oh god.. I'm so panicking >_< tomorrow at 6:30am my surgery will begin... thinking about it makes my heart race... The anesthetic will be spinal T__T ugh.. I have this phobia for syringes, hospitals and craps... that's why this is harder for me even thou I know everything will be fine... yessssssssssss... it will be fine... Breath... Breath... I just wanna cry... T__T

Oh BTW I have not internet at home for the moment... won't be posting for a few days :( sowy...

well My surgery is on June 3... I'm still in pain... but not as before... at least I can take a few pills and bare with it ^__^

Well I'm on a roll drawing full pictures, alright!! its really been a while and I think I should stick to the cell shading, I'm kinda proud of 'em hee hee hee ^__^ Also... more Pr0n cumming ^__^

well... remember I said I had other complications? well... I'm "Sick" ... .... Things has worsen last night I now the doctor said I might need an emergency Surgery *sigh* Still not sure but lets see what happens.... T__T

I'm sorry I'm not saying what it is but its a bit embarrassing.... Wish me luck >_<

ok I've been gone for around 2 years +

... Move in with BF to apt... Huge flood damage everything plus AAA put a scam on us... we moved.... to a more country (a hole actually) like place... the tops of a very nice house.... we moved again cuz our neighbors downstairs were special (severe mental retardation) 2 of them and one very violent, lots and lots of loss of sleep and lots of stress... moved again to a more expensive place (all worth it).

I had 3 jobs at one time:
1- Sales associate @ Macy's
2- Graphic designer and animator @ rocket learning (loved it)
3- As a art (cartoon & anime) teacher

*Sigh* lost them all!!!
1- they wanted to get rid of long timed employs with stupid and no way to prove excuse...
2- contract ended no money available to renew T___T
3- Not enough quorum to fill class

my car broke down... 2,000.00 to fix it.... My bitch (female dog) got very sick I thought she was gonna die >_< Cried my eyes out at the vet... They fixed her in no time.. $350 (borrowed) since no job... no money.. need stuff... freaking credit cards... I've been doing this... side thing... drawing plotplan in Auto Cad (from measured surveys) I can back myself up just a bit but still debts are killing me!!!
got other stuff going on but no need to get into it cuz all this crap is too depressing!!

So now that I got more free time, lots of depression (think you could tell from the last submissions?) I'm making a huge effort to comeback to the artistic world and furies... once the furry fandom gave me strength, hope and means of vomiting my feelings, and now I need it more than ever >_<

I MISS YOU ALL!!! I haven't drawn in a very long time since the lost in thought submission....

Hello everyone, I know Its been ages since I last logged on >_< I miss the fandom so much and everyone too T__T

Well just to let you guys know... I moved from my Mom's and now I'm living on my own with my new BF, We had some troubles where we were before so we moved again to a better place, the thing is.. since its much more expensive we have no TV (not even the local channels) nor Internet I can barely pay my cel phone. That's why I haven't been around, right now I'm in a starbucks checking e-mails >__<

All the Commissions I owe are ready all I need is the address to send it to I've included some bonuses too as a sorry very sorry I know I have no excuse since its been too long and I could have done this earlier >_< I'm so sorry. I love everyone and miss everyone too... miss seeing new thing, I'm barely drawing now T__T

to those I owe commissions please Send the your mailing address in a note, I have one in particular a 18"x24" you commissioned me in AC that time... you paid half of it remember? well I only need the other half to pay for the shipping since yours is bigger and has a lot other stuff there too... Please don't hate me!!

I'm devastated... I cannot believe it.. it sounds like a bad joke somehow.....

I'm sad to inform that my good friend Chris Michael Paniagua A.K.A.  kugenrizu has passed away today.... I can barely type anything with these tears running down my face... I'm so sorry... I feel terrible that I wasn't there enough for him... we where practically neighbors he used to come by my house and play Video games and stuff... but then he move away and so did I and we kinda loss contact... we barely talked... and now...


oh god I'm the worse ... I'm so sorry .............. Rest in peace my friend.... I love you! ....

*Sigh* I'm so sorry.... every one... I miss the fandom so much! ... you know... I haven't drawn much to be honest.. I haven't forgotten about what I owe and to whom... some are half done (I strarted them but never finished) I'm gonna make sure those who paid are gonna get what they paid for and plus... I PROMISE!!!

Right now I'm living on my own with my boyfriend Danhue... remember Danhue? well.. yeah... we hooked up and started a new life together... its been hard but we're managing.

I'm over working on Macy's but everything is paying off nicely, my car broke... yet again.... >__<

I thought that after graduating I could have more time to myself but... all I do is work work work, I need a vacation.... I would do EVERYTHING within my power to go to AC next year... I can't keep on living like this. with all the stuff happening here in Puerto Rico I'm glad I have a job.

see ya all soon. I hade over 6,000 submissions I had to nuke >_< ... if there is something in particular you'll want me to see and comment about it or something you would like me to take my atenttion, please feel free to write me... I've been away so long I don't know whats going on anymore :(

Sorry I haven;t been on much.... I'm working a lot, searching for opportunities to get a job in what I studied... seems like I got something as a storyboard artist but can't count on it, it's just speculations.....

well... truth is I'm moving away from home to a nice house a great price.. but first I have to get rid of a few depts... like credit cards in which I have to pay about $800, parking tickets... maybe one of speed and a red light pass..... sums about $500 that's 1,300... not much really compare to what really paying bills is... and cover some moving expenses, but I also need... NEED new glasses, and they are quite expensive cuz I have a condition called photophobia (Light's density burns my eyes) so I need the transitional lens... wich adds about $150 to the whole cost....

Well I applied to a loan of $5,000 paying only 99/month.... well I didn't qualified... I mean.. My credit score is almost perfect (I checked) I had a co-loaner who earns A LOT MORE than I do.... I dunno... guess the plans are ruined... I'm still stuck with my mom and sister with no private space and others messing with my own stuff... I'm so mad I'm about to Cry.........

I CANNOT BELIEVE IT!!!!
I FINISHED THE FREAKING ANIMATION AND THE DAMNED THESIS!!!! WHOOHOO!!!!!!!

*pants* well *pants* I'm so tired *pants* I think I'm gonna hibernate.....

*Dies* *Spirit keep on talking* well since the deadline was earlier than before I had to finished the animation ASAP so some scenes had to be cut off..... specially the sex scene T__T I was so looking towards it.... I apologize for Yaoi Bear, Cannon the Cat and nightblazer since they could not make it to the animation... I'm so sorry you guys.

 ivybeth thank you so much for the beautiful illustration you did for it... you helped me a lot there. and the 3rd illustration (brain Freez) Jaer Cabán he is very talented wish he was totally into furries *sigh* oh well... I will submit the animation soon... got to figure out a way to make the whole download thing... anyone here to teach me? anyone?

I haven't forgotten about all the commissions I still owe... give me a few days to rest and I swear I will get on to them ASAP.... I have to present the whole thesis thing in may 5 or 7 ... dunno when my turn is but... wish me luck

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xMxLcd86KIM

I want to apologize to everyone (specially to all who commissioned me) I haven't been online at all. I had 2 jobs during the whole Christmas season, it was HELL I tell you, people are just crazy X__X I didn't had much free time.

Some times while working at Macy's in my lunch break I did a few drawings and also worked a bit in the animation. The pic I uploaded earlier is what I've been working on there, plus a big format watercolor I've been having lots of troubles with ( silentwolf post AC commission) ... anyways ... Its the beginning of a new freaking semester of thesis DAMN!! only this time I should take it slower since I'm unemployed (again) I finished  djgalven's T-shirt, now to wrap and send. Next shirt to do is  mattdragon's who was in line then  ten's after he aproves the drawing followed by  bunnysoul's

thank you all for your patience... I've got more news to tell but keep in tune for the next update.

(please to those who already paid me, send me a note i lost the to do list)

----TO THOSE I PROMISE THEIR REQUEST PLEASE SEND ME A NOTE----

I got great news this time ^__^

First of....... I HAVE A FREAKING LAPTOP!!!!! Finally cost $550, Features:
- Intel Core 2 duo processor
-Wireless LAN Technology
-DVD/CD drive burner
-XBRITE-ECO LCD technology

I say for $550 is not bad... has no web cam but who cares I don't really use it.

Got 2 Jobs, Babagge's (I've been working only 1 day per week... 5hrs.) and Macy*s got quite a few hrs with them. Ugh but the thing is I have to wear a whole suite X_with a tie X__X and here in Puerto Rico is to warm to be wearing such a thing.

There is some one getting me art designing and animation side jobs (what I should be working on... damn it I've been studying it for 7 years now)

Also mot importantly... I made a last minute animation.... I didn't sleep at all.. got home from work on Monday at 11:45pm and sat down on the computer... when I looked back it was already 7am and got to get ready for college )__) (you guys don't wanna see my eyes >_< ..... anyways... I presented the crappy animation and guess what??
THEY FREAKING LOVE IT!!! loved everything about it, even the sketchiness of it. so the thesis's animation is going to be a lot more simpler... except when it come to the furry world.. it has to be full color... and now... to do a complete storyboard... so I'll still be very busy but all is going well ^__^ lets see what'll become of my car if things keep getting this good.

Sarcasm indeed.... I presented the hand made animation to the Thesis faculty and my fellow thesis students. here is the link http://www.furaffinity.net/view/1730224/

Guess what they said?......... that it was a POS yess those words exactly, Piece Of Shit!!! I say it again, Piece Of Shit!!! .... That what I heard ALL saying... *sigh* Why? well:

1- cuz it lacked my drawing skills
2- I'm no being sincere with this work.
3- The Furry Fandom Thing is more interesting than this
4- Needs more Conceptual load, like meanings and changes

So Next presentation is in less than 3 weeks, I need to come up with something new... from scratch basically... ... *sigh* it seems like I'm not graduating again T^T

This work represents a part of my life... All the 12 years of school, it was until I got to college That I found myself as an individual, different and special in many ways, I used to be abuse every freaking day. The Faculty wants me to incorporate the new happening of today (the furry stuff) in the animation (yes they've seen my porn stuff and all... everything I've posted here)...

hm.. I'm going to upload the script to see if any of this makes sense. If there is a number of you furies willing to help and interested on this scrip please let me know and I'll post it.

this is the only thing holding me for graduating... but I just wanna give it up and send them all to hell....

Just as the title sugest... my Computer has officially died, There is nothing I can do for now.. soon I'll get a lap top.... did a little animated commercial of the TV and hopefully I'll get paid on monday... with that money I'll get a new freaking laptop >__< also as if thing weren't hard enough already *sigh* My Car just broke down >_< something to do with the transmitions.... Why does technology hates me ????

Also this gets me way behing schedule with my thesis thing... so I have to apologize for the commission... its gonna have to wait just a bit longer... at least until I get my laptop.

Well I'm sorry to announced the near end of my computer... MSN don't last more than 5 seconds open before it crashes, Firefox crashes all the time too, Can't open any type of music program cuz it causes it to crash too...

Thesis progress has been slow due to this... have to come up with 20 seconds of animation in less than 2 days... and in a weak have a minute plus at least.... Commissions and request are on their way... I'm working everything together please be patience its coming, slower than I anticipated but sure none the less...

Still got one more of  dahlia 's T-shirt to do.. I was not happy with the avian's Sketch so I'm gonna re do it.

I'll try to be checking often FA but if I seemed q little unheard of... you know why T__T *whines and sobs*

 mattdragon 's T-shirt - (Sketch complete) still pending
 bunnysoul 's T-shirt - (Sketch in progress)
 ten 's T-shirt - (sketch in progress)

Hey furs....
Its been a week now since some idiot ran over my 3month old puppy... Today I went to feed the fella and guess what?.... He is all happy and running around and trying to jump on me but he can't *sigh* he does not support on that leg at all... and yet he is so happy and running around with only 3.

The inflammation went down, He does not cry anymore.. but still can't touch that leg.... It has to be broken, it has to, But I have no money to take him to a Vet.... I dunno if is too late either... its been a whole week... I'm glad he is all happy and all... but... I can't help him any further... *sigh* he is so cute.... might take a pic of him soon ^__^

Well, Starting with the bad stuff... cuz the good are better :P

Last night some asshole ran over one of my pups again! fortunately it was only a leg, he seems to be fine but got to take him to the vet.

There is a Tropic storm coming to Puerto Rico Tomorrow it could be Hurricane by tomorrow or maybe not... its close to be so.
They tend to cut electrical power for caution procedures so I might not be on starting tomorrow evening till who knows.. 2 days more, depends.

I'm going art crazy accepting any excuses to draw porn. ^__^ so C'mon suggestions are welcome, I'm still open for commissions, no worries I'm being a little cheap since I'm desperate,I lost my job a month ago now, anything you could help would be greatly grateful starting with 5$ sketches, send me a note and we discuss it.

I HAVE PAYPAL freaking finally... still trying to figure out how it works, but its there ^__^

I may be a little slow on things cuz I'm still working with my thesis, but things are being completed.

oh and Dahlia your shirt is done, currently doing your BF's and soon to be mailed.

Hey guys ^__^ We worked something out with a friend of my mom's who works at some hospital and she was able to buy my vaccines with her employee discount, So I got the shots, and she injected me right away!.... my but still hurts... they are 6 shots >_<

Today I'm having my 5th shot, and tomorrow it will be over... finally cuz I am phobic to needles. I'm feeling all better, fever is gone, I can now talk and by tomorrow I should be able to go back to college... well I should cuz I have the 1st thesis presentation X__X

Also, more good news....
Today I got my Wacom's Penn wich originally my 4 nephews destroyed. This means more digital coloring ^__^ Whoohoo! and also more porn cuz I won't have to worry about where to hide it hehehe
got minor sister still and not so open minded people here that's why.

 mattdragon Commissioned me for a t-shirt..... the money arrived just in time.... it so happened that he sent more than he should have... thank you Matt... and so I was able to go see a doctor.

It's not dengue fever... thank god.... Dengue fever can be fatal in many cases.

Its a very severe throat infection... the tonsils are inflated & lacerated. thats why I was spitting blood. It keeps on moving around eating me.

Its gone so bad that it cannot be treaty easily with pills. I need some antibiotics in the form of shots... 6 to be precise. the thing is..... the whole thing cost about $120..... and on top of that got some other pills to buy... 35$ each freaking pill..... so we managed to get our hands on some of those drowsily pills (really they got me sleeping the whole day)

But the shots is what is going to kill the bacteria eating my throat.
It scares me for I don't even know this bacteria's name but.... the pills will slowly keep it at bay and eventually stop it but after is caused more damage... the shots prove to be fast and more effective... that's the difference...

My family worked something out to pull the whole set through... I still don't have the shots... seems like I'll have to wait a few days more...

Hey everyone, I'm sorry.. I know I owe some commissions to a few but I haven't been lazy about it or anything... I'm very sick.
I have been with high fever for 4 days now... come to think of it.. right when I lost my job. I feel like shit. My whole body hurts, headaches, nausea, I get dizzy when I walk, eye burns and hurts, Can't sleep either... Since I have no job now... got no money, nor a medic care plan... If I'm gonna go to a doctor... I got to pay... Its all they care... not that I get well, no, just that you pay. *sigh* thw whole world has free medic care, and America still don't. check out the documental Sicko! its very good.

I haven't had the strength to get out of bed. nor for drawing anything or doing anything, no food no nothing.. its a living hell...

Some suspect that its Dengue fever ... don't know what it is? Google it, there is even an article in Wikipedia.

As soon as I get better I promise to work on your stuff guys... I'm terribly sorry.

Hello ^__^
I'm selling these color T-shirts  arius s' T-shirt add http://www.furaffinity.net/view/1467611/
 dahlia's T-shirt Addhttp://www.furaffinity.net/view/1667212/
 djgalven's T-shirt Add - http://www.furaffinity.net/view/1947272/

I'm Hand drawing your character on it and working some decolorizing magic! For the white T-shirt I'll color with acrylics.

for a T-shirt:
Is only $20 + shipping ($9.55)
order 2 or more and it's free Shipping!
paying methods:
Paypal or Money order, I take international
money orders too from Canada.

These are the sizes in stock for each style (color)

main-white, Black sleeves, Green shoulders
S-2 M-2 L-1 XL-1

Main-white, navy blue sleeves, gray shoulders
S- 2 XL-1

main-true blue, black sleeves. (the  arius 's Add sample)
M-1 L-3 XL-2 XXL-1

main-Red, Navy blue sleeves.
S-1 M-1 L-2 XL-3 XXL-1

main-gray, black sleeves, true blue shoulders.
XL-1 (gray is light 2 options Just decolorizing it or acrylic painting)

main-gray, red sleeves, navy blue shoulders
M-1 XXL1

NEW COLOR!!
Main-dark green, black sleeves
S-1 M-5 XXL-1

Hello ^__^
I'm selling these color T-shirts http://www.furaffinity.net/view/1467611/ and drawing your character on it and working some decolorizing magic!

I tried to do this event but it didn't workout well cuz I had problems finding a computer to log in to.

Still... for a T-shirt:
Is only $15 without shipping
order 2 or more and it's free Shipping!
paying method:
Money order, I take international money
orders too from Canada.

These are the sizes in stock fir each style (color)
I tried to do this event but thanks to my pc... yeah.. hate it :(

after these quantities are over, the price for a shirt will be $20 and some style will be out of stock. Sorry guys I tried, I had only till the 17th of august to buy these shirts right... but if can get my hands on some more of these but there will be a price difference... it will depend so we can make a deal!


main-white, Black sleeves, Green shoulders
S-2 M-2 L-1 XL-1

Main-white, navy blue sleeves, gray shoulders
S- 2 XL-2

main-true blue (the sample) black sleeves.
M-1 XL-1 XXL-1

main-Red, Navy blue sleeves.
S-1 M-1 XL-1

main-gray, black sleeves, true blue shoulders.
XL-1

main-gray, red sleeves, navy blue shoulders
M-1

main-brown, light brown sleeves, orange shoulders.
XXL-1

sizes from L and Up are easier to get!

Well everyone it's oficial... the Ricans are going to AC again and this time with me ^___^ OMG I'm so excited, I can't wait.

Still got to save some money to spend over there, and still got my PC all messed up so it will be hard to socialize more with everyone from here FA v__v oh well...

so yeah.... See you guys there @ AC!!!

Well What Can I say... Every since I broke up with Jeffrey (Yamibliss) on December... I lost my self. My life suddenly burst in a million pieces and I've been looking for each piece ever since... I may be lost... but not without a direction. I've been feeling extremely lonely. Right before I lost my mind I joined with a Fashion Designer almost full time.. been getting out of there around 3 to 4 am... what elses is there for me right now anyways?....

My desire to draw has faded, I've done a few things... most of my posts are old (they all have the dates written, you can tell the gaps between)

Just when I think things cannot get shittier somethings happens... Now It seems I cannot graduate until I pay some out of the blue Dept. Plus I lost my financial aid. it's all about bills and a bitch to crap your future.

I need my friends more than ever and I know they are close but... they feel far away.... Anthrocon it's going to be tough... (I'm going to AC this Year)

Hey guys hows it going?, well yamibliss  yamibliss, arius  Arius, Ivy  ivybeth and I have more of a clear Idea for the
PuertoRican FurMeet. :D

This is be held the 2nd of Feburary! (Saturday)
it will be in Paradise Bowling Ally in puerto nuevo.

afterword, hang out in old San Juan to draw in el Morro.
and to end it up a nice dinner out.

Please let me know if anyone will be coming, COMMENT HERE!!
and the deadline to comment or (RSVP) is UNTILL the 20th of January, to get things settled
and set budgets and all that fun stuff.
there will be cake! :3
byyeeeee

Everythin is happening so fast I'm loosing track of everything, my friends, college, my job.... even my beloved... I somehow feel like my friends are slowly walking away from me, as if I say something to upset them... or am I being way too annoying... My BF tells me that a lot...

I'm doing a thesis to graduate, this is my 6th year for a bachellor and I'm so tired can't stand another year if I don;t pass this thesis, and I'm not doing so good either >_<....

Iknow we've been busy with the thesis and all (My BF is doing it too) but It seems we're drifting away from each other... or did it happened a long time ago and I'm just noticing it now... no... maybe I just don't want to acept it... it's been 4 years already.

*Sigh* I'm feeling so lonely..........