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Update 02/14/24
Posted 2 years ago(This is an update to the situation described here)
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[personal/serious]
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I really am so lucky to be supported by so many compassionate souls. Between ko.fi, commissions, and selling collectibles I managed to get pretty close to my overall funding goal!! There are simply not enough words in the world to describe how deeply grateful I am for people's kindness and support. It helped so much. <3
So the big appointment was yesterday. I really don't remember much, lol, which was as advertised. Around 8 AM they gave me three pills, put a blanket on and told me to relax, let me know a few minutes later they were going to start the work, and then... it was 1 PM, five hours later. There was still about another hour's worth of work after that for a different procedure, for which I was awake and aware. I guess the sedation meds were starting to wear off, but they were still pretty potent; as I write this I still feel a bit off and will probably spend the rest of the day coming down from them.
I have a follow-up appointment scheduled for tomorrow. It shouldn't cost me anything. And even if it did, you really couldn't make me worry about it; I'm sore today, but only on account of the cuts on the corners of my mouth and my jaws having been open for upwards of six hours - this morning I had pancakes for breakfast and they went down painlessly!! It feels like forever since I've been able to eat anything (let alone something sweet) without having to worry about pain!!! I'm so glad...
I suppose my only hope is that I don't get ambushed by bad news at the follow-up. If there's anything to tell me, they probably wouldn't have told me yesterday while I was still in a drug-induced stupor, right? I am admittedly still a little worried I will be told I need additional work, but... at least from a financial perspective... I should have a better idea of what to do this time. (It won't be another fundraiser-- that's not fair to you and we all--including myself--only have so much to offer)
Anyway if anyone here happened to contribute in any way, thanks so much again for your kindness ;^; I still have to be careful with what I eat but being able to do something as simple as drink water without having to microwave it first is such a weight off my mind.
Take care of yourself and be well!!
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[personal/serious]
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I really am so lucky to be supported by so many compassionate souls. Between ko.fi, commissions, and selling collectibles I managed to get pretty close to my overall funding goal!! There are simply not enough words in the world to describe how deeply grateful I am for people's kindness and support. It helped so much. <3
So the big appointment was yesterday. I really don't remember much, lol, which was as advertised. Around 8 AM they gave me three pills, put a blanket on and told me to relax, let me know a few minutes later they were going to start the work, and then... it was 1 PM, five hours later. There was still about another hour's worth of work after that for a different procedure, for which I was awake and aware. I guess the sedation meds were starting to wear off, but they were still pretty potent; as I write this I still feel a bit off and will probably spend the rest of the day coming down from them.
I have a follow-up appointment scheduled for tomorrow. It shouldn't cost me anything. And even if it did, you really couldn't make me worry about it; I'm sore today, but only on account of the cuts on the corners of my mouth and my jaws having been open for upwards of six hours - this morning I had pancakes for breakfast and they went down painlessly!! It feels like forever since I've been able to eat anything (let alone something sweet) without having to worry about pain!!! I'm so glad...
I suppose my only hope is that I don't get ambushed by bad news at the follow-up. If there's anything to tell me, they probably wouldn't have told me yesterday while I was still in a drug-induced stupor, right? I am admittedly still a little worried I will be told I need additional work, but... at least from a financial perspective... I should have a better idea of what to do this time. (It won't be another fundraiser-- that's not fair to you and we all--including myself--only have so much to offer)
Anyway if anyone here happened to contribute in any way, thanks so much again for your kindness ;^; I still have to be careful with what I eat but being able to do something as simple as drink water without having to microwave it first is such a weight off my mind.
Take care of yourself and be well!!
TEETH (and fundraiser - ends 02/10/24)
Posted 2 years ago.
***DENTAL FUNDRAISER - OPEN UNTIL 02/10/24***
[personal/serious]
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So I mentioned in the last journal that I was kind of Going Through It with my teeth. That first week in January was rough. I had an appointment the day after and was an enormous, anxious, sorry mess, only made worse by the fact that the office I visited couldn't offer the level of sedation I probably needed. I'm really sensitive in my mouth and they had to do some work then and there to get a handle on the worst of the pain. It didn't solve everything though so I went to not one, but two other offices, and between the three of them it seems they couldn't really agree on what exactly needed to be done to the rest of my teeth to get them under control again-- which sucks-- but I guess there were some commonalities and it ended up being my wallet that made the decision anyway.
The second office did their own evaluation but they quoted me a whopping $10K+ for just a few of my teeth. My whole mouth needs looking at, so to treat everything else it would've been pushing $20K easily. Who has that kind of money just sitting around?? Not me, and it was leaps and bounds higher than what I was expecting, so I went somewhere else. In retrospect, maybe I shouldn't have tried a dental practice set up in a place fancier than any professional building I've ever been to in my life.
The third office-- set up in a much more standard professional suite-- was a lot more thorough in their evaluation and what they ended up quoting me is what I've been raising for (a little over $3K for everything). This is much closer to what I was anticipating... still a lot, yes, but definitely affordable relative to what the second office had given me. I'll be getting work done with them in a few days, which really could not come sooner. It's been an agonizing month and a half since I decided to finally do something about my oral health.
So the short of it is that I'm fundraising a little to try to scrape together as much money as possible to pay for this upcoming appointment. Because I'm being sedated, it has to be paid up front - I can cover most of it myself but need some help for the last mile. Please take a look at what I'm offering if you can!! Links are at the top and bottom of this journal. I'm selling off some of my collectibles, commissions are open, and I'm open for pre-orders on select prints. Thanks for looking!!
I'm mostly confident this won't be my last dental appointment. This is merely the first step. But I've already resolved that if I have to do another big procedure, I will open a line of credit for it. We'll cross that bridge when we get there, you know?
I'm in much better shape now than I was when I published the last journal, enough to be able to point at myself and confidently identify good changes. I've not missed a day of home care since then and intend to keep it that way. I have a night routine now (previously, I never did - just kind of retired to bed when I decided I was tired enough). I've been deliberately avoiding sugar (and by extension, caffeine) so as to not hurt myself, and that in itself has had a positive effect on my diet and the things I cook for myself. So things have, indeed, been on the upswing, and will hopefully continue through the year and beyond.
Thanks for reading <3 I appreciate any and all help!
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***DENTAL FUNDRAISER - OPEN UNTIL 02/10/24***
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***DENTAL FUNDRAISER - OPEN UNTIL 02/10/24***
[personal/serious]
.
.
.
So I mentioned in the last journal that I was kind of Going Through It with my teeth. That first week in January was rough. I had an appointment the day after and was an enormous, anxious, sorry mess, only made worse by the fact that the office I visited couldn't offer the level of sedation I probably needed. I'm really sensitive in my mouth and they had to do some work then and there to get a handle on the worst of the pain. It didn't solve everything though so I went to not one, but two other offices, and between the three of them it seems they couldn't really agree on what exactly needed to be done to the rest of my teeth to get them under control again-- which sucks-- but I guess there were some commonalities and it ended up being my wallet that made the decision anyway.
The second office did their own evaluation but they quoted me a whopping $10K+ for just a few of my teeth. My whole mouth needs looking at, so to treat everything else it would've been pushing $20K easily. Who has that kind of money just sitting around?? Not me, and it was leaps and bounds higher than what I was expecting, so I went somewhere else. In retrospect, maybe I shouldn't have tried a dental practice set up in a place fancier than any professional building I've ever been to in my life.
The third office-- set up in a much more standard professional suite-- was a lot more thorough in their evaluation and what they ended up quoting me is what I've been raising for (a little over $3K for everything). This is much closer to what I was anticipating... still a lot, yes, but definitely affordable relative to what the second office had given me. I'll be getting work done with them in a few days, which really could not come sooner. It's been an agonizing month and a half since I decided to finally do something about my oral health.
So the short of it is that I'm fundraising a little to try to scrape together as much money as possible to pay for this upcoming appointment. Because I'm being sedated, it has to be paid up front - I can cover most of it myself but need some help for the last mile. Please take a look at what I'm offering if you can!! Links are at the top and bottom of this journal. I'm selling off some of my collectibles, commissions are open, and I'm open for pre-orders on select prints. Thanks for looking!!
I'm mostly confident this won't be my last dental appointment. This is merely the first step. But I've already resolved that if I have to do another big procedure, I will open a line of credit for it. We'll cross that bridge when we get there, you know?
I'm in much better shape now than I was when I published the last journal, enough to be able to point at myself and confidently identify good changes. I've not missed a day of home care since then and intend to keep it that way. I have a night routine now (previously, I never did - just kind of retired to bed when I decided I was tired enough). I've been deliberately avoiding sugar (and by extension, caffeine) so as to not hurt myself, and that in itself has had a positive effect on my diet and the things I cook for myself. So things have, indeed, been on the upswing, and will hopefully continue through the year and beyond.
Thanks for reading <3 I appreciate any and all help!
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***DENTAL FUNDRAISER - OPEN UNTIL 02/10/24***
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2024
Posted 2 years agoHappy new year! I hope everyone had a great holiday season. Here's to the new year bringing good tidings.
I would say my 2023 went pretty well, the year ended with an overall recap that amounted to more than the usual "meh," which is always a win, I think! And so I leapt headfirst into 2024 hoping to start getting the same (if not more) out of it, but... I think I maybe leapt in a little too eagerly.
[personal/serious stuff below]
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The one part of me which I have always been extremely ashamed about is my oral health. My overall health is pretty neglected in general, I think, but I spiral very quickly when I think about dental stuff specifically, especially because I know it's entirely my own fault for letting it deteriorate, and somehow on NYE I resolved to kick my own ass to get it addressed. I don't know what finally motivated me to take steps, maybe I was just coasting on that 2023 momentum, but I know things are bad and that I'm at a do-or-die age. And I guess I'm willing to latch another few (financial) ball-and-chains onto my ankles to get it under control... there's a few things that have been very effective at discouraging me from doing anything about this up until now, finances being one of them.
Anyway, I have an appointment set in the very near future and I've been in absolute shambles. I didn't realize just how anxious I could get, I've just had constant butterflies in my stomach and I'm just completely paralyzed by the prospect of extremely bad news. It feels like... I'm finished?? like I'm completely unlovable/unworthy if my mouth is in bad shape?? like I've disappointed people?? which is just so silly, what's done has been done and I can only move forward from here. Saying I have no value because my teeth are poor is like saying nobody likes me because I'm a little overweight. Or because I don't wear the right clothes. That's just not true, and I know that, but apparently I don't know know it.
I recognize I'm catastrophizing bad but I have no idea how to calm down from it. It's hard to when I'm in active pain and potentially more pain and bad news are on the horizon. And I have very few people to confide in because of the whole shame thing.
I guess my hope is that, once the worst of it passes-- diagnoses and treatment plans-- I can relax a little.
On a more positive note, I took a gamble on a new career path a few years ago and it unexpectedly paid off recently. So a lifestyle change is currently in the cards for me and aside from improving my oral health and unshackling one or two financial ball-and-chains, my big 2024 goal is to make it happen. I don't want to stagnate or, even worse, move backwards.
I probably sound a little sad-- and I am-- but I am also a little hopeful. Writing this has helped a bit, helps me not to get completely trapped in self-wallowing. I know I have options if I get financially cornered... commissions, gofundme, selling collector items...
Well. I do hope 2024 treats everyone well... all we can hope for is an okay year, right?
I would say my 2023 went pretty well, the year ended with an overall recap that amounted to more than the usual "meh," which is always a win, I think! And so I leapt headfirst into 2024 hoping to start getting the same (if not more) out of it, but... I think I maybe leapt in a little too eagerly.
[personal/serious stuff below]
.
.
.
.
.
The one part of me which I have always been extremely ashamed about is my oral health. My overall health is pretty neglected in general, I think, but I spiral very quickly when I think about dental stuff specifically, especially because I know it's entirely my own fault for letting it deteriorate, and somehow on NYE I resolved to kick my own ass to get it addressed. I don't know what finally motivated me to take steps, maybe I was just coasting on that 2023 momentum, but I know things are bad and that I'm at a do-or-die age. And I guess I'm willing to latch another few (financial) ball-and-chains onto my ankles to get it under control... there's a few things that have been very effective at discouraging me from doing anything about this up until now, finances being one of them.
Anyway, I have an appointment set in the very near future and I've been in absolute shambles. I didn't realize just how anxious I could get, I've just had constant butterflies in my stomach and I'm just completely paralyzed by the prospect of extremely bad news. It feels like... I'm finished?? like I'm completely unlovable/unworthy if my mouth is in bad shape?? like I've disappointed people?? which is just so silly, what's done has been done and I can only move forward from here. Saying I have no value because my teeth are poor is like saying nobody likes me because I'm a little overweight. Or because I don't wear the right clothes. That's just not true, and I know that, but apparently I don't know know it.
I recognize I'm catastrophizing bad but I have no idea how to calm down from it. It's hard to when I'm in active pain and potentially more pain and bad news are on the horizon. And I have very few people to confide in because of the whole shame thing.
I guess my hope is that, once the worst of it passes-- diagnoses and treatment plans-- I can relax a little.
On a more positive note, I took a gamble on a new career path a few years ago and it unexpectedly paid off recently. So a lifestyle change is currently in the cards for me and aside from improving my oral health and unshackling one or two financial ball-and-chains, my big 2024 goal is to make it happen. I don't want to stagnate or, even worse, move backwards.
I probably sound a little sad-- and I am-- but I am also a little hopeful. Writing this has helped a bit, helps me not to get completely trapped in self-wallowing. I know I have options if I get financially cornered... commissions, gofundme, selling collector items...
Well. I do hope 2024 treats everyone well... all we can hope for is an okay year, right?
??????
Posted 2 years agoturbo-cackling at the last few journals. there was an attempt to re-motivate myself (to establish myself here) but i just couldn't.
i guess i'm sort of trying again? 5 years later?? no promises though!
edit: i am thinking about starting fresh, so i might end up wiping the gallery or moving everything to scraps
i guess i'm sort of trying again? 5 years later?? no promises though!
edit: i am thinking about starting fresh, so i might end up wiping the gallery or moving everything to scraps
