I noticed it's been a long time since I updated this!

I have currently left university and am preparing to start creating art as a profession. I will be attempting to get a gallery show sometime in 2015 (I'll upload photos when it happens!) and hopefully be making a lot more artwork. If anyone wants to art trade or commission feel free to contact me via comments or notes. <3

I will be trying to update here more often and i'll mention again that my tumblr is http://space-pup.tumblr.com/
I tend to post more sketches there then I do here

Okay well I had to drop out of my last uni due to personal reasons but I just got accepted into a new and even better uni! so thats why I haven't uploaded anything in a while but I will get back on the trolley within a few weeks.

If anyone wants to art trade or request anything then feel free to comment or PM and also ya'll gotta follow me on tumblr (http://space-pup.tumblr.com/) I tend to upload more stuff there just because it's easier. hope everyone's doing well~

I just started my Tumblr page at

http://pup-hospital.tumblr.com/

add me if you're on there!

Hi everyone,

I have been trying to make an effort to draw and upload more. So I wanted to know if anyone wanted to do an art trade, if you do just PM me!

Got my application letter back a few days ago. Right after my computer died in lightning storm. Good news is i got into the National Art School sydney and am p excited. I'm taking a bit of a break at the moment but shall resume drawin' soon. ALthough the bad news is my big computers dead so i can't scan anything or do anything useful. But If anyone wants commissions etc just note me yeah?

My fellow yiff-yiffs,

you may have noticed that i have been uploading more lately, this is because i have been drawing more for my art course which i am doing. I am trying to focus on making more finished ART and UP loading it to this and various other outlets. If anyone would like an art trade or commision then feel free to ask and i shall do things, think of me as a father figure which you can go to for advice, money or just a warm fatherly embrace.

I have felt 2 harsh stings today. One from a tick. a little bug burrowing deep within my flesh. He was on my neck and I thought he was a scab so I pulled it off. Much to my horror it had legs and was writhing in pain. I still have part of him buried in me and without tweezers I feel very helpless, alone and afraid.

The second sting came from  yak who deleted one of my precious artworks which violated some silly outdated law. If I had actually done something wrong like post an annoying screenshot or copyrighted material then FINE I deserve to have it deleted but how will I replace the artwork which was lost? That was my only copy and I can't retrieve it.

This is a grim day for me. I want to be alone.

EDIT:

I went to the hospital today. The tic bite was infected and now I need a course of anti-biotics...I've never felt so alone. So defenseless. It's so easy to break our illusion of reality. one day everything just fine and then suddenly so tragedy like this happens. My life has come crumbling down, I'm crippled and hurt and nothing is left to hold onto. All that remains is the darkness, the sweet tender blanket which I can lose myself to...

the voice is silenced still. Is this what she was talking about? It seems too obvious,

theres too much I don't know, I need to come back with reinforcements so i can make it through alive. These creatures are dangerous. They see me as a threat but they don't understand that i'm trying to help. Maybe they do understand and just don't want it. In either case they're preventing their own salvation.



She spoke again, softly at first then slightly more frantic. There was chaos in the way she spoke but her words were soft and fair. I understood her but she spoke in a language which was incomprehensible. she spoke of her and her people, the way which they are and the way which I cannot help.
She is just young though, she could not understand what we can do, the sciences which humans have mastered, how could she understand what we have accomplished? I have to help them. I will return here. I promised her.


why does she keep talking why does she warn of of danger I feel like she's taking over, I want her gone please stop. I'll leave just let me go let me live letsdksadokjos
sad
sdsad
die0i
ie ik ,
ewo[REWEIRikowrrrrri oiewok

dicks. Another useless week.

I'm going to start learning to drive soon. I booked my knowledge test yesterday and I got the Road Users Handbook. I'm getting just as paranoid about it as I do about everything now-a-days. It keeps telling me how much of a dick i am for being young and how i'm causing all the accidents on the roads, and as much as i know that its the dicks and the frat boys and the jocks who are the ones raising those statistics, if someone tells you your doing something over and over again your going to start believing it.

This all goes back to my own mortality. I can't comprehend my own death and I try and rationalize it and shrug it off and sometimes I'm fine with it and I feel as though I could just lay down and die right there theres the other days where it scares me into a shivering wreck and I sit wraped up in my blanket hugging a pillow. I don't know how to get around the fear and I start fearing I never will. I'm sure I'll feel better tomorrow, I usually do.

The thought of knowing a mood will pass and the ability and convince yourself that your being delusional scares me just as much, I always thought that if I acknowledged something it would disappear. If I release it then it will just fly off and even if it returns again I would know how to release it but you learn that you're not in control of these things and that when you're in a mood that mood and mindset dosen't shift until it wants to.
I feel like there's multiple systems working within me. I've always felt like that and I think everyone feels like that and we've associated them with certain things like, your heart speaks, your brain speaks, your body speaks etc
Sometimes you can feel the right side of your brain working more over the left and vice versa. You can notice your muscles working more then your mind or your heart taking over from your conscious thoughts. I find it hard to find my identity amongst these things as they all specialize in different contexts. I want to know if I can control the states I go between or not. If its just the natural cycle of things or if its environmentally or otherwise influenced.

I have no idea what to expect from myself or what I can do really. Common sense changes between the mindsets, morals change. How can I be consistent unless I actively stick to a set of predetermined rules and ethics. I don't think I want to is what it boils down to. So why complain? I have no idea, i'm just confused and scared and anxious. This could all end tomorrow for all I know :0

Well I've decided that at this time in my life the best idea for me to attempt is a shitty webcomic because there really isn't enough out there to begin with.
My story, the one true path, follows my awesome character who i've done no development on and a coffee demon whos just a scribble. wacky.

Its on Webcomicsnation

http://www.webcomicsnation.com/happydeath/

Livejournal

http://furry-comics.livejournal.com/

And DrunkDuck

http://www.drunkduck.com/Furry_Comics/

If anyone knows any other free webcomic hosting sites which i can spam then let me know. Feel free to friend me on any site you see me on because that earns an instant re-friend and a 5 star rating if the site uses rating systems. *whore whore whore*

I'm sorry, for the lice and the love of the lasses.

Sky Large, Running Bee.

Don Fiasco


Today i saw the true face of evil. Red hands, Fluffy toes. A demon of hell to be sure. Scratching the porch and raiding the fridge. 'Lies for passion and passion for eyes!' Enthusiasm from the sorrid sailor and ticking tailor. And The As Vernia falling and climbing. Ring Ring

yo


again with the clash
enough with your

mash

p
o
t
a
t
0

eat with your teeth and not with your plums.

Fuck

I'm having serious drawing problems right now. I'm trying desperately not to draw the same things over and over but then it comes out like tits, not matter how hard I try I can't get it to work. HELP MEEEEEEE

Also, smoking. I've been smoking for a while now and I don't really feel like quitting. I'm not a heavy smoker, I roll my own and they have about a third as much tobacco in them as a regular cigarette and I have about 6 a day. I know its still rather terrible for me but ugh, everyone looks at me with such despair, such sadness. How, how, oh HOW could he do that to himself, just stop, please ;__; I can see it in their eyes and occasionally from their mouths. I like my smokes because firstly I have a tendency towards stress and they help relieve that, secondly I like the act of actually rolling them, makes me feel like a cowboy. Thirdly they make long waits like at train stations or waiting for late friends to arrive pass a lot easier and lastly I prefer smoking marijuana with tobacco over bongs or other crap. I know one day I'm going to want to stop and I'm not against it and when that time comes I'll be happy to do my darnedest to quit.

This has to be brought up because I'm poor at the moment so its one of those 'unneeded' expenses, i went a week without them and I definitely got withdrawal symptoms but it wasn't a big deal but everyone around me was so overly relieved. I know they just care and they're looking out for me and I appreciate that alot but I just want my right to do as I will, I feel guilty about disappointing them though, I don't feel its their fault that they're being over-protective, its such a big hate campaign over here, so big in fact that I occasionally have a cigarette just to spite the government (yeah, man). Meh I just want to go about my life without having to appologize for myself or have other people trying to guilt me out of a habit.

I should rant more often, its hardcore.

---

dash

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I want to work in an ice cream parlor, that'd be really cute.

Well i've been thinking about life and death and temporal events and the journeys and the places and I have come to some conclusions I suppose.
I remember the first time death scared me, I was 5 or 6, it was a cold night in my England home and I couldn't stop crying, I kept thinking about death, about everything ending. I was not brought up with any kind of religion or spiritual belief and so all that was in my mind was the end is the end. My mum came in and tried to guess what I was upset about for about half an hour, she finally came close enough with 'are you afraid of me and your father dying?' I wanted to correct her but I didn't want to take away her pride so I just agreed with that. she tried to comfort me but her advice was silly, the thought didn't resolve itself until I was about 14, I decided that the destination- nothingness, heaven, hell, reincarnation were obsolete and that what I did and how I enjoyed my time and journey were the important things.
I had a problem with accepting things as temporary though, I wanted to hold onto things, friends, possessions, moments, experiences. I didn't want anything to fall into the abyss and it wasn't till I was 17 and spent a few months being stoned that I gained an appreciation for the loss of things, to accept the moments and find the wealth within them. There's still a few things that I don't like being temporary like language, words, ownership or politics but I feel thats justified. I think of what will happen when I die and if by some miracle everything i've created in my life survived then in a few centuries language could be gone, words may mean different things, the politics will have changed, all our outlooks and opinions will be invalidated. I try to live a life that is timeless, a life that I could live now, a millennium ago or a millennium in the future.
This started coming to mind when I was watching a delightfully ignorant video about how bad homosexuality is made by our loving friends, the christians. I just think the idea of religion is to provide a quick fix solution to the troublesome thoughts of demise which can offer a wholesome guideline as to life as a group of people see righteous. I have no problem with that and i'm glad that people can find happiness down that avenue but I don't see how something which seems so innocent and well meaning can turn into something which people will kill for or die for or ignore reason for. the only constant in humanity's existence has been the human will and that means the gift of being able to take what you want from life. when people focus on the end, the destination, the HOPE of a heaven or a hell then they're throwing their lives away, theres so much that the world can offer, so much the brain can see and question and interpret that it seems totally insane to me to base your ideas off someone else's philosophies. I enjoy living and I enjoy thinking and I hate seeing people trying to make the world to conform into one mind. it scares me in fact. so if you've read this please just live the life you enjoy because thats the only way it should be.

I just realised i've been here for almost 3 years and haven't entered a single journal entry. Weird D:

Well all I was going to say was going to say was I cleared out my gallery, put alot of crap in scraps, left some of it for whatever reason.

also if anyone wants to do a trade or make a commission then i'm open for it, send me a note and i'll get back to you :3

Also a few links to incredibly awesome artists who i'm stealing from >.>

Zenmai - zenmai.kemono.cc/kitchen/kitchen.htm

Mr Dog - www.geocities.jp/mr_d_o_g/gallery.htm

KemoKemo - kemokemo.h.fc2.com/top.html (very NSFW)

Tsukurikake - www.tsukurikake.com/

theres more but they're the main ones I love, I highly recommend that you check them out and just keep clicking on things till you find art.