We have been friends for years, but lost contact. Their Discord and Furaffinity are gone.
I wanted to check up on them and reconnect but they just disappeared.
Are they okay? I'm fearing the worst.

I need new glasses, but I was fired from my job. They are scratched up and my prescription is old, making it hard to see. I am having trouble finding a new place of work so I currently I am turning fully to commissions for income for medical, bills, etc. So every dollar counts! Spreading it around helps too. <3

Commission info is here: https://embleerrahlee.tumblr.com/po.....sions-are-open

Or you can just shoot me a note of what you want and I can make you a quote!

Thank you for reading.

It is 10/9/2019. In short I have:

Cut all my hair off.

Turned 24 years old.

Lost 2 teaching jobs.

Given up on becoming a teacher. So I have been crying over two years of college wasted.

Gotten hired at a doggy daycare. I start that Tuesday.

Changed my fursona from a catbat to a wererabbit.

Realized I am genderfluid.

I can't believe it's been about 2 years since I've posted a journal. I really want to be more active on this site again. Need to actually put in effort in doing that. Get ready for a small art dump. I haven't really been drawing much due to my old job and school taking up 90% of my time and my Nintendo Switch taking the rest up.

Been really busy and quiet for a while now. Here's why: I've been trying to get my life in order.

Since getting my associates in history I quickly realized I didn't have my life under control. So this has been the year I've decided to try and get some stuff done. I've been going to the local technical college for a degree in education. $350 spent and six hours of driving lessons later I've finally gotten my license the week after turning 22.

I get along ok with the people in my class. I don't feel as lonely anymore. It's been hard and tough and I have cried rivers multiple times through all this. If it wasn't for my girlfriend I probably would have given up long before this point. But now I'm steps closer to moving out and it feels good.

has some cute YCHs to offer: http://www.furaffinity.net/view/22244991/

You should check them out.

didn't even get a call back from the library...
why do I even try? I'm just fucking worthless...

For a few months I have been wondering how to get into working at a library and my chance has arrived! My girlfriend was browsing the site to see upcoming events and when the library books they checked out were due when they spotted a help wanted ad for part-time workers.
I can't miss this opportunity! I've been considering being a librarian for a while now since I finally got to visit a public one. I have a huge passion for books and places that promote learning and exploring so this will be great.
Wish me luck.

As for classes, I barely scraped by statistics with a 83 (a B). To those that are good at that crazy math stuff you deserve a high paying job because I could barely understand what was going on. Only one more Spanish class and a class on research methods to go before I get my associates degree in history. I am turning in the paperwork tomorrow.
I have also been learning how to drive!!! And I've been going on major roadways, getting better every day. My grandfather fixed my car as a birthday present and its running better than ever.

Totally ready for fall. The fair is coming to town, the weather down in Georgia is slightly cooler (we're in the 80s now), Halloween is on its way, and pumpkin spice everything.

Doing my best and getting a little better. I'm still struggling mentally, but if I get this job and have the ability to drive then maybe I can get to some sort of therapy. Here's to hoping for the best.

I really need money. Please.

guess who has two thumbs and just wants to die?
me!

I really want to save money to move out of my home and into an apartment with my girlfriend. I really want to leave home for personal reasons I really do not wish to get into. I want to be useful and actually be earning money and being helpful.

I'm still open for $10 fully shaded headshots.

And of course my commissions are open: http://www.furaffinity.net/view/17283391/

Every little bit counts.

Would anyone be interested in fully colored and shaded head shots of your character/fursona for only $10?

I really need money. I need to save for some sort of therapy so I don't end up in the hospital or worse.

It'd mean a lot. I really need help but I can't afford it. I don't have a job due to mental issues that need therapy and therapy/medicine costs money. So it's an awful cycle.

Boost? Maybe? Please...

List of problems with laptop:

-slow to first start google chrome.

-Has trouble connecting to wifi. Literally not letting me access wifi on it at times.

-won’t let me look at windows updates. When I pull it up it says it’s not responding.

-somehow my new xkit is gone???

-has trouble connecting to wifi when I first get on

-says I have no adminitrative access when I first booted up

I’m wondering if I should just scrap this one and get a new laptop…?? I’ve had it since the summer of my sophmore year of high school. And it’s had problems a lot…

I just don’t know what to do. I’m stressed. I have commissions and art trades and god knows what else.

My laptop is fucked up. I’ve had it for about 5 years. So I guess the poor dear has reached it’s expiration date.

I can’t have a desktop sadly due to needing something to take with me to college plus no room to keep it in plus no way to get the internet modem to plug it in.

So, I need a laptop that can run a wacom tablet, paint too sai, photohop for art stuff. And be able to get google chrome. And maybe windows 10??? I should probably keep up with current windows so windows 10.

I need to make this decision asap cause of school.

I have about $700 to spend…but I’d prefer not to spend all of that..I have no job. The only money I get is through commissions, birthday, etc.

Please no Dell. I have problems with Dell. The computer I have is a Dell. I’m thinking HP? How good are those?

Did anyone else see The Lion Guard: Return of the Roar?

It was really good and I am super excited for a new Lion King series!

Due to recent events I'm trying my hardest to save up to leave home. Leave home and go where? I do not know yet. But I'm trying everything possible. I have been passive aggressively informed that I am a burden and am pretty much not a daughter anymore.
So please consider getting a commission.

Prices listed here: http://www.furaffinity.net/view/17283391/
Note me if interested.

So I turned 20 on Sunday. I've just been so busy with college stuffs that I forgot to mention it. Whoopsies.
Wow. I'm now 2 decades old. That's very interesting since I never thought I'd make it this long due to stresses and depression. I do not feel much different but it's still so wow.

Had a nice day Sunday. I ate hot wings till I made myself sick and had a really nice cake. Very accomplishing feeling for this pudgy catbat. ^w^

My laptop is probably close to its breaking point. I've had my Dell laptop since the end Sophomore year of high school. I've used it quite a lot for art and projects. Ever since I downloaded Windows 10 it's been acting weird. I really do not know what to do...so I suppose the best thing to do is get a new one and transfer files and such.

So suggestions for decent laptops?

Also, commissions are still open: http://www.furaffinity.net/view/17283391/

I'd really appreciate some so I can afford to actually buy a new laptop. I use the laptop for art and college work so it's really important to me.

I'm opening 5 slots for commissions. Please refer to this submission for prices: http://www.furaffinity.net/view/17283391/

I'm still working out prices and stuff, but when making a paypal for commissions for FA and such do you make an account under a personal paypal or a business paypal? I'm really feeling it's personal, but I just want to be sure. Many of you have so much more experience than I do. If you have any advice to give, it'd be really appreciated.

I kinda like this beta. It looks really nice and is pretty friendly with mobile. I am excited to see the finished result.

People keep saying "Just keep up hope. Just keep strong." Hope does not exist. It creates an illusion. Hope makes up the band-aid over a wound that needs stitches. Hope creates temporary relief.

I am dealing with a lot of bad moments right now. Whether you can see it or not. Parents fighting. Mom giving up hope. Personally me giving up hope of everything. Nothing will be ok.

Was supposed to do this on Tuesday but I forgot. 0w0; so if you'd like to ask my fursona anything then go ahead. Feel free.
I'll answer them when I get home from my classes.

I'm now 19...last year as a teenager. Usually around birthdays I can never tell that I've gotten older, but when I sit down and think about it, I really have. I'm still a little kid at heart. I have matured a lot though and have learned how to deal with certain things in my life.

I'm a grown up...that's a scary thought.

So I can't get into college until next quarter. My dad had me drop all my classes because none of us can pay over $1600...Now I am behind my graduating class and I feel absolutely worthless. My parents are fighting over whose fault it is. I feel like an idiot...

I'm applying for at least part time work and I guess I'm just going to have to figure out how to drive in the next 8 weeks...

I'll try to push my mom to get me a bank account so I can start commissions here. They'll be cheap. Maybe $10 at the most for anything. For fetishy stuff I love fatfur, mpreg, and pregnancy so keep that in mind. But no dicks or vaginas...

Now if you'll excuse me I'm going to organize everything in my closet then take a 100 year nap...

This is sort of depressing so if you don't want to listen to me whine don't read.

Every time I eat I am in serious pain so I try not to eat as much, but yet I keep gaining weight. I don't like it one bit...There are rolls on my neck and my stomach is growing outwards...it's awful...
Between my parents discussing how f*ed up I am and my weight my self esteem has hit rock bottom and my depression has reached an all time high. I can't enjoy time with my mate because I'm upset and miserable 24/7. I never tell him the whole story because I don't want to scare him or bring him down. My last 2 relationships have ended due to me "talking it out" like they wanted. So I give him the petty problems. "It's ok dear, my tummy will get better one day" "mom's just being rough on me today" "Kids at school have a sick sense of humor" "I ate lunch alone". I just can't tell him everything....

I haven't been able to draw all summer. Either I don't feel like it or I have no idea what to draw. My hands won't work.

My deviantart and tumblr are going awful. I'm being snapped at or being dragged into uncomfortable situations and fights...

It just hasn't been a good summer and now I'm struggling to get into a college. Too much paperwork and foolishness. The stupid bitch didn't get my application and now I have to take a math placement test because I made 20 points too low on the SAT. This is ridiculous. It makes me not want to go to college....

I finally graduated from high school. No more dealing with ignorant, judgemental students/faculty. I can live the rest of my life from now on, starting with college and then hopefully traveling. But first I have to pass that driving permit test.
I graduated with honors and I finally feel like all my hard work has paid off.

I plan of trying to get a job at a local comic book store called Vigilantie (sp?).

My German shepherd, Stitch, passed away 2 weeks ago. I miss him dearly...

That is all. I owe Hay some art. Anyone else? I'm pretty sure that's it.
Have a nice life everyone.