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Posted 9 years agohey all im very sorry i have not gotten a chance to come on here and update you. I have been really sick with the flu and busy with work and family shit, but im good now!!! should be streaming again Saturday for sure!! possibly tomorrow too if ive got the time! thank you all for your patience!!! <3 <3
Updates/Trello/Schedule
Posted 10 years agohey everyone!!
just checking in again to let yall know im still alive!! heres whats up:
So i just got over a horrible cold/flu again. this has been happening to me once a month since October. Super icky, congestion, fever, bedridden for like 3 days the whole shabang. But im good now!!
I have decided to make a Trello!! This will be so yall know what im up to and what my schedule looks like with my main job and when ill be having time to work on art. please understand that i work 40 hours a week and i find it very very important to see my friends and family whenever i possibly can, so this Trello will help me organize and let you know when i will be making time to work on your commissions and take more commissions without losing control again.
You can find my Trello here!!
Also i would like to add that i super appreciate everyone who has come around and commissioned me, thats to all of you who are new and those who have been commissioning me for years now. It might not seem like i notice but i do, i super appreciate you all supporting me despite me falling off the wagon a few times and not completing your commissions as fast as you might like me to and disappearing. I would really like to gain everyone's trust back in time, and i hope making this Trello and doing streams when i can will help with that.
Thanks again everyone!!
~Charlee~
just checking in again to let yall know im still alive!! heres whats up:
So i just got over a horrible cold/flu again. this has been happening to me once a month since October. Super icky, congestion, fever, bedridden for like 3 days the whole shabang. But im good now!!
I have decided to make a Trello!! This will be so yall know what im up to and what my schedule looks like with my main job and when ill be having time to work on art. please understand that i work 40 hours a week and i find it very very important to see my friends and family whenever i possibly can, so this Trello will help me organize and let you know when i will be making time to work on your commissions and take more commissions without losing control again.
You can find my Trello here!!
Also i would like to add that i super appreciate everyone who has come around and commissioned me, thats to all of you who are new and those who have been commissioning me for years now. It might not seem like i notice but i do, i super appreciate you all supporting me despite me falling off the wagon a few times and not completing your commissions as fast as you might like me to and disappearing. I would really like to gain everyone's trust back in time, and i hope making this Trello and doing streams when i can will help with that.
Thanks again everyone!!
~Charlee~
Will be back on Saturday
Posted 10 years agohey all, just wanted you to know i have not forgotten about the pinups!! ive got a long week at work this week so i will not be able to stream until Saturday night possibly. It may even be until next wednesday.. i have not gotten my schedule for next week yet.
thank you all~
thank you all~
Still taking $10 Pinups!
Posted 10 years agoSince they are such a hit, i'll still be taking these!!! thank you all for your interest and support!! Its really been helping me get back into drawing!
I've completed the first batch and i would like to take some more!! ((You can see the original Que here!))
If you would like a slot please comment below with the following
Character Reff:
Preferred pose:
SFW or NSFW:
Anthro/Feral/Taur:
Favorite Color:
I will reply to you with a paypal.me link and it will be starter ASAP after payment is recieved!
Examples:
SFW
SFW
NSFW
NSFW
I WILL BE COMPLETING THESE IN ORDER UNLESS YOU SHOW UP TO ONE OF MY STREAMS! IF YOU POP INTO A STREAM LET ME KNOW YOU ARE ON THE LIST AND I WILL GET IT DONE WHILE YOU ARE THERE!!!
Batch 1
1. chazamataz87
2.Cooper (FB) DONE
3. DaisukeSato28
4. feuerfrei
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.
Another Batch will be opened once this one has been filled!
THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH!! <3 <3
I've completed the first batch and i would like to take some more!! ((You can see the original Que here!))
If you would like a slot please comment below with the following
Character Reff:
Preferred pose:
SFW or NSFW:
Anthro/Feral/Taur:
Favorite Color:
I will reply to you with a paypal.me link and it will be starter ASAP after payment is recieved!
Examples:
SFW
SFW
NSFW
NSFW
I WILL BE COMPLETING THESE IN ORDER UNLESS YOU SHOW UP TO ONE OF MY STREAMS! IF YOU POP INTO A STREAM LET ME KNOW YOU ARE ON THE LIST AND I WILL GET IT DONE WHILE YOU ARE THERE!!!
Batch 1
1. chazamataz87
2.
3. DaisukeSato28
4. feuerfrei
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.
Another Batch will be opened once this one has been filled!
THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH!! <3 <3
Sort of got my groove back
Posted 10 years agookay so as some of you have probably noticed, i have started streaming and posting again! i guess MFF gave me a kick in the ass to start drawin again!
I will only be taking commission i can finish in stream now, though! I dont want to have to owe people anymore and the people i still owe, please get in contact with me so we can work out either a refund of some sort or something else. If you dont get in contact with me i will be disregarding the commission
please keep your eyes out for my streams!! I have been doing a lot of them! offering cute doodle badges and i want to do some $5 busts today if anyone is interested!
thanks again for your undying support! you know who you all are <3 <3
I will only be taking commission i can finish in stream now, though! I dont want to have to owe people anymore and the people i still owe, please get in contact with me so we can work out either a refund of some sort or something else. If you dont get in contact with me i will be disregarding the commission
please keep your eyes out for my streams!! I have been doing a lot of them! offering cute doodle badges and i want to do some $5 busts today if anyone is interested!
thanks again for your undying support! you know who you all are <3 <3
No Longer Doing Commission Work
Posted 10 years agoSo it is obvious that i have fallen off the wagon for a while now, its been back and forth for the last 2 years or so and as much as it pains me i have to step away from trying to draw for any kind of money.
I now work in a fantastic place that is starting to give me more hours and aside from that i rarely spend time drawing or have the motivation to.., countless things have happened that tainted the idea of drawing for people and however many times that i try to, it seems i just cant stick with it.
I try to draw furry art now and i just cant. like physically i cant. whatever i attempt to produce i hate which is why i cannot finish the remaining commissions that i do have. and i deeply apologize for it. I had every intention in finishing them but whenever i think about trying to finish them a pit forms in my stomach.
if i still owe you art and you wish to have a refund, please contact me via Email at CharleeMonstah[at]gmail.com and i will try and work something out with you. I'm not made of money so the refund might not be immediate but i will try my hardest to pay you back if i owe you.
again i am very sorry to any of you who i have upset. I just want to be able to draw again without feeling guilty because i really do feel like the scum of the earth not having finished what i took on...
Its been a good run, you guys. as much as i have shied away from it, this fandom means the world to me.
I will be at MFF if any of you wish to say hello! Thank you all for understanding. and Thank you for your undying support whenever i have needed it.
~Charlee~
I now work in a fantastic place that is starting to give me more hours and aside from that i rarely spend time drawing or have the motivation to.., countless things have happened that tainted the idea of drawing for people and however many times that i try to, it seems i just cant stick with it.
I try to draw furry art now and i just cant. like physically i cant. whatever i attempt to produce i hate which is why i cannot finish the remaining commissions that i do have. and i deeply apologize for it. I had every intention in finishing them but whenever i think about trying to finish them a pit forms in my stomach.
if i still owe you art and you wish to have a refund, please contact me via Email at CharleeMonstah[at]gmail.com and i will try and work something out with you. I'm not made of money so the refund might not be immediate but i will try my hardest to pay you back if i owe you.
again i am very sorry to any of you who i have upset. I just want to be able to draw again without feeling guilty because i really do feel like the scum of the earth not having finished what i took on...
Its been a good run, you guys. as much as i have shied away from it, this fandom means the world to me.
I will be at MFF if any of you wish to say hello! Thank you all for understanding. and Thank you for your undying support whenever i have needed it.
~Charlee~
Updates/Cheap Commissions
Posted 10 years agoso let me just explain whats been going on lately because i know i have been quiet.
i was working for petco for a year and half and during the last 6 months i was being treated very poorly at work, and i dont just mean my boss was a dick i mean one boss was actually abusing me and the one after that thought i was shit and treated me as such.
i have finally gotten out of there and will be starting at a new job in a week. i want to work on art a bunch this week so ill be posting a banner when i stream.
i want to do commissions mostly in stream, but i figure i could take a few by journal. i have some outstanding commissions i will be primarily working on in stream but since i have a whole lot of free time now, i should be able to manage a few more!!
Heres what i would like to offer by journal!
Doodles for $3 a character, $5 for 2!
Example 1
Example 2
Sloppy Headshots for $5
Example 1
Example 2
Waist up colored Sketches for $10
Example
Cosplay Badges for $15
Make sure you tell me what character you want to cosplay as!
Example
please comment below if you would like anything!!
i was working for petco for a year and half and during the last 6 months i was being treated very poorly at work, and i dont just mean my boss was a dick i mean one boss was actually abusing me and the one after that thought i was shit and treated me as such.
i have finally gotten out of there and will be starting at a new job in a week. i want to work on art a bunch this week so ill be posting a banner when i stream.
i want to do commissions mostly in stream, but i figure i could take a few by journal. i have some outstanding commissions i will be primarily working on in stream but since i have a whole lot of free time now, i should be able to manage a few more!!
Heres what i would like to offer by journal!
Doodles for $3 a character, $5 for 2!
Example 1
Example 2
Sloppy Headshots for $5
Example 1
Example 2
Waist up colored Sketches for $10
Example
Cosplay Badges for $15
Make sure you tell me what character you want to cosplay as!
Example
please comment below if you would like anything!!
New Collaborative Account.
Posted 10 years ago
and i have decided to start doing work together. we want to keep doing at for the fandom and stuff but we dont want to do commissions alone much anymore.Afry does the lineart
I will be coloring and shading
heres the Account
thanks everyone!!!
i will still be open for commissions from me, but ONLY during streams!!!
Back for a Bit/ $5 MFF Gascon Badges
Posted 11 years agoso MWFF put me in a furry mood, like i knew it would. im going to be making Gascon2014 badges here soon for myself and some friends, and ill be working on some outstanding commissions too. Im thinking of selling the Gascon badges, $5 a pop, during stream for people who went to MFF (or i guess people who didnt too XD )) so keep your eyes peeled!!!
Assume me to be offline indefinitely.
Posted 11 years agotheres no point in keeping this account "active" anymore
i will still be making up those commissions as time goes on, i have just not had the time or energy to do so with my job and my life how it is.
you can find me on Tumblr
http://yeenidae-not-canidae.tumblr.com/
http://gracelesstevy.tumblr.com/
and if i owe you art and dont have you listed in the journal footer, please email me
CharleeMonstah[at]gmail.com
ill still be attending Cons and lurking around here and posting art spratically but for the most part this account it pretty much dead.
it was great while it lasted.
i will still be making up those commissions as time goes on, i have just not had the time or energy to do so with my job and my life how it is.
you can find me on Tumblr
http://yeenidae-not-canidae.tumblr.com/
http://gracelesstevy.tumblr.com/
and if i owe you art and dont have you listed in the journal footer, please email me
CharleeMonstah[at]gmail.com
ill still be attending Cons and lurking around here and posting art spratically but for the most part this account it pretty much dead.
it was great while it lasted.
Tagged!
Posted 11 years agoRULES :
1. Pick one of your Fursona's.
2. Fill in the questions/statements as if you were your Fursona.
3. Tag at least four people to do this meme!
4. Tell people that they been tagged with a link from your journal
Fursona: Charlee
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/11192467/
1. What is your name?
Charlee. Charlee Banx
2. Do you know why you were named that?
heh... i just do what the writer says [Gossamer] not sure why she called me Charlee
3. Single or taken?
pffft SINGLE!!! more fun to be had!! the monstah loves to play ;3
4. Have any abilities or powers?
water bending and breathing under water.
5. Stop being a Mary Sue!
stop telling me how to write my fanfiction, ass hole...
6. What's your eye color?
blue like mah hair...
7. How about hair color?
blue
8. Have you any family members?
a brother named Chukee, but thats all i know about so far
9. Oh? How about pets?
just some kitties
10. That's cool, I guess. Now tell me something you don't like.
haters. and also orcs... fuck those ass hole always trying to saddle and ride me
11. Do you have any activities/hobbies that you like to do?
swimmin!! and hanging out with buds and fishin, and running in the rain
12. Have you ever hurt anyone in any way before?
used to have to fight off orcs all the time, i was a prize to be had by them, a rare Warg with a blue mane mixed with the blood of a hyena, i was a fighting machine and fit for the highest ranking warriors. so i have hurt many of them. and many that try and hurt my friends.
13. Ever… killed anyone before?
sure have. Orcs!! fuck those guys....
14. What kind of animal are you?
a Warg mixed with the blood of a hyena. also i am a rare aquatic breed of warg.
15. Name your worst habits.
rolling in rotting carcasses.... it.. doesnt get worse than that... A LOT of people dont like that heh... ^^;
16. Do you look up to anyone at all?
naw not really. besides Chukee maybe.
17. Are you gay, straight, or bisexual?
none. im Pan. i am attracted to everyone no matter what. male, female, in between, neither, etc...
18. Do you go to school?
naw, i learned everything growing up in the wild swamps of middle earth.
19. Ever want to marry and have kids one day?
eh... not for me
20. Do you have fangirls/fanboys?
uh, not sure...
21. What are you most afraid of?
losing my little pack
22. What do you usually wear?
if i actually wear clothes, gothic style, grunge, band tees, ripped jeans, plaid
23. What's one food that tempts you?
salmon
24. Am I annoying you?
....... *stares blankly*
25. Well, it's still not over!
get on with it then...
26. What class are you (low class, middle class, high class)?
whats class? i live in the wild... im only out here in civilization when i wanna see my buds!
27. How many friends do you have?
a few close ones, not many.
28. What are your thoughts on pie?
GIMME DAT
30. Favorite drink?
lemonade probably
31. What's your favorite place?
in the water
32. Are you interested in anyone~?
oh sure, sure, quite a few people actually. but you know, i like to have fun. seems people are always willing to take a shot at the monstah!
33. That was a stupid question.
this is a stupid meme so....
34. Would you rather swim in a lake or the ocean?
LAKE
35. What's your type?
anything goes!
36. Any fetishes?
many actually. and im open minded too ;3
37. Seme ( Dom ) or Uke ( Sub )?
switch
38. Camping or indoors?
camping.
39. Tag People!
nah...
1. Pick one of your Fursona's.
2. Fill in the questions/statements as if you were your Fursona.
3. Tag at least four people to do this meme!
4. Tell people that they been tagged with a link from your journal
Fursona: Charlee
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/11192467/
1. What is your name?
Charlee. Charlee Banx
2. Do you know why you were named that?
heh... i just do what the writer says [Gossamer] not sure why she called me Charlee
3. Single or taken?
pffft SINGLE!!! more fun to be had!! the monstah loves to play ;3
4. Have any abilities or powers?
water bending and breathing under water.
5. Stop being a Mary Sue!
stop telling me how to write my fanfiction, ass hole...
6. What's your eye color?
blue like mah hair...
7. How about hair color?
blue
8. Have you any family members?
a brother named Chukee, but thats all i know about so far
9. Oh? How about pets?
just some kitties
10. That's cool, I guess. Now tell me something you don't like.
haters. and also orcs... fuck those ass hole always trying to saddle and ride me
11. Do you have any activities/hobbies that you like to do?
swimmin!! and hanging out with buds and fishin, and running in the rain
12. Have you ever hurt anyone in any way before?
used to have to fight off orcs all the time, i was a prize to be had by them, a rare Warg with a blue mane mixed with the blood of a hyena, i was a fighting machine and fit for the highest ranking warriors. so i have hurt many of them. and many that try and hurt my friends.
13. Ever… killed anyone before?
sure have. Orcs!! fuck those guys....
14. What kind of animal are you?
a Warg mixed with the blood of a hyena. also i am a rare aquatic breed of warg.
15. Name your worst habits.
rolling in rotting carcasses.... it.. doesnt get worse than that... A LOT of people dont like that heh... ^^;
16. Do you look up to anyone at all?
naw not really. besides Chukee maybe.
17. Are you gay, straight, or bisexual?
none. im Pan. i am attracted to everyone no matter what. male, female, in between, neither, etc...
18. Do you go to school?
naw, i learned everything growing up in the wild swamps of middle earth.
19. Ever want to marry and have kids one day?
eh... not for me
20. Do you have fangirls/fanboys?
uh, not sure...
21. What are you most afraid of?
losing my little pack
22. What do you usually wear?
if i actually wear clothes, gothic style, grunge, band tees, ripped jeans, plaid
23. What's one food that tempts you?
salmon
24. Am I annoying you?
....... *stares blankly*
25. Well, it's still not over!
get on with it then...
26. What class are you (low class, middle class, high class)?
whats class? i live in the wild... im only out here in civilization when i wanna see my buds!
27. How many friends do you have?
a few close ones, not many.
28. What are your thoughts on pie?
GIMME DAT
30. Favorite drink?
lemonade probably
31. What's your favorite place?
in the water
32. Are you interested in anyone~?
oh sure, sure, quite a few people actually. but you know, i like to have fun. seems people are always willing to take a shot at the monstah!
33. That was a stupid question.
this is a stupid meme so....
34. Would you rather swim in a lake or the ocean?
LAKE
35. What's your type?
anything goes!
36. Any fetishes?
many actually. and im open minded too ;3
37. Seme ( Dom ) or Uke ( Sub )?
switch
38. Camping or indoors?
camping.
39. Tag People!
nah...
ON HOLD
Posted 11 years agookay so i have SLOWLY been attempting to work on everyone's commissions and get them done. BUT my computer crashed almost every time i got to work on them. i will not be working on them until i get my computer rebuilt. that will probably be in the next few months. im sorry for the stupid long waits again.
Slowly Working out my que
Posted 11 years ago
is kicking my ass back in gear, thank god. been slowly working through my que list. so yeah im here! wont be taking new commissions unless they are in stream only!! so keep your eyes peeled~IM DONE
Posted 11 years agoim seriously just done... Idk when ill be back, but im not doing this back and forth bullshit anymore. Ill be back in a while to finish off what i owe and then im out!
i cant stand the rude people on this fandom anymore, AND i really have no motivation to do this anymore...
Ill still be at meets and cons, im still a furry, but im finding out very quickly lately that this isnt the community i want to be a part of right now...
thanks for everything guys...
~Tevy out...
i cant stand the rude people on this fandom anymore, AND i really have no motivation to do this anymore...
Ill still be at meets and cons, im still a furry, but im finding out very quickly lately that this isnt the community i want to be a part of right now...
thanks for everything guys...
~Tevy out...
HIATUS/I JUST NEED TIME PLEASE
Posted 11 years agoi have decided i need to take a break from this fandom and commissions. my mate and i just split last night, we are still living together, but we r no longer together. it was a mutual thing, but it still hurts. i just need time.
all i want to do lately is write. and now that im free, unleashed, i just wanna go out everynight and have nothing to worry about except me.
ill still be around to answer notes, read comment, chat, etc... but i dont think i will be posting for a while.
I KNOW I STILL OWE SOME ART!!! I havent forgotten. but you will be waiting longer. when i come back i WILL COMPENSATE FOR WAITING TIME. much free art will be given out to those waiting.
thanks for everything guys. see you all l8r~~
~Charlee~
all i want to do lately is write. and now that im free, unleashed, i just wanna go out everynight and have nothing to worry about except me.
ill still be around to answer notes, read comment, chat, etc... but i dont think i will be posting for a while.
I KNOW I STILL OWE SOME ART!!! I havent forgotten. but you will be waiting longer. when i come back i WILL COMPENSATE FOR WAITING TIME. much free art will be given out to those waiting.
thanks for everything guys. see you all l8r~~
~Charlee~
Updates and such
Posted 11 years agohey all
sorry i havnt been on in a bit. i should have written a journal explaining before it happened so im sorry
i was away from my PC (only had my laptop which i cannot use for drawing) fri-sunday, and then monday night i worked till 3am. and yesterday i needed a cooldown from that and i was having a hard time breathing due to a condision that happens on and off where my ribs wont expand with my lungs all the way, causing me to be extremely short of breath and if i do try and breathe deeply, it puts me in incredible pain. sooo thats what has been happening.
whenever i am not at my drawing computer tho i am usually writing on my laptop. i have been contenplating making a writing account here. tho non of my writing is furry... lol
its all fanfiction! right now i have 2 borderlands storys and a supernatural story in the works, posted on fanfiction.net!
heres my profile if y'all are interested!!
https://www.fanfiction.net/~gossamercrane
commission streams are hopefully to resume late tonight!
sorry i havnt been on in a bit. i should have written a journal explaining before it happened so im sorry
i was away from my PC (only had my laptop which i cannot use for drawing) fri-sunday, and then monday night i worked till 3am. and yesterday i needed a cooldown from that and i was having a hard time breathing due to a condision that happens on and off where my ribs wont expand with my lungs all the way, causing me to be extremely short of breath and if i do try and breathe deeply, it puts me in incredible pain. sooo thats what has been happening.
whenever i am not at my drawing computer tho i am usually writing on my laptop. i have been contenplating making a writing account here. tho non of my writing is furry... lol
its all fanfiction! right now i have 2 borderlands storys and a supernatural story in the works, posted on fanfiction.net!
heres my profile if y'all are interested!!
https://www.fanfiction.net/~gossamercrane
commission streams are hopefully to resume late tonight!
COMMISSIONS OPEN! $10 BONDAGE PINUPS/YCH BUY NOW!!
Posted 11 years agocouple things here!!
Commissions are and have been open!!
look here for prices!--> http://www.furaffinity.net/full/12857622/
I have a Prepose/YCH open that fell threw. its a two character and spot 2 dropped out.
it is BUY NOW! NOT AUCTION!!! FOR $15!!!
Find it here! comment to purchase!!--> http://www.furaffinity.net/view/12989966/
and also, my current discount offer is rope bondage pinups!! THEY ARE $10 A PIECE!
Bondage Pinup Example--> http://www.furaffinity.net/view/12966620
normally pinups are $15 but since i really want to do the bondage i am discounting them!
ill take 10 slots of these please comment below if interested!!!
Bound Pinup Slots
1)
SadaKat
2)
namu-husky
3)
Maxtheshadowdragon
4)
Nandi_Bee awaiting payment
5)
Fozzy-Fox
6)
7)
8)
9)
xtatuxtoxicityx HOLD TILL 4/1
10) xtatuxtoxicityx HOLD TILL 4/1
Commissions are and have been open!!
look here for prices!--> http://www.furaffinity.net/full/12857622/
I have a Prepose/YCH open that fell threw. its a two character and spot 2 dropped out.
it is BUY NOW! NOT AUCTION!!! FOR $15!!!
Find it here! comment to purchase!!--> http://www.furaffinity.net/view/12989966/
and also, my current discount offer is rope bondage pinups!! THEY ARE $10 A PIECE!
Bondage Pinup Example--> http://www.furaffinity.net/view/12966620
normally pinups are $15 but since i really want to do the bondage i am discounting them!
ill take 10 slots of these please comment below if interested!!!
Bound Pinup Slots
1)
SadaKat2)
namu-husky3)
Maxtheshadowdragon4)
Nandi_Bee awaiting payment5)
Fozzy-Fox6)
7)
8)
9)
xtatuxtoxicityx HOLD TILL 4/110)
xtatuxtoxicityx HOLD TILL 4/1$10 BONDAGE PINUP COMMISSIONS
Posted 11 years agoSO i did this commission hera!---> http://www.furaffinity.net/view/12966620
and i really enjoyed doing the ropes and stuff! so i would like to take somemore!
normally pinups are $15 but since i really want to do the bondage i am discounting them!
ill take 10 slots of these please comment below if interested!!!
Bound Pinup Slots
1) SadaKat
2)
3)
4)
5)
6)
7)
8)
9)
10)
and i really enjoyed doing the ropes and stuff! so i would like to take somemore!
normally pinups are $15 but since i really want to do the bondage i am discounting them!
ill take 10 slots of these please comment below if interested!!!
Bound Pinup Slots
1)
SadaKat2)
3)
4)
5)
6)
7)
8)
9)
10)
Iron Artist Maybe?
Posted 11 years agobeen thinking about doing an iron artist challenge finally.
possibly with $10 Pinups.
when my que gets smaller. lol
would anyone be interested?
possibly with $10 Pinups.
when my que gets smaller. lol
would anyone be interested?
WATCH ME LEARN HOW TO TABLET!!!!
Posted 12 years agoWhat Ive been up To
Posted 12 years agoif anyone is interested in what i have been up to while ive been away and trying to cope with anxiety, i have been working on cheesy fanfiction!
it seems to make me feel better when i write this shit so why not. i posted it on Fanfiction.net.
here is my profile on there if you would like to read it!
https://www.fanfiction.net/u/5446137/
https://www.fanfiction.net/u/5446137/
https://www.fanfiction.net/u/5446137/
https://www.fanfiction.net/u/5446137/
it seems to make me feel better when i write this shit so why not. i posted it on Fanfiction.net.
here is my profile on there if you would like to read it!
https://www.fanfiction.net/u/5446137/
https://www.fanfiction.net/u/5446137/
https://www.fanfiction.net/u/5446137/
https://www.fanfiction.net/u/5446137/
My Absence and Depression
Posted 12 years agoi know you all are wondering where i am... and why i havnt gotten things done...
i know many of you may thing im being a pussy and i complain too much but my feelings are my own and i have a right to feel this way.
i have been busy with my job, yes, but its also that ive been so depressed... i have seasonal depression and it wasnt an issue last year but now so many of my friends are going away and my life is about my friends. im trying to get by... but shit just keeps happening...
my car is shitty... my parents have been fixing it, bless their souls, but i feel like its on its last year... its 22 years old, only has 82000 on her but shes just too old... once thats dead im fucked...
my job isn't paying me enough or giving me enough hours. i should be starting training to be a dog trainer soon but even still i feel like i shouldn't have left Petsmart even if it was taking a huge toll on my mental health... i can pay rent but that's it, if i want to be able to eat, i cant pay my bills...
my mate loves me but hes stressed out and depressed and he just wants to sit around and play video games all the time, we never go out and we only spend time together when we both want to cuddle and watch movies... it would be nice if he would go out on walks and shit with me.... i never said anything about spending money on me... tho it would be nice if i could have a mate who would take care of me... there's a huge lack of affection in my life...
i feel gross... my mate has told me time and time again that i am allowed to seek the affection and company of other men but i just don't have it anymore... i wondered for a while why men were not falling at my feet like they did in high school and i realized well, maybe it has something to do with the fact that i gained FUCKING 100 POUNDS! MAYBE MORE. WHAT THE FUCK DID I DO TO MYSELF!!?!?! and i have something to look forward to...
told me shes gunna teach me how to hoop in the spring, so that's really exciting. but its really hard to do that in the winter when its so cold... and then even still it will take a while to shed all this fucking weight.. i know it sounds stupid and stuck up and self centered, but really idk who doesn't want people flirting with them! i used to love crushing on people and flirting and chasing but now when i am like that its just sad, i cant be a tease anymore, because ive become a monster...
ALSO! my BEST friend in the world for like all of my life (14+) moved up to school in Minnesota and she came back to visit and turns out hey! she doesn't really seem to give a shit about me, and would rather see her EX BOYFRIEND than her own best-friend! not to mention the fact that my own aunts would rather hang out with her instead of me!!! THAT FEELS REALLY GREAT!!!
and even further more, i am EXTREMELY empathetic! meaning people around me, their emotions seep into mine, and lately, the people i have been around have been a bit down too. so in turn, on top of all this shit, i have the emotions of my household piling on top of me too...
so I AM SORRY!!! that i have outstanding commission!! I AM SORRY!!! that it took me this long to tell you this... and i really really hope that everyone understands... I HAVE NEVER left a PAID commission unfinished (to my knowledge) and i FULLY intend to finished each and everyone of them!! i will be working on them when i feel fit too, i dont like working on artwork of any kind when i don't feel it... it always ends up being shitty and i want all of my work and especially my paid commissions to be the best of quality that i am capable of.
thank you all for reading this... i appreciate nothing more than my watchers and the people who fav and comment my work. you are the reason why im still at this art thing... I WILL BE BACK. i love you all~
~Charlee~
i know many of you may thing im being a pussy and i complain too much but my feelings are my own and i have a right to feel this way.
i have been busy with my job, yes, but its also that ive been so depressed... i have seasonal depression and it wasnt an issue last year but now so many of my friends are going away and my life is about my friends. im trying to get by... but shit just keeps happening...
my car is shitty... my parents have been fixing it, bless their souls, but i feel like its on its last year... its 22 years old, only has 82000 on her but shes just too old... once thats dead im fucked...
my job isn't paying me enough or giving me enough hours. i should be starting training to be a dog trainer soon but even still i feel like i shouldn't have left Petsmart even if it was taking a huge toll on my mental health... i can pay rent but that's it, if i want to be able to eat, i cant pay my bills...
my mate loves me but hes stressed out and depressed and he just wants to sit around and play video games all the time, we never go out and we only spend time together when we both want to cuddle and watch movies... it would be nice if he would go out on walks and shit with me.... i never said anything about spending money on me... tho it would be nice if i could have a mate who would take care of me... there's a huge lack of affection in my life...
i feel gross... my mate has told me time and time again that i am allowed to seek the affection and company of other men but i just don't have it anymore... i wondered for a while why men were not falling at my feet like they did in high school and i realized well, maybe it has something to do with the fact that i gained FUCKING 100 POUNDS! MAYBE MORE. WHAT THE FUCK DID I DO TO MYSELF!!?!?! and i have something to look forward to...
told me shes gunna teach me how to hoop in the spring, so that's really exciting. but its really hard to do that in the winter when its so cold... and then even still it will take a while to shed all this fucking weight.. i know it sounds stupid and stuck up and self centered, but really idk who doesn't want people flirting with them! i used to love crushing on people and flirting and chasing but now when i am like that its just sad, i cant be a tease anymore, because ive become a monster...ALSO! my BEST friend in the world for like all of my life (14+) moved up to school in Minnesota and she came back to visit and turns out hey! she doesn't really seem to give a shit about me, and would rather see her EX BOYFRIEND than her own best-friend! not to mention the fact that my own aunts would rather hang out with her instead of me!!! THAT FEELS REALLY GREAT!!!
and even further more, i am EXTREMELY empathetic! meaning people around me, their emotions seep into mine, and lately, the people i have been around have been a bit down too. so in turn, on top of all this shit, i have the emotions of my household piling on top of me too...
so I AM SORRY!!! that i have outstanding commission!! I AM SORRY!!! that it took me this long to tell you this... and i really really hope that everyone understands... I HAVE NEVER left a PAID commission unfinished (to my knowledge) and i FULLY intend to finished each and everyone of them!! i will be working on them when i feel fit too, i dont like working on artwork of any kind when i don't feel it... it always ends up being shitty and i want all of my work and especially my paid commissions to be the best of quality that i am capable of.
thank you all for reading this... i appreciate nothing more than my watchers and the people who fav and comment my work. you are the reason why im still at this art thing... I WILL BE BACK. i love you all~
~Charlee~
