Laid off. Fired. Pink slip.

Happened last week. The idea never ever crossed my mind until they actually told me what was happening. Don't always assume you have job security, I guess. For now, I've just been trying to get over the shock that's been hitting me slowly.

They told me specifically that it was the company's budget, not my performance, that led to this. Gave me a pretty nice amount of severance and even encouraged me to reapply as soon as any positions become available.

I am NOT opening commissions just yet, nor am I opening any Patreon or Kofi thing. You've seen how I've been slowing lately and I don't want to take your money while I'm down in recovery mode. My apologies. Thankfully I got the severance as well as savings to keep me afloat a good while. I was and am now truly lucky.

Lucky now because I have you all who enjoy my art. If you've been here from my humble beginning, if my latest post is the first you've seen of me, and everyone else from anywhere in between. Every comment, like, favorite, repost, comment, and even just view is like coal to the furnace of my heart. Probably unhealthy to be dependent on internet validation, but I also want to have sex with bombs, so maybe my self-preservation instincts have just always been fried.

At this point, I would like to ask something if you have the time. Completely optional. Please leave a comment on any of my pictures. Be it just which one is your favorite, an OLD ART you'd like to see redrawn, criticism of how I can improve, emojis, and even memes. I feel the temptation to get a bit drunk off virtual good boy points. If you just wish to send well wishes commenting on this journal, that will still be greatly appreciated.

Thanks everyone who read this far! You're all amazing!

So I've been daily uploading for a while now.

In your opinion, how am I doing?

Your content has been removed because it violates our rules which state:

2.13 Artificial Intelligence (AI)
Content made using AI, machine learning, or similar generators is not allowed, including derivative works created from it (e.g. stories, audio, backgrounds, paint-overs, using one's own content to generate new content).


Which, you know, that's accurate and fair. What sucks is that it was my most viewed submission, so my apologies to those people who came back to it. Flutterfull was definitely a product of its means, finding ways to reach "good enough" from the bottom up instead of seeing the perfection initially, which is AI in a nutshell.

I would love to do art for another ASMR thing. Now that I'm older and wiser, I definitely want a genuine VA for it. Unfortunately, I'm not entirely sure how to go about it as I'm not that good at writing scripts or coordinating voicework. I makes bombs LOOK sexy, but how do I make them SOUND sexy?

Happy Pride Month!

I'm still in a funk, so please be as unapologetically you as you can be.

Yeah, I've just been... bleh. Mental illness, probably. Seems every day has taken more effort to just survive through the basics. I've also been throwing myself at more and more potential things for need of a distraction: foraging, gold reclaiming, carbonating water without a soda thingy, I got a pool pass. I know I'm far from the only person having this problem as well.

So to just focus myself, I don't know what to do. I have a lot of WANT to do, but those seem to roll further each day. I might just start uploading quick doodles or linearts to start the dopamine train rolling, but other advice is welcome. Especially if that advice comes in the form of positivity and constructive criticism.


Hope you all are staying safe and happy!

More art. More gym. Both of these will be attempted to be fueled with more protein to offset my constant want to nap.

This year was slow for uploads. Would y'all mind if I posted non-fully completed things, like sketches or lineart?

All in all, thank you all for being with me; old watchers and new. Here's to 2025!

I got a Bluesky! It's not got everything, but it'll have the new stuff.

https://bsky.app/profile/gunpowderg.....ea.bsky.social

I've forgotten the login to my Twitter, so this is gonna replace that.

I draw busty nudes of characters that are not mine. Only rarely has permission been given outside OCs by other busty nude enthusiasts. When we do it of characters from a big time company or a wildly successful product, the consensus seems favorable. Does the amount of money, manpower, and/or fame of a character's creator eventually push it into "acceptable to busty nude" territory?

While I find myself with many gray areas, there are a few hardlines I follow: No real people, no non-suggestive OCs made for fun, no characters associated with real world extremism. I will reconsider real people or fun OCs if permission of said person is expressly given.

If you ask me why I follow these rules in some cases, but not with Princess Rosalina for example, I don't have an exact answer except "Nintendo too big to have valid opinion".

So where do you guys draw the line?

If you read the title, you can probably guess this is about the upcoming US election. People smarter than me have made the arguments, laid out the stakes, explained the importance, and more. I can only talk these things as the kind of person I am. A tired procrastinator.

I've made a plan for voting, but it involved taking time to unplug and breathe. Sleep. Being able to think about other things. The election is days away, but that's the word: Days. If you're feeling like me, you've still got time to do what you need and recharge. You are not a worse person for not wanting to be in the storm 24/7. You can't give 100% if you are not at 100%.

Then if you haven't already, with a couple hours and a good spot for voting, we'd appreciate you doing us a solid.

If you have voted already, big thanks.

If you're not in the US, also thanks. Just because.

I've been thinking about my OCs and potential changes. Some cosmetic, some personality, some backstory, and even a complete rewrite in one case. So if I'm already thinking about that, maybe it'd be fun to ask and hear some opinions about my characters.

You can change ONE thing per character. Personality, look, life, color, etc. OCs for consideration:

Modest Prospect
Betty Bah
Powder Ruse
Peony Burst
Salute Charge


Stuff you CAN'T say:
-Specific fetishizing (Example: make X really into *insert fetish*, or make Y dependent on *thing that ties into insert fetish*)
-Bigger boobs. That's ALREADY GOING to happen.
-Make X a bombgirl. I got ideas.

Hey everybody! Been a bit since I did a journal. Last year I answered some questions and that was fun.

So if you have any questions about me, my OCs, or anything like that, I'm willing to answer. And if you just make something up now to post as a small b-day gift, I really appreciate it!


F.A.Q. Answers:
-I don't do requests.
-I'm not able to take commissions and am not sure when I will be.
-Clip Studio Paint.
-Not yet.
-Tried it, didn't like it.
-About a can of Sprite.

So I'll be honest, this year's been hard. Emotionally, mentally, fiscally. There is light at the end of the tunnel, though.

One thing that has been carrying me through is you all. Anyone who faved, commented, shared, or even just took the time to look at my art: thank you so much. I hope you all are doing well as we wrap up this year and I will be trying to keep art stuff coming when I can.

Hey everyone. Hope you're all doing well.

Unfortunately, I got hit with the COVID and symptoms have kept me from doing major art for an extended period. If you wouldn't mind, I'd like to ask a favor of you and say if you've recently come across something on this site or somewhere else with any sort of detail that made you think of me, could you share it here?

On top of sickness, things have been difficult lately, so I would super appreciate some positivity and stuff to help relight the passion to push me out of this last wave of sickness bleh.

Hello! And sorry for not being in for a bit. It's been a very draining couple of months.

My birthday happened yesterday. Hooray! I bought myself a sweet treat and will be seeing family soon for celebration.

As for things happening in life, boy howdy. I hate to say it, but my employment is currently in question. And not just if I'll have a job in a matter of time. Will that job become absolute torture? Will I need to jump ship? If I do, what will I do for moneys?

So that's what's been on my mind. Add to that the fact I haven't spoken with quite a few friends for an extended period and I'm just generally feeling low right now. Hopefully everything gets resolved soon.

I'd also like to thank you all for sticking with me. All the favorite, watches, and comments are truly appreciated. Flipping through my own gallery and seeing your responses/engagement makes me smile. And thank you so much for reading this, too!

Since I'm here and could use some mental stimulation, does any y'all have any questions about me, my art, OCs, or anything? Private life stuff I'll be intentionally vague about, but I'll try to answer as best I can.

Have you ever drawn or commissioned something just to find out if there's a specific term for it? A tag on image boorus you can search for to find more? Just the name so you can use it in conversation instead of trying to describe it as, "Yeah, uh, then they do the thing, but like, it's almost backwards? But if you turned it around again?"

I've done that a number of times, and now I'm just going to do the smart thing and ask if you guys know anything about it. As many of them as I can remember anyhow.

First: Arms crossed over and squishing down huge bust. Done this a couple times and I enjoy how it showcases angry mixed with squish purely in body language. https://www.furaffinity.net/view/30165707/

Second: Nervous anticipation moments before sexual activity. Shrunken pupils, tiny smile, sweating and blushing, and just a mix of fear and excitement in "Oh my gosh, this is really about to happen..." As I've explained with my niche fetish, anticipation is a huge turn-on for me. https://www.furaffinity.net/view/36159240/

Three: An inexperienced cougar. An older woman who goes out and tries to meet people younger than herself to spend the night with, but her pick-up game is so incredibly awkward. This is the whole basis of the character Modest Prospect. https://www.furaffinity.net/view/45882857/

If any of you know if there are terms for these, I would greatly appreciate it. Also, feel free to share examples of your own for specific things in pictures you want to know if there's a tag for. Maybe you can help each other out as well!

So... yeah. A decade of digital debauchery (if I'm using that word right). The comic I posted was meant to be the celebratory piece as a return to my old roots from before the boobs. However, I feel more stressed about trying to celebrate it rather than the fact it's happening. Just felt like another day.

I will say, thank you all for watching, favoriting, and just looking at my work. I love seeing the notifications on each upload I do. I look through the favorites and comments of past works to give me a smile. I know some of my pictures are more popular than others, but each one feels great. Y'all are my dopamine.

With that, here's to more years of art!

Happy 2023 everyone!


As a New Year's Resolution, I'm trying to be better with money. The reason for this is that I've started a new job in 2022. It's work I'm more proud to do with people I'm more happy to be around, but it does pay quite a bit less.


I'm not in financial trouble right now. I just see that I definitely COULD be if I don't make some personal changes, and asking for money at that point would just be a bandage on a bigger issue. This has made me face whatever the monetary version of mortality is, and realize just how insanely lucky I've been to be able to do what I do. An insane luck that also includes all of you out there who enjoy my artwork, and I can't thank you all enough.


That said, if you happen to know of ways to get more bang for your buck, I would super appreciate you sharing. Please do not assume anything is obvious because I've already had a number of "Why did nobody tell me this?" incidents while looking into the topic.


Thank you all and hope you have a wonderful 2023!

Wheee, another year older! And although I'm probably older than most other artists I see in the community, I feel like I have a lot of growing up yet to do. I thank you all for sticking with me through my bumbling and mistakes.

So here's the biggest thing on my mind. My family know I do erotic art and have been encouraging me to try and do more with it. Stuff that would lead to making some money on the side with it in certain ways. However, I've been hitting a mental road block when it comes to that.

My art has been about being my creative muse and making the content I wanted to see that no one else was doing. Y'know, explosives. In about six months, I will have been at this for an entire decade; ten whole years. I see this huge milestone on the horizon, hear all the ideas about what I could possibly be doing more, and I ask...

Am I good enough? Am I popular enough?

Do I have enough of a following to warrant doing more than just my own thing? Should I be trying to get more followers? How would I even do that?

I've felt I was at the right amount of notoriety for just being how I relax here and there. Got my regulars who comment (thank you, by the way!), my inspirations I bump elbows with, and just a good feeling all around. Although, I must admit I feel a pang of jealousy when I see newer artists who surpass my internet numbers. With the big ten year mark coming, the what-ifs come to haunt me a bit about what I could have done better.

But maybe it'll be like those big milestone birthdays where they just pass and you realize it's nothing all along. Shrug.

Thank you all for watching and here's to another year!

1st of August.

Little afraid to say it and look like I'm selfishly expecting something, but I always enjoy advanced warning for other people's b-days to plan ahead, so... yeah.

Been thinking about doing stuff for charity, but was afraid of seeming hypocritical because of my art. However, recent news made me realize there are more important things than internet strangers' opinion of me.

So if I were to give money to places for Women's Healthcare Rights, who are some groups or places that would make the best use of it? I'm not knowledgeable of this, so I want to make sure I do it right.

I know I say pride month is every month, but let's shout it louder for the people in the back: LGBTQIA+ rights are human rights. This includes the right to be themselves, express themselves, and be happy.

Another one, eh? Congratulations to everyone for making it!

The past year was certainly something. While I typically try to be a person of positivity, I hope you don't mind me venting a bit to say the flavor of 2021 for me was Frustration. The recurring theme was people who put more value into being "right" rather than getting results that would benefit them. I'm sure you can all think of a couple people like that.

Worst part, I feel like I've been acting like one of those people. I've fallen into a trap the latter half of this year waiting for something good to come along and spark my motivation and give me a newfound drive. Of course good things did happen. I got to talk with friends, my art has improved, I've consumed awesome content from all types of creators, and one time I even got a free small meal along with my regular meal because they messed up my online order. But all these blessings couldn't seem to lift me out of my rut and I just get mad at myself for being selfish and picky. Typing it out and reading it over, it seems kind of silly, but these are the emotions that be a-churnin'.

Big thank you to everyone who has watched, favorited, commented, or even just enjoy my artwork. A New Year's piece is coming soon and I hope each and every one of you have a good Twenty Twoty-Two!

"Every now and again, I get mine."

This is a phrase that I've found popping into my head for a while. It's what I tell myself when things are good, things are bad, things are crazy, or things are stagnant. I'm not even sure if I just thought of it myself or if I heard it from something and forgot where.

I've also found it can apply to a lot of things. When something good happens, I enjoy it. When I face consequences for my actions, I accept it because I've gotten away with other things. When I'm feeling down, it reminds me the next fun surprise is coming. And when I'm in a burnout, it says that not every day needs to be productive to be successful.

Maybe I sound like a mantra-spewing self-help nutjob, but it really has been sneaking in and applying itself to most situations I've found myself in this past year. Is it helping? Does it excuse and reinforce bad habits? I don't know.

Any thoughts or anyone else have something like this?

That's right, it my birfmas! I don't normally announce it, but this year is different for reasons I'll explain along with other things I'd like to get off my chest.

If you've been following me a long time, you might be thinking this seems off. I'm sorry to all of you, but way back when I claimed a false date as my birthday as I was starting out on other accounts. I took it down and left no word about it for a number of years until now. I did this because of paranoia of being found out and denial that my art was the real me. This does not excuse my actions, but I do hope others can learn from my mistake that putting up false pretenses will make it more difficult to connect personally to your friends and colleagues through your passion. Again, my deepest apologies for lying. I'm sorry.

Commissions and why I'm afraid to do them. I've been wanting to, but there's a fear that creeps up each time I consider it. I'm sure you all have read stories somewhere about artists who take too long on paid works. Fact is, I have been that artist. Thankfully the people I pulled these shenanigans with have been amazingly patient and even became good friends. I don't know what it is, but I have trouble drawing someone else's idea. I've tried to circumvent this, but I'm still afraid I'll burn out for no good reason and be another callout post.

The origin of the explosive fetish. And it IS a fetish, not just a kink. My mind projects explosive scenarios onto other pictures. Plus, this fascination began when I was a child, so this is full on F-E-T-I-S-H. But why? I didn't know either, but after talking about it in therapy, the answer might be childhood trauma. Since I was a baby, there were people in my life who were very angry. Shouting, insults, tantrums, sometimes even violence over anything and everything. As a toddler, I didn't know how to express what was happening to me when I'd get caught in situations of being around these people during their meltdowns. One day watching cartoons, I saw the bomb gag. Fear of a loud, overloading instance leaving a character dazed. It was something my little brain could understand and apply to myself. So that visual metaphor became a comfort. Growing up, it turned into a fascination, then hitting puberty cemented it as a fetish. If any of you out there have the same love for kabooms but don't know why, perhaps this could help explain it.

That's all the stuff I can think of at the moment that's been weighing on me. Thank you for reading this and I'd be happy to answer any questions about the above or just in general. Apologies for being a downer of a birthday journal, but this is a step in getting some confidence in myself.

Hope you all have a great day!

This year for April Fool's, I'm doing things I haven't done before or in a great while. While I continue on what that means art-wise, let's have a discussion about the two kinds of sexy explosive potentials you'd find with a fetish like mine. To make things clear, there is no wrong answer to this discussion. This is a matter of preferences and I'm biased in this regard. I'd like to explain what I like and you can tell me what you like. Perhaps we can both find new appreciation for both.

Also, this is assuming my personal taste of cartoon physics with subjects living unharmed and not the logical result of the real world. Do not try anything suggested in this journal or my gallery at home.

First things first, what's the appeal of either? One, I'm a hopeless romantic with over-the-top expectations. A blastwave of heat and force enveloping the body during orgasm is what I'd call "over-the-top". Second is that I find power sexy. Power can come in many forms, but one that's measured in a unit called "megatons" is undeniable.

In the matter of Bombgirls and Girls with Bombs, I admit that I like the latter a lot more. I heard once in an argument about real VS fake boobs that the girl with the fake breasts obviously wants them more. I think that's part of it. I tend to like it when the person in the picture likes it, so anyone being willingly around them and ready for the blast interests me more than a being who just happened to be born into the potential scenario.

Second is adjustability. Bombgirls only have one kind of explosion. Being able to add or subtract to the equation makes it more flexible. Do you want a one dynamite stick "quickie", an all night long pile of ordinance, or something in between? Plus it can help set the tone and setting. Someone wanting private time in a bunker shows bashfulness for their loud fascination, while fireworks on stage show more of an exhibitionism nature.

Now for what I think is the main strength of Bombgirls: the personal aspect of carrying the power every moment of every day. It makes aspects of their lives more interesting seeing how they live, what kind of job they would work, is their explosive nature a blessing or curse, do they like exploding, and more. Then you get into the sexy territory and how they interact with one or more romantic partners. You can throw all sorts of curveballs like what their trigger is, how well can they control it, etc.

I could go on, but I'd like to keep it brief enough that I don't chicken out of posting this. Please tell me what you think about either of these, what you like, why, and maybe there's a third side to this I never considered. Hope you all have a good one!

I really flip-flopped about how to make this journal, but eventually decided it'd be a bigger injustice to say nothing.

If you live in the US and have voted early, mailed in your ballot, or made plans to vote before or on November 3rd, then I'd like to give you all a huge thank you. If you haven't, you've probably heard a lot of reasons why you should. While I understand feeling overwhelmed at this point, if it's worth anything, you'd be doing me a considerable solid. I personally cast my ballot for Joe Biden because I don't think the current administration is working to be part of the solution for the many problems we're facing.

This year has been rough, to put it charitably. Absolutely horrific to be closer to accurate. But it's made me realize a few things. First and foremost being just how damn lucky I am. Just like the last journal about Black Lives Matter, I have no idea what to say for the people living the tragedy of losing everything to something that has no justifiable reason being so widespread. I've got some donations to make.

To all of you reading this, thank you for your time. Stay safe.