So I haven't posted a journal in forever because life has been a shit show lately.
There has been so much going on since 2020 and it feels like I haven't been able to stop or catch up. I know I'm not the only one feeling like this either.


My grandpa passed away in 2021 and we just recently sold his house. I've worked since the start of the pandemic and through everyone being able to quit. I am now working nearly if not over 50 hours a week.
The only thing that has kept me being able to draw is me switching to entirely drawing on my ipad.


I am working on my own personal site again. I am going to try and organize my gallery nice and proper on there. I'm also hopefully planning to go on a big trip in September, one that I've been planning since before shit hit the fan in 2020.


I have a lot of projects I am working on, and I'm also getting ready for art fight.


I am also getting a new laptop soon. This one wants to shit out on me whenever I'm editing, and apparently its battery may be expanding. Who fucking knows. : )

Socials and stuff:
https://www.tiktok.com/@smilelikeacid
https://twitter.com/tigerchomped
https://tigerchomped.newgrounds.com/
https://www.facebook.com/MorganPutmanArt
https://smilelikeacid.tumblr.com/
https://www.youtube.com/user/infectedhyena
https://artfight.net/~Tigerchomped
https://toyhou.se/Tigerchomped/characters

I have 9 toyhouse codes to give out, and I'm willing to give them out for headshots/busts of some of my characters!

If you're interested let me know.

These are some of the characters I would like to have drawn - you can pick whoever you are most comfortable with.

https://toyhou.se/14971308.gomez
https://toyhou.se/7406442.skywalker
https://toyhou.se/9028609.mellow
https://toyhou.se/1189391.-avery-
https://toyhou.se/6173209.lotus-alt-
https://toyhou.se/1568647.lala
https://toyhou.se/6413325.clover
https://toyhou.se/10414277.greed
https://toyhou.se/10687089.grim

I had this on Buzzly but u know buzzly ded so, all the pokemon I've drawn so far.

So I have the draw every pokemon challenge thing going on and I want to try and keep up with who I have drawn so far.

I’m trying to save megas and legendaries for last because they look like pain to draw tbh.

Muna

Gloom

Blissey

Piplub

Cubone

Binacle

Qwilfish

Natu

Magcargo

Cubchoo

Dewgong

Spoink

Chingling

Wooper

Chatot

Woobat

Seel

Slowpoke

Elekid

Chimeco

Metapod

Goomy

Ditto

Magby

Swinub

Vanillish

Barboach

Cherubi

Honedge

Inkay

Grimer

Muk

Ekans

Farfetch’d

Drowzee

Morelull

Magicarp

Electrode

Gorebyss

Weepinbell

Bewear

Koffing

Kanto Digglet

Alola Digglet

Bronzor

Bellsprout

Luvdisc

Magnemite

Voltorb

Bronzor

Budew

Oddish

Wurmple

Burmy x3

Poliwag

Whismur

Dweeble

Venonat

Kakuna

Tympole

Swadloon

Baltoy

Caterpie

Horsea

Jigglypuff

Kricketot

Unown D

So, good news journal :D

Oreo is doing a lot better, she's not having any trouble getting around anymore and so far she hasn't shown any signs of any other issues.

Also, I plan on starting to write my own original stuff again. I don't really write many stories for my furry characters - most of them have human counterparts. I'm likely not going to post them here whenever I do, which will be ages from now because I am slow with writing. But wherever I post them I will link them here if anyone is interested.

My stories tend to have a lot of dark and gorey and upsetting stuff in them tho...So uh,,h,,h,nn. Yeh. :D

Yesterday morning at about 1:30.
I don't know what is going to happen now. I'm afraid. I want to wake up, I'm so tired of things being so bad. Every time I hit what feels like rock-bottom something else always happens.
When do things get better?

Pls hurry up and implement the stupid thing its been forever.

Fave artists:
 _Cheitora :whattheflup:  _Honorable  _charmsey  _yougotta  _yellow-k9  _dracononite

I'll update this over time.

So I'm a little more active on my twitter.
https://twitter.com/tigerchomped
It's easier for me to post things like sketches and other wips there. So yeh. I'm trying to not neglect FA but sometimes life gets hard lmfao.

Looking at my art goals for last year, I can't say I really achieved that many?
I worked on backgrounds more, but they were very quick and just an attempt to fill empty space.
I still need to work on things like perspective and color and drawing the eye into a certain spot/onto a certain character.

I want to learn how to draw people, I want to draw my human characters and I want to draw all of the fan art that I've been wanting to draw for a while.

I need to work on poses, I need to bring more life to my poses. I need to work on bodies and paws, I've really gotten comfortable with having a character looking in one direction and that's it.
I need to work on expressions and character interaction.

I don't have to master all of this in the years time, that's likely never going to happen but as long as I work little by little toward these things then I will be good.

I need to stop comparing myself to others.

I do like that I finished quite a few things this past year. Mostly because the majority of 2020 I was uh, very sad, but I guess that's normal.
I want to draw just as much if not more this year.

I know this year I'm going to want to draw a lot more pokemon because I barely worked on my pokedex challenge last year.

I want to work on more character refs this year. I want to draw more of my characters in general.

I also want to WRITE MORE.

I want to be more of a positive person this year. I want to branch out and talk to other people more.

falling down on a trampoline and not being able to get back up because everyone else keeps jumping was absolutely right and I hate it.

Two family friends have passed away this year. (not due to covid)
My grandpa has come down with some sort of bone cancer.
Two of my cats died.
My mom got fired over bullshit and I'm not saying that to be biased its bullshit no matter which way you look at it. Oh yeah and she got fired two fucking weeks before Christmas.
And now the upstairs toilet is fucking leaking from the tank and we don't fucking have the money to fix it and I just kinda want to tear my guts out because at this point this seems like the only thing I can do to appease whatever fucking deity or WHATEVER that is just fucking ruining everything.

Honestly that last gripe is probably the most fixable thing atm. But it just. Having the ceiling leak just kinda...ties this whole year together.

Sorry I just need to vent.

Oh. I guess also two of my tvs got broken this year. Because they fell off the mount. Two different mount things.
And Vader knocked over my monitor on my dekstop and there is a fucking crack in the lcd thingy part of the screen. Its hardly noticeable until it isn't and its annoying. And my phone broke.

And I don't have any means of going to the dentist like I had planned to do before the end of the year because the card I was going to put that visit on got eaten up by vet bills.

I just. Want to be fucking happy man. I know people are in far worst situations than I am but like...it just feels like a lot.

Working on raffle prizes and animating something.
Music will be on, no mic.
https://picarto.tv/ApocalypticArt
https://picarto.tv/ApocalypticArt
https://picarto.tv/ApocalypticArt

good morning

As many people are right now but.

I live in the south and my state is red, didn't change that I voted anyway but.

No matter what the outcome is it's going to be bad.

I don't wanna sound weird but like, I guess its just how this year has been and all the negativity that it has brought but I've had just a sinking feeling for a long time.

Anyway...I have a tiktok and I just use it mainly for art and sometimes kitten videos.

https://www.tiktok.com/@smilelikeac.....274309?lang=en Here is Vader playing minecrafts.

Again mostly just wanting to bump my old stuff off of here.
I've been struggling a lot with depression lately and I just. I'm not going to lie and be like this hasn't been like the worst I've felt in years and years. My dream career is to work with animals, and while Kisa was old and I kind of expected her to pass it didn't hurt any less when she finally did. Yuki was, as fucking pathetic as it sounds, like a baby to me and I just couldn't fucking cope with her dying for a good while. I didn't want to talk to anyone or look at anyone and it just felt like my guts were just twisted into a knot and. I couldn't sleep or eat or anything. I know that I did everything I could, and the vet did everything they could do for her, it just was very sudden and I know everyone wants to be like there were no signs of there being an issue but - she wasn't messing outside of the litter box, she ate, she played. She did seem a little lethargic some days, but it wasn't like she wouldn't move all day, or acknowledge anyone she just. I thought it was just mourning behavior.


Anyway.

We got three new kittens, two are from my work friend who had a cat that had kittens on the day Kisa passed. One of the kittens is technically for my Aunt, but I'm looking after her. I usually like to get cats out of shelters, but this time around a little black kitten stood out to me. His name is Vader and he is my boy.

I prob shouldn't plan to post more often or whatever because whenever I do that it flops but. I really wanna do some more halloween art this year because it's spooky month and things are sort of looking up. In a lot of ways. Like.
2020 redemption arc kind of ways.
Maybe,,,,

Yuki had a seizure this morning. She didn't make it to the vet.

This would have been her third trip to the vet in a single week. The vet was very upfront about her health, it was something that had gone undetected for a while. The main issue that we were focusing on at the vet was her diabetes, though the vet said that there were other issues as well. He gave her a 50% chance, and also said that there was a big chance that she could pass on her own...
I think the other issues very well may have included cancer. For her to go down as quick as she did and lose weight as quick as she did, I'm thinking that has to be something that also was bothering her.

She was 12 years old, I got her in 2008. She was very sick when we got her, my mom didn't think she would make it. I nursed her back to health.
I've never really had an interest in having kids. I know some people get mad when people without kids compare having a cat or dog to having a baby but Yuki was honestly the closest thing I had to a baby.

I've had a very hard time for a while coping with depression. I don't see anyone about it. I don't have the money and I don't have the time. Kisa, Yuki, and Spooky - and the other animals that have passed have always made me very happy. I get attached too easily, and too hard, to them. And I know that one day everything dies, and it's never easy but. I really wasn't mentally prepared for this.

I let myself think that getting up at 5:40 am, letting yuki eat, and then giving her insulin wouldn't have bothered me. And It wouldn't have if I could have gotten her stable. If she could have still had a quality of life, I would have done anything for her.

She was such a unique and silly little girl, she didn't like much of anyone else besides me.

It hurts to know she's gone. She slept right next to me through the night. We got up this morning, she ate well and I gave her the insulin and I thought it would just be a normal day. I thought that maybe we were on a path to getting her taken care of.

I just wanted to let everyone know.
I have a bunch of pictures of her, I'll post them whenever I feel ok enough to look through them...here's only a few of them...

I'm not taking the gofundmedown. It doesn't change the fact that I need help with her bills but. I just wanted everyone to know...

gf.me/u/ystdk3
I will share it some more later...

Kisa was a good old lady, she lived a long life and she had such a personality about her. She was 16 years old, and my boyfriend I had at the time gave her to me for my birthday when I was in middle school.

She didn't like me much at first but she grew to like me. She was very smart, she knew how to open doors, she knew how to unplug the TV when she didn't want it on, and she was all-around a sweet little girl. She didn't like to scratch or bite unless you were making her really mad.

She loved temptations cat treats, and would always demand them whenever we got home. She would start off with soft meows and then she would meow louder and louder until she got what she wanted.

She loved Midnight Bushie and Oreo when living in the apartments, and she loved Bruce and loved spooky and yuki, even though Yuki would fight with her a lot. She went from being called mama cat to grandma cat whenever she started getting older.

She had to go to the vet for a urinary tract infection. She let us know that something was very wrong with her, she would sit right in front of us on the table and just stare and when she didn't want treats or food we knew something was wrong.
She also had respiratory issues and when we took her to the vet and the vet tech asked if she had been coughing, even though she hadn't been coughing that day she started up right then and there.

There are so many stories I could talk about. She is and always has been a funny little cat. She loved to walk on a leash. When Midnight, Bushie and Bruce died we would take her out to see the graves in the yard, and soon she learned the path on her own and that's where she always took us.

It's hard t think about how I won't hear this sweet little meow, even though it got annoying at times, whenever I get home wanting cat treats or attention anymore. She liked watching golden girls and king of the hill at night.

Even though I'm almost 30 and I have no siblings it really hurts. It feels like a good chunk of my teenhood/adulthood is dying with her. If they could live longer and be healthy all their lives that would be the best thing.
I know some people don't get overly attached to their pets but it has always been really easy for me. She was and always will be part of the family, and even though I knew the day was coming I still wish I could stop it.

I don't know what I think about heaven and the afterlife and all of that, but I do have to admit that being able to see family again, both human and pets, is really nice to think about. It's nice to think that Midnight is waiting for Kisa to come home.

Honestly, SOME of these things will not happen this year but they will happen eventually, hopefully.

Cat portraits:

Yuki

Spooky

Bruce

Midnight Tigger

Cat comic thing

Another Kisa thing

Sandy and her pokemon team

Momo

Kirara

Pikachu

Balto

Roscoe and Desoto from Oliver and company

Cupcakes aftermath

50 Random pokemon

Shiny Pokemon

Droids
Halloween art re-draws

Lotus halloween costumes

Refs:
Alrick
Marlo

Poppy


Themes

Eye removal
Inner beauty