So apparently it's my birthday...

Uhhhhh...

Send me cake and your used socks or something, idk

First off, thank you to everyone still watching my profile. I've been on hiatus before but this has got to be one of, if not the longest so far. So I'd like to explain a little for anyone interested. I haven't posted anything in... 2 years? So I'm really sorry if you follow me in the hopes of seeing my art.

Well, the past couple years have been difficult on us all no doubt, but tbh I'd been struggling with my mental health for years before the pandemic and all the chaos that came with it - which I think made me more susceptible to taking a hit from such a massive change in the way we live life.

One of the biggest struggles I've been facing for a while now is chronic pain. I won't get into the details (and please don't ask) but that's been an issue for about 3 years while I've been struggling to get medical attention for it. (Please don't recommend alternative therapies or herbal remedies, I haven't even had chance to rule out more widely medically accepted treatments that are supported by hard evidence. I'm not discrediting alternatives, I'm just not ready for them.) It's really thrown a spanner in the works as far as my everyday life is concerned and I've had to make some big adjustments. I'm only managing to work part time now and some hobbies (such as artwork) have become harder for me to engage in, partly directly because of the pain and partly because of the depression the pain is causing. The timing of a lot of the ways I've had to adapt also coincided with the timing of the pandemic so it's been super stressful for me to navigate so many changes in my life at once. I'm starting to get a bit better with the dumpster fire that is my mental health, I'm back on meds and I'll be starting to see a therapist in a few weeks so things are going in the right direction.

Frustratingly, I was trying to ease back into doing a bit of artwork towards the end of last year and beginning of this year, but in February I suddenly lost a really close relative and it completely knocked me down. Most of this year, I've simply been too depressed to engage in much beyond work and other necessities for survival - I haven't really been living, as such, just doing the minimum to keep going until things get better. And yes, things are gradually getting better... meds, therapist, bla bla I've already covered that. But I've made it through the grief and I'm in a better place for now.

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So anyway, I just wanted to get that stuff off my chest and explain why I've been gone. I'm not fishing for sympathy or anything like that, I mostly just wanted to apologise for pretty much disappearing and thank you all if you're still sticking with me. I definitely intend to make more art eventually (I've done a couple of little things but they're gifts for other people that I don't really want to share), but I don't know when. I've got to work within my own means from now on.

Thank you all once again for staying with me, and I hope I'll be able to sate your appetites for more kinky chaos when I'm ready.

I'm 22 now... Idk what difference that makes lol

I've kinda been ignoring uploads from the artists I watch bc I'm dumb, so I just went through like 9 or 10 pages of uploads to get up to date. Sorry if that means a ton of notifications for you!

They're possibly the dumbest creatures I've ever interacted with but I love them with all my heart. I'm basically gonna be a cat dad now, I think.

My intention with this account was always to be somewhat experimental and do the kinds of things that aren't always the most widely accepted, mostly for my own sake. Lately, I've been feeling almost stuck in a rut with the same few ideas cropping up and no desire to do them because I feel like they're just not so original. I'd like to delve a little deeper into my own kinks, and maybe even kinks that I'm not really into, to see if I enjoy the processes for that kind of thing a little more to reignite my interest. For example, I've never really done much inflation stuff, even though it's actually one of my bigger kinks, so I'd like to have a crack at that at some point. I also wanna try my hand at paw and foot stuff, which I've somewhat avoided in the past as my understanding of anatomy in that area kind of falls apart. There's a few other things that I'm thinking of trying, but those are probably the main ones.

Also, I feel conflicting things about my own style and the process behind creating it, so as daunting as it feels, I think I'd also like to see if I can get some more joy out of changing things up in that respect as well. I don't even know where to start with that, but it's definitely something I'm keeping in mind.

Lastly, I'd like to experiment with content that's not so much kink-related, more just broader ideas I haven't explored much. In time, I'd like to try some stuff with multiple characters - maybe SFW, maybe not, maybe kinky, maybe not - or maybe work on things like background info/lore surrounding my main, or any other characters that I come to create. I'm even considering some other stuff like gore, for example, which I've done before (away from my furry stuff), so I'll be sure to post accurate content warning journals and stuff if I do go ahead with that kind of thing.

I respect that it's not everyone's cup of tea, so I won't be hugely surprised or devastated if my small audience shifts and changes accordingly. This is more of a heads-up, just in case.

That's basically all I wanted to say for now, so my comments are open if there are any questions, feedback, or anything I've missed.

Unfriendly Protein Capsules: Hijacking Cells to Reproduce - a poorly written essay by innerbeast
(There's no essay)

My test came back positive, so I'm mostly gonna spend the next few days wrapped up in blankets and playing videogames.

So far so good, though - I have a fever and generally just feel like I have a flu, but as yet I've been through worse. I'll just have to wait and see how I progress.

Stay safe, everyone! Hope none of you get it :3

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Update (2021.01.31): I'm over it now, but it was pretty rough. Stay safe, everyone

I'm 21... That seems weird. Feels like I was 18 only a year ago, but I guess the past few years have been kinda chaotic! Haha

So 21 is still considered a milestone here, even though you can do pretty much anything from the age of 18. Traditionally, you'd get a key to the front door at 21 as a sign of trust from your parents, but considering I had to walk to and from school, they did that when I was 14 or so... And besides, I moved out 2 years ago.

I think the only actual changes, legally, are to do with car insurance, car rental policies, the ability to supervise a learner driver, and maybe also available motorbike licence categories.

If anyone thinks of anything I can do now that I'm 21 (in the UK), let me know! Haha

What are people listening to these days? Idek anymore.

I'm really liking the beat of some of the stuff from Camp by Childish Gambino at the minute, but I can't really identify with the lyrics (being a young white homosexual). The other day my ear worm was Die Fantastischen Vier, but I think it helps that I can just ignore the lyrics by not trying to understand German. So either way, I think I'm digging the whole hip-hop rhythm at the minute. I'll give anything a go, though.

I can't sleep, but at least the music's helping me chill out. My mind just hasn't switched off yet for me to go to sleep.

Anyway, that's not important, I just want some music recommendations for now. What are you listening to? :3