ive come to a thought and a decision im now opening up to any options i can get since it is unlikely that i will ever find work around here i need to look at finding another place to go, i dont want to get to the point that i have no money and my roomate having to support me, i need a place to go that has ample work available that i can climb back up out of the ground is there anyone that would have room or a place for me and my two dogs?

watching and living everything thats happened to me, i ahd a job lasted 3 days i had two other really good opportunities for work in mrchandising both reps said i matched there qualifications perfectly to every detail. one part time one a full time positon with nestle going from store to store, unfortunatly without a car i cant get to the interview or go to any of the locations, both $11 per hour both have benefits after 60 days. and theres nothing i can do about. life is so cruel i worked hard to find a job and cant take it. for months my roomie wanted me to move in i told him i dont have a car it may be ahrd for me to find work and he always said everything will be ok sweetie everything will be alright dont worry about. I was worried about moving up here and i was right ive had nothign but trouble looking for work. im not sure what my roomies intentions for moving me up her were, i do know that when i wouldnt cuddle with him in anyway he became alot less friendly and now were both nuetral to each other. hes getting frustrated in the fact that im having such a hard time finding a job and so am i. i had great jobs wher i used to live and lost them i worked hard and ended up being forced to leave them. life is a cruel bitch anyone who says otherwise is lying to themselves

I hate to talk about this i hoped it was something id never have to experience again, yesterday in a discussion with a furson up here we got into how hard a time ive been having finding work and some how go to the point that he referred to my learning disability as an excuse. when i originally left massachusetts one of the resons i left was to go somewhere where i wouldnt be constantly judged becuase i was slower than others, i couldnt do what others could do or learn things as fast or the way others do. i have a.d.d attention defecit disorder, now people have said to me oh i have it to and im fine or it doesnt give me any issues or little issues and thats ok the thing is what people dont understand is just like any condition or medical issue it can vary from person to person to how light or heavy it is or how minimal or severe it is. things for me have never been easy i cant focus as good as most im constantly stressed out which makes my focusing even worse. what makes it even more difficult is i also have a heart condition that limits me from taking any a.d.d meds that work i went through an upwards of 50 different meds all of which when taken set my heart off into an attackacardia which is rapid heart beat im left having to just deal with a.d.d as is, i grew up from when i was in elmentary school till the time i was in college constatly being judged becuase of my learning disability that i should be able to do things like others can or learn they way others can people dont understand what its like to be in my shoes. for most people they can read a school book or any teaching manuscript and there mind can soak it in easily and learn from it, my mind doesnt work that way i read something and it just passes through me ive had that issue all through my life no matter what course it was or book i speak of this becuase recently i was offered by a friend to be trained to do his job basically working on websites and servers he gave me alot to read up on and videos to watch which i have repeatedly several times nothing sinks in everytime i go over it its like its brand new to my mind. they way i learn is by hands on i ahve to be shown how to do something step by step sometimes multiple times then do it myself and alot of times in the pat people havent had a lot of patience with me and have grown frustrated which is why im hestitant to do stuff like that. this friend has alot of fast paced work is often very busy for several days at a time. another friend offered to have me work in his coal mine with him i cant do that ive applied before unfortunatly i have a few medical issues that limit me one being asthma twp being attack cardi and three not many people know about i have a birth defect where im missing the central bone in my chest i was born with my chest caved in it was repaired to an extent when i was young but has given me breathing and heart issues namely the attack acardia all my life add in the recent surgery to my abdomen i am not fully healed and have issues from it as well i do not meet the health requirements to work in that field. i have however been apllying everywhere both by going out and online to everywhere any anywhere i feel i have the ability to the job there looking for people for everyday. i live stressed out doing my hardest at finding a job that i can costantly applying constantly looking to the best of my abilities. with it i live scared i feel that my friend and my roommate look at me in a a light as being a failure and lazy just beucase im different then them and not at a pace they are or able to focus or understand things as good as they can. i live in fear ill be toosed out and asked to leave because of it. my health has also been affected by my stress ive been sick alot more ive had a few episodes of attackacardia more often. I dont hate my friend for the way he thinks i dont like the word hate or have it in my heart but i dont really wanna be around him anymore either. when i went down south to alabama for the first time in my life i felt like an equal no one judged me or saw me as being different they communicated with me and saw me as being the same as anyone else i felt normal for the first time in my life, i still had issues at places i worked but werent as bad as they ahd been up north. since coming up to west virginia ive felt like an outcast half the time no matter how hard i work at fnding a job its not enough for the people around me and see me as being a failure. im constantly scared worried stressed.i have memory issues i forget names and screen names and get yelled at for it. even as i type this im in tears trying to collect my thoughts and type them out ive taken over two hours just typing this. these are my thoughts on the situation and how i feel and hopefully helps people understand me a little more. a learning disability is never an excuse its a medical condition and one some of us have to live with.

update on cons possibly fcn it would be a miracle though im hoping i can get a job before hand and ac for right now are what im shooting for

ive come to the point that instead of waiting for the inevitable to happen im starting on looking at still applying everywhere for work but also looking for some where to move too if someone has room its looking less and less likely that ill find any work here. im open to anywhere at this point as long as theres alot of paces i can apply to in an hours walking distance from where im living i dont have a car to get anywhere and i dont want to be a burden on anyone

http://s1327.photobucket.com/user/g.....f2013/library/


feel free to use any of the pics you want theres about 500^^

i went out an applied again to a bunch of places again, ive come to the point that if i cant find work by the end of march im going to have to move theres just not enough work out here for everyone, my roomie is a great guy and fun to hang with but there isnt anything for me around here work wise without a car , hundreds upon hundreds of people around here are gunning for the same only local jobs there are, i need to be somewhere i atleast have a chance at getting work. due to my car dieing i a while back i have very very little options here i wont have a lot of money to move with either if i wait longer than march, if it does come to having to move im open to moving to an area with plenty of retail work or plenty of work in general if anyone can

im at the end of my rope im a mess im ed from a years worth fo crap and left unable to do anything im left wiht applying to jobs that i have no way of getting too. i have no credit since being a victim of bank fraud in 08, i ant lease a car i cant rent an apartment i cant do anything but watch my money run out i ahd a great job and a great start but forced to give it up for no reason. theres no way out no way to get out of this hole anymore im screwed with no options im far from ok.......

TMI thursday!! ask me anything you want and ill answer on youtube i know its been ahwile and ive been kinda down i thought id do another one of these to take my mind off things ask anything you wanna know or want me to do

I moved up to west virginia last month after being asked to move out by my friends mom with little explanation, so i looked for a place to go as fast as i could and had to leave my job and moved out, i found out after that my friends mom didnt want me to move far away or give up my job but never said anything. so now im stuck up in west virginia in an old town its nice super 8 was filmed here only problem is theres no work anywhere near where im staying every place ive checked and small business is either not hiring or has hundreds of applications. i wasnt imformed correctly about there being jobs up here before i moved. Things are hard when you dont have a car. im looking to move back down south i was happy living in the south especially alabama and had ample work. is there anyone looking for a roomie or needing one my funds here are running out and i know once there gone my current roommate wont be able to afford to keep both of us living here. ive ahd to give up each job i ahd in the last year i dont want to keep moving around i wanna go somewhere and stay there. i havent been happy in over a year

Lots of prizes come check it out at http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/4200162/

tommorow i move on up to west virginia im kinda scaed to do it but its time to move on from where i was surgery now done and long healed ready to be me again^^ and grow in a new place

Hi everyone tongiht i got somehting i wasnt hoping for but knew was gonna happen eventually, after living with banyos and his mom for six months i need to move, when i first moved into banyoses moms house it was meant to be only a couple months but surgeryc ame up and six months later its time for me to go, between me banyos and beauwolsky weve been alot on banyoses mom , im not upset about having to move shes put up with us for a while and i appreciate all that she has done for me its just after having us for that long she just wants her hsue back which is very understandable. so i have a month to move out, i do have one option to move to a house in georgia with a friend,but in case something comes up in the month or he has financial obligations i said i would keep a look out for other options in case this one didnt go through especially with how the economy is these days. if anyone has room or needs a roommate i have two dogs both very docile and trained, i have money saved up and plan to work the rest of the month to save up more.

hehe here is the video we got into when we raided gmxcon see if you can see me and the others!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-sRuY_lHWUU

hehe what questions do u have for me tonight?

well the roomies are both gone till tommrow ngiht and im by myself and since its been a while i thought id do another question and answer youtube vid this one being a little different not only questions you want me to answer on cam but also clean things you want to see me do on cam i will make a video responding to your questions and doing what youw ant me to do!!! bare in mind im still healing from the hernia surgery so go easy on what youd like to see me do^^

its that time again TMI thursday send your questions along and i will answer them! anything you wanna know form me!! weird cooky strange fun anything!!

come check it out!! https://www.furaffinity.net/journal/3848097/

http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/3856434/ come check it out

check out journal for a chance to win a free commision^^

http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/3860422/

Vivaldi foxxers inspired me he has tuesday so im gonna try this for thursday^^ ask me any questions youw ant and i will answer i may also answer them in video^^

hin everyone an update i healed up nicely i have full mobility back and feel great^^ i still cant lift alot of weight till after 0ct 4th but afte that ill be back to normal. i cant wait to suit i may do a video today!!!

surgery went good in alot of pain and doped up

major update: surgery is scheduled for sept 4th at 6am, they day after we get back from mfm^^ i also may have a job as well a couple weeks after the the surgery!!

finnnaallyyyy i got fully approved and have an appointment on the 15th to see a surgeon then set a date for surgery!!

update correction i called the hospital today and at the moment i was only approved for the emergency room visit fee, now its being sent up all over again to be aproved for surgery, it sucks not being able to get a straight story from people, each department is a different call center. isnt trying to get stuff done when you dont have insurance fun....... i am depressed