Now that I've freed up some more time with a new job schedule, I'm wanting to come back here and do more art. Also been needing a way to just relieve stress by drawing too haha. Either way, studying and work are good, but I look forward to pushing myself on getting better over time with art too.

Hey there! Been a while since I said something here.
I've been wondering though if anyone would be interested if I opened for commissions? Of course I would update the pricing and such to reflect current times, but I've been kind of debating on whether I should open them or not. Sometimes I feel afraid that I wouldn't be going fast enough or that there wouldn't really be any interest. Though again commissions do really help me try and practice with my art more and give me a chance to even try new things and improve on them, they also help a lot with some expenses that I need to cover every now and then.

So what do you think?

Haven’t been posting a lot lately and I really should, just college and work taking a lot of my time -w-;;

However, I’m now officially 22 uwu

So it’s been a while since I’ve really spoke my mind and gave an update to how I am overall.

Lately I’ve be kind of wanting to say that I’ve made a decision for myself that I’ve already put a lot of thought into, like years of thought, weighing in the pros and cons, even mostly planning how I would do things. But I’d like to say that I’m officially an IRL gainer.

Of course there are some people who know this already who are pretty close to me. But I feel like I should make this a bit more open instead of just feeling somewhat anxious wondering what people would think about me all the time. After all I’m doing what makes me happy overall, I am by no means going to just over exaggerate anything consistently to the point where it becomes an annoyance to others.

Anyways, what got me to this point mostly started when I first began high school, I was curious and I used to be quite a big eater, though I was always kept on a diet and was pretty overall active but as years passed I did put on some weight. I didn’t think much of it though it was pretty satisfying say the least when it came to just not being way too thin and hungry most of the time. I was around 178 at the time and was still overall fit, though that changed when I graduated high school and got to spend my summer in a college dorm. Used some of my extra funds wisely and ate extra about every day that could do so. Even had some encouragement at the time. By the end of the summer semester I was about 205 after several months of being there. The extra chub did feel nice, though having to move back with parents for financial reasons had me falling back to 184 and it just seemed off to me and not really as enjoyable when I felt that I’ve lost the weight. While I was in fact disappointed I didn’t let it get the better of me. I still had some supportive friends, and could still use my character as an outlet for such interests.

Then as soon as I turned 20 the pandemic really started to take hold and lockdowns really became a thing. Being stuck inside and not having been doing much other than switching to online classes, I slowly ate more. Getting up to 220, the feeling rather satisfying and enjoyable as it made me feel comfortable overall. Though of course the extra weight didn’t go unnoticed with my mom, and soon enough I was back down to 184. It was getting to a point in the pandemic where I was getting frustrated mentally was going through a bit of a burnout, then I remembered discussing through about floating the idea of moving out. It took a lot of planning and a ton of arguments, several months of planning but I finally managed to pull it off soon after I turned 21 having a sweet roommate with similar interests.

Of course, I loved my parents very much and I always will given how much they’ve cared and supported me. Though I very much needed the space since I wanted to start exploring more and do more. And that’s what I’ve done these past several months up to this point. I’ve had quite a lot of fun, meeting new people, making choices that I thought were for the best. So far I’ve gained over 100 pounds since moving, from 180 to 281. While of course very rapid, I took it a bit slow since I felt like the diet I was on wasn’t really something I should stick with in terms of being cautious with health. Not going to lie though being a lot more chubby, well more closer to just fat at this point, I have not had any regrets by far. No health issues or anything, making sure I keep up with exercise and just overall enjoying the extra pudge I’ve accumulated. My mom was quite shocked at first when it came to visiting for Thanksgiving, I mean 281 pounds is not really something I can hide, although she still loved me, she still was concerned with my diet and overall health, which was understandable as I was thinking the same way. So soon after that talk I begun doing some research, going through forums and peer reviewed research papers, basically noting down findings and certain food benefits, eventually finding a diet that seemed to suit other gainers quite well with the information that another person was describing.

Seeing how massive others have gotten with this semi-keto-ish diet, I’ve basically started to fantasize being bigger, of course accepting some risk as this is probably the route with as much minimized risk I can get. However, this would mean with every milestone I pass, there’s a good chance I will not be able to turn back as the weight is more than likely to stick.

So then that bring us to the choice I’ve made now which is to go through with it all and just keep gaining. Of course I do cook so I’m enjoying a lot of new recipes associated with the diet, and I’m overall enjoying myself having fun just enjoying the wobbly feel of my body, even finding some uses I didn’t really think about much often. I’m getting close to 300 at the this point, still wondering how big I’ll get overall, though I suppose I’ll know when I reach it.

But yeah this is pretty much what I had to say, just thought I’d just say this instead of just keeping all this in the back of my mind. Mostly cause I had some people ask already plenty and I just think this would answer all that. If you guys have anything you wanna say, feel free to comment below. Any opinion you have is fine really.

Me going through an art block and being frustrated with not being in the mood to draw even though I have ideas. When will it end? xwx

Well, I wasn't expecting coming back after so long of just leaving my profile to abandonment, seeing my old art is quite a shock to me on how much I've improved over the years. Though yeah, I'm coming back here cause I feel like I should try establishing myself more here, get to know more people and just develop my character along the way. I've been through so much since leaving here that I really want to get caught up again. So in this case, I'll be posting new art and art that I've done over the past as a way to do so. As for the current years old art, I'm going to leave them here since I feel like it should be a testament on how I've improved my art style. Hope to interact with more people here again! :3