Never ever use FedEx.
Consistently the worst shippers in the world.


Yes a broke a multi year silence just to make this my new featured one.


Fuck FedEx for stealing my tablet and forging my signature and acting like nothing was wrong and hiding behind bureaucracy. It's a run on but there is a lot of assholery.

Hunker down if you havent gotten out.

Seriously. Cut it out.

Seriously.
Bowie, Brian Bedford and now Alan Rickman.

I know its different types but I got off so lightly with my cancer diagnosis not being so aggressive and easily dealt with. And these marvelous examples of humanity succumb. I feel--ashamed? Guilty? I don't know what word I'm looking for.

Rest in peace, Sovereign.

"If you're sad today, just remember the world is over 4 billion years old and you somehow managed to exist at the same time as David Bowie."

On this, the recurring darkest of the days in my life and with its origin--I want to wish you all the safest of holiday travels. Regardless of the mode of transportation; plane, train, car, boat, pogostick etc.

Be careful out there, all of you.
Even those of you not technically traveling.
And never pass up an opportunity to tell someone that you love them.
Even if you've done it a thousand times; it will never be enough.

Congratulations to all you who've benefited. Took way longer than it should have. Happiness is so hard to have in this life; to have and hold on to. Even as someone who has lost it I still haven't been so maligned as to try and restrict someone else from it. I don't see how those people can live with themselves.
I wish you all the best.

I'll go back to my empty bed and cry myself to sleep.

But to quote my favorite vorlon: I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN HERE

And honestly, I never leave any site; always the last in the lighthouse. I'll be here until I get kicked out.
Just hope as people leave they leave a forwarding address.
Me, it doesn't seem like such a big deal; but I don't use it for money making so maybe that alters the parameters.

How appropriate that on this holiday whose general theme is love or family or togetherness in general; it only seems on par for my life that I would have to bury my last grandparent.

Does it make me a bad person that I find it easier to accept her death merely because she was older and I was prepared for it?

I lost my best friends and the woman I loved before I was old enough to rent a car. Had known them all since kindergarten. I can't get over them but my grandmother, I seem to be able to rebound from...

Internet withdrawal is terrible. The mind is like an engine running without oil; the boredom just starts to burn.
Almost done with my move to Seal Beach, stuck on a crappy hotel wifi at the moment....watching the submission count eek past 20k...

I find myself in another contemplative, melancholy mood and kind of wish for some insight other than just running it through my head over and over again. Posting this in the places I inhabit on the internet, looking for varying views and insights.

I graduated a little over two years ago with my degree(s) and was lucky enough to be hired immediately by one of the biggest and probably best companies to work for in the world. I know there are people in my generation that aren't so well off--at least financially. I still find myself cursing those who have a spouse and friends. Its been two years of work and sleep. Not that there is much else to do out here in the middle of nowhere where I live. Or so I keep using that as an excuse. I don't think that it will stand up to the coming year. I was recently offered a promotion that aligns with my career path. Unfortunately it's in Los Angeles. For those of you unaware but still kind enough to read this far, LA is where my fiancé was killed. Catalina off the coast of LA is where I proposed and 2015 is the year we were going to be married; in the fall. I would say that this city is drudging up some bad memories but the truth is that those memories have never really gotten that far from the surface. Maybe I'm making out to be more than it is, but I see it as a test, a cruel test. Ive been reading what I can find, looking for some wisdom to help. Been trying to find something to help, someway to move on. Ive been trying to find hobbies. Nothing seems to work. Having so few tastes and interests, its hard to expand them (Especially now that most of them are considered illegal in Calistan). And things to have in common and share are a prerequisite of having friends and a social life; another dead zone; another facet of life I've been wanting to improve.

As crazy as it sounds, to me, I believe in reincarnation. I believe my draconity is a product of it. I believe it is crazy, but I also believe in it--and that is also crazy. I also believe that the belief in reincarnation is adversely affecting my life now. The whole notion of 'meh, I'll try it next time around. Supposed to have a short life this round anyways thanks to my heart.' Just running the clock on this life out. I want to find something/someone worth living for in this life, but this just keeps getting in the way--been thinking it for far too long that its now permanent or my logical side just keeps it in power. Life ends. And life around me seems to end extremely prematurely. How do you get close to someone, form that bond when you know that its going to end. Moreover, how can it be fair to ask a woman to love you when you still love another woman? Even one no longer on this plane of existence. Usually these things I type are much larger but it appears that it is just the same want over and over again; spun, enhanced and mutilated with different words and an alteration to the psychological roadblock. What to do...

Some people just shouldn't breed.
People saying this was a prank. Chlorine gas is not a prank, it is an attack. The harm is deliberate. Unless of course the news coming out is wrong.

When did I pass 10k pageviews? Why did I pass 10k views?

Screw y'all.




....bet you weren't expecting that one.

Hope you have a better time of it than I do.

All these pieces being posted after the site was offline for like a week. *whistle*
Then Im like hey, maybe I'll---who am I kidding, I havent done anything in years.


:P

Sure you've all seen this going around, thought I'd get in on it.

http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/5259913/

Thank you all those who have served, all who are going to, and even those who want to.
Me and my people will continue to do our best to support you.


"Arming the Warrior" proudly for the past 2 years.

http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/5235763

:D

For great justice....and ponies.

http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/4925623/

Because you haven't gone yet.
No GO!

http://flightrising.com/index.php


http://flightrising.com/main.php?p=.....ge&id=3271

To all the past, present and future members of the armed forces:

Thank You.


(And my cousin in the marines said he counted me and all the others who work on military technologies, but whatever.)

There is a Graeth on the beastforum.com
That's not me.
Thanks for letting me know.
Might need to move to a new account now....great.....I mean graeth.

And for a myriad of media and subjects!
I asked, she said anything goes! Check out her work and see if she can fit your needs:
http://o3dipusr3x.deviantart.com/

Just got through the second season ending....





Fuck it; I'm a fan now.
When a 'To be continued' message causes you to curse---you're in.