***

Gonna kill myself tonight

Kill myself

***
---Edit---
I would like to apologize for that outburst. I'm mostly feeling better right now. It was the combination of a bout of depression and an argument with a friend that send me into a spiral of despair.
I wanted to thank everyone who keeps supporting me, who comes check on me, who care about me and who reply when I post journals like this. It may not feel like you're doing much, but every bit of support I get helps me escape the spiral of despair sooner and keeps me from sinking too deep.
I cannot express how grateful I am to have you all. I probably have some of the best friends in the entire internet **Hugs everyone very tightly**
---Edit End---

***

**Absolutely inhales and devours each and everyone of you, engulfing you all in my moist, warm mouth and with a tremendous gulp, forcing you all down past my plump, pear-shaped uvula and into a wet and gloopy bodily descent down my pulsing, throbbing esophagus until you reach the deep, dark, labyrinth-like depths of my digestive tract where you will disappear and become mine forever~!**

GwwuUuullLLlluuulllLLggGGGgghhhhhh-Ggghhggkkk!!!

Mine, forever and ever~!

**Gleefully massages my big, soft, warm, doughy, cushy, wobbly, sloshy and bouncy dragoness tum with you in it, knowing you will forever be mine~**

***

So today is my birthday~! You favorite draconic mama is now 38.

Jeeeeez I'm old X3

Got more grey hair now.

Also might be developing sleep apnea.

Anyhow, sorry for the times when I get depressed. Know that I love each and everyone of you, more then you can ever imagine.

**Hugs everyone really tightly**

***

***

Shape of: A hungry dragoness milf~!!!

*Proceeds to eat everyone who reads this and send y'all tumbling down into the bodily depths of my deep, dark, labyrinth-like digestive tract where you will disappear and become mine forever~*

>:3

***

***

Thought I should let y'all know. Also I'm feeling mostly better from last time.

***

***

Cause jesus christ that was a lot of feces.

Its like the mother of all anal discharge

the queen of poo

***

***

Fewer and fewer people care.

Never before have fewer people cared.

Its time to end it.

***

***

Although I am very grateful for those who do support me...

I've never had fewer support than now, with so many people chosing to ignore me.

Old friends which are completely silent.

Although many do still support me, it is clear that those are trending downward and have been for a long time.

The writing is on the wall as to say.

My time has come.

***

I can't

I fucking can't

I'm gonna end it all

***

That's it

I'm done

end of the freaking line

Its all over

I'm gonna kill myself

***

***

I'm dead

I cannot do anything

I'm dead

I'd rather die

This is the end

***

***

I don't even know what to say

I just wanna die

I can't get this idea out of my head

I'm exhausted right now

I just wanna end it all

***

***

Everything here is shit.

This life isn't worth living.

This thing is useless.

Everything is useless.

I'm just so tired of it.

I wanna end it all.

***

***

I'm so tired of everything here... I'm so tired of life.

Everything is shit, always. I'm so tired of it. I just wanna leave this world behind.

***

***

Life has become grey and devoid of joy. There just isn't anything that still brings me joy.

Lfe has completely lost all of it flavor. There's no passion left, no nothing.

I just wanna be done with it all.

***

***

I'm just tired of this life. I just wanna end it. I wanna end it all.

I can never have peace.

This is my life now. Posting depressed journals and being brain-dead like 3/4 of the time.

I don't enjoy anything anymore.

Nothing I do brings me joy in anyway shape or form.

I just think its time I go.

***

***

My most sincere apology for all of this nonsense. I am doing better as of right now. I'm so sorry about all of this, this one was an absolute god-killer. That was probably the biggest freakout I've had so far... Which really is saying something. Basically, I went into a deep spiral of despair... Like an unusually nasty one... And then several of my friends went offline without warning me right after I've told them I was in an incredibly bad bout of depression and left me alone when I most needed support.

Now, I've spoken to them today and they all had good reasons. Events outside of their control forced them to go offline for a while. Even while I was depressed I knew this was likely the case... But the fact that several of the people I rely upon when going through an episode of depression just kinda went offline all at the same time without saying anything and then never came back until the next day... I just felt completely abandoned. I am particularly vulnerable to feelings of abandonment due to events of my childhood... Its my Achiles' heel. To be clear, what happened that night is none of their fault, things just fell into places in the worst way possible for me. Its nobody's fault, its just random chance... Almost as if god himself has it in for me X3

But anyway, long story short: An absolute monster bout of depression happened at the same time as a bunch of random events that all heavily played against me. The way everything lined up perfectly to screw me over is nothing short of legendary: Truly a lightning in a bottle moment... But that sucked.

Thank you all so so so so so much for sticking with me and persevering through my insane depression ramblings to give me warmth and support. You have no idea how much it is appreciated... All ya bunch are the real treasures :3 *Hugs everyone super tightly against my big, soft, warm, doughy and bouncy dragoness tum~*

***

***

I just don't see it. Everyday its suffering and there is never anything good.

***

***Edit:***
My most sincere apology for all of this nonsense. I am doing better as of right now. I'm so sorry about all of this, this one was an absolute god-killer. That was probably the biggest freakout I've had so far... Which really is saying something. Basically, I went into a deep spiral of despair... Like an unusually nasty one... And then several of my friends went offline without warning me right after I've told them I was in an incredibly bad bout of depression and left me alone when I most needed support.

Now, I've spoken to them today and they all had good reasons. Events outside of their control forced them to go offline for a while. Even while I was depressed I knew this was likely the case... But the fact that several of the people I relly upon when going through an episode of depression just kinda went offline all at the same time without saying anything and then never came back until the next day... I just felt completely abandoned. I am particularly vulnerable to feelings of abandonment due to events of my childhood... Its my Achiles' heel. To be clear, what happened that night is none of their fault, things just fell into places in the worst way possible for me. Its nobody's fault, its just random chance... Almost as if god himself has it in for me X3

But anyway, long story short: An absolute monster bout of depression happened at the same time as a bunch of random events that all heavily played against me. The way everything lined up perfectly to screw me over is nothing short of legendary: Truly a lightning in a bottle moment... But that sucked.

Thank you all so so so so so much for sticking with me and persevering through my insane depression ramblings to give me warmth and support. You have no idea how much it is appreciated... All ya bunch are the real treasures :3 *Hugs everyone super tightly against my big, soft, warm, doughy and bouncy dragoness tum~*
***Edit End***

***

I'm on the edge, I've never wanted to end my life more than right now. Please talk to me :(

***

***Edit:***
My most sincere apology for all of this nonsense. I am doing better as of right now. I'm so sorry about all of this, this one was an absolute god-killer. That was probably the biggest freakout I've had so far... Which really is saying something. Basically, I went into a deep spiral of despair... Like an unusually nasty one... And then several of my friends went offline without warning me right after I've told them I was in an incredibly bad bout of depression and left me alone when I most needed support.

Now, I've spoken to them today and they all had good reasons. Events outside of their control forced them to go offline for a while. Even while I was depressed I knew this was likely the case... But the fact that several of the people I relly upon when going through an episode of depression just kinda went offline all at the same time without saying anything and then never came back until the next day... I just felt completely abandoned. I am particularly vulnerable to feelings of abandonment due to events of my childhood... Its my Achiles' heel. To be clear, what happened that night is none of their fault, things just fell into places in the worst way possible for me. Its nobody's fault, its just random chance... Almost as if god himself has it in for me X3

But anyway, long story short: An absolute monster bout of depression happened at the same time as a bunch of random events that all heavily played against me. The way everything lined up perfectly to screw me over is nothing short of legendary: Truly a lightning in a bottle moment... But that sucked.

Thank you all so so so so so much for sticking with me and persevering through my insane depression ramblings to give me warmth and support. You have no idea how much it is appreciated... All ya bunch are the real treasures :3 *Hugs everyone super tightly against my big, soft, warm, doughy and bouncy dragoness tum~*
***Edit End***

Game over

***Edit:***
My most sincere apology for all of this nonsense. I am doing better as of right now. I'm so sorry about all of this, this one was an absolute god-killer. That was probably the biggest freakout I've had so far... Which really is saying something. Basically, I went into a deep spiral of despair... Like an unusually nasty one... And then several of my friends went offline without warning me right after I've told them I was in an incredibly bad bout of depression and left me alone when I most needed support.

Now, I've spoken to them today and they all had good reasons. Events outside of their control forced them to go offline for a while. Even while I was depressed I knew this was likely the case... But the fact that several of the people I relly upon when going through an episode of depression just kinda went offline all at the same time without saying anything and then never came back until the next day... I just felt completely abandoned. I am particularly vulnerable to feelings of abandonment due to events of my childhood... Its my Achiles' heel. To be clear, what happened that night is none of their fault, things just fell into places in the worst way possible for me. Its nobody's fault, its just random chance... Almost as if god himself has it in for me X3

But anyway, long story short: An absolute monster bout of depression happened at the same time as a bunch of random events that all heavily played against me. The way everything lined up perfectly to screw me over is nothing short of legendary: Truly a lightning in a bottle moment... But that sucked.

Thank you all so so so so so much for sticking with me and persevering through my insane depression ramblings to give me warmth and support. You have no idea how much it is appreciated... All ya bunch are the real treasures :3 *Hugs everyone super tightly against my big, soft, warm, doughy and bouncy dragoness tum~*
***Edit End***

***

I just wanna end it all. Why doesn't anyone want me? Why is everyone so cold and distant? What happened?

Why am I so lonely all the time? Is it even worth living if no ones pays attention to you?

***

***Edit:***
My most sincere apology for all of this nonsense. I am doing better as of right now. I'm so sorry about all of this, this one was an absolute god-killer. That was probably the biggest freakout I've had so far... Which really is saying something. Basically, I went into a deep spiral of despair... Like an unusually nasty one... And then several of my friends went offline without warning me right after I've told them I was in an incredibly bad bout of depression and left me alone when I most needed support.

Now, I've spoken to them today and they all had good reasons. Events outside of their control forced them to go offline for a while. Even while I was depressed I knew this was likely the case... But the fact that several of the people I relly upon when going through an episode of depression just kinda went offline all at the same time without saying anything and then never came back until the next day... I just felt completely abandoned. I am particularly vulnerable to feelings of abandonment due to events of my childhood... Its my Achiles' heel. To be clear, what happened that night is none of their fault, things just fell into places in the worst way possible for me. Its nobody's fault, its just random chance... Almost as if god himself has it in for me X3

But anyway, long story short: An absolute monster bout of depression happened at the same time as a bunch of random events that all heavily played against me. The way everything lined up perfectly to screw me over is nothing short of legendary: Truly a lightning in a bottle moment... But that sucked.

Thank you all so so so so so much for sticking with me and persevering through my insane depression ramblings to give me warmth and support. You have no idea how much it is appreciated... All ya bunch are the real treasures :3 *Hugs everyone super tightly against my big, soft, warm, doughy and bouncy dragoness tum~*
***Edit End***

***

I just dunno. I feel purposeless... Lonely. It just feels like I'm spiraling.

***

***Edit:***
My most sincere apology for all of this nonsense. I am doing better as of right now. I'm so sorry about all of this, this one was an absolute god-killer. That was probably the biggest freakout I've had so far... Which really is saying something. Basically, I went into a deep spiral of despair... Like an unusually nasty one... And then several of my friends went offline without warning me right after I've told them I was in an incredibly bad bout of depression and left me alone when I most needed support.

Now, I've spoken to them today and they all had good reasons. Events outside of their control forced them to go offline for a while. Even while I was depressed I knew this was likely the case... But the fact that several of the people I relly upon when going through an episode of depression just kinda went offline all at the same time without saying anything and then never came back until the next day... I just felt completely abandoned. I am particularly vulnerable to feelings of abandonment due to events of my childhood... Its my Achiles' heel. To be clear, what happened that night is none of their fault, things just fell into places in the worst way possible for me. Its nobody's fault, its just random chance... Almost as if god himself has it in for me X3

But anyway, long story short: An absolute monster bout of depression happened at the same time as a bunch of random events that all heavily played against me. The way everything lined up perfectly to screw me over is nothing short of legendary: Truly a lightning in a bottle moment... But that sucked.

Thank you all so so so so so much for sticking with me and persevering through my insane depression ramblings to give me warmth and support. You have no idea how much it is appreciated... All ya bunch are the real treasures :3 *Hugs everyone super tightly against my big, soft, warm, doughy and bouncy dragoness tum~*
***Edit End***

***

I shat in a bowl of ravioli~!

=3

***

***

A friend of mine has recently been kicked out of their home for failure to pay rent. They are currently homeless and without a job. I put this message out to anyone in or near Michigan who could provide assistance.

Life is cruel, and medical circumstances can make employment complicated. Please leave a message here or send me a note if you can help.

Thank you.

***

***

I am disabled. I have been so for over 10 years now. I do not have a job. My physical situation makes it very very hard to do anything outside my house. As a result I've slowly grown apart from any real life friends I used to have. I cannot follow them where they wanna go.

So all day long... All I can do is sit there, alone in my house. I don't have any family, I'm kinda estranged from my mom who was my only family. I do not have anyone at all to celebrate holidays with.

I get it... People are busy... People have lives to live... But I don't. The world is moving on and I can't come. I'm being left behind.

I can't draw anymore... Nor write stories. My health just keeps getting worst.

No one has anything to gain from interacting with me. I have nothing I can offer anyone. The money I get from the government is just enough for me to get by so I can't spend money of commissions.


I'm lost.

I'm completely lost... The ship is sailing and every years it gets further away and I have to shout louder to get to the people on board. Well I'm losing my voice.

Is there anything left for me to do other than to take my own life?

***

***

I just wanna end it all

Nobody wants me

I just gonna end it all

***