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Happy 30th and 10+ Years in the Fandom
General | Posted 5 months agoIt has been 3 or 4 days (depending on your timezones) since my Birthday - June 30th
It has been a really wild ride, when life has its ups and downs, it was you all that motivated me to keep on going. 30 years… well, welcome to the 30s haha… Life is gotta get more serious. But we can go through it together.
This is also marks my 10 years in the furry fandom. This blue wolf is still standing, and will always be. Wishing for another great year together within the fluffy and scalies world ;3
I've joined the fandom circa 2014/2015. It is all started when a friend of mine, whom I've just befriended in college, asked me to draw a furry. I conceptualized Laito Starr on the spot: blue wolf, based on my favorite animal and favorite color; the black hair has three color stripes: pink, purple, and lightblue. The marking on the face is kind off giving that mask illusion. The name comes from two historical dogs: Laika - Russian mongrel sent by the Soviets to space; and Balto, the wolf dog sled dog who delivered medicines across a harsh cold environment. He becomes the magician as to show my love for magic and playing cards; the suits on the back is that addition!
Along those 10 years in the Furry Fandom, can’t help but to also remember those frisky times x3
Meet with a lot of sexy studs that definitely took a liking to my fursona. And without further ado, they quickly get into action x3 A lot of those times you can find it while browsing in my gallery, and so goes for e621 - haha I got my own tag there.
My fursona then becomes reality when it is translated as a fursuit. I've just realized I haven't posted any single photos of my fursuit here!!! I try to find time to post them here. OR.... well, perhaps you can just see them here! - https://www.furtrack.com/index/character:laito
It has been a really wild ride, when life has its ups and downs, it was you all that motivated me to keep on going. 30 years… well, welcome to the 30s haha… Life is gotta get more serious. But we can go through it together.
This is also marks my 10 years in the furry fandom. This blue wolf is still standing, and will always be. Wishing for another great year together within the fluffy and scalies world ;3
I've joined the fandom circa 2014/2015. It is all started when a friend of mine, whom I've just befriended in college, asked me to draw a furry. I conceptualized Laito Starr on the spot: blue wolf, based on my favorite animal and favorite color; the black hair has three color stripes: pink, purple, and lightblue. The marking on the face is kind off giving that mask illusion. The name comes from two historical dogs: Laika - Russian mongrel sent by the Soviets to space; and Balto, the wolf dog sled dog who delivered medicines across a harsh cold environment. He becomes the magician as to show my love for magic and playing cards; the suits on the back is that addition!
Along those 10 years in the Furry Fandom, can’t help but to also remember those frisky times x3
Meet with a lot of sexy studs that definitely took a liking to my fursona. And without further ado, they quickly get into action x3 A lot of those times you can find it while browsing in my gallery, and so goes for e621 - haha I got my own tag there.
My fursona then becomes reality when it is translated as a fursuit. I've just realized I haven't posted any single photos of my fursuit here!!! I try to find time to post them here. OR.... well, perhaps you can just see them here! - https://www.furtrack.com/index/character:laito
LET US CONTINUE TO SHARE THE MAGIC~
Gallery Revival
General | Posted 11 months agoHello everyone!
It is now year 2025, and I am hoping that it is going to be another good year!
First of all, the gallery had been dead in the waters, so I am planning to bring it back alive. There are a lot of artworks I haven't post here - and they are dated years ago. While they have been posted on my social media, they aren't posted here yet. This year, I will post them here! I promise you they are going to be licking good~
Do look forward of what I have in store!
It is now year 2025, and I am hoping that it is going to be another good year!
First of all, the gallery had been dead in the waters, so I am planning to bring it back alive. There are a lot of artworks I haven't post here - and they are dated years ago. While they have been posted on my social media, they aren't posted here yet. This year, I will post them here! I promise you they are going to be licking good~
Do look forward of what I have in store!
Time Does Fly
General | Posted a year agoHello, hello!
This is Laito Starr reporting in! Oh, man - it has been a very long time since my last activity in here.
So let me just announce it:
Don't worry, I am still alive - it's just that, as time goes on, furries are more inclined towards other platforms, such as Telegram. It is that one messenger that almost every furries had been using then and now. Some artists set their channels in there, etc. And furries still actively using Twitter (which unfortunately rebranded as "X", since that manchild-lookalike billionaire decided to exterminate the blue bird for his obsession with the letter X). There's an alternative to Twitter, and that is BlueSky. I am on both Twitter and BlueSky, so please do follow those two if you like to get in touch with me.
As per artworks, yeah, you might have missed the playful me. Economy had gone crazy now, and the exchange rate for my country totally sucks - the currency in my country is weakening, hence making everything darn expensive. Ergo, this results of the lack of getting new comissions frequently. There are just loads of yiffy fun ideas, although so little money to support other artists to draw them. I still got a few left unposted here, so I will get into that soon.
Also, in case for some who haven't caught wind of me in social media - I DO have a fursuit. It has been since 2019, and I have fun making my fursona comes to life. Currently, it is on partials - I would like to go full when ready, and probably thinking of doing V2 of it. Photos of my fursuit can be found on FurTrack.
Alright, that's all I can report right now. So, talk to you soon again!
PS: Just hit 29 yesterday, so Happy Birthday to me - here's to hoping for another blast year!
This is Laito Starr reporting in! Oh, man - it has been a very long time since my last activity in here.
So let me just announce it:
Don't worry, I am still alive - it's just that, as time goes on, furries are more inclined towards other platforms, such as Telegram. It is that one messenger that almost every furries had been using then and now. Some artists set their channels in there, etc. And furries still actively using Twitter (which unfortunately rebranded as "X", since that manchild-lookalike billionaire decided to exterminate the blue bird for his obsession with the letter X). There's an alternative to Twitter, and that is BlueSky. I am on both Twitter and BlueSky, so please do follow those two if you like to get in touch with me.
As per artworks, yeah, you might have missed the playful me. Economy had gone crazy now, and the exchange rate for my country totally sucks - the currency in my country is weakening, hence making everything darn expensive. Ergo, this results of the lack of getting new comissions frequently. There are just loads of yiffy fun ideas, although so little money to support other artists to draw them. I still got a few left unposted here, so I will get into that soon.
Also, in case for some who haven't caught wind of me in social media - I DO have a fursuit. It has been since 2019, and I have fun making my fursona comes to life. Currently, it is on partials - I would like to go full when ready, and probably thinking of doing V2 of it. Photos of my fursuit can be found on FurTrack.
Alright, that's all I can report right now. So, talk to you soon again!
PS: Just hit 29 yesterday, so Happy Birthday to me - here's to hoping for another blast year!
RAFFLE YCH Post by Pinkutora
General | Posted 3 years agoThe Best of them All...
General | Posted 4 years agoFine, y’all have great suits that costs thousands of dollars, so you can judge other suits that is not even a thousand dollars
Everyone’s a critic in the furry fandom…
Guess it is a mistake of owning one
Why I came up with this now?
I was in a chat group in Telegram, when suddenly someone come to me saying "WTF is wrong with your suit?". "Excuse me?" I asked, and then he just say: "There is just something wrong". I said nothing wrong with it, but then he just asked me to wear glasses. Rude..... And that is "constructive critism"
Okay, I see what is going on here. So you all, those who get suits from famous fursuit makers (Mischief Makers, Dont Hug Cacti, you named it), you have paid thousands of dollars (much more important than buying cars or life necessities), got a very awesome outcome - and you all gets to judge those suiters who just only able to get suits from makers who are not very well know that costs not even reaching a thousand dollars. "Your muzzle crooked" "Eyes weird" Bla Bla bla, there goes them "mysteriously rich" furries judging your suits
Is there a FUCKING Universal standards of How much a suit must cost? Is there a BITCHIN Universal Standards of How a Suit should looked like? If there are, then you all can say those suits who are not made by famous makers and/or doesn't worth thousands dollars can go fuck themselves in a dumpster.
So, is this "family friendly" community called the furry fandom? It's more like a tournament of showing who's the boss.
Everyone’s a critic in the furry fandom…
Guess it is a mistake of owning one
Why I came up with this now?
I was in a chat group in Telegram, when suddenly someone come to me saying "WTF is wrong with your suit?". "Excuse me?" I asked, and then he just say: "There is just something wrong". I said nothing wrong with it, but then he just asked me to wear glasses. Rude..... And that is "constructive critism"
Okay, I see what is going on here. So you all, those who get suits from famous fursuit makers (Mischief Makers, Dont Hug Cacti, you named it), you have paid thousands of dollars (much more important than buying cars or life necessities), got a very awesome outcome - and you all gets to judge those suiters who just only able to get suits from makers who are not very well know that costs not even reaching a thousand dollars. "Your muzzle crooked" "Eyes weird" Bla Bla bla, there goes them "mysteriously rich" furries judging your suits
Is there a FUCKING Universal standards of How much a suit must cost? Is there a BITCHIN Universal Standards of How a Suit should looked like? If there are, then you all can say those suits who are not made by famous makers and/or doesn't worth thousands dollars can go fuck themselves in a dumpster.
So, is this "family friendly" community called the furry fandom? It's more like a tournament of showing who's the boss.
Another Mishaps
General | Posted 4 years agoSo... where should I start? A friend comes forward to me today that people just grew tired of me because they've been giving me advice and I just never take it to heart and just shoo them away. From 2015 till now, I have still had that trust issues: I really find it hard to trust my own rather than trusting other people. It was because I was in a relationship doomed to fail, and it did. Since then, every people I talked with, I just don't be so friendly at all, like I go monitor their moves and start thinking anything bad. Slowly, I've been trying to remove this issue from myself, but then it appeared again recently....
Because again, I got betrayed by the person I thought it is a good friend. I took slots in his line of commissions, and because I really got swarmed with work, I completely forgot to send him the description, and eventually, I quickly get removed without a warning. After realizing that I forgot, I tried to reach him out, but what do I get? I got blocked everywhere: FB, Twitter, and even Nintendo. So my last straw is contacting him through e-mail, and that's when he finally had it: he told me that I simply using the long-time relationship to stall the line, and I keep on using it. I denied on that accusation, and I tried to told him that I really forgot because of my real life duties. He doesn't want to listened to me and finally he told me to fucked off. Yeah..... long time friend and dependable artist just gone in an instant....
For a year, I've been haunted despite I tried to let it go. The loss is just too great, and I start to have another trust issues again. Life really is a bitch.... So, that is why I don't have anything good to show - it's nothing but bad stuffs and it just keeps on coming. And also, I just feel like everything I do is nothing but wrong, even when I try do things right. I am trying to be good, but it just I make everything worse...
I just don't know what to do now? What should I do to make things better..... How to really remove this trust issues? How can I really be acceptable?
Because again, I got betrayed by the person I thought it is a good friend. I took slots in his line of commissions, and because I really got swarmed with work, I completely forgot to send him the description, and eventually, I quickly get removed without a warning. After realizing that I forgot, I tried to reach him out, but what do I get? I got blocked everywhere: FB, Twitter, and even Nintendo. So my last straw is contacting him through e-mail, and that's when he finally had it: he told me that I simply using the long-time relationship to stall the line, and I keep on using it. I denied on that accusation, and I tried to told him that I really forgot because of my real life duties. He doesn't want to listened to me and finally he told me to fucked off. Yeah..... long time friend and dependable artist just gone in an instant....
For a year, I've been haunted despite I tried to let it go. The loss is just too great, and I start to have another trust issues again. Life really is a bitch.... So, that is why I don't have anything good to show - it's nothing but bad stuffs and it just keeps on coming. And also, I just feel like everything I do is nothing but wrong, even when I try do things right. I am trying to be good, but it just I make everything worse...
I just don't know what to do now? What should I do to make things better..... How to really remove this trust issues? How can I really be acceptable?
Happy Birthday To Me
General | Posted 4 years agoWell, by the time I am writing this, it already passed my special day, but....
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
Now that I am 26 years old, and keep on enjoying life~
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
Now that I am 26 years old, and keep on enjoying life~
Reasons for Silence
General | Posted 4 years agoHey guys, you are probably wondering why there are seemed to be a lack of activities on my page. Well, I am here to inform you all that I am doing well - I am mostly will be hanging around in Telegram, seeing all the yiffs shared in channels and chat groups. Do not worry, I am fine, and still alive. Alright, back to the topic.
Currently, there are no more new stuff coming, as..... I am still feeling anxious about commissioning anyone anymore. Day by day, I feel like I am so discouraged on approaching people to commish with me, or asking artists whether they are open or not, and other things. I am still hurt at that moment I lost a dependable artist. You might see this as I am really attached to this artist, but you will know how it felt when they decided to dump you after long years you have been commissioning them. Also, combine the fact that some old friends decided to just silenced me out, only reading my messages and no more replies. After that incident, I basically just lost it, and I lost a few chat groups - get kicked out because of my destructive behavior OR voluntary let myself out. Till now, I am trying to fix things, but it seems it still doesn't work. I am so feeling that maybe this is the time I am finally throwing in the towel and letting off all the hooks.
This is the reason I am being silent. There is a reason I don't like to go out and approach people.... I just got nowhere to go without making a mess. With so many familiars decided to shut me out, and deep anxiety over everything, there is no way for me to bring things back to normal - I give up trying....
I am not sure what am I going to do anymore :(
Currently, there are no more new stuff coming, as..... I am still feeling anxious about commissioning anyone anymore. Day by day, I feel like I am so discouraged on approaching people to commish with me, or asking artists whether they are open or not, and other things. I am still hurt at that moment I lost a dependable artist. You might see this as I am really attached to this artist, but you will know how it felt when they decided to dump you after long years you have been commissioning them. Also, combine the fact that some old friends decided to just silenced me out, only reading my messages and no more replies. After that incident, I basically just lost it, and I lost a few chat groups - get kicked out because of my destructive behavior OR voluntary let myself out. Till now, I am trying to fix things, but it seems it still doesn't work. I am so feeling that maybe this is the time I am finally throwing in the towel and letting off all the hooks.
This is the reason I am being silent. There is a reason I don't like to go out and approach people.... I just got nowhere to go without making a mess. With so many familiars decided to shut me out, and deep anxiety over everything, there is no way for me to bring things back to normal - I give up trying....
I am not sure what am I going to do anymore :(
Blocking Issues
General | Posted 5 years agohttps://www.furaffinity.net/journal/9363173/ - past journal about it
I decided to bring this up because I just have another case of people just block me without I even realized it. And what is the reason for blocking: over a mistake that can be easily brushed off. Jeez, why most people these days easily block others over mistakes that can be resolved privately and peacefully? Oh, I forgot to mention about blocking because of the contents you are having (simply block instead of just talk with me peacefully and don't bother looking at those contents).
And to clarify about my blocking:
I blocked people only IF they really grind me in some ways, like:
1. Persistent asking to liking kinks that I don't like
2. Betrayed me for whatever reasons
3. If people are merely complete trolls and unreasonable.
4. BOTS and SPAMMERS, obviously.
5. Giving the wrong first impression (such as, creepy profile pictures, sending memes instantly, etc.)
If it's just small mistakes, like accidentally said something wrong or unnecessary debates or whatever, we can try to talk things out and resolve things. Instant blocking simply means you are just trying to get away from it.
All right, that's all I can say about this matter. Let's try make it a good environment.
I decided to bring this up because I just have another case of people just block me without I even realized it. And what is the reason for blocking: over a mistake that can be easily brushed off. Jeez, why most people these days easily block others over mistakes that can be resolved privately and peacefully? Oh, I forgot to mention about blocking because of the contents you are having (simply block instead of just talk with me peacefully and don't bother looking at those contents).
And to clarify about my blocking:
I blocked people only IF they really grind me in some ways, like:
1. Persistent asking to liking kinks that I don't like
2. Betrayed me for whatever reasons
3. If people are merely complete trolls and unreasonable.
4. BOTS and SPAMMERS, obviously.
5. Giving the wrong first impression (such as, creepy profile pictures, sending memes instantly, etc.)
If it's just small mistakes, like accidentally said something wrong or unnecessary debates or whatever, we can try to talk things out and resolve things. Instant blocking simply means you are just trying to get away from it.
All right, that's all I can say about this matter. Let's try make it a good environment.
Need Help - Goo Symbiotes Experts
General | Posted 5 years agoI really need help in looking for artists that at least able to do goo symbiote stuffs. Looking for a price range around 30-60$
I appreciate the help if there are any suggestions you can provide.
I appreciate the help if there are any suggestions you can provide.
Fix A Large Rift
General | Posted 5 years agoWell, I was back again after disabling my account. It is really a bad habit and I keep on doing it. It was a really bad year for all of us, especially on my. October was a complete wreck, and then the beginnings of November also a big wreck....
There are always bad shits keep on following me.... and I unprepared of every bad mojo that is brought to me....
I made a lot of mistakes..... friendship ends, trusts broken, marked as an attention whore... named it everything bad..... there are just a lot that has been happening. By the time you realized what has happened, it is already too late....
Everything that has been happening right now is all because of that one fateful day when someone I really looked up too decided to ditched me and reveal the truth - setting off a chain reaction of bad things...... well, domino effect’s a bitch, isn’t it?
I don’t know if you all grew tired of me keep on breaking down and such, but if some of you do, I a understand and I deserve it. The door is there for you if you want to leave. But, if you still stay, then I thank you for being really patient for me.
There are just too much rift that I have to fix. And I don’t know how to start.... not to mention that my trust issues had grown even worse.
There are always bad shits keep on following me.... and I unprepared of every bad mojo that is brought to me....
I made a lot of mistakes..... friendship ends, trusts broken, marked as an attention whore... named it everything bad..... there are just a lot that has been happening. By the time you realized what has happened, it is already too late....
Everything that has been happening right now is all because of that one fateful day when someone I really looked up too decided to ditched me and reveal the truth - setting off a chain reaction of bad things...... well, domino effect’s a bitch, isn’t it?
I don’t know if you all grew tired of me keep on breaking down and such, but if some of you do, I a understand and I deserve it. The door is there for you if you want to leave. But, if you still stay, then I thank you for being really patient for me.
There are just too much rift that I have to fix. And I don’t know how to start.... not to mention that my trust issues had grown even worse.
Deep Apology
General | Posted 5 years agoHey, everyone.
In the last three days, I deactivated my account in the midst of my heavy emotional breakdown again. Before I did that, I was making a statement that I want to leave the fandom. But it turns out, I just really can't do it. I was trying to not looking back, but I did in the act of remorse and trying to take a look one last time before I left it for good. After hearing about this announcement, several people are trying to convince me to stay. *sigh* I was not in control of myself, that I pushed them away and insists on leaving. Someting just hit me..... Looking back again at my sona and my other characters..... I feel like I am letting them down when I said it. At that point, I drop down in tears and berates myself of what have I've done. IF I really left the fandom for good, then that will upset several people that have actually cared for me, and destroying everything that I have worked for years.
So.... to know how it is started, this is a bit of a summary:
https://www.furaffinity.net/journal/9528875/ - Three months ago, I finally got blocked by an old friend who is also my dependable artist, over because I forgot to send him the necessary artwork description because of real-life duties. I could have gotten any warning and such, but it never happened - I am simply get removed and ghosted by him. Having been blocked everywhere, I contact him through e-mail, and he finally tell the bitter truth: he doesn't want to see me anymore. From that moment, I totally lost it. I shut myself from everyone.
So after a few months, which is now... I was in a group, and when I saw the artwork that is shared is a piece done by the artist that had blocked me, I lost it again. I simply react with a sad emoticon, and everyone in the group quikcly assumes I am policing the contents for the group. When I raged quit, the admin quickly contact me and said I will be on a month time-out. From that moment, I lost it again, and this time, it is way worse than before - wanting to quit the fandom and give away everything that I acquired and worked for. I just lost faith in the fandom, as I think they simply care for things that satisfies them rather than try to confort someone. They don't care if something happened between me with the artists, but only care if the artwork turned them on. "It still the same till now," I thought. All the pain and suffering that I've encountered actually piled on, and all of it completely encouraged me to quit.
Several people that still cared for me actually did come to me, and convinced me to stay. It is a complete struggle for them to really convinced me, and I finally listened....... after I made a lot of damages around me. That announcenment that I wanted to sell everything caused a rift between me and my fursuit maker - several groups kicked me out because I am unstable and higher chance they won't have me back. Looking at the damages I made, I sat and think.... "What have I've done?"..... I kept saying to myself and to anyone that this thing won't happened again, but it did...... I totally ashamed for letting this to happen. My friends comfort me and suggests me to try to relax and chill, and besides.... we are also facing a pandemic that had made everyone on edge.
Everyone, I am terribly sorry of what I've done in the previous days. I really really sorry.......
So what happens now?
I am slowly healing myself, piece by piece fixing what I've damaged, and be patient. Someday, I may be forgiven of what I've done. For now, I have to accept of what has been done... accept it and move on. Move on....... I really hope I can really do it.
In the last three days, I deactivated my account in the midst of my heavy emotional breakdown again. Before I did that, I was making a statement that I want to leave the fandom. But it turns out, I just really can't do it. I was trying to not looking back, but I did in the act of remorse and trying to take a look one last time before I left it for good. After hearing about this announcement, several people are trying to convince me to stay. *sigh* I was not in control of myself, that I pushed them away and insists on leaving. Someting just hit me..... Looking back again at my sona and my other characters..... I feel like I am letting them down when I said it. At that point, I drop down in tears and berates myself of what have I've done. IF I really left the fandom for good, then that will upset several people that have actually cared for me, and destroying everything that I have worked for years.
So.... to know how it is started, this is a bit of a summary:
https://www.furaffinity.net/journal/9528875/ - Three months ago, I finally got blocked by an old friend who is also my dependable artist, over because I forgot to send him the necessary artwork description because of real-life duties. I could have gotten any warning and such, but it never happened - I am simply get removed and ghosted by him. Having been blocked everywhere, I contact him through e-mail, and he finally tell the bitter truth: he doesn't want to see me anymore. From that moment, I totally lost it. I shut myself from everyone.
So after a few months, which is now... I was in a group, and when I saw the artwork that is shared is a piece done by the artist that had blocked me, I lost it again. I simply react with a sad emoticon, and everyone in the group quikcly assumes I am policing the contents for the group. When I raged quit, the admin quickly contact me and said I will be on a month time-out. From that moment, I lost it again, and this time, it is way worse than before - wanting to quit the fandom and give away everything that I acquired and worked for. I just lost faith in the fandom, as I think they simply care for things that satisfies them rather than try to confort someone. They don't care if something happened between me with the artists, but only care if the artwork turned them on. "It still the same till now," I thought. All the pain and suffering that I've encountered actually piled on, and all of it completely encouraged me to quit.
Several people that still cared for me actually did come to me, and convinced me to stay. It is a complete struggle for them to really convinced me, and I finally listened....... after I made a lot of damages around me. That announcenment that I wanted to sell everything caused a rift between me and my fursuit maker - several groups kicked me out because I am unstable and higher chance they won't have me back. Looking at the damages I made, I sat and think.... "What have I've done?"..... I kept saying to myself and to anyone that this thing won't happened again, but it did...... I totally ashamed for letting this to happen. My friends comfort me and suggests me to try to relax and chill, and besides.... we are also facing a pandemic that had made everyone on edge.
Everyone, I am terribly sorry of what I've done in the previous days. I really really sorry.......
So what happens now?
I am slowly healing myself, piece by piece fixing what I've damaged, and be patient. Someday, I may be forgiven of what I've done. For now, I have to accept of what has been done... accept it and move on. Move on....... I really hope I can really do it.
Thoughts of Leaving
General | Posted 5 years agoHey guys,
For the past few months, I faced a lot of shits, and till now, there are more and more problems that keep coming at me. Totally makes it worse, especially with the pandemic that keeps going on. Real-life is shit, and then the fictional fandom had been treating me with more shit. So yeah, I am thinking of throwing the towel - I am planning to leave the fandom for good.
After I done the calculations and considerations, I will start off the sale of my sona and my OCs, along with all the artworks that I've got. I am sure there will be others interested on being me.
Will people gotta missed me if I am gone? Probably not... so no one cares....
This is probably journal you will ever see
For the past few months, I faced a lot of shits, and till now, there are more and more problems that keep coming at me. Totally makes it worse, especially with the pandemic that keeps going on. Real-life is shit, and then the fictional fandom had been treating me with more shit. So yeah, I am thinking of throwing the towel - I am planning to leave the fandom for good.
After I done the calculations and considerations, I will start off the sale of my sona and my OCs, along with all the artworks that I've got. I am sure there will be others interested on being me.
Will people gotta missed me if I am gone? Probably not... so no one cares....
This is probably journal you will ever see
Happy Birthday Laito Starr
General | Posted 5 years agoSo today is June 30, 2020.... so it means..... HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!
I am officially 25 years old - already a quarter-mile through life.
So happy that I am still alive, strong standing, and still pursuing my passion. Even though the pandemic still brings fear out there, we have to stay strong and cherish life.
So, Happy Birthday, Laito Starr ;3
I am officially 25 years old - already a quarter-mile through life.
So happy that I am still alive, strong standing, and still pursuing my passion. Even though the pandemic still brings fear out there, we have to stay strong and cherish life.
So, Happy Birthday, Laito Starr ;3
It is Time for a Change
General | Posted 5 years agoHey, guys.... It's me again...
I was hiatus for three days due to something that had happened to me, which is totally depressing...
So, here is the situation: The artist I decided to have a commission with, had decided to remove me from the waiting list without warning because I fail to send him the description. It is totally fair, as the artist has a queue, but I really forget to send the description because I am trouble with a lot of real life problems - very stressful problems and peers pressure. I have tried to explain the situation to the artist, sending apology messages and a chance to be in the list again, but the artist never read the messages. A few days later, I found out he had blocked me. That is the moment I finally blew it. I vent about it on everywhere. This made some people decided to stand up for me in the wrong way, thus attacking the artist without even me asking them too. The artist (who is also my longtime friend and the first fur I met during a first furmeet) got fed up with my "constant" apology and the attacks, that he finally decided to end everything - he doesn't want to deal with me for good. I also end up unfriending two furs for this (one fur who is a fan of his artworks and his post, and one fur who always commission him for a mini-comic series for a FB page) - unfriending because I don't want to be reminded. This really blows me hard.... Not only that I have lost a dependable artist, I also lost a long-time friend.
I was so devastated, that my emotions start to flood me, filling me with nothing of self-guilt. If I didn't forget those details, none of these would have happened. I blasted almost everyone I met with all negativity, and I went suicidal. I know it must be totally wrong to kill yourself over this matter, but I was really lost it.... It took a very along time and a restless night to finally calm myself, and burst into tears....
A few of my best friends have scolded me for these, of why I wanted to kill myself over the loss of the said artist. This best friend is a victim of this artist, not in a matter of artwork, but mostly anything. I won't go into a lot of details, but basically my best friend advice me that I stick with a way better friendship.
So, there ya go.... that's the story of my disappearance over the past three days.
Currently, I am in the process of slowly healing myself over this incident, and let it go. Some of the arts I have from this artist.... I have to keep them as it is my money in those arts, and I don't want them to go to waste. I would go around and see who can replace him - some artists who are affordable and way even better, and worth the time. And also, I should be aware if my turn is up - prep the refs before the artist even asked first or something.
Friends come and go... even for the longtime ones...... I guess now it is my "Death" card.
Anyways, this is my report over my disappearance. Talk to you all later
I was hiatus for three days due to something that had happened to me, which is totally depressing...
So, here is the situation: The artist I decided to have a commission with, had decided to remove me from the waiting list without warning because I fail to send him the description. It is totally fair, as the artist has a queue, but I really forget to send the description because I am trouble with a lot of real life problems - very stressful problems and peers pressure. I have tried to explain the situation to the artist, sending apology messages and a chance to be in the list again, but the artist never read the messages. A few days later, I found out he had blocked me. That is the moment I finally blew it. I vent about it on everywhere. This made some people decided to stand up for me in the wrong way, thus attacking the artist without even me asking them too. The artist (who is also my longtime friend and the first fur I met during a first furmeet) got fed up with my "constant" apology and the attacks, that he finally decided to end everything - he doesn't want to deal with me for good. I also end up unfriending two furs for this (one fur who is a fan of his artworks and his post, and one fur who always commission him for a mini-comic series for a FB page) - unfriending because I don't want to be reminded. This really blows me hard.... Not only that I have lost a dependable artist, I also lost a long-time friend.
I was so devastated, that my emotions start to flood me, filling me with nothing of self-guilt. If I didn't forget those details, none of these would have happened. I blasted almost everyone I met with all negativity, and I went suicidal. I know it must be totally wrong to kill yourself over this matter, but I was really lost it.... It took a very along time and a restless night to finally calm myself, and burst into tears....
A few of my best friends have scolded me for these, of why I wanted to kill myself over the loss of the said artist. This best friend is a victim of this artist, not in a matter of artwork, but mostly anything. I won't go into a lot of details, but basically my best friend advice me that I stick with a way better friendship.
So, there ya go.... that's the story of my disappearance over the past three days.
Currently, I am in the process of slowly healing myself over this incident, and let it go. Some of the arts I have from this artist.... I have to keep them as it is my money in those arts, and I don't want them to go to waste. I would go around and see who can replace him - some artists who are affordable and way even better, and worth the time. And also, I should be aware if my turn is up - prep the refs before the artist even asked first or something.
Friends come and go... even for the longtime ones...... I guess now it is my "Death" card.
Anyways, this is my report over my disappearance. Talk to you all later
Stalked by Enemies
General | Posted 6 years agoIn Telegram, I’ve been into a few groups, but then there is one main problem I usually encounter.
When the time that you feel safe and free in some group, suddenly you see a notification of a member newly joins the group - and that person, is someone you hate (basically a guy that treats you like shit, act dorky in front of a shitty attitude, and decides to block you for stupid reasons)
I don’t know what the fuck am I supposed to do? If I rant in the group, everyone will think I am the bad guy. If I keep silent, I just being sitting duck and get that really bitter feeling, seeing how he is being so friendly to win hearts.
Sometimes I get the feeling that he secretly follows me and wanted to ruin my time again and again, until I surrender to him.
It is just so frustrating! At this moment, all I have to do is simply leave the group where he is in, despite that group already suits your taste.
It has already been three groups where I feel like I am home, but when he appears, I am no longer home...
And now he is starting to enter more groups where I am in, and I can only, sit and watch, see how he gives a speech of how perfect his life is, flirting with other members.
Analogy of fighting against your demons, perhaps...
When the time that you feel safe and free in some group, suddenly you see a notification of a member newly joins the group - and that person, is someone you hate (basically a guy that treats you like shit, act dorky in front of a shitty attitude, and decides to block you for stupid reasons)
I don’t know what the fuck am I supposed to do? If I rant in the group, everyone will think I am the bad guy. If I keep silent, I just being sitting duck and get that really bitter feeling, seeing how he is being so friendly to win hearts.
Sometimes I get the feeling that he secretly follows me and wanted to ruin my time again and again, until I surrender to him.
It is just so frustrating! At this moment, all I have to do is simply leave the group where he is in, despite that group already suits your taste.
It has already been three groups where I feel like I am home, but when he appears, I am no longer home...
And now he is starting to enter more groups where I am in, and I can only, sit and watch, see how he gives a speech of how perfect his life is, flirting with other members.
Analogy of fighting against your demons, perhaps...
Happy New Year
General | Posted 6 years agoTo everyone who are seeing this,
HAPPY NEW YEAR 2020 ;3
HAPPY NEW YEAR 2020 ;3
Blocked without You Realized IT
General | Posted 6 years agoI was browsing one time, and when I am about to give Favs to this submission...... I got that message: You can’t favourites a submission from an user who had blocked you
I don’t understand...... I never done anything wrong...... It is just trying to show appreaciation towards your gallery.......
This might be applied to some others out there
Did I do something wrong here? Does all the bad rumors start to spread and believe in lies and never want to seek the truth? Is everything I do are completely wrong?
Maybe it is time for me to leave for good.....
I don’t understand...... I never done anything wrong...... It is just trying to show appreaciation towards your gallery.......
This might be applied to some others out there
Did I do something wrong here? Does all the bad rumors start to spread and believe in lies and never want to seek the truth? Is everything I do are completely wrong?
Maybe it is time for me to leave for good.....
Merry Christmas ;3
General | Posted 6 years agoTo all my beautiful and handsome spectators here,MERRY CHRISTMAS! HAVE A WONDERFUL HAPPY HOLIDAYS!TRUST NO GROUP CHATS
General | Posted 6 years agoThe reason I said this because I’ve been to a lot of groups in instant messaging, and most of them had been misleading from the purposes the group are made in the first place. These are a few lists I can think off, based from experience:
- A group which is meant for an animator and modeler to showcase his work update and Patreon stuffs, turned into a channel for a member in the group, who is a popfur, who shares how perfect his life is - technologies he craves (ironically no Switch), and all the good art he got showcasing his so “sexy” ordinary sona.
- A group which is meant to discuss about scalies, turned into a group of circle jerks - only important people can talk, while the rest are simply ignored. They simply start to dislike you from the start, and worse, they simply blocked you for no reason.
- A group which is amongst your local furs, but it’s all nonsense talk rather than a discussion
- A group of many groups - Furry Valley, known for sharing a lot of yiff pictures and videos, but never allows any members to give credits (even tagging a link is considered “advertising”), wish disrespectful admins and constant spamming
So, whenever you enter in groups and start feel comfortable, think again.
Advise: know your admins well - as in pay attention if he/she does a good job and not abusing the power - share related stuffs (unrelated still okay, but as long it is not to the point of changing the purpose of the group) - be vigilant
- A group which is meant for an animator and modeler to showcase his work update and Patreon stuffs, turned into a channel for a member in the group, who is a popfur, who shares how perfect his life is - technologies he craves (ironically no Switch), and all the good art he got showcasing his so “sexy” ordinary sona.
- A group which is meant to discuss about scalies, turned into a group of circle jerks - only important people can talk, while the rest are simply ignored. They simply start to dislike you from the start, and worse, they simply blocked you for no reason.
- A group which is amongst your local furs, but it’s all nonsense talk rather than a discussion
- A group of many groups - Furry Valley, known for sharing a lot of yiff pictures and videos, but never allows any members to give credits (even tagging a link is considered “advertising”), wish disrespectful admins and constant spamming
So, whenever you enter in groups and start feel comfortable, think again.
Advise: know your admins well - as in pay attention if he/she does a good job and not abusing the power - share related stuffs (unrelated still okay, but as long it is not to the point of changing the purpose of the group) - be vigilant
HappY Halloweeen
General | Posted 6 years agoHappy Halloween
Let all those Jack'O'Lantern lit up, wear costumes, eat candies, and have the spookiest night ever.
Be sure to follow the traditions of Halloween, or Sam will come to punish you D:
Let all those Jack'O'Lantern lit up, wear costumes, eat candies, and have the spookiest night ever.
Be sure to follow the traditions of Halloween, or Sam will come to punish you D:
Back in the Box
General | Posted 6 years agoSo, I've been going all around, meeting with a lot of new furs and scalies, but......
I don't know, I think I found them to marked me as a weird guy.
It is just hurting that you are being nice, and they simply just blocked you.
Group chats that becomes circles jerks - as in only friends talking and others will be completely ignored. People that blocked you and being in the same room with them, having that squeezing and prickly feeling everytime they act very very dorky and nice to others....
Maybe it's time I stop reaching out for people anymore.....
Being single is good I guess...
What is the meaning of "furry fandom" being your extended family, and then you get people that treat you like crap if you are not on their standards? It's no longer a living in a home, but staying alive in a faction society.
I don't know, I think I found them to marked me as a weird guy.
It is just hurting that you are being nice, and they simply just blocked you.
Group chats that becomes circles jerks - as in only friends talking and others will be completely ignored. People that blocked you and being in the same room with them, having that squeezing and prickly feeling everytime they act very very dorky and nice to others....
Maybe it's time I stop reaching out for people anymore.....
Being single is good I guess...
What is the meaning of "furry fandom" being your extended family, and then you get people that treat you like crap if you are not on their standards? It's no longer a living in a home, but staying alive in a faction society.
The Plague of Basic Furs
General | Posted 6 years agoIt’s sad to hear that the case of basic furs are still on going: mostly stealing other people’s fursona pictures for RP purpose, committing identity theft. In results, some of the victims <mostly well known art collectors of well known people> ends up closing their windows for splitting art anymore. There is an urge of me wanting to point fingers to every random people with no profile pictures out there, but what can I do? I simply a bystander in a scuffle
Does making fursona that hard for you, basic furs?
- Can’t draw, find free bases out there for you to color and design OR get help from willing artists
- Can’t pay, still find free bases and you’re done, dont depends on adoptables
- Can’t do both, get a good written description of your sona
Don’t simply just take and use.
Always remember to credit, and say you have no association with the main guy
Does making fursona that hard for you, basic furs?
- Can’t draw, find free bases out there for you to color and design OR get help from willing artists
- Can’t pay, still find free bases and you’re done, dont depends on adoptables
- Can’t do both, get a good written description of your sona
Don’t simply just take and use.
Always remember to credit, and say you have no association with the main guy
R.I.P. My Pet
General | Posted 6 years agoI just can’t express how I feel today......
I woke up today, find him just fine, licking my face and brush his furs, and this afternoon.... he passed away....
I cried, seeing his lifeless body just laying there. I didn’t have the chance to spend time with him....
It breaks my heart as I lower him in his burial site......
I am sorry, Balto...... I should have been there for you..... You’ve been my friend for thirteen years ;(
Rest in Peace - gone, but not forgotten, your paws will always remain a mark in my heart.
At least you are now in a better place.....
I woke up today, find him just fine, licking my face and brush his furs, and this afternoon.... he passed away....
I cried, seeing his lifeless body just laying there. I didn’t have the chance to spend time with him....
It breaks my heart as I lower him in his burial site......
I am sorry, Balto...... I should have been there for you..... You’ve been my friend for thirteen years ;(
Rest in Peace - gone, but not forgotten, your paws will always remain a mark in my heart.
At least you are now in a better place.....
Feeling Better For Now
General | Posted 6 years agoIt has been a few hours in sorrow after the incident,
I have finally calmed down....
I still have friends that still had faith in me, and I should go on to keep them close. There are just a lot of rude people out there, and should just ignore those who didn’t respect my kindness and good intentions
I also write this journal as a deepest apology to those who think I am diving into the specism charade towards scalies. One friend said to me: there will always be bad apples, and you shouldn’t take good care of them. I shouldn’t hate one whole species because of a few individuals who treated me bad.
I also intended this to my friends who dropped by to comfort me. I like to thank you for still supporting me, both new and old friends, and how I should have listen to you all instead of lingering over mistakes I never did. I am hoping that we are still remained friends in the future, and you will forgive me for what Ive done
In a few moments, I will return mosts of my pictures with scalies back from the scraps back to the gallery, and return back to normal. I would resume back the activities as usual.
This is Laito Starr, signing off
I have finally calmed down....
I still have friends that still had faith in me, and I should go on to keep them close. There are just a lot of rude people out there, and should just ignore those who didn’t respect my kindness and good intentions
I also write this journal as a deepest apology to those who think I am diving into the specism charade towards scalies. One friend said to me: there will always be bad apples, and you shouldn’t take good care of them. I shouldn’t hate one whole species because of a few individuals who treated me bad.
I also intended this to my friends who dropped by to comfort me. I like to thank you for still supporting me, both new and old friends, and how I should have listen to you all instead of lingering over mistakes I never did. I am hoping that we are still remained friends in the future, and you will forgive me for what Ive done
In a few moments, I will return mosts of my pictures with scalies back from the scraps back to the gallery, and return back to normal. I would resume back the activities as usual.
This is Laito Starr, signing off
