well here we are ... i now have the PC I wanted (exception windows 11) but yee

need to set it up and shift everything to it then it will be able to do everything

workstation specs:

Threadripper Pro 64 cores 128 threads at 4.5 to 5ghz (if it keeps temps low)

128gb ECC RAM DDR5 at 5400mhz

RTX Pro (its basically a modern Titan card with 96gb VRAM running on a core like the 5090 but slightly beefier)

and a heap of NVME storage ... and a NAS

anyways yee ... the hope is it will work far faster than it ever has before

so this is kindof hard to say because i dont have it all ironed out ... but i will try to be as direct as possible

so ... when the first HTTYD film came out i saw it in theaters of course ... then again and again (etc) but while i cannot determine the exact spark and where it came from .. the first version of joannah was

entirely in my head ... fast forward a few months from that and i could not stop thinking of her .. a few high school art classes later and i was drawing her (alot) ... i was so fixated on her that i could not stop

drawing her (i even had dreams with her that felt more real than being alive) ... anyways ... some IRL heavy stuff happened and i ended up destroying 94% of the art i had of her (being all paper that meant

tearing it up) .. anyways fast forward again several years and i had not forgotten her entirely but i was losing it a bit .... several years later from that my grandma sold the house and this meant i had to move

which meant i had to clean out everything .... which meant i found a few un touched sketchbooks .... which had images of Joannah in them (interestingly Joannah is not the original name but its the closest echo

phonetically of what her original name was) ... these reminded me so heavily of her impact i had to make her in 3d ... so i did.. and here we are ... i will likely be making alot more content with her until either i

finish out the shadows of the planned story line or until the fire dies or i die

to everyone who has commented positive and helpful things i am very grateful to you all for helping me out of the shadows

eventually i plan to do more works and hoping people take me up on commissions (am always open and always dusting the shelves as it were)

please leave comments on my works as it helps alot

i look forward to see what i can make in the future :)

EDIT: Thank you everyone for the moral support as it did help heaps in pulling me out of the shadows

i will make more arts and potentially more animations as time flows on

---

while i am working to increase my output and have made some strides in that department i cant help but notice that people dont seem to be interested in my work

and if i went and did Joannah content would anyone even care?

would anyone notice if i just decided to sell off my hardware and nux my asset library (which currently takes up 2 tb of space)

while i might not delete the assets because some i consider special in their own rights even if i have not used 94% of the library i have ... what is the point of making more or getting more if people dont care..

i dunno...

is it just shadows in the dark ... or is there merit to my woes ...

anyways if people could just at the least comment on my works that does show its of worth in some small capacity

i am struggling heavily with feelings of ineptitude ... so sorry if my works fall below par compared to those who seem to somehow have the endless capacity to make new content or garner heaps of people who just are interested in their works

so i have had at least 3 people come to me for commissions or proposed trades only to have no basic questions answered and for them to flake out and leave the conversation at the merest thought of even committing to the commission

stop doing that ... i have a hard enough time maintaining a neutral or positive mental aptitude ... i dont need people flaking out or postulating the notion of getting a commission only to then bawk at a realistic

price:

"can i have a character be macro but also destroy a city but also have a full vore sequence... and can i have it for 20$?" ... no ... 20 dollars wont even begin to cover the cost of producing an animation

someone asked me if i take gift cards and i was polite enough to ask what kind only to be met with a PSN card offer (i dont and have not owned a play station since the PS1 came out and then was irrelevant all those years ago)

mild rant aside... i am open for commissions and will remain so but PLEASE ... be specific and direct ... answer questions honestly and ask questions of your own ... i cannot stress how much it genuinely depresses

me that people come to me for something and just flake out because the idea of elaborating is itself somehow too much to ask

in short here are my rules when it comes to comms:

have an idea in mind

ESTABLISH THE CHARACTERS AND SETTING (i am not going to spend mana trying to improvise something as that drains my capacity for base function)

ASK QUESTIONS and be ready to elaborate if questions are asked of you ... i ask questions to better get the direction desired when you are asking about comms and to understand the budget and modify the comm as per the budget... I CANNOT READ YOUR MIND

if people keep coming to me about commissions and flake out because the idea of elaboration is beyond you/them then i will have to eventually close comms and requests (yes i do requests if the request hits a note with me)

IF YOU ARE MAKING A REQUEST THE SAME RULES APPLY TO REQUESTS AS TO COMMS

while i know the christmas items i wanted to finish likely wont be finished now

i do know that i have the original images and the potential to work on them but there are too many shadows and brambles and so i cannot continue on them for the moment

working on clearing enough away to work on the animations that range from 70 to 90% complete

i love Joannah and wish she was in more things

working on a means to showcase her (character sheet) but am unsure where to start (personality traits need to be fleshed and ironed out)

anyways she has a few outfits (more coming when i figure out what i want her to wear)

and the plan is to eventually upgrade my PC because i dont know how to make the character look good while keeping under 6gb as even the laptop renders were pushed to their limits and that laptop had a 6gb gpu

anyways ... if people have requests or ideas (or wanna commission her doing something) please send a note with your request and budget :)

i cannot guarantee i can get to all but i will work on it :)

so things ...

lol anyways ... working on things

after i do a partial reset i will be working on the Roolets animation that was put on pause as my brain hit a snag

after that i will work on the Sisu noodles one

then other fun things

support me on Patreon or just subscribe to my youtube or whatever or not i dunno

anyways ye

need to get food so opening emergency comms for still images of characters in scenarios :)

can be NSFW or SFW

i have over 300 characters and several dozen location scenes to choose from (please discord me if you want one)

prices starting at 20$

cant seem to say the words right... anyways...

making clothes for characters seems to be rather difficult compared to what i would expect to do ... though if i "cheat" and rely on Simulation to fix any issue then i might run into the issue that it can double production time

i dunno... working on a solution but will see :)

aside from that and the Vram Limitation i think i am leveling up slowly enough to where i cant get overwhelmed

maybe in the comming weeks things will get better

ok so .. i keep seeing people say: "it doesnt matter what software you use" only for the market to be flooded with maya tutorials on professional grade animation only for Blender to be left in the dust (relatively speaking)

there is no direct professional (industry level) classes for Blender ... but there is for maya ... i feel that is not only wrong but unreasonable

then there is the excuse of: "oh its free for students" yea ... until its not and you are saddled with yet another subscription just to maintain use of the software

this combined with the fact that i currently have 1.3tb of files from characters to props to scenes For blender ... makes the notion i should just get maya and use it with the classes unreasonable

maybe its time for people to start allowing and accepting blender into the industry and slowly migrate to a more open platform so more people can learn animation at the professional level

while yes there is youtube tutorials on animation many of those cover small sections but there is NOT real story telling classes (tutorials) on youtube in a professional manner ... real education is bidirectional and NOT monodirectional ... youtube is mostly if not nearly entirely monodirectional and if one encounters a scenario or has a specific question related to the subject but not covered in the pre recorded perview .. then one cannot correct or address the issue or get feedback on the work done from a professional

i resent and detest the fact that people readily make excuses for maya as the mainstay without considering the fact that Blender can and should be considered the current and new mainstay as its free and readily accessible and can run on nearly anything

i would pay for a full semester of animation classes if they taught the class with blender as it has tools like the NLA editor among other things that maya doesnt quite have (like the use of Bendy Bones)

story telling can be done on any software but i dont have the capacity to relearn the basic bits (the buttons and hotkeys or subsystems that differ from blender) only to spend less than half the time learning what i intended to pay for to learn

ok so .... i have been finding that my MEGA video links are being used to distribute my content without my permission to platforms like youtube (see link below for a channel that stole my content)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mbj.....annel=CheilKei

this person stole my video and uploaded it to youtube

here is the official link below of which i posted in good faith assuming people would not have stolen it like charlatans

https://www.furaffinity.net/view/34390098/

my post is 4 years old while the video is 3 years old meaning some mongrel cretin stole my content and uploaded it without my permission

been debating for a while on this but am unsure ... parts of me want to replace Ponlets with Joannah as main or at the very least demote Ponlets to the role of the B character in favor of Joannah being the mains

so if future stories were made (videos images or comics) containing all characters ... Ponlets would likely rank 6 out of 10 but am unsure ... though it could be that i am pessimistic regarding Ponlets value as a

character ... would be nice to know if people like him or not

am unsure how to do this but likely wont put alot of thought into it until much later ...

am unsure...

well if you like Ponlets over Joannah .. let me know... will be making a Poll later on other sites that have that functionality

is it of value to anyone... will anyone care or notice if i ceased posting on the internet ...

is it worth it to keep going ... ... how do i know if i have made blunders .... how can i know if there are yet more blunders waiting in the shadows to come out and hobble any signs of hope or progress

... it takes great effort to spin my wheels .. but only a little bit of effort to cease them .... i make mistakes and can grow from them but i cannot be sure in most cases if something is a mistake if there is nuance to

the actions (i am a very literal person)

if i cannot kickstart my wheels into motion again i fear this might be the start of a long and slow burnout with a potential result of ceasing work entirely due to need of resources and income

if that eventually does happen i will make another journal ... but if i can kickstart my wheels i will hope i can end up fixing and making new things at a rate equal to or faster than previous works

ok so i will be moving house properly

most of my stuff is in a Uhaul and will be sent to a storage place as i float in the intermediate space between locations (in a hotel or similar that is cheap)

i am packing some files for storage and use into an SSD for use in my Laptop so i should be able to work while "on the go" but the laptop is limited in its... specs?

anyways its not as good as it could be but it is usable though might try to upgrade it to 32gb RAM instead of its current 16gb RAM so i can work with reasonable sized scenes and what not

HOPEFULLY ... in 10 days from now i should be in a new house and if that mark is hit i should be setup 2 weeks from now in the new house ... if i dont post an update journal in 3 weeks from this one then something else might have happened and things sank and alot was lost ... just putting this here so people can know about it if it happens or whatnot ...

anyways ... morbid thoughts aside ... i am bracing for the coming waves as the storm of uncertainty approaches ...

ok so we got approval for the park i am aiming to live in but then we have to now contend with offers from other interested parties ... yey ... bleeeeeeee

anyways

so i will be looking into houses that are cheap but it looks like a choice between the middle of nowhere and a mixed fixerupper in Hoquiam or some tosser lots in Aberdeen Washington

i hate this ... i just want to have one in the bag so i can start the move

i have enough money for escrow but i dont want to have to rent a hotel for a week or 2 just to hope the deal closes or whatnot

i will make preparations so i can work from the laptop in the meantime (if possible)

if all goes well i should be able to get something but i cant be sure ...

nearly there now ... well in the bureaucratic sense .. signing bits and hoping the managers are professional ... the first location is best in terms of location but a few qualms about the age and size of the house itself (the ceiling is 7 feet tall) ... its location is interesting and has its own private boat dock near a local body of water which is an odd plus

the other location (if the first fails) will be a bit farther north than i would like but its got its own draws and drawbacks ... anyways ... both looking forward to and against the move ...

so if i am slow its because most of my energy is spent into that

i hope to resume works on things after the move and that the internet is set to be stable and solid at whatever place i get

so i will be moving likely sometime in March and have been prepping for this for most of January and February

its been slowing me down alot more than normal because ... well .. i dont know... it just is..

anyways i will be hoping to have leveled out by sometime in April ....

glad to see they fixed it

might still consider moving to a different website but yee

since this site seems to work now i will continue to use it

NONE of the images are loading here so i will likely not use this site until they fix it

i dont know if its just me or if its world wide but i do know that i wont be using this site for posting or hosting future works

i have to now try to enter a form of power saving mode

i dont know how to describe it... i just know that because i am dead broke with several weeks left i have to cease most external functions to allow what food i have to keep me functional for the rest of the month

anyways ...

had to buy new glasses as the current ones are giving me migraines among other levels of discomfort and fatigue

please get a commission as i have them listed in my Commissions tab

i have about 120$ to last the month ....

please if you want grab a commission

Starting prices average out to 20$ per commission and only go up from there

discounts for the month of december at 20% and a further discount for patreon members of another 20% (with proof of current membership)

https://www.furaffinity.net/commiss.....ns/fuzzguy456/

Information on what all you can get is here ^^^

i could really use some christmas cheer

20% off all comms regardless of whatever it is

please lemme know if anyone wants one

please check my Commissions Tab Page thingy for more info :)

i will be doing a markdown on all commissions for the month of december using a random number picker from 10 to 50% for every commission

check my Commission panel

https://www.furaffinity.net/commiss.....ns/fuzzguy456/

i hope to get some during december :>