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Return to Feral
Posted 16 years agoPosting this here since friends reading my LJ probably wouldn't understand :\
For the last several weeks, I've been changing myself, and now it's starting to catch up to me in ways that I can feel. I've been eating mostly vegetables and fresh meat. I've been running for anywhere between 40 minutes and two hours almost every day, and every day that I do, I just crave it more.
I said, I can feel myself changing. Not into anything, more like reverting back to who I was. I'm noticing smells that I've been missing lately, and becoming more and more aware. Of course my hearing isn't what it used to be, and never will be again (not on its own, anyway), but that's okay. I'm becoming aware again, and am more often picking up when someone is coming up behind me.
As I become healthier, I feel more feral, like I used to. I used to spend very little time in the house doing nothing. I used to be off running in the woods, swimming, hiding in the trees, tracking... And it feels so good. I find it really funny how my food cravings have been changing, too. The more fresh things I eat, the less fake things I want. I even tried a soda one afternoon and it brought no satisfaction at all. I've also been craving meat more than I used to. Not just, 'Mm, meat would be good for dinner,' but, 'OMG that raw steak looks absolutely perfect just gimme some salt I'll eat it as is!' And I have. Not whole steaks, but large chunks of my lamb and beef have been eaten raw before I cook the rest.
My mother says that since I've been suddenly so active, my body's remembering certain things that I've been ignoring and then forgetting. Like the fact that as a kid, I was anemic, and that to ebb the issue my mother would make very bloody steaks or cook me some beef blood. So I need more meat, more leafy greens, and red wine a few times a week. Sweet!
That will fix at least my craving for raw flesh in massive quantities, but I'm still left with the need to hunt and stalk things, as well as run and fight. And for these, there are no substitutes. <3
For the last several weeks, I've been changing myself, and now it's starting to catch up to me in ways that I can feel. I've been eating mostly vegetables and fresh meat. I've been running for anywhere between 40 minutes and two hours almost every day, and every day that I do, I just crave it more.
I said, I can feel myself changing. Not into anything, more like reverting back to who I was. I'm noticing smells that I've been missing lately, and becoming more and more aware. Of course my hearing isn't what it used to be, and never will be again (not on its own, anyway), but that's okay. I'm becoming aware again, and am more often picking up when someone is coming up behind me.
As I become healthier, I feel more feral, like I used to. I used to spend very little time in the house doing nothing. I used to be off running in the woods, swimming, hiding in the trees, tracking... And it feels so good. I find it really funny how my food cravings have been changing, too. The more fresh things I eat, the less fake things I want. I even tried a soda one afternoon and it brought no satisfaction at all. I've also been craving meat more than I used to. Not just, 'Mm, meat would be good for dinner,' but, 'OMG that raw steak looks absolutely perfect just gimme some salt I'll eat it as is!' And I have. Not whole steaks, but large chunks of my lamb and beef have been eaten raw before I cook the rest.
My mother says that since I've been suddenly so active, my body's remembering certain things that I've been ignoring and then forgetting. Like the fact that as a kid, I was anemic, and that to ebb the issue my mother would make very bloody steaks or cook me some beef blood. So I need more meat, more leafy greens, and red wine a few times a week. Sweet!
That will fix at least my craving for raw flesh in massive quantities, but I'm still left with the need to hunt and stalk things, as well as run and fight. And for these, there are no substitutes. <3
Commissions, just in case
Posted 17 years agoNot that I'm fishing for handouts or anything, but since I seem to keep getting requests for pics and prints here and on DA, I thought I'd just post up a quick blurb that if anyone does want a good commissioned pic just to let me know! I don't have any samples listed on the commissions page they have here, but my samples are basically this gallery and my gallery at DA. So yeah, I'm kind of like 7-11; not always doing business but I'm always open. :3 Want something, just ask. <3
In other news I'm... collar-shopping. I have a great collection of nice collars, ranging from playful to risque'... I've been wearing them since I was about 13 or so.
Well, my kid sister just lived to be 15 this year. Small miracle - you'd think after me my dad and step-mom would've tossed the other two in a gunny sack and threw them in the river upon hitting 13. :p So I'm sending her a late birthday present - with purple hair dye, instructions for stripping your hair, and a nice closet-Pagan pendant that was befitting of a blossoming girl. What's this got to do with collars? Well, I don't get to go home much, but apparently I made enough of an impact to make daddy dread her being a teenager... SHE'S A BEGINNER GOTH!!! She needs help from an older, more practiced goth (ME!) because there's nobody there to help her. And hair dye aside, I promised her a shopping trip and a really sexy collar.
My problem? They just don't make good collars like they used to. Hot Topic carries cheap-quality leather that falls apart after so much wear and tear, and Petsmart just doesn't have a big enough leather selection. (That, and the Petsmart employees don't like me much - I keep trying on the collars and trying to see how comfy their basket beds are.) So where do YOU guys go for good collars? Nothing TOO sexy - she is just a kid, after all. But something good. If anyone has any suggestions, let me know! <3
....Hmm..... I wonder if she'll turn out furry like her big sis.... :3
In other news I'm... collar-shopping. I have a great collection of nice collars, ranging from playful to risque'... I've been wearing them since I was about 13 or so.
Well, my kid sister just lived to be 15 this year. Small miracle - you'd think after me my dad and step-mom would've tossed the other two in a gunny sack and threw them in the river upon hitting 13. :p So I'm sending her a late birthday present - with purple hair dye, instructions for stripping your hair, and a nice closet-Pagan pendant that was befitting of a blossoming girl. What's this got to do with collars? Well, I don't get to go home much, but apparently I made enough of an impact to make daddy dread her being a teenager... SHE'S A BEGINNER GOTH!!! She needs help from an older, more practiced goth (ME!) because there's nobody there to help her. And hair dye aside, I promised her a shopping trip and a really sexy collar.
My problem? They just don't make good collars like they used to. Hot Topic carries cheap-quality leather that falls apart after so much wear and tear, and Petsmart just doesn't have a big enough leather selection. (That, and the Petsmart employees don't like me much - I keep trying on the collars and trying to see how comfy their basket beds are.) So where do YOU guys go for good collars? Nothing TOO sexy - she is just a kid, after all. But something good. If anyone has any suggestions, let me know! <3
....Hmm..... I wonder if she'll turn out furry like her big sis.... :3
And forgiveness IS divine...
Posted 18 years agoWell, my tickets are bought, props are in the works, rooms are being booked and you all know what THAT means... What? You don't? Really? Well, I guess most of you haven't known me long enough, so you're excused. But basically it all means that if you're going, you can catch me at A-kon 19 this year! w00t!
I'll be rooming in a suite this year with a friend of James', some of whom I've already met and they're a great bunch of weird Rennie dudes. <3 Also my adopted sister and our group of friends will be in a suite somewhere around there, too! Heh, my one thought is that since we'll be in a suite, maybe this year I won't have to sleep on the floor in the closet (it gave me privacy and only I was small enough to fit in there comfortably, but MAN is that floor hard). Maybe this year I can even have, dare I say it... a cot!
So we'll be getting there and checking into the rooms Thursday night and leaving Sunday night. Since it's still so far off, I haven't been able to find a definitive list of events, but as I schedule them I'll let people know. Why am I telling everyone this? Well, like many other persons and occasions in my life, I'm sure A-kon is a time and place where I've been in the same general proximity as lots of people that I know but just haven't met yet. And I'm always happy to make new friends! <3
So what should you look for? Well, I won't have a costume per se, but I will be wearing a highly recognizable article of clothing that's periodically one of my duties and shows people (without showing my license) what order of people I belong to. In short, just keep an eye out for a very short clergywoman who's bent on getting a picture a picture of Pyramid Head in her portable confessional.
I'll be rooming in a suite this year with a friend of James', some of whom I've already met and they're a great bunch of weird Rennie dudes. <3 Also my adopted sister and our group of friends will be in a suite somewhere around there, too! Heh, my one thought is that since we'll be in a suite, maybe this year I won't have to sleep on the floor in the closet (it gave me privacy and only I was small enough to fit in there comfortably, but MAN is that floor hard). Maybe this year I can even have, dare I say it... a cot!
So we'll be getting there and checking into the rooms Thursday night and leaving Sunday night. Since it's still so far off, I haven't been able to find a definitive list of events, but as I schedule them I'll let people know. Why am I telling everyone this? Well, like many other persons and occasions in my life, I'm sure A-kon is a time and place where I've been in the same general proximity as lots of people that I know but just haven't met yet. And I'm always happy to make new friends! <3
So what should you look for? Well, I won't have a costume per se, but I will be wearing a highly recognizable article of clothing that's periodically one of my duties and shows people (without showing my license) what order of people I belong to. In short, just keep an eye out for a very short clergywoman who's bent on getting a picture a picture of Pyramid Head in her portable confessional.
So... tired!
Posted 18 years agoIt's funny that way. I finally have a job that's got to be the LEAST physical I've ever had (save for getting up for water or bathroom breaks), yet I come home more exhausted than I ever did with physical ones. It's more of a psychological exhaustion than physical. I work as tech support for one of the nation's fastest growing service providers.
I doodle and draw at my desk to keep me focused on something other than angry people berating and belittling me and insulting me, but when I come home I'm usually so tired of looking at the computer screen that I can't seem to color pics for more than a few minutes, if at all. :( I'm sorry.
I am going to try and remedy this, though. I've got too many uncolored projects that are getting dusty and need to be finished. If you care to see any recent *finished* stuff, go look at my DevArt, where I keep my collection of "Apathetically Yours." I tend to do those on my lunch breaks to de-stress. :p
fading-star.deviantart.com
I doodle and draw at my desk to keep me focused on something other than angry people berating and belittling me and insulting me, but when I come home I'm usually so tired of looking at the computer screen that I can't seem to color pics for more than a few minutes, if at all. :( I'm sorry.
I am going to try and remedy this, though. I've got too many uncolored projects that are getting dusty and need to be finished. If you care to see any recent *finished* stuff, go look at my DevArt, where I keep my collection of "Apathetically Yours." I tend to do those on my lunch breaks to de-stress. :p
fading-star.deviantart.com
Too busy! D:
Posted 18 years agoI realized I haven't drawn anything for DAYS.... Noting successful, anyway. No good furry art in weeks except for one new one of my James, and the Star Wars gift art I promised to MarcusStarkiller but have YET to finish... My nights leave me so tired! //_-
So I thought I'd post something old that was still good. The three tiger pics are VERY old, from 8th grade, almost 10 years ago, and technically my very first full-anthro art. Ears and tails, normal, but full anthros? A real achievement for me. //_^
Until next updates ~
~<3
So I thought I'd post something old that was still good. The three tiger pics are VERY old, from 8th grade, almost 10 years ago, and technically my very first full-anthro art. Ears and tails, normal, but full anthros? A real achievement for me. //_^
Until next updates ~
~<3
