so, I went down to see my sister in the hospital after the birth, last night (the 3rd). he was born at 7:04 pm. 8lbs 6 oz, 21 1/2 in.

so my sister was in the hospital earlier today. she is very pregnant and was having labor pains. so she will be giving birth very soon. they sent her home a while ago, but she is still going to have him soon.

in other news, I have been very busy with my job and keeping the house clean, and other misc things. I haven't had too much time on my hands. at least not time I could use for something other then to sleep.

that is all for now. I will post something as soon as the baby is born and I have access to a computer.

so yeah... I got a job now. I work at a gas station. I will be working graveyard as well.






























that is all

have you ever stopped to think about the ups and downs life brings? I used to wish things would always be up and down so that life would be interesting. I got that and couldn't stand the confusion. I wanted things to be clam and in the middle. I got that and things were way too boring. I thought that it would be interesting and less confusing if things went bad, I'd have a story to tell for the rest of my life. when that happened I didn't like how nothing good happened. I hoped that only good things would happen. when that happened I got lazy because I needed no thought. I've learned that wanting things to be one way or another isn't the best thing. I know that what I want has little to do with how my life is going. each thing had a good and bad side to it, even things that people see as good or bad. I don't even know what I want anymore. I know I want something, but I'm unsure what it is. I am happy with where I am, but I don't want to stay where I am in life. I guess I like change and variety. who knows, maybe I have something big ahead of me.

ok, so I'm bored... so I made a list of unrelated questions to see if anyone can get them all without getting help, looking it up, or reading someone else's answers.

1. What is the freezing point of water in kelvin?

2. What was the song "Mary Had a Little Lamb"'s last line?

3. True or false: the Titanic sunk on it's first voyage.

4. What was the last movie released on laserdisk?

5. Which one(s) of these is not true of a platypus?
(a) they are venomous.
(b) they scene electric fields.
© they lay eggs.
(d) the juvenile name for them is "puggle."
(e) it swims using only it's front feet.
(f) the female platypus has no... um.... "teats"...

6. What is that largest amount of money you can have with coins, that you can't exchange for higher coin/dollar amounts? and what are the coins. aka: you can't have more then 4 pennies or you get a nickle. you can use pennies, nickles, dimes, and quarters.

7. What is the last word in the bible?

8. What year was the early American explorer, Zebulon Pike, born?

9. What do rods and cones do(referring to eyes)?

10. What year was the furry fandom considered to have started? (figured I'd throw in a furry question XP)

to be honest, I knew half of these off hand.

as of late, my mind has been racing, and since I got my memories back (I lost a lot of my memories for a long time) my memory is good. I hardly ever forget events when brought to mind, and with my mind racing I've been having all sorts of mental conflicts. also, it's hard for me to let things go. if someone causes me problems I can get over it and trust them, as well as forgive them. but I don't forget and I can never fully trust someone after that. if it comes to mind I have those negative feeling about them for quite a while. on top of that, my roommate (who I'm an unpaid caregiver for) has been going through a few things, like an asshole neighbor for example, so I'm supposed to be there for him. I'm thinking maybe I should visit my parents for a bit, but right now I need to stick around here because there are some things that my roommate needs me here for. not to mention he wants me to go to school and a job imediately. I want to do both of those, and am trying, but it's not easy. he's unable to work but seems to not be able to understand that it's hard to get a job.

I honestly feel like I don't have anyone to support me right now. since I can't go anywhere, and I have limited use of computer, and I can't tell my family about these things.

I feels so alone, and yet I wish I could be alone for a bit...

I would rant to get my stress out, like this, but I can't say most of what's bugging me, so it doesn't help much.

I had a very odd dream last night. it started off with 3 others and myself going into a haunted mansion. we were looking to catch ghosts for some reason. one of the people with me was my dad in the dream. The other two were a young couple, male and female, about my age. My dad lead the expedition and told the others that I was the expert, which was the case.

We were in the first room when we saw the first ghost. it looked a bit like a human only white and clear. I shined my flashlight on it and it froze. we then captured it, I didn't see the device because I was too busy holding the flashlight so that the whole ghost was in the light at all times. We got it.

After that we heard a little girl's voice behind us saying something that I couldn't quite make out. We turned and there was a little girl who had a blank expression on her face. I, being the expert, walked up to her and noticed that here eyes didn't dilate, yet it was obvious that she wasn't blind. she had a ghost in her. it was a harmless ghost, but a ghost nonetheless. we decided to ask her to come with us, she said yes.

the next room we went into was the kitchen. all over the floor was these things that looked like sticks but the were moving up and down on the floor. they looked like stick hands to me. they had five stick fingers on one end, and one "arm" that ended abruptly, at any given point it was about 1/3rd of an inch in diameter. I told everyone not to touch them, that if we did something bad would happen. the little girl said that they wouldn't kill or injure us, but we should keep our distance. my dad, who was wearing a backpack, grabbed a book from his pack. he flipped a few pages and read some information aloud. they were called demon hands. they would grab onto a person's face and then die. but the person would turn into the form of a helldog. We didn't look up what a helldog was, but I knew.

a helldog was a creature that walked on all fours, was covered in hair, and was dog like in many aspects. it could freely move through solid objects, and was one of the few ghosts that couldn't be captured. they also could create, manipulate, and destroy fire at will, as well as being immune to it's effects. they were commonly known to surround themselves with fire. and though they could move through solid objects, they are subject to gravity when in a fluid, such as water or air.

The girl from the couple that were with us noticed one on the counter, I told her to kill it by smashing it with something, she freaked out and threw it at me and yelled "you do it" I was looking a different direction when she said that, and looked over just in time to see the demon hand flying straight towards my face, it grabbed on an immediately let go. it then shriveled up and disappeared. I yelled at her. " Do you see what you've done! I'm the only one that understands ghosts. we can't go on because I'm about to" at that point I changed and the only sounds I could make were roars, snarls, and growls.

I was pissed, so I figured I would see if I had the powers of the helldogs. I walked straight at a wall, expecting to be able to go right through. when I cam into contact with the wall is seemed like air, I walked right through it. I'm just wondering the house, not paying attention to where I was when I heard a small girl's voice calling me, I knew it must be the girl that was with us, so I though I would just false into the floor and travel in it to where they were. they were in the dining room.. everyone was sitting at the table, a spot was cleared for me. I came up through the floor and saw the girl I was pissed at and roared and next thing I know there is flames around me. they weren't touching anything but me, so nothing was catching fire. the girl got out of her chair and walked up to me, she went to put her hand on my head to pet me. I calmed down and the flames disappeared before here hands got to were the fire was. she got back on her seat and I sat next to her.

after that I was no longer the main character in my dream, my dad was. at first he tried to change me back, then he tried to get rid of the things that changed me, and but in the end he just was trying to get out alive. I was forgotten in the dream. lost, alone, unwanted. my father had given up hope of getting me back, even though I was still me, I just looked different and had the abilities of the helldogs. it wasn't long in the dream before I was no longer mentioned, or thought of at all. I was no longer in the dream, I was watching what happened, but I was no longer a part of it.

I woke up feeling like I was worthless and unneeded even though I was the most usefully of anyone. I don't think I'm the most useful, but in the dream I was, so I woke up feeling I was. it's a horrible feeling when you are able to help, but no one wants it, or remembers you.

Yeah... I get that sometimes. You know when you stand up too quickly and you get a little dizzy, that is mild Orthostatic Hyoptension. It's a sudden loss of blood pressure.

However in my case it can be very bad.
A piece from the wikipedia page (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Orthos.....s_and_symptoms)

I will underline my symptoms

"Symptoms, which generally occur after sudden standing or stretching (after standing), include dizziness, euphoria, bodily dissociation, distortions in hearing, lightheadedness, nausea, headache, blurred or dimmed vision (possibly to the point of momentary blindness), generalized (or extremity) numbness/tingling and fainting, coat hanger pain (pain centered in the neck and shoulders), and in rare, extreme cases, vasovagal syncope. They are consequences of insufficient blood pressure and cerebral perfusion (blood supply). Occasionally, there may be a feeling of warmth in the head and shoulders for a few seconds after the dizziness subsides."

so yeah, I was getting up to find something to eat today and everything gets a bit fuzzy and dark, I also get a little dizzy. I'm used to that. I did what I always do, I braced myself against something (in this case, we have an entrance to the kitchen that has an over hanging section of the wall, for lack of better name for it.) I held on to it and I lost all sight, hearing, and feeling. I started seeing things, like people coming at me, I knew I had to hold on. I felt like I was being pulled and then my feeling was starting to come back. I felt my hands moving back and forth on the overhanging wall. I felt my knees trying to collapse under me, and then the people disappeared, and my sight and hearing returned to me, shortly followed by my strength. then I had a really strange taste in my mouth, (I've tasted it before with these episodes, and once when I was at a doctors, when i had to get a CAT scan.) a moment later the dizziness went away followed by the taste in my mouth dissipating. and then my neck and shoulders started to hurt. that only lasted a few seconds and then I went on and got myself something to eat. the whole thing seemed like it took about 15 minutes, although it was probably a minute at tops. I told a doctor about then a few years back, and she told me that I needed to eat more meat, because my blood sugar was too low, however that is not the case. I've had my blood tested, and my blood sugar levels are fine, and I'm eating plenty of meats. I am a bit worried about it, but to be honest, it does sort of give me a rush. It's kind of fun sometimes... anyway, that's my day so far.

Almost every day since I moved out of my parents' house someone in my family calls or texts me during dinner. Also that is the only time they text or call unless I text or call them first.

Now, we start eating any time between 4 and 9. and it takes 5 minutes to eat dinner. If you break that up, there are 60 different 5 minute intervals, in which my eating can only cover two sections. And they always pick one of the sections I'm eating in. The chances of that are 1 in 30 each day.
I have been living here since the start of December. So that makes it about 6 months. But I have visited a bunch, so let's make it 5 months. assuming that the months average out to 30 days each, that is 150 days. the chances of them managing this ever one of those days is 1 in 4500. That is 0.2%.

On another note, they are independent of each other and only one contacts me each day there are 4 different people. When put into math, each day the chances of exactly one person contacting me is as follows. there is 1 chance of no one,4 chances of one calling me, 6 chances of two people calling me, 4 chances of three people calling me, and one chance of all four calling me. 1+4+6+4+1=16, so it's 4 in 16, or one in 4.

Thus the chances of exactly one person calling me while eating dinner everyday since I moved in minus the days I visited them, are 1 in 18000. That is 0.006%

My family defies the odds at 18000 to 1!!!

so things with me are going slowly for me. not really much I can say other then I don't really know what's going on. it feels like my personality is starting to change a bit, and the worries me. I don't what to change. I like who I am now.

now I shall state a few things that I have experienced in the last few days that are of no importance.

-I go to a chat site and wait for others to come to the same room as me, and when the do I often miss them because I'm doing something else.

-I've noticed that my bed is colder at night now then it was when it was winter

-as of late I've only been eating two meals a day. no real reason

-now more then ever, I wish I could do what I wanted.

-I kind of want to move out... find somewhere I can get a job and do a bit more of what makes me happy.

-I don't know what things (mentioned above) make me happy.

-I don't expect more then 3 people to actually read this.

-I also don't expect more then 1 person to comment.



that is all

So yesterday (the 17th) was my birthday, I'm 19 now. didn't get anything of interest. Had more fun at pi day, which we celebrated on the 16th. It was good, but I think I'm done hosting it. It's a lot of work organizing an event of people that don't do much, or refuse to eat any pie or play any games!!!(you know who you are.) Actually I enjoyed it, seeing friends that I haven't seen in a while is always nice. I hope that even when we can't get together for pi day we will at least remember it and have our own little party by ourselves or with new friends.

PS: I miss traveling. It was fun being on the road. I wish I could go and visit new people, see new places, experience new things. But for now I need to get a job or I wont have any money to get anything other than food.

HOW OLD DO YOU ACT?

[ ] You know how to make a pot of coffee.
[ ] You keep track of dates using a calendar.
[ ] You own a credit card.
[ ] You know how to change the oil in a car.
[x] You've done your own laundry.
[x] You can vote in an election.
[x] You can cook for yourself.
[x] You think politics are interesting.

TOTAL SO FAR: 4

[ ] You show up for school late a lot.
[ ] You always carry a pen/pencil in your bag/purse/pocket.
[ ] You've never gotten a detention.
[ ] You have forgotten your own birthday.
[x] You like to take walks by yourself.
[x] You know what credibility means, without looking it up.
[ ] You drink caffeine at least once a week.

TOTAL SO FAR: 6

[x] You know how to do the dishes.
[x] You can count to 10 in another language.
[x] When you say you're going to do something you USUALLY do it.
[x] You can mow the lawn.
[ ] You study even when you don't have to.
[x] You have hand washed a car before.

TOTAL SO FAR: 11

[ ] You can spell experience, without looking it up.
[ ] The people at Starbucks know you by name.
[ ] Your favorite kind of food is take out.
[x] You can go to the store without getting something you don't need.
[x] You understand political jokes the first time they are said.
[ ] You can type pretty quick.

TOTAL SO FAR: 13

[ ] Your only friends are from your place of employment.
[ ] You have been to a Tupperware party.
[x] You have realized that practically no one will take you seriously unless you are over the age of 25 and have a job.
[ ] You have more bills than you can pay.
[x] You have been to the beach.
[x] You use the internet every day.
[ ] You have been outside of your home country 3 or more times.
[ ] You make your bed in the morning.

TOTAL SO FAR: 16

[x] You have filed a tax return
[x] You have used a pay phone
[ ] You have been served alcohol without being ID'd
[ ] You have purchased stamps at the grocery store
[ ] You have purchased a lottery ticket
[x] You still have and use a VCR

Total = 19

Actual age: 9 days away for 19

only 15 days till my birthday, yay!!! I'll be 19. however... before that comes pi day^^ in 12 days (march 14th) a day for everyone to enjoy a nice pi er pie with their friends and family and other loved ones that are close by. so happy early pi day to all, and happy early b-day to me.

PS: 3.1415926535898

I have made a fail puzzle!!!


click here

If you got 00-10 [you need to get out of the fucking house]
If you got 11-20 [you watch fox news]
If you got 21-30 [your parents must be ashamed]
If you got 31-40 [You're on the highway to hell]
If you got 41-50 [YOU'RE FUCKING HARDCORE]
If you got 51-60 [YOU DANCE ALONG THE RAZORS EDGE]
If you got 61-69 [I'd be scared to know you]
If you got 70+ [you're not allowed within 100 feet of a school]
+++

[ ] punched the walmart greeter in the face
[ ] stolen from a store
[ ] owned a fake ID
[ ] broke something and blamed someone else
[ ] drank alcohol to the point of blacking out
[x] not remembering a night
[ ] drank and drove
[x] had a hangover
[ ] been so drunk/hungover you threw up
[ ] made yourself throw up
[x] woken up in someone elses bed
[ ] fallen asleep beside a toilet
[ ] went to an AA meeting

Total: 3

[x] gotten into a fight
[ ] killed something.
[ ] taken a dump in someone's shoe
[ ] nutted on an old womans face
[ ] flushed a kids gold fish down the toilet when you told them you were going to bury it/it was going to heaven
[ ] used drugs
[ ] a drug other than marijuana
[ ] used the bible in a hotel room to snort drugs off of
[ ] been to rehab

Total: 1

[ ] went to a strip club
[ ] worked at a strip club
[ ] bought/watched porn
[ ] did porn
[ ] been walked in on
[ ] punched a hole through a wall
[ ] own a gun
[ ] had the police called on you
[x] threw a party at your house

Total: 1

[ ] been arrested
[ ] spent more than a day in jail
[ ] been fired from a job
[ ] been asked to leave a store
[ ] played frisbee with a kid and threw it too hard and it hit them in the face
[ ] threw a turd at someone
[x] Driven without a license
[x] seen a psychologist

Total: 2

[x] had a crush on someone who wasn't single
[x] kissed someone who wasn't single
[x] skipped school
[x] made someone cry
[ ] gave someone a swirly
[ ] called one of your teachers/professors a hoe in front of them
[ ] streaked
[ ] skinny dipped
[ ] did a keg stand

Total: 4

[ ] stolen gas
[ ] threw a milkshake at a car because they didn't stop at a cross walk and almost hit you
[ ] enjoyed starbucks
[x] donated to charity
[ ] believed in santa claus past 7
[ ] called your parents out on being the tooth fairy/santa claus/easter bunny/ect (they never did any of that with me)
[x] ran away from home (I was over 18 at the time though)
[ ] egged a house
[ ] forked someones yard

Total: 2

[x] set something on fire
[ ] ran from police
[ ] gotten away
[ ] cheated on a test
[ ] stolen money from someone
[ ] been called a slut
[ ] been okay with it.
[x] enjoy kinky bedroom activities
[x] had sex
[ ] had sex with the opposite gender
[x] had sex with the same gender
[ ] had sex with more than 1 person
[ ] drunk sex
[ ] had to do the walk of shame
[ ] left with less than your started with

Total: 4

[ ] went to a con and lied to your parents about where you were really going
[ ] driven more than 12 hours straight
[ ] signed up your friends for you schools LARP club
[ ] made a homeless man do a dance for money
[ ] wished you did
[ ] downloaded more than 10g in media that you didn't pay for
[ ] keyed someones car
[ ] bumped into someones car and left
[ ] stolen a cars emblem
[ ] forged documents

Total: 0

[ ] seen someone die
[x] been in a car accident (before I was born.. my mom was pregnant at the time)
[ ] been to a party and ran when it got busted
[ ] done sexual stuff inside a movie theater
[ ] been in the fandom for more than 3 years
[ ] fapped to something on FA
[x] been banned from FA (not sure why though)
[ ] had your car towed
[ ] thought Kanye was cool

Total: 2

Overall Total: 19 [you watch fox news]

Male side:

[x] You love hoodies.
[x] You love jeans.
[ ] Dogs are better than cats
[ ] It's hilarious when people get hurt. (
[x] You've played with/against boys on a team.
[ ] Shopping is torture
[ ] Sad movies suck
[ ] You own an X-Box.
[x] Played with Hotwheels cars as a kid.
[ ] At some point in time you wanted to be a firefighter.
[ ] You used to be obsessed with Power Rangers.
[ ] You watch sports on TV.
[ ] Gory movies are cool.
[x] You go to your dad for advice.
[ ] You own, like, a trillion hats.
[ ] You like going to football games.
[ ] You used to/do collect baseball cards.
[x] Baggy pants are cool to wear.
[ ] It's kind of weird to have sleepovers with a bunch of people.
[x] Green, black, red, blue, or silver are one of your favorite colors.
[ ] You love to go crazy and not care what people think.
[ ] Sports are fun.
[ ] Talk with food in your mouth.
[ ] Wear boxers.
[x] You enjoy hunting, hiking and camping

Male points total = 8

Female side:

[ ] You wear lip gloss.
[ ] You love to shop.
[ ] You wear eyeliner.
[x] You have some of the same shirts in different colors.
[ ] You wear the color pink.
[x] Go to your mom for advice.
[x] You consider cheerleading a sport.
[ ] You hate wearing the color black.
[ ] You like hanging out at the mall.
[ ] You like getting manicures and/or pedicures.
[ ] You like wearing jewelry.
[ ] Skirts are a big part of your wardrobe.
[ ] Shopping is one of your favorite hobbies.
[x] You don't like the movie Star Wars.
[ ] You are/were in cheerleading, gymnastics or dance.
[x] It takes you around 1 hour to shower, get dressed, and put on make-up and accessories.
[ ] You smile a lot more than you should.
[ ] You have more than 10 pairs of shoes.
[x] You care about what you look like.
[ ] You like wearing dresses when you can.
[ ] You like wearing body spray/perfume/cologne.
[ ] You wear girl underwear.
[x] Used to play with dolls as little kid. (shhh, don't tell my family)
[x] Like putting make-up on someone else for the joy of it. (when I was really young)
[x] Like taking pictures of yourself with your cell phone/camera when you're bored.

Female points total = 9

Androgyne / Gender neutral side:

[ ] You shop in both men and women departments for the best clothes.
[x] You do what you like regardless of what people say.
[ ] You believe associating personality traits with gender is absurd.
[x] You are aware that colors don't have gender.
[ ] Androgyny and neutrality kick ass.
[x] Macho men and girly girls make you want to puke.
[x] You appreciate diverse music, technology and media.
[ ] You can shop and repair things with the best of them.
[x] Played with dolls AND hotwheels as a child. (isn't this a combination of two previous questions?)
[ ] At some point you idolized an androgynous singer.
[x] You are aware that gender does not equal biological sex.
[x] You become angered at intolerance and bigotry.
[x] You can watch both horror and romantic comedy without being phased.
[x] Hats, ties and accessories can make the outfit.
[ ] You wouldn’t care much if you were the opposite sex.
[ ] You've been mistaken for the opposite sex.
[x] You can cook and play sports. (don't love nor am I really god at either)
[x] You've had friends of all genders growing up.(all genders?)
[x] You think everyone should be free to express themselves.
[x] People, and not what is in their pants, is most important.
[ ] You make up your own manners as you go along.
[x] Variety is good.
[ ] You regularly question outdated social customs and rules.
[ ] You use things made for the opposite sex if you feel like it without issue.
[ ] You think these gender surveys are silly.

null points total = 14

so yeah I guess an update is in order.

I haven't gotten a job yet, I don't have a desk yet, and the Christmas card thing didn't happen.

however I'm keeping myself busy with things, cleaning mostly. also I have to help my friend with a lot of things because he had surgery and now that he's almost back to full health from it, he has another surgery. so I'm going to have to do all the house work, all the cooking, and all the driving for a while, but I don't mind.

also I haven't had much time to work on art recently. wont for a while.

once my friend recovers form his surgery, he's going to show me a lot about this and that. things that will help me later on in life. I'm hoping for a quick recovery.

that's all for now. hope this year brings new wonderful things to you all!!! ^^

so I moved out of my parent's house around the same time that FA went down. I'm now in a smaller town in Washington that is kinda near Moscow and Pullman. I moved in with a friend so I'm really enjoying it here, only thing is it's freezing outside, but that's how it is a lot of places.

I'm hopefully going to get a job soon enough and be able to bring some money in. I'm also going to be getting a desk soon so that'll let me work on my art a bit more.

my friend here says that we may sent out Christmas cards so I'll give you a heads up if we do, that's all I can think of right now.

so I got another chance to get on! and there have been some interesting developments.

well things are finally out in the open about my sexuality. They belive that being gay is a choise and wrong. My sister talked to me in private and asked me and I found out from her that everyone in my family was thinking I was gay, which I've been suspecting. a few days later I finally got myself to talk to my dad about it, and he'll tellmy brother and my mom, and mom'll tell my other sister and my aunt. what bugs me is that they think it's wrong but they weren't willing to talk to me about it, instead they would talk behind my back about it.

apperantly I'm the last person to find out anything though. my dad belives it's a choise and was saying that they all knew I "chose" this 6 months ago... well I wasn't untill almost july that I started to think I evel liked guys, at that time I was bi though. I didn't know I was gay untill late september. since that was almost exactly 2 months ago it dosn't quite add up to the right time. so the people that belive that sexual oreantation is a choise knew before I did, what dose that mean?

so yeah, now I know that my family would rather wait and let things happen then deal with something that the think is a choise and wrong... *facepaw*

On a side note I'll be moving out the monday or tuesday after thanks giving. I'll be moving to washington, but still close to Idaho.

I finnaly found time to update those of you! ok, so I'm home right now. I'm getting my GED and driver's lisence. also I will be moving soon after thanks giving. I will be moving to washington, but still next to Idaho. I'm doing good and wish I could get on here, but even after I move I wont be able to get on, except on very rare ocations. once I get a computer I should be able to be on more.

I have some art I'm working on. I have one piece finished but my scanner is in storage, so I have to use my phone to get pics of them.

as you know I don't have a computer of my own right now. I also don't have too much access to the one I'm using now. not to mention that I have to work on some other things that I need done. I'll try to get on occationally to update if I can.


but for now, good bye.

so I made it home... i bit late. I ended up missing my transfer in vages a few times so that was a bummer. anyway I'm still trying to settle back down but with halloween coming up I have a lot of things that I'm going to have to get done.

I'm currently working on a a pic tha I hope to finnish and upload before halloween. I'm not going to give what it is away, but it's cute ^^

and to all you care, thanks!!!! I really love your guys' suport. it's helped me get through all the ups and downs that have been happening recently.

so I'll be leaving fron San Deigo at 8:10pm.
then I have a 55 minute layonver and transfer in LA, from 10:50pm to 11:45pm
next Vegas, I have a 3 1/4 hour layonver and a transfer. 4:35am till 7:50am
followed by Salt Lake City. layover, & transfer. from 5:10pm to 12:05am. 7 hours
last transfer and layover is in Boise, 1 hour. 6:55am till 8:00 am.
I finally get to lewiston at 1:30pm, nearly 2 days after I leave.
(followed by a 45 mintue car ride home)

I'm more thatn willing to hang out with a fur or two during my layover times, as long as I'm at the station with plenty of time to spare.

I'm leaving for home on sunday but I don't get ther till tuesday. I'm glad to be going home soon, but when I get there I have a lot of shit I have to deal with, I'm not too sure what's going to happen.

I'm just trying to move on with my life and now a few friends are mad at each other becouse one is upset that I'm gay and the other is upset thatm they think there is something wrong with being gay. my familly down here is starting to drive me nuts. news about me being gay will hit my family very soon, and now I am getting a second wave of problems becouse of the robbery. can't I just move on and live a normal life? I just don't want to deal with this!

I just wanted to see what the world (or at least the western united states) had to offer. now I have to deal with all the shit that is being thrown at me. *sigh*

so I will be heading towards home soon, setteling an argument that shouldn't even exist, explaining things with my family, and possably fight the legal system that decided to charge me $130 for getting robbed $80.


can I pleaze be dead now? or maybe I can get amnesia and forget about all this? I just want to live my life without having to deal with this crap!

that's it, I'm heading home.