.
matthewprower08Hormone Slog
General | Posted 11 years agoUgggggh.
Hormones have me sluggish and headachy today. I get these every so often, and it's usually right before some kind of big change in attitude, mood, or body.
Here's hoping for a surge in breast growth.
And while I welcome the change, the feel right now is ugh.
***UPDATE***
Okay, apologies if it's TMI, but I may have been experiencing some kind of PMS-equivalent as the hormones adjust my body chemistry. A friend mentioned a similar experience, so I marked it on my calendar to see if it happens again. My scientific curiosity has been aroused.
Other things were aroused as well. (TMI again) A long session of arousal and eventual fapping REALLY helped out.
Hormones have me sluggish and headachy today. I get these every so often, and it's usually right before some kind of big change in attitude, mood, or body.
Here's hoping for a surge in breast growth.
And while I welcome the change, the feel right now is ugh.
***UPDATE***
Okay, apologies if it's TMI, but I may have been experiencing some kind of PMS-equivalent as the hormones adjust my body chemistry. A friend mentioned a similar experience, so I marked it on my calendar to see if it happens again. My scientific curiosity has been aroused.
Other things were aroused as well. (TMI again) A long session of arousal and eventual fapping REALLY helped out.
Maesterolorin colored my art!
General | Posted 12 years agoCheck it out!
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/12714904/
Maesterolorin spent an ungodly amount of time coloring in my CoC Naga picture from ages ago, and it's AMAZING.
He put over a hundred hours of work into it and it shows! I love when people color my art, and i love when they do an awesome job of it--so, of course, I love this!
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/12714904/
Maesterolorin spent an ungodly amount of time coloring in my CoC Naga picture from ages ago, and it's AMAZING.He put over a hundred hours of work into it and it shows! I love when people color my art, and i love when they do an awesome job of it--so, of course, I love this!
On hold
General | Posted 12 years agoAfter my last, panicked post, I've taken fairly ill. So I'm a bit out of commission (pun deliriously intended.)
$15 Pencil Pin-Up Commissions (3 Slots)
General | Posted 12 years agoI'm back! I'm also behind on my student loans!
I've got some payments to make as soon as possible (I mistimed and misplanned a trip), and to that end, I'm opening up a few commission slots.
I'm doing them three at a time, so I can knock them out in an orderly fashion, then open up a new batch. If you miss a spot on one round, you'll definitely have a chance to grab it on the next.
I'm away from a scanner, so while I'll be working on all commissions, and happy to send photo-updates, decent scans will all go live some time around January 3.
How's that sound? Who's up for a $15 pencil pinup?
Slots:
1.)
2.)
3.)
I've got some payments to make as soon as possible (I mistimed and misplanned a trip), and to that end, I'm opening up a few commission slots.
I'm doing them three at a time, so I can knock them out in an orderly fashion, then open up a new batch. If you miss a spot on one round, you'll definitely have a chance to grab it on the next.
I'm away from a scanner, so while I'll be working on all commissions, and happy to send photo-updates, decent scans will all go live some time around January 3.
How's that sound? Who's up for a $15 pencil pinup?
Slots:
1.)
2.)
3.)
(D&D) He Came in Like A . . .
General | Posted 12 years agoSo I occasionally make new spells for my players as they progress through games. And I definitely modify existing parts of pre-made games. Case in point: my players are playing through Paizo's Rise of the Runelords, and they ran into an existing character Barl Breakbones. I thought the original, brooding giant exile was a little cliche, so my Barl was a blend of Futurama's Hedonismbot and DBZ Abridged's Mr. Popo.
So he's still evil, but a bit more wacky and much more depraved. One of the custom spells he used was the following. I was really happy with how it turned out, and wanted to share it with any nerds interested.
Wrecking Barl
School conjuration [earth]; Level sorcerer/wizard 5; Domain earth 5
CASTING
Casting Time 1 full round action
Components V, S, M (a pound of mineral components)
EFFECT
Range long (400 ft. + 40 ft./level)
Area 10-ft./level diameter.
Duration instantaneous
Saving Throw Reflex Partial (see text); Spell Resistance no
DESCRIPTION
Wrecking Barl summons a massive boulder, crudely hewn in the shape of an obese, leering giant. This boulder covers an area of 10 cubic feet per caster level, and weighs 2,000 lbs/caster level. The boulder is roughly spherical, and has a hardness of 10, and 100 hit points per caster level. The boulder must be summoned into an area with enough space to contain it or the spell fails (though a spellcaster may opt to cast the spell at a lower level to “fit” it.)
If summoned overhead, the boulder immediately crashes down to earth, dealing 1d8/level points of nonmagical bludgeoning damage to any creatures and objects in the area. Flying creatures get +4 to this save. A successful save negates the bludgeoning damage and moves the creature just outside of the boulder’s space. Any creature within 50 feet of the boulder’s impact must make an additional reflex save or fall prone.
For each 100 feet the boulder falls before hitting a target, increase the damage of the boulder by one dice type, but reflex save by 4.
The boulder itself is not magical and does not disappear at the duration of the spell.
So he's still evil, but a bit more wacky and much more depraved. One of the custom spells he used was the following. I was really happy with how it turned out, and wanted to share it with any nerds interested.
Wrecking Barl
School conjuration [earth]; Level sorcerer/wizard 5; Domain earth 5
CASTING
Casting Time 1 full round action
Components V, S, M (a pound of mineral components)
EFFECT
Range long (400 ft. + 40 ft./level)
Area 10-ft./level diameter.
Duration instantaneous
Saving Throw Reflex Partial (see text); Spell Resistance no
DESCRIPTION
Wrecking Barl summons a massive boulder, crudely hewn in the shape of an obese, leering giant. This boulder covers an area of 10 cubic feet per caster level, and weighs 2,000 lbs/caster level. The boulder is roughly spherical, and has a hardness of 10, and 100 hit points per caster level. The boulder must be summoned into an area with enough space to contain it or the spell fails (though a spellcaster may opt to cast the spell at a lower level to “fit” it.)
If summoned overhead, the boulder immediately crashes down to earth, dealing 1d8/level points of nonmagical bludgeoning damage to any creatures and objects in the area. Flying creatures get +4 to this save. A successful save negates the bludgeoning damage and moves the creature just outside of the boulder’s space. Any creature within 50 feet of the boulder’s impact must make an additional reflex save or fall prone.
For each 100 feet the boulder falls before hitting a target, increase the damage of the boulder by one dice type, but reflex save by 4.
The boulder itself is not magical and does not disappear at the duration of the spell.
Stood Up
General | Posted 12 years agoBleh, crappy mood tonight. Got stood up for the second time in a row. >P
Hormones, Round 2! Fight!
General | Posted 12 years agoWent in for my first injection of hormones after my long hiatus.
The hiatus was originally because I wanted to lose some weight, which eventually snowballed into a long process of fixing my fucked-up biochemistry. (10 years of being a vegetarian incorrectly will mess you up majorly.)
And while I haven't lost much weight, I feel I have a better grip on weight loss, and am now (slowly) seeing the appropriate benefits of exercise and slightly-decreased food intake. Plus, my brain works a lot better now, primarily due to the normalization of iron in my system.
While ideally, I would lose 30 pounds first, and then return to the hormones, I was getting antsy and neurotic about not transitioning. I'm a lot happier just to be moving on this path again.
Here's hoping that the hormones (and anti-androgens) don't completely undo all the mental stability I've gained over the past few months.
The hiatus was originally because I wanted to lose some weight, which eventually snowballed into a long process of fixing my fucked-up biochemistry. (10 years of being a vegetarian incorrectly will mess you up majorly.)
And while I haven't lost much weight, I feel I have a better grip on weight loss, and am now (slowly) seeing the appropriate benefits of exercise and slightly-decreased food intake. Plus, my brain works a lot better now, primarily due to the normalization of iron in my system.
While ideally, I would lose 30 pounds first, and then return to the hormones, I was getting antsy and neurotic about not transitioning. I'm a lot happier just to be moving on this path again.
Here's hoping that the hormones (and anti-androgens) don't completely undo all the mental stability I've gained over the past few months.
