I have moved accounts to  JasperKai please follow me there!

Thank you so much!

I am "back at home" and I've never felt more lost.
The space around me feels foreign.
I don't even feel like I have anyone here.
I just spent and hour with my girlfriend and it felt like I was alone. It just didn't feel the same.
We went into stores and she vanished, which normal was fine we'd fine each other and talk for hours about things we found.
Not this time, no.
She'd vanish and when we met there were maybe two words said....that's it....

I twitted about being bored and one of my friends came back that we get it Illinois is boring.
I was just making a comment.
If this is what my month of break is going to be like...I don't want it....
I would rather go back up north and be technically "alone" there.
One of my friends offered me to come with them maybe the offer is still open.

I just feel...out of place here...like I'm back but everyone but my family could careless.
Just. Sigh. I don't know.

Hey a friend of mine has just opened up commissions. She's a crazy talented artist pop on over to her page over here --->  bleeding---rainbows

Here's a link to her journal with everything all laid out for commission prices and what have you! She's super nice and doesn't bite don't feel afraid to click the link!
http://bleeding---rainbows.devianta.....OPEN-410151282



Thanks for reading!

As for me a quick little update. Midterms are going on for me this week and I have had less time than I have wanted for commissions though! I am hoping by this weekend to at least have some traditional/digital mixed media ones opening up after I finish a couple of drawings. 3 to be exact!

love ya peeps!

Stay beautiful!

So College is great it's a lot faster pace then my community college so I am still trying to figure out how to do what and when to do what and still have time to get all of my homework done. Once I am able to balance that out a little better I will probably be opening commissions again only after I am able to draw and finish everything that needs to be done.

Overall though life is going awesome and I'm trying to find some more pieces of art that I can post up here some time as well as figure out pieces for my Transfer View to see if I can even get into the Bachelors of Fine Arts program.

XBOX HELP

If anyone can help me out with this it would be awesome.

I have an Xbox 360 Elite 120GB, and the tray will not open. The motor wants to click but it will not open the tray. I have taken off the face plate, nothing is in the way of the tray opening. And it normally does open once there is already a game inside. When the tray opened last I was able to grab the disc out and I was going to stick a blank CD in the tray to always have something there but it closed itself right after I grabbed the Disc. My Fable 3 disc is now oddly bubbled in a way but it isn't like popping up. I also cannot open the tray from the Xbox Guide menu screen that you can pull up by pressing the Xbox Home Glowy Button thing.

Along with that, it will not let me create a new profile so I can only sign into my XboxLive one (which is the only account left on there since my brother deleted the rest of them before I took Reaver to school with me). It will sign on but it will literally take about 20 minutes and it will NOT connect to live even though it is connected to an Ethernet cord and I have gone through all of the processes the school wants to have it connected just over a week ago the tray WOULD open and i WAS connected to live. Now, when I finally get into it I am able to go to all of the games that I downloaded to my harddrive and what not and play them HOWEVER it says I am no longer signed into an account and I have no storage device.... Though It is able to find the hard-drive.

Also when I sign into my Live account it prompts me to create a new avatar. I clicked one and went to save it and it says, "Unable to save Avatar there is no storage device connected".

I am fearing that it is reaching the end of its life and I am not going to be able to afford a new one any time soon...if you can help much would be appreciated. There are a few more kinks if you have an idea leave a comment and if you need more I will be happy to add some more kinks but those are the main ones and if I keep typing I'm going to be late for Art History...
Ta-ta!

-Kai

Okay!

I haven't forgotten people that I need to draw for! (There are plenty) I just literally have had no time. I have been going to work doing things until midnight or later passing out and then doing it all over again. There's so much to do before I am heading up to Steven's Point.

ONCE I AM UP THERE I WILL HAVE NOTHING TO DO BUT SCHOOL! I literally will have at least an extra 25 hours a week to myself to work on art work.

First picture I will be finishing is

 Laluch_Ven - Currently resketched and half inked. Will be sending a picture as soon as I have a minute to spear.

Promised art work to
1. Zenny  PandaSocks
2. Ben  ZephyrDragon
3. Nox and Ouji  NoxFreakHound
4. Burnide  Burnide
5.  roaringflamecat
6.  hraefn

Art Trade
1.  kyooyo


I apologize a million times over for the wait!
I promise a million times over that it is coming I swear I just needed to sort my life together a little more!
Almost there!

I move up Next thursday as soon as I have my classes all together and I know where I am and what i'm doing the artwork will coming pouring out.

Thank you for all the patience.

-Kai

So I had anything but a relaxing vacation and I got next to nothing done. Ugh.
The best thing that happened on my trip was that I was able to actually go to the Great Smoky Mountains national park (my mom wasn't going to let us go because the rest of the family didn't want to go) and I went to Baltimore Estates, which is Vanderbilt's home. And the house is seriously like a small version of Versailles in Paris.
Other than that...I finished an amazing two pictures when I knew if I had time I would have been able to finish a lot more. But ya know my cousins are more of the sporty type so them also wanting to sit around doing nothing but drawing is a stretch. Especially when there's a lake a few 100 feet down steep ass steps.
Don't get me wrong I love swimming...but I wanted to get some art done.

Needless to say I still have a lot of work to do for everyone. And It will be done. Promise.

I have a shit ton of requests to do (that I want to do). I might be keeping myself home from our family trip so I can get more relaxation here than I would there.
I have to wait on telling a friend that I even like another one of my friends and our date went awesome and I chickened out asking the girl out because of this one friend because I know she'll blow a fucking gasket. Which I really just want to go up and fucking tell her because I'm tried of tip toeing around her. Which will be possible if I do not go to Tennessee.

Art work to scan.

Hopefully something soon.

-Kai

I'm also hyper I should probably put that somewhere in there too. Lmao

So it's Friday~ HAPPY FRIDAY TO ALL IT'S SUCH A FANTASTIC DAY OF THE WEEK BECAUSE THE WORKWEEK IS OVER AND THE WEEKEND BEGINS!

Normal plans had to get cancelled tonight because the person who was settin' em up is swamped with school I have officially turned it into a game night at my house and I am beyond pumped! I used to have a game night pretty much every summer and my friends and I would dance central into the late hours of the night. I miss that (I also think it's why I gained a few pounds lmao I just love food guys!)

Tomorrow good ol' Saturday is Warped Tour. Holy shit I've never been to one nor did I ever plan on going to one. But my friend hand to cancel on another friend because her mom told her after they'd already gotten the tickets that they had a wedding to go to. I didn't want my friend eating tickets soo.... I'm going. Going to be a long day but luckily it's not supposed to be too hot. And I finally get to see Black Veil Brides~

And then the day after that when I'll normally be getting home from the concert roughly around midnight I have to be up and ready to go to my horseback riding lesson (which I have double this week) at 10:30 in the morning. Then at 2pm I'm going to a BBQ which I'm just really chilling with my friends. Once 4pm kicks in that's where my nerves are going to kick into over drive. I've already got a spiders web knotted in my stomach loaded with butterflies trying to flutter about thinking about it. I've got a date with one of my good friends who I've just so happened to like for most of my time knowing them. She's been taken for about a year.... And She was already taken when I found out that she used to like me back. (My life go figure). But she was complaining a little bit last weekend that she never knows what she's doing with her boyfriend because he ends up not communicating and doesn't really know what to do in a relationship. I joked about teaching him but I really have no desire to do that. So she brought up the idea of us going out on an actual date. I triple checked with her that if she wants a date it's going to be a date, date and I'll be treating it like any other first date that I would have with a person. She then told me just pretend I'm your girlfriend for the night. Heh, twist my arm if you have to I don't know if I can do that (kidding). I'm taking her out to dinner and then going to see a movie of her choice which happens to be The Conjuring. She hates scary movies, but her curiosity always seems to be getting the better of her. Knowing that cuddling with me won't be enough I bought her a stuffed animal and to top that off (since I always give a gift on the first date but this time the stuffed animal was just an extra) I bought her a necklace and put it on the animal's neck. Fingers crossed that she liked it. I'm just nervous about the whole thing because I still don't want to mess it up or be too much...but fate would have it that she told us that she's taking a little break from her boyfriend it was a mutual thing...but still. Here's to hopin!

Still nervous lmao


But video games on the brain. My dad challenged me to Soul Calibur. Going to be thinking about it all day at work xD

ENJOY YOUR FRIDAYS BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE!


- Kai

BASIC...
Full Name: Kaiden Matthew Kangail
Birthday: May 23rd, 1994
Height: 5'5"
Weight: 125
Eye Color: Light Blue
Hair Color: Brown/Blond roots
Race: White
Zodiac Sign: Gemini

DO YOU...
Drink?: Here and there with my parents.
Smoke?: Never. Asthmatic.
Use Drugs?: Nope, never have and never will.
Cuss?: What the fuck do you fuckin' think?
Play Any Instruments?: I'm still trying to figure out my ocarina.
Have Any Peircings?: Nose done, Industrial, one in my left ear and two in my right.
Have Any Tattoos?: Not yet but I will be covered when I have the money and I'm out of this house.
Like To Annoy People?: I don't like to annoy them. I tend to end up doing it anyway. They normally annoy me.
Like Life?: For the most part, yet. Have to make the best of what you have. And I feel like I haven't done anything to truly -live- yet.
Wear Make-Up?: Nope.
Dye Your Hair?: Yes, I need to sooooo bad.
Scream At The top of your lungs for no reason?: I've done that once or twice
Get Distracted By Shiny Objects?: Oh yeah or a pretty sport car mmf~
Like Pina Coladas?: And getting caught in the rain?
And Getting Caught In The Rain?: Aha didn't know this was the next question xD I love getting caught in the rain~

ARE YOU...
Dependable?: I would like to believe so
Trustworthy?: Very much so. I just have trust issues with everyone else.
Obsessive?: With my characters, music and video games yes (I didn't just buy a shit ton of DMC stuff for my dorm or anything to show my love for Dante and Vergil and Kat *Cough*)
Hyper Active?: Get me in the right mood or place and I can be.
Happy?: Most of the time yest :]
Content?: Daily lmao
Boring?: To some people I'm sure. I try not to be though.
Violent?: Ha. Trying to get better with this one. Anyone who's been on my bad side would say yes to this.
Evil?: Well I am Satan.
Hippie-Ish?: No..
Shy?: Depending.
Paranoid?: I think I'm Paranoid~ I need to stop with the songs. But only about certain things would I say I'm paranoid about.
Annoying?: Wasn't this a question already?
Social?: With my group of four friends lmao and at work.
Religious?: Noooooooooooooooooooope. A little WIcca here and there but I wouldn't even call it that anymore. My own mixture of things.

WHATS YOUR FAVORITE...
TV Show?: Dexter, Game of THrones~, Anything on National Parks, Friends, uhh I watch too much TC to pick one.
Movie?: TREASURE PLANET
Band/Singer(s)?: Favorite band Papa Roach, favorite singer Sully Erna.
Song?: Right now, Lift me Up by Five Finger Death Punch.
Book/Story?: Oh god, I'll have to say Tiger's Curse right now or Hush, Hush.
Color(s)?: I have two groups, Black, Red, White, and Gray or Purple, Lime Green, and Orange.
Shape?: Spade.
Animal?: Wolf
Person(s)?: My friends, Buf, Ang, Purring Panda and all my friends on here~
Smell?: The woods right after it rains.
Flower?: Black Calla Lilys
Subject?: Art and History (When taught well)
Word?: Uhh fuck? ooorr I don't know lol
Quote?: "To love is to hate and to hate is to love, I have never been loved but I am hated".
Hobby?: Art, Horseback Riding, Writing, Gaming, Hiking, Photography, and many more.
Store?: Hot Topic or Good Will
Season?: Fall, because it's just the right temperature
Time Of Day?: Evening/Night

WHATS YOUR...
Worst Fear?: ....the unknown.
Life Goal?: Being able to live by the mountians owning an art gallery or just being a freelance artist and being who I am.
Greatest Accomplishment?: As of now there's nothing that really stands out but I'm sure that there are many things to come. I'm not done living.

WHICH ONE...
Pepsi Or Coke?: COKE
McDonald's Or Burger King?: Burger King~
Converse Or Vans?: Oh shit...hmm... Converse
Dogs Or Cats?: I ANIMALS
AIM, YIM Or MSN Messenger?: None Skype!
Chicken Or Fish?: Fish~
Black Or White?: Black
MTV Or FUSE?: Fuse.
MP3 player, ipod or CD player?: MP3
Pants Or Shorts?: Pants

DESCRIBE YOUR PERFECT...
Day: Sitting and drawing while drinking some tea or coffee in the morning and then horseback riding with my friends wherever and finishing the day cuddling with that one person and playing some video games or watching a movie followed by a fire pit and enjoying the outdoors before sleep.
Room: I'm not picky something with colors and comfortable.
Life: You can never know exactly what to expect in life. Everyone will have thier ups and downs. I would enjoy ending up by the mountians. The only thing that I would love to change is my birth gender.
World: One that didn't deal with everyone blowing eachother up every second.
Romantic Date: Oooh there are way too many to right out.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN...
God?: No.
Heavan & Hell?: Defiantly not by those names. I believe that there could be somewhere that horrible people could go and a place where good could go. But I am not sure.
Angels & Demons?: Oh yes.
Reincarnation?: Stongly.
Yourself?: I mean *pokes self* I hope I'm real.
Ghosts?: DEFIANTLY.
UFOs?: Oh yeah
Big Foot?: Of course
Lockness Monster?: I support Nessy~
A Thing Called Love?: Are you ready for this thing called love?Yes I do.

WOULD YOU EVER...
Kill Someone Else?: Not in a sane state of mind.
Kill Yourself?: That thought is in the past. If I would have to in the future I would have to be in some horrible amount of pain or something.
Beg For Money?: No, I have too much pride for that.
Skydive?: No no no no
Bunjee Jump?:No no no no nono I'm afraid that the rope might snap.
Make out in the rain?: Would love to!
Run Away From Home?: I've thought about it.
Ride A Motorcycle?: I want to own one.
Do Extreme Sports?: If I was able to train in them . :]


MORE ABOUT YOU...
Do You Own A Car?: Yes I do! 2005 Monte Carlo ST his name's Anubis
Ever Been To Jail?: No, and I never plan to.
Ever Gotten Kicked out?: Nope.
Do You Have A Job?: Yep working there over a year now.
Do You Like Taking Surveys Like This?: When I'm bored lol

THATS ALL FOLKS...
Are You Lonely?: Yeah but I can't really do anything about that....
Are You Sitting In A BeanBag Chair Eatin' Cheetos?: No but that sounds pretty awesome right about now.
Do You Fee The Urge To Send Me A Thousand Dollars?: No, I would like that in my back account though.
Really?: Yes please~
Do You Know Where That Comes From?: ...I feel I have failed.
How Many Licks Does It Take To Get To The Center Of A Tootsie Pop?: 85.
Is That Your Final Answer?: Yes.
Are You Sure?: Positive.
Postitive?: ......
Glad That This Is Over?: This last part yes lmao

This is going to be a journal of all sorts of things. I'm going to ramble on about a handful of stuff: commissions, time, work, college, and who the hell knows about whatever else.

I'm going to start with an update about everything dealing with my last journal (for those of you who read it and commented on it and just everything I want to say thank you for all of the advice and the support and kind of dealing with me when I was freaking it. It truly means a lot that I was able to meet so many fantastic friends on this site and I just thank you all). I would like to say that everything has gotten better, and by better I mean that my father is at least talking to me and is acting like nothing has happened. Which I gladly take over being kicked out of my house. It gives me more time to come up with a good handful of things that I would like to talk to both of my parents when the time comes to it and I'm able to get everything out of the table. The hardest one is out of the way (which is strange) I always felt like my father would be the one that would be the one to write me off as a stranger and forgot that I even existed so this turning out the way that it did gives me some hope, but at the same time it scares me because for all I know my mother could be the one that could turn around and not know what the hell to think of it.

Today I also figured out (during my fifteen minute break) that I really do not have that much time left in IL which means I really don't have that much time left with a job. So even though I really don't like my job...I'm like I need all of the fucking money that I can rack up here. I'm already in debt since I took out my fist student loan and I just know that they're going to start piling on from there. BUT with that being said that means that I will have a lot more time for commissions and other art things roughly 35 more hours a week to be working on artwork granted that my classes let me (Which I'm sure that they will). I'm hoping to be able to take on a lot more commissions when I get up there and I was also talking to a handful of people and they told me my commission prices are really, really low (which I knew). Which I might raise just a tinitiny bit (really just enough to cover whatever paypal takes out nothing drastic). As I get more time to work on art the more longer pieces that I will be able to work on and really put all of my time into which means different things to show you guys and different possible things that people could commission me for, if they ever so choose to.

AS OF NOW I am hoping to try and keep my bank account the same (if not a little more) from what I have when I go into to school which means I will probably be spending days on here trying to rack up commissions so that I can live and do some fun things at school and still be able to pay off my loans while in school (so I build lest interest I really hate being in debt it bothers me too the point that I freak out about it a little bit...a lot i'm a freak guys what do you expect lmao). But AGAIN more time equals more art and I know I'll be able to crank out a lot more pieces when I have more time to myself AND LETS NOT FORGET ALL OF THE BEAUTIFUL THINGS THAT'S GONG TO BE AROUND ME~ (I'm not excited about it at all...)

Another cool think I could be seeing Bon Jovi this Friday....but the seats I thought that I would be getting weren't what I was getting and seats that I would have gotten...sucked. He's playing a HUGE venue here and it would have looked like he was an ant from where the seats were. but...I which I could have gone because FUCKING BON JOVI!

on another fun note I got Sully Erna's book The Paths We Choose and I am so horribly excited to start reading it. He has to be one of my favorite people on the whole planet.

AND IF YOU GUYS WOULDN'T MIND DOING ME A FAVOR! VOTE FOR MY COUSIN TO PLAY ROCKSTAR'S UPROAR FESTIVAL
http://battle.rockstaruproar.com/u/.....oreTheMourning !! EVEN IF YOU DON'T LIKE METAL MUSIC PLEASE VOTE EVERY ONE COUNTS~ THANK YOU~

so i got a new phone but my brother got my old phone and i didn't delete all of the text messages like i thought that I did before we transferred everything over and for whatever reason my dad was looking through them for something and I had happened to be talking to one of my friends about being transgendered and my dad found out like that holy fuck i can't breath i'm freaking out. he already said "you can't tell your fucking mother i don't even know what i'm going to fucking do with that".

I'm going to make this short and sweet (because I don't know what I'm doing...) anyone whos' numbers that I have gotten on here I no longer have... I got a new phone and most of my newer contacts did not transfer over... if you had my number beforenplease be a doll and send it my way again? Thanks :3

I'm so sick of working a 40hr week and having the 8 hour day kick my ass to the point that I don't want to do anything at night because I'm so tired that I end up passing out or I work on something a little bit and then end up not liking it the next day and having to redo it but not having the time to sit and just to start and finish a piece in one sitting.

UGH.

And then on the weekends (since I literally only have a few more weeks here) mom has all this stuff planned for me to do. Like today I'm going sailing. I love sailing don't get me wrong! But yesterday I spent most of my time at the mall buying stuff for my dorm room and then mom wanted a fire pit and chill out with my neighbor and cousins. I couldn't exactly bring my laptop by the fire and working on a few pinups might have worked but 150+ markers that I'd need to shuffle through while tending a fire would have been obnoxious let alone the wind was anything but calm and more than likely would have burned the page. Burned my Mayhem shirt anyway. Back to sailing it's literally an all day thing. I've been up since 7am, my time, and I'm waiting on my mom to finish getting ready and then we have to drive to get my grandfather who lives a half hour away and then drive the hour to get down to the city we get the boat ready and we'll sail for a good 2-4 hours. And won't get home until roughly 8pm tonight. Which isn't late but that fucking Gib sail kicks my ass to raise and that sun is brutal. I'll be up as late as I can coloring and drawing that I can before I have to wake up for work tomorrow morning. Which I have horseback right after tomorrow. instead of leaving early and going right to horseback I get to now work a full day shift and get on a horse for roughly 45 minutes. And for people that are like "the horse does all the work" please get on a horse make it canter a course. ANY COURSE beginner course works. Outside line, angle, angle, outside line, angle, angle. Then do some rollbacks after that and bending lines and tell me that your legs don't hurt people.

BLAH!

I just need a vacation. I'm going to Tennessee later in July. That whole week I'm going to sit on the deck and do nothing but draw. The only thing that I want to do is take a horseback ride through the mountains. That is all.

And then I want to go to school. Where I will not be working, I will not have a car to get anywhere, and I only have 17 hours worth of classes to do. I will be doing nothing but drawing and homework in my free time.

Vent Journal over.

So I'm just trying to sort my brains out somewhere quickly. For commissions I have....

Commissions
1. Digital Full Body Shaded (x3) - One finished 1 Started 2 -  Snowfieldnebula
2. Traditional Pin-ups( x 2 )- 1 inked 1 sketched -  Snowfieldnebula
3. Portrait - Haven't started -  hraefn
4.
5.

And possibly one more that someone noted me on but I haven't gotten any info on yet. I'll probably tag ya back again, dude.
I'm hoping that I will be able to get the two pinups completely done by Saturday and my tablet should be fine tonight to start the other three. Woo

Damn...I wish that I could keep myself in a good mood for a long period of time if anyone has any tips let me know. I'm finding that playing Devil May Cry (the original one) with my dad cheers me up but that crash quickly falls. Damn

Commission info linked on the main page I'm still open but it's a tad slow with work but i'm working on them as fast as I can I promise guys.

I'm hoping that when I'm in school I'll have more time to take more commissions~

Well first of all I watched Mama last night, the movie wasn't scary to me but it was more the fact that the little girl in the movie was fuckin'' psycho and I happen to have a little ghostie still running around my house who is a little girl. Lets say no sleep last night until around 4 in the morning. Holy fuck. ANYWAY

**Small Vent** I'm a little loopy and really do not want to go to work today...but I need the money. I need to restock my bank account after my camping trip, I have Comicon in August and I also have a Godsmack Concert I'm going to in August as well, and let us not forget about school! Ugh. **Small vent**

Annnnnnd this didn't post until WAYYY THE FUCK AFTER I WANTED TO lmao i don't know why....

Welll anyway goodnight then? instead of good morning. Aha oui sleep

Commissions
1. Digital Full Body Shaded (x3) - One finished 1 Started 2 -  Snowfieldnebula
2. Traditional Pin-ups( x 2 )- doodled/sketched -  Snowfieldnebula
3. Portrait - Haven't started -  hraefn
4.
5.

The rest of my family went to the Dells last night for my brothers birthday and I opted to stay home because I needed to work (money), I'm going on a trip of my own this weekend, and hello home alone. I was not home for more than 20 minutes before I some how did everything in the book wrong.

I had the house to myself. I had friends over and watched Tangled. Such a horrible kid. I don't understand what I did wrong or what's going on. I haven't said anything to them and barely said anything when they started attacking me knowing it would fuel the fire. But not saying anything to them is making it just as bad. I literally can not leave my room without getting yelled at for something or another.

I just don't know anymore.

I don't drink, I don't smoke (cigarettes or weed), I don't go to parties, I want tattoos but since I'm living under their roof I have yet to get any of them even though I am of age that I could buy my own, they hate piercings so I don't have my lip rings and the nose ring was a push. My idea of fun is sitting with my friends drawing, gaming, or having a photoshoot. I have a temper. I will be the first to admit that. I've gotten better at being able to bite my tongue and not say anything. If you're close to me I'll speak my mind and let you know exactly what I think of whatever. I've bit my tongue and have said nothing with every fight my parents and I have gotten into recently.

I just. Don't know.

I really don't.


Will I ever be good enough for someone?

Anyone?

Or am I programmed to only reach that moment of happiness and bliss before having that path way ripped from underneath me only to have me shatter and fall more and further than before?


By the way commission info HERE

Commissions
1. Digital Full Body Shaded (x3) - Reworking 1 -  Snowfieldnebula
2. Traditional Pin-ups( x 2 )- Haven't started -  Snowfieldnebula
3. Traditional Flat Colored - Haven't Started -  kyooyo
4.
5. [/color]

So obviously right now my username is "Hallowed_Arts" because it was something that I was going to use for business cards and sounded better than my previous account. I'm debating on changing my name into something that sticks into peoples mind a little better or is a little more unique and fitting to my style. For those of you wondering "Hallowed" is spelled with an "A" because it ties to to my fursona Syn Hallow...Halloween.

The "new" names I have right now are kind of all over the place and I can't tell if they're any better than the one I already have. Top ones (as of right now) are: DeadzoneInk (Another play on words not 'inc' like incorporation but 'ink' like in a pen but from hearing it or reading it you might thing of the other idk. i'm lame with stuff like that), HallowedInk, Wolfacorn (My little creature I'll get a picture of em up here), BewitchingArt, CaptivatingWolf, and EnchantingChoas.

All were literally thought of at 6 o'clock am my time. But I don't know if they're any good and if I should change my username(Possible Business name...hopefully) or not.






By the way commission info HERE

Commissions
1. Digital Full Body Shaded (x3) - Finishing 1 -  Snowfieldnebula
2. Traditional Pin-ups( x 2 )- Haven't started -  Snowfieldnebula
3.
4.
5.

It's just one of those days. A good one of those days. That I want to do nothing but sit indoors and draw while drinking some tea. It's beautiful outside and would be a perfect day to in my sunroom and just draw, draw draw~! I have a fuck ton of markers now (thanks to  roaring-flame-cat who let me buy them off of her) and nothing to color. I want to doodle a bunch of different sketches and when I have nothing to do just outline one and color them in, like a never ending coloring book. Lol

Ah this weekend is going to be great I can just feel it in my gut. And today I get to leave work early because I have horse back (Huzzah~!!). If only it was Friday loves.


Hope the weather is wonderful by everyone else around enjoy it you beautiful people~

-Kai
_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Commissions are still -OPEN-

Info

[indent] God~ I do not know what to do. WELL correction I know what to do a little bit. I've been talking to this girl that I met online for a good month now...and before I thought you know it was just because of the timing and my mind was going for the rebound effect and was like "Dude Kay you need someone hmm -now-!." And....I was all confused then (I know I have another journal about her...heh) and I pushed everything off and just kept talking to her because she's a really really cool gal. But now, NOW I'm fuckin' crushin' on her hardcore. She's perfect. Everything I'm not she complements perfectly and at the same time she is -every- single thing that I am looking for. I mean -everything-. I already told her that I am not good with long distance relationships and I know that I need to focus on school (Not working for a semester is going to help with that though) and everything. And she's already told me a handful of times, that she wants to move to Wisconsin for my remaining years in school after her year and a half of culinary school. BUT I don't know the more I talk to her the more I crush on her. She's an artist, she's a gamer, she's a nerd, she puts up with me so far, she's funny, she laughs at my lame jokes on skype and through text. *explodes from all the emotions*


ANNYYYWAAAYYY the first year of college ended a week ago, today. And I took Monday and Today off of work and I have done nothing but draw and play games (and clean my room which took all day today because it was disgusting) and it's been amazing. I have had no homework to worry about it is fantastic. I love, love, love it. I'm excited more than ever for summer even if I will be working full time starting next week (only means more money that I can use on art supplies... :X). Yeah Summer's going to be great~! [/indent]


WHO ELSE IS READY FOR SUMMER?! SWIMMING, BON FIRES, ALL NIGHTERS, FAST FOOD, AND EVERYTHING ELSE HUH?!

Peace out you gorgeous, gorgeous people~!
-Kaiden




_______________________________________________________________________
Commissions OPEN
-info-

Seriously! Commissions are open!

I will be taking up to 5 to begin with! And depending how that goes I will be opening more later.

Commission Lists:

1.
2.
3.
4.
5.


Requests still to do,

1. Zenny  PandaSocks
2. Ben  ZephyrDragon
3. Nox and Ouji  NoxFreakHound
4. Burnide  Burnide



Types of Commissions open right now: Digital
THE CHARACTER USED FOR EXAMPLES OF COMMISSIONS IS NOT MINE! THE ARTWORK IS! The character belongs to the lovely  Zero_Phantomhive Check her stuff out
Sketch - http://i170.photobucket.com/albums/.....psb62b5347.jpg - $4
Line Art - http://i170.photobucket.com/albums/.....ps3a59f866.jpg - $5
Flat Colors -http://www.furaffinity.net/view/10601513/ - $7
Shaded - http://www.furaffinity.net/view/10626018/ - $9

Reference Sheets - http://www.furaffinity.net/view/10271584/
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/9271162/
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/9097677/ - $20


More than one character will be a 1 USD to add. Traditional pieces for markers and watercolors and possibly acrylics will be added to the list later. I do Anthro, Feral, and Humans. I also am up for any type of challenge! I try and do work and progresses of requests as it is, but I will be trying harder when it comes to commissions. If you have an ink commission I will be sure to send you what the sketch one looks like to make sure everything is cool, etc.
For a reference sheet the more you tell me that you would like on the reference sheet, the more that I can add to it!

To set up a commission please either NOTE me here or send an email to StephKangail[at]gmail.com or even if that doesn't work I have my facebook information on the main screen. So yes~

Update~ Traditional Commissions~!

-Edit- TRADITIONAL ART

Sketch Commission - http://toxicxtaste.deviantart.com/a.....253A1368934772 - $5
Flat Colors (Prisma Markers) - http://toxicxtaste.deviantart.com/a.....inup-372473304
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/10645288/- $9
Shaded Colors (Prisma Markers) - http://www.furaffinity.net/view/10861374/ - $11
Ink - http://www.furaffinity.net/view/10642888/ - $7

Stolen from the ever so awesome  ZephyrDragon


Male side:
[x] You love hoodies.
[x] You love jeans.
[ ] Dogs are better than cats.
[x] It's hilarious when people get hurt.
[x] You've played with/against boys on a team.
[x] Shopping is torture. (excessive shopping)
[x] Sad movies suck.
[x] You own an X-Box.
[x] Played with Hotwheels cars as a kid.
[x] At some point in time you wanted to be a firefighter. (For about a week or so lol I just wanted to drive the fire truck :D)
[x] You used to be obsessed with Power Rangers.
[ ] You watch sports on TV.
[x] Gory movies are cool.
[x] You go to your dad for advice.
[] You own, like, a trillion baseball caps.
[ ] You like going to football games.
[] You used to/do collect baseball cards.
[x] Baggy pants are cool to wear.
[] It's kind of weird to have sleepovers with a bunch of people. (I don't really call them sleep overs lol it's more just stay at my place dude)
[x] Green, black, red, blue, or silver are one of your favorite colors.
[x] You love to go crazy and not care what people think.
[x] Sports are fun.
[x] Talk with food in your mouth.
[x] Wear boxers.
Male Points Total = 18


Female side:
[ ] You wear lip gloss.
[x] You love to shop
[ ] You wear eyeliner.
[ ] You have some of the same shirts in different colors.
[] You wear the color pink.
[ ] Go to your mom for advice.
[ ] You consider cheerleading a sport.
[ ] You hate wearing the color black.
[x] You like hanging out at the mall.
[ ] You like getting manicures and/or pedicures.
[x] You like wearing jewelry.
[ ] Skirts are a big part of your wardrobe.
[ ] Shopping is one of your favorite hobbies.
[ ] You don't like the movie Star Wars.
[x] You are/were in cheerleading, gymnastics or dance.
[ ] It takes you around 1 hour to shower, get dressed, and put on make-up and accessories.
[x] You smile a lot more than you should.
[ ] You have more than 10 pairs of shoes.
[x] You care about what you look like. Guys like to look good too (gotta look good for the ladies xD)
[ ] You like wearing dresses when you can.
[x] You like wearing body spray/perfume/cologne.
[x] You wear girl underwear.
[ ] Used to play with dolls as little kid.
[ ] Like putting make-up on someone else for the joy of it.
[ ] Like taking pictures of yourself with your cell phone/camera when you're bored. (Only when I need a profile picture lol And I look decent)
Female Total Points = 7

So life is really fucking good right now! I seriously do not know what to do with my fucking self :D

Yesterday I went up to Steven's Point, Wisconsin and registered for classes. I am now an official, official Pointer :] I will be attending classes in the fall and I already have so much time that I do not know what I am going to do with myself besides artwork! I'm not going to have a job, I am not going to have a car, but I am going to have 24 hour studio time. So when I am not in class or doing homework I will be drawing or trying to meet some awesome people up there. I'm really pumped for that!

Now, today, I checked le emails! And as a joke a few days ago I filled out an application to possibly be in a photoshoot commercial thing for Six Flags Great America. And, believe it or not, I fucking got accepted!!! :D This wednesday I get to go to the park from 2pm-6pm and ride BatMan, the ride, BACKWARDS until they call it quits :D I am so fucking excited! Shit like this doesn't happen to me~! Man!! I am so fucking excited! Even if I don't get face time on TV this experience is going to be amazing~! Damn I DO NOT KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH MYSELF I'M DANCING AROUND LIKE A FOOL!

Stay fresh y'all and keep rockin' :D

Ahh!

-Kaiden

It has just been one of those days where my mind is plagued with all of these "what if" scenarios. It, also, happens to be one of those days that I just do not know who I can go to talk to about anything. I know that my friends are always there for me but I assumed getting my words down somewhere else would possibly sort things out, even in the most minuscule way. I know how my brain works and just writing something in word and leaving it like that is not enough for me to even have the slightest feeling of achievement (I don't know if that is the word that I am looking for)?

I already apologize for this brain numbing spew.

I woke up this morning even more disgusted with myself than normal and I do not know what brought these thoughts to the foreground of my mind but they have not left. I began to wonder if it had anything to do with the girl that I met just shy of a week ago. If anything she is the female version of myself down to she has the level of obsession of boots (yes boots, like cowboy boots) as I do and the fact that she can quote Star Wars by heart. She lives a solid five hours away and I know that nothing would come of this besides a friendship and a nice person to talk to, about everything. But I couldn't help but feel and think "If I was only born the right gender...would I be going about this differently?" A huge part of me is saying that I would not. I am terrible when it comes to long distance relationships (Even though five hour is not that far away). I would rather have the person here relativity close to me that I could show of, enjoy their company, take them out to dinner, and spoil them with a handful of gifts whenever I desired. I can't help but like her...she's the splitting image of what my "ideal" partner would be. I am not kidding, even slightly, that she likes/loves everything that I do. She loves roller-coasters, she loves all of my bands and even knows some that I don't and is happily tossing them my way like I do to other people, she's going to culinary school (which is an art in itself)...I love food, she's beyond carrying even if the person doesn't give back the same amount of affection or love, she has played and loves every single game that I have ever been attached too, she draws, she loves and has tattoos but...even though the list could keep going...is it really that I like her? Or is it just a void to fill the spot that my ex left behind? I would like to believe my brain does not work that way...but the rebound effect has been scientifically proven. Though...I have already hinted at that I am horrible with long distance relationships to her and I would not do well in one. And she's already told me "that's fine. :3 I don't care." along with a handful of other texts and conversations on the phone that she would still love to adventure everywhere that we have talked about.... But...I just don't know..... And the more I talk to her the more I keep thinking about how I am stuck with this body until I can do otherwise. The more I think about all of the what if's. Like what if I was born in the right body? Would I have the friends that I have today? Would I have been able to get the other girls that I liked? Would my self esteem be as high as I believe it will be once I go through transitioning over? Then it doesn't help when I am on the internet and I can't help but stumbled across males either cosplaying or from a band or just in a random picture and I can't help but look at it and think "Damn...why can't that be me?" If anything....I just don't know anymore...The world is full of unknowns and questions, and there's time that I wish there was some ghost that could show me a world of what it would be like if I was the right gender originally. How would everything be? What challenges would I have faced? Would I still have had the friends that liked me in more than a friendly manor? Would I like myself? Would I actually see myself as "handsome" or "goodlooking" like how people call me "pretty" or "beautiful" now and I can't see what the hell they're talking about?

I just don't know....