This New Year has come with a lot of firsts, along with following up a lot of lasts of the previous year. In exactly 7 months, I have lost two dogs to things that shouldn't have happened, but did anyway. My New Year's eve was coping with having my one dog put down that morning. My heart hurts, and I'm still working through it. I've also been through back surgery for a disc herniation that reherniated right after the surgery, meaning I'm probably going to wind up going back under the knife for a second surgery. I lost two weeks of work because of the first surgery, meaning my mate and I are tight on money, so a second surgery is just going to hurt our wallets more. Then there's the fact that 6 months of planning my wedding dress creation with a particular company recently because their studio was flooded.

A lot of negatives have been happening, but even while I have realized the roller coaster has taken a deep plunge, I have also realized some other things:

-This is my last New Year's as a single fur =) next New Year's, I will be a married fur!
-I have exactly 6 months and 8 days from today before I get married!
-I found another dressmaker to make my wedding dress, and she has already given me more ideas than the last dressmaker, and plans on putting more work into this dress than the last company
-I have no idea how certain things are going to get paid for right now

Not sure what's to come yet, but hopefully it'll be pain free soon, and less bridezilla, more happy ever after.

TL;DR: lots of bad shit happening, but hey, I'm getting married!

July 9, 2016

Figured I might as well hop on the bandwagon, despite the fact that I bet no one will read this XD

Where are you staying?
-Westin

What day are you getting there?
-Early-ish Wednesday

Who will you be rooming with?
-My mate , and the amazing and

Who will you hang out with during the convention?
-Mostly my mate, but we're up for additions to our little group occasionally =3

Are there any panels you might be attending?
-As a definite right now, Opening Ceremonies, Uncle Kage's Story Hour, 2 the Ranting Gryphon, Kage/2-gether Charity Show, and Closing Ceremonies. Other than that, it's up in the air.

Are you attending any stage or public performances?
-I'll be behind the scenes with my mate helping run the Masquerade, but otherwise probably not

Will you be suiting?
-Yes ^^ Although whether I'll have my new suit, or if I'll be using the old one, I don't know yet

How old are you?
-23

How tall are you?
-About 5' 8"

Are you taken? Are you looking for a mate?
-I am happily taken, and I don't plan on changing that. I'm not looking to add anyone to the relationship either =3

Can I talk to you?
-Of course ^^ What's better than striking up random conversations?!

Can I touch you?
-Depends on the touching...Hugs are fine as long as you ask first, those that I actually know, and know me, know where the line is for other things. So get to know me before trying other kinds of touching!

How can I find you?
-I have Facebook Messenger, Skype, YIM, AIM and texting all on my phone. I'll easily give out my Skype, AIM and YIM, but I have to at least somewhat know you before giving you my Facebook or texting. If in doubt, ask me! =)

Can I visit your room?
-Please ask beforehand, but I don't mind occasional visitors as long as I'm there ^^

Can I buy you drinks?
-Hell yes <.< As long as they're in a bar/food environment, or closed when you hand them to me (unless I know you well)

Can I give you stuff?
-Please and thank you? XD But seriously, I adore free stuff, since I can't always afford everything I want/need

Can I hug or snuggle with you?
-Hugs are great. Snuggles are reserved for a certain drox. Sorry!

What about more intimate stuff?
-Uhm. No. Just no.

What’s your goal for the con this year?
-To have a blast, to meet up with a bunch of friends I haven't seen in forever, and to meet new friends!

Are you nice?
-I try to be o.o But if you cross my line of no return, you're in trouble

How long are you going?
-Early Wednesday to Closing Ceremonies Sunday night

If I see you, how should I get your attention?
-Call Icy, Wave at me, Poke me (but beware, I'm not ticklish), I have no idea? lol

Where will you be most of the time during the days?
-That is unknown in all honesty. I might in the Dealer's Den, in the Artist's Alley, out getting food, hanging with friends in a random corner, etc.

What/where will you be eating?
-Hoping to hit Furnando's and Tonic's at the least. Other than that...give me ideas? Haha

Can I come with you for food/fun etc?
-If my mate (and anyone else I'm with at the time) doesn't mind, then I don't mind =3 Just make sure you have money, cuz I can't afford to pay for anyone else @-@

Can I take your picture?
-Please ask me first, especially if I'm out of suit. I'm not really good with human pictures XD But still ask in suit as well, although the answer will probably be YES 99% of the time =3

So I need opinions and suggestions! My sister is graduating from high school in about two weeks (heaven help the world @-@). She's an amazing budding artist, something I really only just found out last night from my mom since I now live 500 miles away ._. She's been put down and all at school because they don't think she's up to snuff with her art, so I want to get her a graduation gift that will help rekindle her love for drawing.

Now, my main problem here is, at school she has been using Prismacolor Premier colored pencils. I want to know if it would be easy enough for her to get used to using Scholar pencils instead of Premier. There are two main reasons for this: 1. I'm afraid to have Premier pencils shipped because of how well-known they are to have their lead break, and Scholar pencil lead is a bit harder; 2. Scholar pencils are slightly cheaper than Premier. And where is the cheapest place to find either of these pencils?

TL;DR
1. How easy is it for an artist used to using Prismacolor Premier pencils to switch to using Prismacolor Scholar pencils?

2. Where's the cheapest place to get a 48 count set of Prismacolor pencils from?

Does anyone have, or know anyone that has, an old Kindle, Nook, or some sort of electronic book reader (besides an iPod or phone or whatever) that they don't want or need anymore, and might be willing to give away or sell for cheap? It's a bit harder for me to take larger books to work, as my locker is only so big, and I have to fit my bag and my coat in it. I don't need one of these new-fangled Kindles or Nooks or whatever that are worth well over $100, just something that I can read digital books off of .____.

Any help would be appreciated!

~Step 1~
Make a post in your journal containing your list of 10 holiday wishes. The wishes can be anything at all, from simple to really big.
The important thing is, make sure these wishes are things you really, truly want.

If you wish for real-life things, make sure you include some sort of contact info in your post, whether it's your address or just
your email address where folks could get in touch with you.

~Step 2~
Surf around other lists to see who has posted their list. If you see a wish you can grant, and it's in your heart to do so, make
someone's wish come true. Sometimes someone's trash is another's treasure, and if you have a leather jacket you don't want or
a gift certificate you won't use--or even know where you could get someone's dream for free--do it. You needn't spend money
on these wishes unless you want to. The point isn't to put people out, it's to provide everyone a chance to be someone else's
holiday elf--to spread the joy. Gifts can be made anonymously or not--it's your call. There are no rules with this project, no
guarantees, and no strings attached. Just...wish, and it might come true. Give, and you might receive. And you'll have the joy of
knowing you made someone's holiday special!


~Step 3~
The List

Paypal: icewerewolf90[at]aim.com
Address: Note Me!

1. Money/Gift cards - for clothes, food and stuffs

2. Gift art - I have a new sona design, so I need moar arts of it! <3

3. Couple art of my mate and I~

4. Couple's icons (my mate and I need some new icons ;w; I've tried looking, but I fail D: )

5. Wolf related paraphernalia - I love wolves...so, plushies, pictures, wolf items, etc.!

6. A PS4 <.< Okay, I doubt this'll happen, but it's nice to dream XD

7. Kingdom Hearts stuff! I'm a HUUUUGE fan, like epic nerd/geek...I would especially love an Organization XIII coat @_@

8. Jack Skellington stuff! I will love you forever if you find a typical wallet (three-way fold, not two-way fold) with Jack on it <.< >.>

9. Care packages - filled with any sort of necessary items like color-treated hair shampoo and conditioner, body wash, clothes, etc.

10. Paracording supplies - I want to someday be able to start my own business, but I need the supplies for that X3




Other holiday wish lists!

-http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/5238583/

I have been bashed and made fun of on at least one person's journal because I asked for help. If this is the kind of bullshit I'm going to have to go through when I am having trouble, then screw asking other people for help.

I am always up for suggestions if I ask for help, and someone thinks there is something that I need to try before getting monetary donations. I even went through a whole new process of researching when someone suggested something for me. But when you blatantly post on another's journal that I am clearly not trying to take care of something myself, that I haven't done everything I could, and that I'm basically a good-for-nothing beggar just looking for other people to pay my way through the world, that's where I draw the line.

I'm sick of the shit that I, and others, have to deal with because we have muddy luck and can't always do everything that others can. So from now on, I'm gonna say screw it. I won't ask anyone for help, I'll suffer in silence. I will give no pity to those that downright refuse to help others. I will laugh in their face if they ever need help. I know who my friends are, and those're the only people from now on I'm going to help, since I know they're the ones who bend over backwards for me when I need it.

For those of you not aware of what's going on, here is the journal that explains the whole situation pretty thoroughly: http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/4875651/

For those of you that want the quick low-down: I have broken a wisdom tooth, have no money, job, insurance or anything, and I need probably over $300 to get the tooth removed...

UPDATE

My tooth has gotten worse. More of it has broken off, and is now exposing some of the nerves to the elements. And what's worse? It wasn't even the sharp shard that broke off either...

Please halp ;w;

Well, as if things still weren't rough enough, my wisdom tooth just decided to break. I have a sharp shard that's tearing up the inside of my cheek, and I don't have any sort of file to make it dull.

I'm in a new state, living with my mate. We, and his family, are barely making ends meet. I'm looking for a job, but still have yet to get any calls for interviews, which is disheartening. My mate's mom has been looking for a second job, or even a new full-time job, and has gotten nowhere.

I have no insurance currently, and what insurance I DID have back home, no one took for dental coverage, which left me in trouble no matter what I did. I have attempted to file for Welfare/Medicaid here, but even so, that could take upwards of two-three weeks minimum to POSSIBLY be accepted just for the fact that I have to apply in person, I have to have a whole bunch of documentation (one of which my parents have to send to me), etc.

I've tried looking for free dental clinics, and the ONLY one that looked like it was even slightly promising told me "We only take non-insurance/new patients the first Monday of every month, and you have to call back 8am that morning and hope we have an appointment." Which means, even if I call in, there's a chance I may not get an appointment, and another chance I may have to wait any entire month to have anything done because they only do non-insurance work on the first Monday of every month.

Then there's the fact that I haven't quite gotten my new state ID yet, a process that takes about a week in and of itself, and most free places won't take me without that ID anyway.

Then there's the possibility of going to an oral surgeon to have the tooth removed and just pay money. Major problem here? The only place around here that will see me won't take payment plans. They also won't do any work without taking x-rays.

X-rays = $118
Dental work = $149-300+ (more if the tooth is impacted)

I'm looking at around $300+ already, even if my tooth isn't impacted. Obviously I don't have that kind of money.

I have asked for help once before, and the community helped me as much as they could, keeping me from becoming homeless. I know this isn't as dire a possibility as becoming homeless, but the pain is already there, and it's been less than a day since the tooth has been broken. If anyone could please help...I don't really have anything to offer, but if there's something you think I can do for you in return, I would be more than happy =\

TL;DR: Wisdom tooth broke, I don't have insurance, tried calling everything from free dental clinics to Welfare for insurance, got nowhere. Need approx $300 to have the tooth removed before it completely cuts up the inside of my mouth and puts me in incapacitating pain...

paypal: icewerewolf90[at]aim.com

Check it out, he's doing free IA, up to 100 slots!

http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/4856941/

Check him out! He has amazing art, and is open for 4 adult flat-colored commissions right now ^^

http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/4841620/

So AC was amazing as always. But now I have an issue -____- This was my first AC at which I fursuited. But I swear, I must have seen at least four other fursuiters who made me double-take because I thought they were wearing my head =\ I feel so cookie cutter now ;w;

So now I need help. I want to change my sona around a bit so that I don't feel like 500 other people have the exact same thing. Only problem is, I don't know exactly what I want to do now.

I want to keep my species the same. I will remain an ice wolf. I would prefer keeping the same base colors (ice blue and white), and I really want to keep the wings I have as well. Other than that though, I have no idea what to do. Should I add another color to the mix? Should I add markings or symbols?

In the end, I guess the majority of the changes I want have to be associated with the head, since that's the most seen part of a fursuit. I also want the design to be easy enough to implement into a new fursuit head, as I have a friend that is willing to help me.

Is there anyone out there willing to help me? I also plan on commissioning a new ref when I get all my ideas down and ready!

gnjurshngfjgfd /flops

As of today, I am officially, completely, and absolutely graduated from university! I received notice of the last grade I was waiting for, and OMG, I even managed to make it on the Dean's list for my last semester!! I'm so proud of myself ^^ I walked across the stage for the ceremony on Saturday, and now all my grades are in! Four years of university...it was a long hard road, but now I'm done ^^ I am now a major of Wildlife and Fisheries Science =)

I don't get a fuckin' break...

Got out of the last house, $800 in the pocket of that asshole landlord, money down the drain because the asshole roommate was stealing my food, and then had the nerve to turn me into the landlord for not doing the dishes when his lazy ass never did anything. Then more money in the hole to move the fuck out (moving expenses, giving money for gas to the amazing fur that helped me , security deposit for the new apartment, more food, etc.).

Moved into this new apartment, which I thought was a God-send, because it was less than a mile from campus, right behind a bus stop, and only $510 a month for my portion of rent, plus internet (which my mate and I were going to bust our asses to pull off...)

Okay, so there were a few hiccups in the beginning. There were two people on the lease, the girl I subletted from, and then the original guy. Well, the original guy never actually lived there, instead letting a best friend of both himself and the girl I subletted from stay there, which was fine and dandy. All the bills got paid on time, shit was good.

Well, the dude that wasn't on the lease needed to find someone to take over his side of the lease too. I was told from the beginning that it wouldn't be anything I had to worry about. They'd take care of it all, and we'd all be happy-go-lucky.

Well, January 7th, and the second half of the rent hasn't been paid. I get an email and a text from the girl asking if I'd paid rent, and I'm like yeah, I did...here to come and find out the second guy didn't pay rent. Well, if he had had someone on the brink of signing a new subletter form for that side of the apartment, things would have been fine. But approximately 15 people checking the apartment out later, no one has signed, no one is interested (since apparently they want no roommates, and a parking spot all to themselves? Uh, hello...this is a college town, GTFO).

So let's see...January 9th, and the next email is sent out: (short version) you have 10 days to get your shit together, pay the rent and the late fees, or we (the landlord) will be beginning the eviction process. The girl was way too hopeful, and kept trying to tell me that the guy would pay the rent, and get someone else in there.

January 11th: No sign of the guy, no word, no nothing. His mother has even stopped responding after she was asked to pick up his part of the rent, and told that the girl's mother nor her could afford his rent (thus why she moved out to begin with).

Night of January 11th: the guy shows up, takes the internet modem, the wifi router, all the workings, tells us he's on the phone with Comcast trying to get the internet switched over (which I found out is a lie, because it's impossible to switch internet over to a person without a Comcast account), and disappears. And he's left his key behind too.

No one has heard word from him or shit. So basically, we're fucked, again. I can't get a subletter without the signature of the original guy (whose been apparently living in China this whole time), and the rent obviously isn't getting paid, and we're internetless (I'm on campus right now just for some internet). Can this day get any better?

-sighs- I'm going to try and talk to the landlord about this tomorrow, but considering my luck thus far, I won't get my hopes up. Is someone trying to tell me I shouldn't graduate? Cuz I'm supposed to graduate beginning of May, but at this rate...

My mate and I had to pull the $800 out of his savings account, an account his bank has rules against touching so many times, so they're in a bit of a tiff right now about all this. That money was emergency money, meaning as of right now, if another emergency came up, we're shit out of luck. We've received a good amount of donations, but unfortunately we're still in the hole a good amount of money. All those donations, while making me cry because of how much I feel loved right now, will be going right back into my mate's savings account for a future emergency.

Sadly, because we are still in the hole a good amount of money, this means no Christmas for us, no birthday celebration for him, and probably a very little amount of food for a good while until this shit is over with.

The worse thing of all this is the fact that we still need MORE money to move out. The asshole landlord told us we have until the 31st, New Year's Eve, to get the hell out, basically. So we have less than a month to find a new place, sign a lease, pack up, and move out. There's going to be money required for a trailer to get all my shit out (no one has a truck around here that can haul all my big, heavy shit...), the gas required, which will be more than usual because of hauling the trailer, and the price of signing the new lease. What the fuck else...-sighs-

I'd like to at least be able to go spend Christmas with my parents, but that's gas money too. And my parents can't help because they're barely affording the roof over their head, so I wouldn't ask them for fear of causing them to lose their home.

I should probably also let anyone else that wants to know, know...My one uncle, whom I was very close to, passed away Monday morning from lung cancer, so adding insult to injury, I just want to curl up in a corner. I can't take much more of this shit...

I probably won't get much other help now, but just in case anyone else might have some Christmas spirit, here's my paypal
Paypal: icewerewolf90@aim.com

I know this has never worked before, but I have to try...I have nothing else left...

I woke up to a long-ass, uber pissed off text from the landlord here at the house basically ending in: either pay $800 for this this and that, or you're evicted in two days.

I don't have $800 to just blow anywhere, I don't even have that much in my bank account from school loans. Please, someone help me...I can't even afford the damn clothes off my back right now...

I'm trying so hard not to cry right now, I don't know what else to do...College classes end in like...two weeks, and I can't afford to up and not be here...

Please...help me...

Note: Please don't mention anything about legal action, because not only can I not afford a lawyer, but it wouldn't help, since I've been around enough legal cases to know when someone would say there are loopholes that will be exploited, and I would lose no matter how hard I try.

EDIT: Paypal: icewerewolf90@aim.com

For anyone that cares, I got through surgery just fine. Took a bit longer than expected in the OR, not sure why, but it was enough to scare my parents lol. Anyway, I'm officially in the recovery stage, feel like total shit too haha. They pumped me so full of meds right after I woke up that I immediately got nauseated, and had to force myself to get sick to even feel a little better. Nausea continued after though, so I've hardly eaten anything today. Hopefully that'll be better tomorrow though. I'm in a lot of pain, and extremely tired, but at least I survived <333 thank you to everyone that was supporting me through this all ^^ <333 love you all!!!

So I have found out my surgery is tomorrow morning. My report time is 9am, and the surgery actually begins at 10:30am. I'm not really scared, but at the same time, I'm really not looking forward to the pain afterwards.

Wish me luck @_@ And here's hoping something good happens for my birthday after...

Not that anyone really cares, but I just figured I'd pop my head off and shake out some of the spiders and nasty crap from inside into a journal for others to see XD

So, September 10th, I had one hell of an accident on my bike (no, not motorcycle...my pedal bicycle...) on campus as I was heading to class. Because of being a senior, and requiring certain classes in order to graduate, my schedule worked out that I have a class on the opposite side of campus (mind you, this campus has its own ZIP CODE) fifteen minutes before another class. So I try to book it from one class to another. Two minutes from class time, twenty feet from the door, a person on the sidewalk was walking almost like they're drunk.

My bike and I wind up in the grass to keep from hitting said person. It didn't end well. My front tired met concrete the WRONG way, bike went one way, I went the other. So did my knee. Hyperextended my knee, laid on the ground laughing at the pain while a crowd of people gathered, ambulance came, cop came, etc. Spent three hours in the emergency room. Yay.

Well, had an MRI this past Monday, the 24th (two weeks later). Today? Found out my ACL is completely torn, and I now have surgery scheduled for October 10th. One week before my birthday. This sucks ;n;

TL;DR - Bike accident -> Torn ACL -> Surgery one week before my birthday -> Sucky birthday

/end QQ

Not that it really matters, but for some odd reason, I'm kinda excited to see my birthday come around this year. It's so weird ;n;

October 17th <3 Here I come! Imma be 22~ /flops

Must...stop procrastinating...on homework <.<;;

Note: Before I start, this isn't directed at any particular person, this is just in general. And I know some of this doesn't actually apply to certain people either, so I don't want to hear that either, please.

You know something? When I joined the furry fandom, all I ever saw all over the place was the "pride" of furries in how they're ALWAYS there to help each other out, support each other, whatever.

Know what I haven't seen? That the only ones that actually seem to GET help are the people that don't really NEED help. The popufurs, or the popular people out there.

What happened to furries band together? I'm definitely not seeing it. I know I have asked for help for myself at least two-three different times. I have tried offering my services, but I'm sorry, I don't draw like Leonardo DaVinci like a lot of people out there. So sorry I don't have amazing talents that I can sell. I have been trying to get a job, but as a lot of furs know, going to college full-time, in your last year of school, trying to graduate on time and not fail you classes, so it's not easy trying to get AND hold a job during all of this.

On top of that, I wasn't even sure I was going to be ABLE to go to college this year because of funding and shit. But what really pisses me off is that if I even ask for help, such as support or something, I get ignored, or worse, told to suck it up and get over it.

I just asked the other day about some help for a good friend of mine, who had to travel across at least four states to pick up some people who were basically being kicked out of their living arrangements by an absolutely terrible landlord. One of the roommates has health problems out the ass, and my dear furry friend simply asked for a bit of help getting some money together for gas to move them to his place. NOTHING FUCKING ELSE. And you know all he got? Well, pretty much nothing. What the fuck?

What's worse? "Omg, this person is sick, go give them hugs and posts and stuff to help them out!" I can't tell you how many friggin times I've seen posts like that, and they get like an entire journal full of "How can I help?!" or "I hope you get better!" or something. And they ask for money and people like throw it at them. What the fuck is with that?

It's just getting ridiculous how much everyone's all like "Unlike regular people, furries band together and help each other", but in reality, it's just the popular people that have tons of friends/watchers that get any help, while the "nobodies" stay that way.

Just so tired of that shit anymore...and sorry if I offended anyone. Just my viewpoint right now.

I try to help someone, and all I get is shit upon.
Apparently from the first moment I met this person, I was like a sister to them, I helped them through hell and back.
Then all of a sudden, I'm the one in the wrong. I'm the one that's being a bitch, not letting people in, etc. etc.
I have 16 days til I move out of my apartment, I have homework assignment upon assignment, exam after exam, working my ass off in an attempt to not fail any of my classes and screw myself over in college.
I've been in pain for the past two weeks for multiple reasons.
I've had to deal with my son of a bitch asshole roommates and keep from stabbing them.
But I have yet to snap people's heads off without either warning them beforehand, or apologizing afterwards.
But yet somehow, over the period of a week, I've managed to piss this person off to where they have officially removed me from their life for supposedly not listening.
They tell me they don't quite know me well enough to know whether or not I'm joking (sarcasm) or being serious with some of the things I say. Yet they come off and judge me and tell me that all I've been doing is pushing them away and being bitchy and all that happy horseshit.
One minute I'm the comforting, helpful, listening sister, the next minute I'm apparently doing absolutely nothing for them.
Even I get tired of argument, so excuse me if I ask if we can stop the arguments.
I'm just so confused right now...I pour my heart out and try to help, but yet it's not enough.
And people wonder why I'm on depression medication...
I give up...I'm in tears, no one'll care...

Well, I never put much into the myth of unluckiness from Friday the 13th's...until today -.-

I swear, I walked out my apartment door this morning, and it's like welcome to hell.
Walk out my door late, wind up basically running to the bus stop this morning.
My wrist is bothering me more than usual today, so pain.
My stomach has been upset since I got to class this morning, so I've missed more of my lectures than I would have liked.
My cell dropped off my lap today (something that happens a lot) but for the first time ever, I now have a crack in my touch screen. What the fuck.
I went to take notes in my class this morning and my computer decided it was going to shut off and update on me...right as I NEED to be taking notes.
My computer starts back up, and I find out that the google chrome browser I had open with all of my important research paper sites were all gone -______-
My lecture powerpoint from my first class today decided it didn't want to save properly.
I almost destroyed my headphones on the bus.
Was supposed to have a meeting with the group of kids from my one class to work on our group research paper, have had absolutely no correspondence from them, and we have ten days to finish this paper.
Being far away from my mate (I'm in PA, him in CA) I have no one to run to and bang my head against in an attempt to feel better, which makes all the stress of the end of the semester basically tear me apart.

And this is all before 1pm. Seriously...I'm falling apart ;^;

This artist is willing to work for $5-10, and is also offering free colored sketches in trade for being pimped out in a journal. Check it out =3

http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/3199974/

Okay, so in an attempt to get some commissions rolling, and get some money flowing in, I'm offering $3 off of any commission, but with these limitations:

I have light blue, white, black and red yarn. If you commission me for something with any of those colors, you'll get $3 off.

Bonus: If you bring someone else to commission me through journals (and they tell me they came here through you), I'll give you an extra $1 off a commission! =3

How's those for deals?

Commission journal here:
http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/3106052/