Hello guys,

I know I've been spamming those adopt reminders a lot lately, but don't worry- they're finally gone! I managed to sell them all! https://www.furaffinity.net/view/29529657/

I ask you, sincerely, do you guys want to see more adopts from me? This was my first attempt, so I'm sure there were some major details that I missed out on, but I can promise you, I will put plenty more details into my future adopts. I want to keep doing this, but I'd love to know what people think about the business in general. Please, let me know what you all think!

Also, I have NOT forgotten about the celebratory images for 5K views and 500+ favorites. Don't worry about those.

Good LORD, I never thought I would ever get any kind of notoriety around here. Not just with my commissions, but also with my own work: it means so much that you guys like my content! I’m so grateful!

I’m definitely going to do some celebratory pictures for this- hopefully I can get them out soon! Keep your eyes open!

Thank you all so much for your continued support, it really makes me want to keep working on my craft and putting out better and better content for you all!

Well, I've put out the word for the 5K pageview poll, and in a landslide victory, people want to see a special group picture with all of my characters!

Thanks to the two people who voted for the same thing!

Moreover, that occasion is FAST approaching- I may have to start working on it soon. I think I have an idea of what celebratory picture to make, but if anyone has any ideas on what they'd like to see, feel free to let me know!

In light of that, however, let me make it clear that I will definitely be inflating Astrid again at some point- people really want to see that, and to those people, rest assured, it will happen again. Maybe for the 5K piece, maybe not. If you're one of the people who wants to see Astrid inflating again, rest assured that it will happen. If not and you have a different idea, feel free to speak up!

UPDATE: Just recently I hit 500+ favorites- people have added my content to their favorites over 500 times. This is going to be a big celebration.

Sweet Jesus biscuits. I never thought I would ever get 5000 of ANYTHING on ANY kind of art website. I'm just blown away, I'm so grateful for all the support you guys have shown.

As such, I thought it would be fun to do something to celebrate the occasion when I officially hit 5K views. I'm still deciding on what I should do, so I was wondering what you all thought.

SO HERE'S A POLL.

https://www.strawpoll.me/16713606

I'm just looking for ideas right now, to see what you'd all be interested in seeing.

Keep me posted!

So, this account has been kinda quiet, huh? Off and on stuff like some new characters or experimenting with a new painting style to inflate my bird: https://www.furaffinity.net/view/28935957/

It's not that I don't want to keep making new content or anything, I've just been busy with real life. Honestly, when I do get the time to draw, I don't get the spark to create furry art. In fact, I'm usually not. I need to be in the right mood to draw furry art.

To all those who watch me, I really do appreciate it, but it does make me wonder- why DO you watch my account? A lot of people really seem to like Astrid- and I love her, too- but what about my other characters? My adopts, my paintings, the commissions I get? I'm glad I have an audience, but what kind of audience do I have here?

If you please, I'd love to know why you follow me. Don't be shy, I don't bite.

Tell me, guys, and be perfectly, 100% honest: why do you follow this account? A good chunk of you have expressed fondness for Astrid and the art of her, but I'm not the most artistically active person, and in the past few days, apropos of nothing, I'm really getting into adoptables, and that hasn't been getting a lot of buzz.

I'm not writing this to whine or rant, but to seriously ask, why do you follow me, and what kinds of things do you want to see me do? Does anyone like the adoptable designs, should I do more original work, or, pray tell, more commissions? I like getting commissions, but I'm not made of disposable income.

Going back to the adoptables, nothing has happened there. Should I just can them?

I encourage brutal honesty. I have thick skin.

Who wants some adoptables for $5 each? Someone give these critters a home!

https://www.furaffinity.net/view/28440690/
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/28458371/
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/28489183/
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/28489205/

https://www.furaffinity.net/view/28440690/
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/28458371/

Got five dollars? Want an adoptable? Say so on one of these critters, and said critter is yours!

Well, look what just happened: https://www.furaffinity.net/view/28426367/

Yep, I got a base from the phenomenal  Malware and I'm going to be tinkering with it a bit. People have already given me so much of their creativity, I'd love to give some of mine back.

If you're interested, please take a look, and keep an eye out for other ones in the future! I've always struggled with lines, so I figure I can really get creative with colors and designs- I'm looking forward to that! I think this was just the kick I needed!

So, uh... yeah. I’ll be getting another year older in about a week. Don’t worry, I’ve already had my existential crisis. I dunno why I felt like sharing this, I just wanted to.

Regarding the update- perhaps this is in tandem with getting older and the general passage of time- I’m well aware that I haven’t posted anything in a while. Lately, as I work on drawing and developing my skills, I feel like furry art “doesn’t fit,” if that makes sense. I don’t feel motivated to draw big furry boobs and anthropomorphic erotica; it just isn’t what I want to do with my art. I was hoping to do it on the side, and maybe get good enough to be considered worthy of some commissions or YCH’s, but- guess what- creating quality art of any kind is REALLY HARD. I’m not disparaging furry art or the effort that people put into it, but it seems like other people get more out of it than I do. I think I’d like to devote my time and artistic abilities to something else, something more personally meaningful.

Maybe that will change? I don’t know, my whims are fickle. I hesitate to say that I’m ditching furry art outright, but I can’t say when or if I personally will be making anything else. I’ve gotten some commissions, but I don’t want to be defined by other people’s hard work. Read the last passage and mentally re-word it so that I’m talking about money instead of artistic ability, and you’ve got my stance on commissions. I’m sorry everyone, this is just where I am right now. I gotta be me.

WHAT?

Oh my goodness gracious. I never, ever thought, in a million years, that I would get any kind of notoriety on this website. I got an account just to watch, but then I wanted to actually create some art and get some commissions, and suddenly I'm here. I... I don't even know what to say, I'm so flabbergasted.

Well, I CAN say this: THANK YOU. To all of you who have faved, watched, and even GLANCED at my work, thank you. Just the other night, I was trying to think of something furry-related to draw, and I was beset by the feeling, "I don't want to do this with my art," and now I have all of you supporting me. I know I still have improvements to make to my work- and it's slow going most of the time- but I've gotten a TON more attention and support here than any other artistic outlet. I feel motivated thanks to you guys!

In summary, thank you! Thank you, thank you, thank you! Everyone has been so nice, and I'm glad that I've stuck around here!

How to celebrate... Maybe I could do a commission or a YCH or something? Would anyone be interested in that?

Only on a handful of occasions has someone actually posted something on my journals. I'm not upset about it, but I do want to know if my journals are actually being read if- when all the stars align and the blue moon rises to eclipse the sun- I open commissions or something.

If you're reading this, please leave a comment. It can be anything, just something that shows that someone is reading this.

Around here, we might as well call it "Oviposition Day."

Wow, that journal (that nobody read) was really... something. I wasn't in a good place. I'm doing better now, but I'm definitely taking pressure off of myself by not compulsively scooping up commissions or forcing out art when I'm not feeling up to it. We'll see how things go.

DISCLAIMER: The following is an emotional vent, not directed at anyone, and with no intention of offending. I will handle things in real life. I am only writing this to express what is irritating me.
TL;DR: It’s three in the morning and I can’t sleep because I’m a furry. Bleh. I might take a break from producing content.


Why am I on this website? Why do I produce the things I produce and pay for the commissions I want? Is this what I want to do with my art and creativity? Scribble my own weak attempts at art, incentivized by a slowly-increasing number of favorites, comments, and watchers, while so many people around me produce better content at a more steady pace with more results?

I don’t want to slip into learned helplessness- I wanted to get artistically involved because no one knows the kind of content I want to see better than I do. If you want it done right, you do it yourself, as the saying goes. But that’s not happening, and now I’m here wondering why I draw in the first place and what I want to get out of it. Because nothing says “magnum opus” like a bunch of pictures of an anthropomorphic wolf with big tits. If drawing furry art satisfies you, then that’s wonderful. But I’m still learning to draw well for the most part, and I have no idea if furry art satisfies me or not.

And when I’m not satisfied with my own work, I turn to commissions. Because nothing fuels the dopaminergic reward system like getting notoriety by piggybacking off of someone else’s hard work. It’s only two weeks into March, and I’m on the verge of paying over $100 in commissions. I’m not saying the effort on the part of the artists isn’t worthwhile, but I’m wondering about my own financial responsibilities. It’s not that I’m financially unstable, and I find comfort in supporting other artists, but money doesn’t grow on trees, and I’m wondering if I’m biting off more than I can chew. How deep am I going here, and am I being too impulsive and reckless with my money?

Am I helping myself by having a sexual and creative outlet here, or am I hurting myself by living a double life and always questioning my judgment? I don’t know anymore. I’m exhausted, it’s late, and I’m probably going to regret writing this tomorrow. Who’s even going to read this?

I’ve committed myself thus far, and backing out of commissions is kind of a dick move. Once the commissions are taken care of, I’m taking a break. No more making or buying new content for a while- I have some soul-searching to do.

Here I am, mere minutes away from the end of February, watching midnight approach like I'm a deer in the headlights. I was dubious of this challenge, and it was definitely a pain at times, but here I am, having gone an entire month without sexual release. I seriously doubted myself at first, but it wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it would be. Maybe my impulse control is better than I thought?

I'm glad I did this, and I want to thank  TigerClaw_WI for hosting this contest. It's great to see this community giving back to the less fortunate. NFF is a pretty incredible thing- if you're not familiar, you can find out more here: http://www.furaffinity.net/view/26213317/

Now, I have a lot of content to skim through. At time of writing, there are 1,942 submissions that I haven't looked at. I'm a little disappointed that it hasn't reached 2,000, but beggars can't be choosers. Besides, I anticipate at least a hundred of them are weird bot submissions that are all like "X number of submissions don't exist."

Thank you all for bearing with me, and major props to  hypperone for sticking it through as well. This is a feather in both of our caps.

Finally, my hiatus is over. I'll get back on track with art soon enough (hopefully)!

EDIT: I sped through the submissions and got rid of the "nonexistent" ones. There were about 216 of them.

One week left in February, one week left in this wretched month. And I'm not just saying that because of NFF- I've always hated February. It's like the hangover after New Year's, the last remnant of winter dreariness that won't go away. I want the change of seasons. "New" implies that something changes. I want the change already.

Also, I still haven't fapped. I'm fighting the arousal and the urge, but it's been tough. I've always seen fapping as kind of a habit, so I've been wondering- what's one of the best ways to break a habit? Cold turkey? Moderation? Picking up another habit? For me, it's been a combination of the first two- cold turkey for the most part, but, as you may have noticed from my favorites, I've been looking at some new stuff. Cold turkey is good, but sometimes a little too drastic. I don't want to lose track of some of the good stuff before it gets lost in the cascades of new content.

Finally, I'd like to get this off my chest- I can't stand the word "fap." It just sounds... wrong. Hearing or seeing it makes me cringe. Even if it meant something completely different, it probably still wouldn't sit well with me.

Bottom line: still persevering through NFF, looking forward to March for a number of reasons, I don't like the word "Fap." Bye.

It's midnight somewhere in the world.

Halfway through the challenge! The hiatus continues to go well- having taken an all-but indefinite sabbatical from FA for this challenge, it's interesting to see how things pile up when you're gone. At time of writing, there are now 1039 new submissions that I haven't looked at. I'm going to need an entire weekend to comb through them all.

Still haven't done the second F in NFF, but it is starting to get harder to fight the urge. Not to the point that I can't function or it's interfering in my life, but I do find myself longing for it more often. Watching horror movies has continued to help, in addition to meditation, video games, and trying to live my life in general. I've also had a very persistent cold, so that's taken some of the edge off.

I'm in this for the long haul. It also helps to remember the people that this challenge is dedicated to- people with testicular cancer who have all the same urges and desires, but just can't get that release. I like to remind myself that I'm walking a mile in their shoes.

To those still participating, I wish you the best.

Also, Happy Valentine's Day or something like that.

Wow, that’s a lot of submissions. I want to see at least 3 thousand by the end of the month.

So, how’s NFF? So far, so good. Haven’t had many issues fighting the urge. Like I said before, I wanted a hiatus from FA, and it’s been nice. I feel like I’m accomplishing more and staying more focused on things IRL. I don’t want to disparage the website or the community, but taking a break from it has been kind of cleansing.

Of course, it’s only the first week. I might be shaking like a drug addict by the end of the month. Time will tell.

Want a tip on how to fight the urge? Watch horror movies (unless those turn you on too). It’s hard to stay aroused when Georgie screaming “YOU’LL FLOAT TOO” is still echoing in your mind.

That’s my update. To my fellow participants, Godspeed.

Right at the crack of midnight (In my time zone, anyway), I begin the NFF challenge. To that end, I will effectively be on hiatus from FA for the entire month of February. Nobody has done anything to make me feel like "EEUNGH NO I DON'T WANNA BE ON HERE" or anything like that. I want to go through this challenge without temptation, plus I've been wanting to focus on other aspects of my life. This place is great, but I need to maintain some balance, you know?

In summary, I will only be on here once a week to post an update journal. In awareness of testicular cancer, I wholeheartedly attempt this challenge.

If you're curious about this challenge and would like to donate, check out the information about it here: http://www.furaffinity.net/view/26213317/

I'll see you in a week! Thanks for bearing with me!

Omahgawd. I never thought I would get ANY kind of notoriety with my paltry attempts at art, and here I am with 50 wonderful people basically subscribed to my page. Thank you all so much- I came to FA because I wanted to express myself in a different kind of way, and it’s so meaningful and validating that you guys like these expressions! Thank you all so much! I hope I can keep putting things out that you all enjoy!

Also, be sure to give some love to all the people I’ve gotten commissions and art from! I owe a ton to them, too!

Motivated to draw? Yes!

Have time to draw? Some!

Have ideas on what to draw? ... um...


So, yeah. I've been drawing more, and I would like to keep drawing, but I'm kind of drawing a blank. All of my watchers and all of the people who add my work to their favorites? You really motivate me! I genuinely want to keep doing this, and I genuinely want to improve. I'm not the greatest artist, and I'm not beating myself up for not being better... that much... but the point is, I want to keep doing this and I want to keep making the stuff you guys like.

So, what kind of stuff would you like to see? I've gotten a lot of people's input on how much they like Astrid, so there will definitely be more of her, but anything specific? What do you guys want to see from me?

I have a list of what I will and won't do in my commission info (not taking commissions, sorry) http://www.furaffinity.net/commissions/hafgan6561/

So, I've been posting some more art lately. Maybe this will be a continuing trend? It's not that I don't want to draw, I just have other things going on- my involvement with FA is a pretty vestigial part of my life.

That said, I'm more secure in where I am and what I'm doing, so maybe I'll be putting some more work out than usual. Again- I can't stress this enough- I'm not a professional, and I'm not doing this for a living. No promises about regular updates.

In any case, I really appreciate all the people who have put my work in their favorites and watched me! It's validating, truly. I'm still in the closet as a furry- even my closest friends don't know- so it's nice to have an outlet for my interests here. Thanks again, and hopefully I'll put out some work that you guys like.

Okay, so... I'm not going to be very active for a while.

I won't bog you down with reasons. I don't feel comfortable doing this, my life has been getting busy, and I don't want to stack this whole situation on top of the already-precipitous load of things that I'm dealing with. No idea how long this sabbatical will last, given my general lack of restraint, but don't anticipate anything from me anytime soon. Thank you for the support you've shown me, but this account is going to be pretty quiet.

Well, hello again.

I just adopted a new character- one that I've been fond of for a while now- and maybe, hopefully THAT will be the push that really gets me to draw more. I'm excited, but, as always, I can't make any promises.

Major thanks to  Wesker10 and  Rukaisho for giving me this kick!