Today is my 55th birthday, but with all things considered, it will be just another day in my life, nothing special. <sigh> Sometimes, you do get what you wish for, but not in the way you wanted. When I was much younger, I wish for the events in my life to "calm down"; I thought of my life as a "soap opera". I wish my life were less exciting. Guess what? The tedium is now getting to me and the monotony is getting to me nearly as bad as what the excitement was in the past. It's true: be careful what you wish for - it may come true.

Well, I've been on dialysis now for a few weeks and my appetite has increased and my weight has decreased. I no longer have "cankles" and I don't feel like I'm walking on water balloons.I haven't been on it long enough to get used to it; don't know if I ever will. I just pray every day I do this that I won't have any kinds of difficulty that day. I'm being tempered like ore in a blacksmith's stall and I know that I will improve from this. I have to. I can't afford not to. Besides, I haven't finished my "bucket list" yet.

I will be having outpatient surgery today @ 2 o'clock @ Whitfield Hospital in Dalton. Afterwards, I will be incommunicado till Friday. Wish me luck that all goes well and I will be able to finally get to use this fistula for my dialysis.

This Wednesday, I will be heading up to Dalton to have surgery done on my left wrist to enable me to have dialysis done. All this just so I can get my blood sucked out of my body, run thru a filter, and pumped back into me. yay -_-
Well, I have no one to blame for all of my problems as everything wrong with me had been self-inflicted. Once I realized that, I now have a better grasp of my situation. I hope that I can heal from this quickly. The medical peoples are talking that I might be starting diaysis in August. yay again >_<

I survived another year of living on the Big Blue Marble. Yay me!

Under the advice of a couple of my friends, I may be heading back to the hospital. My legs are getting weaker and harder to bend. If I wait too long, I will not be walking at all at this rate. Pray that I can get something done at the hospital besides the people there "throwing medicine" at my condition.

OK, I haven't written a journal in quite a while and for those who give a flip (all both of you) this might make a differnce.

Since my last journal post, I have had situations come up due to my lack of having a stead paycheck or any kind of paycheck (I am on the SNAP or old Foodstamps program).

My doctor's administrator had informed me that I had to show some "good will" by paying for the doctor's services. I'd love to if I had any kind of money to give, but they were expecting like $20 a week when I do good to have a quarter for a month.

So I had to stop going to this doctor. When the prescription for my lasiks (pills to reduce fluid weight) ran out, I was fooled into thinking that I could "diet control" this situation.

I have never been so wrong in my entire life. I now have exceeded to weight I bore from the hospital and can barely walk, stand or much less function as a human being. My clothes are too small and I have a new problem. My left ankle feels like it has a pinched nerve.

All of this has brought me to a decision: I have to go back to the hospital. I am planning on going after Christmas, but I hope nothing more serious comes up (knocks on wood furiously).

Those who are members/friends in my Yahoo! groups can relay this if necessary and I am hoping to get things back under control and keep it that way.

I have reached a milestone in my life.

When I was released from the hospital Feb., I weighed 210 lbs., could barely wear any of my clothing and was miserable. Now it's June and according to my scales, I now weigh 180 lbs., can fit into my "skinny" jeans and I feel better.

I still have a lot more healing to do, but I am on the right road to healing.

Thank you God for giving me the perseverance to go through this. With YOU, I can do all things.

Last month, I admitted to myself that I was sick enough to go to the hospital. This is the first time I've been to the hospital, sick, EVER! I did go once as a teenager, but it was due to an accident, not sickness. Since I am not young any more, I thought I had better do something about the situation. Glad I did!

It seems that I have a plethora of problems now. I was diagnosed with congestive heart failure (according to a doctor friend of mine, he said my heart was at 34$ efficiency), high blood pressure and diabetes. I could not have combined two of the worst ailments possible if I tried, but there you go. Next to no sodium (table salt) and next to no carbs (sugar).

Anyway, this Saturday will be a month out of the hospital and I am still going, just not as strong. Taking my meds like a good little boy and I am *trying* to do what the nurses/doctor tells me, so I can live just a bit longer.

As an aside, I always thought cancer would be what would take me out. Seems I had to follow (kinda) in my two sister's footsteps, without the heart attack, though.

PS: Oh I almost forgot the best part! I now have a permanant cough due to the CHF. /martian Isn't that special? /martian

Well, it looks like I have to say goodbye to anyone from DA that even gives a flying rip about what I say here.

Monday morning, I will be contacting my provider and telling them to turn off my service and to help me make arrangements on paying them off. *That's* going to be fun!

All this means that I will not be responding to messages here from Monday Oct. 1st, 2012 till I somehow manage to get back on line.

Till then, God bless all of you.

Dale signing off. ;_;

Well, as it stands, I have lost what pitiful amount of cash flow I had coming in once a month to pay my two main bills (insurance and internet, in case you're curious) plus the person who was helping me pay my electricity as well.

It seems I will have to either a) Get a job around here, b) See if my relatives will let me move back in with them, or c) find an unending source of money. C would be preferable, A less stressful (I hope) and B is undesirable.

I hate my life right now.

I hate this time of year!

Just as my birthday rolls around, I get this flaming case of depression, and it makes my birthday miserable. It doesn't help nowadays that I am alone. At least I don't get suicidal or anything like that, just morose.

I would probably cheer up if I had friends that would be able to physically come to visit, but either they live too far away or they are too busy with their own lives to come by and say a few words to someone that has known them for a few years.

Ah crap, whining about it won't make things any better, nor will it cause things to happen.

Yeah, I'm screwed, blued and tatooed.

Whatever.

Well, seems like I will either be homeless soon or at the least of it without utilities, which is just as bad.

A part time job I had which barely kept me off the streets and in a gov't housing apartment has fell through with the death of my employer's husband. She has now realized how important his paycheck was with his passing. I am all but fired now, waiting as I am for my last check, if I get it at all.

She was talking like she may not pay me at all for this month, but I am hoping otherwise. She is not that mean spirited, but she also is still grieving.

Those of you that read this and are religious, all I ask for from you are prayers that I will find a way not to lose my apartment and to be able to continue living here. I more than likely will lose my internet connection within the upcoming month, as I won't have the $30 to pay for it.

I am trying not to be depressed about all this, but it's not easy.

1. How tall are you?
5' 6"

2. Natural hair color? (if you can remember it)
Auburn red with white at temples

3. What about eye color?
Blue/green hazel

4. What orientation are you?
Straight

5. What do you do in your spare time?
Surf the web, read, watch dvd's or play Neverwinter Nights

6. What's your job?
Contractual secretary

7. What's one thing you like about yourself?
Willingness to learn.

8. Alright, now what about something you dislike about yourself?
Laziness beyond the point of procrastination.

9. What's some things your friends noticed about you when they first met you?
My appearance does not match my personality.

10. Of what faith/religion are you(if any at all?)
Christian religion, Baptist denomination, Open-minded faith.

11. Do you drink?
No, don't like what happened when I did.

12. Do you smoke?
No.

13. What are your fears?
Spiders specifically and creepy-crawlies in general.

14. What are your dreams/goals?
To make it through life without having to be a bother to others (friends/family).

15. Ever had any crushes/ex's in the past/present?
I've had a few. Got to marry my best friend ever.

16. Who's your best bud?
A couple who I think of as the younger brother and sister I never had..

17. Alright, you got the cravin' for munchies, what'cha reachin' for?
Home-cooked hot dogs, hamburgers, steak fries with a thick home-made chocolate milk shake.

18. Favorite drink?
Milk, Mnt. Dew, Kool-aid, Pepsi.

19. Favorite color?
Blue

20. If you had any super power, what would it be?
I would love to become optically invisible without all of the physical problem inherent to doing so (blindness, durt/dust sticking to you, having to go nude).

21. Favorite movie?
Eclectic tastes, too many to list.

22. Least favorite food?
Tomatoes (I'm intolerant of them).

23. Quick! You have only one meal left before you die!!! What is it?
Sirloin steak with baked potato, chef's salad, butter yeast rolls and chocolate mousse for dessert.

24. What do you drive/wish you drove?
With gas prices the way they are, none of the above.

25. Most disliked bug?
Yes.

26. Most hated pet peeves?
People who think they are smarter than they really are, people who use words that they don't even know the meaning, people who judge others without reason/are prejudiced, etc.

27. Dislike in life?
See above.

28. Most annoying?
See #26.

29. Most disliked TV show?
Don't watch TV. Best thing that I ever did.

My computer problem has been solved and more!

I now have two used but working computers! They were given to me by a man who had more than a little surplus (5! computers). His daughter pointed me at him and I am glad she did.

The devil tried to take away my computer and GOD just told me,"Never mind him, I'll give you two."

Well, things have been going smoothly lately, which means that the sabot has to be flung into the gear works once more.
Apparently my computer picked up a bug from an email my employer ask me to check for her. That was Saturday. Last night the fan in my power supply started sounding like it was about to tear through the vent and then ..silence. As in the fan stopped completely.
I am having to use a battery-powered external fan to blow on the power supply to keep my computer running. A friend from church said her dad might could help me out with another power supply or maybe even another computer.. This will make the 2nd computer (if they decide to go that route) that I've had to replace in less than that many years. I hope it's not becoming a trend!

I don't know what kind of techno-virus or such is going around, but a lot of the people that I know (can't call them all friends) have been having computer problems of some sort. Well, guess what? I had to perform emergency surgery on my desktop computer to remove my boot drive (2 hd's one boot, one data).
Lucky for me the data drive had a previous copy of an operating system on it, but I had what amounted to a mute, blind computer. Nearly changed it's name from Frankenstien's monster to Helen Keller,

A local friend helped me with that and I am glad to say that I am happily limping along with a 200 G hd on here. It may be wounded, but it lives again.

Hard to keep a good shield guardian down!

Got a letter from the courthouse today, saying that the trial that I was charged but did not attend (was held in another town, I have no means of transportation save for my feet or friends) found me guilty and owing several thousands of dollars on back payments on a van that they repo'ed and sold at auction. Since I am unemployed at the moment, reliant on the government on housing and food, I guess very soon I will be changing my address to the city jail or a local prison. Here I was thinking that I would have a nice boring Thanksgiving. Joy. -_-

Older sister is fine, apparently she didn't *have* a heart attack, just some painful micro fractures in her sternum for a hacking cough she has.

Younger sister did just a bit worse, had two stints put in and one of her arteries was 100% blocked (no wonder she had the heart attack!) but now she's home and on aspirin and other medicines and off cigarettes! Finally! She is using the patch to help her get off without going cold turkey.

All in all, a good ending to a bad week.

This seems to be a week of nothing but bad news.

First I was called up to the Housing Authority office, told I have two weeks to get proof of why I have not done my community service since January. I have to see a dr. to get a medical excuse, resume community service, or move out.

This happened Monday.

Tuesday, I hear my oldest sister had a heart attack. She was put into the hospital and she was given meds to help to stabilize her heartbeat. Wednesday, she was given a stress test to see how things would go. She passed it. Drs. were amazed and sent her home, telling her if any more chest pain, to come back.

Earlier tonight, my *other* sister had a heart attack, too. She was admitted to surgery and had 2 stints put in. One artery was complete blocked. She is still in the hospital, in recovery.

Bad news is supposed to come in 3's, right? This is all finished? I hope and pray so.

I think I will next year not bother with getting read for Halloween. Buy candy that the prepubescent larva don't need and then they don't even show up on your doorstep, after passing by my apartment 3-4 times!? I had my porch light on, my door was open, Halloween music was playing. Nothing!

Should have just dressed up as the wolfman as I said I was going to do and scared the living snot out of them. Yeah, that's the plan for next year. No treats for you!>:-}

In the past two weeks, my church has had 7 people, either members or related to members, die of some sort of condition.

Nothing to say at this time. Come back later.

I have never owned a device that either was an Apple, a Mac, or even an i-something, but I will acknowledge this: he definitely was a visionary, was known to be the hardest working person for Apple, even if he was the CEO and he had one of the biggest impact on nerd culture ever.

Goodbye, Mr. Jobs. I hardly knew ya.

*Steps up to the mike next to soapbox*

*taps mike*

Mike: Ow, quit it!

(sorry)

Ahem, about the banner. Parody is a means to make fun of somethings without coming right out and saying exactly what it is being made fun of. Most times, like this banner, the parody is blatantly transparent to the point that it is obvious shout of somebody with a recent lobotomy.

So in closing, suck it up, folks! It is supposed to be funny, not controversial!

*Steps down from soapbox*

Mike: Can I go home now? *cricket chirps* um...hello? *Mike leaves*