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General | Posted 9 years ago
╭━━━━━ ☆ ♡ zzz ♡ ☆ ━━━━━╮
I'm alive! My iPhone 5c broke. Then my bf's 6 broke. My PC barely works. But I'm alive.
Gonna be moving into my car soon, and prob travling toward Colorado or Oregon/Washington!
Wish me luck~
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its my birthday ?
General | Posted 9 years agowake up on my bday to see my bank bounced a payment and has a $35 fee
and my coworkers remembered all the other bdays and planned a party today, but they forgot about me ? I was asked to pay for the pizza order ... lol no one believed it was my bday too when I told them s:
But I got off work early so now I'm laying in my yard stoned w Floyd playing and it's pretty cool so yea ! 22 here we go ..... I guess
:IIIII
and my coworkers remembered all the other bdays and planned a party today, but they forgot about me ? I was asked to pay for the pizza order ... lol no one believed it was my bday too when I told them s:
But I got off work early so now I'm laying in my yard stoned w Floyd playing and it's pretty cool so yea ! 22 here we go ..... I guess
:IIIII
////////\\\\\\\\/////////\\\\\\\\\
General | Posted 9 years ago
╭━━━━━ ☆ ♡ zzz ♡ ☆ ━━━━━╮
eyyy
i'm afk a lot cuz i don't have wifi at home anymore and i don't like using my pc in public obvv lol. and i'm always at work, 1130am to 10pm so i'm always tired zz. i got a dog and a new bf, moved again (in with bf) and work is going ok. i just got a cubicle so that's cool. i doodle at work sometimes but i don't wanna post it cuz i'm trying out styles by recreating others and don't wanna feel like i'm copying. i'm just testing, ykno? anyway. depression is getting to me lately so i'm trying to smoke it away hahaaa xxyolo420xx soi don't have a lot left to say so seeeeya
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YXKLqVCz8SA
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Moving again~! ☆
General | Posted 9 years ago
╭━━━━━ ☆ ♡ time to pack! ♡ ☆ ━━━━━╮
I've been super AFK online, cuz I got a new job! I'm working in a call center now. Just finished week 1, and on my first weekend off, I'm packing to move by Monday! My roommate now (who is a wonderful friend of mine) will be moving out on May 28th, because the landlord sold the house shortly after I moved in. Which is annoying, but whatever. Luckily, I recognized one of my new coworkers from online, (Okcupid and Fetlife, of all places....) but it turns out, he's trying to rent out his spare room! So bam, new job, new landlord/roommate, new house - all in one week!!! He seems really cool, he's a little bit older, owns his house, was a mortician! So cool! Wish me luck with a new roommate tho haha. Always weird at first.
So I'm gonna be very busy from here on out. Adulting~!
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Second Life~! Let's chat :3
General | Posted 10 years ago
╭━━━━━ ☆ ♡ kemono! ♡ ☆ ━━━━━╮
I finally got a cute avi I wanted~! I would like more friends on SL too~
Add me? <3 Username: emichuuu
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check out my friend's free commissions~ ❤
General | Posted 10 years ago
╭━━━━━ ☆ ♡ home ... ♡ ☆ ━━━━━╮
My good friend Lyrren is doing some free comms! :D
It's a rarity so be sure to check our her journal and gallery~
http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/7257656/
http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/7257656/
http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/7257656/
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update~ home! ☆☆☆
General | Posted 10 years ago
╭━━━━━ ☆ ♡ home ... ♡ ☆ ━━━━━╮
well, i'm home! and it's been rocky so far ..
my roommates are terrible at keeping anything clean. so within hours of getting home, and frustrated from not being able to clean this filthy place (doctors orders), i went off at my roommates. just popped off yellin explaining how this is so gross and not ok. they had a whole week alone and didn't sweep, vaccuum, do the cat litter, or even clean cat puke from when i went to the ER .. like, why. you're adults! ugh. it pissed me off so bad.
other than that! my surgery was 11/28 and i'm finally starting to feel some healing in my incision. i had a lap/c-section unilateral salpingo oophorectomy. which is the fancy way of saying i had my left side ovary and fallopian tube removed because i had a 13cm/6.2in cyst totally devour the ovary. yuck!!! but it's out. so i had staples in for a week, then on friday they put on steri-strips with glue. i had one kinda pop open and some blood but my nurse friends say it looks fine and that's normal, sooo, if they say so .. haha. finally the pain is going away and i don't need constant pain pill, and i can get around on my own! woo!
wish me luck!
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Had an ovary surgically removed
General | Posted 10 years agoTw medical / surgery details / drugs
Hey guys. Posing from my phone in recovery after my emergency operation.
Woke up 9am Friday with extreme bladder pain, thought it was a bladder spasm because I take diuretics. Turns out there was a massive cyst surrounding and twisting my left ovary upside down - the only solution was to fully remove that ovary. Bye bye left ovary and half of my fertility! (Can't say I'm disappointed there) but gosh the pain was the most intense of my life. I would never wish that on another soul. I'm on an hourly morphine drip now for the incision and it helps a lot. Lol and I had three shots of morphine before the surgery all with no relief. My grandmother and sister were here with me and my mom visited after and brought me lots of essentials and gifts. First time I've seen her in months!
I'm over the hump I think! Now just time to heal and enjoy Morphine lala land in the meantime haha. Wish me luck!!
Hey guys. Posing from my phone in recovery after my emergency operation.
Woke up 9am Friday with extreme bladder pain, thought it was a bladder spasm because I take diuretics. Turns out there was a massive cyst surrounding and twisting my left ovary upside down - the only solution was to fully remove that ovary. Bye bye left ovary and half of my fertility! (Can't say I'm disappointed there) but gosh the pain was the most intense of my life. I would never wish that on another soul. I'm on an hourly morphine drip now for the incision and it helps a lot. Lol and I had three shots of morphine before the surgery all with no relief. My grandmother and sister were here with me and my mom visited after and brought me lots of essentials and gifts. First time I've seen her in months!
I'm over the hump I think! Now just time to heal and enjoy Morphine lala land in the meantime haha. Wish me luck!!
new fursona design! check her out ❤
General | Posted 10 years ago
╭━━━━━ ☆ ♡ emi 2015/16 ♡ ☆ ━━━━━╮
i decided to recolor and redesign my fursona a bit!
i've always loved her brown color scheme, but i added some
cream and white to make her a lil more pastel and cutesy to suit me!
so meet the new improved emi if you haven't already! c:
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/18286521/
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/18286521/
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hypochondriac problems, crippled with fear.
General | Posted 10 years ago
╭━━━━━ ☆ ♡ hypochondria ♡ ☆ ━━━━━╮
gahhh .. i'm such a hypochondriac, it's killing me. i feel like i worry 24/7 about my health.
i'll drive myself to tears just thinking that i could possibly have a certain illness. lately all i can think about is blood clots, heart attacks, etc. i know i'm overweight but i'm afraid to exercise and overwork myself, so i'm stuck in the middle. lately there's sudden sharp pain in the back of my thigh, calves, and heels. my cheast/heart hurts for a few seconds-minutes every night, i'm unsure if it's my psych meds or something worse (i read that they can cause diabetes onset and heart problems, as well as kidney problems) .. sometimes it's enough to make me wince and wanna take painkillers. or panic and call my aunt who is a nurse, but i'm sure she's tired of me calling now .. i get constant panic attacks about this and can't sleep at night without lying there for hours thinking about how badly i *don't* want to die from whatever thing i think i have at the time. i'm just so afraid i'll die of an illness suddenly, because i can't afford to go see a doctor. tomorrow i'm gonna call small clinics and see if they are cheap enough for me to come see them .. i really need some reassurance that i'm not gonna die suddenly anytime soon. i'm so crippled by that fear. i'm just so afraid of dying and leaving behind my bf. ;_; thinkin about it is making me tear up right now.
fml. someone take dr google away from me please.
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yesterday was my birthday ~
General | Posted 10 years ago
╭━━━━━ ☆ ♡ 21 ♡ ☆ ━━━━━╮
Well! I'm 21 now.
;w;
I'm out of town visiting my boyfriend for a week.
Yay ~
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21st Birthday soon!?
General | Posted 10 years ago
╭━━━━━ ☆ ♡ Big Changes Happening ♡ ☆ ━━━━━╮
♡ My birthday is coming up! ♡
I'm gonna be 21 . . . I'm really kinda nervous about it. And like bummed out a bit! Since I take sedatives at night, I probably can't even drink anymore! Booo!
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♡ ♡ ♡BIG CHANGES!♡ ♡ ♡
General | Posted 10 years ago
╭━━━━━ ☆ ♡ Big Changes Happening ♡ ☆ ━━━━━╮
I'm all good with my meds now. Gonna have to stop smokin the green because I was getting high anxiety. Oh well. I prefer being stable anyway, honestly. So glad the EXR withdrawals stopped! After that ended I went and visited my bf for a week. <3 It was so great! Spending a week with him was something we had never done. It's amazing how lovely he is~ He's very sweet and gentle, and understanding of my anxiety issues. I had a couple episodes around him and he just held me and did his best to comfort me. It's such a relief to not be shunned or ditched when I break down around a new S.O. I'm home now and miss him so much!!! </3 I'm gonna try and get my license/car/job asap so I can visit him more!
So, other BIG news! My roommate/ex Trav is having his new GF move in in one week. I'm 100% cool with this and just really lucky they're not kicking me out. So I’m excited but stressin!! I gotta clean the whole place, clear out room for her, etc, which I’m excited for! We are also looking into a different place to live, a place with 2 bedrooms. I’ve been looking at prices and there seems to be some we can afford, but there’s one issue. My cat!!!! So, I have to call around and find places who will even take us, and my cat, which is REALLY difficult around here. This is so hard.
My cat has a lump on her head that I never could afford to get looked at. The vets around here only take upfront payment the day of treatment, and it would be north of $500 for all the tests. And the apartments we looked at have $200-400 pet deposits … So it’s like, either I take her to the vet and then can’t afford to keep her in the apartment - or she goes with me, and potentially ruins carpet with her usual long-hair-cat hairballs. Or the lump makes her get sicker, which I won’t be able to afford either … I’m basically probably gonna have to rehome her unless we find somewhere with no pet deposit which is unlikely. I feel really bad passing that $$$ responsibility to someone else but I also don't wanna get rid of my cat!!! I'm really stuck right now between icky choices …
My furbaby. ;_; Idk what to dooo.
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medication withdrawals begin ...
General | Posted 10 years agoSooo I'm withdrawing from the Effexor XR that I took for 5/6 days while in inpatient. I woke up last night and wrote this:
It's 3:24am on August 5th. I woke up with withdrawal symptoms. Cold sweating, shaking, tremors. I'm able to recollect who and where I am, the time/date, etc. Pulse was just 90 bpm at 3:26am. At 10:12pm it was 78-82. Little high but not too worrying. My ears just popped a couple times and I'm fighting the shivers and slight heartburn, not sure if they're related to the Effexor. I will take a Vistaril if anything major happens. Wish me luck.
I just woke up for real at 8:30am or so. Stomach's growling, so hopefully that's good. No nausea yet, just a little dizzy and shivery but I opened the window for some warm fresh air. I'm gonna eat some probiotic yogurt and strawberries, plenty of water, use my lavender oil for aromatherapy, then take a warm shower. My cat is keeping an eye on me. <3 She's never 4 feet away unless she's getting a drink or using the litterbox. It's so cute how she's keeping an eye on me and checking on me every now and then. Feeling her paws reach up and grab my thigh now and then is so sweet~ My father also kindly offered to help me buy some groceries, so I'm gonna pick up some vitamins that a lot of people recommend that can help. Omega 3, 6, 9, fish oils, B complex, and electrolyte/protein drinks like Gatorade and protein shakes. I'm gonna make it thru this, hopeuflly.
Anyway. I'm gonna try and hold on today. The tremors aren't as bad as last night, and I keep getting very sweaty in my palms and feet. You can read all my details here, if you'd like - there's a TL;DR version at the bottom too.
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskDocs/co....._after_6_days/
Also, this song has rly helped me cope!!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i2PsXT88UeU
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i2PsXT88UeU
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i2PsXT88UeU
"I've been running from it all my lifetime
There's nothing wrong with you, I'm searching for my right mind
Oh, you should've seen it they were resting on the restless
This happened, literally, woke up I was headless
I'm-a make a deal with the bad wolf
So the bad wolf don't bite no more
(You're all still here)
Motherfucker I'll be back from the dead soon
I'll be watching from the center of the hollow moon
Oh my God I think I might've made a mistake
Waiting patiently was waiting taking up space
We are waiting taking up space
The earth below is above my feet when the clock is laughing at me
When copy cats and the lazy brats are the last thing I want to see
No, my enemy is a friend of mine in a friendly place to be seen
Hey, you know I'd run away for a couple years just to prove I've never been free
They will never find me here!
They will never find me here!
They will never find me here!
They will never find me here, yeah!"
<3home from mental hospital.
General | Posted 10 years agosooo hi guys. i was put in inpatient mental health care place for what, 5-6 days? july 28th - aug 3rd. it was so intense. i had exhaustion from not sleeping or eating for like 3 days and lost my mind during my first night there. huge panic attack, dissociation, cold sweats, dry heaving. my blood pressure was 180/110 - i could’ve died!? …….
anyway. they put me on effexor 75mg, seroquel 50mg, hydroxyzine/vistaril 50mg, and atenolol 50mg. i’m so fucking nervous tbh wow. my vision is super funky, everything feels like bright and fuzzy. i feel like eating meat and sweets make me really ill. bleh. i hope this doesn’t affect me weird, like really bad. reading about the side effects has spooked me big time. brain zaps!?!? pls no
blah. well. i was diagnosed with major depressive disorder, recurring and severe. also generalized anxiety disorder. and they think i have borderline personality disorder but it’s not official.
it's about $1250 a night. i have no insurance.
FML
anyway. they put me on effexor 75mg, seroquel 50mg, hydroxyzine/vistaril 50mg, and atenolol 50mg. i’m so fucking nervous tbh wow. my vision is super funky, everything feels like bright and fuzzy. i feel like eating meat and sweets make me really ill. bleh. i hope this doesn’t affect me weird, like really bad. reading about the side effects has spooked me big time. brain zaps!?!? pls no
blah. well. i was diagnosed with major depressive disorder, recurring and severe. also generalized anxiety disorder. and they think i have borderline personality disorder but it’s not official.
it's about $1250 a night. i have no insurance.
FML
sick and scared ... :(
General | Posted 10 years agoso ive been so so sick lately.
i dont know whats wrong with me, but i cant see a doctor ..
TMI warning!!!!!
for the past weeek or two ive been having crazy episodes usually from 12am - 6am, where i feel nauseous, dizzy, confused, shaky, cold sweat, unable to breathe enough .. i end up going to the bathroom many many times, but i barely eat anything anymore so its just liquid .. :/ only one slightly normal BM in days now .. food disgusts me but my stomach hurts out of starvation, i think? i wake up nauseous and STARVING every morning but food repulses me right now, so eating is super hard. i feel exhausted because of that. every symptom makes me anxious, and i have wicked anxiety already, so i always start to shake and shiver and feel like i cant breathe or see well. its so scary. im so terrified. i dont know whats wrong with me or whats going to happen. i have nightly panic attacks now, and nightmares about what it could be. its the weirdest because i feel fine almost all day while the sun is out, but when it gets dark out i get anxious, then around 12-2am i start to feel how i described above. i can only seem to sleep once the sun comes up and i pass out from exhaustion around 6-9am.
my roommate has almost taken me to the ER two times over these events in the past week, but we always end up not going because i already owe $2.1k in medical bills at the ER, and the cheap clinic wont see me for less than $70 per visit, even tho i dont have a job - but because my roommate has a job. i dont know what to do. i spend all day worrying about this .. and i feel like ive tried all i can from home. ive tried fiber supplement drinks, tums, gas pills, protein shakes, stomach acid pills, GABA supplements, aromatherapy, exercise, not eating after 8pm, only eating bland foods, only eating smoothies .. nothing seems to help for long at all.
i feel like i am spiraling mentally and physically and i cant make it stop. i miss being able to eat food and sleep all night. i miss loving the evenings and spending time with my boyfriend. i miss feeling normal. i've forgotten what feeling OK is like. im so, so scared.
;_;
i dont know whats wrong with me, but i cant see a doctor ..
TMI warning!!!!!
for the past weeek or two ive been having crazy episodes usually from 12am - 6am, where i feel nauseous, dizzy, confused, shaky, cold sweat, unable to breathe enough .. i end up going to the bathroom many many times, but i barely eat anything anymore so its just liquid .. :/ only one slightly normal BM in days now .. food disgusts me but my stomach hurts out of starvation, i think? i wake up nauseous and STARVING every morning but food repulses me right now, so eating is super hard. i feel exhausted because of that. every symptom makes me anxious, and i have wicked anxiety already, so i always start to shake and shiver and feel like i cant breathe or see well. its so scary. im so terrified. i dont know whats wrong with me or whats going to happen. i have nightly panic attacks now, and nightmares about what it could be. its the weirdest because i feel fine almost all day while the sun is out, but when it gets dark out i get anxious, then around 12-2am i start to feel how i described above. i can only seem to sleep once the sun comes up and i pass out from exhaustion around 6-9am.
my roommate has almost taken me to the ER two times over these events in the past week, but we always end up not going because i already owe $2.1k in medical bills at the ER, and the cheap clinic wont see me for less than $70 per visit, even tho i dont have a job - but because my roommate has a job. i dont know what to do. i spend all day worrying about this .. and i feel like ive tried all i can from home. ive tried fiber supplement drinks, tums, gas pills, protein shakes, stomach acid pills, GABA supplements, aromatherapy, exercise, not eating after 8pm, only eating bland foods, only eating smoothies .. nothing seems to help for long at all.
i feel like i am spiraling mentally and physically and i cant make it stop. i miss being able to eat food and sleep all night. i miss loving the evenings and spending time with my boyfriend. i miss feeling normal. i've forgotten what feeling OK is like. im so, so scared.
;_;
terrible news. RIP. suicide tw
General | Posted 10 years agoi just found out my first internet friend that i met in 2005-6, misha
my first big crush and little love, a ray of sunshine in my life
he ended his own life last night ...
i can't even process this at all, im in such shock
my lovely friend is gone. my first love is gone.
i know im barely active on this site other than lurking
but god. i feel so alone.
my first big crush and little love, a ray of sunshine in my life
he ended his own life last night ...
i can't even process this at all, im in such shock
my lovely friend is gone. my first love is gone.
i know im barely active on this site other than lurking
but god. i feel so alone.
8 years of Emi! the history~
General | Posted 11 years ago´*•.¸(*•.¸♥¸.•*´)¸.•*´
I saw 
post about how her sona is turning 5, and I started to wonder when my "sona" was born. I wasn't actually a furry until mid 2013, but I had designed the Neopet/wolf then neko version of my sona all the way back in 2008! I colored those little Makeables! Not a whole lot has changed, but adding thicker stripes, a lighter belly and chest, and longer limb stripes. And of course my little moles and hair!
So here's the first official art I had made of my original sona design, who was at the time unnamed. The first art has a credit but the artist is not active on DA anymore. The second and third were also freebies from other Neopians.
http://i.imgur.com/yyNzFUe.png
http://i.imgur.com/3sZQcot.jpg
http://i.imgur.com/WgkK1wv.png
I adooooored those pics so so much! I'm pretty sure they were done for free, as request, most likely from the Neoboards. Amazing!! My neopets username was iironfan at the time, because I used to RP Temari from Naruto back in 08, ahaha .. Anyway! It makes me feel a little silly to know she started as a wolfy-canine thing. It doesn't suit me at all! She eventually evolved away from a feral creature to a sort of neko girl, because I was starting to hang out with anime lovers at school in 2007/7th grade, and we drew ourselves constantly. The next link was another amaaazing artist from Neo, who drew my 2008/8th grade neko-type version of Emi! Probably one of my fav arts I've ever received. And probably the first free digital art of "myself", my anthro version. My nickname at the time was also Wire, because I was in those silly little emo kid cliques on FC in the boards heheh.
http://i.imgur.com/8FH6YaY.jpg
I was still iironfan aka Wire at that point. But not long after, I kinda fell out of Neopets because of the Viacom changes. I got into Gaiaonline, anime, and doodling myself with my friends. These next ones are ones I did myself, from 2008-2009 or so.
http://i.imgur.com/lVIE96q.jpg 2008, mfw summer school
http://i.imgur.com/WhOPT5W.jpg 09, experimental chibi
http://i.imgur.com/j7vRpXB.jpg 09, pastels, emi got (weird) ears!
http://i.imgur.com/T8zidMq.png emi '10, got her actual ears
http://i.imgur.com/eFjyIWs.png '10, more of a likeness to me!
Then I kinda left her there, as a cute little neko raccoon "me" to draw with my friends. I later dropped out of highschool and just kinda kept to myself. In 2010-ish I drew this random pic (first link) of Emi, just as a human, with no raccoon features or anything! And the second link ... in mid 2013 I was on IMVU and found a guy advertising custom skins his friend made. I didn't know people did that, so I followed him to his friends hangout, where I met 
who pretty much changed my life! She agreed to convert me to the furry side, by making me a furry set! She asked me for a reference, and suddenly everything changed. She joked that once I went fur, I would never look back. And here we are today! Here's a little history of her changes. <3 Some links are NSFW.
http://i.imgur.com/PQYXJNZ.png
http://i.imgur.com/4H9Kxip.png boom, furry!
http://i.imgur.com/5Q5w4hB.jpg the original IMVU fur
http://i.imgur.com/vmGX1Y5.png one of the first arts i made!
http://i.imgur.com/zE9ii7W.png secondlife version of emi
http://i.imgur.com/1VUXVxt.jpg hair change, and first SAI
http://i.imgur.com/ApiWIrJ.png more hair change~
http://i.imgur.com/C0yY3JH.png most recent!
So that is how Emi came from an unnamed Lupe makeable on Neopets, to the chubby blue haired raccoon she is today. It's been a pretty long journey, from mid 2007 to early 2015. I didn't realize it had been such a long time since Emi was first created. Her design has been with me thru awkward middle school, some of the best friends of my life, hard times with family and first love and school, my beginnings as a commission artist, and my ventures into adulthood. It's kinda crazy how a little drawn rendition of myself as a raccoon can be there thru so much, but there's the receipts. Pretty cool~
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BDSM test~
General | Posted 11 years ago´*•.¸(*•.¸♥¸.•*´)¸.•*´
Hehe. That was fun. <3
== Results from http://bdsmtest.org/ ==
100% Girl/Boy
93% Sadist
93% Submissive
89% Brat
89% Masochist
80% Degradation Receiver
80% Experimentalist
79% Switch
75% Bondage Receiver
67% Primal (Prey)
66% Slave
54% Exhibitionist
50% Primal (Predator)
38% Bondage Giver
29% Brat Tamer
29% Voyeur
25% Vanilla
18% Pervert
16% Dominant
13% Non-monogamist
8% Degradation Giver
0% All-Rounder
0% Daddy/Mommy
0% Master/Mistress
See my results online at http://bdsmtest.org/result.php?id=68136
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sold!
General | Posted 11 years ago´*•.¸(*•.¸♥¸.•*´)¸.•*´
Sold! Yay! ^w^
A good friend of mine is looking to sell this canine head she just made!
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/15445306/
Auction link here! v
https://www.furbuy.com/auctions/1066073.html
- Brand new, never been worn
- 24 inch head
- Shaded with acrylic paint
- Pupil visuals
- Squeaker nose
- Comes with free badge
She's awesome and I wanna help her, so please check out the image and link for more info!
I've watched her make a head before and I plan on getting her to make me one asap! :D
Thanks for reading! <3
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holiday wishes~
General | Posted 11 years ago´*•.¸(*•.¸♥¸.•*´)¸.•*´
I've seen some people doin this so I figured I might as well, at least for an Xmas theme journal~
Most of my wishes are pretty basic, I suppose. Anyway, here they are!
1. To see my bae again <3 He lives 100 miles away. booo
2. Art of Emi, of course! That always always makes me happy~
3. Money to buy gifts with. Sad this year, that I can't get gifts for family.
4. A pretty collar, just to take photos in. How gorgeous is this one!? <3 v
https://www.etsy.com/listing/153463.....er-bdsm-collar
5. The glass tentacle Icicle sex toy. Oh god want want want.
6. Motivation to achieve more positive stuff next year!
7. Anything sushi or Hello Kitty related omg.
8. I have a wishlist if anyone feels generous <3 http://amzn.com/w/2TZF8JD5ABDJB
Of course if I got any dirty gifts, the buyer would get lots of photo thanks haha~
(I haven't been doing any photo sets lately, I miss it!)
I guess that's about it! This is our first year on our own for Xmas,
so it's a little lonely. I miss wrapping gifts and making holiday foods.
Other than that, things are going well. <3 My babs is so sweet, he's helping me
grow and learn so much lately. We are closer than ever and I'm so lucky to have him!
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check out this artist/PWYW stream! ♥
General | Posted 11 years ago´*•.¸(*•.¸♥¸.•*´)¸.•*´
is doing really cute PWYW lined chibi commissions in stream!
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/15252679/
https://www.picarto.tv/live/channel.....h=glashmonster
i grabbed one <3 you should too!
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happy updates~
General | Posted 11 years ago´*•.¸(*•.¸♥¸.•*´)¸.•*´
I'm alive! Finally all healed. n__n That was hell! Ergh.
Not muuuuuch to report~ Just that my bestfriend who I had a crush on for 10 months is now more than just a bestfriend. <3 Nothing official but oh gosh I am so happy. The "l-o-v-e" word happy! I'm SO happy. I'm working on quitting self harm, painkillers, and drinking so much. I've found a ton of new great music I love, and I met a nice new friend to hang out with! I'm pretty dang happy overall. No real urge to draw lately though, been playing a bit of WoD and hanging out with my <3 all day instead!
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Medical update - I'm alive!
General | Posted 11 years agoQuick update from my phone!
Warning: medical tmi.
I'm resting in bed today. I've spent the last week in misery, unable to eat or sleep, I couldn't even breathe without pain. I saw my old usual doctor (I have no insurance so I hadn't in awhile) and she was sure it was just my thyroid. So she didn't give me antibiotics and refused to give me painkillers. I did blood and urine samples and went home, where I spend all my time vomiting up bile and unable to use the bathroom or eat anything or even sleep because the pain was too intense.
The night before last I was in so much pain and misery that I didn't want to live anymore so I ended up going to the ER at 4 in the morning. Basically I was told I had a severe UTI and extreme kidney infection. I was extremely dehydrated so I got an IV with morphine and saline and antibiotics and then 4 prescriptions for antibiotics, painkiller, and anti nausea pills. I was told that if I hadn't come in, then kidney failure could have been in my not so distant future. >_< So basically I waited on my Dr who refused to give me the help I was needing. I'm upset with her but whatever.
I'm finally feeling more alive. I'm on day 2/7 of 6 times daily antibiotics. I'm having painkiller with each small meal, usually rice or applesauce. And thankfully not vomiting anymore, and can pee normally again! I can't wait to get back to normal. I'm gonna start treating my body a lot better from now on. This was so scary
Warning: medical tmi.
I'm resting in bed today. I've spent the last week in misery, unable to eat or sleep, I couldn't even breathe without pain. I saw my old usual doctor (I have no insurance so I hadn't in awhile) and she was sure it was just my thyroid. So she didn't give me antibiotics and refused to give me painkillers. I did blood and urine samples and went home, where I spend all my time vomiting up bile and unable to use the bathroom or eat anything or even sleep because the pain was too intense.
The night before last I was in so much pain and misery that I didn't want to live anymore so I ended up going to the ER at 4 in the morning. Basically I was told I had a severe UTI and extreme kidney infection. I was extremely dehydrated so I got an IV with morphine and saline and antibiotics and then 4 prescriptions for antibiotics, painkiller, and anti nausea pills. I was told that if I hadn't come in, then kidney failure could have been in my not so distant future. >_< So basically I waited on my Dr who refused to give me the help I was needing. I'm upset with her but whatever.
I'm finally feeling more alive. I'm on day 2/7 of 6 times daily antibiotics. I'm having painkiller with each small meal, usually rice or applesauce. And thankfully not vomiting anymore, and can pee normally again! I can't wait to get back to normal. I'm gonna start treating my body a lot better from now on. This was so scary
(graphic medical tmi / vent / updates)
General | Posted 11 years ago´*•.¸(*•.¸♥¸.•*´)¸.•*´
warning: pregnancy related. may be graphic/triggering.
i've been afk a lot from everything, cuz i was having some serious health issues. it turns out, my past period and UTI problems were in fact an early term miscarriage. i had been pregnant for 6-8 weeks before miscarrying. i had no clue i was even pregnant, it was not planned, and i'm not even sure who the father is. i have been drinking a LOT lately and eating badly because i didn't know, so that was probably the cause. so i haven't really be able to do much but let it pass, since i can't afford an ER visit or to see a doctor. no small clinics will take pregnancy/miscarriage cases because i think it's sort of a legal grey area. so i've been home trying to cope with the pain; a family friend who is a midwife gave me some muscle relaxer and painkillers so i can rest easy, finally. i finally got to sleep all night last night. i think it's all over now. most of the symptoms have passed and the gross graphic stuff has ended. i've never felt pain that intense before - but i have had an abortion, and it was a similar pressure feeling, so we are 99% sure that's what it was. along with the other obvious symptoms. i'm glad it's all over.
haven't been drawing because i haven't really even been able to sit at my desk because of all the pain i was in. i'm finally able to eat and use the bathroom again, so that's a relief. i feel so much better now. so happy for Bengay, Lortab, Flexiril and heated blankets. (´Ａ｀。) also i'd like to thank the planet for the band Chromeo who has been here for me to hype to even in misery haha.
and also a small thanks to my best friend K for putting up with me thru all this. i snapped at him a couple times on accident. on halloween me and him go to meet irl for the frist time and it was amazing <3 i love him so much. he's dealt with my up and down for over a year, an the past week i've been so selfish and cruel to him on accident. so even though he doesn't have FA, i want to say thank you so much. i've never had a better friend in my life.
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