Please excuse you for a minute while I do some ranting & man-bashing!!!

I really hate how people judge others by outward appearances! I am by no means super model material. And I never have been! Like many, I could stand to shed a few pounds (which I have been). I've spent many, many years having low self-esteem & poor body imagine. I'm sure you might find that difficult to believe because now I try to look for the positive side & best in everyone. I don't care if you weigh 65 pounds or 6,000 pounds, you are still a person that deserves to be seen in some way other than your exterior.

I normally do not rant about this stuff, I keep it bottled up & use it to motivate me in other ways. However, my teenager daughter called me tonight on her way from a friend's birthday party. She wanted to know why she had to be so fat. Why couldn't guys like her for who she is? Why can't guys look at her without seeing a fat girl that they might be able to get a piece of ass from? What made her such a horrible creature that her first "boyfriend" can't stand to be around her unless HE wants something? Hearing her ask me these things, listening to her cry, wanting answers about a MESSED society, absolutely broke my heart!

At this moment in time, I want to find those egotistical, better-than-you-are pieces of shit & start cutting off their nuts!!

I know that big women are just as beautiful (if not more so in many cases) than super-model size twigs!!

Anyway, I'm done ranting for now. I'm super pissed off at the world & I'm going for a walk or something to chill out!

Which Hotel are you staying at?
Con Hotell

How are you traveling?
Driving.

When will you arrive?
Not sure. Depends on work. Either Thursday evening or Friday morning/afternoon

Who are you rooming with?
My favorite playthings!  Tonka_Wolf &  Maximus-Ursus

Where will you be?
Where ever Tonka & Max are. I'm sure to be near them. Camera going

How is the best way to find you?
Look for the big muscle wolf & huge blue bear

Are there any panels you might be attending?
Not sure. Whatever tickles my fancy

What do you look like?
Brown hair (usually braided), pudgy female wearing a Hawaiian shirt & probably laughing at nothing!

What is your gender?
Female

How old are you?
44 (yes, I'm old).

How tall are you?
5ft 5in

Can I talk to you?
Please do! I don't bite (or at least not when I first meet you)

Can I hug and/or snuggle you?
I LOOOOOOOOVE hugs!!!

Are you nice?
I always try to be

Are you fursuiting?
Not me. I'm just a handler

If I see you, how should I get your attention?
Saying "HEY Hollie" or maybe tapping me on the shoulder

What/where will you be eating?
What? Food of some kind. Where? Where the food is. Maybe Tonka will get me some soup

When will you be leaving?
Monday morning.

Wow! I just realized that I had a ton of art that I have never posted.

So, my goal for the next week (or however long it takes) is to post one piece of art every day that I have had for a while but failed to post yet.

I have some wonderful arts from great artists & I'm not sure why I haven't posted them before.

Anyway, I would like to send my thanks in advance for liking the art. It's so fun to see how each artist interprets Hollie!! I love them all!

Anyway, I just thought I would give everyone fail warning

Well, I've been back from vacation over a week now. I still very exhausted. But I'm slowly recovering. This body just doesn't bounce back like it use to.

I have been having really bad gut cramps for a while. At first it was just now & then. Then a little more often. And now, a non-stop pain.

I've been to the doctor. He's running a whole slew of blood & urine test.

So far, some things look great. Other things, well, could be better.

If I seem out of it or not as happy/hyper as before, please don't take it personally.

Had an amazing time at MegaPlex. I think I need a vacation from my vacation.

Left Tuesday evening & drove all night to get to Tonka's. Had some major detours in Alabama. But finally made it. Had breakfast, a nap & hung around.

Headed to Orlando on Thursday. But stopped to visit a friend before arriving at the hotel.

Got there, and, well, everything is sorta a blur. I know I hugged lots of friends. Got my room. Chauffeured people & furs to & from bowling. Stopped at Wendy's & had the worst drive through experience ever. Who knew that it would take more than 30 mins to get a drive thru order?!?

Friday - Walmart trip with KittyBird. Something else with others. A trip to a shooting range. I am not good at that at all. But it was fun. More stuff & things.

Saturday - Walked to Denny's with a bunch of friends. Had breakfast noms (YUMMY). Did more stuff. Swam a bit. Then went to see the Orlando Predators arena football game!! Max, Tonka & Tibor got to fursuit during the tailgate party. Treb & I followed them around, took tons of pictures & video. I'm sure you will be able to find them online soon. (I made sure that both Max & Tonka had all the copies of everything).

Sunday - Did more stuff. Watched Rhubarb & Cosmik's show! Did a photoshoot with the Furry Predators. Enjoyed the Little Tales get together. Had yummy noms & lots of fun conversations. Uncle Kage graced our get-together & enjoyed chocolates. hehehe That was amusing. Did other stuff & crashed. Then was awaken by Mini-Max. I failed to realize that he had not had his bathtime yet. So got him squeaky clean before chasin him through the hallways. (Yes, there are pictures & videos of that too).

Monday - Said good bye to everyone & headed back to Tonka's to crash for the night.

Tuesday - Left Tonka's around 6:30 in the morning & made it home around 9 pm.

Wednesday (today) - Went to work, unaware that we got several new jobs in while I was gone. And have been in zombie mode all day.


I hada great time (even if I can't remember a darn thing right now). I have tons of pictures & videos, so I will be able to look back & smile at the craziness.

That's all for now.

Well, MegaPlex is so close I can almost taste it!! I'm not really going to do any offical MegaPlex meme. I'll just give you the basics:

I'm traveling by 2000 Dodge Durango (it's green)!

Leaving Missouri either Tuesday evening or early Wednesday morning (depends on when Treb gets off work)

Traveling there with  Trebonius (My real life hubby)

Our first stop will be to visit with  Tonka_Wolf &  Maximus-Ursus. Gonna crash there before tackling the rest of the trip.

Arriving sometime Thursday.

Rooming with &  Madcat75

I don't do any type of art. But I do make cookies (& will have a supply of them) and I am willing to trade that way.

I am very much a hugger not a shaker. I love giving & receiving hugs.

How to find me? Look for my Hawaiian shirt. Or someone with lots of cookies. Or someone snapping pictures like crazy (that is NOT  wildbilltx. He is the picture king!!!). Or someone who is LITERALLY rolling on the floor laughing.

I'm going to try to do a ton of stuff while I'm there. I know I have commitments on Thursday evening, Saturday evening & Sunday evening. Otherwise, I'm going to try to cram as much fun as possible in the time I am there.

Hanging with? Treb, Mad, Tonka, Max, the LittleTales gang, RhurbarbBear & Cosmik, and whoever else can stand the sounds on me laughing hysterically at NOTHING!!!

I'm told I'm easy to talk to, so say HI!! I won't bite! (Well, at least not the first time I meet you)

Fursuiting? Not me. I don't have one. But I often "handle" 2 very large musclefurs!!

If you wanna reach me, I will have my cell phone with me all the time. If you don't have my number but would like it, note me. I text among all the other normal messaging services.

I think that's all for now! I look forward to seeing my old friends & making brand new ones!! See you soon!!

Guess I'm old. Or at least that's what my cousin told me.

Hey, as many of you know, I am planning on attending MegaPlex in July. If everything goes according to plan, one of my good friends will be traveling with me. She very much would like to go fishing while in Florida. So....I thought I would post a quick journal asking if anyone might be interested in doing some fishing at that time. You can reply here or note me or email me at holliehyena@gmail.com.

I have my mini sketch book back. It is now a world traveler!! It recently came home from the Netherlands!!

If you are not familiar with what I am referring to, please read: http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/3908401/

If you are interested (or still interested) in drawing in it, let me know.

As soon I scan the new stuff, I will be sending it on to the next victim, err, person very soon!!!

Thank you to all who have already drawn in it. And thank you to everyone that wants to be a part of this!

Went with Treb to see the surgeon this morning. So here's the latest.

His wrist is looking good. The elbow is not good. He has surgery on it in the morning (Thursday, April 17, 2014).

Ok. The yucky news: He will be off work for another 3 months. After 15 days, he's already going stir crazy. 3 months & we may kill each other!! (Anyone wanna adopt a green hyena for a few months????)

Now....the good news!!! (And yes, there is good news) The driver that pulled out in from of him is claiming fault for the accident! Their insurance company called & said they would be covering all medical bills, the repair of the bike AND lost wages. I've had a couple of people tell me that we need to make sure that we add in the extra stuff, ie: new helmet, cost of the clothes the EMTs cut off of him, gas to & from the doctors, the time I have to take off of work.....so I guess I will be making a list of this stuff (oh yay).

So that's the latest. Some stress is going down, other stress is going up.

But I really want to thank everyone that has sent good thoughts, prayers, notes, well wishes or even taken the time to read what's going on. It's because of all of you that I know I can get through whatever life decides to throw at me!

I'm so glad to day is over. It could've been better, it could've been worse.

Got to the surgery center at 7:45 this morning for an intense game of "Hurry Up & Wait"! They finally took him to a room around 10:00 am. More "HU&W"! Sometime after 11:30 they finally took him away. Rushed up to grab some food & back down to wait for the doctor. He said 40 to 45 mins. It was almost an hour. Talk about starting to panic.

Ok...here's what you really want to know.....what the doctor said:

He repaired Treb's right wrist. While he was there, he checked out Treb's elbow. Sadly there is several torn ligaments. So, he will have an MRI & another surgery. Not sure when that will be. Also, there are some more torn ligaments close to where the broken bones were (at least i think it was ligament, it may have been tendons) that can not be repaired by surgery. Only by immobilization. He goes back in about 2 weeks.

Finally got ahold of his work's benefit department. Bad news, no short term disability. But he does have some sick leave.

He went home with his parents for the night. Someone has to be with him for the next 24 hours. And if he were to come home, i would have to take another day off work. And since there is little to no income from him, I really have no choice but to try to work as much as I will be allowed.

So that was my April Fools Day. I wish at least some of the last week had been a joke, but all is true.

Took Treb to see the surgeon this morning. So here's the latest:

Surgery is tomorrow (Tuesday, April 1). He has to have a plate & pins put in. The surgeon also said he has elbow damage but it may be more than a week before it shows up. I don't quite understand, but ok.

Ok, now the extra, super sucky crap: He'll be off work for at least 4 weeks to recover (not sure if his job has temporary disability, we are looking into that). And the insurance will pay for quite a bit, but still have a huge amount to pay on top of out regular bills. The next couple of months will be interesting.

Anyway, thanks for the good wishes & prayers.

Ok, so last night I was home from work, washing some fruit when I realized I had missed a call. I was listening to the voice message when my phone rang again. I answered it & it was a nurse in the ER to tell me that Treb (my rl hub) was there. As you may or may not know, 2 weeks ago he was there because of his heart - which turned out to not be a heart attack, but not sure what it was. ANYWAY, he had had a motorcycle, but sold it & bought a better/newer bike. He was heading home from picking it up, when a car pulled out in front of him. He layed the bike down in order to avoid being hit by the car. I haven't seen the bik yet, but I've been told it's fine. Treb was taken to the ER by ambulance. He has a broken arm (which will require surgery) & road rash. Thankfully no damage to his neck, back or spine. We go see the surgeon on Monday morning. I have no idea how long he will be off work.

I'm still aiming for MegaPlex in July in Florida. But things are becoming more & more difficult. I will keep everyone posted.

I appreciate my friends so much. Thanks for being there for me

If at all possible, Please help out my dear friend  kittybird and her husband  derpdraggy pay for some unexpected medical bills the have recieved recently. All the details are here. Thanks for reading!

http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/5600222

I'm going to Furry Fiesta!!!

That is all.....

I have been thinking about this journal for several weeks. There are things that have happened to me and things that have happened to some friends. Nothing horrible or life threatening. Just sad.

Many of you know how I feel about friends. Friends are extremely important. Actually, more important than family. You are born into a family, you have no choice who your parents are or siblings. But with friends, you/they choose one another.

Because of this, losing a friend (physically by death or even just an emotional parting of ways) hurts in incredible ways. Being friends means so much.

I almost have no words to describe the love, compassion & care that I have for the people I am lucky enough to call "Friend". And because of this, when one of them walks out of my life, they take a part of me that I can never have back. I always feel that I have failed. That this parting is because of me. And I wish I knew what I had done that caused them to cut that bond that meant so much to me. The pain it causes is more than emotional. It's a physical pain. As bad as being punched in the gut.

Recently I have seen people walking away or turning their backs on people they had called "Friend". This is incredibly sad & heart-breaking.

There are certain people that I am thinking of (and no I won't say who, or confirm or deny). I wish I could express how bad I feel for others & myself.

There is no need to comment. I know I am loved. I am just rambling about a sad situation that has and is causing pain.

A. AVAILABLE-
For friendship

B- BIRTHDAY
July 15th

C- CRUSHING ON-
Yep I have a crush on someone :D

D- DRINK YOU LAST HAD-
Water

E- EASIEST PERSON/People TO TALK TO-
Hmmm.....Sumr, Madcat, beagle, Max, Tonka

F- FAVORITE SONG-
Today? Hmmm.....not sure.

G- GUMMY BEARS OR GUMMY WORMS
Bears!

H- HOMETOWN-
Ozark, Missouri, USA

I- IN LOVE WITH-
My friends!!

J- JOB
Marketing Research.

K- KILLED SOMEONE
Not in real life. (Have wanted to though)

L- LONGEST CAR RIDE-
Over 24 hours

M- MILKSHAKE FLAVOR-
Strawberry

N- NUMBER OF SIBLINGS
2 brothers, both older (1 alive & 1 deceased)

O- ONE WISH
To be able to meet my online friends in person

P- PERSON YOU CALLED LAST
On the phone? Probably the lawyer. On Skype? Madcat

Q- QUIET EVENING OR PARTY NIGHT
Today? Quiet evening. There are times I like to party

R- REASON TO SMILE
Talking to my friends on Skype and Facebook.

S- SONG YOU LAST SANG
The theme song from Underdog (the cartoon)

T- TIME YOU WOKE UP
About 7 am (which is late for me)

U- UNDERWEAR COLOR
Purple

V- VEGETABLE
Peas

W- WORST HABIT
I bite my nails A LOT

X- X-RAY YOU'VE HAD
Several. My mouth. My butt (I shattered my tailbone)

Y- YOUR OPINION OF THIS MEME
odd

Z- ZODIAC SIGN
Cancer/ Moon Child & born in the year of the Dog

Just to let everyone know, I changed my cell phone number the other day. If you want to text & need my new number, feel free to note me.

Now that December is here, I am working on sending out cards & goodies. If you would like to receive something from me, I need to make sure that I have your address. I do have a number of addresses. But just to be sure, please note me your mailing information.

I want to make sure that my friends that have never had a cookie-care package from me get them. SO, if you want some & never have tasted them, please make sure you send me the info.

I may note you if I have questions or comments.

I am thankful for all the wonderful friends that I have here. I am blessed beyond compare!!! I don't know if I express my love for you all enough! I always try.

I'm starting to dislike holidays more & more. I am thankful for my family & sad that many are gone.

RANT - I found out today that, apparently, my parent's house was sold by the mortgage company last week. The only person that knew was my nephew & I guess he only knew the day before it was sold. I don't know what can be done. My brother is going to call a lawyer. I'm gonna try to call the mortgage company. My nephew is going to start getting ready to sell all my parent's possessions. Depending on the way the calls go, my brother is gonna try to call the guy that bought the house & try to re-buy it. No idea what is going to happen, but whatever happens, happens.

I really think that next year, I'm gonna for-go any & all holidays. I can't stand much more of this crap.

I'm home. I survived. How, I'm not sure.

It was great to put faces with names.

I gave out lots of hugs & cookies. I hope everyone enjoyed them.

Anyway, lots happened, but my brain is mush right now.

Bound? What?  SumrSloth & I are already here!!! Got here about 3:30 this morning. Thankfully, a big blue bear took pity on us & let us sleep in his room. A big thank you to furries we annoyed at odd hours to help keep us awake!!!

Looking forward to seeing everyone.

My con goals?? Hmmm.....passing out cookies. Getting/giving tons of hugs. Getting more art. And the number one goal......making sure Sumr has the greatest time of her life!!!!! (She has to see her cancer doctors on Friday.....so hoping for a positive report. I'll make sure to keep everyone posted)

Anyway, I'm here. I don't bite, so talk to me!

Life is life. Some good days, some bad days. But I still try to keep a positive attitude overall.

Some of the crappy crap stuff going on concerns my parents' house that my nephew lives in. He's behind on the payments the mortgage company calls me 3 to 5 times a week. Sometimes as many as 4 times a day. It doesn't matter what I say to them, how often I answer or talk to them. I told them that it's craziness to harass me so much. They don't care. Ok, done with that rant.

As you may recall, I recently went up Chicago way with Sumr to hear what the cancer doctors had to say. The reports were overall positive. They told her that it would appear that she only has about a 5% chance of the cancer coming back. She is going to radiation. In fact, she started it today. On the bright side of it, she does get to do the treatments here, instead of 10 hours away. She has one today, one next week & two the following week & then she's all done!!

Also, while we were there, we hopped over an hour or so to visit, Maximus-Ursus, TipToe, Syn & Hallan. Went out to dinner with them, laughed!! Got attacked by a picture!! Shared a drink & laughed some more!!! Thanks guys for the wonderful night!!!

Thinking back to visiting the doctors leads me into this: When Sumr has to go back tot he Chicago area for her check up, she made the appointments for the Friday of MFF!!! Which means.....she & I will be there!! Super excited to go. Super excited she's going!! We will be there on Thursday & leaving on Sunday. MFF will be her first con. So I'm looking forward to introducing her to my friends!!! I'm also believing that her check up reports will be super positive!!!! (Please hope, pray & send all sort of positive vibes for that!!)

Which reminds me of one other thing I wanted to say about MFF! When I was on vacation in July, I got my little artist sketch book back. ( http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/3908401/ ) I will have it at MFF & if you would like to draw you & me in it, I would love for you to!!! I know that last year there was a couple of artist that were interested, but I didn't have it back. Just let me know.

Finally, I just want to say that I love you guys so much!! Everytime I get even a little down, someone is right there to remind of why life is wonderful. It's because of you!! I could never say thank you enough for all the love. Even though there are not enough words, my heart is filled with my much love!!! Please don't ever change

This is just a quick journal to let you know how I am (I'm fine) & what I'm doing (causing mischief & mayhem wherever I go).

Actually, I'm currently in the Chicago area with my buddy Sumr. As you may remember, she had cancer. And had to come back for medical follow ups & consolations.

We arrived here late Monday night. And will be leaving either tomorrow afternoon or Thursday morning (depending on what the doctor tomorrow says).

She has therapy this afternoon & then we are going to drive up to visit Maximus & TipToe.

And just to let everyone know, the doctors have been quite impressed with her recovery. The restrictions have been lifted & she is able to resume 'normal' living. Tomorrow she will be talking to the radiologist to determine if she need radiation. And if so, how much, how long, how often, if it has to be done at the Cancer center or if it can be done back home......still so many questions, but things are looking great!!

Well, very soon, I will be heading to MFM!! This will be my third year going and I'm looking forward to it!!!

If you're going to be there, you will find me with my super bestest goodest friends:  Maximus-Ursus &  Tonka_Wolf!! I will be rooming with them & trying to keep them out of trouble!!!