Heya. It's the out-of-season Gylphie journal!

Just making this as a reminder that I do post more often at my other galleries and socials, located below all of this.

I wanted to just post this again given the downtime.

I hope things have been well yall lately 💜

Telegram art gallery: https://t.me/joinchat/AAAAAFXezd4IB3Ft18s5dw

NSFW Bsky: https://bsky.app/profile/lewdgrapes.bsky.social

SFW Bsky: https://bsky.app/profile/gylphie.bsky.social

Preface

It is that time of the year again where I do the yearly wrap up.
You might be asking, what about the 2023 wrap up? Well, I did write one, actually. Several, in fact. But, no matter how I changed the format or tried to be positive with it, I couldn’t. 2023 was a really bad year. I consider it the worst of my life. I struggled to find any positives in it. I am sure they were there, but when you are buried in shit so deep you forget what the sun looks like, you can’t help but only see the negatives. So to the do 2023 wrap up in a sentence: 2023 fucking sucked and was traumatic all things considered.
So in any case, onto the 2024 wrap up. Considering that I am actually posting this one, I’ll spoil it and say that 2024 does have some positives and will end on a good note. But to wrap up 2024, I’ve got to go back to 2022 first.
In November 2022, I was laid off very suddenly from a job I loved. My time in that job was one of the golden eras of your life that you back fondly of. It was one of the few periods of my life that I can look back and say that I was finally happy and content with myself and the world. That fragile happiness was shattered by my layoff, but I didn’t really know how bad. I had assumed that I’d be back on my feet in no time. Many of yall know how that went, but those who don’t, it took me 22 months to find a new full-time position that paid well and isn’t going to treat me like trash (fuck you Meta). Those 22 months were not easy. As the funds I saved from every paycheck began to dry up and job applications seemingly sent into the void, it became abundantly clear to me that I was going to lose nearly everything and I did. I was fortunately that I could rely on my parents, as much as I loathed the loss of independence and how I’d have to be around them all the time again. I do love them, but they’re frustrating people at times. What I am getting at is that all the things that had made me happy had evaporated and I was constantly faced with letdown after rejection after letdown after rejection. So many times I’d see the finish line. I’d be so close that it was within my reach, but not within my grasp. And then it would slip away. Sometimes it was that someone was just better than me. More often than not though, I would fail because of the incompetence of someone else. A maintenance worker that was explicitly told to not enter my apartment for repairs between a certain time on a specific date. An HR staffer who rescheduled one of my final panel interviews but neglected to tell me. A landscaper who happened to sever the internet cable in the ground during one of my interviews. It just kept fucking happening man. Time and again, I’d be so close just to have some unavoidable bullshit happen. It felt like I was cursed by black swans. From losing my dream job from COVID to getting hit by a car to repeatedly failing to show any worth for all my efforts through my life to build something, it felt like I’d fallen into a nightmare and it is hard to wake up from a nightmare when you’re not even asleep.
But, I’m relieved now that I have woken up from that nightmare. Earlier this month (I’m starting this first draft in November lol), I landed a job in my niche field at a reputable and well-known tech company. It’s only been a week so far, but fuck dude, it almost feels like old times again back when my last company was still fun to work at (that’s a whole other messy story).
So, I guess this is all to preface that 2024 ends on the damn good note. I’m out of the mire finally. The nightmare is finally fuckin’ over. I don’t feel the weight of extreme depression or the struggle to just get out of bed. Instead, I feel the tears of relief on my face. I feel the disbelief that I made it through that chapter. I also feel the exhaustion from two years of insanely high stress and have been resting A LOT outside of work hahaha!
And so, I’m happy to write and post a wrap-up this year. Let’s get to it.

The Retrospective

I’m sure this is going to change a lot over the next month as I go through drafts. A fun fact about previous wrap-ups is that each had multiple drafts that were vastly different. This one is sure to follow. I write them like this because these are supposed to sound like me. I want someone who knows me to read this and hear my voice saying it. Sometimes, that takes a few tries to get right. The thoughts are there, but the words aren’t. Going through these drafts helps turns those jumbled thoughts into something that sounds like me: a mixture of stupid, insightful, and seasoned with a bit of pretentiousness. Without further rambling, let’s hit the highlights or lowlights of the months.

Editor Gylphie here: this dumbfuck forgot to backup the document when he transferred it to the computer he was on for the entire month of December while he was working on this, so now he has to go through and update it all over again without knowing what exactly he wrote because WOW he was shitfaced every night after work lmao

December
OOOOOOOOO I can divine the future OOOOOOOO I’m going to get some super self indulgent smut of Gideon and Tiddyon and then some cool ass SFW art of Luum OOoOOOOOOooo
I’ll probably also get to spend some awesome R&R at my parent’s new house.

Update: It is now February. I did get some very self indulgent smut of Gideon and Tiddyon. Sorry Luum ☹

November
So it is *checks date* currently 3:07AM on November 11th. I went to San Francisco and got started at my new job. I’m now back in Omaha, where I work remotely from. I’m happy with my new job. I’m chilling right now drinking some Bacardi 10 Year mixed into Diet Coke and writing this. Life feels pretty good right now.

October
In October, I moved to Omaha, Nebraska to start my new job. The drive was ass and took two days. Driving through northwest Missouri had finally made me understand how well-rested people can just doze off while driving.

September
It was over. I got the kind of job offer I’d been searching to get for over 22 months. I cried. A lot. I remember seeing the offer letter and just breaking down at my desk. I don’t know how to describe the catharsis of nearly two years of stress, frustration, and despondency leaving me all at once. I got extremely wasted that night and slept the best I ever had.
Muscular Demon Tiddyon also happened and now I am considering making that her default appearance. God I love strong women.

I also played The Beginner’s Guide for the first time. More about that later.

August
I fucking burned up in my no A/C room in the middle of Tennessee summer.

This is how I survived: https://x.com/Gylphie/status/1826341500621307928
This is how  nawka depicted me surviving: https://x.com/NawkaArts/status/1826404332126044432
I also worked for Meta for one week before saying fuuuuuck that. What a disaster of a company.

July
For about 2 months, I got back to swimming half a mile daily after a joint pain cream somehow dulled the pain enough in my wrist and elbow. The daily laps strengthened my entire arm to where things felt and still feel normal again in them.

June
I moved my parents into their new and very nice house. I never thought I would say that I want to live with my parents again.

Salvation’s Edge Day 1 also happened. Shoutout to Team Goated With The Sauce (Sexual Style). SO fucking proud of us for beating Verity and getting Witness down pat. It’s a shame we didn’t clear Witness, but fuck me if I wasn’t still proud of us. Love yall <3

May
Dragon-Flayer Luum was made and I am so down bad for illithids.

Also I had a dream when I threw pinto beans at Deshaun Watson to prove he is a terrible person and the beans exploded on contact with him, which obviously proved me to be right. Fuck the Browns man.

I also apparently had a dream where I had to fight someone so I pulled a 3 foot long baguette out of my mouth and it made an unsheathing sound like a sword.

April
I got rejected by a company I was kind of excited for. And then a week later they came crawling back to my doorstep. IT WAS MY TURN TO GHOST HR. They emailed, called, and texted me more desperate each time. Pretty much the person they decided to hire got cold feet after a week, which is a HUGE red flag. I also wasn’t going to give them the time of day for how they rejected me. They also lied about the final interview being a final interview and they were late for every interview along the way. Fuuuuuuck those people.

I also, according to my D&D group’s notetaker, “delivered a fuckin banger of a promo” during one of our sessions where I prevented an important NPC from fully undergoing ceremorphosis, which gave us a half ancient dragon/half-illithid ally for a little bit.

I also improved my golf skills enough to finally beat my dad by nailing 5 shots in a row. That felt great.
I picked up a new car too. I bought a 2024 VW Tiguan and have been loving it.

March
I was extremely paw brained in March. That is all.

February
Forget not.

January
I went to the Atlanta Aquarium for the first time in over a decade. It was wonderful. I was also wasted which was even cooler. Highly recommend going to it if you are going to FWA!

The Grapeside Chat 2024
I completely forgot about this section until literally right now while I am about to post this.

This is just the part where I say that I am sorry that I missed your message I am processing a nonstop 24/7 onslaught of information with a brain designed to eat berries in a cave. But to be serious about it, I do apologize if I've missed messages or left people on read. While the insane stress might be gone, I'm still kind of in a massive recovery mode from all of that and am still knee-capped on social energy. Some weekends I just stare at my ceiling in a pitch-black cold dark room for hours because I get that tired (I swear I am ok). But yeah, it is definitely me and not you. If I missed a message or didn't respond to something, please do not feel like it is you. I'll try and get back to you when I'm like mentally/emotionally/fuck me IDK able to. Shits weird, but shits alright.

The Gylphie Awards
Welcome to the first annual Gylphie Awards, a set of incredibly subjective awards that are designed solely around things I want to talk about, spotlight, and soapbox about. It will also include people I want to specifically mention outside of the standard Roll Credits section.

Album of the Year
Angel Youth by Vansire
For those know my tastes, this one might be a bit out of pocket. I’m a pretty big prog metal/rock and space/stoner rock kind of guy, so an alt/indie pop album ranking out #1 might come as a surprise. I think in worse or better years, my typical tastes might come ahead, but in a year with such a flurry of emotions, failures, and ultimately, success—I think an album like Angel Youth is perfect.

I love this album because the emotions in it. You feel nostalgia, you feel love, you feel loss, you feel self-hate and despondency. All of it is there. And all of that was there in no small amount in 2024. Highlights on the album for me include Moon Hits and the eponymous Angel Youth. These two songs have a poignant and wistful feel to them that hits me at the core. If I were describe much of the two years with a single word, it would be “wistful”.

Band of the Year
VOLA

I’ve known about VOLA for a few years now. Back during grad school, I came across Stray the Skies and it was on hard repeat for me. Besides that though, I never listened to any more of VOLA besides Ruby Pool until earlier this year. Massive mistake because I missed out. I will not be surprised if my 2024 Spotify Rewind has them as my #1.

Highlights of VOLA for me this year as: Gutter Moon and 24 Light-Years.

Gutter Moon’s keyboard solo makes me hard and the bass, bridge, and final verse in 24 Light-Years fucks me up beyond belief. Fantastic songs.

Song of the Year
dullscythe by Porter Robinson

It is kind of funny how I am mainly a prog/death metal guy, but Porter Robinson is arguably my favorite musician ever (even though I still haven’t listened to the new album yet lol). Nurture was a super meaningful album to me for a lot of reasons. If I were to talk about that, we’d be here all night, so I’ll just talk about dullscythe making a comeback this year for me and why it has taken on this whole new meaning for me.

dullscythe, to me, is about struggle, perseverance, and finally fucking getting it all to come together. When I hear the disjointed beginning, it seems to me like it is when you try over and over again at the same thing, but fail almost right at the outset. Sometimes though, you get a little further. Other times you try something completely new and it gets you nowhere, so you go back to what you know got you a little further. Other times, you get real far and are almost there to making something complete, but it just doesn’t work. But then, that one difference comes across and all the racket and bullshit just comes together and makes sense. That’s kind of what I get from how disjointed the song sounds before it stops the rapid attacks and turns into something resembling more of a song than just sounds. That’s kind of summed up the last two years for me, so hearing this song again after I’ve reached the ending and brought it all together into something beautiful and real and complete hit me hard. I’ve always loved this album and damn near every song on it (Wind Tempos fucks me up hard), but dullscythe is the one this year that really spoke to me. I hope I can be fucking insane next year and fly to Ireland to catch the final show of the Smile tour in March. That would be awesome.

Game of the Year
Windblown and The Beginner’s Guide

This one is split between the most fun game I played this year (Windblown) and the game that hurt me to my core the most (The Beginner’s Guide.

Windblown
This game is in its first early access build and is fucking awesome already. The combat and gameplay are smooth. It is easy to learn, hard to master. While not everything feels viable yet, more things feel viable rather than not and become a preference depending on your playstyle. I think that when this game hits 1.0, it will be a strong GOTY contender at The Game Awards.

The Beginner’s Guide
Yeah, yeah, I know I’m a few years late. I’d bought this game and had it on the shelf for a long time. I have a certain list of games that I buy when I hear enough people say incredible things about a game, but won’t tell you a damn thing about it because it is THAT good. These are the kind of games that I keep set aside for when it is the right time. I don’t know when that time will be, but I know when it arrives. Typically, it is during times of doubt, strife, and sorrow that I play these games. I busted out The Beginner’s Guide during a difficult time this summer and bawled my fucking eyes out. Similar to Outer Wilds, it is a game so special that I, like others, will say nothing about it other than to go play it.

Meme Format of the Year
The fucking subtle foreshadowing meme.

https://x.com/Acro1954/status/1844577591887646963

This fuckin video nearly made me pass out.

Songs Worth Mentioning That I Didn’t Want To Create Individual Awards For
I will make you look at my eclectic ass music tastes.

Kit by KAUAN – Good, weirdly emotional song and album.
Halo Canticles by Kazuma Jinnouchi – 🚨HOT TAKE ALERT 🚨 Halo 5 was a decent game with a shit campaign. Both it and Halo 4 had some great tracks. Speaking of Halo 4…
Green and Blue by Neil Davidge – Neil had an impossible job of following up Marty and Salvatori’s OSTs, but I feel like he did a decent job. Arrival and Green and Blue were some good entries.
With Grace by We Lost the Sea – Did someone say 11 minutes of slow buildup to a climax that makes me climax? (Australian metal band moment)
El Duelo by Vita Imana – Man I hope the translated lyrics aren’t something really bad.

Country of the Year
Iceland. I flew through there during the “hottest” part of the year and it was like 60F. What an incredible place. Also please don’t explode while I am traveling through next time. Or do and get me trapped there for a free vacation. Hi Irish.

Fur Bait of the Year
Got to be Satan from Helluva Boss. Sorry hot werewolf man from Windblown, you might have my heart but demons got my soul.

NFL Team of the Year
Got to be the Buffalo Bills. I like the Lions and I’m a Bucs fan, but man Josh Allen is so fucking fun to watch and earned not only MVP, but more important, MY award with that ass-backwards snow shovel pass to Amari Cooper that was then lateral’d back to him. My vodka addled mind could not process what the fuck happened on that play.

Play in question: https://old.reddit.com/r/nfl/commen.....ri_cooper_who/

NFL Loser of the Year
Got to be the Cleveland Browns. Fuck the Cleveland Browns. The biggest loser is Deshaun “Groper Cleveland” Watson. I think he literally the only player I have ever seen who has elicited stadium-wide cheers when he suffered a major injury. Absolute piece of shit human on a piece of shit team that wears shit colors.

Artists of the Year
 knightseternal Knightly is such a cool fuckin’ dude (hi Knightly). A lot of lads knew about the really difficult time I had during my 2-year long job search and the incredibly stupid things that happened during it. During one of the worst times of it, Knightly was like “HEY FUCKO LETS MAKE A QUAD GIDEON” and then we spent the next few nights chilling in call making quad Gideon into the early hours of the morning. It was a very kind and thoughtful thing to do and certainly helped me get my mind off the shit I was going through internally. Thank you Knightly for being the cool dude you are <3

Nebelviper (https://bsky.app/profile/nebelviper.bsky.social) : Some of my absolute favorite pieces this year have been from Nebel. She does such an AWESOME job with Demon Gideon that I just have to gush about it again. She’s also fantastic to work with. Highly recommend.

 neltruin Neltruin brought my D&D characters and some very cool concepts to life for me this year that I still asdjkfhgjg at because my D&D characters live rent-free in my head all the time. Also that one smut of Demon Gideon WEW

Food of the Year
Burrito. If you didn’t know this one already, I’m disappointed in you.

Restaurant of the Year
Chipotle. If you didn’t know this one already, I’m very disappointed in you.

Alcohol of the Year
Casa Dragones Blanco my beloved

Kink of the Year
Paws. Guess what it’ll be next year.

Paws of the Year
It is a strong tie between the  killioma,  tenaflux, and https://bsky.app/profile/nebelviper.bsky.social pieces from this year for many reasons. I mean *just look at them aaaa*

Roll Credits
Not me finishing this in February because I left the near finished draft on a different computer back in January…

Anyways, the 2024 credits

Team Goated With The Sauce (Sexual Style)
 galeboomer  gylph  spiffyjuize
 subitokurai  asbellhant  draxlerfox
O hi Mark and our team mascot  toumakthegryphon

 knightseternal for being a fuckin amazing friend

 themetaisreal for being a great conversationalist and getting me thinking a lot about my own characters

Chipotle

Burritos

The frequent lads of Lad’s Landing

Everyone who puts up with my brainrot and paw lust on Twitter and Bsky

I’m hopeful for this year. It has been 2 years since I could say that, but I mean it this time. Here’s hoping.

As for you, I hope only the best.

Until next time <3

I was not expecting to be at FC this year, but I had a work trip nearby earlier that week, so I registered, got a room with some friend, and flew in for my first con.

It was a fun time. I was kind of incognito for most of it for Reasons™️, but it was fantastic getting to meet a ton of lads in-person and have some great memories.

It has definitely opened the idea of doing some other cons in the future. My biggest challenge is physical limitations with how shit my back and feet/ankles are, but with frequent exercise and hopefully being able bring better shoes (stupid story), that won't be a problem.

Anyways, thanks to the lads who made FC 2025 really fun. I'm glad that Toumak convinced me to detour over for a few days and extend my Vegas bender to San Jose 😂

I'll probably be taking a look at FWA, AC, or BLFC this year. It was refreshing to just vibe with people, so I think it will be fun to try and do that again.

Oh yeah, the 2024 recap is almost done and will debut the Gylphie Awards, a set of entirely subjective and made up awards such as Cuck of the Year :)

Also, I'm finally back home after being out and about for about a month, so hopefully things return to normal and I can actually chat more often 😅

Low-key at FC 2025 this year. I only told a few lads before now since I do have some anxiety and some exhaustion I'm fighting, but feel decent enough to make a small public post.

I don't have any badges or anything, but I am carrying a mind flayer around my lanyard so that's me if ya see me. Anyone is welcome to say hi, but hugs and DMs for mutuals and lads I've chatted with a bit only please 😅

Given the recent exodus from Twitter and to BlueSky, I thought I'd plug my BlueSky accounts again (and for the last time lol)

SFW Bsky: https://bsky.app/profile/gylphie.bsky.social
NSFW Bsky: https://bsky.app/profile/lewdgrapes.bsky.social

Also, things should be looking up again in Gylphie town. Finally getting back on my feet after nearly two years of stress and sorrow. It feels really nice to finally escape the nightmare. I'll probably write some more about it in the 2024 wrap up journal in about 2 months. I skipped the 2023 wrap up because damn that was a really bad year. I must have written around 10 drafts of it, but it was just really unpleasant overall and I didn't want to air dirty laundry like that 😅 I'm glad that 2024 will end on a much better note though.

I hope yall have been doing alright in the meantime <3

I made a BlueSky journal about 2 months ago when I made my account there, but thought I'd make a second journal for two reasons!

1) A lot more folks are on BlueSky now

2) I've got two accounts on BlueSky to separate SFW and NSFW.

If you'd like to follow my SFW account where I'll post SFW artwork and generally just blabber about D&D and thoughts that cross my mind of the not-horny persuasion, then check out https://bsky.app/profile/gylphie.bsky.social

If you'd like to follow my NSFW account where I'll post NSFW artwork and probably talk about how down bad I am for illithids, monsters, my mutuals, and whatever flavor of the month monster I want to be abducted by, then check out https://bsky.app/profile/lewdgrapes.bsky.social

I hope yall have been well! I know I don't often respond to comments, but I appreciate (most) of them! Things have been pretty wild recently and this year very rough, so I haven't been as socially able or available, but things are looking to be turning around very soon and I think I'll be able to end the year on a very high note :)

Howdy

Making a rare journal post to let yall know I'm over on BlueSky now at https://bsky.app/profile/gylphie.bsky.social

I'm hoping to use it more as Twitter continues to circle the toilet bowl. I'm actually kind of liking it and starting over there. When I get another invite code, I'm going to use it to make another account there and separate between SFW-ish and definitely NSFW accounts since I should have done that on Twitter years ago.

Anyways, I hope yall are doing well and things are looking up ya. It's been quite rough for me this year, but hoping for a turnaround soon 😅

The Retrospective

So here’s something. This is the fourth time I’ve opened this document. It is currently January 1st, 2023. I started this writeup back on December 1st when I wasn’t in the best headspace. I even have a line in there about how when I post this, I’ll have edited it multiple times. Good foresight, Gylphie.
The original was far more negative. What you get to see here is all those emotions finally processed. I write these up every year now as a sort of therapy and also a way to share what’s going on in my life to those who are interested. I feel like we so often forget the human aspect. Locked behind a screen and only hearing the voice or seeing the text of someone can sometimes isolate us from the very real things happening in someone’s life. We try not to speak about the negatives in life because it can be a burden for others who are not asking for it. Other times, we avoid speaking of the successes and achievements in our lives for fear of looking boisterous or sparking envy. Well, at least I do. Except for this journal.

Let’s recount the major moments of 2022 for me, both good and bad.

December was rough, but ended in an unexpected high note. I struggled greatly at the beginning of the month. Many folks don’t know I have an emotional disability. It is something I hide well. I structure my entire day and life around keeping it under wraps. But in December, the wraps were worn thin. As I’ll bring up in the part about November, I was hit hard by my layoff. A central part of how I structured my week was knocked out suddenly, and with it, the whole way I lived. Suddenly, I wasn’t just fighting the normal negative feelings you’d feel with a layoff, but I was also fighting against the destabilization of my way that I kept myself in check. It was hard man. To feel and know that some of your sanity is weaning away is distressing. Through a lot of resilience and effort, I was able to recognize these things and soon was able to restructure and stabilize. Instead of having my job be the routine thing I structured my day and life around, I made exercising the core pillar supporting everything else. While I had been going on 2.5 mile walks daily for a while and had strengthened my injured knee to the strongest it has been in 5 years, adding in a full exercise regiment has been great for both my physical and emotional health. It was much needed for what else December would end up holding. As the holiday rolled around, I made my way out to my parents. Unfortunately, my grandfather also entered hospice care as I arrived. The circumstances of the situation required me to cycle with my father on taking care of him. It’s been hard, I won’t lie. To see death slowly take someone is harrowing. I’ve made my peace with the inevitable and won’t be hurt by it, but it’s given me much to think about. Despite death lingering in these last days of 2022, I was able to end it on a positive note. I have a great shot at a fantastic job that I’d be happy in. I’m hopeful for it and was glad that I could end 2022 in high spirits.


November was rough dude. Being laid off right before Thanksgiving hurt. The circumstances kept me from seeing my family. I took it all very personally. Every day I’d wake up and think that this couldn’t be happening. But it was. My work was important to me. It was important to the people I interacted with. To not have that anymore was different. I don’t think calling it bad would be right, but it just felt wrong. Like I’d fallen into this alternate universe and didn’t belong in the place I found myself in. These feelings built up and led to the bad beginnings of December. November was the lowest I’d been in a long time. The rest of the year won’t be as long as these and will just be highlights.

In September,  toumakthegryphon bought the two of us tickets to my favorite CFB team’s home opener. I finally got to meet the giant, and while the game itself was uhhhh disappointing to say the least, the entire trip was a blast and the highlight of my year. Thanks buddy <3

In August, I turned 25. That’s the closest information you’ll get to my birthday 😉

In August, the lads and I completed both normal and challenge mode Day 1 King’s Fall. Massive shoutout to the lads  toumakthegryphon,  galeboomer,  subitokurai,  spiffyjuize, and  asbellhant.

In August, I also completed Subnautica: Below Zero and totally did not cry. https://twitter.com/Gylphie/status/.....Hhz3R9YCv_2ZSA

In July I took my first vacation since before COVID to Disney World. It was a nice time.

In April, I started my descent in meme madness and it has only gotten worse and the next time I do something like this, the world will truly regret giving me access to technology https://twitter.com/Gylphie/status/.....Hhz3R9YCv_2ZSA

In March, the same lads as above and I finished the Vow of the Disciple contest mode Day 1 raid. That was fucking amazing and the greatest experience I’ve ever had in a multiplayer game.

In February, forget not 💜 .

In January, I had the best chicken in the world. That’s it, the highlight of January. Well, I guess we also had some pretty fuckin’ amazing NFL playoff games.

If you’re wondering if this is therapeutic for me, it definitely was. Underneath the majority of 2022 was an intense anxiety and stress. It led me to retract even more than I previously had from a lot of things. I hope that with much of that being gone now, I can begin to build back to where I was and make up some lost ground. As for other things in 2023, expect more Day 1 completions, the complete melting of my brain from memes, and me entering into my goblin phase with art.

Grapeside Chat 2022
With the spaghetti there all spilled on a month-by-month basis, on to some of the interesting, fun, and or stupid stuff going on.

Obligatory Social Interaction Stuff for Friends: I fucking suck at keeping up with people and starting conversations and/or reaching out to do things. I get pretty intense anxiety doing so, so if we’ve grown apart or it seems I’m MIA, I’m just a bit of an anxious wreck and am always down to clown.

Conventions: It could happen in 2023. I very nearly said “fuck it” and grabbed a room in downtown Chicago with a one-day pass to MFF this year, but my sixth sense/gut told me it wouldn’t be a good idea. Turns out it was right since I was laid off very soon after making the decision to not do my Plan B trip to MFF.
SO, what’s the plan for 2023? I might try to see some of the lads down in Dallas around the time TFF happens. BLFC is off the table unless I get a massive jump in salary at my next job since getting to Reno for me is very expensive. FWA is the most likely of the bunch since it is by far the most doable for me. MFF is too far away to tell, but I might make my Plan B the go-to plan for 2023 and spend the majority of my time in Chicago seeing the sight, hanging with my best bud from high school who lives there, and seeing who all at MFF wants to come along for things in downtown when I’m not at Rosemont.

LFG: I’m interested in getting a 3D model of Gideon sometime this year for VRChat. If you know any lads who would be able to do a good job with a lad like Gideon, I’d appreciate you dropping their socials in the comments!

Art with the Lad ™️: If we are mutuals either here or on Twitter or chat elsewhere and you'd like to get art, drop a note or message where you have me! I'm down for a lot of things as long as we can find an artist! I'm especially interested if you want to get anything involved paws and/or corruption 👀

Roll Credits
To the lads that made 2022 bearable:

Team Goated with the Sauce (Sexual Style)



 hyperactivecoconuts for running some of the best and most emotional D&D sessions I’ve ever played in.

 lockhrin for being one of the funniest and most quotable people to be around.

 radruler because gaming.

 blown-ego for putting up with my memery, making some A+ Gideon meme, and always being a pleasure to chat with.

FOG for some wonderful game and movie nights.

Chipotle

Burritos

The frequent Lads of Lad’s Landing

All yall on Twitter who have to put up with my bullshit from dumb memes to bad gaming opinions.

I'm hopeful for 2023. I think I'll get this job I'm gunning for and will be happy. I'll get to stay where I am and make more than i was before. I'm going to keep up with my exercise and hopefully surprise a few people at a convention when I look nothing like Gideon LOL

As for yall, pay yourselves on the back. You made it through another year. Whether it was hard or easy, rough or smooth, making it through any year is something to take some pride in and a moment to recognize that. I sincerely hope that 2023 brings nothing but the best for you. I hope that it improves upon 2022.

That's it for this year's journal. See ya in a year :)

The Retrospective

Of all the years, 2021 was definitely one of them. You know, I’ll be candid. Above this right now on this doc is 3 entire pages discussing 2021. The bad, the worse, and the victories in spite of those. I don’t think I need to spill my spaghetti everywhere like that though, so I’ll keep it short and leave my purple prose for another time.

2021 is going to leave me heavily bruised, but not beaten. In the end, I’ve won. No matter how pyrrhic it might have been, I came out on top.

I achieved an MBA.
I showed those fuckers at all the companies that told me I wasn’t good enough for the last 2 years that I’m actually better than them and got hired at an elite, top of the line company to build out critical new infrastructure.
I achieved full financial independence.
I paid off my debts in full.
I fixed my crippling back problems.
I saw Porter Robinson in concert FINALLY and it was a damn dream come true.
I can sleep peacefully again.

It helps to list these out. Oftentimes in retrospective look backs, it’s hard to see anything but the carnage. The wreckage left in the wake of losing my closest companion as she died in my arms. The depression that cast everything in a haze of numbness. The loss of friends through the social anemia of sorrow. These things tainted my year, even defined it in ways. But so did the moments of hope above. While I might not be able to fix what’s been lost, I’m hoping to learn from them in 2022.

2022 might be better. The victories of 2021 will outlive the losses of 2021. While those losses will still sting, hurt, and return from time to time, I’ll be better prepared for them.

As for you, you made it. 2021 wasn’t just difficult for me. I know it’s been hard for others too in different ways. Perhaps even more than 2020. So, just for yall, you fuckin made it. Take a moment to rest and just remind yourself of that and toast with me to a better 2022.

The Grapeside Chat

With the heavy end-of-year retrospecting and spaghetti partially spilled, let’s get to some of the more interesting/fun/stupid stuff going on with me.

The Social Anemia: I lied. Let's spill a little more spaghetti. I mentioned social anemia above. Some of yall might have noticed my social withdrawal. I’m not the most talkative person, but have been more reclusive than normal this year. After Zelda’s death, I kind of shutdown. Losing her took a chunk of my small social bandwidth permanently. Couple that with a very emotionally taxing job and a 5AM shift, you can guess how that crippled what small social circles I had. While I was able to maintain some friendships, I know there are others that suffered that anemic death. If we had one of those anemic deaths, I apologize that it was collateral of things falling apart in my life. With the sorrow of death and my burden of being the confidant and pillar for everyone in my family and for some friends, life became too much at times. To keep functioning, I’ve had to drop a lot. I’m doing better now and starting to get that social strength back, but am definitely not at a place where I’m back to reaching out for things with most people yet. If we were buds and this year seems like we’ve drifted apart, that’s why. It was nothing you did. I’m sorry for not saying anything earlier. It’s hard when you’re in the thick of it. Hopefully I’m past the thick and into the thinning of the trees.

Art: So I’m back to drawing again on a somewhat frequent basis. I probably won’t post much here for now, but will be on my Telegram channel at https://t.me/gylphiespornstash . As for commissioned art, I’ll be real and say you shouldn’t expect me to fill the backlog. If the artist posts it on Twitter and tags me, I’ll retweet it there for sure. I’m more likely to put it in the Telegram group above as well because it is easy. As for FA, I will upload some things when I remember to, but it won’t be too often. I can hardly remember my own age sometimes, so remembering what to upload and that I need to upload is asking a bit. I’ll *try* to upload more often, but no promises.

Conventions: Gylphie going back on him saying he wouldn’t do conventions? Whaaat? Well, maybe. I’ve got the time, ability, and money to now. If I do any conventions this year, it would be one of either BLFC, TFF, FWA, or MFF. It would likely only be one of those with me declining the others. I’m leaning towards BLFC or MFF but TFF is a strong contender because then I’d get to slap Toumak in person, that giant fuck.

LFG: Let’s fuckin goooooo!

LFG 2: Looking for someone to make a VRChat avatar of Gideon, so if you know of some 3D artists who you think could do a good Gideon (read: can make a chunky avatar look good), definitely let me know of them in a comment below!

Roll Credits:

Wrapping up this weird retrospective rambling with some thanks to the lads that made 2021 bearable.

 toumakthegryphon for always be doing to clown
 subitokurai for being one of the coolest people I’ve ever met
 overgrownlizards for not spitting in my mouth
 lockhrin for being the most quotable person who isn’t Evan and literally always making me laugh
 sirspacedragurn for being the absolute god gamer of a Battlefield player and unbeatable tank driver
 bonnie.bovine for making Tiddyon thicc af in her first ref sheet https://www.furaffinity.net/view/40663349/
 eljado for the FUKN INCREDIBLE redesign of demon Gideon https://www.furaffinity.net/view/43252130/
 killioma for being actually the nicest, easiest, and absolutely one of the most professional people I've ever worked with when he blew me out of the water and into orbit with Gideon's new reference sheet (NSFW btw): https://www.furaffinity.net/view/43787661/
Important message related to above: https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachme.....D_A_THREAT.png
The entire D&D group
Chipotle
Burritos
And many more Lads from the Lad’s Landing.

(This was still 2 pages god dammit)

Ticket #159596

This is for taking down an account using my art.

Hey yall, I'm doing watch party Discord nights of watching Hell's Kitchen. Come join us! I announce when we are doing them on the server and usually watch a few episodes. I'll likely do one the night Feb 23 EST. I'm liking to do them more often because it is pretty fun. Feb 23rd will be the last one for a week though since I'll be traveling for work for a week. Hope to see you guys there!


https://discord.gg/pgdV8d2

Saw that I passed 1000 watchers today, that's pretty neat! Cool to know that 1000 of ya like the oversized grape lizard! I know I don't always do a great job at responding to comments, but I really appreciate them. I just don't really know what to say most the time lmao.

For real though, thanks for watching <3

I play a lot of Destiny and been looking for some lads to play with. For now I just want to stick it to mutuals who are interested in playing together, so if you're a mutual and want to fireteam up sometime, shoot a me a note and we can get all set up! Also to mutuals who I've played with when Destiny was on Battle.net and want to play again on Steam, shoot me a note or Discord DM and we can get all set up again!

Heya, I made a Telegram channel as a sort of repository for any commissioned work. It'll probably appear there before here since I suck at keeping up with uploading and being active on FA! There's also a few pieces on TG that I don't upload here because it is a bit more fetishy/different from my usual stuff(it's just extra chonk Gideon tbh).

Also, I do read and appreciate most comments on things, I just either don't know how to respond or get distracted and forget. Anywho, thank yall for any comments <3

https://t.me/joinchat/AAAAAFXezd4IB3Ft18s5dw

I celebrated another birthday this last week! Well, as much as you can when you slept 75% of the day haha! So ye, 22 now!

I received some freaking amazing gifts from  tankh and  dirtyturquoise that I will post within the next week or so! I'm headed out on a business trip tomorrow morning for the next week and don't have a laptop, so I'll be pretty MIA since I can't check anything while on the job (which is like 8AM-10PM every day LMAO).

Welp that's my yearly update I guess. Like always, if you're interested in getting art together, check my previous journal :D

Hey y'all! Never done a journal before, but figured this was a good opportunity to since it is my birthday! It is a bit surreal because when I was 18, I didn't think I would live to see 21. Weird how much things can turn around and change for the better in only 3 years.

Aside from that, thank y'all for watching and following. It was pretty cool to hit the 200 mark. It's also really fun to watch the notifications come in when something posted is really liked. I don't always respond to watches, shouts, favorites, or comments but I really do appreciate them all. They definitely make my day, especially when it is my own artwork. I struggle to see much value in my own artwork, so it feels really good when you guys do <3

Depending on how I feel about it, I might start posting some of my projects coming up into my scraps. Starting next week, I'll be starting work on a big project that I expect to take about a year to reach minimal viable product in my eyes. If I like some of the work enough along the way, I'll post some of the assets, writings, or ideas in it.

Anywho, I hope y'all are doing well. Got some stuff coming soon, so keep an eye out <3