I'm going to break my record of boredom people.

I have no idea why i just posted this anyway.

Bah.

Been 2 months i submitted a post.

Again.

So yeah,a list of sendouts and operations behind my back,the nice days of spring and asphalt behind me,and under my knees.

Though i don't feel happy enough to shout it out.
I enjoy the days but i can't say ''wow,what a great day this was'' lately.

Maybe it's because of a compensation for the unannounced sendouts,they gave us an easy job informing people about a job for the Dutch Military,we go around the country in the morning,to one,two,or three-maybe four govermental instances to inform people,then go home and do absolutely nothing,for the same amount of money on our paycheck,hey,that's fine you would say,no work,still money?
But eh,i'm going crazy,i don't know what to fill my time with.
I'm bored people,bored out of my fucking mind.
''You rather be in another country all the way on the other side of the ocean dodging bullets arresting the bad guys?'' Yes.
Even us are sometimes shitting our pants in combat situations but at least it's exiting.
Also i feel like i shouldn't worry so much about myself because,there's few that worry along with me,í've stopped caring long ago people,this is my life,this is my job,and if my job won't kill me,my hobby might,but hey:

I'm living fast and so i am.
I'll never be a nowhere man.

Everything's still the same.



Someone stop the faggotry.










...



I'm getting pretty fucking tired of it/them.




>_>




Also,Yami's rule.
I want one now...NOW...

Someone wanna buy a Kawasaki Ninja ZX-10R with Power Commander - 3 and Akrapovic 'Racing & Evolution' high performance exhaust system?
Also Twin-Air open powerfilter,customised and tuned RAM-air system and Pirelli Diablo III Supercorsa's,profesionnally tuned by myself and tested on a Dynojet resulting in 244 bph against 188 standard and 157 Newton meters of torque against the standard 113.3? :)

Hehehehehe,beast.
First elbow-down last week's monday,unintentionally,good thing my suit has elbow sliders,my old suit would be ripped,it was quite the experience after a long series of non-kneedown 55 degrees-ish angles,of course i felt it slip and slide because i was riding on the fucking limit of the tyres,but it got enough grip to go on,so why slow the fuck down.

I think i came when my elbow hit the asphalt.

*KRRRRRRSHHHHHHH!!!!!!* ''HOLY SH-''

I was actually teaching some guys how to put a fucking knee down,i told them that they shouldn't try doing the same,since i'm #1 Expierenced and #2 Crazy in the mind.
What a laugh,I'm not trying to do that anytime soon,hehehehe.

Ben Spies style,word.

Now i only need sponsors and alot of moolah,so i can get the fuck out of the fucking KCT and start a racing career,like i was before this bs.
Even though,that were Dutch and IDM championships.
As i keep saying: ''the ones with the richest daddies get the furthest.''

I enherited my dad's talent,that's way more worth to me than money though.
The guy still owns me @ riding skills,and i love it.
I'm proud of my old man.

Hm,this is going nowhere,talk to you people later,somewhere,sometime.


''You need to be young and stupid first,before you can get old and wise.'' - QFT.

Lunatics unite.

Yeah so,here we go again. :

Taken from :  lillica

1. First thing you wash in the shower?
My hair?

2. What color is your favorite hoodie?
Camo or black.

3. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?
Mhm.

4. Do you plan outfits?
I have set outfits depending on the situation or type of training that day.

5. How are you feeling RIGHT now?
Tired and pissed.

6. What's the closest thing to you that is red?
Aprilia RSV Mille model.

7. Tell me about the last dream you remember having?
Nightmare rather,combat operations get to you.

8. Did you meet anybody new today?
Not that i know of.

9. What are you craving right now?
Food,i'm fucking starving,haven't had any of that since 1 pm yesterday.

10. Do you floss?
I own a turbodiesel powered V8 twin turbo powervalve toothbrush,Hah!

11. What comes to mind when I say cabbage?
Vegetarians,horrible creatures.

12. Are you emotional?
I couldn't do my job if i were.

13. Have you ever counted to 1,000?
By technical use,yes.

14. Do you bite into your ice cream or just lick it?
I devour brutally,no mercy.

15. Do you like your hair?
When it's not full of dirt and grease/gunpowder.

16. Do you like yourself?
No.

17. Would you go out to eat with George W. Bush?
To talk about how he should improve his strategies and tactics.

18. What are you listening to right now?
The sound of my pc buzzing and my dad revving his Triumph Daytona T595 triple fuel injection,because he mounted his twin 3-to-2 Venom exhaust pipes under the Triumph's butt,and checks for leaks and possible rattling.

19. Are your parents strict?
Sometimes when they're cranky,mainly i don't give a damn and do my own thing,what? I'm not a kid.
Normally my dad's like an 18 year old himself.

20. Would you go sky diving?
I do it at least 2 times a week. We're airmobile,deployable anywhere in the world through air,over land,and sea.

21. Do you like cottage cheese?
The hell is cottage cheese?

22. Have you ever met a celebrity?
Yes,I've been in many pitboxes and have met many talented world-championship level riders,best time ever would be meeting ''The Doctor'' Valentino Rossi,9 times World Champion in multiple Classes,one time 125cc,one time 250cc,one time 500cc,and 6 times MotoGP.
TT-Circuit Assen,2003.

23. Do you rent movies often?
Downloading is easier.

24. Is there anything sparkly in the room you're in?
Some stuff,what kind of question is this?

25. How many countries have you visited?
Hm...

Germany,Belgium,France,Italy,Austria,Zwitserland (how the fuck is it called in english?),Spain,Portugal,Luxembourg,Danmark,Norway,Sweden,Greece,England,Ireland,Scotland...Yeah i think that's pretty much it. (mainly for work (Motorshows) and circuit riding.)

26. Have you made a prank phone call?
As a kid.
27. Ever been on a train?
Yes.

28. Brown or white eggs?
IS there a difference?

29.Do you have a cell-phone?
Yes,for emergencies.

30. Do you use lip balm?
No?

31. Do you own a gun?
Definetly.

32. Can you use chop sticks?
No,but i know better ways to chop things.

33. Who are you going to be with tonight?
No one probably.

34. Are you too forgiving?
I rarely forgive.

35. Ever been in love?
Mhm.

36. What is your best friend(s) doing tomorrow?
Hell if i know.

37. Ever have cream puffs?
No.

38. Last time you cried?
A while ago.

39. What was the last question you asked?
''Why the hell am i filling this in?''

40. Favorite time of the year?
Spring/Summer <-- Quoted for truth.

41. Do you have any tattoos?
No.

42. Are you sarcastic?
Yes.

43. Have you ever seen The Butterfly Effect?
The hell is it?

44. Ever walked into a wall?
Probably.

45. Favorite color?
Black/Red/Camo.

46. Have you ever slapped someone?
You hit harder with a fist.

47. Is your hair curly?
Glad it isn't.

48. What was the last CD you bought?
Downloading is cheaper.

49. Do looks matter?
Sometimes.

50. Could you ever forgive a cheater?
No.

51. Is your phone bill sky high?
I rarely call so i guess not.

52. Do you like your life right now?
Nope,it was better before our racing customising and maintenance/repair shop was closed down because of the economy bullshit.

53. Do you sleep with the TV on?
I have no tv on my room but the one i use for my PS3,which doesen't get channels,so no.

54. Can you handle the truth?
Anytime,dreaming will get you nowhere.

55. Do you have good vision?
I see perfectly fine,but i use glasses/contacts when i'm out riding my bike,because somehow vision goes down by narrowing the rays of light,because of the helmet letting less in than when you wouldn't wear a helmet,also,sometimes during late evenings,when light dies down,and i don't have many lights on at home because i dislike fuckloads of lighting.

56. Do you hate or dislike more than 3 people?
Fuck yes.

57. How often do you talk on the phone?
Rarely.

58. The last person you held hands with?
Lyanis.

59. What are you wearing?
Kawasaki Monster MotoGP Racing Team T-Shirt.

60.What is your favourite animal?
Felines,Canids,Dragons.

61. Where was your default picture taken at?
What picture?

62. Can you hula hoop?
Fuck No.

63. Do you have a job?
Royal Dutch Commando. (Previously Certified racing customisation and maintenance/repair motorcycle mechanic.)

64. What was the most recent thing you bought?
Cogs and chain drive for my 1984' GPZ305 Unitrak,to make it a chain-drive instead of a Belt-Drive,because the belt snapped,and a chain is way fucking cheaper.

65. Have you ever crawled through a window?
Yes,weekly at training.

Taken from  lillica

100 Truths,hasn't this been done before? Ah hell.

001. Real name → Martijn
002. Nickname(s)→ Fury,Wolfy...*thinks* Think that was it.
003. Zodiac sign → Gemini (? June!)
004. Male or female → Male.
005. Elementary → YEARS Ago.
006. Middle School → A few years ago?
007. High School → Working 4 days a week,1 day of 'high school' for advanced (Racing) mechanics.
008. Hair color → Dark red,black when not in bright light.
009. Long or short → Almost shoulder lenght.
010. Loud or Quiet → Loud when ticked or pissed off/angry or during work,Quiet when among people or alone.
011. Sweats or Jeans → Hell if i know,it's either racing leather or camouflage i wear.
012. Phone or Camera → Phone i got on me for emergencies,Camera's i don't need,but got one.
013. Health freak → For my job.
014. Drink or Smoke? → Both are unhealthy and will affect condition,but i like a drink every once in a while.
015. Do you have a crush on someone? → Somewhat.
016. Eat or Drink → Don't you need both to survive?
017. Piercings → Do broken bones count? other than that,no.
018. Tattoos → None.


HAVE YOU EVER?
019. Been in an airplane → A couple of times,both airplanes and helicopters,for work.
020. Been in a relationship → Yes.
021. Been in a car accident → No,Motorcycles twice on the road,to many to count times on circuit.
022. Been in a fist fight → Too much to count.

FIRSTS:
023. First piercing → Age 11,lower leg bone,50cc championship crash.
024. First best friend → Martin (no not myself ffs.)
025. First award → 50cc Dutch Championship Champion Age 14,2005.
026. First crush → My friend's Ex-girl,Years ago.
028. First big vacation → France,1993,can't even remember,i was 2.
029. Last person you talked to → Dad.
030. Last person you IMed → Laura.
031. Last person you watched a movie with → Dad.
032. Last food you ate → Chinese.
033. Last movie you watched → Jarhead.
034. Last song you listened to → Stuff is messed up by The Offspring.
035. Last thing you bought → Parts for my GPZ 305.
036. Last person you hugged → Lyanis.

FAVES:
037. Food → Chinese.
038. Drink → Carribean Rum.
039. Clothing → Camouflage or Racing leather,other than that anything black,because it is easy to clean and looks good anywhere.
040. Books → What are books? *cough*
041. Music → Rock,Hard-Rock,Punk-Rock,Metal.
042. Flowers → If ever,a Cactus,because they need water only once a month and i'll forget it anyway.
043. Colors → Black,Red,Grey.
044. Movies → A shitload of War themed movies,LOTR,Pirates of the Carribean was good.
045. Positions → C.R.P 4th,2nd Commander. (I know this wasn't about combat formations,but hell! ;3)
046. Subjects → Tactical warfare,Motorcycles,Engines in general,Racing.

IN 2009 I....
047. [x] kissed in the snow.
048. [] celebrated Halloween
049. [x] had your heart broken
050. [] went over the minutes on your cell phone
051. [] someone questioned your sexual orientation
052. [] Came out of the closet
053. [ ] gotten pregnant (How am i supposed to,I'M A DUDE!!!!!)
054. [ ] had an abortion (The above!)
055. [x] done something you've regretted
056. [x] broke a promise
057. [x] hid a secret
058. [x] pretended to be happy
059. [x] met someone who changed your life
060. [] pretended to be sick.
061. [x ] left the country (Multiple times.)
062. [] tried something you normally wouldn't try and liked it
063. [x ] traveled to high mountains
064. [ ] ran a lot on the beach
065. [ ] live on a beach
066. [] stayed single a whole year. (I did before 2009,for more than one year.)

CURRENTLY:
067. Eating → Nothing.
068. Drinking → Nothing.
069. I'm about to do → Fill in this thing.
070. Listening to → Hooch by Sum-41.
071. Plans for today → It's almost ending,so none.
072. Waiting for → Time to sleep to start another fucked up week.

YOUR FUTURE:
073. Want kids? → If i grow old enough to see that day.
074. Want to get married? → Yes.
075. Careers in mind → I am a certified Motorcycle and racing customisation Mechanic,Sportsbikes,streetbikes,dirtbikes,cruisers,anything,you name it,
currently a Royal Dutch Commando as of Mid-September,Green Beret as of two weeks ago.
I'd like to become a Professional Motorcycle rider in the world championships,to bad i don't have a rich daddy.
Other than that,a mechanic for one of those guys that make rubber burn and make me smile during the racing seasons at the sight of it.
Once more,this is near impossible.

OR OR:
076. Lips or eyes → You both need them right?
077. Shorter or taller? → Doesen't matter.
078. Romantic or spontaneous → Bit of both'll do.
079. Nice stomach or nice arms → ...What? how do you compare those two?
080. Sensitive or loud → Bit of both.
081. Hook-up or relationship → Relationship.
082. Trouble-maker or hesitant → Trouble-maker. (Like myself.)

HAVE YOU EVER:
083. Lost glasses/contacts → Aye.
084. Ran away from home → I don't have too.
086. Killed somebody/thing → Yes. (Those who know,keep it to yourself please.)
087. Broken someone's heart → Yes.
088. Been arrested → Yes. (For fucking up people who provoked me in public or threathened to hurt my friends.)
089. Cried when someone died → You have no idea.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
090. Yourself → No.
091. Miracles → No.
092. Love at first sight → Maybe sometimes.
093. Heaven → Not sure.
094. Santa Claus → Christmas may go to hell for all i care,it's not different from any other day.
095. Sex on the first date → No
096. Kiss on the first date → Yes.

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:
097. Is there one person you want to be with right now? → Yes.
098. Are you seriously happy with where you are in life? → No.
099. Do you believe in God → I have my doubts,but i sure know some Angels.
100. Post as 100 truths and tag some people → Yeah so,'Bunch of people' you know who you are,get to it Privates,Double time!

Taken from  lillica

1. What is your character’s full name?
Furygan

2. When were they born?
The Year 2082.

3. What are their parent’s names?
Database error.
4. Do they have any brothers or sisters?
Database error.

5. What kind of eyes do they have?
Blood red.

6. What kind of hair do they have?
Black/dark red depending on the amount of light,Mostly Grey/black fur.
7. What is their complexion like?
The hell is complexion?

8. What body type are they?
Tall/muscular,but not too much,only when provoked,Anthro.

9. What is listening to their voice like?
Normally similar to David Hayter,when provoked/different state of mind like a roaring dragon.

10. Do they have a favourite quote?
''No Regrets! No Fear! No Surrender! No Mercy! No Hesitation!''


11. What sort of music do they enjoy?
Rock/Hard Rock/Metal.

12. Have they ever cheated on a partner?
Nay.

13. Have they ever lost someone close to them?
Many fallen comrades of the EDF Commando's during the 1st Galactic war.

14. What is their favourite sound?
Gunfire and explosions.

15. What is their opinion on euthanasia?
There is no such thing in his expierences.

16. Are they judgemental of others?
Will not hesitate to confirm one to be hostile if not on the same heights about things.

17. Have they ever been drunk?
In his youth and during the war.

18. What are they like when they stay up all night?
Can go on for days without sleep.

19. Have they ever been arrested?
Prisoner of war.

20. What colour evokes strong memories for them?
Red,the colour that drowned many comrades and enemies alike,before his very eyes.

21. What do they do on rainy days?
Training,always.

22. What religion are they?
There is no such thing in the 21st and 22nd century.

23. What word do they overuse the most?
"Tango Neutralised."

24. What do they wear to bed?
IF he ever sleeps,standard issue boxers.

25. Do they have any tattoos or piercings?
Battle scars,Unit number and ID-Tag.

26. What type of clothing are they most comfortable in?
Ops-Gear and scaled-formation fold-body-covering armor plating.

27. What is their most disliked saying?
"You can't do that because...''

28. Do they have any enemies?
Many.

29. What does their writing look like?
As if a computer would have written it.

30. What disgusts them?
Obviously queer people,religious bullshit,horribly stupid and ignorant people,terrorists and people that think they know what the fuck is going on by sitting at home behind their pc ranting about how wars are useless and we should sit back and watch how terrorists fuck us up.

31. Has your OC developed any romantic relationships?
Has done once.

32. What are four weaknesses in them?
- Neglecting friends.
- Really Short temper.
- Can't succeed in anything other than ''murder''.
- Has a soft spot deep inside,yet is horribly hard to find.


33. Strengths?
Skilled Marksman,Leader skills,Strong minded,Physical strenght and the will to use it even if not strictly necessary.

34. Does your character have any phobias?
Emotion of Fear shut down after Project Nightwarrior.


35. What could you do to get them into a blind rage?
Act like a queer,insult,talk shit about military subjects,act like you know better.

36. Has he/she encountered any traumatizing events?
Killing,Emotion of regret shut down after Project Nightwarrior.

37. What was probably the best time in his/her life so far?
Has not expierenced many good times.

38. Does your character ever get depressed?
Emotion of Depression shut down after Project Nightwarrior.

39. Leader or Follower?
Alpha.

40. What is the main aspect of his/her personality?
Straight to the point,No Hesitation,Agression once needed.

Glad the bullshit's over. Fuck do i hate Christmas.

No more Red and white,No more family over,finally my house to me,alone,once more.

All that is left now is a few days before newyear,Finally getting rid of fucking terrible 2009 and start a new clean year in 2010.

Worst part after Christmas is yet to come: Monday,Tuesday and Wednesday,the KCT will do Charity,and we will be in Ops-Gear,giving out presents and stuff to the lesser-wealthy people in Holland,In OPS-GEAR...It makes no sense,but Lieutenant says it adds to the realism of children and parents alike being scared,and we're tasked to ''build up'' certain trust with them to show them we're really not that much of a ruthless killer machine as thought by civilian crowd.

''Much like Iraq and the rest of the Middle-East,though they are twice as afraid of you. The Special Forces are tasked to bring peace and trust back into conflict area's,by the use of as less as violence possible,and you guys could become a perfect example by doing this,so act nice,and warm,but keep your cool and your eyes out,like anywhere else.''

Yep,Royal Dutch Korps Commando Troops are now ''Korps Cuddle Troops'' for the upcoming 3 days,well so it seems,little joke running around at base,fuck it.

Worst thing that could happen would be Santa-camo or Pink flower Outfits and jolly green socks & Gloves. Wooptie-freakin-doo.
If the above happens,i am so quitting the Green Berets.

So to sum it all up: Christmas Sucks,Newyear sucks,2009 sucks,and charity sucks,Balls.

Goodbye 2009 and your disasterous happenings,and welcome 2010,i hope you will be kind and sweet to me,for once in a fucking lifetime.

Few Weeks untill Green Beret Exams,Much Operations and training to come.

While the world falls,collapsing deeper and deeper around me,i shall stand,too catch up all the debris.

I'm a soldier,these shoulders hold up so much,
They wont budge,I will never fall or fold up.
I'm a soldier,even if my collar bones crush or crumble,
I will never slip or stumble.

Enter:

Furygan '10

Bored out of my fucking mind,let's hop on the bandwagon,shall we?

---

[] You have a boyfriend/girlfriend.

[X] You have your own room.

[x] You own a cell phone.

[] You have an ipod/mp3 player.

[x] Your parents are still married.

[] You have more than 2 best friends.

[] There is a swimming pool in your backyard.

T 0 T A L: 3


[X] You dress how you want to.

[X] You hang out with friends more than once a week.

[X] There is a computer/ laptop in your room.

[x] You have never been beaten up.

[x] You never cry more than twice a month. (I should have put none,because i never do,but i have the last month because of my combat operations,it's too complicated to explain right now.)

[x] You are allowed to listen to the music you want to.

[x] Your room is big enough for you.

[] People don't use you for something you have.

[] You have been to a concert.

T 0 T A L: 10


[] You have over 50 friends on myspace. (I do not have myspace.)

[] Your parents will let you have a myspace. (They can't tell me what i can and not can.)

[x] You get allowance.

[x] You collect something normal.

[] You look forward to going to school. (Been there,done that,shithole.)

[x] You don't wish you were someone else.

[x] You play a sport. (Motorcycle circuit racing in spring and summer.)

[] You do something after school. (Dude,Been there.)

T 0 T A L: 14


[x] You own a car and/or motorcycle. (Four Motorcycles,Of which one is out of use (Motorhispania RX2 with an Aprilia RS125 Engine),saving it for my little brother,one's a circuit racer (A Suzuki GSX-R 600 SRAD '01),A Kawasaki Ninja ZX-10R For on the streets in spring/summer,and a Kawasaki GPZ 305 Uni-trak of '84 for in the winter.
Also,i own a Porsche Carrera 4 of 2002,which's engine was fucked,bought it for little money and replaced the broken parts,now i drive a cheap-expensive sportscar,Hehe.)

[x] You usually don't fight with your parents.

[x] You are happy with your appearance.

[] You aren't self-conscious at all. (Don't know what this means,so i'm not gonna do this one,Explain,someone.)

[x] You have never got a failing grade in your life.

[X] You have friends.

T 0 T A L: 19

[X] You know what is going on in the world.

[] You care about so many people. (I do care about my friends,but there aren't ''so many''.)

[] You are happy with your life.

[x] You know more than one language.

[X] You own a pet.

[X] You know the words to 5 songs. (And more.)

[] You don't have any enemies. (Everywhere,but mostly in the middle-east.)

[] You are a generally nice person. (Haha. Good one.)

T O T A L: 23

---

23? 23%? What?

Yep,Once more,tough week,i'm broken.

Shitty weather also,but i keep myself going.

As second in command,you have to be a good example for your fellow comrades,right?
Give up,and they shall as well.

Anyway,i've come up with something yet again.
Stuff keeps spinning in my head over last week,still.
I still can't believe we all made it out of that situation alive,slightly harmed but alive.

So here goes:



The Green Berets.



In the light of day and night,
No one shall be left behind,
Over land,Through Air And Sea,
These Shadows are watching me.

Making sure that i can sleep,
Safe my enviroment they will keep,
Eradicating the nightmares of the day,
They make the evil spirits fade away.

From the front,to back at home,
These young men are not alone,
A company made out of 8,
Nothing makes these men afraid.

Ghosts in the night,ghosts during the day,
Getting evil out of the way.
Safe they make it,safe shall they keep,
So i,without worries,can go to sleep.

They are brothers,one by one,
Like family,close under the sun,
The only difference would be a gun,
A rifle,pistol,anyway,it is but the price to pay.

For freedom there must be sacrifise,
It would be theirs,they'd give their lives.
So the people of our planet can sleep,
Without worries,that way they shall it keep.

Special Operations,certified,
No one shall be left behind.
Far more advanced than the infantry,
The Commando's are the ones to be.

The Ghosts,The Shadows of the Land,
The Water,Sea,The Air and Sand,
They make all evil go away,
The Brave young men of the Green Berets.


Semper Fi,Nunc Aut Nunquam.

_________________________________________________________

Guess that'll be all for now,sigh.

Not that it is very interesting since i've lost about all faith in fucking mankind,and i've seen too much of reality for that matter.

I'm not gonna tell you people much because i think you don't need to know what the fuck went on down in Tarin Kowt.

I'll just say,one thing.

Operation was a failure,Total disaster.

I wrote a song,it doesen't rhyme for shit translated in English but hell if i care.

_________________________________________________________

I've been waiting.


I'm Dying every day underway,but going where?
And if i'm there,what is it that i do?
I am insane if u'd like,unable to be woken up,
dwelling in my mind,can't sleep for nights.
Terroristic acts,Black Mondays,
I'm not a kid anymore,can't ask my daddy,
I've got dreams that chase me,push me around,
Like Thunder follows Lightening from a cloud.
I'm doing well as a Wolf but i used to be a Pup,
But the Snake and the Cat inside me knew what to do,
Put myself into place,because all along i knew,
How it can go wrong if one smells blood flown,
Between Insane,Genious,Everyone,Anyone,
You read my book and i write the tales,
With the blood from my knife,at the end of my barrel,
I am ready,Come get me,Because i've been waiting so long!


I've been Waiting for so long,
For an answer,nobody can give me.
I've been Waiting for so long,
But without results,
I am Dying of Living.

I am Tired of waiting,
Can't sit still and make myself crazy in my mind.
Will i ever know the answers?
I'm getting light in my head,everything seems numbed by evil forces.
As a kid i used to take everything as they came,
Had no questions so i never played along with the game,
I believed in fairytales,and in the people,
Was content,had little to wish for.
But now that time without worries is gone,
I wonder what the reason for me is,
That i am here,what does it matter,
What does it matter now what i do?
And now the time ticks faster and faster,
I ask myself what there is in the end.
What does it matter that i do what i'm good at,or what is wrong?
Give me a sign because i've been waiting for too long!

I've been waiting for so long,
For an Answer nobody can give me.
I've been waiting for so long,
But it's no use.
I am Dying of living!

I've been waiting for so long but for what?
And Why? I guess i'll see when i get to that point.
But if death knocks on your door and your world falls apart,
You gotta do your thing before it's too late,
That's why i'm in a rush,everything has to be done quick,
High on Adrenaline,Leaning on nothing but luck,
You look for your destiny,you test your skill,
You build up something,mostly against your will,
Maybe i'll be 80,Maybe it'll stop Before 40,
But please not sooner because i still love it!
There are so many things I'd love to do,
Gotta' make it clear before i drop down in silence,
Death is something that is a part of life,
And Life goes on for the ones left behind,
I just hope i'll never be forgotten,
And End up on the right side of Heaven's Gates!

I've been waiting for too long,
For an answer nobody can give me,
I've been waiting too damn long,
To find a reason,i am dying for freedom.

Outnumbered,outgunned,wounded,it is not the end,
On the edge of life and death,down in the sand,
Down the scope,finger on the trigger by my command,
The little flash announces a bullet,signed your death.

I've been waiting so long,
For an Answer nobody can give me,
I've been waiting for so long,
And with results,I've been waiting for this very moment.

Click.

_________________________________________________________

I'm gonna get me some rum now,and hope i slip into a coma,see you next journal.

CFC.Fury,Out.

001. Name → Martijn (Martain,Martane in english,ffs.) Fransiscus Hendrik Marinus Elberse. (Don't start about the Catholic bullshit because i haven't been to church for years.)
002. Nickname(s) → Fury,Furygan,Yomi,Windscreamers, (KCT 104th Unit,8th Fireteam nickname,Sniper-orientated squad.) Wolfy...haven't heard that in a while though...
003. Status → Exhausted but alive.
004. Zodiac sign → Not sure,June?
005. Male or female → Male
006. Primary School → Can't remember
007. Secondry School → Eh...Hooghuis Lyceum Oss-Zuid Vehicle Mechanics.
008. College → Learned through working.
009. Smart → IF that's what you would want to call me.
010. Hair color → Dark,Don't exactly know,Black/Brown normally,Dark red in bright light.
011. Long or short → Not too long,not too short,it's got a little bangs and goes till my shoulders,it just touches them,nothing more.
012. Loud or Quiet → Quiet when unprovoked.
013. Sweats or Jeans → Usually KCT Standard combat issue,if not at the KCT,Racing suits and if not on motorcycles,just shirts and jeans i guess,black preferably,because it goes with anything and it 'won't get dirty easily',at least you can't see it is.
014. Phone or Camera → Have both,rarely use them.
015. Health freak → Nope.

016. Drink or Smoke? → Smoke,Nope,Drink,Often.
017. Do you have a crush on someone? → Mhm.
018. Eating or Drinking → Both,because i'll die if i dont?
019. Piercings → Nope.
020. Tattoos → None so far.

FIRSTS:

023. First piercing → None.
024. First best friend → Guy i've known for 11 years,barely see him as a result of his parents's divorce.
025. First award → Dutch Champion 50cc motorcycle circuit racing 2003.
026. First crush → Someone i met when i was like what,12,turned out in disaster barely a year ago.
027. First pet → Milo,Jack Russel. Got a German Shepherd,Lunamaria.
028. First big vacation → Austria or France,can't remember.
030. First big birthday → Did i ever have a big birthday?

CURRENTLY:

049. Eating → M&M's.
050. Drinking → Rum.
052. I'm about to → Watch the MotoGP Valencia and go to bed probably.
053. Listening to → 'Still Loving You' by Sonata Arctica,Tribute to the Scorpions.
054. Plans for today → It's almost over so none really.

YOUR FUTURE:

058. Want kids? → *shrugs*
059. Want to get married? → Maybe someday.
060. Careers → Was a Certified Motorcycle Mechanic and Racing Modifier,lost job due to the economical crisis,then joined the Royal Dutch Korps Commando Troops. (KCT)

WHICH IS BETTER WITH THE OPPOSITE SEX?

068. Lips or eyes → Don't mind really.
070. Shorter or taller? → Same lenght,i don't mind?
072. Romantic or spontaneous → Bit of Both'll do.
073. Nice stomach or nice arms → Hm...
074. Sensitive or loud → Sensitive in calm situations,once doing something extremely stupid or fun,loud,like me.
075. Hook-up or relationship → Relationship.
077. Troublemaker or hesitant → Bit of both ;)

HAVE YOU EVER:

080. Lost glasses/contacts → Glasses,Haven't lost them,broke 8 pairs in 4 years,had contacts for 2 years now,never lost them.
081. Ran away from home → Fuck no,it's a goddamn mini-paradise,no taxes,nothing!
084. Broken someone's heart → Not that i know of,no,but the other way around,yeah,a couple of times.
085. Been arrested → Once or twice,for showing circuit-skills to the civilian's best friend,aperantly,120 mph down the four leaf pepperworth constructions on the highway,knee-down aren't allowed. Like Wheelies,and Stoppies,Donuts and burnouts.
087. Cried when someone died → Yes.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

089. Yourself → Not really no,but others do.
090. Miracles → They only happen when one has an extreme shitload of luck.
091. Love at first sight → Nope.
096. Life after death → Don't know,probably not,i don't really bother to discuss because no one has ever proven so.
092. Heaven → Maybe,because i still can't believe the people/pets i loved have ever vanished forever.
093. Santa Claus → Yeah,There's a guy here that walks around that looks a fuckload like him.
094. Sex on the first date → Not likely.
095. Kiss on the first date → Yes,if it works out properly.

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:

097. Is there one person you want to be with right now → Yup...
098. Are you seriously happy with where you are in life → Not one bit.
099. Do you believe in God → Don't know,i believe in lucky charms but God,i want to meet him first.

100. Post as 100 truths and tag -  chrispenguin  Dementiality  ibuuyk  Darknoctus

Final countdown. New Kawasaki Ninja ZX-10R tommorow.

Week sucked,month sucked,Kawa will make up a-fucking-lot.

Up untill then...

Hmmm...what'd fit today....
_________________________________________________________


So clever,whatever,I'm done with these endeavors,
Alone I'll walk the winding way,here I stay,
It's over,no longer,I feel it growing stronger,
I live to die another day, until I fade away!

Why give up? Why give in?
It's not enough, it never is,
So I will go on until the end!
We've become,desolate,
It's not enough,it never is,
But I will go on until the end!

Surround me,it's easy,to fall apart completely,
I feel you creeping up again,In my Head,
It's over,no longer,I feel it growing colder,
I knew this day would come to end,so let this life begin!

Why give up? Why give in?
It's not enough,it never is,
So I will go on until the end,
We've become,desolate,
It's not enough,it never is,
But I will go on until the end!

I've lost my way,
I've lost my way,
But I will go on until the end!

Living is,hard enough,without you FUCKING UP.........!!!

Why give up? Why give in?
It's not enough,it never is,
So I will go on until the end!
We've become,desolate,
It's not enough,it never is,
But I will go on until the end!

I've lost the way,
I've lost the way,
But I will go on until the end!

The final fight I win!
The final fight I win!
The final fight I win!

But I will go on until the end!!!

_________________________________________________________


It's breath intoxicating,
it's ego suffocating,
it's here in my house -
tryin' to get out,

It's moves exhilarating,
tempers infuriating,
it's no sage -
rampage-in-cage,

but you'll be safe,
you can feed it - you wanna play?
it's almost tamed...

Pet the destroyer,
My beast Le royal,
Pet my destroyer,
sweet killing machine,
Pet the destroyer,
My beast Le royal,
Oh wont you please meet the beast?

It's stare infatuating,
im not exaggerating,
it breaks off the leash,
creature released...

it's jaws intimidating,
rage indiscriminating,
it looks kinda mad -
well this looks kinda bad-

this isnt safe, NO!
i can feel it!
this isn't play!
it can't be in tamed!

Pet the destroyer,
my beast le royal,
pet my destroyer,
sweet killing machine,
Pet the destroyer,
my beast le royal,
oh wont you please meet the beast?
oh wont you please feed my beast?

Pet the destroyer,
my beast le royal,
pet my destroyer,
sweet killing machine,
Pet the destroyer,
my beast le royal,
oh wont you please meet the destroyer?

my beast le royal,
pet my destroyer,
It's a killing machine,
Pet the destroyer,
my beast le royal,
Oh won't you please meet the beast?
Oh won't you please feed my beast?


-Furygan

Definition:

'Love' is making a shot to the knees of a target 2
kilometers away using an A.I L96A1 S&B PM-II sniper rifle with a tri-light scope.

Statement:

This definition, I am told, is subject to interpretation.
Obviously, love is a matter of odds. Not many meatbags could make such a shot,
and fewer would derive love from it. Yet for me, love is knowing your target,
putting them in your targeting reticle, and together, achieving a singular purpose,
against statistically long odds.

Today,was fucking,shit.
I think what they say about me is true.

_________________________________________________________


Can't step in my way,
Head first into love and dismay,
It's like beating the dead,
I can't stop going out on my head,
Whatever this could be I never know,
I never said it'd be the end all to be all.

I hate you today,
I can't find a way,
Don't drag me down now.


Goodbye!
I've had enough frustration,
I won't get stuck!
Goodbye!
This dead end situation!
Is just not worth my time!

It's no better today,
I never thought it would end up this way,
You've got something to say?
Don't want to hear it if it gets in my way.

All this confusion, wandering, so overwhelmed,
ALL disillusion seems so clear,
Can't~! - find your conclusion to supporting evolution,
Not all things are what they appear!

So what's the point of this hell!
I know you too well,
We're running backwards!


Goodbye!
I've had enough frustration,
I won't get stuck,
Goodbye!
This dead end situation,
Is just not worth my time!

But waiting so frustrating,
I'm so sick of,
All this tension not to mention,
I'm so sick of,
Can't fake it,
You won't make it,
Just save yourself this trouble,
Get down and pray for yourself,
'Cause I'm just fine!

You speak for all of us when,
You can't be heard,
I bet you haven't listened,
To no one word,
You speak for all of us when,
You can't be heard,
I bet you haven't listened,
To no one word!


Goodbye!
I've had enough frustration,
I won't get stuck,
Goodbye!
This dead end situation,
Is just not worth my time!

But waiting so frustrating,
I'm so sick of,
All this tension not to mention,
I'm so sick of,
Sick of you!
















-_-'

Sorry i have not posted any Journal in a longass time.

Stuff has happened in almost a month time,not gonna bother.

The Good news,Picking up brand-new Kawasaki Ninja ZX-10R this weekend.

As for now,Instead of typing out the bullshit that happens in life,i'm gonna leave with this.


Silence is screaming in my head,
Stuck on repeat-
Not much longer ill be dead,
So just forget me,
I'm losing my mind,
and I don't think-
You could save me this time.

And it goes,
On and on and-
I just feel helpless,
How long will this take to wear out?
On and on, when will I get through this?
Welcome to my own down and out.

I'm falling deeper in-
This hole, true disaster,
I'm griping what I thought-
Control was falling faster,
I'm losing my mind,
And I dont think-
You could save me this time.

And it goes,
on and on and-
I just feel helpless,
How long will this take to wear out?
On and on, when will I get through this?
Welcome to my own down and out.

It's dragging on,
Wearing thin,
I cant stop these walls they keep caving in-
It's gone too far, where’s my mind-
Why can't I stop fear this paranoia!?
It's a never ending story,
And it starts with me!
It's a never ending story,
And it starts with me!

And it goes,
On and on and-
I just feel helpless,
How long will this take to wear out?
On and on, when will i get through this?
Welcome to my own down and out.

Welcome, welcome.
We still cant carry,
Welcome to my own down and out.
Welcome, welcome.
We're falling further,
Welcome to my own down and out.

Operation Flashpoint 2: Dragon Rising,Kicks so much fucking ass.

On the other hand,don't know what the fuck to post so i'ma post the lyrics of some of my favourite songs.

Here goes:

Borderline, dead inside,
I don't mind, falling to pieces
Count me in, violent, let's begin,
feeding the sickness,
How do I, simplify, dislocate,
the enemy's on the way.

Show me what it's like,
to dream in black and white,
so I can leave this world tonight.

Full of fear, ever clear,
I'll be here, fighting forever,
Curious, venomous, you'll find me,
climbing to heaven,
Nevermind, turn back time, you'll be fine,
I will get left behind.

Show me what it's like,
to dream in black and white,
so I can leave this world tonight.
Holding on too tight,
bring the breath of life,
so I can leave this world behind.

It only hurts just once,
they're only broken bones,
hide the hate inside.

Show me what it's like,
to dream in black and white,
so I can leave this world tonight.
Holding on too tight,
Breathe a breath of life,
so I can leave this world behind.

Unknown Soldier by Breaking Benjamin,Official Halo 2 Soundtrack.

_______________________________________________________

The mother of all that is evil,
Her lips are poisonous venom,
Wicked temptress knows how to please,
The priestess roars, "Get down on your knees"

The rite of the praying mantis,
Kiss the bones of the enchantress,
Spellbound searching through the night,
A howling man surrenders the fight.

One look in her lusting eyes,
Savage fear in you will rise,
Teeth of terror sinking in,
The bite of the she-wolf.

My desires of flesh obey me,
The lioness will enslave me,
Another heart beat than my own,
The sound of claws on cobblestone,I'm stoned.

One look in her lusting eyes,
Savage fear in you will rise,
Teeth of terror sinking in,
The bite of the she-wolf.


Beware what stalks you in the night,
Beware the she-wolf and her bite,
Her mystic lips tell only lies.

Beware what stalks you in the night,
Beware the she-wolf and her bite,
Her hidden will to kill in disguise.

She-Wolf By Megadeth,Suck on that,Shakira.

______________________________________________________


From our lives' beginning on,
we are pushed in little forms,
no one asks us how we like to be,
in school they teach you what to think,
but everyone says different things,
but they're all convinced that,
they're the ones to see.


So they keep talking and they never stop,
and at a certain point you give it up,
so the only thing that's left to think is this.


I want out--to live my life alone,
I want out--leave me be,
I want out--to do things on my own
I want out--to live my life and to be free.

People tell me A and B,
they tell me how I have to see,
things that I have seen already clear,
so they push me then from side to side,
they're pushing me from black to white,
they're pushing 'til there's nothing more to hear.


But don't push me to the maximum,
shut your mouth and take it home,
'cause I decide the way things gonna be.


I want out--to live my life alone,
I want out--leave me be,
I want out--to do things on my own,
I want out--to live my life and to be free.

There's a million ways to see the things in life,
a million ways to be the fool,
in the end of it, none of us is right,
sometimes we need to be alone.


No no no, leave me alone.


I want out--to live my life alone,
I want out--leave me be,
I want out--to do things on my own,
I want out--to live my life and to be free.

I Want Out by Sonata Arctica,Helloween Cover,better than the original.

_________________________________________________________

Can't step in my way,
Head first into love and dismay,
It's like beating the dead,
I can't stop going out on my head,
Whatever this could be I never know,
I never said it'd be the end all to be all.

I hate you today,
I can't find a way,
Don't drag me down now.


Goodbye!
I've had enough frustration,
I won't get stuck!
Goodbye!
This dead end situation!
Is just not worth my time!

It's no better today,
I never thought it would end up this way,
You've got something to say,
Don't want to hear it if it gets in my way.

All this confusion, wandering, so overwhelmed,
ALL disillusion seems so clear,
Can't find your conclusion to supporting evolution,
Not all things are what they appear!

So what's the point of this hell!
I know you too well,
We're running backwards!


Goodbye!
I've had enough frustration,
I won't get stuck,
Goodbye!
This dead end situation,
Is just not worth my time!

But waiting so frustrating,
I'm so sick of,
All this tension not to mention,
I'm so sick of,
Can't fake it,
You won't make it,
Just save yourself this trouble,
Get down and pray for yourself,
'Cause I'm just fine!

You speak for all of us when,
You can't be heard,
I bet you haven't listened,
To no one word,
You speak for all of us when,
You can't be heard,
I bet you haven't listened,
To no one word!


Goodbye!
I've had enough frustration,
I won't get stuck,
Goodbye!
This dead end situation,
Is just not worth my time!

But waiting so frustrating,
I'm so sick of,
All this tension not to mention,
I'm so sick of,
Sick of you!

No Brains by Sum-41.

Then again,I've got so much more songs that are among my favourites.
So i'm gonna spare you guys more time i would waste and leave it with this.

Salute.

The sun rose no shine.
The clouds threathened the unknowing.
The streets lied broken,wet and cold,without love.
Two tyres seek for traction,
The Rider for a soul.
Not Knowing what lies ahead,
Headed for a Destination unknown.
Unsure,Insecure,like his beast without a grip.

The clouds moved along,threathening.

Visor open,lights off,throttle all-open,not knowing where he goes.

The wind bashes the beast,it's rider seeks for cover,
No pain no gain over and over and over.
The miles just keep rolling,the bends are taken smooth.
Both rider and beast,seeking for traction,seeking for something to hold on too.

Death rides along.

The miles just keep rolling,into a world unknown.
He knows no fear,he knows no limits,he knows no giving in,he knows no boundaries between what he seeks and him.
Another mile,another bend,another torn up place,another illusionary image,of that pretty face.

And the moon shines upon him.

The inner beast,the wanted soul,the moonlight and desire make it whole.
The hour the rider lost control.

The rider now,seperated from his machine,none the less not seperated,from the inner beast.

And Death laughs at him.

He gets back on,he will not rest,his stubborn nature at it's best,he will not give in,will not break,it is His decision to that he will make.
Off go the rider,the beast and the machine,all together as a perfect team,Two personalities,one soul,Now for only one person to make it whole.

And Death respected him.

He rode off,not knowing where to go,
Visor open,Lights off,Throttle-open,Into the unknown.

For his desire,it lies so far away,His goal is impossible but to his emotions he must obey.
His mind is blank his body set on but one thing.
Not today,not tommorow,there is no giving in.

And so he travelled endlessly,not sure where he is.
Confused,Fucked up,Naive and Stubborn while we are going at this.
Into the void,Into the night,The Rider,The Machine,And the Beast,un-knowing,when his emotions shall be released.

And Reality rode along.

Broken,beat and scarred,not sure knowing where they are,
Out there rides the Wolf and the machine,not sure,and wherever he will ever be seen.

The Moonlight shined,the sun was long gone,the rain dropped and a lone wolf rode along,the bends,the miles,ever so lost,in this endless pit of tragedy,looking for a soul...

And the howling continued on...

Lol,Well there we go,almost a month passed since i joined the fandom. And it's been a great time.

It's disturbing too see though,the statistics are 80 male,20% female,Well so it seems.

Also,The other statistics are : 20% Straight 30% Bi 40% Gay 10% Zoophile,i mean,come on,what the fuck?

Don't get me wrong,gay and bi people are alright,But goddamn some DISGUST Me,there's like 60% of gay people on F.A-Forums that shout around obesessed with making clear they are obviously gay,and how they would love to fuck one another,No wonder they call us furfags.

Stop. The fucking. Bullshit.

Another way to give us a bad reputation: Zoophiles.

I mean sure,we like animals...ANTHRO animals,They don't exist,mere fantasy,That's what we are furries for.
Then there's zoophiles. They like to 'make love' [Read: Rape] Animals,Real. Feral. Animals.
I Can't even imagine doing that to my own dog,which is a female,Hell to the fucking no,I'm straight,i'm a fur,but i'm not touching my dog.
Then there's People that love to fuck MALE animals.
Dude,Do you really think that dog over there wished to have a freakin' cock up it's ass? Geeze...

And then 90% of the Furry Fandom finds it weird Tyra Banks easily makes fools out of us. THANKS TO THE PEOPLE WHO RUINED IT.

Enough Ranting though.

Today when riding home from work,i came across a four leaf pepperwort construction of a highway,Perfect for kneedowns.
So i gave it some throttle rolling my motorcycle along the bends,Not knowing i was being followed. Eventually i was pulled over,And the following occured:

'Goodday Young man.'
'Hello Sir.'
'May i see your license and Proof of ownership?'
'Sure thing Sir.'
'Seems like back there,according to the law,you didn't have your vehicle under control.'
'Well Sir,If you can put a knee down,Unlike 60% of the other motorcyclists riding Lowriders such as Harley's and touring bikes,but also sport riders,I say you pretty much DO have your motorcycle under control,I mean Sir,do you never watch Motorsports,i clearly learned there,it's the perfect form of control,though it is not allowed does not mean that i don't have my vehicle under control.'
'You might have a point kid,None the less it's illegal as it MAY result in a crash some time.'
'I Know Sir,but i couldn't let it lay there,it's such a perfect place to do it.'
'Maybe kid,but i'm writing you a ticket for speeding anyway...'
'Aw Sir come on,You know you enjoyed it'
So he looks at me like What do you mean,i'm like:
'Come on you could've pulled me over 3 times before entering another leaf.'
So he laughed a bit and said:
'Haha,I guess you're right,ah,whatever,Don't worry about it,the ticket's forfeit,i don't wanna write out more tickets today than i already have,takes away the fun of serving the citezens as well.'
'Thank you Sir.'
'It's because you're properly equipped with the right gear,unlike some,who barely even put on a jacket,but hey,keep it quiet,and keep that throttle down a bit will ya.'
'Will do Sir.'
'Alright,Remember my warning alright?'
'Yes Sir.'
'Good day Young man.'

And he rode off. I took another highway exit and did some more kneedragging. Rofl.

Ah Well,That's it for today,for once i wrote something longer and hopefully more interesting than usual,but probably no one will bother to read all the way through. Lol.

Greetz,

Furygan

Bah,Boring week,same old bullcrap.

Work's getting lesser and lesser,might even be forced to get another job if this keeps going on.
Economy crisis fucked up people's minds so they won't buy any parts or skip maintenance or-try-to-do-it-themselves which in most cases will lead them back to us.
Yep,Racing modifications are also getting tighter,that's why i get to work in shifts now,take a motorcycle apart completely,build on the new parts,and get it tested on a closed circuit,which mostly is my job since i've got the best 'feeling' on how a bike reacts,and should be adjusted.
That's the good news,the bad news is that i mostly work half days or some even not because of this bullshit,i get payed full though,which i really don't mind,it will bring down the company,but as long as i get payed i don't care,i just wanna get my money,i work for it,i need money to pay my bills so i can live and do what i like.
I hope our repairs/maintenance/tuning/racing modifying/motorcycle selling garage place keeps standing untill after the recession,So everything gets back to normal.

Sigh.

End of day 18.

Well not really because it's only 4:20 pm,but sure feels like it.

I am bored,no work today.
i wants teh new gamez but they come out next month,and november,lameness.
bah.
I do not know what more to say. :/

Bored.
Bored.
Bored.
Bored.
Bored.
Bored.
Bored.
Bored.

I Want COD: Modern Warfare 2,Operation Flashpoint 2: Dragon Rising and Assassin's Creed 2,But OFDR takes another month,and MW2 and AC2 Are signed up for november.

Waaaaaah.

If i had an Xbox i would be buying Halo 3: ODST Because it kicks ass.
Though i already have the PS-Excellence and i wouldn't wanna change it. :3

Drew something for me and my Buddies today,because i didn't have to work and i had this funny thing up in my mind.
Yeah,what to say more.
I do not know actually.

Ah whatever,

hay guyzz wat r goign on in dis lvl?

I Have:

Gotten groceries for the first time in months because my dad's away with his 18-wheeler.
Sold the leftover high performance racing parts of my old 125cc racer and gotten the money to buy launch control-and-handlebar stabalizer parts for my Suzuki GSX-R 600 SRAD (Suzuki Ram Air Direct) racer,which only needs that and ignition adjustments to be more competetive next season,I have fixed the damage of the sliding crash of my Triumph Daytona 675 from two weeks ago,which was only side panel damage,mirror,braking handle,and foot pedal,and tommorow i shall be getting new racing gloves,preferably an upgraded version of my current Alpinestars GP-2 kangaroo leather ones with carbonfiber knuckle,finger,wrist and palm protection.

Yeaaaaah.

That'll be all for now!