Well its been awhile since ive been on here.... figured I might as well share some updates.

While i know my past journals have not really been the cheeriest but a year without posting and same without art kinda sucks
So i ll just correct that now.

Covid 19 aside from getting laid off and then back on with work hasnt stopped me much.
Biggest obsession right now is Dnd...... i will talk your ear off about it....
Art..... has been slow....but i wont be doing makeup again. i wanna focus on making illustrations to hopefully be good enough to commission....someday.

BIGGEST UPDATE:

CURRENTLY MAKING TWO COMICS!

1 is getting a furry version and the other is getting a sorta.... stylized manga version.
the other is going to be a series.

The one i currently have atm im working on is called The Climb To You.
The main character loses a friend awhile ago but has unresolved grief. some mysterious thing comes to him and tells him if you want to see them again then climb to the heavens to see them one last time.

The other is a series called The Disturbed Neighbors. i will leave it at that

Anyways take care and wash your hands.

Akanite

not going to FE for those asking and not really expecting to go back with some rumours ive been hearing around about myself.

Furry drama at its finest for sure.... heh fuck...

Ive been noticing a lot and around in both irl and on the internet of people trying to promote the idea of a perfect society and utopian future... This scares me for two reasons. 1) The very idea of utopia is not a cohesive idea or belief because people have different ideas of what a utopia is. The concept of a perfect society is with in definition but what it looks like, how it acts, how the people are has not manifested. 2) What the manifestation of a utopia and how its brought into the world... This part scares me because all of it is unknown... however like history and it has a habit to repeat itself and if it does..... Then the option is more likely to be blood shed.... And what Utopia by the forms i listed seems to be synonymous with conforming, assimilation and control. However there is something i have always believed, Coexistence. And it seems to be synonymous with tolerance and harmony.... Im not much into philosophy but a weird thought i had.

going to MFF who am i going to see there?

I won't be in suit nor really doing anything special.

So if you see me... say hi..... i ll be drawing mostly somewhere in the space.

Or wandering around..... i dunno find me or i ll find you...... 83

Working on movies.

Got rid of a lot of friends irl.

Trying to get my film union so i can access bigger movies.

Thats all.

To make it short cause i don't really wanna waste anyones time with things that don't pertain to them.
over the course of somethings I've been engaged with getting a new job and getting a few things here and there.

However irl its not really all whats its cracked up to be.
Ive recently done a lot of cleaning in both social, personal and spiritual things in my life where i feel a bit better.
However I've been thinking to myself pretty hard and I've noticed a change with this.
Being friends with some people who have no aspirations to be something better then they are.... just shows how much of myself just dragged down.
Until one night under some influences i saw what i could be... and I'm not now I'm doing it. my life feels a bit better and this coming july is going to be my chance at something better.

don't worry I'm still myself. but this time minus the depressive bullshit and no weights this time.

Akanite~

My Feels.... T^T

Lately ive been getting requests to go to FE
Im not going so stop asking or telling me that i should go.
Work isnt giving me the time and i already made the commitment that i wouldnt be this year.
Sorry but not sorry. Shouldnt be anyones business anyway.

Akanite~

Cause honestly with the way how things are going now 2017 is gonna be an amplified year of bullshit
.....and more bullshit

Because lately everyone i seem to know irl has gotten more sensitive
To laxed to the point when something comes up its a crisis

And a bigger one where shit i used i to say with friends now suddenly im told to shush because its just wrong, offensive or just "dumb" or not interesting anymore.

Constantly being told of new things that do nothing more then create a dissonance on unintelligible conclusions that i feel the need to create dialogue with people in order to understand these new concepts. But then i get told to shut up.

So am i mad for that? Yes i am. constantly being told to be silent where mere disagreements with certian things and i get called every buzz word in the book and when i have only been civil.

TLDR: Dont censor language around me, cause i wont do it to you. Also Toughen up a little.

This vid.....silences this whole election.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6a7nHdTwu7Y

Trump got into office....and? what has happened so far?

The Left has practically shitted themselves left thier safespaces and has gone on a rampage with protests, riots, violent acts, suicides and the usual sjw bullshit.

All because the man who deemed:

Homophobic
Transphobic
Misogynist
Racist
Ableist
and all the other buzz words that the left has literally popularized to define anyone as these.
Media went to predict that hillary has already got it.....until

DONALD J TRUMP GETS WINS THE ELECTION!!!!

This is what is called The flip. Essentially its an outcome that has already been predicted but at the most opportunist moment the flip becomes not in the favor for those who were for the predicted.
This had so many people from different walks of life astonished, and everything..... and im going to say this right now.

America......is this how you heal?
You divide yourself up? You scold and violently beat the person who didnt have your choice in mind? You savagely spit your toxic bullshit to others? Spam on twitter how much you hate him? Slice your own necks to because something didnt go your own way? And finally...making yourself.....look like a bunch of anarchists rioting around?

The first thing i want to say is that nothing happened yet when the ball gets going then define your opinion from there. The rules that were enlisted before cant be shattered but it turns out that Trump is aware of these issues that everyone is concerned about. But to revolt now? Seriously? your just asking for more problems that you wont able to fix unless the outcome of it is good. Revolutions are only as stable as if there is a good long term plan set in place that make the country prosper....

Am I supporter of Trump....im not but i like the idea of Identity Politics grazing down a bit that the democrats have used for awhile.

So with this said....if you want America to heal. Then strengthen yourselves. Because what the left has down was infantalize you to the point where you needed to be controlled safe spaces, solcial justice and offensiveness. It was easy to coddle you to make you look protected, until now look you grown up and now the right is in charge and you dont know what to do. So raging and fear mongering is what you? A tantrum? The right is only going to pull you over thier knee and give you the biggest wakeup call ever. which come of you really really need!

If you think im right wing im actually Centrist.

and finally........YOUR GOING TO BE OK!!!
The power is in you the people, not Trump. Trump is essentially your represented body and your the brain.
You are going to be fine and your going to be ok.

Akanite~

Fuck no.....

and i never will be.

Political correctness the way how it is has controlled people on the way they talk
political correctness has shut the masses of people having a free form of expression.
political correctness doesnt value respect, but merely shuts down voices of people of expressions
political correctness has enforced a dichotomy of people from extremes of right and left
political correctness has created nothing but authoritarianism throughout the world.

political correctness.....does not value your rights or your freedom

You dont have to be politically correct to be kind
you dont have to be politically correct to show respect
you dont have to be politically correct to show a concern
you dont have to be politically correct to express yourself

you have the freedom to say whatever you want.
you have the freedom to be offended
you have the freedom to question ANYTHING!

Just be kind, respect, and be responsible
free speech is in you but your actions require a few matters.

Akanite~

Considering when my problems are just re hashes in my life..... but yea they effect me more then i would like them too.

Ive been pushed to try and make my life better and un-apologetically doing so.
But i thought at what point can i take a break and just breath?
When i find stability?
When i find someone compatible with me?
When i retire?
When i die?

I dont really know and i guess ill never really know.
Im more or less just tired of keeping up with a lifestyle that i rarely have a control of whats to come.
basically ive been instilled with this " You have to do this now." kind of attitude...
sadly anyone who knows im pretty easy going person. im not really the type to rush into anything.
i guess im an enigma like that....but i dont really care....

Working 2 part time jobs where i quit one today just to save myself from mental stress. Which ive been under alot.
Mostly from trying to get my career in makeup off the ground more. some family, some friends but mostly its my own internal struggles that i cant really handle.

i guess the reason for this journal was just to get something off chest and throw it into the abyss.
Well.... i guess i ll do whatever i need to do to get better.... and thats that....

Akanite~

[] You meow/bark to get attention.
[] You find pets toys amusing.
[] You get hyper by the smell of catnip.
[] You growl/hiss when someone gets too close to your food.
[] You growl/hiss when someone you dislike is too close to you.
[ ] You purr/shake your leg when someone shows you affection.
[] If someone tosses a ball, you chase it and bring it back.
Total:0

[] You love to be scratched behind the ear.
[x] You love fish/meat (FEED ME!!)
[] You like to stick your head out trough the window of a moving car.
[] You like when people pet your head.
[] People can make you stop by hitting you on the nose with a newspaper.
[] You think feathers are fun to play with.
Total: 1

[] You sleep a lot during daytime?
[] You enjoy scaring birds.
[] You lick peoples faces to show you like them.
[] You bite people if they annoy you.
[x] You tend to steal food from your friends/family's plate when you have eaten all of yours. (Im a fatty ok....)
[] Milk or water is your favorite drink.
Total: 2

[] You own a collar and you enjoy wearing it.
[] You own a leash and enjoy wearing it.
[]You own animal ears/tail/paws or a fursuit.
[] You enjoy long walks in the park
[] you meow/bark when you see something you want
Total: 2

[] You call your hands and feet "paws".
[] You tilt your head when you do not understand what someone is talking about.
[] You run to the door when someone mentions a walk.
[] You really enjoy cuddling!
[] You stretch your body and whimper a bit every morning when you wake up.
[x] you can wake up and go back to sleep right away after looking around
Total: 3

[] You have your favorite spot besides your bed where you like to sleep.
[] You meow or bark very often.
[] You hide when you get scared.
[] You run to the door to see who it is every time someone comes in to the house.
[] You like to chase flying insects and try to catch them with your bare hand.
[] You tend to chew on stuff a lot.
[] You like to do tricks to get a treat.
Total: 3

[] You own a wearable item/tag with your name on it.
[] You refer to your self as an animal.
[] Your username has something to do with animals.
[] Your e-mail has something to do with animals.
[x] If you get a bleeding wound, you lick it to make it feel better.
[] You look for edible stuff often.
Total: 4

[] You often find yourself looking through the window for a long time.
[] You like to say hi to strangers.
[] You like to be pet when you have done something good.
[] People think you act like a pet.
[] You growl/hiss at stuff you do not like.
[] You like to eat grass.
[] If you get wet, you shake to get rid of the water.
Total: 8

Final total: 4 pts

Take your score and multiply it by 2
4x2=8%
Put your title as "I'm _% Furry

There is a willingness in me that has a sympathetic and empathetic feeling but lately its been getting bashed out of me for people who cant even function without someone to tell them every hour that everything is alright.
And i find people take advantage of others especially the ones who have this nature in them to coddle their feelings.
If your someone who cant function without someone catering to your feelings then you SERIOUSLY need a check up... Friends can only do so much for you before they break and leave you in the dirt.
You are your own person and you have to stand on your own 2 feet. as well....take the advantage about therapists.... and helplines they are there for you.
Society isnt gonna cater to your feeling and some friends wont because they got thier own demons to worry about.
So why add yourself to thier issues? because your scared to visit therapists? If you tell me that your scared to visit one then im gonna be the one to tell you that you probably need to. The reason why i will say it is because i may not have the answer you seek. And usually when i say it shows i do care.
Friends dont have the answers to everything. And neither do I.
So no i will not coddle someone or thier feelings if they over use me to the point where i get fed up.
I will tell you something as best as i can but its your choice to take it or leave it.
Dont make excuses for yourself.... the only excuse should be is " I dont know where to go." That i will point you in the right direction or at least try to.

.......What the Actual Fuck.....

When i hear people say " Check your privilege " makes me want to question thier levels of intelligence. Privilege is a special right, advantage, or immunity granted or available only to a particular person or group of people. This is something that can be revoked by the person who gave you this. Are you fucked in head? You have freedom and rights. Not fucking privileges. do you want to say you live in a communist based idea way of thinking? saying that someone just proves how your own life is. Apathetic and not willing to change to better yourself.

A privilege is having a driving license, is having to stay in someone elses in your house. Both can be revoked if you decided to do something shitty.

So actually think freely and question everything no matter how offensive shit is.....
And take control of the life your given. If you say its impossible...you need a slap to get your senses straight

Akanite~

Ohhh I'm gonna be ranted to death on this but here goes.

I don't see the point in trying to make documentaries about the fandom in this day and age. Maybe to keep an updated thing but honestly nowadays people make them to justify a certain episode and media slamming we got along time ago. The fact is the more keep doing these just proves were like a hoarders problem. We can't let shit go. Justifying what the fandom is and all. But honestly there have been so many done I can barely keep track. If your so hooked on the idea of media slamming us which happens also to other fandoms that u feel the need to make another documentary which to the public that doesnt mean Jack shit then please do so cause in my eyes it's a waste of time. Just do u and fuck everyone else. That's a mentally we all need anyway. Instead we have a generation of emotionally strung out people.

~Akanite

To the people who bitch and complain about not being able to draw well.

FUCKING PRACTICE THEN!!!!

C: I dunno where to look
A: Google how tos!!

C: I'm not good like this person.
A: Yet.....

Fucking practice that's all expriment and shit.

I will literally say here it and now.
To people who claim they have a rival or a friendly rivalry im gonna call you out on this.

YOUR ONE JEALOUS FUCK!!!!

Seriously.... to declare rivalry on someone its complete and utter bullshit....i understand you wanna try and be better then the person who you feel hinders your way. But remember both of you have strengths in areas where the other doesnt.

The only rival shit you should compare yourself to is your past self.....Your past defines who you are right now.

SO FUCK OFF WITH THIS WHOLE SHIT!!!!!

tl;dr: fuck off with rivalry
stop comparing yourself to others and initiating your better
jealousy doesnt look good on you

So this past convention has made me notice something about myself.
Lately all I do is seemingly care for others... and slowly its brought me to this.
I can finally say it.

I Dont Care.....

I dont care what people say about me
I dont care if people want me to do things free
I dont care what people think of me
I dont care if im alone.

Heres why....

I dont care what people say about me cause hunny your not here. your over there.
I dont care if people want me to do things free because chances are im not going to do it anyway.
I dont care what people think of me. its your thoughts i cant hear them. and if i do please go ahead and tell me so i can go on my way
I dont care if im alone. I spend all my time alone and i dont get lonely. so if you wanna leave me from hearing bad shit about me no matter how minor then go ahead.

I dont care thats the very foundation of everything here.
Every bad comment is my own gasoline to exceed further then you.
My fuel is not to be you. a poisonous mind with stupid shit around their head.

( This isnt about the dance comp and stuff incase people were wondering)

Time and time again
i hear people saying i got no talent or this person has no talent blah blah blah
same shit different story.

I just want to remind people that talent isnt earned. Its gained
if people possessed both the same talent its on skill that defines who is better.
but to say you dont have talent is completely stupid!!!

People have different skill sets and different levels of it. But its all the same thing.

If you go around to bolster about it then seriously your just a show off. A cocky show off who gains nothing at all. The next time you see that person they will be better then you so mark your shit on that.

Akanite

Where are you staying?
Main Hotel

What day are you getting there?
Actually Im leaving Tuesday... to show up for Thursday....what i need supplies O.O

Who will you be with?
Friends.... People.....

Will you be fursuiting?
YES!!! 8D i ll be suiting around as Lost

What is your gender?
Male. or depending what you call me is what you get from me :3

How old are you?
close to having a quarter life crisis

Can I talk to you?
SURE!!!!! i can finally socialize with real people!!!! besides talking to a chair

Can I touch you?
Touch me i touch you :3 However if you poke me in the stomach....expect your finger broken

Can I hug you?
Yesss you can but dont lift me up....if i allow you too

Photographs?
I am a model whore so go ahead 8D

How can I find you?
Im everywhere. but if you looking for me just shout around and you ll find me :3

Which suit(s) will you be bringing?
Lost...because sergal

Are you taken? Are you looking for a mate?
Complicatedly mated to single but not looking at all either

Can I visit your room?
i perfer if you didnt know where im sleeping but if you want makeup done for the raves sure :3

Can I hug or snuggle with you?
Hugs yes but snuggles i dont do.....very selective

Are you nice?
Im an ass but in a nice way.

How long are you going?
Monday.... :3

If I see you, how should I get your attention?
wave a bag of candy or hold up lip gloss :3 i ll be right behind you

Where will you be most of the time during the days?
EVERYWHERE!!!!!!

What/where will you be eating?
Everywhere......im like that annoying person at a buffet

What’s your goal for the con this year?
HAVING FUCKING FUN!!!!! WHAT ELSE!!!!!
Emphasis on fucking because im gonna get FUCKING KRUNKED this year!!!!! if allowed XD

Hey guys

So heres an update for everyone. Whos been wanting more effects out of me. Recently
ive been wanting to do Foam latex prosthetic pieces for a long time however this stuff requires an oven to bake it and i wasnt gonna subject my own oven to it cause of how toxic the material is . But to make worse. foam latex is really unforgiving. But i found a different route to make them kinda the same way but minus the baking :3

I ll be able to make monsters finally!!! 8D
Staaaaaay turned

So my moving plans to Toronto might be changing for the simple fact that. If i want to get on to bigger movie features Im gonna have to move somewhere where the hiring rates are almost instantaneous. So i ll be moving to the West Coast in Vancouver. Unless somethings change for Toronto then I ll do but with the current of things right now Im looking towards the West.
So lets see how things play out.