More things and stuff
Posted 12 years agoOk so some really quick things
First: A part of the reason there have been no new art is i thought my tablet was broken. After i stopped being stupid found out it was just a cord and had that replaced. XP
Second: Finals in art coming up. I had a painting project changed into an animation project however i am not allowed to use anything digital to animate. This piece must also be 1:30. To anyone who has never tried to animate before....that is a lot of work. On top of that i was given another project in digital video. Same thing, same length of time, both due in two weeks. thus my absence from making a lot of art on here shall be a tad longer.
So yes to those waiting on art from me, i deeply apologize and will try to work out some sort of compensation.
I do hope to start posting a lot more work soon. I have a lot of ideas and i am excited to get started on them.
So yeah...anyway
P-e-A-c-E my friends X3
things that have happened recently...
Posted 12 years agoSo ya not really an all to important thing for yous guys but I am officially no longer single...so ya that happened.
First boyfriend ever XD
Woo XD (Twirls a sparkler)
other than that
royally screwing myself time wise so....ya XD
i shall have more things for yous guys in the future X3
till than
P-e-A-c-E
and omg i have a boyfriend thats freakin crazy i cant believe it omg XD X3
(sorry again this is just something i really didnt expect to happen XD )
First boyfriend ever XD
Woo XD (Twirls a sparkler)
other than that
royally screwing myself time wise so....ya XD
i shall have more things for yous guys in the future X3
till than
P-e-A-c-E
and omg i have a boyfriend thats freakin crazy i cant believe it omg XD X3
(sorry again this is just something i really didnt expect to happen XD )
Happy songs X3
Posted 12 years agothis band just makes me happy
been listening to them the past few days and just feeling overall just happy. Despite all the stress and shit for school just generally pleased with the world. Weird how much music can influence a mood. Caught myself nearly dance walking at one point XD (yes this happened i got looked at strangely XD )
anyway ya thought i'd share...
that is if i did the embedding right
been listening to them the past few days and just feeling overall just happy. Despite all the stress and shit for school just generally pleased with the world. Weird how much music can influence a mood. Caught myself nearly dance walking at one point XD (yes this happened i got looked at strangely XD )
anyway ya thought i'd share...
that is if i did the embedding right
A bit of practice
Posted 12 years agoHello all
Well basically this is a heads up for the art I hope to be making coming up. A lot of it will be trying new things and different styles. Mostly so i can better myself as an artist and hopefully show you guys even more awesome stuff in the future.
I will still be working on the pieces that i have promised people (which i know now there are a lot more of XD )
and on me trades and commissions
but a lot of my work will be doing the new practices
in other news trying my hand at a little bit of animating so hopefully have that up soon
and maybe a big project coming up.
Soooo ya. Fun fun stuff
P-e-A-c-E my Friends
Yay V-day journal XD
Posted 12 years agoOK so i am currently running on three hours sleep and had a bit of a thought over this valentines day
(Yes you can imagine the mental state i was in when i thought of it)
But basically just started wandering about that special person ya meet and spend the rest of your life with.
I mean if you have found someone than i am happy for you
I hope today is wonderful for you and your significant other, have as much fun as possible X3
but for my fellow single people, ya ever wander what that person that you will truly love is doing right now? Just started thinking that i hope they're happy whoever, and wherever they are. Wander if i've met them yet. Wander what they are studying, what their dreams are now etc.
I dont know, just random thoughts.
Anyway imma go toke up and try and do some art
Again i'd like to say thank you guys for supporting and watching me. Hopefully soon i will be able to get art out more frequently
Oh and soon going to be posting a link to my more....i guess professional works? Stuff outside of furry work ya. Currently its just a facebook account but i plan to mess around with it over this weekend
anway
P-e-A-c-E my friends
*grumble, headsmash, pass out*
Posted 12 years agoI'm sure others are feeling this way with either school or work as well...TOO MANY THINGS! XP
Deer...
Posted 12 years agoDeer and elk...oh and husky...
Those are the three animals i get when i ask people what animal i must resemble. So ya I guess i will be drawing Noise a bit more for a while XD
Anyway what do you guys think? We have had times...right? You know...the talking times and...ya XD
Sorry rather bored tonight. Couple drawing ideas and sketches going, and of course work to do but no real inspiration. Kinda blah XP
I shall have things to post soon.
Anyway ya weigh in on it if you like. Talking an what not is fun.
Imma go drink a bit more XD
P-e-A-c-E
Yay new goals and things
Posted 12 years agoOk so yes, the sketch submission everyday, as a new years thing not yet completing it but i am drawing more so hey thats a plus right?
Also new goal, reach 1000 watchers
How do i do this? Not entirely sure XD Just going to keep throwing art at here till it happens XD
Anyway an art professor here gave me something to think about that's been grating the back of my mind. He made the argument that an artist most important audience, that is the one that validates whether or not he/she is a good artist or not is that person's peers. After thinking about it for a little while it makes sense. Thus i have to wonder what higher tier artists would say about my work...
anyway
The schedule i have for this year is working out so that i should be able to do more art. And get all of my shit together XD
So yes, official commission prices and hopefully more regular art posts will be coming very soon.
Thank you again guys for following me and liking my art. I really and truly appreciate it.
Much love to all of ya
and
P-e-A-c-E
Also new goal, reach 1000 watchers
How do i do this? Not entirely sure XD Just going to keep throwing art at here till it happens XD
Anyway an art professor here gave me something to think about that's been grating the back of my mind. He made the argument that an artist most important audience, that is the one that validates whether or not he/she is a good artist or not is that person's peers. After thinking about it for a little while it makes sense. Thus i have to wonder what higher tier artists would say about my work...
anyway
The schedule i have for this year is working out so that i should be able to do more art. And get all of my shit together XD
So yes, official commission prices and hopefully more regular art posts will be coming very soon.
Thank you again guys for following me and liking my art. I really and truly appreciate it.
Much love to all of ya
and
P-e-A-c-E
New Years X3
Posted 12 years agoYes hope everyone had a happy one.
Currently sick right now, but that only means sitting in bed an doing art....if i can keep my eyes open.
Before i continue i would like to say that cold medicine in certain combinations really messes with your head....like its taken me a half hour to type this much...XD
anyway
New years yes
we did what the Mayans said couldnt be done...with their calender that kinda just arbatrarily ended XD
So heres hoping that 2013 turns out to be awesome
Now on to resolutions
First off,- do at least one sketch or piece a day. I really want improve upon some things.
Second- Lose about 50lbs total....really up there goal but meh
third- follow through with more of my ideas
and....i know there were more but ya....medicine XP
So too all you guys
stay awesome
many thanks and much love for your support.
P-e-A-c-E
Blah...
Posted 12 years agoXP
holidays yes
I hope everyone's was awesome
and i hope everyone's New Years is also awesome...
i'll make a new years journal-y thing at some point but ya....not dead
just not very productive XP
P-e-A-c-E
I needs a tad bit of help...AND I'm holding another raffle
Posted 13 years agoI have no monies....so paying rent and food is...kinda not possible right now XD
Thus i will open up sketch commissions
This is the first time i'm doing this..and more so to try it out but they will be pay what you wish with a minimum of $5
and look something like
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/9077051/
or
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/9076927/
or
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/9076938/
I've also decided to have another raffle
This will be for a full color piece
Simply make a journal and link to this and i shall enter ya
the drawing shall be on Wed this upcoming week X3
So i think thats it
oh and what do you guys think of the name Noise for that new character? Cause me name is GreyNoise and i have a grey character but no Noise character
P-e-A-c-E
name meme thing
Posted 13 years agoThis looked like fun so i did it XD
I dont agree with all of em but this twas fun XD
A = French Kisser
B = Good Kisser
C = Will kick your ass
D = Very very easy for people to like you
E = Crazy as hell
F = Loves it hard
G = Can kick your ass
H = Freaking hot
I = Everyone's best friend
J = Hot
K = Crazy
L = Beautiful eyes
M = Very good kisser
N = Cool person
O = Different
P = The best at all sports
Q = An animal lover
R = Beautiful/handsome
S = Damn sexy
T = Easy to fall in love with
U = Will make you laugh till your sides burst
V = Most amazing kisser EVAR
W = Makes people laugh
X = Never lets people tell you what to do
Y = Can be funny and dumb at the same time
Z = Loved by everyone
RESULT:
I have 2 names that people call me so First
J- Hot
E-Crazy as Hell
E
~~~
G-Can Kick your Ass
R-Beautiful/Handsome
E
Y-Can be funny and dumb at the same time
N-Cool Person
O-Different
I-Everyone's Best Friend
S-Damn Sexy
E
I dont agree with all of em but this twas fun XD
A = French Kisser
B = Good Kisser
C = Will kick your ass
D = Very very easy for people to like you
E = Crazy as hell
F = Loves it hard
G = Can kick your ass
H = Freaking hot
I = Everyone's best friend
J = Hot
K = Crazy
L = Beautiful eyes
M = Very good kisser
N = Cool person
O = Different
P = The best at all sports
Q = An animal lover
R = Beautiful/handsome
S = Damn sexy
T = Easy to fall in love with
U = Will make you laugh till your sides burst
V = Most amazing kisser EVAR
W = Makes people laugh
X = Never lets people tell you what to do
Y = Can be funny and dumb at the same time
Z = Loved by everyone
RESULT:
I have 2 names that people call me so First
J- Hot
E-Crazy as Hell
E
~~~
G-Can Kick your Ass
R-Beautiful/Handsome
E
Y-Can be funny and dumb at the same time
N-Cool Person
O-Different
I-Everyone's Best Friend
S-Damn Sexy
E
why the lack of art?
Posted 13 years agoGood question me XD
Basically i am displeased with certain aspects of my art style and have been doing many many sketches to try and fix this.
This is also the reason why the pictures i have promised people and the commissions are moving a bit slower.
I do not want to give someone something i can't be proud of, especially if they are paying me for it.
So once i get the kinks worked out of my style (its faces /frontal views mostly/) i shall flood FA with as much art as i possible can.
Perhaps make it a goal to fill up the whole front page XD
Other than that
I always welcome critique and suggestions or questions
thus if ya have any shoot X3
P-e-A-c-E
Basically i am displeased with certain aspects of my art style and have been doing many many sketches to try and fix this.
This is also the reason why the pictures i have promised people and the commissions are moving a bit slower.
I do not want to give someone something i can't be proud of, especially if they are paying me for it.
So once i get the kinks worked out of my style (its faces /frontal views mostly/) i shall flood FA with as much art as i possible can.
Perhaps make it a goal to fill up the whole front page XD
Other than that
I always welcome critique and suggestions or questions
thus if ya have any shoot X3
P-e-A-c-E
Something a tad funny
Posted 13 years agoApparently i dont act gay enough
i was told that yesterday
So now im both curious what is the proper amount of gay-acting one must do to be gay
and
how can i act more gay
any suggestions XD
Good News Everyone (I shall be able to make lots an lots of
Posted 13 years agoshirts
Today i talked to one of my professors and looks like I can buy a couple screens from them (Screen Printing screens)
Meaning i would have the ability to easily make shirts....cause you know i said i would...like a long time ago....so ya
Cool thing number two
I have a design ready to go right now which i shall post tonight.
I don't expect to fill my list but i shall have 25 slots open for them.
Each shirt will be $20 (Since i have to ship em...and buy the shirts)
If you want a fully colored version it will be $30
You get to choose the spot the design is printed
I have been using black for the outline though i do have Pink and Red and Blue
I shall also be purchasing the shirts tomorrow some time
Thus if you want a specific color for the shirt i need to know tonight or early tomorrow
if you wish to buy one
post here and than note me with specifics (size, color of shirt, color of design, etc)
If you read this an don't want one I ask that you post a journal directing people to it....as i am kinda running out of money for rent XP
Thank you my friends and
P-e-A-c-E
1)
2)
3)
4)
5)
6)
7)
8)
9)
10)
11)
12)
13)
14)
15)
16)
17)
18)
19)
20)
21)
22)
23)
24)
25)
Today i talked to one of my professors and looks like I can buy a couple screens from them (Screen Printing screens)
Meaning i would have the ability to easily make shirts....cause you know i said i would...like a long time ago....so ya
Cool thing number two
I have a design ready to go right now which i shall post tonight.
I don't expect to fill my list but i shall have 25 slots open for them.
Each shirt will be $20 (Since i have to ship em...and buy the shirts)
If you want a fully colored version it will be $30
You get to choose the spot the design is printed
I have been using black for the outline though i do have Pink and Red and Blue
I shall also be purchasing the shirts tomorrow some time
Thus if you want a specific color for the shirt i need to know tonight or early tomorrow
if you wish to buy one
post here and than note me with specifics (size, color of shirt, color of design, etc)
If you read this an don't want one I ask that you post a journal directing people to it....as i am kinda running out of money for rent XP
Thank you my friends and
P-e-A-c-E
1)
2)
3)
4)
5)
6)
7)
8)
9)
10)
11)
12)
13)
14)
15)
16)
17)
18)
19)
20)
21)
22)
23)
24)
25)
I got dared to do this....so here it goes
Posted 13 years agoComment on this journal and I'll...
1. Tell you something I learned about by looking at your Fa page for 13 seconds
2. Tell you a colour you remind me of
3. Tell you my first memory of you
**4. Ask you a question **
5. Tell you something I like about you
6. Give you a nickname
7. Tell you the object that is to the left of me
8. Dare you to do this yourself in your journal
1. Tell you something I learned about by looking at your Fa page for 13 seconds
2. Tell you a colour you remind me of
3. Tell you my first memory of you
**4. Ask you a question **
5. Tell you something I like about you
6. Give you a nickname
7. Tell you the object that is to the left of me
8. Dare you to do this yourself in your journal
What? Your Art is evolving!
Posted 13 years agoOk every couple of months i feel like i take a fairly large step forward. Almost like some sort of bright flash and than im a new artist...slightly. I at least learn to do new things (Ya im clever with that title there...you see what i did)
But this time i can kind of feel it coming on. Just like that feeling when you know somethings going to change but you dont fully know what yet. That kinda feeling
So in preparation was wondering what i should focus more on. What are the things i really need to improve upon
What are the things you guys really like about my art.
any and all input is greatly appreciated and really does help me get better....cause you know...I wanna be the very best....like no one ever was...
P-e-A-c-E
(You finished the song in your head didnt you XD )
I Require Yous Guys input
Posted 13 years agoI had a crazy thought of a new species today
and than thought i really haven't fleshed out me own so what if i just change a name?
How do you guys feel about the name Jacatalope?
I mean the more i draw grey and Caezynx in general the more rabbit like they are becoming...and cat like. Unless you guys see something different.
So basically first i am asking what does Grey look like to you guys
Second what do you think of the name Jacatalope
Third if i should draw it what do ya think of em? (probably going to draw Grey as one....unless he is already one...hmm)
Sorry rather scatter brained right now XD
Only thing i have had for nourishment today is cigarettes XD
and my roommate informs me that those are not nourishment
and than thought i really haven't fleshed out me own so what if i just change a name?
How do you guys feel about the name Jacatalope?
I mean the more i draw grey and Caezynx in general the more rabbit like they are becoming...and cat like. Unless you guys see something different.
So basically first i am asking what does Grey look like to you guys
Second what do you think of the name Jacatalope
Third if i should draw it what do ya think of em? (probably going to draw Grey as one....unless he is already one...hmm)
Sorry rather scatter brained right now XD
Only thing i have had for nourishment today is cigarettes XD
and my roommate informs me that those are not nourishment
Nearly 200...
Posted 13 years agoDamn...just damn XD
Almost 200 watchers
Huzzah
Thank you guys all for liking me stuff
I Loves yous guys
How well do you know me...cause eveyrone is doing it
Posted 13 years agoSooo ya everyone was doing it an i wanted to do something while i think of what to draw XD
ANSWER THESE AND I'LL TALLY THEM UP FOR YOU....maybe
1. (2 Pts) My name:
2. (2 Pts) My last name:
3. (5 Pts) Take a stab at my middle name:
4. (3 Pts) Who am I in love with:
5. (2 Pts) Hair color:
6. (2 Pts) What kind of car do I drive:
7. (2 Pts) Where do I work/study:
8. (3 Pts) Something that I am afraid of:
9. (2 Pts) Do I smoke:
10. (3 Pts) Do I drink:
11. (2 Pts) Do I have any siblings:
12. (2 Pts) How many:
13. (1 Pts) Do I like ‘em:
14. (4 Pts) What’s one of my favorite things to do:
15. (2 Pts) How many piercings do I have:
16. (3 Pts) Name a song that I love:
17. (4 Pts) Am I shy or outgoing:
18. (3 Pts) Am I a rebel or do I follow the rules:
19. (2 Pts) What’s my favorite color:
20. (3 Pts) Name something I hate:
21. (4 Pts) Name a talent I have:
22. (4 Pts) Do I have any pets:
23. (5 Pts) What is the color of my room:
24. (5 Pts) Give me a movie or TV or book that I love:
25. (5 Pts + on creativeness) If I were stranded on a desert island, what would I bring:
70-75 Points; You know too much! D:< or you just cheated.
60-69 Points; Who told you? Have we met?
50-59 Points; You sure you're not cheating
20-49 Points; Nice guesses
00-19 Points; Well ain't that cuuuuuuuuuute? BUT IT'S WROOOOOOONG!!!!
ANSWER THESE AND I'LL TALLY THEM UP FOR YOU....maybe
1. (2 Pts) My name:
2. (2 Pts) My last name:
3. (5 Pts) Take a stab at my middle name:
4. (3 Pts) Who am I in love with:
5. (2 Pts) Hair color:
6. (2 Pts) What kind of car do I drive:
7. (2 Pts) Where do I work/study:
8. (3 Pts) Something that I am afraid of:
9. (2 Pts) Do I smoke:
10. (3 Pts) Do I drink:
11. (2 Pts) Do I have any siblings:
12. (2 Pts) How many:
13. (1 Pts) Do I like ‘em:
14. (4 Pts) What’s one of my favorite things to do:
15. (2 Pts) How many piercings do I have:
16. (3 Pts) Name a song that I love:
17. (4 Pts) Am I shy or outgoing:
18. (3 Pts) Am I a rebel or do I follow the rules:
19. (2 Pts) What’s my favorite color:
20. (3 Pts) Name something I hate:
21. (4 Pts) Name a talent I have:
22. (4 Pts) Do I have any pets:
23. (5 Pts) What is the color of my room:
24. (5 Pts) Give me a movie or TV or book that I love:
25. (5 Pts + on creativeness) If I were stranded on a desert island, what would I bring:
70-75 Points; You know too much! D:< or you just cheated.
60-69 Points; Who told you? Have we met?
50-59 Points; You sure you're not cheating
20-49 Points; Nice guesses
00-19 Points; Well ain't that cuuuuuuuuuute? BUT IT'S WROOOOOOONG!!!!
Feeling Better....yaaaaaaay
Posted 13 years agoYay getting back to me old self. Or would it be a new self...ya hopefully new self so that i made some progress XD
But yes amazing what a fun song and good beverage (no it wasn't alcohol it was a smoothie) can do for you.
That and the past few days have been ok
Got the chance to take a step back and think of how I WAS being stupid and how I WILL try to not do that as much anymore.
more so just going to not take things....too seriously and stress myself out again.
Got to doing some traditional art and had a few more ideas for other projects so we shall see how those go.
Finally calming my mind down and setting out a plan to get stuff done and becoming at peace with my procrastination.
Oh ya and trying to come up with more ways to be goofy and an idiot but in the much more fun way. Not so much doing something necessarily stupid but havnt done much goofy stuff lately....so i gotta try an fix that....cause taking things seriously doesnt work for me...
i break when i do that XP
Anyway there is more art to be on that way
One thing that i kinda never posted but a few people seem to like so i shall throw it on here
Feel i should kinda explain the smiley face i sign all me work with cause it actually does have some meaning to it so will probably do something for that
Also thinking of doing themed work
Like a theme of the week type thing
Might be fun
May see if i can get any other artsy friends to participate
So yeah things going better and im not as stressed at the moment XD
Got a bit of the creative juices flowing so we shall see if anyone cares for em
And ya
Should have time to stream sometime this week...that is if Borderlands doesnt own me again...that game is a lot of fun XD
OH yes commissions
Current ones and open spots
1.
gldnclaw
2?
3>
4_
5~
If you are one of the people i owe art too
Tell me
I remember most of ya
But please tell me if ya got an idea...or theme....cause the ideas i have now are....well you shall see X3
So yes this brings me to the end of another journal thingy
Perhaps the next one will be a poem
P-e-A-c-E
Hate rant
Posted 13 years agoBefore i begin i write this here only so that i can sleep tonight. If i try to lay back down now i think i will be simply too frustrated to sleep. I'm not really writing this for any one to read just saying it so i can get it off my mind. Please, you don't have to read it, its just me bitching about well..me
It is poorly written and not that well thought out. Just me getting stupid thoughts out of my head
I am a complete idiot. I've said that a couple times now at least i believe so. I am slowly becoming more and more the person i don't want to be. Not to say really a bad person but more so just wasting what i have. I am at the point where i wake up look in the mirror and just hate the person starring at me. Not in a self destructive way or anything, just...disgust. I have been told countless times i have talent, but I'm coming to realize that i don't believe it. I don't feel that im the type of person that makes it in art. I don't feel im the type of person who dates. I don't feel im the type of person a lot of people want to be around. I had athletic talent. I wasted it because i didn't feel i was the type of person who made it in athletics.
As stupid as it is to say i realize now that all the times i have tried to convince myself of the things im good at or that i don't care about others opinions is a lie. I'm still the same kid who had no self esteem in HS.
I am lazy. Far more than i wish to admit. I have things i know i should do to better myself, know that i should do if i really wish to be an artist (which i question now) but simply don't do them. I skip out on things I am sure would help me move forward and dont feel any sort of remorse for it till moments like now. (though a better word would probably be regret) That too is stupid because its my own damn fault.
I hate the image of myself. This is something i only realized recently after a few comments. Mainly im a big guy 6'4 and now that i am done with basketball i kinda don't like it. I hate that a lot of the comments on my size go back to me looking "Scary" or like a "bully" (ya that was a more recent one) I hate that im expected to have confidence when im really shy. I hate that there are very few people that i have to lean on (IRL) That's not to say there aren't people who care but more a person who could carry some of the weight on my mind.
I hate that connecting with people is hard for me. I have friends sure but i only generally make a couple. Other times im too shy or get in the habit of thinking "I'm just a burden to this person. I'm not that interesting" and than I just sit in silence and it gets awkward. I hate that about myself. Just the entire way of thinking. For the longest time i thought i''d convinced myself that if a person didn't wish to be around me they'd tell me but i haven't.
And the real kinda problem with all this, now that i think about it as my hands kinda shake, is that i really know that there are things i can do to stop it. (or at least most of it)
The self image i can work out. Eat healthy and all that
The art i can dedicate more time to. Connect with the artists i know. Attempt to do something outside of my comfort zone
Even the laziness i know if i could maintain this kind of frustration i could fix.
but i wont
I know tomorrow i'll wake up, go back to sleep, wake up again, go to class than go back to doing the same stupid shit
it pisses me off and i dont have a right to be mad because im the one responsible for it.
TO SUM it all up: I hate that i don't believe that i should succeed at anything.
At this point i don't know what more else to write. I know there was more i wanted to vent out but i've calmed down enough to forget a lot of it. Again i am sorry i had to post this here. This is all really here so that i wont forget this frustration and go back to doing all the things i hate. This is really being posted as a reminder to stop being an idiot and fix some of these things.
Most likely i will regret posting this tomorrow.
It is poorly written and not that well thought out. Just me getting stupid thoughts out of my head
I am a complete idiot. I've said that a couple times now at least i believe so. I am slowly becoming more and more the person i don't want to be. Not to say really a bad person but more so just wasting what i have. I am at the point where i wake up look in the mirror and just hate the person starring at me. Not in a self destructive way or anything, just...disgust. I have been told countless times i have talent, but I'm coming to realize that i don't believe it. I don't feel that im the type of person that makes it in art. I don't feel im the type of person who dates. I don't feel im the type of person a lot of people want to be around. I had athletic talent. I wasted it because i didn't feel i was the type of person who made it in athletics.
As stupid as it is to say i realize now that all the times i have tried to convince myself of the things im good at or that i don't care about others opinions is a lie. I'm still the same kid who had no self esteem in HS.
I am lazy. Far more than i wish to admit. I have things i know i should do to better myself, know that i should do if i really wish to be an artist (which i question now) but simply don't do them. I skip out on things I am sure would help me move forward and dont feel any sort of remorse for it till moments like now. (though a better word would probably be regret) That too is stupid because its my own damn fault.
I hate the image of myself. This is something i only realized recently after a few comments. Mainly im a big guy 6'4 and now that i am done with basketball i kinda don't like it. I hate that a lot of the comments on my size go back to me looking "Scary" or like a "bully" (ya that was a more recent one) I hate that im expected to have confidence when im really shy. I hate that there are very few people that i have to lean on (IRL) That's not to say there aren't people who care but more a person who could carry some of the weight on my mind.
I hate that connecting with people is hard for me. I have friends sure but i only generally make a couple. Other times im too shy or get in the habit of thinking "I'm just a burden to this person. I'm not that interesting" and than I just sit in silence and it gets awkward. I hate that about myself. Just the entire way of thinking. For the longest time i thought i''d convinced myself that if a person didn't wish to be around me they'd tell me but i haven't.
And the real kinda problem with all this, now that i think about it as my hands kinda shake, is that i really know that there are things i can do to stop it. (or at least most of it)
The self image i can work out. Eat healthy and all that
The art i can dedicate more time to. Connect with the artists i know. Attempt to do something outside of my comfort zone
Even the laziness i know if i could maintain this kind of frustration i could fix.
but i wont
I know tomorrow i'll wake up, go back to sleep, wake up again, go to class than go back to doing the same stupid shit
it pisses me off and i dont have a right to be mad because im the one responsible for it.
TO SUM it all up: I hate that i don't believe that i should succeed at anything.
At this point i don't know what more else to write. I know there was more i wanted to vent out but i've calmed down enough to forget a lot of it. Again i am sorry i had to post this here. This is all really here so that i wont forget this frustration and go back to doing all the things i hate. This is really being posted as a reminder to stop being an idiot and fix some of these things.
Most likely i will regret posting this tomorrow.
A couple ideas and a few thoughts
Posted 13 years agoJust a tad more randomness from me.
Had a few thoughts for things going forward and wondering if you guys had any opinions on em
First, just because i dont think anyone does it...that i know of, doing a stream or something but starting it off with like a get to know you session i guess? I dont know i just kinda like knowing my audience and talking could be cool.
Another thing would be setting up an actual set amount of commissions i do a month (because i really need to start taking them again as i can not get a "real" job right now)
Third idea i had which i've been tossing around in me head is starting up a youtube channel. Don't exactly know what all would be on it, but i occasionally have a funny thought or two....and my roommate is a troll so chronicling those things could be interesting now and again.
I dont know just some random thoughts i'd had to...i guess just do more. No idea if any of this would work but meh XD
Oh and on another note
I...may make a journal or two tomorrow thats just completely out there. Please forgive me for it...so ya. May also do a stream if i am able to concentrate long enough
Well I suppose that be all for now.
P-e-A-c-E my friends
I shall be streaming thursday....all night oh and Guild Wars
Posted 13 years agoYes that is the plan
I have gone too long not doing art.
And only one class on Friday so screw it
Thursday i shall be streaming all night
barring that i end up drinking at some point in the stream and just pass out....
but ya other than that i shall be streaming all night
So that should be fun XD
Other things
Guild Wars 2 is a lot of fun.....anyone else have it?
P-e-A-c-E
Why im not here right now...
Posted 13 years agoOk currently still getting adjusted to the apartment. Had my bike stolen so still looking for that. And still trying to get used to my schedule (which may jump up to 19 credit hours) so this absence is not wanted XP
I have some ideas and sketches i have been working on
I havnt forgotten the free art i promised people. I have sketches of a few of them, others I'm still trying to get ideas for.
Thank you for being patient, it will get done.
Other things:
I may have some non fur art coming this way as well....would you guys like to see it?
Also going to do a shirt design soon as i now have access to the screenprinting department at me school.
If someone should happen to want one i will need to know in advance so i can get the materials together and plan to stay late
other than that i have a few other none drawing things i wanna try. So i'll post about those when they are closer to being done
and umm ya XD
TO those who still watch me tank ya very very much
To those who read this, thank ya very very very very much XD
P-e-A-c-E