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A Little Update
Posted a year agoLong time no journal!
So recently I was diagnosed with fibroids, PCOS, endomitriosis, andadenomyosis. This cocktail of conditions had basically left me lethargic, foggy-headed, anemic, and in severe pain for the last few years. Most days I was in too much pain to even get around much. I spent most of my days in a fog just waiting for each day to be over because I was so fatigued that I didn't have the energy to do much of anything. My periods were very irregular and were VERY heavy, could last weeks or months, and left me with a fairly bad iron deficiency and regular anemia because of how much I was bleeding. My periods would also cause my mental health to plummet. I was often so cripplingly depressed that I'd spend all day crying and trying my hardest to find any excuse not to kill myself because of how bad the hormones were ravaging my mind.
My quality of life was absolute shit, to say the least.
Thankfully with this diagnosis I've also started treatment. It was very frustrating trying to get help and having so many doctors brush me off and not believe things were as bad as they were but FINALLY I was able to find a doctor who took me seriously and was able to find out what was wrong.
I'm currently on oral hormonal medication while I wait on an appointment to get an IUD. Turns out the treatment for my conditions was hormonal birth control and I could have had it years ago had doctors just listened and taken me seriously lol. But even after only a few weeks on hormones I'm already in significantly less pain, my mood and bleeding is regulated again, and my mind is clear for the first time in years.
This is the main reason I haven't been active as much here or really drawn more than a small handful of pictures in recent years. It wasn't until I had started taking my meds that I realized just how sick I was and how much time had really passed because, like I said, I was in a fog most days.
But I'm feeling much better now and I want very badly to start easing back into art. I miss drawing and interacting with people <3
So recently I was diagnosed with fibroids, PCOS, endomitriosis, andadenomyosis. This cocktail of conditions had basically left me lethargic, foggy-headed, anemic, and in severe pain for the last few years. Most days I was in too much pain to even get around much. I spent most of my days in a fog just waiting for each day to be over because I was so fatigued that I didn't have the energy to do much of anything. My periods were very irregular and were VERY heavy, could last weeks or months, and left me with a fairly bad iron deficiency and regular anemia because of how much I was bleeding. My periods would also cause my mental health to plummet. I was often so cripplingly depressed that I'd spend all day crying and trying my hardest to find any excuse not to kill myself because of how bad the hormones were ravaging my mind.
My quality of life was absolute shit, to say the least.
Thankfully with this diagnosis I've also started treatment. It was very frustrating trying to get help and having so many doctors brush me off and not believe things were as bad as they were but FINALLY I was able to find a doctor who took me seriously and was able to find out what was wrong.
I'm currently on oral hormonal medication while I wait on an appointment to get an IUD. Turns out the treatment for my conditions was hormonal birth control and I could have had it years ago had doctors just listened and taken me seriously lol. But even after only a few weeks on hormones I'm already in significantly less pain, my mood and bleeding is regulated again, and my mind is clear for the first time in years.
This is the main reason I haven't been active as much here or really drawn more than a small handful of pictures in recent years. It wasn't until I had started taking my meds that I realized just how sick I was and how much time had really passed because, like I said, I was in a fog most days.
But I'm feeling much better now and I want very badly to start easing back into art. I miss drawing and interacting with people <3
Migrating From Patreon To SubscribeStar
Posted 2 years agoI posted a submission with this same exact text but I'll post it here too just to make sure no one misses it!
With Patreon's new age verification requirements rolling out I'm making the decision to shut down my patreon and make the move to SubscribeStar.
At first I tried to go through with the process in fear of losing the extra bit of income but the app they're using to collect the data is completely broken for me. It won't work on desktop, laptop, tablet, or mine/my partner's phones. I am completely unable to actually submit the document required in order to verify that I'm an adult and patreon isn't helping me at all. I've hit a roadblock. And without verifying my age I will soon be blocked from accepting payments entirely. Patreon really shoved me into a corner where I have no real choice but to leave
But while seeing if others were having issues with their broken app and patreon's refusal to help, I found out a bit more about the company they're using to collect the data. Now, I DO understand the need to prove you're a legal adult in order to create nsfw content but I am wary of the company collecting said data. Can't say I'm super excited about a shady company having a copy of my passport on file just so I can draw tits like I have been for like 15 years now. (I haven't even mentioned the fumbling of payments this month and screwing a lot of people over...)
SO while this situation does suck it means I finally have a real reason to scrub up my SubscribeStar and use this as motivation to help me break into working on art again! Gotta look on the bright side!
I've got some revamped reward tiers and some fun goals set with more planned in the future as I get more comfortable working full time on art again! So I hope that anyone who was subbed to my patreon, and anyone who was considering subbing to my patreon, will consider supporting me on SubscribeStar instead!
https://subscribestar.adult/Dazadoop
https://subscribestar.adult/Dazadoop
https://subscribestar.adult/Dazadoop
I'll be spending my whole weekend and possibly even the following week or two reorganizing the content that's already on there as well as catching up on art that hasn't been posted on there yet! Everything is happening kind of suddenly so I'm trying to do this quickly while also making sure everything is nice and ready!
With Patreon's new age verification requirements rolling out I'm making the decision to shut down my patreon and make the move to SubscribeStar.
At first I tried to go through with the process in fear of losing the extra bit of income but the app they're using to collect the data is completely broken for me. It won't work on desktop, laptop, tablet, or mine/my partner's phones. I am completely unable to actually submit the document required in order to verify that I'm an adult and patreon isn't helping me at all. I've hit a roadblock. And without verifying my age I will soon be blocked from accepting payments entirely. Patreon really shoved me into a corner where I have no real choice but to leave
But while seeing if others were having issues with their broken app and patreon's refusal to help, I found out a bit more about the company they're using to collect the data. Now, I DO understand the need to prove you're a legal adult in order to create nsfw content but I am wary of the company collecting said data. Can't say I'm super excited about a shady company having a copy of my passport on file just so I can draw tits like I have been for like 15 years now. (I haven't even mentioned the fumbling of payments this month and screwing a lot of people over...)
SO while this situation does suck it means I finally have a real reason to scrub up my SubscribeStar and use this as motivation to help me break into working on art again! Gotta look on the bright side!
I've got some revamped reward tiers and some fun goals set with more planned in the future as I get more comfortable working full time on art again! So I hope that anyone who was subbed to my patreon, and anyone who was considering subbing to my patreon, will consider supporting me on SubscribeStar instead!
https://subscribestar.adult/Dazadoop
https://subscribestar.adult/Dazadoop
https://subscribestar.adult/Dazadoop
I'll be spending my whole weekend and possibly even the following week or two reorganizing the content that's already on there as well as catching up on art that hasn't been posted on there yet! Everything is happening kind of suddenly so I'm trying to do this quickly while also making sure everything is nice and ready!
Long Time No See
Posted 2 years agoWow... I haven't posted here in a while huh?
I'm truly sorry for the extended absence and total radio silence. A lot has been going on in my personal life that has impacted my ability to draw and be present on social media beyond a couple of discord messages here and there.
I don't want to go too deep into detail as it's rather personal and I'm not comfortable sharing everything but I'll share what I can so you can all understand why I've been so absent. It's not an excuse but it is a reason and something I've been working on getting over for a while now. I apologize for how long this journal is about to be but it's quite a long story. I'll make a TL;DR at the bottom for folks who don't want to read my novel.
Last year it finally happened and my partner and I got covid. Both of us were pretty sick for a few weeks but it definitely hit me harder. There were a lot of moments where it was getting so hard to breath that I was worried I'd have to go to the hospital but thankfully I managed to avoid that and recovered. Sort of.
In the following months I noticed that my emotions were totally out of whack. For the first time in my life I didn't feel depressed. I was unable to feel sad even in situations that I SHOULD feel sad. I couldn't really feel happy either. the only things I DID feel were either totally neutral or unreasonably angry, which is very out of character for me.
I was also EXHAUSTED pretty much all the time. I would get about 14-16 hours of sleep a night, struggle to stay awake for a few hours, nap for a few hours, and struggle to stay awake again until it was time for bed. Not only that but any amount of physical activity made my muscles ache like I'd been at the gym all day. Even something as simple as eating would just totally wipe me out. I slept a LOT for months after getting sick and not really doing much else because physically, I couldn't. It didn't stop me from trying though and I did do my best to try to keep up with housework and to draw. It usually didn't end well and made me worse off but I hated feeling so useless and kept pushing myself to be sort of functional.
I also saw a doctor, had a lot of tests run, but they couldn't find anything actually wrong with me. I was worried it may be long covid but my doctor wasn't convinced and eventually we hit a dead end. It also didn't help that my future in laws would say I should be grateful that covid seemed to "cure" my depression but then also get very frustrated that I was tired all the time and hadn't gone out and gotten a normal job and that I was actually worried that something seemed wrong with my brain because I didn't have normal emotions anymore. Anytime we saw them we dealt with hours of them nagging and badgering us about what failures we are in life, how everything we did was a mistake, and I just needed to try harder and get over it. This REALLY compounded my stress and self-loathing about my current health struggles which seemed to only make said health issues worse which then made them more upset at me and my short-comings. It was a stressful and awful cycle that I endured for MONTHS.
Now the part where I'm gonna keep it vague. My partner has thought I had a mental thing going on for a while now. In fact a lot of people have thought have the same thing but I was always in denial and didn't want to hear it. But him coming to be from a place of genuine concern and love made me finally look into it and turns out I tick all the boxes! The downside is that it's not possible for me to seek a formal diagnosis and therapy for this because if I did I would get deported and seeing as we JUST got me permanent residency (yay!) we don't want to risk losing that and the life we're building together. Australia has some pretty ableist immigration policies...
While we were doing our research about this and ways we can manage it ourselves we found a link between this and all of my health issues I had been dealing with since getting covid. Basically there was a chance that my health issues were triggered by the stress of getting covid (something I've been TERRIFIED about since this all started) and being overwhelmed mentally from all the pressure from future in laws and that nothing was actually wrong with me and I just needed a lot of self care to give my brain time to recover. Long story short, partner made me do nothing but relax for a couple months and a lot of my health issues cleared up. (I still have a lot of unrelated ones that are popping up lately but that's a whole other thing) This just made us more certain that I did have that mental thing and we'd have to make some accommodations to work with that which was pretty easy for us to do in our own home. But we still had to have a talk with his family and get them to understand what was potentially going on with me, why we couldn't seek a diagnosis, and why we needed to set some boundaries.
That talk did not go well. Like... at all.
Before we had the talk there was a death in my partner's family. The night it happened he had a fight with his mom where she spent hours saying that I was holding him back, ruining his life, and taking advantage of him and his money. So now we were not only having to have a discussion about the boundaries that I needed but the boundaries he needed as well. We barely got a word in the whole time because she kept talking over us, interrupting, making jokes, laughing, and then doubling down on her actions and making it clear she had no intention of changing the way she treats us despite us telling her how harmful it was. So after the funeral we made the difficult decision to go no contact with his parents so that he could work through his grief and issues with them and I could focus on getting better. (That also didn't go well because we haven't been able to go more than two weeks without someone bringin it up and calling us stupid for dragging this out and telling us to apologize already so it still feels very fresh)
This whole situation has a huge negative impact on my mental health and I started slipping back into the feelings of exhaustion and numb emotions. It's been a constant roller-coaster since then. I take time to take care of myself, start feeling better, then the fight is thrown back in our face, we're blamed for everything, I feel guilty and angry, I get bad again, I have to take care of myself to get better, and the cycle repeats. It's been fucking tiring and I don't know how much more I can take...
To top things off, my partner's sister is spreading these lovely rumors that I'm toxic and mistreating him which is only compounding my stress and making him very angry. She's ruined my relationship with his youngest sister and possibly damaged my relationship with his entire extended family. She was apparently also stalking my twitter for god knows how long and honestly who knows what other sites this spoiled 18 year old is watching me on at this point.
So to say we're dealing with a lot is an understatement. And the impact that all of this has had on my mental health has had some very physical consequences.
The good news is my partner's mother is very regretful of the fight and wants to work things out. Hopefully we'll all be going to family counseling together to work through these issues and move forward but I also don't want to get my hopes up to high. I'm keeping my expectations low while also being open to putting in whatever work I need to on my end to hopefully start repairing this whole fucking mess. But working through this whole thing with his family would be a huge weight off and allow me to get back to working on how to cope with my own mental shit in a way that's actually productive.
So there you have it! This is why I haven't been on FA in a long time or really drawn much of anything and why I'm even barely active on discord. Life's being a bitch, existence is pain, and I would give anything to get a break from it all long enough to actually get better.
TL;DR (sort of)
Got covid last year and was pretty sick. After covid my brain was broken and I couldn't feel anything but neutral or angry and also I slept like all the time. Saw doctor cause I was afraid it was long covid and got lots of tests but tests said I was fine so doc kinda gave up. Future in laws not happy that I'm so tired all the time and are mad I don't have a normal job and throw it in my face whenever we see them. Turns out it was actually a mental thing and the cure was long term self care. Partner loses a family member and then his picks a huge fight that very night to tell him all the ways I'm awful cause I'm not working a normal job. Partner and I decide we need to have a serious talk with his parents to explain everything and set some boundaries. Parents don't take us seriously at all and double down on their words and actions and say they won't stop or change so we decide we need to go no-contact for a while to work on ourselves. Partner's siblings and extended family keep messaging him every couple of weeks to tell him the fight is stupid, stop dragging it out, and apologize already so we end up not feeling like we're being given space at all and we both struggle to move past our hurt. Eventually his mom gives a sincere apology and suggests family counseling. Meanwhile his middle sister is spreading rumors that I'm abusive and stalking my social media for whatever reason. Still very stressed and trying very hard to not let it make me sick again so I can be functional again.
And TL;DR of the TL;DR:
Got covid but then got better. But also was still sick. Future in laws mad at me about it. Turns out it was all in my head and start getting better. Future in laws continue to suck and treat me and my partner badly. We try to set boundaries and they say "no" so we go no contact. His family blames us for the fight. His sister is spreading rumors about me and keeping tabs on me. We're both very tired of this whole thing
I'm going to keep trying to work on my mental health and get back to a good place again. I've been making small bits of progress here and there but it hasn't been easy and I've got a lot working against me at the moment but I do promise that I'm trying. And I'm lucky enough to have an amazing partner helping me along the way.
I'll try my best to be more present here (Especially because I need to start working again. Like really bad.) and get back to posting to art
I'm truly sorry for the extended absence and total radio silence. A lot has been going on in my personal life that has impacted my ability to draw and be present on social media beyond a couple of discord messages here and there.
I don't want to go too deep into detail as it's rather personal and I'm not comfortable sharing everything but I'll share what I can so you can all understand why I've been so absent. It's not an excuse but it is a reason and something I've been working on getting over for a while now. I apologize for how long this journal is about to be but it's quite a long story. I'll make a TL;DR at the bottom for folks who don't want to read my novel.
Last year it finally happened and my partner and I got covid. Both of us were pretty sick for a few weeks but it definitely hit me harder. There were a lot of moments where it was getting so hard to breath that I was worried I'd have to go to the hospital but thankfully I managed to avoid that and recovered. Sort of.
In the following months I noticed that my emotions were totally out of whack. For the first time in my life I didn't feel depressed. I was unable to feel sad even in situations that I SHOULD feel sad. I couldn't really feel happy either. the only things I DID feel were either totally neutral or unreasonably angry, which is very out of character for me.
I was also EXHAUSTED pretty much all the time. I would get about 14-16 hours of sleep a night, struggle to stay awake for a few hours, nap for a few hours, and struggle to stay awake again until it was time for bed. Not only that but any amount of physical activity made my muscles ache like I'd been at the gym all day. Even something as simple as eating would just totally wipe me out. I slept a LOT for months after getting sick and not really doing much else because physically, I couldn't. It didn't stop me from trying though and I did do my best to try to keep up with housework and to draw. It usually didn't end well and made me worse off but I hated feeling so useless and kept pushing myself to be sort of functional.
I also saw a doctor, had a lot of tests run, but they couldn't find anything actually wrong with me. I was worried it may be long covid but my doctor wasn't convinced and eventually we hit a dead end. It also didn't help that my future in laws would say I should be grateful that covid seemed to "cure" my depression but then also get very frustrated that I was tired all the time and hadn't gone out and gotten a normal job and that I was actually worried that something seemed wrong with my brain because I didn't have normal emotions anymore. Anytime we saw them we dealt with hours of them nagging and badgering us about what failures we are in life, how everything we did was a mistake, and I just needed to try harder and get over it. This REALLY compounded my stress and self-loathing about my current health struggles which seemed to only make said health issues worse which then made them more upset at me and my short-comings. It was a stressful and awful cycle that I endured for MONTHS.
Now the part where I'm gonna keep it vague. My partner has thought I had a mental thing going on for a while now. In fact a lot of people have thought have the same thing but I was always in denial and didn't want to hear it. But him coming to be from a place of genuine concern and love made me finally look into it and turns out I tick all the boxes! The downside is that it's not possible for me to seek a formal diagnosis and therapy for this because if I did I would get deported and seeing as we JUST got me permanent residency (yay!) we don't want to risk losing that and the life we're building together. Australia has some pretty ableist immigration policies...
While we were doing our research about this and ways we can manage it ourselves we found a link between this and all of my health issues I had been dealing with since getting covid. Basically there was a chance that my health issues were triggered by the stress of getting covid (something I've been TERRIFIED about since this all started) and being overwhelmed mentally from all the pressure from future in laws and that nothing was actually wrong with me and I just needed a lot of self care to give my brain time to recover. Long story short, partner made me do nothing but relax for a couple months and a lot of my health issues cleared up. (I still have a lot of unrelated ones that are popping up lately but that's a whole other thing) This just made us more certain that I did have that mental thing and we'd have to make some accommodations to work with that which was pretty easy for us to do in our own home. But we still had to have a talk with his family and get them to understand what was potentially going on with me, why we couldn't seek a diagnosis, and why we needed to set some boundaries.
That talk did not go well. Like... at all.
Before we had the talk there was a death in my partner's family. The night it happened he had a fight with his mom where she spent hours saying that I was holding him back, ruining his life, and taking advantage of him and his money. So now we were not only having to have a discussion about the boundaries that I needed but the boundaries he needed as well. We barely got a word in the whole time because she kept talking over us, interrupting, making jokes, laughing, and then doubling down on her actions and making it clear she had no intention of changing the way she treats us despite us telling her how harmful it was. So after the funeral we made the difficult decision to go no contact with his parents so that he could work through his grief and issues with them and I could focus on getting better. (That also didn't go well because we haven't been able to go more than two weeks without someone bringin it up and calling us stupid for dragging this out and telling us to apologize already so it still feels very fresh)
This whole situation has a huge negative impact on my mental health and I started slipping back into the feelings of exhaustion and numb emotions. It's been a constant roller-coaster since then. I take time to take care of myself, start feeling better, then the fight is thrown back in our face, we're blamed for everything, I feel guilty and angry, I get bad again, I have to take care of myself to get better, and the cycle repeats. It's been fucking tiring and I don't know how much more I can take...
To top things off, my partner's sister is spreading these lovely rumors that I'm toxic and mistreating him which is only compounding my stress and making him very angry. She's ruined my relationship with his youngest sister and possibly damaged my relationship with his entire extended family. She was apparently also stalking my twitter for god knows how long and honestly who knows what other sites this spoiled 18 year old is watching me on at this point.
So to say we're dealing with a lot is an understatement. And the impact that all of this has had on my mental health has had some very physical consequences.
The good news is my partner's mother is very regretful of the fight and wants to work things out. Hopefully we'll all be going to family counseling together to work through these issues and move forward but I also don't want to get my hopes up to high. I'm keeping my expectations low while also being open to putting in whatever work I need to on my end to hopefully start repairing this whole fucking mess. But working through this whole thing with his family would be a huge weight off and allow me to get back to working on how to cope with my own mental shit in a way that's actually productive.
So there you have it! This is why I haven't been on FA in a long time or really drawn much of anything and why I'm even barely active on discord. Life's being a bitch, existence is pain, and I would give anything to get a break from it all long enough to actually get better.
TL;DR (sort of)
Got covid last year and was pretty sick. After covid my brain was broken and I couldn't feel anything but neutral or angry and also I slept like all the time. Saw doctor cause I was afraid it was long covid and got lots of tests but tests said I was fine so doc kinda gave up. Future in laws not happy that I'm so tired all the time and are mad I don't have a normal job and throw it in my face whenever we see them. Turns out it was actually a mental thing and the cure was long term self care. Partner loses a family member and then his picks a huge fight that very night to tell him all the ways I'm awful cause I'm not working a normal job. Partner and I decide we need to have a serious talk with his parents to explain everything and set some boundaries. Parents don't take us seriously at all and double down on their words and actions and say they won't stop or change so we decide we need to go no-contact for a while to work on ourselves. Partner's siblings and extended family keep messaging him every couple of weeks to tell him the fight is stupid, stop dragging it out, and apologize already so we end up not feeling like we're being given space at all and we both struggle to move past our hurt. Eventually his mom gives a sincere apology and suggests family counseling. Meanwhile his middle sister is spreading rumors that I'm abusive and stalking my social media for whatever reason. Still very stressed and trying very hard to not let it make me sick again so I can be functional again.
And TL;DR of the TL;DR:
Got covid but then got better. But also was still sick. Future in laws mad at me about it. Turns out it was all in my head and start getting better. Future in laws continue to suck and treat me and my partner badly. We try to set boundaries and they say "no" so we go no contact. His family blames us for the fight. His sister is spreading rumors about me and keeping tabs on me. We're both very tired of this whole thing
I'm going to keep trying to work on my mental health and get back to a good place again. I've been making small bits of progress here and there but it hasn't been easy and I've got a lot working against me at the moment but I do promise that I'm trying. And I'm lucky enough to have an amazing partner helping me along the way.
I'll try my best to be more present here (Especially because I need to start working again. Like really bad.) and get back to posting to art
Slight Delay On Commissions
Posted 3 years agoJust giving everyone a heads up that commission work has been a bit delayed this last week.
I got my booster shot last week and it's hitting me a bit hard so I've been feeling pretty sick and haven't been able to do much of anything.
I'm going to try pushing through it though so I can get these commissions out but please be patient with me as I will be a bit slow until these side effects pass
I've got a few commissions to sketch up, a couple that need lines, one that's ready for color, and a couple quotes to send out so I'll do my best to get that done as fast as my body will let me <3
I got my booster shot last week and it's hitting me a bit hard so I've been feeling pretty sick and haven't been able to do much of anything.
I'm going to try pushing through it though so I can get these commissions out but please be patient with me as I will be a bit slow until these side effects pass
I've got a few commissions to sketch up, a couple that need lines, one that's ready for color, and a couple quotes to send out so I'll do my best to get that done as fast as my body will let me <3
Reminder: I Have A Discord!
Posted 4 years agoI don't know how many people know or remember, but I do have a sever!
There's spaces to chat, vent, share music, share art, promote your streams or commissions, and more!
So if you want to come and hang out, chat, share some art, feel free to check it out! Just please make sure that you follow the rules so that everyone has a good time~
https://discord.gg/CxubxqA
There's spaces to chat, vent, share music, share art, promote your streams or commissions, and more!
So if you want to come and hang out, chat, share some art, feel free to check it out! Just please make sure that you follow the rules so that everyone has a good time~
https://discord.gg/CxubxqA
Revamping My Commissions Soon!
Posted 4 years agoI'm sure a lot of you are aware of the recent change in Paypal fees. To help make up the difference I had planned on adjusting my prices but August was a busy month for me and now I've got a bad ear infection so I haven't gotten much in nthe way of that done.
But also, for a while I've considered reworking how I take commissions from the ground up so that I can better manage my time, get more art out in a timely manner, and NOT get totally swamped and overworked.
So it seemed best to just do both of these things at once! For the time being my commissions will be CLOSED while I work on making a new price sheet that will outline everything. I had hoped to have a new sheet ready to go this week but then my ear decided that I needed to be in intense pain for a while instead so I've gotten set back a bit.
But hopefully it'll be done by this weekend and then I can start easing into my new system which should end up benefitting everyone in the long run!
On one last note, I also plan to rework some things with my patreon but I'm still working out details for that. It should be easier to focus on that once I get this new commission system out. I really hope that this new commission system will help me free up some time to focus more on patreon rewards/exclusives because right now I unfortunately don't have much time to draw anything BUT commissions and the occasional adoptable when I need emergency funds. But I'll cross that bridge when I get to it. For now the focus is going to be on how I handle commissions so that I can better manage my time!
But also, for a while I've considered reworking how I take commissions from the ground up so that I can better manage my time, get more art out in a timely manner, and NOT get totally swamped and overworked.
So it seemed best to just do both of these things at once! For the time being my commissions will be CLOSED while I work on making a new price sheet that will outline everything. I had hoped to have a new sheet ready to go this week but then my ear decided that I needed to be in intense pain for a while instead so I've gotten set back a bit.
But hopefully it'll be done by this weekend and then I can start easing into my new system which should end up benefitting everyone in the long run!
On one last note, I also plan to rework some things with my patreon but I'm still working out details for that. It should be easier to focus on that once I get this new commission system out. I really hope that this new commission system will help me free up some time to focus more on patreon rewards/exclusives because right now I unfortunately don't have much time to draw anything BUT commissions and the occasional adoptable when I need emergency funds. But I'll cross that bridge when I get to it. For now the focus is going to be on how I handle commissions so that I can better manage my time!
Internet Update
Posted 4 years agoOkay so the internet is finally good enough that I can use it again which means I'm getting back to work.
I've already finished the Celestia YCH so I'm gonna sleep on it before sending it out so I can look at it with a fresh perspective and make any last minute tweaks that it may need then I can toss it up on subscribe star and patreon and post a teaser here.
So thank you for sticking with me through that and sorry the any inconvenience that may have caused!
I've already finished the Celestia YCH so I'm gonna sleep on it before sending it out so I can look at it with a fresh perspective and make any last minute tweaks that it may need then I can toss it up on subscribe star and patreon and post a teaser here.
So thank you for sticking with me through that and sorry the any inconvenience that may have caused!
Been Having Some Bad Internet Issues Lately...
Posted 4 years agoSo just a quick update (Which I hope will post because I've tried a few times but FUCK is my internet awful) about why there hasn't been much art lately.
So to start my boyfriend, Cass, and I had been house sitting for his parents for just over a month which kept me rather busy. He works 4 days a week for 11 hour shifts which meant I spent a good chunk of that time taking care of his parent's big house, all their plants, a dog, two cats, a fish tank, a koi pond, and five chickens. I was... very busy... So... fuckin' busy...
We got home a little over a week ago to discover that while we were gone our internet decided to basically kick the bucket! It's been so slow that it's basically unusable. Like, seriously, this is a speed test I did a few days ago and lemme tell you, it's just as bad now as it was then: https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachme.....90/unknown.png
In order to do ANYTHING online I have to use my phone data and I've been rationing that as much as possible so I don't eat through it all at once.
Now, you may be asking why I haven't tried messing with the router or called the ISP. Great question! I would love to but I can't!
We live in a share-house/granny flat that shares a property with another house. The other house is the "main" house where the router is located and since we don't technically live in that house or know anyone in there we can't really just walk in and start messing with stuff. I guess share houses aren't really meant to be a permanent living space so there's pretty much a revolving door of roommates for our house and people who live in the other house which makes it hard to really get to know people on a level deep enough to just walk into their living space uninvited.
SO in order to actually have anything done with the ISP we have to get in touch with our landlord and have him try to fix it or make the call for us because he's the account holder.
And NOW you may be asking why we don't just get an internet connection in this house since the router and everything is in the main house. And again I would love to but can't! Not only could we not afford the hook up costs, equipment, and monthly bill but we're also not allowed to do anything like that as per our lease. We just have to use whatever internet the landlord has set up no matter how much it sucks!
Now, we have reached out to him and let him know how awful it's been and he's said he'll call them "next week" so hopefully he actually does and this gets fixed so life can go back to normal.
I hate to admit that not having any kind of background noise makes it impossible for me to draw. I really need to be listening to music or a show otherwise my mind wanders and my mood crashes. Like, really bad.
I have VERY bad depression and while I have started medication for it there's still a lot of outside factors contributing to my low moods. And not having any kind of distraction or noise to focus on usually means my mind ends up drifting to those topics and I spiral until I'm in such a bad state that I can barely function and I want to die. It's a serious issue that I plan on getting professional help for when I can afford it but for the time being having some noise to drown it out is working.
Except for the fact that with the internet being as unusable as it is I can't really use netflix, youtube, or spotify while I'm drawing. So lately whenever I've tried I get about 10-15 minutes into a piece before being alone with my thoughts makes me feel like I'm on the verge of sobbing until I pass out.
Cass has advised me to take it easy until the internet gets fixed and been pushing for me to find other ways of distracting myself while we wait. He's been having me play a lot of games to keep my mind busy and we've even been organizing to join a D&D game a friend of our's is putting together.
I feel bad that I haven't gotten much done. What was supposed to be a quick week and a half of house sitting turned into over a month and now the internet issues combined with my own mental health struggles mean I haven't been able to get much done...
I think I'm going to finish off the commissions on my list and then close for a while while I revaluate my business and how I can still make money to pay the bills while working within the limits of what my mental health will allow, but I'll make a separate journal for that another day.
ANYWAY, it's almost 2am, I've been trying to post this journal for HOURS and I've even had to rewrite it a couple times so it probably reads like shit compared to the first draft but I'm tired, grumpy, and just really want to go bed and never wake up again.
TL;DR
Had to house sit and take care of a bunch of animals for over a month and had no free time
Came home and internet is basically unusable
Mental health is absolute shit and I can't work in silence with no distractions without my mood spiraling
I am so so sorry that I haven't posted much in a while and I hope I'm in a position to get my work done soon.
So to start my boyfriend, Cass, and I had been house sitting for his parents for just over a month which kept me rather busy. He works 4 days a week for 11 hour shifts which meant I spent a good chunk of that time taking care of his parent's big house, all their plants, a dog, two cats, a fish tank, a koi pond, and five chickens. I was... very busy... So... fuckin' busy...
We got home a little over a week ago to discover that while we were gone our internet decided to basically kick the bucket! It's been so slow that it's basically unusable. Like, seriously, this is a speed test I did a few days ago and lemme tell you, it's just as bad now as it was then: https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachme.....90/unknown.png
In order to do ANYTHING online I have to use my phone data and I've been rationing that as much as possible so I don't eat through it all at once.
Now, you may be asking why I haven't tried messing with the router or called the ISP. Great question! I would love to but I can't!
We live in a share-house/granny flat that shares a property with another house. The other house is the "main" house where the router is located and since we don't technically live in that house or know anyone in there we can't really just walk in and start messing with stuff. I guess share houses aren't really meant to be a permanent living space so there's pretty much a revolving door of roommates for our house and people who live in the other house which makes it hard to really get to know people on a level deep enough to just walk into their living space uninvited.
SO in order to actually have anything done with the ISP we have to get in touch with our landlord and have him try to fix it or make the call for us because he's the account holder.
And NOW you may be asking why we don't just get an internet connection in this house since the router and everything is in the main house. And again I would love to but can't! Not only could we not afford the hook up costs, equipment, and monthly bill but we're also not allowed to do anything like that as per our lease. We just have to use whatever internet the landlord has set up no matter how much it sucks!
Now, we have reached out to him and let him know how awful it's been and he's said he'll call them "next week" so hopefully he actually does and this gets fixed so life can go back to normal.
I hate to admit that not having any kind of background noise makes it impossible for me to draw. I really need to be listening to music or a show otherwise my mind wanders and my mood crashes. Like, really bad.
I have VERY bad depression and while I have started medication for it there's still a lot of outside factors contributing to my low moods. And not having any kind of distraction or noise to focus on usually means my mind ends up drifting to those topics and I spiral until I'm in such a bad state that I can barely function and I want to die. It's a serious issue that I plan on getting professional help for when I can afford it but for the time being having some noise to drown it out is working.
Except for the fact that with the internet being as unusable as it is I can't really use netflix, youtube, or spotify while I'm drawing. So lately whenever I've tried I get about 10-15 minutes into a piece before being alone with my thoughts makes me feel like I'm on the verge of sobbing until I pass out.
Cass has advised me to take it easy until the internet gets fixed and been pushing for me to find other ways of distracting myself while we wait. He's been having me play a lot of games to keep my mind busy and we've even been organizing to join a D&D game a friend of our's is putting together.
I feel bad that I haven't gotten much done. What was supposed to be a quick week and a half of house sitting turned into over a month and now the internet issues combined with my own mental health struggles mean I haven't been able to get much done...
I think I'm going to finish off the commissions on my list and then close for a while while I revaluate my business and how I can still make money to pay the bills while working within the limits of what my mental health will allow, but I'll make a separate journal for that another day.
ANYWAY, it's almost 2am, I've been trying to post this journal for HOURS and I've even had to rewrite it a couple times so it probably reads like shit compared to the first draft but I'm tired, grumpy, and just really want to go bed and never wake up again.
TL;DR
Had to house sit and take care of a bunch of animals for over a month and had no free time
Came home and internet is basically unusable
Mental health is absolute shit and I can't work in silence with no distractions without my mood spiraling
I am so so sorry that I haven't posted much in a while and I hope I'm in a position to get my work done soon.
Halfway to my GoFundMe Goal!!!
Posted 5 years agoHoly cow, I'm in disbelief... In just about two weeks I've already made it to halfway to my goal for a new computer!!
I've definitely shed a few tears over these last two weeks because of the kindness that friends and followers have shown me. Please know how much I love and appreciate all of you and that this truly means the world to me.
I'm also going to ask for your continued support! Halfway is an amazing milestone but there's still another half to go! So I'm asking to please share my GoFundMe around and spread the word and I'm going to keep doing what I can on my end in the form of adoptables to raise money!
Again, thank you so, so much for helping me get this far! Just a bit more and I can get back to working on art like normal and having a decent income again!!
GoFundMe Link
https://gf.me/u/yyhdup
https://gf.me/u/yyhdup
https://gf.me/u/yyhdup
I've definitely shed a few tears over these last two weeks because of the kindness that friends and followers have shown me. Please know how much I love and appreciate all of you and that this truly means the world to me.
I'm also going to ask for your continued support! Halfway is an amazing milestone but there's still another half to go! So I'm asking to please share my GoFundMe around and spread the word and I'm going to keep doing what I can on my end in the form of adoptables to raise money!
Again, thank you so, so much for helping me get this far! Just a bit more and I can get back to working on art like normal and having a decent income again!!
GoFundMe Link
https://gf.me/u/yyhdup
https://gf.me/u/yyhdup
https://gf.me/u/yyhdup
My Art Computer Died, Please Help Me Get A New One!
Posted 5 years agoTo make a long story short, my desktop computer has kicked the bucket so currently I'm unable to work on most of my commissions.
This means I've basically lost my income! Which is great cause I'm on a visa that doesn't allow me to work here and my boyfrend's hours are being severely impacted by the pandemic...
SO I've started a gofundme to help me get a new desktop so I can properly work again and have an income
https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-vic.....f+share-flow-1
While I do have a laptop that I can draw with, it's not strong enough to really handle large, fully illustrated, multiple character, images with backgrounds. I can do simple pieces on it but I won't be able to finish nearly all of my outstanding commissions unless I have access to a desktop again...
This means I can still do things like adoptables or take on simple black and white or colored sketches to help raise funds for a new computer on my end, but sadly I can't do much else for the time being.
I would really appreicate any help I can get! Share this around, donate if you can (Which I understand isn't going to be possible for most people with the state of the world, so please don't feel bad if you can't!), and please help me so that I'm not without an income for too long and so I can keep drawing for you guys!
This means I've basically lost my income! Which is great cause I'm on a visa that doesn't allow me to work here and my boyfrend's hours are being severely impacted by the pandemic...
SO I've started a gofundme to help me get a new desktop so I can properly work again and have an income
https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-vic.....f+share-flow-1
While I do have a laptop that I can draw with, it's not strong enough to really handle large, fully illustrated, multiple character, images with backgrounds. I can do simple pieces on it but I won't be able to finish nearly all of my outstanding commissions unless I have access to a desktop again...
This means I can still do things like adoptables or take on simple black and white or colored sketches to help raise funds for a new computer on my end, but sadly I can't do much else for the time being.
I would really appreicate any help I can get! Share this around, donate if you can (Which I understand isn't going to be possible for most people with the state of the world, so please don't feel bad if you can't!), and please help me so that I'm not without an income for too long and so I can keep drawing for you guys!
This Year Freakin' Sucks
Posted 5 years agoSo I think by now it's PAINFULLY obvious that I haven't been very good about uploading art to FA lately. I've been very slow to work and even worse and keeping any kind of upload schedule. This year has been absolute hell on my mental health for a number of reasons. My PTSD related breakdown from 5 months ago, the pandemic, the civil unrest back in the US, and immigration stuff have all been a tremendous source of stress, anxiety, and depression for me. The pandemic especially...
What little family I have left are all at very high risk. And every day I check the news and cases in my home state have gone up. It's madening not knowing if my family is going to be on the next list of new cases, if they already have it and that's why they aren't responding to my messages, if they're already gone, or if I'm panicking over nothing. I'm grateful that I currently live someplace that's done an amazing job of stopping the spread of the virus but it's little comfort when it comes to the safety of my family overseas.
Basically I've been a god damned MESS.
I'll also be honest about the fact that I honestly have trouble remembering what day it is and I'm really not aware of the passage of time. I'll see a message, think to answer it when I'm not busy, and next thing I know it's been two weeks. I'm getting stuck in my own head a lot and dissociating more and more lately so time is all a big blur as of late.
We're really hoping we can get me back on some meds once my boyfriend is working again but it'll still be a few weeks before we can afford that. He's doing his best to support me and help me where he can in the meantime tough and I'd honestly be much worse off without him here. I'm very grateful for him.
Really this is more of a vent journal than anything because I'm hoping maybe I can relate to others back in the US? The problems back in the states aren't really something I can talk about to anyone here outside of my boyfriend because it doesn't affect them and idk, maybe I'm just feeling a little lonely? He cares because it affects me but it would still be nice to connect with people who are affected in the same way I am, if that makes sense. I don't know...
I'm going to go eat lunch...
What little family I have left are all at very high risk. And every day I check the news and cases in my home state have gone up. It's madening not knowing if my family is going to be on the next list of new cases, if they already have it and that's why they aren't responding to my messages, if they're already gone, or if I'm panicking over nothing. I'm grateful that I currently live someplace that's done an amazing job of stopping the spread of the virus but it's little comfort when it comes to the safety of my family overseas.
Basically I've been a god damned MESS.
I'll also be honest about the fact that I honestly have trouble remembering what day it is and I'm really not aware of the passage of time. I'll see a message, think to answer it when I'm not busy, and next thing I know it's been two weeks. I'm getting stuck in my own head a lot and dissociating more and more lately so time is all a big blur as of late.
We're really hoping we can get me back on some meds once my boyfriend is working again but it'll still be a few weeks before we can afford that. He's doing his best to support me and help me where he can in the meantime tough and I'd honestly be much worse off without him here. I'm very grateful for him.
Really this is more of a vent journal than anything because I'm hoping maybe I can relate to others back in the US? The problems back in the states aren't really something I can talk about to anyone here outside of my boyfriend because it doesn't affect them and idk, maybe I'm just feeling a little lonely? He cares because it affects me but it would still be nice to connect with people who are affected in the same way I am, if that makes sense. I don't know...
I'm going to go eat lunch...
Life updates, health problems, and art
Posted 5 years agoI've been meaning to make this journal for a while now but stuff keeps coming up or I just can't bring myself to do it... But it needs to be done I suppose so the sooner I get it done the better.
I'm still struggling to find a job outside of art. As it turns out I have some pretty sever anxiety and PTSD because of my ex and that makes most work pretty difficult for me. I had a customer service job for all of about a month before a series of incidents set off my PTSD so bad that I was barely able to leave my bedroom, let alone the apartment, for weeks. I was having multiple panic attacks a day, couldn't sleep, couldn't eat, and I came very close to doing something rather drastic and permanent to myself just to make that all stop. I guess I just really can't handle men getting angry at me anymore... And working customer service at a gym meant a decent amount of men getting angry at me for problems that were out of my control. I'm doing what I can to find a non-customer service job but that's proving more difficult that I thought it would be...
On top of the issues my ex left me with I'm also struggling with the trauma of my cousin's recent suicide. Certain smells and scenes in shows can set off panic attacks and unfortunetly in a culture that's filled to the brim with guns and violence it's hard to avoid seeing fictional characters getting shot in the head. So that's also been making my life rather difficult lately.
And finally there's a possibility I may have PMDD. Which would explain why I go through cycles of feeling okay before my mood completely crashes and my mental health gets so bad I can barely function every onth when I get my period. I can't actually get officially diagnosed for a couple months because I need to monitor my mood and period for a couple cycles but that's something I'm working on figuring out too so I can hopefully get that treated if that is the case.
Thankfully through all of this I've had a pretty good support system at home. My boyfriend is doing everything he can to support me while we work these issues out. He goes out of his way to make sure I'm fed, hydrated, and distracted with fun things when my mood gets really low. He's even helped me get back on anti depressants a few weeks ago so hopefully I'll be seeing some positive changes soon! I'm trying to stay optimistic.
Now what this all means for my art.
I'm still drawing, albeit very slowly, but I am still working on art, commissions, and patreon content. I have more days than not where I'm just too drained and depressed to draw, let alone things like eat or drink, but on the days where I have the energy I try to get as much done as possible. Basically this just means that I've been very slow lately but I AM still doing my best to get work done! There are just some days where my mental health is so bad that I can't do much of anything other than lay in bed, have panic attacks, and cry but hopefully the anti adepressants start helping with that soon. I miss drawing all the time... I really don't like just sitting around not doing anything productive. Especially after working as hard as I was before I moved. I felt good about myself then but not so much now...
This journal isn't easy to write. I don't really like talking about my personal issues openly because honestly I'm ashamed. Everyone is always telling me how strong I am for living through all the things I have but it doesn't feel like it. How strong can I really be if it all affects me to the point where I can't function like an adult most days? It's embrassing struggling with these invisible illnesses while the people around you think you're just lacy, it's not that bad, you're being dramatic, you just need to try harder, etc all while it's taking every ounce of strength you have not to walk out the door and jump off the nearest bridge. But I've been putting off writing an explanation for why things have been so slow on my end for a long enough I really do owe an explanation of some kind. And leaving that as a vague "I've had some health problems recently" just doesn't seem like I'm quite doing justice to what's really going on with my health.
So thank you for being patient and understanding while I work through this. I promise I'm trying my best. And if you're upset or frustrated at the lack of art, I understand and don't blame you. I'm frustrated about it too. More than anyone else is actually.
And now that I've dumped a bunch of my personal buisness on the internet for everyone to see I'm going to end this and try to force myself to eat something. Boyfriend is out with friends and I'm getting the hunger shakes so I'm on self care duty today and he'll be really sad if I don't try to eat something before he gets home tonight. Maybe I'll try to get some art done after I eat too.
I'm still struggling to find a job outside of art. As it turns out I have some pretty sever anxiety and PTSD because of my ex and that makes most work pretty difficult for me. I had a customer service job for all of about a month before a series of incidents set off my PTSD so bad that I was barely able to leave my bedroom, let alone the apartment, for weeks. I was having multiple panic attacks a day, couldn't sleep, couldn't eat, and I came very close to doing something rather drastic and permanent to myself just to make that all stop. I guess I just really can't handle men getting angry at me anymore... And working customer service at a gym meant a decent amount of men getting angry at me for problems that were out of my control. I'm doing what I can to find a non-customer service job but that's proving more difficult that I thought it would be...
On top of the issues my ex left me with I'm also struggling with the trauma of my cousin's recent suicide. Certain smells and scenes in shows can set off panic attacks and unfortunetly in a culture that's filled to the brim with guns and violence it's hard to avoid seeing fictional characters getting shot in the head. So that's also been making my life rather difficult lately.
And finally there's a possibility I may have PMDD. Which would explain why I go through cycles of feeling okay before my mood completely crashes and my mental health gets so bad I can barely function every onth when I get my period. I can't actually get officially diagnosed for a couple months because I need to monitor my mood and period for a couple cycles but that's something I'm working on figuring out too so I can hopefully get that treated if that is the case.
Thankfully through all of this I've had a pretty good support system at home. My boyfriend is doing everything he can to support me while we work these issues out. He goes out of his way to make sure I'm fed, hydrated, and distracted with fun things when my mood gets really low. He's even helped me get back on anti depressants a few weeks ago so hopefully I'll be seeing some positive changes soon! I'm trying to stay optimistic.
Now what this all means for my art.
I'm still drawing, albeit very slowly, but I am still working on art, commissions, and patreon content. I have more days than not where I'm just too drained and depressed to draw, let alone things like eat or drink, but on the days where I have the energy I try to get as much done as possible. Basically this just means that I've been very slow lately but I AM still doing my best to get work done! There are just some days where my mental health is so bad that I can't do much of anything other than lay in bed, have panic attacks, and cry but hopefully the anti adepressants start helping with that soon. I miss drawing all the time... I really don't like just sitting around not doing anything productive. Especially after working as hard as I was before I moved. I felt good about myself then but not so much now...
This journal isn't easy to write. I don't really like talking about my personal issues openly because honestly I'm ashamed. Everyone is always telling me how strong I am for living through all the things I have but it doesn't feel like it. How strong can I really be if it all affects me to the point where I can't function like an adult most days? It's embrassing struggling with these invisible illnesses while the people around you think you're just lacy, it's not that bad, you're being dramatic, you just need to try harder, etc all while it's taking every ounce of strength you have not to walk out the door and jump off the nearest bridge. But I've been putting off writing an explanation for why things have been so slow on my end for a long enough I really do owe an explanation of some kind. And leaving that as a vague "I've had some health problems recently" just doesn't seem like I'm quite doing justice to what's really going on with my health.
So thank you for being patient and understanding while I work through this. I promise I'm trying my best. And if you're upset or frustrated at the lack of art, I understand and don't blame you. I'm frustrated about it too. More than anyone else is actually.
And now that I've dumped a bunch of my personal buisness on the internet for everyone to see I'm going to end this and try to force myself to eat something. Boyfriend is out with friends and I'm getting the hunger shakes so I'm on self care duty today and he'll be really sad if I don't try to eat something before he gets home tonight. Maybe I'll try to get some art done after I eat too.
Life Updates!!
Posted 6 years agoI just wanted to pop in for a bit to let everyone know I'm still alive and slowly but surely getting back into commission work!
I'm all moved and about as settled as I can be for the moment. Currently my desktop is set up at my boyfriend's place so I don't have 24/7 access to it like I used to but I do feel safer keeping it here as opposed to the hostel I'm staying at.
I also have pretty limited internet access. I'm basically using my phone data to post this right now but I only have so much to last me each month so I won't be super active online for a while.
I'm also going to be hard at work finding a job here soon because the money I saved won't last me for forever and I'd really like to continue to pay my bills, afford food, and keep a roof over my head so that'll be cutting into my commission time as well.
But I will be working on art whenever I'm at my boyfriend's place and he's out at uni or whatever! It'll just be a tad slow going while I get my stuff sorted out.
And, as always, if anyone would like to help contribute to the "Keep A Roof Over Daz's Head and Food In Her Belly" fund then you can always pledge to my patreon, buy something from my redbubble, or just toss something directly into my tip jar~ God knows I need it right now!
But now I'm going to close this out, stop using up my data, and try to chip away at some art before the day is over <3
I'm all moved and about as settled as I can be for the moment. Currently my desktop is set up at my boyfriend's place so I don't have 24/7 access to it like I used to but I do feel safer keeping it here as opposed to the hostel I'm staying at.
I also have pretty limited internet access. I'm basically using my phone data to post this right now but I only have so much to last me each month so I won't be super active online for a while.
I'm also going to be hard at work finding a job here soon because the money I saved won't last me for forever and I'd really like to continue to pay my bills, afford food, and keep a roof over my head so that'll be cutting into my commission time as well.
But I will be working on art whenever I'm at my boyfriend's place and he's out at uni or whatever! It'll just be a tad slow going while I get my stuff sorted out.
And, as always, if anyone would like to help contribute to the "Keep A Roof Over Daz's Head and Food In Her Belly" fund then you can always pledge to my patreon, buy something from my redbubble, or just toss something directly into my tip jar~ God knows I need it right now!
But now I'm going to close this out, stop using up my data, and try to chip away at some art before the day is over <3
Would Anyone Be Interested In Illustrated Q&As With My OCs?
Posted 6 years agoObviously if I did this I'd have to adjust my patreon goals since one of my goals is an adult ask blog.
But I've been considering offering a new perk on patreon where you can ask my OCs questions and get drawn responses that'll be posted publicly at the end of the month. Questions could be SFW or NSFW and I think it would be a neat way to show off more of my character's personality instead of just their tits. Answers would probably be flat colored to make sure I could get through at least a few each month.
It would obviously have to wait until after I move, get settled, and work through some commission backlog, but it's still something that I think may be fun in the future! But I'd like to gauge interest before I start planning on revamping my patreon around this.
So please let me know what you think!
But I've been considering offering a new perk on patreon where you can ask my OCs questions and get drawn responses that'll be posted publicly at the end of the month. Questions could be SFW or NSFW and I think it would be a neat way to show off more of my character's personality instead of just their tits. Answers would probably be flat colored to make sure I could get through at least a few each month.
It would obviously have to wait until after I move, get settled, and work through some commission backlog, but it's still something that I think may be fun in the future! But I'd like to gauge interest before I start planning on revamping my patreon around this.
So please let me know what you think!
IT'S OFFICIAL! I'M MOVING ON JULY 8TH!!!
Posted 6 years agoMy visa was approved and my plane ticket has been booked!! I'm moving to Australia on July 8th! Exactly 6 weeks from today!!
I'm going to do my best to blast through some commissions in between work, packing, and the other half dozen things I have to get done before I go. But hopefully I can finish at least a few of the big ones before I have to pack up my PC and tablet.
I may not be able to work on art for a few weeks after I get there because I'll be pretty busy with getting settled and starting the job hunt but I will try to get things set up as soon as possible so I can get back to commissions!
The major commissions I hope to finish before I go are:
A 5 character Orgy featuring a bunch of birds, a shark, and a big dragon lady
The Vern/ Gillian comic
And the Vern YCH
These are probably the bigger ones I have and the ones that are the most difficult so I'm REALLY hoping I can finish these and maybe a couple extra before I leave! Please send good work-vibes my way!!
And wish me luck!! I'm super excited and terrified!! AAAAAAA!!
Shinies!!
Posted 6 years agoI've enabled my shinies for anyone who feels like tossing me a tip that way!
I Have A NSFW Twitter Now
Posted 6 years agoTrying to branch out a bit more since FA seems to be kinda... dead lately.
https://twitter.com/DazadoopArt
https://twitter.com/DazadoopArt
https://twitter.com/DazadoopArt
I'll be posting my nsfw art over here
https://twitter.com/DazadoopArt
https://twitter.com/DazadoopArt
https://twitter.com/DazadoopArt
I'll be posting my nsfw art over here
Life Updates
Posted 6 years agoSo I hadn't planned on being off radar for more than a few days but the last week has gone from bad to worse and I can't seem to go more than two days without getting some kind of horrible news. The latest being a bill I have to pay that's like $340 which is going to have to come out of my savings since I've got like $10 in my checking and won't be getting paid till Friday So that's a great hit to my attempts at making it to $4200 in May so I would have enough to apply for my visa so I could get there in time for my boyfriend's birthday...
I'm quickly losing everything I've worked so fucking hard for and everything I looked forward to in the coming months is falling apart around me
I just wanted to be there for his birthday. I just wanted to see the show he'd be putting so much work into. I just wanted to not feel so alone and to have a chance at finding some happiness for myself for the first time in my 28 miserable years on this earth. And I wasn't able to. I failed, like always
With everything that's happened in the last week I would honestly give everything I own to just be there and be able to actually get some physical comfort and not feel so alone. But I've already tried selling my things and no one is buying them so apparently that's not even an option
I'm just not meant to be happy I guess
Because every time I start getting close it's taken away from me and I'm left with nothing
Happy fucking birthday to me I guess
I'm quickly losing everything I've worked so fucking hard for and everything I looked forward to in the coming months is falling apart around me
I just wanted to be there for his birthday. I just wanted to see the show he'd be putting so much work into. I just wanted to not feel so alone and to have a chance at finding some happiness for myself for the first time in my 28 miserable years on this earth. And I wasn't able to. I failed, like always
With everything that's happened in the last week I would honestly give everything I own to just be there and be able to actually get some physical comfort and not feel so alone. But I've already tried selling my things and no one is buying them so apparently that's not even an option
I'm just not meant to be happy I guess
Because every time I start getting close it's taken away from me and I'm left with nothing
Happy fucking birthday to me I guess
Death in the family - slight delay on commissions
Posted 6 years agoLast night there was a rather sudden and unexpected death in the family and because of that there might be a slight delay on commissions. Normally I cope with this sort of thing by throwing myself into work but I also don't know what the next few days, weeks, or even months will bring so I just wanted to give you all a heads up.
I know there's been a lot of delays lately and I apologize.
I'm also not going to be active online much so if you send me a message or email and it takes me a while to respond I apologize for that too.
Also if any of you a struggling with suicidal thoughts, please, reach out and talk to someone, call a hotline, a family member, a friend, anything. Know that there is help out there.
And please take a moment to tell the people in your life that you love them. Check up on them and make sure they're doing good.
I know there's been a lot of delays lately and I apologize.
I'm also not going to be active online much so if you send me a message or email and it takes me a while to respond I apologize for that too.
Also if any of you a struggling with suicidal thoughts, please, reach out and talk to someone, call a hotline, a family member, a friend, anything. Know that there is help out there.
And please take a moment to tell the people in your life that you love them. Check up on them and make sure they're doing good.
So... My birthday is coming up and I have a request
Posted 6 years agoMy birthday is on May 2nd. And I'm sure some people will see this in bad taste but I'd like to ask for something.
I'm still about $1300 short of being able to meet the financial qualifications for my visa. And I have to apply by sometime in May if I want to move in time for my boyfriend's birthday in late August.
I'm still putting away as much of my paychecks as I can as well as everything I get from art and patreon. But it doesn't look like I'll be meeting that goal in time which means there's a very real chance I'll miss his birthday... Again. As well as the show his uni is putting on that he'll be writing and designing all the music and sound for,
It's killing me to miss all these special days and milestones. I'm not going to even begin to pretend that I'm emotionally strong enough to keep missing things like this. I hate being too far away to actually enjoy things like this together. Even just the thought of only getting a couple messages from him on his birthday cause he'll be too busy with friends and family to call hurts more than I can put into worlds (And I certainly wouldn't want him to cancel with his friends and family just for me either. Apparently your 21st birthday is still a big deal in Aus and they've been talking about their plans for his for the better part of a year now. I'd never want to take that from him)
So now we're onto my request, or birthday wish. If anyone had any inclination to get me a present or to do something for my birthday all I ask is that you help me reach that goal so I can apply for my visa sometime this month and get there in time so I don't miss anymore special days with the person I love most in the world.
I should be able to put away about $380 from my paychecks. Maybe more if I can swing some extra hours during the break from school. Patreon gives me another $50, roughly. But that still leaves me about $870 short of being able to apply in May.
I know FA isn't as active as it used to be and that a lot of people probably aren't even going to see this let alone read this far. But I'm begging you guys here, if you feel like doing something for my birthday please consider just tossing some money my way. That gift would mean more to me than anything else in the world because I'd be one step closer to being somewhere where I feel like I can finally be happy, with the person I love most.
My paypal is: itsuko103[at]gmail.com
There's also my patreon and redbubble if you'd prefer to also get something in return"
https://www.patreon.com/Daz
https://www.redbubble.com/people/Dazadoop?asc=u
And if you can't or don't want to help out I completely understand.
I'm still about $1300 short of being able to meet the financial qualifications for my visa. And I have to apply by sometime in May if I want to move in time for my boyfriend's birthday in late August.
I'm still putting away as much of my paychecks as I can as well as everything I get from art and patreon. But it doesn't look like I'll be meeting that goal in time which means there's a very real chance I'll miss his birthday... Again. As well as the show his uni is putting on that he'll be writing and designing all the music and sound for,
It's killing me to miss all these special days and milestones. I'm not going to even begin to pretend that I'm emotionally strong enough to keep missing things like this. I hate being too far away to actually enjoy things like this together. Even just the thought of only getting a couple messages from him on his birthday cause he'll be too busy with friends and family to call hurts more than I can put into worlds (And I certainly wouldn't want him to cancel with his friends and family just for me either. Apparently your 21st birthday is still a big deal in Aus and they've been talking about their plans for his for the better part of a year now. I'd never want to take that from him)
So now we're onto my request, or birthday wish. If anyone had any inclination to get me a present or to do something for my birthday all I ask is that you help me reach that goal so I can apply for my visa sometime this month and get there in time so I don't miss anymore special days with the person I love most in the world.
I should be able to put away about $380 from my paychecks. Maybe more if I can swing some extra hours during the break from school. Patreon gives me another $50, roughly. But that still leaves me about $870 short of being able to apply in May.
I know FA isn't as active as it used to be and that a lot of people probably aren't even going to see this let alone read this far. But I'm begging you guys here, if you feel like doing something for my birthday please consider just tossing some money my way. That gift would mean more to me than anything else in the world because I'd be one step closer to being somewhere where I feel like I can finally be happy, with the person I love most.
My paypal is: itsuko103[at]gmail.com
There's also my patreon and redbubble if you'd prefer to also get something in return"
https://www.patreon.com/Daz
https://www.redbubble.com/people/Dazadoop?asc=u
And if you can't or don't want to help out I completely understand.
Looking into getting a rigged 3d model of Vern
Posted 6 years agoSo as the title says I've been open to the idea of maybe someday getting a rigged model of Veronica so I could make adult animations with her
Problem is I have no idea where to start or how much it would even cost!
So does anyone have any modelers they could point me in the direction of? Or your own work to show off if you do modeling and rigging?or maybe get me a rigged model cause that would be great too
Problem is I have no idea where to start or how much it would even cost!
So does anyone have any modelers they could point me in the direction of? Or your own work to show off if you do modeling and rigging?
Patreon Changes - Full Resolution Files
Posted 6 years agoGoing forward from now on I will only be posting the full resolution versions of my art to patreon!
Don't fret though, all of my art will still be posted here a month after patreon! You'll just have to go over there if you want the high resolution images.
I'm sure there are some people who aren't going to be happy with me about this but hey, at least the vast majority of my content is still public and I think that counts for something.
Don't fret though, all of my art will still be posted here a month after patreon! You'll just have to go over there if you want the high resolution images.
I'm sure there are some people who aren't going to be happy with me about this but hey, at least the vast majority of my content is still public and I think that counts for something.
Another small delay on art
Posted 6 years agoSo, I get bad seasonal depression this time of year. Like REALLY bad.
Last weekend it kind of reached a peak and I was in a VERY bad place, which I'm sure a lot of you can guess what that means. I'm okay now and working on picking my mood back up but I wasn't able to work on much art at all this past week due to my horrid mental state.
So again, I apologize for any and all delays this has caused. I'm trying...
Selling A Princess Mononoke Figure For Moving Funds!
Posted 6 years agoWhile I was cleaning out my storage shed the other day I came across a rare Princess Mononoke figure and since I don't really have any sentimental attachment to it I figured it was best to sell it so I could put the money towards something that WILL have meaning to me, and so that it finds a good home. Cause it is a cool looking figure and it would look much better on someone's shelf as opposed to sitting in a box in storage collecting dust lol
The figure is about 7.5 inches tall featuring Ashitaka and Yakul. It's out of box but otherwise in perfect condition!
https://www.ebay.com/itm/143169536970
Also feel free to spread this around to any Princess Mononoke/Ghibli fans you know that may be interested in this sort of thing!
(And obviously, everything I make from this, minus costs for packaging and shipping, go towards moving to my boyfriend!!)
The figure is about 7.5 inches tall featuring Ashitaka and Yakul. It's out of box but otherwise in perfect condition!
https://www.ebay.com/itm/143169536970
Also feel free to spread this around to any Princess Mononoke/Ghibli fans you know that may be interested in this sort of thing!
(And obviously, everything I make from this, minus costs for packaging and shipping, go towards moving to my boyfriend!!)
Been VERY Busy And Having A Hard Time Keeping Up w/ Messages
Posted 6 years agoSo midterms are here and that means I'm busy af with school stuff so if you've sent me a message or email and I haven't responded yet, it's just because I'm swamped and haven't gotten around to responding yet. I promise I'm not ignoring anyone and I will get around to responding to everything when I can!! But I gotta put school stuff first for the time being so I don't bomb my midterms and by extension lose my job because my gpa fell. The downside of my job being a part of my financial aid is that I HAVE to maintain a certain number of credit hours and hold a certain gpa or I get fired... And since most of what I've saved for moving so far is BECAUSE of that job I'd like to keep it lol
So for now, I gotta put school first but I WILL get around to answering all those emails/notes/messages when I'm able to!
So for now, I gotta put school first but I WILL get around to answering all those emails/notes/messages when I'm able to!
