Would anyone care if I died? This may be the depression kicking in me again, but I need to know. I feel like a sack of shit that's only purpose is to be everyone's punching bag emotionally, I can't get a job at all because nobody will hire me, and I just wanna be treated equally. I do nothing wrong in society, and I still feel like I'm being treated like a criminal for being me. I'm sorry, but I wanna know. I just feel like I'm not worth anything right now.

Fair warning. X3

Happy Fourth of July? That's fucking rich. I am so upset right now that I WISH that today never happened. So before I get into why I am upset, let me explain a few things.
When I was a kid in elementary school, not a single person gave me the light of day. And with that sort of environment, you'd think that you'd only try your hardest to be accepted right? Well, I was so hated that NOBODY wanted ANYTHING to do with me. And without explaining the circumstances of my 3rd grade year, let's simply say certain family members were away, my faith in the US police was destroyed that January, and I had depression. At the age of 8/9 years old, I had depression and nearly SUCCEEDED with my suicide attempts. After about 4 or 5 years, I thought my depression had left me, and what had changed in me was the fact that - as I stated in a past journal ages ago - I cannot feel emotions anymore, yet I am still happy to keep on living. NOW, the reason why I started this journal.
I have been dating my 3rd girlfriend since 1/11/2016, and she has had depression since she was MUCH younger than I, and when she's herself, she is SUPER clingy and I can't get away from her. Well, I've been spending nearly EVERY day for the past 2 weeks dealing with her, which isn't a bad thing, but I've had almost no time for myself, which can make anyone cranky. When I told her that I wanted to leave her place and head back to mine - I had spent the night at her place yesterday - she was getting panicky and started freaking out at me. When I told her my parents were getting me - keep in mind I don't have my own car NOR my driver's license - she said something that I believe triggered my depression again. 'If you can't handle me, then why don't you break up with me?' Granted, she was upset and angry when she said that to me, but that doesn't make it okay. I feel so bad right now, that I want to just curl up and die. I probably won't, but I need somebody who's a friend to tell me it's okay, and if not that, something - anything at all - that could make me happy. I don't type these journals for sympathy, I type them out because it's hard to explain to everybody each and every time. You can say what you want about this, but please don't call her a bad person. That's all I ask.

I am going to be doing a Digimon World 3 let's play now that I OFFICIALLY own the game. I am accepting votes for which of the 3 starter digimon to choose from here, and the 3 that I am at liberty to choose are 'Kotemon', 'Monmon', and 'Kumamon'. Please only comment here if you do follow me here or on YouTube, it would be much appreciated!

As a side note, I'm looking for somebody who could make me a title card layout to tell people where to go after the main video is over. If somebody could/would help me on this, it would be MUCH appreciated everybody! :D

I am going to be doing a Kingdom Hearts Fan-Dub series on YouTube. Right now, we're going in chronological order and including everything that's relevant to the actual story as a whole, meaning no pointless worlds that don't have relevance to the story. Right now, we're going over Kingdom Hearts Birth By Sleep Final Mix, and I need people for the following roles (Also keep in mind that I don't care who voices who as long as I feel like they fulfill the roles right and keep it all together in a neat and perfect way.)
Ventus
Terra
Aqua
Young Xehanort
Old Xehanort
Master Eraqus
And I have taken Vanitas for myself.

If you want a role, please say in the comments 'I want to voice (name here)', and then send me an audition for that character. I will give you a script to read off of so that I can see if you fit the role or not. I'm also holding this on YouTube, and the audition phase is open until the roles are filled, so please try your best everybody! :D

So, this whole month is basically a 'hoo-rah' to who I was for most my life. This last week hasn't been easy, as things have been going down-hill left-and-right, and now I think that my 16 year old cat who I've had since I was 2 years old as a little kitten, may be ready to pass on to the next life. If I'm replying to notes, emails or anything, I'm sorry everyone. But I'll need to take time to gather my thoughts if he does pass soon. As if this month wasn't hard enough, now this happens. I f*cking hate this all so much, why does everything - and I mean EVERYTHING - that determines how I am perceived in society once I graduate from high school, have to be determined at the same time that there's a bunch of family bs going on right now!? I'm f*cking sick of it all, I've had this cat since I was two years old. Two. Years. Old. Do you have any idea how I would feel if he passes soon? I'd be devastated, so badly that I would be like when my first dog passed away when I was 5 years old. From what I'm told, I didn't eat or sleep well, heck I didn't even play with my toys for about a week or two when the first dog passed on, how long will this affect me if it happens soon? I hope everyone understands why I may be AFK if this happens soon.
For those of you who read this, thank you very much for bearing through it all. I appreciate everything that everyone does for me, but my life is in turmoil right now and I need to stick with what's important. Not to say everyone and everything here isn't important, but you understand what I mean. Also, a favor to those who believe in faith and miracles, please pray that my cat, Bumpy, lives at least a little longer, at least until after May passes. Thank you all, and a possible good bye for now.

OMG, the voice actors are casted perfectly, it's doing a great job at changing minor details between the original game and itself, and I'm in love with it tbh. Oh, and the fact that you can actually go back to Veldin (Original 1st world in the original game) It's even better! XD

As many platforming and especially PlayStation fans know, the series that started on the PS2 known as Ratchet and Clank is getting it's own movie and a new game on the PS4 this month. And to commemorate it, I wanted to do a top 5 of something related to Ratchet and Clank. Whether it be the Weapons, the bosses, the gadgets, the worlds or even the characters, hell the games themselves, I wanna hear what everybody else thinks would be a good idea before I just say 'Okay, I'm going to work on (blank) for the next week.' Only games I'm not including are 'Quest for Booty' and 'Secret Agent Clank', so please keep that in mind.

Out of all the Digimon fans who played the video games on anything, and you REALLY enjoyed that game for whatever reason, did you ever wish they would make a direct sequel either Story-wise or gameplay-wise? Because I was just talking to a buddy, and brought this up. He didn't have any in mind, but I brought up that I REALLY want a sequel - or hell, an HD re-release/remake - of Digimon Digital Card Battle from PS1. THAT was the best card game I've ever played in my life, in fact I played it so much, I can't even play the disc I own anymore. It's THAT bad.

WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON HERE!?!?! First we get that supposed 'gen 6.5 leaked list', THEN the confirmation of a Pokemon direct yesterday, and now we find out that a European trademark for 2 new pokemon games called 'Pokemon Sun' and 'Pokemon Moon' are registered!? Holy crap, what the hell is going on here!? ALL POKEMON FANS SPREAD THE WORD! SPREAD THE F*CKING WORD!!!!
My video of it:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=awZ.....ature=youtu.be

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!!!! :D <3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3
Hope everyone has a freaking fantastic one, and I ESPECIALLY mean that towards my FA family members! I don't have anything prepared, but I give my BEST hugs and kisses to all my family members today! :D

Once I get that new Digimon game today, I am essentially AFK for about... a month I'd say. Then factor in stuff like recording sessions and everything, and I can safely assume that there's going to be PLENTY of new Digimon content coming to YouTube today everybody~
For those who contact me via notes, don't worry as every morning before I start playing the game to relax before school starts, I will be responding to all the notes I have at the time.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tQ_Gy3u9AcU
If you are subscribed to me, please comment on this. I wanna do a Digi-month SO badly guys, I just wanna know what everyone thinks about this first. And if not there, then comment here and I'll get started on it in a few hours.

EDIT!
My bad, that link was bugged. Here's the poll. http://strawpoll.me/6555377

The title says it all, just make sure it pertains to games please. :3

I didn't find this out until JUST last night, but the latest ENGLISH RELEASED DIGIMON GAME - Digimon Story Cyber Sleuth - is to be released on 2/2/2016! YES, you read that right! I was curious if there was a release date yet, and I find Gamestop selling the games for PREORDER BONUSES ON 2/2/2016!!!!!!!!!!!
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

For those who like to be a part of the 18+ stuff involving diapers and stuff, I've created a chatroom on Chatzy. Message me if you're interested please~

2015. What a splendid year it was as a whole for me. A bunch of bad things happened, but SO much good things came to be as well. My grandmother was kicked out of our house, and thank the lord for that as she was a complete bitch even BEFORE her having Alzheimer's, I've made SO many new friends this entire year - in fact a good chunk of them are on my homepage, I got both a PS4 AND a Wii-U this year as birthday/christmas gifts, my recording gear broke and now it's repaired and ready for next year, I got plenty of work to do for the future and such, and it's safe to say that I'm happy with this year as a whole. Big changes are coming in the start of tomorrow, 2016, I can feel it. >:3

https://www.patreon.com/user?u=3662.....ert=1&ty=h
My Patreon page is now FINALLY ready, and my adsense account is linked to my channel now to! :3
I hope that you at least take a look at the Patreon page to help me out with all my future needs and wants. Thanks SO much in advance everybody! :3

So, my Skype account seems to just be bugged or some shit. So I'm going to make a new one after the holidays. Also, I'm looking for a co-host for multiplayer online Nintendo Wii-U and 3DS games when I get the capture card for the 3DS working. Anyone interested at all? :3

To all of the 'The Legend of Zelda' fans out there, I wanna know something. BESIDES NOSTALGIA, is A Link to the Past worth buying at a little more than $1.50?
Please keep in mind that I have NEVER PLAYED LOZ BEFORE IN MY LIFE