Some quick updates on my little world.

Trying to get back up to speed on the comic. It's been more of a challenge than I expected mostly due to some exhaustion and general lack of focus. It's not that I'm not excited to work on the comic again, I'm just having some difficulty putting pen to tablet. Hopefully it passes.

Struggling a bit with the whole separation thing but gradually finding my footing again. The financial aspect has been the most challenging -- trying to find ways to cut corners and save as much money as possible. I'm doing this for a few reasons. One -- I'm down to a single household income to cover the bills. Two -- I have legal fees I'll need to cover. Finally -- I want to save up money to do more traveling. The good news is I work a commissioned job on Saturdays (Weight Watchers) and needless to say this is a very busy time of year. It helps fill the coffers somewhat. I should also get some money back from taxes this year that will help a bit. Still, I'm facing 3000+ in legal fees for the separation, divorce and transfer of property. That's not counting the money I need to pay for my ex's share of the house and of course the fact that I no longer have his contribution towards the bills.

Then there's the emotional struggles. I was in a 14 year relationship and I killed it. Worse, it's not that I don't love my ex. If that were the case, this would have been a lot easier emotionally. But I do love him. I will always love him. The issue is that we grew apart and there were some underlying problems (that I won't speak of here) that made it impossible for me to want to continue down this road with him. It still breaks my heart. I went through a whole cycle of emotions Saturday evening while getting groceries -- from regret and guilt over the separation to anger that it had to end and then to grief.

The biggest positive is that I've met friends. Artist friends. Furry friends. GLBT friends. This is something I have never had before. I met a number of them at MAGFest and I've come to care a great deal for them -- more than I expected. It has kept my mind off of other things.

I spent some time before MAGFest flailing a bit emotionally -- looking for anything to fill the void. Since MAGFest, I've found some degree of stability. Having these friends has given me the strength to keep myself off of the market for the time being. It's not something I'm frankly emotionally ready for anyway. I have become better friends with someone who is also not looking to be on the market. It's been nice, fun, and relaxing to have a good friendship with someone with similar tastes and yet doesn't want to pursue anything. I'd date them in a minute if the opportunity came up but I really enjoy the friendship. I think it's what I need right now. I've met other friends too all with great personalities and interests and all with more in common with me than I had hoped. It's given me more emotional outlets than what I have locally and outlets that provide things my local friends don't. They complement my local circle of friends really well.

I don't think I'm in the headspace to date and oddly enough I don't think I'll ever be in the headspace to marry again. I've developed some trust issues -- both in others and in my own ability to make the right logical decision and ignore my heart. Having GLBT/Furry/Artistic friends to talk to, joke with and lean on without feeling any pressure that there's an immediate romantic connotation is wonderful.

The only remaining downside to all of this is the my looming birthday. I turn 40 this year. That number has never seemed so terrifying. If there was one thing that might push me into doing something stupid, it's that. The midlife crisis. The sense that after 40, my odds of finding someone will drop considerably. It shouldn't be terrifying, but it is.

I may need to look into doing some commissions. I'm already looking at selling a bunch of my stuff -- action figures, games, books, etc. Car cost me $600 yesterday to fix up and I am looking at $3000-$5000 in legal fees from my separation (for the paperwork, transfer of mortgage, divorce papers).

Blarg.

If you've been wanting some Frostclaw Art, keep posted. Once I get caught up on comics I'll likely post commission information.

MAGFest was such a blast! LOVED everyone I met!

Thank you!

https://youtu.be/KwjoIwTEcss

In the midst of all of this other crap, I have met some wonderful people who I now have gotten to the point that I would safely consider them friends. One of these individuals has provided me with what I can only describe as one of the more unique friendships I've had.

It's weird to say, but I'm excited at the prospects and the unique things these people are brigning into my life these days.

So that's a positive :)

So in an unusual display of odd timing I managed to make a connection with someone that I've honestly never had before. It's been a good, surprisingly rewarding friendship that seemingly popped up out of nowhere. It has helped distract me and it leaves me feeling like things will one day be fine again. It's also a friendship that would honestly be qualified as "unique" among my already pretty large circle of friends. It's nice to have someone with some shared interests in art among other things.

Here's to better tomorrows.

On a tangential note, Space Pawdyssey may see some gaps in the coming few weeks as I spend time coping with the separation and working towards piecing things together and moving on with my life. My time and focus may be scattered and I've chewed through my lead of finished comics. I'll try to keep things on schedule but if one or two get missed, that will be why.

So last night, after 9 good years of marriage and a few extra of being together, I told my husband that I wanted a separation. It wasn't an easy decision and it was the result of considerable though and issues that had been repeating and unresolved for some time.

That said, it sucks.

I love my husband. I always will. I'm simply not in love. I'm not invested in the relationship anymore and I haven't been in a while. It breaks my heart to break his. I'm shattering his entire world while on a quest for my own happiness. It feels so selfish.

There's a long standing issue that I've struggled with that I feel I cannot reconcile. It's the one big hurdle that no amount of counseling or talk or therapy will ever get me past.

This is a shitty time of year to hurt someone so much, but after coming to the realization that I *had* to leave, I had no ability to hold off. Doing so would simply result in me having an emotional outburst. Instead of a calm, compassionate discussion it would be daggers and poison.

I will get better.
He will get better.
We will just do so separately.

This. Fucking. Year.

Well, that happened.

My grandmother passed away last Wednesday morning. I'll miss her terribly. I performed the eulogy at the funeral and was proud to do so.

Still, my life isn't done being turned upside down.

I've been having some issues in my personal life that all recently come to a head -- things I've been ignoring because I didn't want to admit they were happening around me. I've been miserable as a result.

Bleh.

I’m probably going to push my Patreon a bit more in the new year as I get ready to print some comics. I’ll likely also rework the tiers and offer long-time patrons a copy of the comic in lieu of the preview comic from the second tier.

If anyone is interested in being a patron, any amount will get you early views of my comics (usually 1-2 weeks as that is the buffer I like to maintain). Once family stuff subsides, you’ll likely see more art there from me and not just specific Space Pawdyssey stuff.

https://www.patreon.com/spacepawdyssey

Staying with Nan at the hospital for a bit so no streaming in the near future. Gotta shade Monday's comic but the two after are done so I do have a little bit of a lead still. I'll need them. Once the 21st hits I'll be on vacation and I can get caught up again.

I won't be streaming for the remainder of the week. I have company coming down this weekend and between my grandmother and family visiting I won't have much time for art.

Thankfully I have four comics done (well, three and one requiring only shading) so this should not cause any delays in Space Pawdyssey comics.

I currently have two family members in the hospital - both in very bad shape. My grandmother is battling cancer while my brother-in-law was hospitalized with head trauma after an ATV accident.

On the subject of the latter, I've received word that there is long term damage that will take years to recover from.

As for the former, I received word an hour ago that they will be moving my grandmother to palative care.

I'm devastated to be sure, but I'm finding ways to cope. That said, I have no idea what this will mean for the comic over the near term. I do have a four comic lead at present just in case, but there may be gaps or delays in publication.

Added bonus - I found out my husband works Christmas Day, 7am to 7pm.

This year, man...

Toby wears boxers.
The question is, what kind of boxers would he wear? What would be printed on them?

This is surprisingly relevant to an upcoming comic.

I really do need to draw myself a decent avatar.

For now though, an image of a bashful Toby from an upcoming comic is a nice change of pace.

I don't know a lot of you. I know some of you are currently upset, scared, etc. I wish I could be there for you to comfort you and try to take your mind off of things. I wish I could help.

For now though please have strength. Persevere. Know that others like myself are thinking of you today.

Streaming for a bit
http://picarto.tv/frostclaw

Sweet jeebus, if I hadn't purchased a Cintiq a few months ago I'd be seriously saving pennies for the Surface Studio. On the flip side, this thing should nudge Apple and Wacom both into getting their shit in gear making for better products down the road.

I have been rethinking the scripts for the planed ending to the first volume of Space Pawdyssey. I honestly didn’t like how I had ended things. So much was left unresolved and the ending seemed so bleak. Felix and co end up in a very bad place. It was angst ridden. It left things unresolved. Worse, chasing down the unresolved pieces would be time consuming and require an overly complicated narrative to work through.

Instead, I’ve altered the ending somewhat. I need to get all of the players more involved but the ending puts a nice bow on the first volume. If it were to end there, everyone would be satisfied. This also frees up a lot more story opportunity for comics afterwards. It frees me up to explore different things I want to touch on - little stories that I think will be more fun, funny, touching and all of that good stuff. It also gives me room to work with another plot thread that started early in this volume and will come to a head in the second volume.

Besides - the story is supposed to showcase hope and perseverance. If I keep knocking these guys down again and again, it sends the wrong message.

*I’m* happier with the new plan. It completely breaks my ideas for the second volume but instead leaves me with significantly more possibility for small scale, relatable stories that I think will better serve the comic, the readers and myself.

I keep thinking about things I want to touch on – Toby’s people and the fact he comes from a respected noble house, Lex’s father, Rowan’s father, Felix’s family as a whole, Connor’s old ranger buddies. These are nice character based events I can tackle as nice little stories. All of these would get weighed down by complications of the original ending.

That said, the first volume will likely be a bit longer. I keep adding in new scenes. Frankly, I'm fine with that. Now that the characters have all intersected, I feel like I can take my time. It finally feels like a single comic and a single story and not two comics running in parallel.

Space Pawdyssey is my way of telling people "You're not alone."

Looking to get Space Pawdyssey #1 printed -- collecting around the first 40 or so comics. That said, I'm struggling a bit to find a print option that isn't going to price my comic out of the realm of affordability.

There's a local publishing group that have offered, but I find the quality of their binding and print to be lackluster. I want something that looks like a professional comic book.

Has anyone used Ka-Blam? What's the quality like? The struggle for me there is USD and shipping/duty.

Also looking at a shop a couple hours away that did a great job with Brittle Hill. Glossy paper, great binding job.

I had printed 50 copies of a Space Pawdyssey preview comic for advertising purposes -- 16 pages and sold for $6 Canadian. The printing price was almost $5, leaving a meager profit. I wansn't as fussed with the non-glossy paper, but the print quality and the binding job were spot on. A 40 page comic though would be prohibitively expensive through them.

Space Pawdyssey #40 won't be done for another 5 weeks, so I do have time, but I'm struggling for options.

Working on #28 -- approaching #30 soon! So exciting!

Connor is coming out really well in the comics he's in. I'm pretty pleased with the characters. I'm pretty pleased with all of them. I'm reworking some upcoming scripts to give Rowan more time too. I found Felix was doing way too much -- including some things outside of his engineer role -- that would easily translate to Rowan and put a wonderful spin on things in the process. The change already took one comic's script and split it into two comics that are both so much stronger than the original.

Doing these comics... has been such a weird thing. I don't have a huge readership compared to mainstream comics -- not by a stretch -- but I have a pretty loyal following. It's a following that is far larger than what I had anticipated.

I don't get piles and piles of feedback but the stuff I do get is wonderful. I scour the comments sections of each site I post these on (FA, Reddit, Facebook, Tumblr, Twitter and the main website) for new comments after each post. It's always fun to see people engaged in the plot.

Super exciting for someone who is just cutting his teeth on creating webcomics and just getting back into art again. It's amazing when I look at my work and consider how rough the edges are but despite that people still find something to like.

Thanks everyone!

Also -- there's totally a blaring little plot egg in Space Pawdyssey #27.

The next comic is Rowan and Felix focused but after that we get a couple of Connor comics.

I’m liking Connor. I like that he’s sarcastic. I like he has the potential to be a bit of a prick too. The Ambassador’s design came out better than expected.

So, upcoming comics:

#27 is Felix/Rowan focused, primarily Rowan
#28 is Connor
#29 is Connor
#30 is Toby (with a little Connor/Lex)
#31 is Lex/Rowan!!
#32 is Connor/Rowan/Felix
#33 is Connor/Rowan/Felix

So, as you can see, we’re going to very soon see characters intermingle. Yes, comics are planned way ahead and 30 more beyond this point are scripted. #30 though is the point where the streams officially (finally) cross. #31 has Lex and Rowan in the same room. #32 is the point at which all of the characters except Toby will be aboard the same ship.

Poor Toby gets abandoned for a bit, but there will be some fun little side stories with him doing as bachelors do when no one else is around. He's also going to be the first character to touch down on Nexus -- the world where he spent time in a refugee camp.

After reviewing the script for the remaining inktober comics, I can't find a way to fit this in so I thought I'd add it here for fun.

During their time at the camp, Toby hits on Lex. He misreads things, hits on Lex and Lex recoils in surprise.

This of course leaves Toby flustered and embarrassed. He spends much of the remainder of the day locked in one of the portable toilets worried that he ruined the one good friendship he had.

Lex of course spends time trying to convince his friend otherwise and eventually succeeds. Things are a bit awkward afterwards but they put it behind them.

Unrelated note, I'm taking a small break from B&W comics after Inktober and then working on a similar set of comics that will focus on Felix's backstory -- his family, overcoming his social issues (somewhat) and getting his first assignment.

I've been really enjoying the Inktober comics. They've helped me to expand the characters and the universe of Space Pawdyssey.

So far, I've shown folks:
- The refugee camps
- The fact that various species have their own language (ex "Cat")
- Lex's mother died and he doesn't particularly like his father
- Toby's family is dead
- Cats have a class system
- Toby comes from a noble house

There's more to come too, but there's so much more I can do in these brief little comics. They aren't necessary reading, obviously, but they are a fun extra. They are a window into my own thought processes and help you see what I had in mind with these characters.

We'll also see Toby's penchant for music and Lex's artistic talent.

So, with that said, I have a question for you folks.

If I do more of these in November, focusing on another character, what would you like to see? WHO would you want to see in it? What point in their lives are you most curious about?