*Name: Chris
*Nicknames: Fuskr
*Zodiac Sign: Libra
*Eye Color: Brown
*Hair color: Brown (But I dye it like a man man cause I hate that color.)
*Height:5''6''
*Weight: 150-ish
*Someone you look like: No clue, but  ayulf Said I look like one of his friends.
*Right or Left Handed: left handed
*Right or Left Footed: Left footed
*Sexual Orientation: Homosexual
*Piercings/Tattoos: One piercing, and it's in my left ear.
*How many siblings: 1 Sister.
*Pets: 1 Cat, although I'd rather have a dog, but then again dogs scared me (shocking I know! :o)

FAVORITE…
*Kind of pants: Trip pants
*Number: 17
*Color: Blue
*Animal: husky/Akita
*Drink: Black cherry soda
*Sports: Hockey
*Juice: anything blueberry, or blue raspberry.
*Cartoon Character: Underdog (childhood hero)
*Scent: any kind of colone or stuff like that.
*Time of the Day: night time/ Wee hours of the morning)
*Car: Subaru WRX PRI rally edition.

HAVE YOU EVER…?
*Bungee Jumped?: Nope
*Sky Dived?: Nope
*Made yourself throw-up?: Yes
*Gone skinny dipping?: yes
*Eaten a dog?: Nope
*Ever liked somebody that you didn’t have a chance with?: There are two people, but it's w/e.
*Been in a mosh-pit?: yes
*Been on radio/television?: nope
*Been in a porno?: ^////^ home made ones, yes.
*Been high?: yes
*Been drunk?: drunk .... more like HAMMERED!
*Been on a plane?: nope
*Came close to dying?: yes
*Been in a sauna?: no
*Been in a hot-tub?: yes
*Swam in the ocean?: yes
*Fallen asleep in school?:yes
*Run-away from home?: yes
*Fell off your chair?: yes
*Sat by the phone all night waiting for a call?: nope
*Saved MSN/AIM conversations?: nope
*Saved e-mails?: yes



DO YOU…?
*Like to eat?: of course
*Like talking on the phone: yeah, if the person I'm talking to is someone I enjoy talking to.
*Care if different foods touch together on your plate?: No
*Get motion sick?: I get it is other people are driving, if I'm driving I don't.
*Eat healthy?: try to
*Have an addiction to anything? would have to say video games. =/
*Call people names often?: every day! Me and my roomie go back and fourth, but it is for fun.
*Dream in color?: yup
*Have a strange/bad habit?: not that I know of.
*Get turned on easily: yes sadly.
*Like your school/job?: I liked my school, wanna go back.
*Like filling out stupidly-long surveys like this one?: sometimes. Only when I'm bored.


WHAT IS/WHAT ARE…?
*Your good luck charm: my gold dime (yes a legit gold dime) And my mini quarter which is the size of a bebe.
*Your theme song: Six Degree's Of Inner Turbulence- Dream Theater. Its a legit 42 minute long song.
*The last thing you played with: Ps2
*The last thing you ate: Mac and cheese
*Items sitting next to you: Phone, T.V., Ps2, Macbook, bed, table, games, soda.
*The color of your underwear: Black
*Your greatest fear(s): Flying, and getting over being so shy around people *dies*
*A strange food you eat: never ate anything out of the ordinary.
*A strange drink you like: Garbage pale ( you'd know if you had one)
*The last thing to sleep in your bed: me
*Under your bed: The monster that will steal my teeth!
*Your funniest memory:
True story
My friend is horrible at shooting game, and he happen to be playing COD black ops at my house. Well needless to say the idiot throw out a frag grenade and ending up throwing it to high. Long story short he his the frame of the window he was throwing it out of and it came back and killed him. He died by his own weapons. lol
*The time you usually go to bed: 10:30 ish, sometimes I end up staying up to late though.


EVER HAD…
*Chicken pox: yes
*Stitches: yes
*Surgery: yes
*A broken bone: nope
*Love at first sight: yes

THIS OR THAT…
*Scary or Funny Movies: scary all the way, but I love my funny movies too!
*Chocolate or Vanilla: Vanilla
*Root Beer or Dr.Pepper: Dr.Pepper
*Skiing or Snowboarding: Snowboarding
*Summer or Winter: Summer


RANDOM!!!
*Dogs or Cats: Dogs
*Favorite Flower: Tiger Lillie
*Have you ever fired a gun?: Yup
*Do you prefer travel by plane or car?: Car
*How many pillows do you sleep with?: 1
*Obsessive Compulsive?: no
*Diseases?: none
*Disorders?: none
*Good Driver?: Yup
*Good Singer?: Dunno, if I sang for you would you like it? I'm not tone death.
*Do you own a lava-lamp?: use to. Don't anymore.
*Do you prefer your toilet paper over-and-out or back-and-under: Don't matter
*How many kids do you want?: none ( But then again if I could I'd like to have one son to pass on what I know )
*What will you name them: Toby (my mother wanted to name me that)
*Bothered that some questions have “:”s and others have “?”s?: nope
*Ever been in a fight with your pet?: nope
*What book are you reading now?: Python scripting online book.
*Interesting turn-on or fetish: Don't wanna answer this for all you perverts (everyone else who knows knows and that's it!)
*First thing you notice visually about someone of the opposite gender: Eye's, Hair, or voice.
*Foods that you LOVE: Chinese !
*That you HATE:

Fill this out out, I'll fill it out with a comment back here to you.

1) Who are you?
2) Are we friends?
3) When and how did we meet?
4) Would you kiss me?
5) Give me a nickname and explain why.
6) Describe me in 1 word.
7) What was your first impression of me?
8) Do you still think the same?
9) What reminds you of me?
10) If you could give me anything, what would it be?
11) How well do you know me?
12) Would you meet up with me?



NOW FOR THE SECOND ONE! *point in the air with a super gay pose*

Fursona name meme

A = French Kisser
B = Good Kisser
C = Will kick your ass
D = Very very easy for people to like you
E = Crazy as hell
F = Loves it hard
G = Can kick your ass
H = Freaking hot
I = Everyone's best friend
J = Hot
K = Crazy
L = Beautiful eyes
M = Very good kisser
N = Cool person
O = Different
P = The best at all sports
Q = An animal lover
R = Beautiful/handsome
S = Damn sexy
T = Easy to fall in love with
U = Will make you laugh till your sides burst
V = Most amazing kisser EVAR!
W = Makes people laugh
X = Never lets people tell you what to do
Y = Can be funny and dumb at the same time
Z = Loved by everyone



F = Loves it hard ( ^////^ They know my dark secret) hehe.

U = Will make you laugh till your sides burst ( I dunno about this one, but I've made someone laugh so hard they pissed themselfs once. :o )

S = Damn sexy ( I dunno, am I sexy?)

K = Crazy ( that I'm)

R = Beautiful/handsome ( Again I dunno if I'm beautiful or handsome..... am I)

I'm going crazy. That's all.

Recently I've been seeing life at a standstill, and it sucks! Well lets go back to my days of FF10 because that's where things went nuts.

Well mt convention for furfright 2010 was amazing to say the least. I got to use my fursuit for the first time ever at a convention, the only bad part about it is no one really got pictures of me or even noticed me that much which makes me come to believe that I'm very bad at making conversation or I'm just unnoticeable. :( I did get to hang out with the people I wanted, and sadly the one person who I didn't get to talk to who I wanted to was Ayulf. I wanted to talk to him more, and I did see him while I was in fursuit once. Also he did try to drag me somewhere when I was in the hallway, but I was nervous =/ fuck my life. Other then that it was a amazing convention.

November is where things started to get sucky!

Right after FF I found out my grandma wasn't doing well. I went to visit her at the hospital and I was alone when I went. When I got there she couldn't remember who I was, so I was crying hardcore Seeing here dying was eating me up badly because she raised me like she was my mother. Sadly short after she died, and I locked myself in my room for a week, it was hard to get over the death of her, and from time to time it still eats at me. She was truely the only person who understands me for who I'm.

Then the third week I was growing distant with my BF, and sadly that week we did break it off. I was very heartbroken and sad, along with confused because of my grandma dying and not being able to have someone close to talk to or be with at that time because of our distance. It was hard on both of us, and shit just seem to go in so many different directions that it made me fuck up a friendship with someone because they liked me, and I have a feeling I lead them on. :( I'm so sorry Zander.

(On a side note about all of that me and my Bf are back together again we fixed things because it was me being stupid)

Now lets skip to the month of December

A week before Christmas I had really bad side pains on night, and started to throw up blood. Well after nin hours of pain and finally going to the hospital I reailse I have kidney stones. The depression was killing me, and sadly with this it was just making me feel horrible and sick. Then Christmas rolled around and sadly I didn't go anywhere really just sat at home alone and kind of thought about shit, cried a bit that day too because of remembering my grandma and this being her fave holiday because she enjoyed the family being around.

Sadly the last thing she gave me reminded me that she knows me too well. She gave me a little fox plush, and she told me that I can have this because I'm the fox of the family. That made me smile a lot because she knew I was a furry.

Now lets go to January.

nothing much happen this month except I finally pasted my kidney stones thank god. this is where my life has came to a standstill again, and sadly being home from school makes me miss it. I wanna start college too, but I'm procrastinating like a bitch! I wanna be able to better my chances in life with the whole being jobless shit and stuff (oh yeah that reminds me I lost my job when I came back from FF) But back to the school thing I wanna be able to go and enjoy it. I wanna do something for computers seeing as I already have a certification in computer service repair. I wanna go for maybe computer science or computer forensic. Sadly not to much happening in that month.


Sadly I wanna be able to fix this problem and I dunno how I'm going to do it.

The one big thing that scares me is taking that leap into nothing and being able to build from that. I never had parents to help me with that, only friends and it is hard and different on me. The one thing that bothers me the most is the fact that I wanna be able to find a new place to live that is more open to jobs and a good college's. For that I would have to move somewhere and the first part of this problem which was just mention is what makes me scared to do it. I wanna be able to know that I can come "home" to somewhere. I haven't been able to be call a place home since I was kicked out at the age of 15 and living on and off with my parents.

Anyways that's all for now, any input is nice but not required. lol

So in other news because I've been wanting to do this. I quit smoking pot. =/ Yes I know, go and be a bitch because I smoke pot, well what ever. Hate me if you must for doing something "stupid". Anyways yeah, last night technically Tuesday I stop. I hope to keep it this way for a long time. Me and three friends are stop-ing, and I have a feeling those two will crack and go back to it, they are both addicted badly. Me, I just have to keep away from it and I'm fine, I don't "need" it like they do.


Now for the thing that pisses me off.
I let me friend use all my MP3 players, Ipods, ETC... But I finally got his ipod fixed, and I don't have one at the moment. I asked him to use it when I left him use all my stuff all the time, and even break one of them he has the nerve to tell me no because it is his Ipod. After the fact that I'd had just fixed it so it can work and play for him, some fucking friend right?

is looking for some extra cash, and to help her out she is doing really good commissions, you should go check her out.

yeah, I got one.

http://www.formspring.me/Fuskr

"Few people are man/woman enough to openly answer any and all questions thrown at them. Are you? Prove it. Copy/Paste this as a new journal entry and answer every question you get.
The rules are simple:

-You must answer every question you get no matter what it's about, and you must do so honestly
-There are no questions that can not be asked as long as they are within reason. They can be personal, about oc's, and every thing in between. Nothing Illegal."

And you guys can help out by going here and possibly ordering one.

http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/1996680/

So help a person out will ya?

Seriously, ever time I make a request and use my photobucket images (reason being is cause there copyrighted anime pictures cause I need them for the clothing idea and other things) people say they can't see them. :( It fucks me over, cause I can't do a description by word very well at all.

Well, I talked to a very wise person, one of my closet friends. He told me, what I needed to hear, and he is someone who understand me the most.

Thanks Kris <3

I'm going to give more details when shit get's back to normal for me, it's almost there. I just had to point out this because he is a very caring friend to me, and he has guided me through hell and back.

The last couple of journal entries I can't see any of the comments not even my own. It's kind of weird.

title says it all. I just feel like every time I do something it leads to nothing. I've finally gone off the deep end. =/

I really see no point to it. My body is trash, cause I didn't take care of it, and I look ugly anyways I hate my body, hate my lifestyle and attitude too, low self-esteem sucks.
I had a horrible Christmas, sat at home alone, till my mother demanded I go over there, which there was no point just to watch my step-father get drunk and my mom fall asleep, I hate them both so much, I don't even consider my mother a "mother" as all, she is shit.
I just want someone to be with, making that mistake was stupid, but oh well. I the two people I cared about totally fucking don't give a damn so fuck them, I hope they rot in fucking HELL, I'm sick of caring for people I get nothing but stress out of it, which is why I should just remain single. I'm to unstable for people to be around me, I feel like a isolated person about to snap and just start killing and not stop till someone puts a bullet in my head.
It's annoying me to no end how much I don't care right now, and I don't. I Don't even see a point to be here right now, or being alive even, do I interest someone's live, or even be notice, no, so fuck it. Not saying I Want to kill myself, but I just see no point to me being here.
everyone who I loved I pushed away because I don't like myself. I think I get what was said to me all those years ago..... maybe I do need to go find myself.
All I know is everyone seems to be giving me the same advice, and I don't want it, so fuck off! It doesn't work, and I see no point to it working. The only person who ever understood me, and could give me the advice that would help is my grandma, but she is dead so there is no point. She was like my cell, the person who could keep me clam and keep me from going over the deep end, but she is gone.


That's right, a lot of emo, oh well call me a emo bastard. I had the title once before because of a ex, might as well have it back right?

Just letting everyone know this is the worse Christmas ever. I Dunno if I'm even going to come back to FA. I'm done with how bad my life keeps on getting.

Yes, found out on Monday that I had one, and I'm in the process of passing it. Awesome enough though the meds they got me on + the pot they told me to smoke makes it feel like I have little to no pain which is great. Also my urine is now almost completely clear, which means it passed without me knowing, or I'm just really damn lucky. All I know is so far this has been the worse pain I've ever felt in my life time. On Sunday, I was in so much pain that I couldn't even walk or get up, and I throwing up blood on the hour. I finally got to the ER at 7 am, where they gave me some nice meds and I believe they broke it into pieces using the cat scan lazer thingy.

So yeah, this fox/husky is in a lot of pain. ^^''

Well lets see, all I want is one thing. To be able to have a place to call home.






....



...
...
...
..
...
..
.
and maybe a ps3. lol

Why, do my stupid emotions have to get in my way. I can't seem to get better, and frankly I think I don't care anymore. I need to get this sadness shit out of my head, it is effecting everyone else around me.

I just need someone to hold.

I've been wanting to do this for a while, but I've been slacking on it horrible.

I made the first even unoffically gaiaonline fan page site here on FA, so the gaian's of FA can have a place to meet and get to know other fur's.

here is the place.

 gaiaonlinefurs

I still need to get a good icon picture, and fix things up.

*sighs* Their is a lot of things that have still been going through my head. One of the major things is, if I really do want to move in with my parents again. I've talked to a few of my fur friends, and two opinions that I valued the most are Zander's and Renaux's. Renaux, said to me that I shouldn't cause my parents are obviously using me for something, and I have a feeling they are. Zander say's I should move in with them just in case I happen to become homeless. Going to my parents house means two things though, one means no internet, and two means no bringing home men, or even going out that much. Basically I'd have to live by their rules at the age of 24, that's what is bothering me about it.

Recently as most of my close friends know my grandma died, and it has hit me in a hard way. I did cry the night I heard it, but I didn't cry anymore after that. I want to let it out, I want to, but I just can't. I'd rather hold it in, cause it's just to much on me right now to worry and sit and be depressed. I have to go somewhere this Sunday to see the family, and I really don't wanna go cause I'm worried the family will just fight and I don't wanna get cough in the middle of that.


Also this thought has been running through my head the most, but I'm not going to directly point it out, this is more of a personal way of me letting this out. First let me start off by saying, Why can't I let go? It hurts so badly, and I had made up my mind when it happen. It just hurt so badly to see how I was hurting you from my point of view. Hopefully you will find the time to have wounds heal over and other stuff. We had a long good time together, and even before that as friends. I just have a feeling you were better off with someone else. I dunno what to feel anymore because I have mixed feelings about something. I guess it was me screwing up, sorry...... :(


I'm going to go on a rant here about myself. I hate.... no I Loathe myself. Nothing in my life has gotten me close to being happy, and when I did, I ruined it. Or I had it taken away from me. Their are times where I wish I just didn't exist cause my life is that horrible. I've even tried several times to fix and replace my life, but every time I did I fucked up. Can I die now please?

Anyways I'm sorry for being so depressed,emotional,w/e. Life is fucking with me badly right now, and I just wanna sit and cry in all honesty.

Sadly I just got the call not to long ago. It sucks she had to go, but she was suffering, and not to mention she lived a long life, dying at the age of 81. But the sadest part is, she was the cloest to me in my family, she was everything and understood me. I dunno what to think anymore my life has gone to hell, and everything is just coming on wave after another.

Day One: Ten things you want to say to ten different people right now.

Day Two: Nine things about yourself.

Day Three: Eight ways to win your heart.

Day Four: Seven things that cross your mind a lot.

Day Five: Six things you wish you’d never done.

Day Six: Five people who mean a lot (in no order whatsoever).

Day Seven: Four turn offs.

Day Eight: Three turn ons.

Day Nine: Two smileys that describe your life right now.

Day Ten: One confession.

---

Day Two: Nine things about yourself.

1. I have very low self esteem issues when it comes to talking to people.
2. I have a hole in my heart :o
3. My first sexual experience was before I was even a teenager. ( I oddly enough was in control of it, so it wasn't a bad experience)
4. I came from Spain. (At some point I'd love to live in Germany, or some places overseas)
5. I have a very high addiction to RPG games.
6. I get angry extremely quick, if I can't focus and things get out of hand.
7. I have self conscious issues with my Body, especially my dick, and my smile. =/
8. My middle name is Thomas, and I hate it with a passion.
9. I have a huge fear of the dentist, and needles. (Both turn me blue in the face, and I've even passed out one time cause of just looking at a needle.)

Day One: Ten things you want to say to ten different people right now.

Day Two: Nine things about yourself.

Day Three: Eight ways to win your heart.

Day Four: Seven things that cross your mind a lot.

Day Five: Six things you wish you’d never done.

Day Six: Five people who mean a lot (in no order whatsoever).

Day Seven: Four turn offs.

Day Eight: Three turn ons.

Day Nine: Two smileys that describe your life right now.

Day Ten: One confession.

---

Day One: Ten things you want to say to ten different people right now.

1. *sighs* Wish I could stop being such a shy butt face. I'd really like to hang out and be really good friends, but I'm just too damn shy. Hopefully, one day we'll be able to hang out and have a good time. Your a cool person, and honestly I never get to talk to you much online, but I know how busy you are at times, so I try not to bother you.

2. *Sighs* Vincent, we've been friends for a long time in my eyes, and your a epic person. You definitely know how to party that's for sure, and have a good time. Your really out going and optimistic, which I love cause you always help me through some very hard times. So I have to thank you for being their for me through some extremely hard times. Also I'm kind of sad cause we haven't been able to hang out lately, you call me a popufur, but you are the popufur, hehe. Hopefully you'll have time to remember your old fusky butt friend.

3. My fave wolfy, and not to mention one of my first friends in the furry fandom. I honestly love you to death, your like my brother, we've been through a lot, and yet some how I feel our friendship will last forever. I honestly like you for a lot of reason, one being able to make me more open and everything, especially when I was going through my hard times of my family coping with me being gay. You are someone who I look up to as well, and also we always have great times together, weather it be playing video games and being gods at RPGS like we always are, or like just being together and hanging out like at conventions. Thanks for just being their and putting up with me, it's hard to find people who can deal with me and my oddness.

4. Zander hun, the sexy kitty. I seriously wish I could make you happy in life, honestly I dunno how to do it though, and the only way I do know how is something that is to big for any of us to figure out how to do it. I hope your life does go in the direction it wants to go. Remember hun I will always be their for you when you need someone to talk to or a shoulder to lean on, seriously I'll always root for you, so you can strife on and life a good happy life. Their is so much I can say about you, and yet it's all good, and you always thing bad. Yes, their are bad times, but we always have good time, and I want you to keep a optimistic view on life cause things will get better for you. Humans all suffer from one thing, we don't understand one another, which is why I can experience the pain you felt in life, and the same with you, but maybe one day people can understand one another and things will get better. Remember you will always be with me, and when you feel like all is lost remember what I said to you, and keep that in your mind to keep you going, cause I want you to go and have a good life :) Also we shared some great memories together, especially with rock band 3 at ff'10.

5. HAHA! The sexy Lion! I could say a lot about you, but the one thing that we seem to have a common interest in is computers, but not only us too, but your husband too! We are one big happy triangle of computer loving furry geeks! But honestly you've shown me some of the coolest stuff EVER since I've started being friends with you. I'm pretty sure us three will remain good friends, not to mention you like to have a fusky butt over every now and then for your naughty needs. hehe Needless to say we'll let the fandom/ who ever reads this to let their imagination go in what ever direction it wants with that. hehe.

6. YAY HUSKY BUTT! <3 what can I say about you. Hmmmm, Well you are a awesome person, and seriously our friendship clicked like their was no tomorrow, and after we met RL, we became even closer friends which is always a nice thing. I hope we get to hang out more, I mean yes it will be kind of hard too, but we'll fine a way. Hopefully we will remain long term good friends, and hopefully you won't be lonely anymore. It hurts me to see you like that, all lonely and such. One of these days I will try to understand your pain, and understand your hurt, and longing lust for a near by mate, one that you can actually see.

7. SHAWNA CHAN! haha! God I remember first meeting you at Job-corps, and let me tell you, we are really good friends. I dunno how we got so close, but we both helped each other get through the horrible place we knew as West-over Job-corps! We've been through some rough times, but what I wanted to say to you was thanks for the memories! We had some good fucking times their like on pay day we would always get Chinese food with Nate and shit! HAHA very good times, and I hope I don't lose you as a friend.

8. Belic! YAY CON BEAR! haha, seriously though it was nice to get to know you over Silvermanes drawing sessions. I hope you did enjoy your con, I know I seriously did. Sadly we didn't get to talk much, but I hope that changes over the future. Until then keep furry! haha Home is where the heart is and FF is where that's at!

9. Ello Silvermane another cool wolfy! I seriously enjoy the time we have together over U-stream. Seriously always a good time, and filled with randomness. Hopefully were able to have more time to hang out and stuff. Cause I feel we could have a really good friendship together if we make it grow.

10. Finally the big badass tought guy know as my BF hehe <3 I love you hunny! But in all seriousness, their is so much I can say about you. All the good times we had together, and all the time we proved that with love and devotion that me and you remained strong even through were in a long distant relationship. I have a feeling we will be together forever, but yet at the same time I feel like I'm holding you back from so much more. Hopefully 2011 will be a great year for us. I hope we get everything working out right and we finally move in with one another. I love you so damn much, and you have no idea.

---

FINALLY DAY 1 DONE! that took me over a hour to do cause I had to think about what I wanted to say.

Well I'd have to say I love that game. I just got back into it, and to give my hands a test I did a song that was 25 minute long song, and only double A it though, sadly no triple A, but I haven't played in a while.


So how many of you play stepmania that I know?

That everytime I wanna talk to someone to be friends I can never do it. I get so nervous talking to people, not thinking that 'll fit in or anything, or even have anything in common. Their are a few people I'd love to talk to, but I'd probably be a wuss and not talk to them this FF. :(