Hey guys

I've decided to stop giving out my Skype so freely. Keep getting spam messages. I think its a dying standard anyway.

If you want to start a conversation with me, I advise you can write to me on Telegram using: @RukaCat

I'll respond to these messages as I get them.

his housemate found his laptop

Mrowmrow I'ma cat

Wow man...just wow.

I've never had so much god damn fun in my life. Good people, awesome hotel...your fucking foodstuffs on sale!

I extend a warm thankyou to  elvinoz and  captainotter for accompanying me and  skooma-addict on this wonderful journey (although me and Skooma did spend 2 nights in NYC before the con). Seriously, I haven't been overseas since my parents took me to Hong Kong when I was 12 (and what is this?)

I extend another thankyou to the con staff who managed to co-ordinate an event with over 3800 furs! God damn, guys. If only you guys knew what the turnout was over here for an event like this...

Also wanted to thank the  donthugcacti crew for the DHC photoshoot.

And I especially wanted to thank everyone over there who helped make me feel welcome to the con, as well as the culture.  slushie-nyappy-paws falaeolius ctcwired ImaginarySkye sparklepaws, as well as the dinner crew from our trip to Chili's ( and ). I'm still trying to tag more people so if you feel like you need a mention, let me know D:

The one thing I'm going to miss from the con and the states, besides all your faces, is your god damn food and table service D:. I had some of the best food I've ever had in a restaurant. Some of the best, most cheesy, fattening, crispy fried food I've ever laid my tongue on! Gaah I miss that!

And almost being run over a few times trying to cross your roads...

Shamefully, I didn't get a lot of photos, or any really. I was too busy having fun, both in and out of fursuit, to take photos of the con and the experience. Maybe next time, when I have a proper camera, I'll get some photos.

I look forward to coming back to the States and seeing you all again!

~Arrival and Departure:
Arriving from New York on the Thursday, leaving on the Sunday

~Staying at:
Hyatt Regency O' Hare

~How are you traveling?
Planes…lots of planes. There may be a car involved in getting me to Melbourne Airport

~Who are you rooming with?
 skooma-addict

~Where will you be? What is the best way to find you?
Everywhere. Telephone contact (I'll have a local US number to get in touch on)

~Who will you be with?
Anyone. Possibly  skooma-addict for some of the time, but I’ll be roaming around

~Which suit(s) will you be bringing?
My  donthugcacti suit

~Do you do free art?
Sure! Stick figure furry porn alright with you?

~What is your gender?
I have the D

~How old are you?
Uhm…2-21? ^^; (sshhh…)

~How tall are you?
5’ 7"

~Can I talk to you?
Of course not! Why would you want to do that?! :P

Yeah, I guess you can if you reaally want to.

Seriously, talk to me :D

~Can I hug and/or snuggle you?
Uhhh…hugs I’m okay with, but don’t make me bring a taser. I have a partner

~Are you nice?
Nah, I'm a real asshole. Everyone says so.
Of course I fucking am nice!

~Are you "cliquey"
Say wha?

~If I see you, how can I get your attention?
“Ruka”, “Rukie”, “Foxcat”, “Dipshit”, “Haruka” or “Fagcat” are perfectly legitimate ways to address me in public xD (not so much dipshit, though)

~Are you fursuiting?
Of course. I gotta keep warm somehow

~Can I ask you to dance with me during the dances?
Uhh…I’d rather dance with my partner

~Can I buy you drinks?
If you want. If anyone asks, I’m 21

~Do you attend parties?
Not really, but I'll come to a few.

~Can I take your picture?
The cameras steal little bits of my soul. I wear the fursuit as protection from the soul-sucking abilities of the camera

~What's your goal(s) for the con this year?
Enjoy myself on my first ever trip to the US

Yes, I'm going to be there.

If you guys need to contact me, the best place to do it is Skype, or Facebook. Feel free to add me on those sites. Information is on my FA profile

https://fbcdn-sphotos-f-a.akamaihd......45869458_n.jpg

That's my baby...on the back of a tow truck.

Something went wrong the night before when I drove it home. A strange rattle came from the engine, but no lights on the dash came on to tell me something failed. I stopped and started it a few times, and I was only around the corner so I managed to limp her home, but now she won't start. I'm not mechanically inclined enough to know what's happened, so she's going to a mechanic for further diagnosis.

Watch this space for updates.

Update: mechanic's been called. haven't finished full diagnosis but they say it's 99% guaranteed to have been my timing belt snapping prematurely.

Hey guys

I'm wondering if I may get some help making my fursona's headpiece a reality.

This is a crop from a recent commission by ferality https://db.tt/qAHJDixe

I'm looking for a crafter to commission this as a simple clip on accessory using actual gold plates (maybe 9 carat), feathers and gems.

And yes, I expect this project to be horrendously expensive by my standards.

Feel free to throw suggestions my way

Me on the right, with  leap on the left

Hiya!

I've had my past ref sheet for just under 2 years now, and I feel its worth giving my character a fresh one, to show him growing up as I too get older and wiser and whateveritisoldpeoplebecome.

You may have noticed a change in the character's hairstyle, where before it varied commission to commission, its now getting longer, a lot less chaotic and less shaggy. A hair accessory is getting thrown in too, which you'll be seeing in the updated reference sheet.

I'm working on this new reference in collaboration with an artist and esteemed friend of mine so that I have much more control over how my character turns out. The new reference sheet will aim to show off the updated character but also reduce any possible ambiguity that exists in the prior reference. Ambiguity isn't a good thing for reference sheets and kind of makes me feel disconnected from my fursona.

I also need ideas for an alt. Thinking about an Arctic fox, but I'd appreciate suggestions.

Guess who got a licence? Nahnahnahnananah!

Something like that.

P1 licence get. Etc etc.

Broke the poor thing though. She's gonna need a patchup for the fuel line hose (the bit between the tank and the side of the car that you feed petrol to). I must have hit a rock.

Getting a mechanic to look at it next week...

Fuck me...More money to the pit!

Tomorrow I'm taking my car down to Dromana to do my licence test. Finally, I'm free from the shackles that kept me dependent on people to get me around, and now I can get myself around places!

At least...until I run out of fuel...That said the car's fairly efficient when I'm not driving it like a nut.

Also tried removing the radio head unit ( skooma-addict kindly donated a car radio that wasn't being used and had USB and iPhone/Android capabilities). Damn German engineering. Thing's locked in and needs to be torn out with a special set of keys...of which weren't sold with the car, and have been told for legal purposes, nobody's allowed to sell them to me. Money for the capitalist god I suppose. Do I look like someone that would go around stealing people's stereos?

It's midnight. I should get some fucking sleep.

Hey guys

Just a heads up if you're watching me for the art I commission, I do apologise about how slowly its going.

I've got pending commissions but in all honesty, it'll be a while before I start getting more together. I've got 2 and a half cons I need to arrange rooms and transport for (FurJAM in September, FurWAG a month after that and ConFurgence 2014). Not to mention as per the last journal I have a car and all the woes associated (Petrol, servicing, tyres, rego is due in December).

I'm also going to be looking at better employment to help support me getting into the career of my choice in the next few months.

All this is culminating into me not having any disposable income to go towards art, and whilst that frustrated me a little, my money is better spent on actually keeping me going.

Once I get over this little hump, I'll get some more art together ^^.

Also should point out my 20th birthday is this month and I'm also trying to plan for that.
All going to raid Glen Waverley and watch a movie I think.

So I did it ;_;

I bought a car.

I bought my first car. A 2000 Holden/Opel/Vauxhall/whatevertheycallthemselves Astra, manual, 1.8L. In white.
I'm too scared to open my bank account...
Too scared

Dealer's going to service it and have it delivered free of charge

For all interested parties, this is what it looks like: https://fbcdn-sphotos-e-a.akamaihd......84604343_n.jpg

It's got Cruise control, ABS, airconditioning, dual airbags. I'm probably going to swap the stock head unit.

I know I'm rambling. It's my first car. Leave me alone DX

So I completely forgot about this happening...but I still managed to go

Me, , and Flook (...if I can remember what his username was on this) volunteered as Mascots for the RSPCA's annual Million Paws walk.

Lots of fun was had. Weather was decent for suiting.

The dogs hated me though. Don't know why, but about 6 of them started viciously barking at me and trying to eat my paws DX.

And then I faceplanted... https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?.....51603261779329

This...: https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u.....507_204321.jpg

Ladies and gentlemen, this is my pantry. A desolate wasteland of nothing more than a few bits and bobs and some sauces.
I'm literally about to go skitzo now.
I have 2 dollars to last me the next 6 hours, as I get paid tomorrow, and depending on how much I get paid, depends on whether or not I attack this problem with my hard earned cash, or my credit card.

This isn't some "cry for help" or "pity me" journal. I'm just seriously pointing out the fact we have fuck all (besides a fuckton of Mi Goreng noodles so generously donated by skooma-addict), and that I plan to actually do something about it.

In the meantime, you guys are more than welcome to throw suggestions at me for ways I can use what little I have here to actually make some dinner, before I concede defeat and order pizza on borrowed money x.x

Thankyou <3

(On that note, we had over and realised we also lacked the basic utensils to actually cook a proper meal...)

Yes I went, yes I was there. Stuff happened. The end!

I don't enter these normally , but I thought this one was a keeper

http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/4336660/ this guy is raffling off his character's loneliness. If you want in too, all you need is a ref and a cheesy pickup line. Go for it!

I'm probably venting again, but eh. You people don't pay me and I don't pay you people to read these. Gloss over if you don't give a shit.

Just over a week into the new year. Another long, boring drag of life as I try to work out what the fuck I'm wanting to do with myself. I'm still working at Aegis for Suncorp Motor claims. The call volume is projected to increase as people start to fledge to their insurers for damages arising from the heatwave and subsequent bushfires surrounding the state in East Australia. It's just like 2009 again x.x. I'm working towards trying to get a better job, and I'm putting my uni course on hold for one more year, before I have to make a choice between attending uni for 3 years or giving up my slot to someone that actually wants it.

I don't know what a good night's sleep is anymore. In this slightly depressing and lonely time I've spent most of it crashing at friends places or my living room couch, and often only sleeping for 3-4 hours a night due to a clash in the stupid hours they're giving me (Since I've returned from surgery 3 months ago, all they've been doing is giving me 9-5s, and next week it's an 8-4). This is normal for me. I'm surprised it hasn't killed me yet, though.

Speaking of surgery, it's been 3 months, and some feeling has returned to my chin, but not a whole lot. I also don't know what's happened but the lower left side of my mouth has become hyper sensitive and painful to eat on. I should be off braces soon, hopefully.

On a semi positive note, I'm looking at buying a car (or what has described as a 'purse'. Fuck you! You bought a Beemer!). Something small and light, preferably no older than 11 years old. It has to be a hatch, with a 5 speed manual, air conditioning and give me a better viable alternative to our public transport system. I'm doing this because the state government has justified a fucking 6% hike in transport fares and yet they've allowed this to happen! I'm sick of sending my money to the government and watching them do fuck all on making sure stupid things like this don't happen on my way to work. The car will most likely be registered under a custom plate. Apparently, the combination 'FOXCAT' has yet to be claimed in this state :D

So that's another long-winded rant from me because I have nothing better to do than waste your time. Have a good day :D

I spoke to an elderly woman today on the phone.

She was 54, and was in a spot of bother. She lived in a dangerous emergency housing estate because her landlord and property developer had flunked out on a promise to deliver her stable accommodation and are running 2 months behind schedule. She had no family she could turn to, with her parents in aged care and her daughter in the UK ready to give birth. She lived with younger, vile, inconsiderate and violent neighbours that intimidated her, threatened her, proved to be a constant disruption and physically assaulted her at some stage.

She had called in because one of these neighbours had vandalised her car. She knew which one, but without any solid evidence, I had to advise her that we were unable to pursue a recovery and we'd have to apply a $500 excess on her claim. She understood. I told her if it helped, since the damage was mostly cosmetic, and she'd be moving out hopefully in January into her more secure and peaceful apartment, that she could hold off on the claim (since all the repairers are closed for Christmas) until she moved if she wanted.

She went on to tell me about how she didn't like where she was, how upset she was that the property developer had failed to deliver on their promise and how she had no other choice than to live with such people who took advantage of her. It was distressing because she'd called the police several times and nothing was getting done because they had no solid proof. The accommodation operator refused to install cameras in the complex and had merely only issued the offending tenant with a warning.

What really intrigued me was her ability to keep pushing on through, knowing that there was salvation at the end of the tunnel, and that she would eventually be free and living in a much safer place. I told her that I commended her, for I couldn't deal with what she was dealing with. I really couldn't. I'd have gone insane or gotten myself into trouble if I did what she did.

The tenant is apparently trying to justify his behaviour by saying he'd been raped by a high figure in his childhood. That's just such bullshit. I can sympathise for that sort of traumatic event but I cannot see how one justifies it as valid behaviour to maliciously damage someone else's cherished property. It's stupid. People like that really need to realise that events like that don't give them a ticket to Sympathyville and a licence to do whatever the fuck they want.

I really don't know how to tie this into my life. I've had traumatic experiences but none as close as that. I try not to let such experiences shape who I am but they have defined a few quirks in my own personality, which is an inevitable consequence, I guess.

I would do anything to see this woman smile. She's a good person and strong willed. She doesn't deserve to be treated like this.

So I had to lay to rest my last relationship...again. I'm getting used to these by now. Go out, get dumped, cry, get pissed (and pissed off), then dust off and start again.

I wish people wouldn't use me so much...

Uncle Kage blackmails you during story hour!

Oh joy.

It's that time of year again is it? The festive season of Christmas which seems more about who can sell you the best mobile phone for cheaper than the spirit of sharing and togetherness.

People asking me what I want? Actually...nobody's done that yet...eh, doesn't bother me. Nobody reeeeallly needs to (or wants to, even) know what I want for Christmas.

But I thought I'd share it here anyway.

See, as I said in the last journal, I'm not really much of a people person it seems. As a quiet, meek and socially awkward person, I blend into the background too easily, often getting ignored or left behind. This isn't something that has cropped up recently. This is something I've lived with my entire life.

I don't blame anyone. I'm really not that good company. I don't really game, I don't watch TV all that much, or movies, my life is constantly tied up with my job, and I don't really do well in group settings or parties. I've practically minimised the amount of fur meets I attend, and the last party I attended I felt emotionally and physically drained, which made me really bad for conversation (as in, worse than I already am).

I know people don't do this to me purposefully.

See, the problem is, this is all in my head. People don't ignore me. I just think people ignore me because that's what experience has taught me. Despite my social awkwardness, I crave social well being and attention. I'm needy, clingy, lacking in self confidence and self esteem, and insecure. I love my friends, my job, my coworkers, and of course, my boyfriend, and always will...I just wish I didn't think they were always trying to avoid me.

So for Christmas, all I want is some help to get me out of this rut I've dug myself into for the past 19 years. I want to stop being overly pedantic, paranoid and anxious and start living life a lot more normally. This isn't just a gift for me, but for everyone around me that has to put up with my bullshit.

I don't think anyone can really grant it apart from myself though, so I guess I'll keep battling...

(Wild also wish for a white Christmas too. I'm sick of this bloody heat)

I can't say I've had the happiest 19 years of living. I've grown up kinda messed up and confused most of my childhood, and it's had knock-on effects on me now.

I guess I can trace it all back to my parents. I guess it's no secret that I was abused as a kid. Not sexually, god no. My parents were much more decent than that. I was manhandled, beaten and mentally abused as a kid. I was lied to, set up, and bullied too. When I needed people most, they almost never listened to me, and of those that did, they couldn't, or wouldn't, help me.

I've grown up into adulthood paranoid, anxious and untrusting of people's words. I've become attention-seeking and needy too. I don't really know how to describe it, or stop it, but I figure it's better to come out with the raw truth than sugarcoat it. I crave recognition, love and affection, care and attention, but doesn't everyone nowadays?

I wish it's something I could stop. I feel crappy and down when I'm ignored, or when I feel like I'm being ignored, and I have this tendency to be able to blend into the background easily, so this is neither easy for me to deal with nor easy for anyone to put up with. I'm seeking psychiatric help regularly about my ongoing mental conditions, and I think this is something I might bring up at the next appointment in January.

And believe it or not, I've also taken up irregular smoking. It's not something I want to turn into a habit because it's not healthy for me or anyone around me, but I thought I should point that out.

To my partner,  leafian, I'm sorry for all the crap I lay on you when you're busy with uni. I'm glad you're sticking with me through this. I know I bombard you with phone calls and texts and everything, and I wish I didn't feel so compelled to do so.

To everyone else, I don't expect you to read or understand this, or agree with any of it, and that's entirely fine. You don't have to. I merely ask you people ensure I don't do something stupid.

Offer has been taken! Thanks guys!

Hey guys

We've got a room booked for MiDFur from Monday the 3rd of December to Sunday the 9th, and we're looking for a 5th person. So far it's me and these three beautiful fags of mine -->  huskytime,  leafian and  urbandingo

At the moment we are looking for a 5th to bring the price of the room down for all of us, as we are barely able to get on top of this, especially since I've been out of work. I didn't get a paycheck because I was admitted to hospital on the day after the payroll period ended, so I've returned to work, and to my dismay, haven't been paid a single cent and won't be for another 2 weeks.

If we get the 5th person, the price per head for the 6 days of accommodation is approx $234. It is a large room with ample space, and we will be supplying air beds or stretchers to make up for the lack of adequate bedding (we'd only anticipated 4, but due to a major shuffle around, we're pushing for 5). There will also be parties and alcohol, and chances are I'll be sleeping when I'm not working my arse off around the con.

If being in a confined space with 4 other furs for 6 nights straight doesn't phase you one bit, then please, drop us a message!

You know what really irritates me?

When someone says they're going to do something, and then they don't do it, and they won't explain why.

Also people that don't respond back to messages to keep a conversation from going stale. I feel really awkward if I have to prod someone I've already sent a message to.

As stated before, 8 partners later at such a tender age, and I can't trust people anymore with just words alone.

I understand I fall victim to this too. I often get sidetracked a lot (hey, I'm part feline after all. I have the attention span of a goldfish most of the time), but I try to tie up all my loose ends.

I'm just sick of chasing after people unnecessarily.