I was ever-so-kindly invited to Bluesky. Haven't uploaded anything there just yet, but it'd be the place to find me in case (or perhaps when) twitter dies :,3

If anyone wants to share their profile as well, please do!

https://bsky.app/profile/puffses.bsky.social

Let's see how badly I regret this...

I don't have any vr equipment unfortunately, but I've still got the urge to socialize. Shocking, I know! My username is Puffses so if you feel like talking with a strange bird lady then feel free to add me :,>

I'm very close to abandoning Skype for good, soon as I can convince most of my friends to migrate. If anyone wants to add me to Discord then please do :>

Puffs#3898

Wow, I guess I'm overdue for another update journal.

Things have been a bit rocky, but improving. In January I picked up a new friend. She's a pacific parrotlet, and her name's Fiona. By now she'd be about six months old and close to fully grown. She's become quite friendly and extremely mischevious and I love her so much. She's definitely helped with my depression.

Here's a shameless plug for her instagram!
https://instagram.com/abercrunchie/

I don't really have too much else to report. I'm sorry that my drawings have become few and far in between, but lately it's been hard finding inspiration and motivation. Currently I'm more focused on life matters.

Oh hi, how was everyone's holidays?

I'm sorry if I worried anyone with my last journal. I was in a really low place there and things had come to a head. I just had to let it out.

The good news is that I'm getting help. I'm going for a full physical next week, and I'm also seeing a psychiatrist to figure out of anti-anxiety medication is something that will help me. I believe it will, since I'm still worrying about things I have no control over, and those feelings are still eating me up inside. At least now I have opportunities to get better.

Thanks to those who posted comments and notes the last time. It's really touching to know that there are those out there who may be concerned for me.

It's very rare that I'll make a post so personal these days, but at this point I feel I need to. I'm not neccessarily looking for a solution. I'm not even sure there is one, but I do wonder if anyone else out there feels precisely how I do. Possibly.

I haven't been taking care of myself. I spend what little motivation I have left to go to work and do my courses because I know I'm done for without them. I need to go to the doctor. I have to visit the dentist. I've had to for months. I oversleep dramatically when I don't have to wake up with an alarm. Little things like that have been gradually snowballing these past few months. When I'm left to my own thoughts, and aren't around those who make me happy, I don't neccessarily feel sad. Just blank, or empty. I've had depression before and this is eerily like how it used to be.

Many of us suffer from depression. That's not really why I'm writing this, because moreso I feel the cause of this emptyness is far more specific.

I've always tried to give off a sense of dependability. Someone who my friends can talk to. A shoulder to cry on. Someone who will be unfailingly by your side. I've never stopped caring, partially out of a sense of duty and commitment, but more dangerously out of a sense of paranoia. A paranoia that I'll be seen as selfish if I stop caring, or seem like I don't care. That if I don't fully involve myself in the troubles of the ones I love, well, what kind of friend am I?

This has begun to take a dangerous turn, for I am now empty. Lately many of my friends have been though very rough patches this year, whereas I myself have had very few comparable troubles. They still have troubles, but my compassion and empathy is waning. I haven't given myself any opportunities to take a step back and let myself recover. I've willingly refused to let myself ''refill'', in a sense, and now it's left me like this.

EDIT: Edit: To give you some understanding of how severe the whole paranoia thing is, I'm now worried that if my friends whom have come to me with their problems before see this, then they'll start to worry over the possibility that they may have caused how I'm feeling right now. No. Incorrect. I did this to myself. No one ever has specifically had anything to do with this.

I don't know what to do about it. My desire to care is still strong, but the ability to is gone. Like I said, empty inside. The paranoia is still there. I now have a fear that my consolations will be somehow disengenuous now that there's nothing left.

I know my friends will understand. I know they will say 'You need to have time for yourself!', but I don't know how to. I realize I'm not correct in my thinking, but it feels that I must block their problems out in order to let myself get better. That's the last thing I want to do, though. In my own
twisted perspective, it would mean that I'm not a good friend.

My flawed understanding of friendship has left me in a hole I'm not sure how to dig myself out of. I guess I was wondering if anyone else has dealt with something like this. If they've figured out a way to deal with it, it would mean so much if they shared it.

Edit: To give you some understanding of how severe the whole paranoia thing is, I'm now worried that if my friends whom have come to me with their problems before see this, then they'll start to worry over the possibility that they may have caused how I'm feeling right now. No. Incorrect. I did this to myself. No one ever has specifically had anything to do with this.

http://abercrunchie.tumblr.com/post.....6709/yeah-okay

NO MORE OF THIS

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=150MdOX8Vds

Kouen has competition @___@

I'm not leaving FA... yet...

https://www.weasyl.com/~abercrunchie
https://www.weasyl.com/~abercrunchie
https://www.weasyl.com/~abercrunchie
https://www.weasyl.com/~abercrunchie
https://www.weasyl.com/~abercrunchie

...for tomorrow night, I mean. I haven't touched it yet, but I'll have the perfect opportunity to give it a go and stream it tomorrow. If at least one person is interested in watching me get wigged out then I'll stream.

I've seen this twice in theatres, I believe, but that's it. I love this movie! I'll be streaming it at 9:00 so come on down :D

http://www.livestream.com/kooeyskorner

http://www.livestream.com/kooeyskorner

I thought Monsters U was pretty rad. Now I feel like seeing Inc again after a while, mostly to see how the animation's improved after 12 years. Good god, I can't believe it's been that long...

I think I've finally gotten over my art block! I want to do a stream soon, perhaps tonight if possible but I'd like your opinion on something first. Normally I just play music while I draw, but I was wondering if any of you would want to hear me as well, say if you had any questions, comments, anything really, and all I'd have to do is speak instead of type into the chat window. I'd like to try it at least once, but what do you guys think?

So like everyone else and their grandmother, I snagged a copy of New Leaf yesterday (I had preordered the game in November '12 so it's about time!). For those who are already in my friend roster, you're always free to drop by. More often than not my gates are open while I'm playing.
As for anyone else, I'd love to be your friend too! My friend code is 1977 0653 5990. Feel free to leave me yours in a comment or note if you'd rather keep it private

I just figured you would all want to know :3c

I realize I'm not that active here lately, so I doubt any of you even noticed I was gone, but this past week I was at Disneyworld! I had a great time, rode EVERYTHING, got sunburned, ate Mickey's face (in ice cream form), all that good stuff. I took plenty of pictures too, and filtered through them all and put them on my tumblr. If you care to take a look, you can right here :3 http://abercrunchie.tumblr.com/

I'm bored and feel like watching a movie. You can join me, if you like. Starts at 9:00
http://www.livestream.com/kooeyskorner

So my Intuos 3 seems to have finally bit the dust, unless there is something I have not yet tried in terms of troubleshooting. Nearly an entire day of troubleshooting. For the past two months it's started having issues with recongizing its drivers, and now it simply can't detect them, no matter what I do. I've scoured the web for others having the same issue, tried all of the suggested fixes and nothing sticks. I'm quite sure I've exhausted all possibilities here. Unless some sort of Christmas miracle happens, I'm gonna have to shell out for a new model soon.

Since my art has been kinda dry lately I've decided to take up the recently-popular 30 Day Monster Girl Challenge on Tumblr. I'll be submitting "mini-dumps'' here every few days or so, but if you'd rather see more recent updates check out my Tumblr instead. Hopefully it'll get me out of this art block!

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I’m pretty sure I’ve already streamed this, but it’s been ages and I really, really love this movie.

Tonight at 9:00 PM EST on my livestream channel I’ll start broadcasting. Anyone’s free to join me :3

It's my birthday tomorrow. I couldn't think of anything I wanted, but I needed new socks.

I asked for socks for my birthday.

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Welp, I decided to change my Tumblr layout. The old one looked cool, but it was really limited as to what could be visible. Now I have an Ask page! O:
If there's anything you've ever wanted to know about me (Puffs) or my other characters, ask away and I'll join the bandwagon of drawing my answers!

http://abercrunchie.tumblr.com/ask

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Iron Artist
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It's currently for sale on Steam for $4.99. The reviews have been less than favourable, but I'm sorta tempted to get it just because of how outrageous the humour appears to be. Worth it?

A few of you already know that I've been trying to intentionally have a lucid dream for months. What's a lucid dream? Simply put, it's a dream where you're completely aware that you're dreaming, and you're able to control anything that happens. Some people have them naturally (lucky bastards...), but I've been working at it for some time. There are a variety of techniques to use. I'll post resources at the end of this journal.

Anyways, last night I made another attempt. The technique I've been using basically involves letting your body fall asleep and undergo sleep paralysis while your mind stays concious. It's a tricky thing to do, and I've always fallen asleep or have become distracted before the crucial moment comes. Last night was different though. I DID end up falling asleep again, but it must have been very close to when my body did. I immediately was "deposited" into my backyard, and I thought, 'Hey, wasn't I just in bed a few minutes ago?... OH SNAP. THIS IS A DREAM!'

I didn't want to go too crazy with creating and doing stuff since I would've probably lost lucidity, so instead I made myself fly casually around the neighbourhood which was pretty thrilling in itself. I've always had trouble flying in normal dreams, but this time it was effortless. I still remember feeling those little dips in my stomach whenever I made a dive, and it felt wonderful n//n

I'm going to keep trying. I have heard that once you manage your first lucid dream the following ones because easier, because you know what they feel like. I really hope it's true! I HAVE had one or two lucid dreams in the past, but they occured right in the middle of a normal dream, and were far too brief. With any luck I'll be having adventures of my own, which may or may not involve copious amounts of unmentionable things ://D *is shot*

If you're interested in some of the resources I've used, here they are:
Reddit's lucid dreaming forum - http://www.reddit.com/r/luciddreaming
Lucid dreaming wiki - http://en.wikibooks.org/wiki/Lucid_Dreaming
Dream Views informational site - http://www.dreamviews.com/content/


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Iron Artist
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So today started pretty horribly. I won't get into the details but the events that transpired left me in tears for over an hour. After that I was in a soulless, uncaring haze until it was time for me to go to work. I left early to browse around the mall before my shift started.

On a whim I picked up Ocarina of Time 3D. I just got a 3DS for Christmas and I really should've been saving my money, but screw you, it's ZELDA.

Work was uneventful, still in my 'meh' haze and not giving a shit. By the time I get home I remember I bought the game and decide to give it a try.

Oh. My. God.

I don't CARE if I have Ocarina of Time on at least three other formats, as soon as I started the game it was like I became a child again and the ills of the day became NOTHING. I ran like a maniac around Kokiri Forest, laughing like a dope at the purdy three dee grafiks.

There's just something about this game, man. When I fired up Skyward Sword for the first time I was excited, yes, but nothing's come close to match the feelings I get for 'Ol' Reliable'.

I wuv you OOT ; W ;


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Iron Artist
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