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Mildly broken
Posted 2 months agoI think something in me changed concerning nsfw stuff.
I still enjoy it and enjoy drawing certain things but for the majority of it, I've admittedly grown to dislike it for myself.
I don't know if its cuz I've gotten older or cuz I've been doing this for way over a decade or cuz certain nsfw themes was something that impacted my past relationships
but sometime almost a year ago, I ended up having a really bad mental break down over being asked to draw hyper tits.
It sounds so incredibly silly, especially to me, to break down over something so unserious like that...
but it happened and I've felt kinda broken since with a sense of not really fitting in with this fandom
there's certain things I can't seem to stand anymore, some stem from painful memories, some from things i don't understand personally
I mean to each their own, not saying what people enjoy is wrong, if its not hurting anyone, go for it, art is a form of expression!
This doesnt change how i do commissions though, I cant bring myself to half-ass something I'm creating for others.
A job is a job and I'm extremely grateful people even consider getting art from me, I like making people happy.
I think for me personally it just needs to be more than just the usual mindless fucking or weird kinks.
I prefer things with meaning, characters that feel alive instead of just things that feel like empty shells...
I'm, very very unfortunately, someone who relies more on emotions/connections when it comes to creating things...I think that's the lack of something that led to that breakdown and now feel kind of out of place here ever since
I'm not sure if that's ever happened to other artists or if I just ended up weird cuz I dont really fit the usual furry...
On the plus side, it's gotten alittle better.
I've met some wonderful people here and in the Path To Nowhere community where nsfw hasnt been the main topic of every conversation or character and it's been very refreshing.
I still enjoy it and enjoy drawing certain things but for the majority of it, I've admittedly grown to dislike it for myself.
I don't know if its cuz I've gotten older or cuz I've been doing this for way over a decade or cuz certain nsfw themes was something that impacted my past relationships
but sometime almost a year ago, I ended up having a really bad mental break down over being asked to draw hyper tits.
It sounds so incredibly silly, especially to me, to break down over something so unserious like that...
but it happened and I've felt kinda broken since with a sense of not really fitting in with this fandom
there's certain things I can't seem to stand anymore, some stem from painful memories, some from things i don't understand personally
I mean to each their own, not saying what people enjoy is wrong, if its not hurting anyone, go for it, art is a form of expression!
This doesnt change how i do commissions though, I cant bring myself to half-ass something I'm creating for others.
A job is a job and I'm extremely grateful people even consider getting art from me, I like making people happy.
I think for me personally it just needs to be more than just the usual mindless fucking or weird kinks.
I prefer things with meaning, characters that feel alive instead of just things that feel like empty shells...
I'm, very very unfortunately, someone who relies more on emotions/connections when it comes to creating things...I think that's the lack of something that led to that breakdown and now feel kind of out of place here ever since
I'm not sure if that's ever happened to other artists or if I just ended up weird cuz I dont really fit the usual furry...
On the plus side, it's gotten alittle better.
I've met some wonderful people here and in the Path To Nowhere community where nsfw hasnt been the main topic of every conversation or character and it's been very refreshing.
