For the longest time I’ve been unmotivated and uninspired. Most of the impact has been seen in my writing. It mostly had to do with me losing my laptop and thus all the progress I had worked on for my main story.

Recently I lost my mate. It was sudden. No warning, no fight, just a sudden blockage throughout the board. I literally lost all contact with him and I’ve been left broken and alone. Because of this for the last week I’ve been heavily depressed and my health has deteriorated horribly. I was already ill when it happened and have not been able to cure myself due to the amount of stress and sadness I’ve been forced to endure.

I don’t like being alone. I’ve never felt comfortable with not having someone to love and feel loved. Makes me feel incomplete and somewhat discarded.

A friend suggested I seek help in FA, but I doubt it would help much. Instead I’ve made a decision. Originally I was going to destroy all my work and just disappear, but after looking through my watchers list I realized it would be unfair to those who like my work. I’ve always felt that nobody likes my stuff, but the fact that they’re there proves me wrong.

My mate and I had plans for the future of my stories. A lot of the development that was going to go into the creation of MegaFrost’s adventures now leaves with him. As such I’m going to need to take things into a new direction and strive to work things out.

My main focus will be to finish my first story and eventually write up the different episodic adventures I had originally envisioned when I created MegaFrost. Besides these I also plan to write out stories suggested by friends as well as other original tales from the world of New Earth that I created for MegaFrost. This would also include yiffy content for those looking for more adult situations. Frost himself is bi, so that’s just more fun for everyone. Who doesn’t love a super husky anyway?

After much pain I have come to terms with the fact that I’ll never have my foxy back. It hurts just writing this. I’ll actively continue seeking out a new mate that shares the same things I like. I’m simple enough. Video games, speedos, superheroes. I know there aren’t that many superfurs or speedofurs out there, but maybe someday I’ll find someone who can bring as much, if not more happiness that my old mate did. All I can do is hope.

So stay tuned folks. MegaFrost is coming back and more adventures are over the horizon!

Any comments or words of motivation will be greatly appreciated.

I had the entire day planned on having fun with friends and hanging out in costume. Saddly that's not going to happen.

My MegaFrost costume's zipper got damaged a while back and I recently had it fixed. The zipper appeared to be working fine, but after testing it the thing broke again. The last time the zipper broke just because I accidentally pulled on the zipper too hard. This time I hardly pulled and the thing came loose.

Sure, it's not the end of the world, but the thing is practically unwearable at the moment, so my plans for the day are ruined.

I don't feel like leaving the house now because of this. There were a couple of costume contests I could've easily have won. Was thinking of doing the whole thing with the costume underneath my regular clothes for a cool super reveal. Maybe next year.

I'm already working out to get a Spider-Man costume, but that's going to take a while.

I've recently been having money problems and my situation at work isn't the best at the moment, so he motivated me to get a Paypal account and start writing stories for comissions.

My writing style can be seen in the parts of my MegaFrost story I've posted here on FA.

I can continue to write in my screenplay format, as well as the traditional format, though it will take me longer that way.

I have no qualms with writing action, adventure, romantic or even yiffy stories.

Prices would be negotiable, mostly depending on how much I'd need to write and how much freedom I'm given with the stories.

I'm also available for video work, so if anybody needs me to add special effects to their videos or need help with editing just let me know.

One of the things I hate about being Panamanian is that sometimes movies take too long to get here.

I was just called less than 5 minutes ago by a friend who works for a TV show here in Panama that he managed to get me a ticket to see Transformers tonight. That movie doesn't premier here until July 19. I'M SO THERE!!!!

I'm so excited! I just wish I had the Prime voice changer helmet. I'll be getting it for the actual premier next week.

After spending a day in thought and a restless night I finally realized something.

An e-mail sent to me regarding my issue with my mate has opened my eyes to a lot of things.

I was wrong to think I could never find love. After such a long time, I actually did find love. Having spent so much time on my own, I didn't realize the way I was reacting to different things.

Well, if anything, I've learned that the only way to find true love is to love myself and to keep myself open to all sorts of possibilities, not just attach myself to the things I feel are right and look at the bigger picture.

I feel at peace. I still feel alone, but it's only a feeling. I'm truly not alone.

If my love is out there and reading this- you know who you are- let me just say that I understand now. My eyes have opened.

I'll start doing things for myself and not others.

I appreciate my friends and now... now I feel like I can truly do something about myself without needing to rely on someone else to feel good about who I am.

Well, enough of that. I'm not an artist, but I wanted to let everyone know that if they have story ideas I can write them up whenever I have the time. My MegaFrost story is my main project and I'm also developing a series of episodes based on it, but that series and other projects I can base on some of my friends ideas.

Already, episodes 1 and 3 of the series are based on ideas provided by 2 friends of mine, but if any of you would like a cameo in my series or want personalized stories that are fully developed let me know. Ideas can be clean, yiffy, light scenes, full stories, etc. Just let me know.

I have this problem. I usually am depressed unless I'm mated. I know it sounds stupid, but it just happens to be the case.

I found someone recently and everything was great. Hell, he even got me to exercise regularly, something nobody had ever accomplished with me before. Since I live in Central America most of my relationships with furs have been online... but now it seems like I'm not meant to be with anyone.

Why is it that when I'm most happy that my significant other suddenly decides to cut all communication, not talk to me and just leave me in the middle of a conversation. Ignore me for days and make me feel like I don't matter.

I don't mean to create drama here, but I guess I just need to get it out of my chest. I almost feel like I'm meant to be alone.

IRL you say? I'm sorry, but I just can't fall in love with anyone locally anymore. Makes me feel like the only way I'll ever be happy is if I move to the US. Seriously depressed.

I'm actually near tears as I write this because my heart belongs to someone, but now it seems that the smallest detail is enough to make him just leave me and break my heart.

I feel like I'm meant to be alone... like that's my destiny... I don't know what to do anymore...

Am I not meant to feel the love of another fur in my heart?