Y E E H A W

http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/9035187/
http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/9035187/
http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/9035187/
http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/9035187/
http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/9035187/

Also speedpaints are still open til the 16th ooooh

http://www.furaffinity.net/view/31400598/
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/31400598/
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/31400598/
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/31400598/
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/31400598/

if i started selling commissions for this kinda shit:

http://www.furaffinity.net/view/30525485/
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/30552256/
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/30283018/
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/30175263/
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/31364032/

would anyone wanna buy it lol
i'd have different price options for different types but i was thinking low poly w/ rigging and poses and shit (maybe with included .blend/.dae/.whateverelse file) or high poly sculpts as part of detailed paintings

idk what u people really like so lemme know

hey y'all. regular commissions will be closed until further notice. any commissions i've accepted before this point will be completed, but i won't be accepting any new ones. might open speedpaints again soon, but don't count on regular ones being around for a while. stay frosty

howdy y'all im sick as a dog (haha geddit hahahahah becus its the furry website hahahahahahahahahahha) and it sucks ass so as i struggle to draw a single straight line ive been just watchin a whole lotta shit

whomst out of everyone has good movie/tv suggestions

i'll watch basically anything animated or with animals in it becus im 5 at heart but i'll go for anything as long as it doesnt suck

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AIq24GXJuhQ
it's pig day
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AIq24GXJuhQ
it's pig day
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AIq24GXJuhQ
it's pig day
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AIq24GXJuhQ
it's pig day
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AIq24GXJuhQ
it's pig day
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AIq24GXJuhQ
it's pig day
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AIq24GXJuhQ
it's pig day
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AIq24GXJuhQ
it's pig day
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AIq24GXJuhQ
it's pig day
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AIq24GXJuhQ
it's pig day
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AIq24GXJuhQ
it's pig day
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AIq24GXJuhQ
it's pig day
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AIq24GXJuhQ
it's pig day
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AIq24GXJuhQ
it's pig day
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AIq24GXJuhQ
it's pig day
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AIq24GXJuhQ
it's pig day
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AIq24GXJuhQ
it's pig day
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AIq24GXJuhQ
it's pig day
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AIq24GXJuhQ
it's pig day
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AIq24GXJuhQ
it's pig day
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AIq24GXJuhQ
it's pig day
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AIq24GXJuhQ
it's pig day
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AIq24GXJuhQ
it's pig day
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AIq24GXJuhQ
it's pig day
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AIq24GXJuhQ
it's pig day

why?

long, stupid, lame answer: i have two main issues with this way of thinking. 1) most of the complaints i have about furries as a community have to do with things totally unrelated to the art market and how furries treat art (that's a topic for another day). the issues i have with the fandom stem from how much abuse and illegal/immoral activity takes place in it and is swept under the rug because of the hivemind-esque nature of furry-centric websites, cons, meetups, etc. at the end of the day, i'm an outsider looking in on the art-centric parts of the community who makes money because my abilities align with the desires of a niche audience. i don't have deep-seated emotional investment in the art stuff - or community at large - given my participation is purely for monetary gain, but it can feel really dirty being dependent on a community that's so unabashedly free to do whatever gross bullshit it wants, because it means catering to people in a community that do shit like ignore animal abuse and child molestation. it's frustrating, therefore i complain about it both as an artist and as a human being with fucking morals

2) nobody is entitled to respect from anybody because of how much money they throw at people. you can't buy people's moral approval of you. you can't buy people's general approval of you, either. and your support can and would quickly become a fart in the wind if an artist suddenly decided they weren't catering exclusively to your demographic, so there's no sense in pretending you're doing this for the good of the artist instead of your own self satisfaction. in truth, there's nothing wrong with only supporting who entertains you! we all do it with every service or material possession. but the idea that furries are not only the only people to support artists financially, but are somehow magical, special, almighty providers for doing so and therefore are too godly and perfect to be criticized for anything unrelated to art that they do and are enabled to do by a poorly controlled and all-too-accepting community... it's insane. it's the most egotistical shit i've ever heard, and it's crazy


short, important, genius answer: where's my fuckin money then lmao pay me or shut up

question mark????????????????????????????????????

i've never taken webcomics super seriously, but i think that's just because i haven't read enough ones that are interesting. i prefer cohesive stories to one-off-gag-a-day newspaper comic wannabes and i'm definitely not into Furry Sitcoms But In Image Form, and that's basically all i've seen on sites like this. that and generic wolf comics, yargh

if any of yous guys know any stories hosted here, on deviantart, on tumblr, in actual print, literally wherever that you think are good, let me know. i need more reading material

Money can be exchanged for goods and services!

Commissions are currently: CLOSED, please do not contact me about them at this time!

Please read the TOS before asking questions or ordering from me. Please contact me via PM instead of comments if you are interested. Thank you!

All prices are in USD. All payment is done via Paypal invoices. I do not accept alternative payment methods.

Edit log:
⦁ 5/10/2019 - New commission type! Customers can now purchase Painted Color portraits
⦁ 3/12/2019 - New commission type! Soft Shaded Color now has body option
⦁ 2/1/2019 - New journal posted! Commission types "Pixel Icons", "Sketches", and "Soft Shaded Color" opened

Pixel Icons
A 100x100 or 50x50 pixel icon of your character for use on social media. Background can be a solid color, a gradient, or transparent. Deadline is 14 days from date paid for.
⦁ 50x50 body - $3
⦁ 100x100 portrait - $6
Examples:
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/29806184/
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/30001706/
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/31002248/
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/31026663/


Sketches
A roughly lined, roughly colored, soft shaded drawing of your character. Deadline is 21 days from date paid for.
⦁ Portrait - $10
⦁ Body - $14
⦁ Additional characters (body orders only) - $7 each
⦁ Simple background - additional $4
Examples:
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/29864486/
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/30782201/
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/30893750/
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/30987407/
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/31092082/


Soft Shaded Color
A lined, cleaned up drawing of your character with soft ambient shading. Think Disney movie. Deadline is 30 days from date paid for.
⦁ Portrait - $17
⦁ Body - $22
⦁ Additional characters (body orders only) - $11 each
⦁ Simple background - additional $5
Examples:
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/30286560/
https://sta.sh/01ig1p9owk40
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/30500333/
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/30787725/
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/31117313/


Painted Color
A lined, cleaned up drawing of your character with detailed, blended shading. More complex and refined then previous types. Deadline is 30 days from date paid for.
⦁ Portrait - $20
⦁ Simple background - additional $6
Examples:
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/31485731/


Discounts and Fun Stuff!
⦁ Orders placed during the month of a widely recognized holiday which are made in reference to that holiday (e.g. your character as a zombie drawn during October, your character surrounded by hearts during February, etc.) are 10% off!
⦁ Customers who order pieces over $50 may request a free uncolored sketch!
⦁ Orders that include one of my own characters get %15 off and 100% of my eternal gratitude!

Terms of Service
⦁ I can refuse or refund any commission at any time for any reason and without explanation.
⦁ Refunds can be provided in full only before I begin any work. Partial refunds can be provided based on the amount of work I have not yet done. I will not refund finished works. If I'm the one to cancel an order, I will provide a full refund.
⦁ I need visual references of a character, not text descriptions. Quality of the reference doesn't matter. I also need a solid answer on what character(s) I will be working with. I will not choose which character(s) to draw for you. Please be specific about what poses, expressions, props, etc. you want included, otherwise I will take artistic liberties.
⦁ Check the description of each type to see when its deadline/due date is. Average turnaround times vary, but there is no guarantee you'll receive a piece early. Refunds or complimentary artwork (customer's choice) will be provided if the deadline cannot be met.
⦁ Small adjustments after a piece's completion are free. Larger adjustments may cost extra or be declined altogether.
⦁ You retain ownership of any original characters featured in the art whereas I retain full rights to the artwork itself. All commissions are one off pieces - I won't be reselling, printing, or otherwise using the image afterwards for anything except my portfolio. Likewise, you are not allowed to use anything I create for you for commercial gain, e.g. no selling it on tshirts.
⦁ You are allowed to repost the work so long as you do not modify it or use it to make money AND you give me full credit for its creation.
⦁ I WILL NOT DRAW: copyrighted characters (fan characters are fine), anything bigoted (i.e. nothing racist, sexist, homophobic, transphobic, etc.), extreme violence and gore (blood is fine in small amounts), anything sexually suggestive including pornography (which includes ALL fetishes), or exact reproductions of other artists' work or art styles.

If you have any questions not answered here, feel free to ask. Thank you so much for reading!

it's more likely then you think!

just wanted to let people know that commissions will be open again tomorrow! there will also be a difference in these commissions in comparison to ones i sold in 2018:

- not all types will be available out the gate. i'll be adding to the list of types as time goes by, so check in every now and again to see what i'm providing
- prices will be slightly higher. nothing major, just a few more bucks for each
- to make up for higher prices, pieces will be of a higher quality. e.g. sketches will be less "chunky" and have thinner lines and softer shading
- simple backgrounds will be an option for all types! for a small additional fee, you can request an environment to place your characters in
- i'd like to integrate some decent discounts. thinkin of cutting prices for holiday pieces, orders over $someprice, and discounts on pieces that include my own characters, because why the fuck not!!!

i'm very excited to get back to providing yous guys with some art! hope to be drawing for you again soon

OKAY so the new year is here and that means a coupla things

1) i'll do my best to have the other two remaining raffle prizes done before the end of the month! i apologize for the delay, it's just been so busy where i live since the holidays rolled around and its only now slowing down a little
2) i'll likely be updating slower and with less frequency as i pump out some Boring Portfolio Stuff and new examples for future commission types. i'd also like to know if anyone's got any ideas for different types - some of my ideas include super different styles and physical items i'd be shipping to you
3) THIS'UNS FOR THE COMMISSION PEOPLE: if you've bought something from me within the last year that wasn't posted publicly, like the various sizes of an icon or a transparent alt of a piece, go back and download it now while you have the chance. i'll be deleting them from my dA sta.sh to save space for new ones this year. if you need a link, feel free to ask. otherwise they'll be cleared out in a week

anyway have a good new 364 days l8r h8rs

Hey dudes. Just wanted to announce this while it was still reasonable to do so: I'm keeping commissions closed until February of 2019 instead of January.
There's all sorts of reasons and stuff but they're not really important. Just be aware that that's gonna happen.

Also, things are going to change a little bit regarding commissions. Something I'd like to do that isn't too unusual or unexpected is to change types, styles, and prices, hopefully for the sake of both giving people more bang for their buck while justifying it to myself, but I'm talking different ways in which I run this shit. There's different things I'd like to try, and none of them are guaranteed to happen or be permanent fixtures, but I think they'd be beneficial to attempt.
This kinda thing would be stuff like deadines that vary based on what kind of work you buy (e.g. an icon would be like 2 weeks, a painting could be 2 months), grabbag experimental kinda stuff, art challenges people can pay to have their characters included in, actual slots which I've never had but are looking sexier every day, a wait list that's visible to the public, months where commissions are closed aside from YCHs and speedpaints, months where commissions are closed altogether, and months where certain regular types are open but others aren't.

Really what this affects is the availability of my art, which is why I mention it all. I know a handful of people are waiting for commissions to reopen, but I'd also like them to be aware that commissions aren't always going to be a consistent, eternally open thing like they have been in the past.
No exactly sure what I will or won't try. Feel free to let me know what you think if you've got anything to say. Otherwise any prospective clients just need to know I won't be back to making paid work until next year. Have a good'un!

Holy SHIT you guys. I really didn't expect my first raffle to get more then maybe 20 people in it, but this one had a total of 83 unique participants. I'm gobsmacked, lads! Thank you so much for all the interest.
Also major thanks to everyone who boosted their entries by helping me advertise and thanks to anyone who's gonna hang around watching me even if they don't win. It's flattering enough that you all liked my work enough to enter for a chance to win it.
Because of all that attention, I ended up adding a 4th winner's slot within the first 24 hours as thanks, which means one more of you guys gets a prize!
I appreciate this so much yadda yadda blah blah YOU PEOPLE WANT PRIZES, AMIRITE??!!

Welp, congratulations to the 4 lucky winners! All of your names, including entry boosters, were put into a random list generator. Screenshot showing the 4 lucky winners can be found here: http://www.furaffinity.net/view/29704721/

And here's the 4 lucky winners!

1st prize goes to: dankedonuts
Congratulations! You can have any kind of art piece you'd like with up to 3 characters.
2nd prize goes to: asherion
Congranulations! You get a fullbody sketch of up to 3 characters!
3rd prize goes to: lostwhispers
Congaturaisins! You get a portrait sketch of up to 3 characters!
4th prize goes to: cybertoxinn
Oh my shit!! You get an MS Paint sketch of up to 3 characters!
I'll discuss all of this further with the winners when I contact them via note and they claim their prizes. I'll be making contact with all of you just after I post this. Just keep an eye on your notes!

Also, all winners PLEASE be sure to read these rules of what is and isn't allowed when claiming your prizes. If you break any of these rules, YOU WILL NOT RECIEVE YOUR PRIZE. Instead, your prize will go to the next runner up in the randomly generated list. Save yourself the heartache and don't fuck this up, bro!

Da Rulez (it's short so you have no excuse)
1) Have a character decided on ahead of time. I will NOT choose a character for you.
2) Your character must have up to date visual references, and those references MUST be SFW. No NSFW/Mature refs allowed. Inform me of any details that are important or missing from refs before I begin working or else it might not turn out the way you want it to.
3) You may only ask for art of characters you own or characters you have permission to have work made of. No IP/canon characters. Fan characters are fine so long as they're not entirely based off of an IP character.
4) The resulting art will be exclusively SFW. There will be no porn and no gore. Don't ask for it.
5) Reply to the note I send you no later then December 13th, or else I'll assume you've lost interest.
(Heads up: because this is free, you will not be receiving any WiPs, sketches, or be able to have alterations made to the work unless I missed something major. Gift horses and their mouths, ya know.)

So congrats to everybody! I'll attempt to have your prizes done before Christmas, but depending on the complexity of some of them, esp. 1st place's, they may be a little late for the holidays. I'll post them as they're finished and will provide links to you so you can see them.

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!

It's the last day to sign up for the Christmas raffle! If you're interested, check it out. It's free to enter. Along the way I ended up boosting the winner count from 3 people to 4.

https://www.furaffinity.net/view/29574453/
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/29574453/
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/29574453/
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/29574453/
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/29574453/

I'll be drawing and announcing the winners tomorrow!

Commissions are officially closed and my first raffle is officially open. Enter for a chance to win free art!
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/29574453/
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/29574453/
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/29574453/
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/29574453/
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/29574453/

finally got my new laptop
all is well and i'll be back to scream obscenities at you people in casual, friendly conversation soon

Hey, it's Craig.
Yes, that one.
Anyways, your good ol' boy beck's laptop finally bit the dust after 10 years.
HOWEVER, we've ordered a new one off of amazon that is expected by the 23rd or around that time, you know how online orders are, yadda yadda we live in a fucking forest so they'll have to find us and i'll probably shoot at them with a cool slingshot

Things beck still can do:
commissions (his programs work, his tablet works)
yell at the sky
punch me in the ass

so if you're waiting on commissions, he's still doing them.

things beck CAN'T do currently:
type, like, at all
be straight
enjoy furries
reply to your comments, notes, and emails
(because of the typing thing)

SO thank you for your patience or whatever stay tuned i'll probably be replying to ya'll on my own account or whatever and he'll do his best to literally copy and paste every letter in order to do short replies

howdy y'all. just wanted to announce a couple of things for this december:

1) I'm not going to be taking on any new commissions during December. This is the first time I'll be closing commissions for something happening totally within my control! Maybe I'll get cold feet halfway through and open them again, but I both have another job that I can lean on for money AND I need to take building my portfolio more seriously so I can finally start applying for art jobs, and that's pretty good motivation to lock them up for a while. Noah fence, dudes, but most personal commissions aren't gonna cut it as portfolio pieces and they eat up a huge chunk of my time at this point. Also, I just really wanna be able to spend the month taking care of personal business and spending time with my family.
People who have commissions due in December will still get their work before their deadlines, btw, and you can order them for the time being if you want.

2) I'm planning something neat for my watchers to give thanks for you all putting up with me all these 2/3 years. I won't say what it is yet, but trust me, it'll be nice.

in the meantime, have a good life, dweebs!!!!

anybody around here like YCHs? i was thinking of doing some pretty cheap (like $5-$20) ones at some point, just wasn't sure how into that sorta thing people are. some would probably be bases (like Your Dog And Only Dog Here) but some would probably be pre-painted backgrounds where i'd draw your character sitting by a lake or some shit

if anyone who reads my Horrible Screech Logs likes/buys YCHs, what's your preferences? what do you like to buy?

people in these kindsa communities always be like "why do artists do this" or "how can artists get away with that" while rewarding artists for doing "this" and "that" in the form of donations and commissions and i'm so, so tired of it. i always hate seeing shitty people make bank just because they can (usually poorly) draw furry porn or whatever, but lately i've been getting more and more annoyed at the people who patronize them and then have the gall to complain when the artist keeps pulling their bullshit.

if someone's work is too expensive, you shouldn't be shelling out unfair amounts just to have a piece of your character with their name on it. don't buy from them.

if it's too cheap and you think they should raise prices, stop taking advantage of their obvious desperation or naivety and don't buy from them.

if someone's art gets more and more poorly drawn because quality matters to them less then quantity, either wait til they show signs of improvement before buying or don't buy from them.

if someone has shown they're not talented or versatile enough to give people what they actually ask for, refuse to take a gamble on whether you'll get decent work and don't buy from them.

if someone is a total asshole or bad at business or irresponsible, it shouldn't matter to you how good their art is. don't buy from them.

artists depend on a market that accepts their prices, their work, and themselves. they cannot have a business unless they have buyers and they can't get away with selling shit art packaged with shit customer service and a shit personality unless they have an audience that's encouraging that behavior by buying. a LOT of the responsibility to cultivate a good marketplace of quality work and decent people falls on buyers to have common sense and taste if that's what they wanna see from the artists they throw money at.

please for the love of god stop bitching about the exact same behavior you're enabling.

Hey you heap of dweebs! Do you like dogs, both real and fictitious? Do you like art books? Do you like helping me feel self important? Well BOY oh BOY do I got an offer for you then!
Within the past several months, I was graciously accepted to participate in a fan zine based off of the Ginga Nagareboshi Gin/Densetsu Weed/Spinning Blue Muscle Dog series, which means I drew weird dogs with a lot of other people and we put alla that in a whole entire real tangible book you can hold in your hands and read with your eyes! Holy cow! Oh my God! Jesus Christ!

The zine can be preordered here: https://gingafanzine.bigcartel.com/
Preorders are only open til November 1st, so if you want it, you gotta order it while you can!

List of reasons why you should buy it:
* All proceeds that don't go to the actual printing of the books go to charity! You'll be donating to the National Disaster Search Dog Foundation, which means you'll both be giving financial support to dogs that save people's lives AND you'll get a cool edgy anime dog book out of it!!!
* It's based off of a hella edgy doggy anime! (I especially know how much the Finns and Swedes like these shows for some reason.) And I know for a fact you people as a collective whole like dogs and anime, you can't lie to me!!!
* My art is in it! Craig's art is in it! A whole buttload of people's art is in it! There were over 30 entries from artists all over the world, all of us united in our love for dogs with pecs. You can't let every single one of us down, can you? It's like owning a print of the bullshit Craig and I draw all the time but for money and from a lotta people you may or may not know!!!
* There are both tangible physical downloads for real life actually in your house books, and also a cheaper (though incomplete and watermarked) digital equivalent if we're not worth $15+ to you! This means you can still contribute to the cause while getting in on somma that sweet animu action!!!
* It's a fucking charity zine! Holy shit! You could put this thing on your coffee table and as soon as someone asks "oh hey dude what's that" you can tell them you saved a dog or something because you threw money at it! You'll never have low self esteem again!!!
* I'll be your friend if you do! No really! I swear!!!

So get your copy ASAP before you're barred from ever seeing one in print ever, ever again for all of time!

guess i feel like yelling my thoughts into the void again
come yell with me, my children

1. true theft is someone taking something of yours and presenting it as theirs, usually for the purpose of substanstial financial or personal gain (whether they achieve that is irrelevant tbh but it's usually the motivator). copyright infringement and being a dickhead are not synonymous to literal stealing, just fucking with the relationship to the art being infringed/dickheaded with. e.g. when you pirate a movie, that's not art theft, it's you breaking copyright law

2. you don't own the copyright to fanart or creations that are directly and inarguably created in connection to someone else's established intellectual property, so you can't claim that your copyright is infringed when someone "steals" it. if the IP owner could hypothetically send you a C&D over it and force YOU to take it down, it's not yours to defend. e.g. your my little pony fanart is in hasbro's hands, not yours. slapping a copyright symbol on a work's deviantArt page doesn't change your legal relationship with an IP

3. when you post your work to the internet, you are forfeiting some level of control over it. this doesn't mean that actual theft is "your fault" or that you have to like the way in which it is used, just that you should (within reason) prepare for the worst, take advantage of the best, and expect neither. most people are not going to be wowed by the average artist's work to the point they build a media empire around one whole drawing, and if they do, you can wait til then to take them to court

4. don't follow my example on this, but whining and yelling are a lot less likely to get you where you wanna be with someone then being reasonable in how you address them. as soon as someone calls me a motherfucker, for instance, i make it my mission to piss them off as much as possible. artsy fartsy people are assholes by default so you shouldn't expect to get your way by being the first to throw a stone. be nice and most people will work with you and stop using your art/give you credit/whatever

5. google is the world's biggest art theft ring, 9/11 was an inside job, and the lizard men are coming to get you, barbra

some cool, semi-related reading/viewing:

https://www.deviantart.com/droemar/.....-One-759429936

https://www.deviantart.com/droemar/.....rt-2-765703542

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nfOgKADAtqc

https://www.deviantart.com/painted-.....ight-633074862

https://www.deviantart.com/fristdyn.....-lol-442900169

now go repost my work to instagram

Etiquette For Artists Offering Commissions: The Sequel To The Greatest Post Never Made
EDIT: Realized last second this could prrrobably use some context. Well, here's what you're gettin': I wrote a thing about people commissioning artists and all the shit they do that annoys me, so as a workin' artist, here's all the shit I see artists taking commissions doing that fries my ass. Enjoy!

1. Have a TOS (Or Something Like That)
This is basically step one to being less frustrating. Look, whenever I wanna buy something I don't need to live, I typically know exactly what I want. But what I rarely ever know exactly is where I can get it from. If someone's commissioning you, it probably means they like your style (and if they don't, why are they here lmao) and they have a pretty clear image in their head of what they want. But what they need to know is if you're offering to make them that clear image. And, of course, you need to cover your ass during the creation of that image. Miscommunication almost always starts because people don't know what will fly and what won't, so set up SOMETHING as a reference for what you're offering and also your policies for it, like how you handle refunds or what you will or won't draw. This can be a TOS, a do's and don't's list, a tiny hunk of text saying you don't draw hyper inflation porn, whatever. Just make it clear to your customers how things will go down, because it'll be your fault if they have to ask you a bunch of questions you never provided answers for.

2. Set Fair Prices (A Sketch is Not Worth $50)
I mean, unless you're genuinely a crazy good artist with amazing chops, you don't need to price your shit that high. I understand that settling on fair prices is hard - how do I objectively know what my art is worth? This isn't a tutorial on pricing your commissions so I won't dwell on it, but something you need to understand is this: art is both a service and a product. The service part means you're being paid for your time, the product part means you're being paid for what you produce. If you create your art in MS Paint within a timeframe of 30 seconds and it's absolute dick, you don't deserve $60 for it. If you are aware that you're not as good an artist as you should be, don't lie to us and pretend a colored fullbody from you is worth $100. Selling yourself short is a sin because it sets a lower standard for other artists, but good God stop fucking pricing everything so high. Everyone will ignore you and you'll look inexperienced, greedy, and as if you have a bloated ego. And chances are that if you can't draw a circle and you're pricing your shit in the double digits, that's exactly the case.

3. Stick With What's Asked of You (Creativity is for Personal Work)
It's natural for artists to want to inject a little bit of personality or a good idea they have into something they're doing, but you really do just need to stick with what your customer wants. I know, I know, drawing a snake with 20 hats on, though hilarious, is a pretty stupid subject for art that's supposed to be serious or sexy. But them's the breaks, and you agreed to draw it, so don't go trying to change things. Your customer will know, and they'll be rightly pissed. If you don't want to draw something, turn down the commission before you get paid. Otherwise, suck it up and do what your customer says you need to do. It can be frustrating to work with an idea that feels silly or poorly fleshed out, and by all means offer your own thoughts in the planning stages, but you agreed to draw this thing for money, so shut up and draw it.

4. Communicate (For God's Sake)
This is it. The ultimate sin committed by inexperienced people who think they can instantly make $50k overnight by drawing cat ass. When you take on a commission, you are taking on someone else's business. Their money. Their trust in you to not fuck this one up. Your goal is to deliver something the customer wants, and lemme ask you this: how do you expect to give them what they want if you don't know? Contrary to popular belief, especially among the dudebro populace, asking questions doesn't make you a pansyass, it makes you a good business partner. If your client is a dickhead who's yelling at you for asking questions, frankly you should throw their money back in their face because they don't deserve your work. But otherwise? Put away that easily bruised ego of yours and pull up your big girl panties, gents, because the only way you're gonna know if the other eye looks okay is if you ASK. Bonus points for offering works in progress, because those both prove you're not spending all your time playing video games and also that you're willing to receive feedback. (Note: Additionally, you should suck it up and take critique and suggestions. But I digress.)

5. Do Your Damn Job (Don't Open Them If You Won't Do Them)
Listen, buddy, I get how it is. Life is hard. We've all dealt with the bullshit, and some of us have constant bullshit in our lives. Things like mental illnesses or disabilities, difficult marriages or romantic entanglements, medical problems that need constant surveillance, whatever. Point is, we all have roadblocks in our lives that make shit hard. Thing is, though? Art for pay is an obligation. It's a job. For some of us, it's an entire career path. And with every other responsibility tied to our livelihoods, sometimes it really is just about sucking it up and getting through it. But if it's not your career path or livlihood, you're one of the lucky ones! You had the pleasure of deciding that you wanted to do commissions for funsies or a little extra dough. More power to you, but know this: it's still an obligation whether you take art seriously or not. It doesn't matter that you have depressive episodes, you have an obligation. It doesn't matter that you're under a lot of stress right now, you're tied to this thing. It doesn't matter that you'd just rather marathon Hell's Kitchen, it's time to get to work. Nobody put a fucking gun to your head and made you take commissions, so if you can't or won't follow through or you know you won't be able to balance them with the rest of your life, don't take them on in the first place. It's really as simple as that.

6. Don't Be a Fucking Tease (False Advertising is a Crime)
Here's a tip not just from me, lowely normie baby-freelancing scum, but actual industry professionals who don't depend on furry commissions to live: if you're not willing or capable to recreate the work you put in your portfolio, take it out. Replace "portfolio" with "commission information" or whatever and it's the same deal. What you put up as examples of your work is what you should be willing and capable of recreating at the request of your customer. Which means no putting up experimental pieces you can't remember the process behind. No putting up something you got right on a fluke. No putting up something you were once willing to do but are no longer willing to attempt. Your customer knows what they want when they see it, and they're going to (rightly) feel cheated out of their money if you don't provide it for them. A good way to prevent this besides the obvious is to create multiple examples for commission types beforehand - that way you'll know if you can manage the same quality again and again. Because really, you have no right to cry about someone getting mad at you because you didn't give them what they paid for.

7. Have a Deadline (And Follow It)
This may be a bit controversial given some artists don't function under a deadline and will definitely tell me that they don't need one, and that's whatever I guess. But here's the thing in my humble little ole onion: there is no downside to having a deadline. Deadlines make you look more professional, make your customers less antsy if there's a bit of a wait, and help you better organize your schedule around your art. Also, they really get your rear into gear and make it harder for people to come after you for not completing their super intricate painting of 5 characters in a week. How long your deadline is is up to you, but keep it reasonable. 2 months makes sense for larger pieces, 1 year is batshit insane. And, of course, fucking stick with it. It's exhausting seeing how many people still to this day set a deadline themselves, all reasonable and definitely enough time to complete what they're making, and they still get back like 3 months too late. Be smart, give your clients some material reassurance, and avoid landing yourself on Artists Beware.

8. Don't Be Creepy (Customers Aren't Sex Toys)
People don't pay you to treat them like emotional-issue receptacles or obligatory cybering buddies. This is very similar to a point I made wrt people commissioning artists: this is a business transaction, and the only thing you're being paid for is to draw for someone. Them being friendly towards you while they ask for revisions doesn't mean they wanna fuck you. Reposting your work in their gallery is free advertising, not a Friendship Certificate viable through today til you both die. It's nice to become friendly with your more pleasant clients, of course, but the easiest, most straightforward way to tank any potential career in art is to be an absolute creepazoid and take someone saying thank you for your work as an excuse to hit on them or dump your depression fantasies on them or invite them to your sexy roleplay Discord server. Admittedly this happens more with customers then with artists, and nobody in any specific genre of art is inherently going to do it, but it's not hard to find an unprofessional artist who makes NSFW and ACTS NSFW. Keep it in your pants before you scare everyone away. Besides, it's hard to hit Photoshop hotkeys with only one hand available.

9. Don't Be Disrespectful (They Didn't Pay For You to Be an Asshole)
I seriously wanna punch every rude artist for hire in their ugly fucking mugs. When I'm talking about artists being disrespectful, I'm primarily refering to two things: 1) Artists who bring their baggage from their personal lives into their business, and 2) artists who badmouth their customers the instant the money is theirs. For the first thing, I don't care that you had a bad day working your Walmart shift, or that your dog died, or that you're having relationship issues. Nobody does! And they certainly revoke all sympathy when you decide to get rude or snappy about it when communicating with them. If it's not relevant to the discussion (which, in this case, is purely business), keep it to yourself and learn to contain your feelings til you have an acceptable target to spew them at.
With regard to the second thing, I get it. We've all had bad clients. I've had clients that were painfully edgy, very condescending, and even this one dude who was outright homophobic. And they sucked! But here's the thing: publicly calling people out immediately after taking their money isn't just highkey grody, it's unprofessional. People will be less inclined to work with you if they know you're going to mock them behind their backs the instant they do something "wrong" (obvs bigotry is genuinely wrong and shouldn't be tolerated, but how many people are you scaring away when you whine about a customer using broken English? Or kawaii emojis? Or anything else harmless?) If you hate working with someone, you have to be an adult and pick one of two options: suck it up, get through it, and get paid, OR, if you can afford it, just make it clear you don't wanna work with the person, give them a refund, and move on. You're not even obligated to tell them why! Just say "I don't believe I'll be able to complete this to your liking," or some shit like that and bid them farewell. Just PLEASE save how many times you can call someone a vapid cunt for the bitching sessions you have with your friends, not your Twitter page.

10. You Ain't Special (So Take Nothing For Granted)
Being an artist and getting paid for it has never been both easier and harder. The internet, especially sites like this, is grossly oversaturated with artists of all skill levels and styles competing day in and day out for both people's attention and money. That bloated base of potential illustrators to choose from only gets bigger and bigger every day. Say what you will about shitty people selling shitty artwork for way too much money - I know I have my opinions - but the facts are the facts. There's a SHITLOAD more artists to choose from then just you. So why discourage people from doing it? You can't force people to like you or your art no matter how nice or talented you are, but you can make the process pleasant, simple, and rewarding enough that they'd like to come back for more, or tell their friends, or anything else that benefits you. You are definitely not the only person on Earth drawing for money, and you're even less so the only person on Earth who can draw. Don't forget that, and be humbled by the fact that people want to financially support your craft. They coulda chosen anyone else, so prove to them that they chose correctly.

If you're one of the people who read the one for commissioners and have been waiting for this one, sorry about that. I've been writing this on and off for several months at this point, but mostly because I wanted it to be, like, actually informative. It's probably less "funny" then the other one, but what can ya do?

If you're interested in reading the one for people looking to pay artists, you can find it here: http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/8723332/

Hope you enjoyed reading and have a nice day or face the consequences!

hello i have returned and i crave feedback because thats just the kinda bitch i am

help me out and tell me what in god's name you want WHAT DO YOU WANT PEOPLE!!!! WHAT DO YOU WANT

1) What kind of art do you like seeing me create with my grubby little hands?
2) What kind of art do you wish I never made ever again so help me god?
3) What kind of stuff you do wanna see that I haven't ever made?
4) What do you think I'm best at?
5) What do you think I suck hind tit at?
6) Have you ever bought from me and, if so, didja like the art you got?
7) If you've bought art from me, how un/pleasant was the experience and how un/pleasant was my breath?
8) Whether you've bought from me or not, do you think my commission prices are too low, decent, or so high someone should shoot me?
9) If you are interested in buying from me someday, are there any commission types you'd be interested in that I don't already sell?
10) Do you think I'd look good with a Bart Simpson tattoo? I was thinking of getting one right over the one on my butt that reads "Fuck My Trainhole"

which stands for both "be right back" and "bareback rodeo baras", both of which apply to me rn

i'll be working on shit like commissions and personal work while im gone but uh yeah. won't be around much for a little while because of Personal Business. stay frosty, you hoes

I'VE UPDATED MY COMMISSION TYPES AND PRICES! PLEASE REFER TO THIS JOURNAL INSTEAD:
http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/9035187/
http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/9035187/
http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/9035187/
http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/9035187/
http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/9035187/