Hello my furry friends,

Things around here have been...crazy? Exhausting? Joyful? Confusing? All of the above & then some.

I haven't been trying to be a snob, invisible or rude, life just seems to have slammed me around a lot in the last few years. I won't bore you with details. but I do want everyone to know that I'm still alive and kicking. I haven't forgotten my furry friends & I miss all the fun times!

I do hope to be more available because I do miss everyone.

Lots of love to all!

HELLO FURRY FRIENDS!!!!

Just wanted to drop a quick note to let my furry buds know that I made it to MegaPlex!!

My hub is with me. You'll know by two (2) things:

1. He loves talking to EVERYONE

2. He's in a wheelchair.

This is his second con & we are both excited!

Can't wait to see everyone!!

(I'm not sure if this is done anymore, but here it goes)

I got home from a wonderful weekend in D.C. I've never been to Fur the 'More & it was a great con!

I flew in Thursday night &  zakrhyno picked me up from airport & then crashed for a few before heading to the con Friday.

Friday: Got there before our room was ready so I waited in line at registration while Zak visited with friends. After I became con legal, I went to check out the dealers area. One of the first table was  foxamoore ! I couldn't resist snapping a couple of pics with him! Then back to wondering about. I was looking at a table & the one next to it caught my eye. I looked up & saw  PeterAndWhitney !! Being a fan of the comic, i could not believe how great it was to meet them face to face! I spent most of Friday exploring everywhere & talking to whoever would listen to me. Lol

Saturday: lots more of this & that. Lol. Helped Zak with his fursuit, chatted with different artist, hung around, watched the fursuit parade, had a good time getting coffee with Whitney, just had an enjoyable time! In the evening, Zak took me to Crystal City, the underground shopping area nearby. Then he took me on my first subway ride EVER! Thankfully there was not a ton of people but it was great! After taking the Metro, we stopped at a mall & grabbed food from the food court. I enjoyed some pizza while Zak went for a sub. After the mall, back to the Metro to the airport to ride the shuttle back. By the time we got back, I was exhausted!! Didn't take me long to fall asleep.

Sunday: Final rounds through the dealers/artists area. Trying to buy cute stuff for friends in Florida. Mingled. Just had a chill day.

Monday: Up early for my full day of travel. Made it home safe & sound but so tired. I hardly did anything but eat a small dinner & went to bed.

And now......time to do that Adulting thing & head to work (boo).

Thanks for the great weekend! Looking forward to going again!!

Good morning my fur friends. I want everyone to know that I'm still around. Life has been a major roller coaster & sometimes it's all I can do to hang on. I'm trying to get back into fandom. Not just to stick my head in to say "Hi", but back for good! Don't be afraid to message me. I want to reconnect with everyone. I've missed you all.

Hey everyone. I hope you are well! I'm feeling so much better than I have in some time!

Well....I guess the big news in my life is I have a boyfriend! Someone who adores me as much as I adore him.

Meet   bluebunny777

Please give him a wonderful furry welcome!!

To show everyone that I am still alive, I'm going to send out cards (and maybe a couple of cookie care packages). If you would like a card from me (and maybe the care package) I will need your address.

Good morning one & all!

First off.....yes, I am still alive.

Second (and really the most important)......THANk YOU!!! Thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou!!! Did I mention Thank you?

As you know, 2016 was a very bad year for me. Almost dying, dealing with surgeries, cancer, chemo, the side effects & so on.....not fun. And even though I wasn't very active, I always had support from my furry friends. And I will be forever grateful for that. There are so many furries that deserve special thanks but for fear of missing any, I will keep it to 4 extra special furries:
  Genesisw &   bobbythornbody both held fundraisers for me. Because of them, enough money was raised that I could focus on getting better without worrying about the bills.

  tonkawolf for helping care for me

and mostly:

  Maximus-Ursus ....let's just say...he was a big help.

2017 has had it ups & downs for me. The big up...I landed an amazing job! I'm a Unit Clerk in the Dietary department for 2 different hospitals. I love love love my job!! The big down...another cancer scare. I haven't been given the all clear yet. But I'm not going to let it get to me.

I stay very busy. Between my job at the hospital & helping Tonka with the food truck, I stay pretty tired.

I'm going to try to be a bit more active, but please forgive me if I seem to disappear. Also, I don't have a computer, so everything is done by phone or tablet.

Anyway....I love you guys so much. Thank you for your love, concern, support, positive vibes, good thoughts, well wishes & everything else!

As many of you know, I'm a giver. Nothing makes me happier than being able to help my friends. Whether it's a cookie, a joke, a smile, an ear to listen, a shoulder to cry on, or even just buying lunch, knowing that someone's day was made a little better because of something I was able to do brings me an incredible sense of joy. I never expect anything in return & very seldom ask for anything.

However, because of my recent medical issues, I humbly ask for help.

A number of friends suggested I set up a Go Fund Me campaign to help with medical & living expenses. So I have.

https://www.gofundme.com/mpnpfxkk

It feels very, very wrong to ask for money. But this is for survival not to blow on something frivolous. And every little bit helps.

I appreciate your help during my time of need.

A gaming stream is being planned for February 13 & 14 to help raise funds. It will be done by my friend Gen. Read about it here: http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/7366813/

I am very blessed to have so many people concerned & wanting to help. I wish I could give each of you a giant Hollie hug. I love you more than words will ever express.

It's now been a full week since my surgery & i thought I would take a minute to let everyone know how things are going.

I am recovering quite nicely. I think the hospital staff is impressed that I'm bouncing back so quickly. But I'm not one to dwell on what has happened. Life is better when you're laughing & there's lots of things to laugh about.

Last Friday ( the 29th ) when I had my surgery, I recall having a barium enema, being told it would take about hour. They were done after 15 minutes. I was back in my room when the doctor came in & said emergency surgery! I will admit, I was a bit scared. I was wheeled into the operating room at 11 am. I kinda remember looking at the clock around 730 pm. Max & Tonka came to see me & made me laugh. The next few days are mashed up in my mind. I received flowers & a bee plush from Neko. Which is so adorable. A friend stopped by on Sunday to see how I was doing. All the while, what I WANT to do is lay in bed & sleep. But instead, I'm up moving around. Shuffling down the hall & doing everything the doctor & nurses are telling me to do.

Monday (the 1st), my daughter Bubbles arrives. I knew she was making the 12 - 14 hour drive from Missouri but she was not alone. She brought one of bestest buds, Shell, with her. It was wonderful to see them both. When the doctor came in on Tuesday, he explained everything to Bubbles. He took out about 18 inches of my intestines. He also took out a lot of blockage & a colon cancer tumor. He said he would have liked to have been able to run a few more tests while I was open, but he wanted to make sure the main issue was taken care of. I had so much much swelling & blockage in my large intestines, that he said I was literally 24 hours from death. If I had waited any longer, my intestines would have ruptured & i would have been a goner. Oh the lectures I got from Bubbles after the doctor told her that.... I suppose I deserved them. Because of the severity of my insides, he had to re-route some of my plumbing. So I now have to learn all about colostomy bags. It's a bit gross & definitely not something I would wish on anyone. But it's only temporary. Probably 2 months but not longer than 6 months. After a couple of months, the doctor will re-evaluate my insides, run more tests to make sure there are no hidden colon cancer guys trying to sabotage me & put me back together. The only thing after that will be the nasty scars & the crazy stories I have about all this. Apparently I had some interesting dreams while on pain meds. Anyway, each day I have been getting stronger. And am back on solid foods. Bubbles & Shell headed back to Missouri this morning. But left knowing I was ok (or as ok as I can be considering everything).

The staples from my surgery will be taken out sometime next week. And I can't work for about 6 weeks. I'm believing that everything will work out. And I'm already being showered with love, prayers & well wishes.

Oh, and to answer the question you want to ask that I haven't really said much about yet....No. At this time I do not have to have any chemotherapy or radiation. But things will be watched closely & if it's needed, it will be done.

I think I've rambled on long enough about everything & nothing. Now that I'm functioning better, I will try to answer any questions or thoughts you might have.

Oh....one more thought, the hospital staff are absolutely amazing, wonderful, caring, loving, and even better then all that! I wish I could find the right adjective to express the praise they deserve. I feel like I have made friends here.

And speaking of friends, I got a special visit from Mini-Max last night. I was so happy to see him. He brought me a wonderful, bright flower display! And a plush ducky holding another plush ducky. Mini-Max & i walked down the hall & he stopped to hug all the nurses to thank them for the great care. I think there might be pictures & possibly video of that.

Ok, this time I'm really done talking. I love you guys so much. I'm getting better & hope to see everyone soon.

You guys are the best! Every "Get Well" wish & prayer just brings me all kinds of joy & happiness!

So yesterday was an emotional day for me. I was so happy the doctor got all the blockage. He said my insides are clean & clear. He said he did his job & now I need.to do my job. His job was to clean me. My job is not to lay abut & let this happen again. He did his job, he got it all. And when he said he *got it all", he got all the cancer. Now I need to recover & not let that news drag me down. Everything has been sent off for testing. And in several months, I will be back to my abnormal self.

Trying to focus on getting better. Not things that will streess me outI.

Anyway, in the near future, I may need you to help me not get down. Or at least don't let me stay there.

Lots of love!

It's been a rough 24 hours.

They removed part of my intestines. Have to have a colospy bag for at least 6 months.

Will be in hospital for another 3 to 7 days.

Ok. Going to try to rest now

Total obstruction. Emergency surgery. Like NOW.

Please pray.

Another 3 to 7 days in the hospital

Update later

Well, I thought I would take a few minutes to give everyone the latest. Some know. Some have bits & pieces. And some don't know anything is wrong. So.....here's what is going on:

Last Friday (January 22, 2016) I began having stomach cramps. Very mild & infrequent. Had eaten a Big Mac. My co-workers could tell I was 100% & let me go about 30 minutes early.

All day Saturday (the 23rd), the pain was getting worse & more intense. Had half of a 6" sub from Subway. After working about 2 hours, the owner sent me home. He told me there was no dying on the line because it involved to much paperwork. Lol.

Sunday, the 24th, massive pain & the vomiting began.

At this point, I would like to say that I work in the food truck 4 days a week & 2 nights a week. I sometimes work in the food trailer once a week (but usually try to catch up on paperwork). I also work 3 nights a weeks at a restaurant doing dishes. And still try to have a social life. So I'm very busy, always on go & not always getting the proper rest I need.

Ok, back to Sunday. Max & Tonka (& myself for that matter) are convinced it's my body's way of telling me that I AM going to rest.

Monday comes, not quite as pukey, but not really eating or drinking anything. Still having horrible abominable pains, but able to keep a little bit of liquids down.

I have no medical insurance, so the thought of going to the doctor scares me. Who wants massive medical bills looming over their head?

Tuesday arrives & things are getting the tiniest bit better. I had a yogurt & didn't throw up. And the pain is in one spot.

Wednesday, the 27th & I'm ready for food. Keep in mind I have had very little intake, but I feel the best I had in days. Max got me a McDonald's cheeseburger & tea for lunch (just like I had asked for). I ate about half & took a nap. Woke up & had a yogurt. Excited because all is staying down. Max leaves to work my shift in the food truck & BAM! The vomiting returns. The pain worse than ever. I somehow manage to fall asleep. When I wake up about 3 hours later, I decide something is truly wrong. I hobble to the living room where Tonka is playing on his computer & politely as possible asks if he would take me to the ER. I don't really remember much after that. Other then more vomiting & pain. After several tests, I was told I had major blockage. I believe in my intestines.

At this point of my life, I've been pretty healthy. No major anythings, so trying to figure out the cause/source of this....not fun.

In the ER, they tried to stick an NG tube down me (I think that is what it is called). It goes up your nose, down the back of your throat & into your belly. It's suppose to help relieve the pressure. That was AWFUL! The pain of that tube put to shame the abdominal pains I was having. I can only imagine what a mess I was when Max & Tonka came back in. They have been great!! They finally tell me that I am being admitted because I will need to talk to the surgeon on Thursday morning. The guys finally head home & I'm moved to a regular room.

Thursday, the 28th, still having pain. Still very weak. The surgeon comes in, asks why I don't have the tube in my nose. I tell him they were unable to get it in. He said I would have to suck up the pain & deal with it. Otherwise, the pressure in my gut would continue to grow & i would end up with a colospy bag for life. I was taken for more scans & tests. A nurse came in to put the tube in. Can I just say, not a fun experience? The whole time she's shoving, I'm vomiting. Which, oddly enough, is the main thing that helped the tube go down. So now, I've got this tube in belly via my nose. It is uncomfortable. It is painful. It is gagging me. But, appears to be doing its job. All day Thursday, I lay in bed. I still hurt. Another doctor comes to visit. He tells me that they are going to try a couple of things & if it works, hurray, if not, surgery to remove the blockage.

So, it is now around 515 in the morning, Friday, January 29th, 2016. I'm scheduled for a contrast enema this morning. And then....I don't know.

I will try to post something this afternoon.

I appreciate all the positive thoughts & prayers.

I guess that brings this situation up to date.

I have so much to say & talk about. I hope I don't forget anything.

First, I want to say that I am still alive. I know I have been gone for several months now. But real life does that to me now & then.

I am sad to say that because real life has handed me a shitstorm lately, I will not be able to MFF. I am very down about this. I look forward to going every year & love visiting with all my friends there. But there is no way I can afford the cost or the time off.

Tonka & I have been working hard on our food truck. I honestly never thought I would be work in a food truck, much less be part owner of one. Business is finally getting better but it's been a rough few months. Starting next week, we will be on two different military bases. Although business is improving, it's not to the point that I can survive on that income alone. So, I am still working at Tucker Duke's. ( http://www.tuckerdukeslunchbox.com/#about ) I enjoy it, but between the food truck & TD's, I'm exhausted most days.

I haven't been going to the gym with Max & Tonka on a regular basis any longer, but I'm still getting exercise & losing weight. I now weigh LESS then I did in high school. (Which was a long time ago)

I love living in Florida & do not regret the move at all! I do miss my friends & family in Missouri, but with today's technology, it's not so bad.

Ok, anyone that really knows me, knows that I find the moon very fascinating. I enjoy just staring at it. Tonight's (November 25, 2015) full moon is called the Mourning Moon & as I was reading about it, my thoughts were "What timing!" (I will explain shortly). Below is a short article I read about it:

"According to Pagan traditions, the Mourning Moon is meant to signify a time of evolution. As this moon rises in the sky, it is recommended that we let go of the baggage we’ve been holding on to. We must cleanse ourselves as we reflect on this year’s happenings. Specifically, we must let go of anything that’s weighing us down before the new year begins.

If you’d like to awaken your inner witch or wizard, there are several cleansing rituals you can perform beneath this Mourning Moon. First, think of all the past worries and problems you want to let go of. This can be something as simple as the splurge-y dress you bought yesterday that maybe you shouldn’t have bought yesterday, or as complex as a difficult breakup. Then, you can write all these memories down on a piece of paper and submerge it in a cup of water (since this element is connected to the Mourning Moon). That way you’re literally cleansing yourself of past baggage.

After you finish with your cleansing ritual, you can then write a list of all the new habits and aspirations you wish to explore during the new year. Place this list where you’ll see it on a regular basis – on your bathroom mirror, over your desk, next to your bed, on your car’s dashboard. You can even make it your phone’s background. If you want to solidify these future promises to yourself, you can acquire Lapiz Lazuli, Turquoise, and Topaz stones – which are associated with the Mourning Moon – and carry them around as a reminder.

The Farmer’s Almanac states that today's (November 25, 2015) moon will be present at 5:44 p.m. EST. As the moon begins to rise, enable yourself to forgive, to find peace, and to release all that’s been bothering you this past year. Write down all your worries or simply imagine them in your head. Then, allow them to dissolve in a glass of water. Imagine them flowing down a drain. Afterward, give yourself the freedom to feel transformed.

Lastly, look up at the Mourning Moon. Believe that it’s truly shining a light on the dark moments of your past and paving the way for a bright future."

Ok, now that you know a little bit about the Mourning Moon, let me explain the timing factor (like I promised). Today, November 25, 2015, the judge signed all the papers and I am no longer a married fur. Yes, Trebonius & I are offically divorced. So, the timing of the Mourning Moon is uncanny to me. I guess I need to cleanse myself of the last 22 years of my life. He is back in Missouri while I have decided to stay in Florida. He is moving on with his life & I will be doing the same.

Oh, during my move, I seemed to have misplaced one of my address books. I probably won't be sending out cookies this (to costly at the moment), but I will be sending out Christmas cards. So, it you would like a card from me, note me to make sure I have an address for you.

So, a quick summary:

1. Still alive
2. No MFF
3. Working TONS
4. Exercising, no gym but still losing weight
5. Live in Florida now
6. The Mourning Moon's timing
7. Divorce finalized today.
8. Need addresses to send out cards.

Well, according to my favorite cousin, today is the day that I turn "old"!

Level 45 & going strong! Hehehe.

The guys (Max, Tonka & Treb) took me out for pizza, drinks & bowling last night! Bowled the best 3 games of my life! I think the guys let me win. Hehehe. But had a fantastic time!

I got up early & came out to my quiet spot to reflect on life & everything else. And I just want to say that I am so blessed! I may not be rich, but I have so many things money can not buy! Wonderful friends! How I wish I could hug each & every one of you! In every struggle, you guys are there. Watching my back, making sure that when I stumble, I don't stay down! For that, I am forever thankful! As my life changes yet again, I am comforted in knowing that you are there for me!

Anyway, HAPPY BIRTHDAY to me! Hehehe

So, I'm thinking about getting personalized license plates for my green Kia Soul. I know when I go there I have to have a list. So....what do you think it should say?

Just a quick update on my crazy life. I want others to hear stuff from me instead of getting WRONG information from other sources.

Treb & I are officially separating. We've been together for a long time but are having some issues that are no one else's business!! We are still friends & still care about each other very much. Please do not trash or attack either of us. We are both at fault & both to blame.

He will be moving back to Missouri very soon & I will staying in Florida.

I think that sums it up

Why not? I've never done one. So, whattcha wanna know?

Well, after much difficulty (the weather),  Trebonius & I finally made it to our new home. Still unpacking & still trying to adjust to everything, but happy to be here.

Also, for those who have been asking, yes. I am going to MegaPlex in July. In fact, just registered. So if you're planning on going, I will see you there.

That's all for now. But more later

Yep. Moving.

I know I haven't been around much lately. And this week will be no different. Been packing, saying goodbye to family & friends & preparing for the move.

By this time next week, I should be trying to settle into a smaller home (with lots less of my stuff) & readjusting to a new life.

When life gets back to "normal", I will be back around

Time is zipping past much quicker than I realized.

Christmas is right around the corner. And, as much as I would like to be able to send out cookie care package this year, I won't be able to. At this time, I simply can not afford the postage.

BUT, I still will be sending out Christmas cards. I looked through my address book, and I know that some have moved since last year. If you would like a card from me, please note me your address.

It's about 15 after 5 in the morning, my car is packed, my shower taken, just trying to make sure I have everything before I make the 8ish hour drive to MFF! Can't wait to see & hug my friends there!!

That's all for now.

I am so thankful for all of you!!

Well, I've been helping Sumr pack up the office. The owner has come down to help pack up stuff. We have 6 or 7 old computers that sorta work when they want to. The owner told us to just toss them. But I've been thinking about going back to school to learn how to fix them. So....I was told I could have them & work on them. This could be fun. That's all for now.

So.....got some news just a few minutes ago.

Before I say anything, please don't feel sorry for me. Or think I am gonna be down & out.

As you may know, I work at a marketing research company. I love my job & think it's the best one EVER!! However, work has been really really really slow the last year or so. Oh, we have times when we are swamped. But more often than not, very slow. The owners from Chicago called just a little bit ago. They are shutting this office down. Which means....I will soon be unemployed. I am saddened by this. This has been a great job.

That's all I'm going to say now. I'm sure I'll write more later.