So I finally made it to my first furry con and I'll have to say that it's not as bad as folks were making it out to be. Heh, frankly after work today I think I'd rather go back. My one big complaint is that WN seemed really disorganized and there didn't seem like there was any sort of cohesive plan. The only thing that seemed remotely organized were the meal times. Despite that I did have a decent time. Metsome nice folks, got an awsome badge from  thatgreenmonster, commissioned some art and baught some stuff from the charity auchtion thing. It looks like I've avoided coming down with con crud but I did come home with enough other afflictions. The bug bites all over, the nice poison ivy rash across the top of my feet and in between my toes along with the patches of missing skin from falling down Devil's Slide kind of make up for not catching the crud. Though it sounded like the crud had begun spreading before the con was even over. And of course who can forget the Monday morning tiny toad invasion. It looked a bit like a Biblical plague in some areas. You couldn't take a step without stepping on one of the little buggers. Anyway, it was enjoyable and I survived. Now I need to go put ointment on all my afflictions.

It's slowly dawning on me that here in about a week I'll be leaving for WN. I'm sure this fact has crossed my mind before now but it's just now starting to set in. Lately I've been so swamped with crap that the weeks have just kind of blurred together. I just hope that I can keep my days straight and REMEMBER that I'm leaving Thursday morning for WN and not work. That's my current worry.

Highjacked from  OneEyedDoe

Bear
[x]-you're the guy/gal nobody wants to mess with
[ ]-you're quite lazy, and don't like the cold
[ ]-you're the biggest in your group of friends
[ ]-you are easy to get anger, especially when protecting those that are close
[ ]-you are a big eater, and will eat more than everyone else at the table
[ ]-you frighten others easily, but get frightened easily yourself
[ ]-you let your muscles do the talking
[x]-you like to eat berries and fish
[ ]-you can sleep for days on end
[ ]-you're the "warrior" of the group
Total Points = 2

Wolf
[ ]-you look out for those that are close to you, and are fiercely loyal
[x]-you prefer to stay in small groups of friends
[ ]-you are protective of what you have, and can sometimes be greedy
[x]-you are tough, and can handle smaller injuries
[ ]-most people adore you
[x]-you like to run in wide open spaces
[ ]-you're favourite game is tag
[x]-you snarl over things that annoy you ( i wouldnt call it a snarl.. more of a aggravated grunt. )
[ ]-you enjoy to play fight
[ ]-you're the "knight" of the group

Total Points = 4

Owl
[ ]-you are very perceptive, and have great vision
[x]-you stay up most of the night, and sleep in longer than most
[x]-you don't eat much, but what you do eat sates your hunger
[x]-you are very fast and stealthy
[x]-you prefer to pick your foes off one at a time
[ ]-you are double jointed
[x]-you can move almost silently when the need arises
[]-you have long sharp finger nails
[]-you are known as very beautiful
[]-you're the "archer" of the group

Total Points = 5

Fox
[]-you are clever, and let your wits settle your problems
[x]-you are fast, and able to escape danger easily
[ ]-you are the weakest in your group, but not necessarily the easiest prey
[ ]-you are stealthy, and prefer to avoid conflict when possible
[]-you would rather get into you enemy's head rather than their face
[x]-you are agile but clumsy sometimes
[ ]-you have red hair
[ ]-you don't like others being where they're not suppose to be
[x]-you enjoy sneaking up on people
[ ]-you're the "thief" of the group

Total Points = 3

Deer
[ ]-you like to be around a lot of people, and stick with crowds
[ ]-you can escape danger with pure speed and endurance
[ ]-most consider you the easiest prey
[x]-you aren't very strong, but when you're angry you can pack a punch
[ ]-most consider you very graceful
[x]-you have very acute senses, especially hearing and smelling
[ ]-you are a vegetarian
[ ]-you love the ballet
[ ]-gymnastics are your specialty
[ ]-you're the "cleric" of the group

Total Points = 2

Bat
[x]-nighttime is your time to shine
[x]-the daylight blinds you a lot
[x]-you don't see very well or at all
[ ]-you'd rather fly than walk
[x]-you are known as different
[ ]-you have big ears and/or long fingers
[ ]-you like hanging upside down
[ ]-you like sleeping during the day
[x]-you're "One of a Kind"
[ ]-you're the "spy" of the group

Total Points = 5

Rat
[x]-you're considered evil and dark and sometimes emo
[x]-you like areas that are damp and dark
[ ]-you practice or want to practice magic or the dark arts
[x]-you prefer candle light over regular light
[ ]-your favorite color is black
[x]-you love things that have to do with skulls or death
[ ]-you have a demon inside of you struggling to get out
[x]-you enjoy being alone
[ ]-you hate your parents/siblings
[ ]-you're the "death" of the group

Total Points = 5

Mouse
[ ]-you're very timid and skittish around almost anything
[ ]-you're the one most bullies can stuff into a locker
[ ]-cats scare you
[ ]-you have nightmares almost every night
[ ]-you still sleep with a stuffed animal
[ ]-night lights are your best friends
[ ]-your meals are quite small
[ ]-you have friends that you can hide behind
[ ]-you are known as being quiet and baby cute
[ ]-you're the "coward" of the group

Total Points = 0

Pig
[ ]-you're known as being smelly and uncleaned
[ ]-you sleep in trash
[ ]-eating is your favourite sport
[ ]-chocolate and pizza are considered healthier snacks than apples to you
[ ]-you sometimes wear the same clothes for two weeks in a row
[ ]-showers and soap are your worst enemy/nightmares
[ ]-you tend to break wind a lot
[ ]-mud is your best friend
[ ]-your house is a mess but you don't care
[ ]-you're the "slob" of the group


Total Points = 0

Monkey
[ ]-you're happy-go-lucky and random
[ ]-you love eating bananas
[ ]-you are known as cute but dangerous
[ ]-you love swinging and heights
[ ]-you are awesome at climbing trees
[ ]-you know how to say things in sign language
[ ]-playing is your specialty
[ ]-you enjoy joking around
[ ]-you can stay awake forever if you wanted to
[ ]-you're the "fun one" of the group

Total Points = 4

Snake
[ ]-you love being evil and mean
[ ]-you're the type to smash people into a wall
[x]-you carry a knife with you at all costs
[ ]-you've had over 10 girlfriends/boyfriends
[x]-you're no longer a virgin
[ ]-you've been arrested before
[ ]-you love partying
[ ]-you usually eat your meals whole or chew only twice or so
[x]-leather is epic to you
[ ]-you're the "criminal" of the group

Total Points = 3

I guess I'm an Owl/Bat/Rat

So I'm not sure but I think I may have lost a week somewhere. I woke up to it apparently being Thursday and the funny thing is that I don't remember much of Sunday night through last night. Even last night is a little fuzzy. Sad part is that I'm 99% sure I've been sober the entire time. Where the fuck did my week go?! What have I been doing for the past few days?!

I'm starting to feel like I'm loosing want to do stuff anymore or getting kind of "bored" with things I'm working on. Like how I've been hand tying hair wefts for the wig part of a costume I'm working on. Hell, the entire project itself even. I keep running into points where I'm really eager to move forward with it but I can't for one reason or another. Usually that I don't quite have the money to get the materials. There's lots of things that I want to do but either I don't have the time or the money or both to do them. I just feel kind of bound down by stuff. Bound down by everyday life. I'm just dragging on empty from having to be the "responsible one" who makes sure everything gets done. I'm the one that pays the bills and takes care of everything practically. I'm the one that has to have all the answers. Why? Heh...this may be why I don't have enough fun. I don't have time for it.

So, last night we were sitting in the living room goofing off and this big ol' nasty cricket came crawling across the floor. You know the kind that live in crawl spaces under houses. Well I got the brigt idea to try and shoot it with the blow dart gun. Neither of us were expecting much. Honestly I thought I was just going to get a dart stuck in the floor but I actually hit the damn thing. Shot it right in two! I was so excited that I hit it. That's about the point that it was decided that I don't get out and have fun enough.

Apparently I was more of a punk/emo type teen than I thought. I was trying to remember a song that had a crazy music video that I'd been wanting to watch the past couple nights so I decided to see if Yahoo still had their music video section. They did. Looking through some of the music videos the realization that I was a rather dark depressed teen kinda dawned on me. The bulk of the videos were rated when I was in high school. Then again I haven't really moved to far up, just sort of figured out to cover things up better.

Some days I wonder what future anthropologist will think of my skeleton if they ever dig me up. Last year I agrivated an old pectoral muscle injury on my left side while trying to cough up chest congestion. Several years ago, back about 2004 or so, I slipped and fell on my left side. I landed just right...or wrong depending on how you want to catagorize it, where I pretty much shifted everything attatched to my ribcage on my left side over a good inch or two. Most likely severly pulled my pectoral muscle group if not out right tore something. It took months and a couple bottles of pain killers for it to finally get better. This year I think I managed to crack a rib or something on my right. So yeah...it's back to seeing how many bottles of ibuprophren I can go through and spending lots of quality time with a heat pad. The funny thing is that any other time I won't even touch pain killers. I rarely get headaches or anything like that. But this....well, if I'm going to make it through life and work I have to start incorporating a hand full of pain killers every 4 hours into my daily diet until the pain goes away.

Edit: So, it's been established that I've cracked a rib or some similar bone related injury. After much poking and proding the source of the pain has been located and it's not likely that it's muscle related since there's not much muscle there to be pulled.

[ ] you meow/bark to get attention
[x] you find pets toys amusing
[ ] you get hyper by the smell of catnip
[x] you growl/hiss when someone gets too close to your food
[x] you growl/hiss when someone you dislike is too close to you
[ ] you purr/shake your leg when someone shows you affection
[ ] if someone tosses a ball, you chase it and bring it back
Total: 3

[ ] you love to be scratched behind the ear
[x] you love fish/meat
[ ] you like to stick your head out trough the window of a moving car.
[ ] you like when people pet your head
[ ] people can make you stop doing stuff by hitting you on the nose with a newspaper
[ ] you think feathers are fun to play with
Total: 1

[x] you sleep a lot during daytime
[ ] you enjoy scaring birds
[ ] you lick peoples faces to show you like them
[ ] you bite people if they annoy you
[x] you tend to steal food from your friends/family's plate when you have eaten all of yours
[ ] milk or water is your favorite drink
Total: 2

[ ]you own a collar and you enjoy wearing it
[ ] you own a leash and enjoy wearing it
[x] you own animal ears/tail/paws or a fursuit
[x] you enjoy long walks in the park
[ ] you meow/bark when you see something you want
Total: 2

[ ] you call your hands and feet "paws"
[ ] you tilt your head when you do not understand what someone is talking about
[ ] you run to the door when someone mentions a walk
[ ] you really enjoy cuddling
[ ] you stretch your body and whimper a bit every morning when you wake up
[x] you can wake up and go back to sleep right away after looking around
Total: 1

[ ] you have your favorite spot besides your bed where you like to sleep
[ ] you meow or bark very often
[ ] you hide when you get scared
[ ] you run to the door to see who it is every time someone comes in to the house
[x] you like to chase flying insects and try to catch them with your bare hand
[ ] you tend to chew on stuff a lot
[ ] you like to do tricks to get a treat
Total: 1

[ ] you own a wearable item/tag with your name on it
[ ] you refer to your self as an animal
[x] your username has something to do with animals
[x] your e-mail has something to do with animals
[ ] if you get a bleeding wound, you lick it to make it feel better
[x] you look for edible stuff often
Total: 3

[x] you often find yourself looking through the window for a long time
[ ] you like to say hi to strangers
[ ] you like to be petted when you have done something good
[ ] people think you act like a pet
[x] you growl/hiss at stuff you do not like
[ ] you like to eat grass
[ ] if you get wet, you shake to get rid of the water
Total: 2

Final total: 15

Take your score and multiply it by 2
Put your title as "I'm _% Furry"

So I managed to get my printer and my computer to finally start talking to each other again. Just had to reinstall the driver. I scanned a backlog of doodles from work that I'm debating if I want to try and digitally color or not. There's also a couple pictures of troll birds in there too. Now I just have to get my lazy ass motivated to upload them. The problem is that lately I've been having trouble finding the motivation to do much of anything. I'm just starting to feel burnt out on life and everthing. Dunno if it's because I've felt so busy and rushed lately or if it's the fact that I'm currently vehicularly handicapped and will be such do longer than I would like. I was supposed to get my new vehicle last week or something but apparently it needs a new windshield now. This means I'm still stuck driving an old straight shift truck. Doesn't sound too bad other than the fact that I'm not too good at driving a straight shift and about the most comfortable I feel in drivig it right now is just to work and back and that's only at certain times. So yeah....there's lots of culprits as to why I'm feeling burnt out on life. Some of them I don't quite feel like airing on here but there's a lot of stressful forces ricocheting around me right now and I'm not quite sure what to do.

So I'm making a sort of to do list of stuff I need to get done by the end of July. Now mind this is all stuff that I need to get done by the end of July all while working about 40+ hours a week and not becoming a hermit.

-Finishing touches on the undead dragon.
-Paint said dragon.
-Buy fabric for hood and kanekalon for wig.
-Finish embroidry and sewing together under shirt.
-Sew outer robe.
-Pick a fabric and skirt pattern.
-Decide whether I'm going to invest in an airbrush and compressor.
-Finish out wings.
-Build a sturdier harness system.
-Remake stilts using new stilt pattern that doesn't require shanghaing someone with a welder.
-Make a staff.
-Keep hold of my sanity.

I think that's it....

I want to dig my lungs out with a wooden spoon right now...and maybe clear out my ear with an ice pick. I'm getting over whatever this is at an agonizingly slow pace and it's starting to drive me a little nutty. The recent casting issues I've had haven't helped either. The only thing I can gues is that somehow I didn't mix my second round of resin enough so everything didn't get mixed together all the way. So it didn't harden like it was supposed to and just turned into stale merange. I was able to get one horn cast salvaged but my mold for the other is pretty much shot and I don't feel up to trying to redo it. My other choice is to just improve which will likely be the case. We'll see what kind of miracles I can pull out of my arse with a little air dry clay and some apoxy sculpt. Thought speaking of which, it showed up in the mail today so yay for that. Hopefully I can get a couple other kinks worked out and everything goes smoothly. It seems like the deadline for this is so close but I've still got about a little over 6 months yet to work. After the head is done I just got to spiffy up the wings, remake the harness system, convence someone with a welder to do a little welding for me so that I can get my new stilts done, and finish up all the sewing I need to do and make a magic staff. No presure. *falls over* No pressure at all.

I went to cast my horns last night. The first batch of resin I mixed up went fine. It cured nicely and everything. Second batch and second horn...not so good. Somehow I managed to not get the second batch mixed propperly or something and it did not set. After 24 hours it turned into something like crusty merange. The other reason why I don't think I got it completely mixed propperly was that one part of the mix was running out a pin hole in the mold. So...yeah...time for plan B. Atleast I ordered some Apoxy sculpt sunday night and I've got one good horn. I wanted to have two complete horns but since my second mold is pretty much ruined with a lovely coating of something that's in between the consistancy of wet confectioner's sugar and crusty merange that doesn't want to come off. Maybe the improve will come out looking better since it's on the side that already has some trauma sculpted into it already.

For the first time in almost 4 years I took a sick day. Yesterday, the cold that I've been fighting finally decided to try and kick my ass. I'm so congested right now and plus my right ear feels like it's about to explode. Got some meds from the doctor so hopefully things will start clearing out. I just want my ears to clear out and the ringing to stop.

I need to wear fuckin' respitory protection gear! But I hate it and it gives me a headache. Seriously, dust masks and such tend to hit a presure point or something on the back of my head that gives me a headache if I wear them for too long.
However, despite my apparent effort to screw up my lungs and such, I managed to get my cast cut. Still got some sanding to smooth things out and fine the propper screws for my henges. Also need to get some apoxie sculpt to smooth a couple things out.

So after spending the morning in a cloud of filler, wich I'm hoping won't give me some sort of nasty lung condition, I got my first smooth-on cast poured. I'm probably going to need another set of resin and definatly another set of silocone to get the horns molded/cast. I'm going to wait and officially pull the cast from the mold later this afternoon. So anyone going to the 4state meet this after noon will get a special treat. I know  caldaq seems stoaked to see this thing.

So I tried to put my first layer of silicone on my sculpt for my mold. The only problem is that the house is too damn cold and the cure time is taking really super long. After well over an hour it's finally stopped dripping. I turned up the heat a little but it's hard to keep the heat up to working tempeture of 72F. Hopefully it won't be too late tomarrow to try and continue with the layers.

I finally started molding stuff. I put my hinges in to mold. I'm hoping the jar of silicone that I've had knocking around since my first failed efforts this past summer is still good. I have enough time to where if it just ends up a gooey mess I can just pitch it and try again. We'll see what it looks like when I get home tomarrow night. Also all the horror stories I've been hearing about getting Smooth-on from Dick Blick's has me a little worried. I'm hoping that the kit I've got isn't one of the bad ones. *crosses fingers*

The insurance company offering to pay you more than what you payed for you car in the first place...Win!
Going into car limbo again with no clue as to what you could be driving next...Lose.

I'm still hoping that it isn't the flaumbaed ambulance that my dad found. It just had a small electrical fire. :(

So I guess just getting back to business as usual was what I needed to knock me out of the horrible slump that I ended up in. Although if one thinks about it, I never really "left" work for break since we didn't shut down like last year. Now, I'm not quite back to running on 100%...or atleast close to since it's been a long time since that. Things are slowly getting back on schedule and maybe I'll have some more costuming updates here soon as I wouldn't be surprised if I start molding and casting this weekend.

-Sedatives
-A REAL vacation with no worries
-A liter of Jack and Coke
-A Time Machine
-To find an undamaged front end of a 2000 Toyota Echo for cheap
-A chemicaly induced coma for the next year

Frankly, with how frustrated, agitated, and angry I've been lately I probably need either the first or the last one. I'm probably finally starting to lose it from all the shit that's been flying my way the past couple weeks. The Christmas season this year has been nothing short of a fucking nightmare. So it looks like my New Year's resolution for right now is to try and not come completely unhinged. I can't say right now what I'll be when I crawl out on the other side of this shitfest but I'm pretty sure I won't be the same.

Sorry about all of the angst laiden entries lately, hopefully this won't become the norm.

Just trying to keep going forward even though I have moments where I don't want to and it feels like no one has any faith in me anymore. My Break from Hell is almost over so here about Tuesday I can go back to the mindless monotiny of my day job which might help numb some of the things I'm feeling. There are time where I feel like I'm two steps from needing to go see a shrink. I don't know if I'm becoming depressive or developing PTSD. Not like I want either right now though now I'm starting to have major "freakout" moments when riding in a vehicle with someone else. In a way I feel like I did when I had my first accident almost 4 years ago in Colorado. It's taken me this long to actually be somewhat willing to talk about it but I still don't like to.

For now about the only thing that's keeping me on a somewhat even keel right now is good tea and attempting to force myself to keep working on my dragon sculpt. I wanted to get it done during break but that didn't happen so I'm hoping to get it done in the next couple weeks so that I can start on another sculpt for a different project. One thing at a time for now.

So yeah. Someone must really fuckin' hate me this month. In the past week I have managed to discombobulate TWO vehicles now. First it was the wagon getting side swiped by some lady that didn't know how to drive her truck. Then this morning I managed to plant the Echo on it's side in a ditch. Shot right through an S curve and straight into a ditch. I did manage to get it rolled back over onto it's wheels and driven out of said ditch with a little help. It's kind of incompasitated now since something happened to the driver's side front wheel. Either the axel is warped or fucked up the suspension.
So let's recount what's happened to me so far this month:
-Fell out of  stuntcoyote's Jeep while it was parked in a parking lot and got a nice bruise plus redistributed the fat on that side of my leg.
-Having to work during my "free" vacation.
-Got side swipped by a Chevy Silverado while going to get wrapping paper.
-Bruised my sternum while closing a car door.
-Parked another car on it's side in a ditch and fucked up the front wheel.

And by some miracle I haven't landed myself in the hospitle yet.

Well this night has been awsome. I was out running some quick errands and Iwas on my way to Michaels in search of some decent wrapping paper. It's the kind that is printed on brown paper...really hard shit to find. Well as I was about to turn down the usual way that I go the dumb lady in the other turn lane tries to shift lanes in mid turn and just plows right into me. I'm fine,just mildly pissed. The car though now has a good sized dint in the driver's side door and the mirror is knocked off and in the passenger seat until further notice. Yay.
This public service announcement was sent via my new iTouch. I was too lazy to turn on my computer.

So, yesterday wasn’t too bad. Went to Purple Burrito then bummed around Michael’s and Target. The down side is that my work schedule might be descending into some unknown ring of hell due to an upcoming project. If I tell you what I do I may have to kill you. Anyway, on a lighter note I now have $150 in blow money from relatives that I can’t decide what to do with. The problem is that there’s several things I want to do with it but I can’t decide which one. I need help because I can’t make important decisions by my self. Maybe I should go into politics someday….nah.
Choices are:
A. New iPod. My current Nano is kind of juryrigged to work due to the touch disk not working hardly anymore plus it seems to be getting firtzier as time goes by. I can’t decide if I want to get a new Nano or an iTouch.
B. A Kindle or Nook or such. I will probably never be able to afford an iPad even though they look really neat so the other two are second best.
C. Put it towards a trip to Wild Nights this spring.
D. Put it towards something like a partial from  magpiebones