So, with the ending of RMFC I need to go to some new conventions to see folks. >.> Since I now live in Philadelphia, AnthroCon is definitely tempting, but honestly I think it's a bit too big to attend without friends. So, alternatives. I'm definitely going to attend Furrydelphia in August, since, y'know, it's practically next door, even more than RMFC was when I lived in Colorado. I'm also thinking of attending FA:U the week after, but if I attend that I need to figure out a rooming situation. There's also a chance I'll be heading to MFF, though that depends more on finances and class scheduling when that rolls around (even in grad school I have yet to escape classes >.<). So... I guess is anyone going to FA:U that either has a room and needs people to fill it or is still in need of a room?

I keep forgetting that I should probably announce this, in case friends are looking. So yeah. I'll be at RMFC this year. Feel free to look for me.

Hello people who happen to read this! Good whatever time it is in your place to you!

On to the important stuff. My computer's been fixed up and is now usable!_{actually it's been fixed since before Thanksgiving}BUT ANYWAY that's the good news. However, the problem of timing has become increasingly challenging, seeing as I'm now in college and rather busy. >.> As such, any possible future streaming is... up in the air. I need to work out my weekly itinerary of classes, homework, job work, and a few events I've already decided I want to commit to. I can say, however, that it will likely be in the morning-early afternoon area, since I'm going to be getting into a 6:30am wake-up time. My roommate likely won't be happy with it, but with 7:45am labs Monday through Thursday it's gonna be a "suck it up" kind of situation.

In other news, I'm thinking I might start doing some vlogging about stuff and things once I get a charger for my camera. I'm hoping it might help me remember what's going on from day to day or week to week, since I regularly legitimately cannot remember what I did some days. More dance videos are a definite thing, though, mostly because yay, dancing!

That'll all happen later, though. Until January 19th, I'm still at my home in Colorado for winter break with just my laptop. Hopefully I won't just spend all my time surfing the web and instead will actually get some sewing projects done, like armor for fencing with the SCA (did I mention I fence now? I fence now, with the Society for Creative Anachronism. There, it's mentioned) and maybe a good rabbit hat like the one I had when I made Laninumo. I miss that hat... hence my remaking of it! :D

That should cover all that I wanted to say... Congratulations, reader, you're in the exclusive club of "Reading Inumo's Journals!" Be proud in your uniqueness!

P.S. I have a tumblr and a Weasyl now. Probably going to use the Weasyl just for the sake of consistency, though the jury's out on whether or not I'll upload any old art there. High likelihood of not using the tumblr for much of anything.

As much to move that last journal from the front page as anything, I figured I should tell you, hey! I'm doing NaNo again this year! So far it's been... interesting. Rather than write something hoping to win, I decided just to experiment with something and start a story literally in medias res. Like, seriously, stuff's been happening before, and maybe half the important stuff's already happened, but we're still going with it. None of the characters are described as though it's the first time; I'm slowly dropping details about them. Anyways, it's gonna be interesting. So far, character wise, I've got Gregory, a human and arguably the main character of the story; Manuel, a rabbit-man with a temper and a wife; Lindsey, a fire elemental; Joshua, a devil that's currently been awake a bit too long and doesn't look quite so human anymore; Nikolas, Gregory's boyfriend(?) who's been kidnapped; and Zydia, the evil warrior-mage that's taken a bunch of folks hostage to blackmail them into adventuring for her. Manuel lost his wife, Joshua lost his son, Lindsey lost her parents, and now Gregory's lost Nikolas to Zydia's kidnappings. Joshua and Lindsey are in a relationship, and as mentioned Gregory and Nikolas are somehow closely bonded though I'm really not sure boyfriend is gonna be the best relation. It's a medieval/magical setting, pretty standard fantasy I guess with some playing around with different peoples in the world. I'd tell you more, but I'm not kidding when I say I haven't a clue what else is going on here on a large scale.

It's going to be an interesting month.

Super ultra mega disclaimer! I know for a fact I'm gonna be dropping spoilers about the book The Night Circus. It's a wonderful book, I love the world, I highly suggest that you read it, and if you're going to read it based on my suggestion alone and hate spoilers you'll want to stop reading now. Actually before you go, take my advice and play http://nightcircus.storynexus.com before you read the book. The UI's terrible, but it has some things of value and if you try playing after reading the book it will have lost a lot of it's wondrous mystery. Okay, now go and read The Night Circus. Still here? Alright, second warning: this is gonna get angsty. Super angsty. Seriously. Before I get super into it, though, I'm gonna give...

Some Reasons Why

It's been proven in the past that nobody reads these things (my journals), so the question undoubtedly arises, why am I writing this? Well, I'm hoping that by putting these feelings into words, I can either let them go or fight them off later on. Y'know, catharsis. If that's the only reason, though, why am I writing it here? Why not post it to deviantArt, where even fewer people care, or better yet, just write it into a word doc and save it to a flash drive, never to be read? Well (again), I guess I like thinking that maybe, some day, someone will come by and read this and go, "Yeah, I know how you feel," and then they'll send me a note and we'll start talking and a relationship will form and everything will be sunshine and perfectly warm weather and unicorns will frolic through the fields, farting rainbows and pooping butterflies. Yeah, totally gonna happen. So, the broad-spectrum why is now answered, but I think I've probably pretty heavily implied that these feelings are not new; people who follow me on Twitter can probably scroll through my tweets and find a particular four-tweet bundle that demonstrate this quite well. So why now? Simple: I read a book. Specifically, The Night Circus. I'm gonna be dropping some references to this book, and I'll try to explain the references in less than two sentences in case whoever reads this in the near or far future hasn't read The Night Circus. I will say though, this isn't the first time a book's sent me into this state, this is just the most recent example; hopefully the rant will explain why on its own. Now, without further ado...

The Rant

To start off, I'm going to say right now that I'm not depressed. Or at least, I don't feel depressed, or that what I'm feeling should be classified as depression because depression lingers long after the sun rises and the day begins, and I can make these feelings go away just by doing the breakfast teleport. Really, it's more of a melancholy, but it's a melancholy I find I wear like a shroud far too often for my liking. It feels like someone suspended a pair of five pound weights inside my ribcage, one behind the center of each pectoral muscle. Nothing painful, nothing that I can't work around, but it's certainly there. For a time I thought perhaps they might be chakras that were being under- or over-expressed, but apparently there aren't any quite like this, so that idea's out the window and I haven't a clue why these weights in particular are felt. I can, however, describe the melancholy. I've figured out that much, at least, and for that I'm glad because I'm sure I'd be halfway to insane otherwise. Or maybe I'd just have an earlier bedtime, and would be living a better life for it, but I don't know and it's really beside the point. End result, this melancholy is the acute awareness of my apathy and the void of strong feelings towards any one particular thing.
The most obvious, and most incessant, example is that of romance. I'm of an age where many people have, at some point or another, had a crush; as many if not more have dated seriously. I am part of neither group. To reference Gone Home, I have never met someone and seen a gold star around their head, begging for me to get to know them. I have never felt like I was truly intimate with any one person over any other. Meanwhile, I read books about how people are content with living forever just with one person, and though I can conceptualize the idea, not once have I felt anything comparable. I can't say, "It's like X, but stronger;" I've never experienced that initial emotion, I have no day zero event. So, strong feelings of romance are out the window for me. What else?
What else is I'm asexual. No shame in it, there are plenty of times that I love how much it simplifies things because nowhere in my thought process is, "Sex is amazing, let's try getting more of that." I'm tempted to say more, but honestly, this is a public forum; I don't want to spill my guts to people just to be judged on words that were written after midnight when I was in a bad mood. Back on topic, asexuality is great most times. The problem comes when you're the only one like this... No details, but basically I had my asexuality brought to the forefront of my mind recently. It's one more sensation that I don't have, a talking point among friends where all I can do is shrug when it comes up. Another strong emotion, gone. Is there anything else?
Maybe. Kinda sorta maybe not really no. Stories pass around about people my age and younger doing amazing things, having these driving passions for science, or business, or whatever, pushing them to glory. What do I have? A lot of hobbies. Far too many hobbies. Reading, writing, drawing, video games, board games, tabletop RPGs, listening to music, playing music, costuming, martial arts, fashion, parkour, cooking, dancing, crafting, tarot cards, hosting events. Notice what's not on the list? Watching TV. Watching movies. Watching sports. Playing sports. Alcohol. Seriously, I go to college in the land of American football and beer, and I partake in neither, and it makes my weekends the most boring things on Earth, consisting of sleeping, websurfing, and maybe some procrastinating on things that actually matter somewhat like classwork or scholarships. Heck, I'm not even sure if I should bother with classwork or scholarships sometimes. End result, passion for causes, or science, or whatever, tossed out with the bathwater.
Let's see, what other strong feelings are there? Oh, triumph and tragedy. I once read some inspirational quote saying something like, "Everyone has a crowning moment in their life, and everyone has experienced a tragedy." They clearly hadn't met me. I may have achieved great things relative to my peers and my surroundings, but nothing has been a significant achievement on a personal level. I haven't worked to get where I am, just kinda let things happen. As for tragedy? Well, the frequently espoused "feels" over characters dying (like Herr Thiessen in The Night Circus [see I told you I'd drop spoilers]) is only momentary for me, so cross that off the list. And sure, I've had pets die, and my grandfather's passed, but I don't feel anything about these events. Death is, at least for the time being, a part of being alive. Say, where'd that list go? All I see is a bunch of crossed out words.
Watch as all this life just zooms by! All the riders in their cars shout over the wind, "Don't stick out your thumb, it's a terrifying ride for nothing!" But no, I grew up wanting to experience everything, though whether that was nature or nurture I couldn't begin to say. So I throw out my arm, I crank my thumb, I try to catch a ride, and still no car stops and I'm left with naught but a mouthful of dust and weary, blistered feet.
I'm honestly not sure why I'm writing this, ultimately. No outside influence can somehow give me a strong emotion. I can't just pick up causes like pebbles on the beach. Consoling responses do nothing but leave a bitter taste in my mouth as they say, "Just wait." I get it, I'm barely a man, I still have a long life ahead of me. But still, that fear hangs over me like a swollen rain cloud, whispering, "Your life is no mountain to be marked, climbed, and used to teach those you leave behind how to climb higher and higher mountains. Your life is a prairie, a plain that time will flood and leave nothing behind. You will be nothing." And nothing I have done, seen, or known will place me as more than an implication from a generalized statistic in a footnote on the life and times of my generation.

Perhaps one day I'll come back to this, and update it as I reassess this melancholy that clings in the late hours of the night. Perhaps.

Okay, so I know nobody reads this but screw it I can shout at the Internet for as long as I want so there pbth. Anyways, a general update on my situation. Firstly, I'm officially at UW-Madison!_{I mean it's been two weeks and classes started Tuesday so it's nothing particularly new cough cough}ANYWAY in the process of moving, I shipped my computer via USPS with the packing materials I had on hand (those air bag things and as many packing peanuts I could use to fill in the cracks). Let it be known, that was a bad idea. The case is dented to heck and, to make matters worse, my PSU died. Yeah, not a fun situation. So, basically, I'm doing everything on my laptop now, hence the general silence here (I'm not exactly much louder anywhere else, but here especially). This is also why streaming is not a thing that's happening for a while yet. Fortunately, I got insurance on the package, it's just a matter of finding the necessary paperwork and filing it which... is proving to be a little more difficult than originally planned, but it all should work out anyways. The upside of not having my desktop is it's forcing me to go out and be social instead of just sitting in my room being a creep all day e'eryday. Speaking of, if any of you are at UW-Madison (or surroundings) and want to chill, send me a note!

Anyway that oughta do it for my ramblings into the void. NaNoWriMo's coming up in, what, two months? I might be doing some character art for that soon so I'm not working off incomplete mental pictures. Oh, and I've discovered why people doodle in their notebooks because lecture can be kinda boring sometimes. Prolly gonna toss my sketchbook into my backpack so I can use that more than my notebook. A punk shark girl's kinda waiting for me to move her over, since she wasn't exactly happy about having to sit through part of a Chinese lecture. She has a sister too, but she wouldn't let me bring her into class. I'm pretty sure her sis would've liked it, though... Oh well. *shrug* Oh! And, I've finally finished learning the dance for MAMA! So that's a thing I'm going to be filming as soon as I can shanghai someone into filming me. Hopefully soon. Anyways. Bye!

So, I'm moving to UW-Madison this Sunday! Only thing is, I already had my computer shipped out, so I can't exactly stream this week, and I'm probably going to be re-evaluating when I stream once I get settled in. Figured I'd let people know before Friday came and went, though I should ask, do people read these journals...? Dunno if it's worthwhile to keep posting when I'm not streaming according to schedule if folks don't check in. Let me know in the comments!

P.S. If any of y'all are in Madison, let me know and I'm sure we can meet up at some point.

So, prolly shoulda done this earlier, but who cares! It's a journal that isn't "Hey, I'm not streaming!" On to the info stuff! (Stealing this from frickin' everywhere though most recently  silverfox5213)

Where are you staying?
At the con hotel... I think. Honestly not entirely sure. >.>

What day are you getting there?
Friday!

What day are you leaving?
Monday! Because driving home late at night after three days of con is a bad idea!

How are you traveling?
En coche, porque puedo. Y si no puedes hablar español, jajajajajajajajaja.

Who are you rooming with?
People! Who I met on the Internet! I am clearly the safest person ever. |D

Who will you hang out with during the convention?
*big shrug* Haven't a damn clue. Might be talkin' with  aixarata somewhere along the way, maybe  rileycoyote but seriously dunno.

How is the best way to find you?
I'd say call me, but you don't have my number, so just... uh... look for badges saying "Inumo?" Actually, I'll be wearing my fox hoodie from Canada Cosplay, and I'll have my Fi (DMFA character) messenger bag from Illuminated Rivets, so those'll work to spot me too.

Are there any panels you might be attending?
Uh, uh, *looks at event schedule* Gonna try and watch 2's show, maybe attend the "Exploring the Fandom Through Data" one because I'm a nerd, possibly pop in periodically to the poi panels (I put periodically in there just to make it alliterate more, shut up). I don't really know. Though if there ends up being an art jam totally gonna be there.

What do you look like?
Skinny guy wearing cargo/tripp pants and a graphic tee with black hair reaching about to the eyebrows in front, maybe halfway down the neck in back, and a pair of rectangular, business-y-looking glasses.

Will you be suiting?
Nope!

Do you do free art?
Uh... Assuming I'm in a situation where drawing is a good idea, sure! I mean, in the middle of a panel about something else, or right before one, prolly not a good time, y'know, but during teh free tiems...

Do you do trades?
Assuming people don't mind trading their artwork for my crappy stuff, I'm up for it!

Do you do badges?
I don't have the materials for it, so no, not right now at least.

Do you do commissions?
I'd be mildly worried if someone wanted to pay me for my art skills, but if it ends up that that's something people want, I won't say no...

What is your gender?
Male. Lovely binary question, ain't it?

How tall are you?
Just under 6ft. Like, seriously just under. I might actually be 6ft at this point if I grew since I last measured.

Can I talk to you?
Feel free, though unless you've got conversation topics to bring up talking with me might be a little odd, because then I'm supplying the topics and my mind is a crazy place.

Can I touch you?
... o.o Yes...? I mean, if you're just getting my attention or shaking my hand or something like that, sure, but if you're doing back rubs or something I'd like to know you first. Hugs are OK, so long as if you're gonna do it for a long time I can still do other stuff. It's kinda awkward being in a hug you're no longer contributing to, I speak from experience.

Can I visit your room?
No clue why you'd do that, but I... guess? I have to talk with the folks that I'm sharing the room with just to be sure. (Seriously doubt this answer is going to end up being necessary, but.)

Can I buy you drinks?
So long as it's non-alcoholic, sure? Kinda under the drinking age here, so. Yeah.

Can I give you stuff?
Uh... Sure? Of course, unless it's like candy or something small like that I'm gonna wonder why the heck you're doing something like that.

Are you nice?
I try to be, though I'm also a jerk because probably eighty percent of my jokes are insult-based. The other twenty percent are stolen from comedians, by the way.

Will you be going to parties?
I might try, but I doubt it. Parties are weird things, y'know.

If I see you, how should I get your attention?
Yelling my real name's your best bet, but I'm not gonna give away my real name here. So next best bet is to yell "Inu" or "Inumo," or walk in front of me and say "Hey." That's actually probably going to work out better than trying to use my 'net name.

Where will you be most of the time during the day/s?
Probably in the game room. I'm gonna be bringin' Infiltration, Borogove, Quarriors (with the corruption expansion), Gloom, 3 sets of Treehouse to allow for Binary Homeworlds (even though oh god that game so long), Dixit, and Smallworld (with every expansion).

What/where will you be eating?
We'll see when we get there! Honestly, probably 25% hotel food, 75% food from the nearby mall.

Can I come with you for food/fun/etc?
Sure! Just make sure you've introduced yourself first. I kick.

Can I take your picture?
I don't see why not, though I would like warning so I can make horrible faces pose appropriately.

What's your goal(s) for the con this year?
Make friends! Have fun! Get a commission or two even though I'm a broke soon-to-be college student! |D (So smart.)

So, obviously, I didn't do any streaming today. Reason being that I was doing a kung-fu test. As a result, I'm gonna stream tomorrow (Saturday, 7/13 SHUT UP IT ISN'T AFTER MIDNIGHT YET) in the evening, around when I normally stream. I'll see you then; in the meantime, I'm just gonna go... crash...

Would anyone be interested in watching me stream games at some point? No clue what games I'd play, but who knows.

So, I'm going to see Man of Steel when I normally would start setting up for streaming; as a result, streaming will be later in the evening than normal. Just a heads up.

Okay, so. I just moved up to my room with my desktop, since my mom wanted me out of my basement. Pros? I can do things as late as I want in the privacy of my own room. Cons? My frickin' wireless. Seriously, I got an adapter, but it doesn't really seem to work since I move it six frickin' inches and suddenly nothing will load anymore. My phone works fine, my laptop works fine, but my desktop? Nope. >:| I am an unhappy bird/lanine.

So, I forgot to start early with streaming, and at least until my wireless card comes in I can't stream after my bro goes to bed (since he's taken over the basement where my computer is). As a result, I'm going to stream tomorrow, probably around seven o' clock.

Sorry if folks were expecting to watch today!

In case it wasn't already obvious, I'm not streaming tonight after all the graduation stuff, so as promised I'll look into tomorrow night. However, my brother has taken over my basement, which is where my desktop is. As a result, at least until I get a wireless card, I'm going to have to stream pretty early if I want 3-4 hours. I'm going to shoot for 6PM GMT-7 (5PM PST, 7PM CST, 8PM EST).

So. I'm graduating from high school this Friday! This has a high likelihood of messng with streaming that night, though, so I'll be late starting up (assuming I even can stream). If I can't do it, I'll see about doing some streaming on Saturday.

Just thought you should know.

So, while I know few people will probably care, I'm going to be out of state this Friday (4/19/13) and thus unable to stream. I might do one Wednesday evening, but that would be it.

Just thought you should know. >.>

Based on last week's experiment, I've decided I'm going to start doing art streams on Fridays instead of Tuesdays. Just lettin' y'all know.

So, since it's Spring Break, I figure I'll compare Tuesdays and Fridays for streaming. Hence, I'll be streaming tomorrow night and Friday night, and we'll see how it goes.

After this week's stream on Tuesday, I discovered that although I don't have to get up super early on Wednesdays, I stll need to get up earlier than my body wants when I'm drawing after midnight. In light of this, I'm thinking about moving streams to Friday evenings, where I can often start earlier and I don't have to get up the next day until close to noon. Any thoughts on the matter? I won't be streaming today (3/22), regardless of my decision.

P.S. The "Done" button on an iTouch keyboard is really poorly placed considering I keep bumping in when going to hit the "P" key. >:|

So, for those of you that haven't heard of it, I'm doing NaNoWriMo this year (learn more at http://www.nanowrimo.org :U). Currently all I've got is a set of 4 songs and 6 pictures for inspiration, an idea of what the heck I'm going to do (Dresden Codak's Dark Science meets Dishonored with a dash of meaning, somewhere), and 255 words. Yep, day 1's ending and I've only got 255 words. >.< Anyways, for the month of November streaming will be story time. In other words, I'll be telling you guys the story as I'm writing it. Hopefully, this'll be interesting. Don't hesitate to remind me to add ninjas if it gets too boring, or pull a dare from the forums.

Anyways, anyone else doing the 50,000 word challenge?

I'm thinking I might try and make Tuesday night streams a regular thing, just to build up the art habit again. I should be able to get all my homework done in time, at least. Here's to hoping I can do it tomorrow night!