Honestly, I don't know what's going on anymore
I mean it's fine but it's weird
I geuss i'mma just let things happen
See what comes from it

Literally couldn't have even a week of peace without "getting into trouble" again
Well its not really trouble
It's Dumb Drama

Didn't think I'd be placing this publicly
But here I am
So like
 Theelusiv
Used to be someone I cared about alot
Well that was until i started maturing and realized
Stuff
Bad stuff
The Abusive kinda stuff
I don't care how this might sound but
From experience
I'd call him an Emotionally Abusive Prick
And I mean that's mostly on him
He brought this on himself

First of
Telling me
People were actively avoiding me
Because im different (Neurodivergent)
Wich made me "Annoying" as he said
Doesn't top all the shit he's called me
Here's everything
- a deaf cunt twice
Then when I asked him to stop
"Then stop proving me right" he said
- an emotionally frail angry asshole
- a twat
- shit for brains
- a two-face (unrightfully)
And just like
A bunch of other stuff
plus the fact he decided to give me a false sense of hope by saying
"Go get someone else to tell me to unblock you"
Wich i ended up finding out was a lie

And there's the part where he got upset at me
for standing up for myself
That's the most idiotic reason I've ever seen someone be upset at someone else to be honest
Well it shows me he's not emotionally mature at all
And just has a huge Ego
Doesn't listen to a word I say

"I did so much for you"
Yeah yeah dude
The only things you did was exist
Love me sometimes
Traumatize me (as in PTSD)
Telling me to shut up while I was crying because of heartbreak

And funny how I more or less have screenshots of him being abusive
And I mean I'm not scared to show them

Gotta protect myself from more pain one way or another

I think my brain farted
I like orcas alot now
Expect Orca arts
And orcas
I dunno

Okay so like
I dunno stuff started going down hill again
I mean first it was  Tealar who was pissed at me and eventually came back
Now it's the other friend  Theelusiv
Getting kinda tiring don't wanna talk too much about it because I mean he might just see this and interpret it badly and I don't want that to happen.

Also I Graduated today!
So that meeaaannnss, NO MORE SCHOOL EVER!!!

Okay so this one's a bit different
But here's just a random poetry thing my brain came up with
It goes something like

"Liar liar
I'm going to light you on fire
And stand there, Laughing
Because I know, you won't be able to hurt me anymore
Because you won't be here anymore"

Probably directed towards two individuals
You know who you are, use your brain
Maybe you'll figure the message behind it
But yep I dunno
Think it's me coping

Alright so like
I'm not glitchyb33 anymore
I go by the name Cawrupt now
I don't know how to actually change my username
But yeah
It's Cawrupt now

Aight so,
I've noticed he's starting to spiral
 tealar yeah you
I've been thinking of well reaching out to him myself
Don't know if he'd like that so I'm waiting for him
But I like gave him a choice
Either he comes talk it out with me like actual humans or he doesn't and just keeps spiraling or whatever the hell he's doin
But well the reason I'm at least giving him that choice is because I'm not like other people
Other peeps would've probably said something like
"Oh Look he's spiraling, pathetic" or something like that
But that's not me
I'm Maya
And basically, before I completely let go of him
I atleast want to give him a chance to talk it out
Settle stuff
Because well yeah, I care
And I know I did bad shit but I'm not a monster!
Also Burt if you see this
It was 3 months ago
3 months isn't a while, bud

Okay so things really have gotten put of hand,
I today decided
Maybe I should rejoin Xkimura's discord server
(Old friend)
Well it got put of hand really quick
PikminJosh someone I used to know
Called me worse than his old friend group
And was just yelling at me like
"Stalker! Stalker! Stalker! Burt doesn't like you so I don't like you fuck you! Get out!"
Then later getting Gaslit by Xkimura
Or well he was what I like pulling a Burt
"I read what you said, but I don't care"
I didn't expect it from him tho
Just hurts that from the people who I expect it the least
They could just let me go that easily let me fall into the void with out hesitation
Well I decided to say something about
He literally told me to be happy he didn't ban me and be happy he wasn't actually mad at me
Like dude I don't care!
Just stop ignoring my problems and treat me like an actual human being!
Well i ended up blocking
It felt good, Probaly was for the best

But i know it might be kinda cringe
But I kinda feel like Angry Luigi rn
Like from that one FNF mod
Especially the Lyrics wich go like this:
“My name’s Angry Luigi, and I’m super fucking mad.
Everybody has betrayed me: Mario, Peach, Daisy, E. Gadd.
They all turned on me so now all that I feel is hatred.
And now you’re trapped in this world that I have created.
You don't know what it's like living in a world of lies.
To keep on coming back all and every time that you die.
They will look at you with one, two, three, four million eyes.
Watching as you run towards nothing but a fabricated prize.
Oh you…
Oh you…
Oh you…!”
You probably get what i mean with this if you read my past journals

Okay so first off I'm a Pooltoy now
I love it, it's the best thing that has ever happened to
Might be a new Kink of mine
Second of all
 tealar
Yep this guy, it's been 2 months
I dunno what's going on in his head and why's he's not just moving on
But it's kinda getting to me
I just need him to stop
• Following me around just to harras me
Or harras  CerealLoogia I mean they didn't even do anything wrong!
• Stop harrasing me in General
• Leave me alone, because I want to leave him alone as well but that's hard if he doesn't leave me alone
Others have told me to ignore em
But I dunno, it's hard
He's annoying, but still a big goofball I'll give em that
But seriously he's gotta cut it out
Just wanna live my life without him barging in randomly
To just be stone cold and not listen
Also Burt if your reading this
Take notes
It's been 2 months
Just Let. It. Go.
Now
I mean I know i fucked up harder than you
But How yer acting now
Isn't making ya look so good now is it bud?
It's kinda fucked up y'know

Well things have seemed to calmed down
Mostly,
Eh im not to stressed about everything anymore
Also my birthdays coming up soon so yeah that's something
Kinda  tealar has been silent about me
For the most part because i dont know how he doesn't realize what he's doing is almost just as bad as what I did
Wich i actually wanted to Apologize for wich he just wouldn't let me
But yeah that
Idk

Okay so stuff
It's stupid,
I know it's over and I want it to be over
I hope  tealar also won't reignite anything
But the thing is i HATE how hard he makes it for me to not miss him

Especially the dream I had before
In wich for some reason he unblocked to say
"Give me 3 Reasons why I should forgive you"
And I reply with anything right I came out all jumbled including the word Nee (No in Dutch)
And I remember he said something like "Well Nee it is then"

It's just this thing inside of me that still longs to be around him
I don't know if it's because he made me happy, feel safe or any of those emotions
But fuckkk mmeee
My brains gotta stop doing this to me

Basically I just get excited, like the squealy kind of excited when I just randomly look at his Pfp on discord
While literally talking to someone else
It's just weird

Man I hope he just sees this so he can just tell me to shut up and stop being weird..

This journal is for someone who clearly doesn’t know when to stop.
Yes, I’m talking about you,  tealar

Let me be clear:
You lost the right to speak to me.
And that's on you.

I’m done.
I don’t want to hear from you.
I don’t want to be followed, talked about, or dragged into any more of your drama.

Please leave me alone.
Do not contact me again.

You've done enough.

Goodbye.

Okay, so I don't know how many of you know (or if any of you know)
 tealar on this website
So yea whatever he said in his latest journal may be true some what
But fucking hell he doesn't have to make it public each time
And I'd just say dude
If you hate me that much
Don't pay attention to me
I wasn't trying to reach you
I just like your art that's all
I'm done with you and I have been for about a month now
Don't care if you see this or not
But Have a good fucking life without me
And don't you ever thinking of coming back to like "Maya come back I made up my mind, I'll let you say sorry properly now without yelling and not listening to what you have to say at all"
Because I'm never coming back
Harrasing me just because your mad
Don't, just fucking don't
Goodbye Burt

Again he might not even see that but I'm just done with him
Don't mind anything he said about me being a douchebag or shit
He's right about me making some mistakes
But I've changed
I dont do that stuff anymore
Don't worry
Im trying to leave him alone
Get him off my mind
He won't leave me alone
In the form of Harassment

Im the bad guy in this situation
But he's the one dealing with it wrong

Alright so things seemed to have died down for now
Im feeling better than how i was feeling before and im drawing again
Also i realized art fight is coming up soon
So..
https://artfight.net/~Glitchyb33
Yeahh.. im participating too...
.w.

Okay so i've maybe started getting into drawing again
like as in i just revived some old project and i dont think im gonna stop after that
so i mean just expect anything from me at this point!