So Im starting my new job and its really fun to actually be part of a group thats actually helping build the place.

But I WILL be going to MFF, Midwest Furfest.

I booked a double bed room at the main hotel a few days ago.

I want to see who is going and wants to room with me. I have 2 bed spots open and I'll take one floor person. THAT IS IT. I dont want more than 5 people actually sleeping in the room. I plan to have Itsu back by MFF and to bring a Smile partial so I dont want to overstuff the room too much.

Its for Friday to Monday.

Price depends on the number of people.

Lemme know if you wanna join us~

I'm going to take some advice and will be taking a break from everything for a while.

I went to the beach at like.. midnight last night and stayed there for about an hour and it was really relaxing to just sit there.

I'll get on every once and a while to see how people are and stuff but that's about it.

I also might still post art every so often. Some people deserve from gift art for all they've done. Especially Rhia who's been my lifesaver really by getting me to smile and laugh about other things.

but if you want to get ahold of me, AIM or text if you have my number. Although I wont be able to answer them much, I will try.

and I will be on Xbox Live more as killing zombies is rather stress relieving too lol my ID thing on there is KaiMutt and feel free to add it and chat with me if I'm on. Or even play L4d with me <3 I love having gaming partners..

You might see me at MFF, you might not.


Bye FA for now~

<3

I'm sorry.

I've been a failure of a friend to many people lately.

I'm loosing my family in drama.
I'm probably loosing my apartment due to my mom not havinga job.
I might be loosing one of my jobs.
I'm loosing my health to my stress.
I'm lossing my few belongings I have it seems.
I'm loosing myself.. No, I have lost me.

And in the mix of things I've lost Hy / Kitstaa.

I know many of you I've become friends with through him and if you all want to hate me because we are no longer together, fine.. I hope that wouldnt be the case and I really hope to stay friends with a lot of you. I hoped to still remain friends with Hy although at this point I guess I'm not suprised if he hates me.


Recently we've both been down and it changed us both. Some things were said, some feelings were hurt, and I did the defensive things and backed off and built up a wall as I have done before in the past with online relationships.

I've fucked up and I'm admiting it. I have problems when it comes to relationships and I should have done what I thought/said and waited until life was settled to go into that relationship. Because stress does this to me.

Life went from so amazing to so shitty so fast


I hope eventually people can see that I never meant to hurt him. I wanted to fix things but I cant see a way to right now. I wanted us to stay together forever.. I wish things could go back to how they were.. I wish WE could go back to how we were. I wish I could stop crying.. I feel so.. horrible.



I promise to stop posting useless journals..

Sorry..

Due to all my financial problems right now, Itsu will be going to FL to be temporarily owned by  phanda and then off to the UK when she moves.

I say temporarily because this girl is being so kind as to give me $900 and is willing to sell her back for $550.

I met her at MegaCon this year and it was awesome to chat with her and her friends. After hearing whats going on I can't believe there are people as nice as she is to do something for a person she's talked to online and met at a convention.

She sent me $340 today and will be sending me the rest another time when she gets paid for some fursuit stuff shes making. I'm just.. so overwhelmed with happiness towards this girl.

Draw her stuff, commission her, just thank her..

She's really saved my ass..

She will have some fan art from me going her way, that is for sure.

Thank you SO much  phanda
Thank you ;w;

So I found out today that my student loans had been split into FIVE payments, unlike the original two that I had been told and knew about. Well I got a bunch of mail from my old house today and found a bunch of bills and notices from the different companies..

I just paid off the $313 and $138 for my known of loans and thought, cool I have just enough for gas and to buy a new tablet pen which is 30$ and leaving 40$ for gas and a few bucks to pay my mom back for paying my health insurance.

Then I got the mail. I owe a combined $500 from past payments I didnt know about and late fees. I paid 50$ of one and I need to deposit my remaining cash to see if I can pay anything on the other before they really kill my credit.

So I'm thinking I just might have to do something I really hate to think about.. And that is sell my Itsu Fursuit. :/


If I sold her than I would be able to have more than enough to pay off the past and current payments of the loan and not be too badly nailed on my credit for being so late.. And I would have a bit of a head start for next month. My total monthly expenses are now about $800 and I dont start my second job for a while.

I also have a bunch of dvd's I can sell.

For LOCAL people I have a yard of JoAnn 4" foam with only one small foot cut out and over a yard of JoAnn 2" foam. probably a yard of walmart 1" foam. I'd be willing to sell these cheap D; JoAnn foam is expensive.

I also have 2 yards of excellent quality caramel fur. Its very soft and a beautiful color.

I dont have the time now nor am I healthy enough to have the drive to finish Virgil right now. He will have to wait a long while before I can even think about finishing him.

If anyone is interested or thinks that it'd be a good thing to sell Itsu then let me know.. I think it will be good.. sad but good to sell her. But.. I dont know ;;

I really do and I'm sorry to my watchers for such frequent journals lol but I do want some honest advice.


Here's the thing.. And I know he's going to read this and go "why the fuck are you asking advice from furries."

but my relationship has been a little.. rocky recently I guess and I need some help.

I need serious advice from hopefully a few different people, either you know me well or don't.

I'd rather talk to people via AIM or notes ;;

So I got a call today for a sudden interview with this burger place..

Went to said interview... Learned that they were opening a restaurant in the same freakin plaza as my other job xD

Got hired on the spot as a Shift Manager

He's been doing interviews for a week I guess and I'm the first person he's hired.

IM HAPPY THOUGH. NEW JOB. BETTER JOB. Not really better pay BUT BETTER JOB.

Thanks to everyone that gave advice for the medical stuff. My mom is friends with a nurse practitioner who said she'd give me a look over. My mom has some health background too though and she thinks what I think.

A) I might have something wrong with my appendix or another organ..
B) Just might be too stressed (which would cause A or C anyways)
C) Have Crohn's Disease like my uncle lol

So if I still dont feel better by the weekend Im going to see her D;

But things are looking better.. Lets hope everything goes well with the burger place!

Cause I have a question..

I have like the lowest health insurance I can get cause.. Well I cant afford the health insurance and never before have I had to use it except for my back stuff and oh well on my back now.

But it doesn't really cover ANYTHING unless I got in a tragic car accident or something.

But I need to go to a doctor D; And I don't know what to really do. I haven't been to a doctor since I was like.. 8. So I haven't had shots or anything and recently I've been feeling not sp well.

Not well at all and I know stress may be part of it but this is a health thing too. I'm almost positive I have the same disease my uncle has and it would explain my sickness, my tiredness, everything. All the usual symptoms lines up to exactly how I feel. D; Of course it'll suck cause there's no real cure and only a certain diet can really calm it into a remission state.. but I need to know if it is what I think it is.. and only a doctor could really tell me that.

D; anyone?

I got sent home early from work. Lots of people scheduled so yeah D; I got forced to go to my aunt's with my mom..

But I wanted to let people know that stuff hasn't exactly been going real great still. Life is still going on a downward path right now and it'll be a while before Virgil will be finished.

I talked to my dad today and I totally broke down and just cried in my car for a long time. Everythings gotten me so depressed and aggravated. He's going to look into what would be cheaper, me flying to FL with my cat and having my car just transported with what I can fit in there or getting the uhaul truck and draggin my car behind it so I dont put 3000 more miles on it and risk it breaking down or something with me having no money.

If stuff doesn't get better though I will be leaving in a month to two months even if I don't have any money saved up. My dad will get me there and I'll just figure something out once I get there.. I'm going to talk to my friend Lizzy and tell her that there's a good chance she may have to house this homeless yenathing + my cat + my retarded ferret for a while.. D;


I just can't stand shit right now.. ;w;

So I'm new to California.. I knew that earthquakes could be bad but I grew up in FL and NC.. We never learned about some of California's history and all that..

And Im a big history nut and after hearing about this one earthquake I'm really shocked as to why I never really heard anything about this in school D8

This earthquake in 1989 is a holy crap earthquake. To see all the damage and deaths from that is.. crazy. The top section of the bridge falling, the whole upper deck of another road totally collapsing. Its crazy.

If you have 45 minutes to spare.. watch this dude: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AhG4-gXrnVM&feature=fvw

Daaamn

/rant

People in this area make me sick. I'm an observer. I watch and listen to the people around me. And people here make me want to vomit.

And that includes my own mom.

People here don't appriciate anything. Not money, not life, nothing. The worst/craziest drivers I've seen are usually extremely large gas guzzlers with a BABY ON BOARD sticker or those family stickers on the back end. The people that work their asses off get paid nothing while the bimbos that do nothing but answer a phone all day get paid twice, three times as much. And what do they do? They bitch and complain that they arent getting enough money while the poor waitress working two jobs to just feed her child and pay for rent in a one bedroom apartment doesn't complain one bit.

People go to the restaurant I work at to either flash their money or put on an act that they have money when they don't. What happens when they don't have the money? They bitch and complain to get a free meal. This happeneds at least once a week when I hear of a server getting bitched out because some old snotbag thinks the food is crap and demands to be given something. Of course the manager comes out, hands over a ONE HUNDRED dollar gift certificate to the restaurant AND offered a different meal for no charge. Was the food crap? Of course not, but this lady doesn't care. She just wants free shit.

And the poor men.. Each time an even like that happens, there are always a few guys trying to bury their faces into the ground because the women here are completely ridiculous. The women here usually do not work, do not do chores, do not pay for any bills. All they do is go out, go to the over abundance of starbucks, and sit on their asses all day in their million dollar homes. Yet what do the men do? They work all day only to get bitched and complained to 24/7. And women sit around with a dumb look on their face going "OH GOLLY JEEZ WHY HAS MY HUSBAND CHEATED AND RUN OFF WITH ANOTHER WOMEN?!" Because he can't handle your whiney ass.

Now see.. My mother was fairly normaly before she was fired from her job in NC. She talked like a logical human being, we'd go out to the movies every so often, we'd chat here and there.. but holy crap I have seen her turn into a California nightmare. All she does all day is complain and BAW how she doesnt have a job and makes me do simple shit that if she'd get off her ass, would be easily taken care of.

For example, recently she's taken up making me do shit that she's RIGHT NEXT TO. Example: My rather gasy Boxer farted as my mom was sitting on the sofa on her laptop. What does she do? I'm trying to take a nap before work and she SCREAMS for me to open the sliding glass door. Which is a mere FOOT from her body. Meaning she could have even reached her hand over and opened the door herself.

Whining has become her favorite past time.

And she claims that "oh yeah I'll bag groceries if I have to in order to get a job." Yeah well she's been offered two really nice jobs so far out of over a hundred resumes sent out..

1. A Medical assistant getting paid 14$ an hour for the first two months, and probably 16$ an hour after that. This job was so incredibly easy and was only maybe 20 minutes away.

And the job today

2. An office manager for an orthadonics clinic for 17$ doing an easy job and the guy was willing to go up a dollar or two but had to talk to the RN.

......she worked the first one for less than a week then quit. And she just flat out denied the guy from todays job.

I've had it..

And to top it all off, I've been looking for another part time job and I looked on Craigslist today.. yeah well theres a position open for MY station at the restaurant I'm working at. In other words, I work my ass off making only 9$ an hour but they are probably trying to see if they can hire someone for even cheaper and fire my ass cause thats what happened to the last guy that was working my station. They put up a craigslist ad, called me in, hired me at 9$ while he was at 10$, fired him, kept me.

I fucking hate living here. People are disgusting.

Making a little journal before I crash.

I know a lot of people were expecting some pictures of Virgil by now. WELL... Due to some health issues I havent had any energy to do much on her xD; I've got the head mostly fured, one foot foamed out and glued on, both legs cut out, most the upper body cut out although I think I didnt do a good job and idk what to do on that lol. I might try to foam the other foot tomorrow if I can.. D8 I just have ZERO energy and its probably because the foods I've been eating havent been the best.. but what can ya do huh lol

I need to go to the bank tomorrow and get a replacement card since my debit card vanished from my shoe in my car lol and then I'll go to JoAnn and get some elastic to start the foam work for another head<3

Hope everyone is well and that all you guys that went had a great AC, sad I couldnt make it.

And it looks like I wont be going to RMFC either since Todd doesnt think he can go.. so it'd blow for him not to be there too although I really want to see my friend Jill from FL whom I havent seen in a while and will be in CO around that time ;; uuuugh damnit.

Night all~

For all my peeps going to Anthrocon, HAVE FUN! :D I'll try to go next year. Its crazy how dead this site becomes during AC lol I WILL MISS YOU ALL. NO ONE DIE OK?!


I will be actually reserving a room for MFF either today or tomorrow. I know I'm rooming with but idk who else.
Any takers?


And this weekend I might just have Virgil completed and MIGHT try to take her to RMFC. Maybe. It'd be hard taking two suits if I took Itsu too xD; At least Virgil will be partial-able I think. And I will get started on a commission head probably.. or Smile or Rico.. But I should start the commission first huh :C

So I ordered the fur for Virgil. Was a little worried about ordering the cream one I saw on a site since I had ordered the swatch but it hadn't come in yet.. But I ordered it anyways in hopes that it'd be here by friday for me to go over to 's place to keep working..

Well I got the swatch last night and its caramel colored xD; I already ordered TWO YARDS of it.. now I don't know what I should do with it. I can use it for a Vash partial but even he doesnt have a lot of brown enough to cover two yards.

What should I do with it guys? xD

I was thinking a premade partial? trying to sell it after its done.. idk im too new to this suit making business.

I did start working on the website again thoug. I'm going to stick to R n' R Studios as my little stuff making business name since my friend Lizzy will be working with me most likely when I move down to FL to live with her xD; And I like not having a gay FUR pun as a name LOL As I make more stuff I'll be posting only one-two pictures of the finished projects here then more photos on the site most likely.

Im kinda wondering about pricing also.

But I've got some base things there. I dont know if anyone watching my account would really be interested but the site is here: https://www.rnrstudios.webs.com And I'm open to "pay for supplies" commissions though Im sure people wont till I have a few examples xD;


for now... im going back to rest cause I don't feel real great D; Might just be a big allergy attack.

http://www.ustream.tv/channel/uhighlander/v3


YEEEYUH

Im working on a roo head, Sways is workin on a dragon thing

GIRLY MEME!

[ ] You own over 10 bottles of nail polish
[ ] You own a designer purse
[ ] You own perfume that cost over $60
[ ] You had/have fake nails
[ ] You have more hair products and body products than you can use
[ ] Your pet is a Chihuahua/Pomeranian/Yorkshire Terrier(mix)/Siamese/Shih Tzu/mini anything
[ ] You have clothes/shoes/accessories for your pet
[ ] You have enough clothes to cover an entire refugee camp
[ ] You have enough pictures to create your own wallpaper
[ ] A pink comforter, carpeting, walls or sheets
Total So Far: 0

Do you:
[ ] Spend more time at the mall than you do at homework
[ ] Have had a hair color that is not natural
[ ] Have "blonde moments" at least once a day
[ ] Buy stuff because it's awesome and then never wear/use it
[x] Constantly keep your phone at your side (Sometimes LOL)
[x] Dance around in your room when nobody else is home
[ ] Have a name for your car
[ ] Know what celebrity is dating who and who broke up this week
[ ] Refuse to go out in public without makeup
[ ] Prefer to be called "princess"
Total So Far: 2

Do you love:
[ ] Makeup
[ ] Glitter
[ ] The color Pink
[ ] Jewelry
[ ] Mirrors
[ ] Chick flicks
[ ] Shoes
[x] Rainbows ( C; )
[ ] Unicorns
[x] Disney Movies
[ ] Flowers
[x] Stuffed Animals
[ ] Purses
Total So Far: 5

Do you shop at:
[ ] Coach
[ ] Forever 21
[ ] Victoria's Secret
[ ] Guess
[ ] Claire's
[ ] Express
[ ] Delia's
[ ] Hollister
[ ] American Eagle
[ ] Abercrombie Fitch
[ ] Aeropostale
Total So Far: 5

Do you say:
[ ] Whatever
[ ] Oh my god
[ ] Hun
[ ] Fugly
[ ] That's hot
[ ] Dunzo
[ ] Darling
[ ] Bff
[ ] Cutie
[ ] Hottie
[x] Skank
[x] Totally
[ ] For Sure
[ ] Fabulous (Unless acting REALLY gay)
Total So Far: 7

Do you read:
[ ] Cosmopolitan
[ ] Glamour
[ ] Marie Claire
[ ] Elle Girl
[ ] Teen Vogue
[ ] People
[ ] Us Weekly
[ ] Star
[ ] Self
[ ] PerezHilton.com
[ ] Dlisted.com
[ ] Seventeen
[ ] people.com
[ ] usmagazine.com
[ ] popsugar.com
[ ] Pink Is The New Blog.com
Total So Far: 7

Do you love these: (I dont even know most of these D8 )
[ ] Legally Blonde
[ ] Elizabethtown
[ ] Mean Girls
[ ] Now & Then
[ ] The Notebook
[ ] A Walk to Remember
[ ] Sweet Home Alabama
[ ] Where the Heart is
[ ] Just My luck
[ ] John Tucker Must Die
[ ] Center stage
[ ] Bring it On
[ ] How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
[ ] Mona Lisa Smile
[ ] My Girl
[ ] The Wedding Date
[ ] 10 Things I Hate About You
Total So Far: 7

Do you really enjoy:
[ ] America's Next Top Model
[ ] Project Runway
[ ] Desperate Housewives
[ ] The Simple Life
[ ] 8th & Ocean
[ ] Sex & the City
[ ] Grey's Anatomy
[ ] The O.C.
[ ] The City
[ ] Nip/Tuck
[ ] Gilmore Girls
[ ] Degrassi

Total: 7

Take your total and multiply it by 2. Then repost this as "I am #% Girly." With the number you got as the percent of course.



.......I told you all I'm secretly a man C:

That a certain person I know of has tried speaking bad of me.


So here is a public announcement about this cheetah/hyenathing..

I WILL stay out of any drama that comes my way.

I WILL NOT get involved with drama between two other people that has nothing to do with me.

I will more likely lol at said drama and keep going through my day. It's none of my business guys srsly.

I would even stay out of drama if it did involved me.

The only way I would get involved in drama is if it was people being ignorant and rude to a VERYVERY close friend of mine. There's only about 9 people on that list of the hundreds I know.



plain and simple

I HATE DRAMA

What's so wrong with that?

I can be the nicest person you've ever met
OR
I can be a complete and total bitch if you backstab me.

You choose which side of me you want to know by the actions you take.

I have friends everywhere and they will be listening and telling me.

If anyone tries to say anything bad about me and you hear it.. It'd like to know C:

So I had a nice long chat with my best friend from Orlando and another nice long chat with my father.

As of right now, I think I will be moving back to Orlando/Clermont.

I'm going to be stubborn and try to stick it out here in CA as long as I can since I'm not a quiter but around April, right now, FL looks like my only option. If I stayed here, I'd just be sucked into more of the debt and CA life. I wanted to move to IL but the funds will not be there for me to do so. If I move to FL, at least I can have a little help and I will have the support of my friends there. And I do want to be around for my baby sister/brother.

And after a bit, I can move with my best friend to Gainsville while she goes to college. But hey, that means that friends from out of state can some visit anytime <3

Thank goodness for Lizzy. She will always be a bit of sanity for me<3

California is just not for this shapeshifter :c I can never imagine trying to start a life here unless you weren't already rich. I don't like living life wondering if we can make rent. I just don't. I like stability. West coast is fun for vacation, but not for living for me at least. I lived in Orlando must my life and people think, oh a cities a city. Hell no. Orlando is totally different from SD dude lol.

But yeah. I feel a bit better. Money will still be tight but soon it should get slowly better. I've stopped buying little things here and there like I used to. Stopped buying food we didn't really NEED. Stopped looking at commission slots xD I'm going to work on my own commission things and maybe open for some ear commissions super cheap or something <3

yeah. life will get better C:

So I talked to my dad today, which recently hasn't been too bad.. He used to live in San Diego and he knows how it feels to work so hard and that feeling whenever you got a paycheck that there were like 8 people standing there to talk it all away.


But as we were talking he offered to let me move in with him and he actually said that he was sorry about what a douche he used to be. He. Apologized. Idk it's weird..

But whats even weirder is..

He's getting married this weekend to his gf and she PREGNANT.

My dad is like 50. She's like.. 46.

Idk it's just odd that they are having a baby so old xD; I mean he's going to be 70 before the kid is my age and I don't think he'll make it to 70 due to his health but w/e.

I just find it odd lol

I'm sorry that I haven't been the most happy person recently guys.

I hate being that lame ass loser that posts BAW journals. A lot has been going downhill and I guess it's making me be not the best person to talk to and that's not me. I like being a person that people can randomly chat with.. Just life was super good there for a short while.. and now it's just going down again but like always, it'll go up eventually.

I'm trying to work things out and get my brain back in check.

Sorry guys ;w;

I went out and bought one C:

If you want the number then let me know, if you were in my old phone than I most likely have you're number and I'll send mine along if you want it.

It's difficult to look at getting a second job when you work a lot as it is ;w;

especially when the parent that slammed everything at you at once is talking about how she went clothes shopping


I am looking what jobs I could get that would be like.. early morning - 3ish in the afternoon. Although what sucks is I cant apply for places until I get a new phone in a week.

I just hate money sometimes.
so don't mind me lol

So as I was leaving the parking garage, I kinda noticed this car kinda crooked in the right turning lane. I thought, oh maybe its just one of the rich assholes that had a bit too much to drink at the restaurant. So I kinda kept my distance and moved my car a little towards the left turning lane. I thought about just going around and as I was about to the car started flying backwards at my car.

I quickly tried to backup enough but that car went too fast and my car kinda stopped theirs.

So I parked and got out, a little wtf guys cause I assumed it was just drunks. No I didn't shout anything. Just went "Uh.. Guys you hit my car.."

Well one of the guys that works at the parking garage gets out of the passanger side and runs to the drivers to fling open the door and starts yelling in another language.. I think creole.. Not sure.

But the other guy in the exit booth got out and ran over. And the one driving the car.. was the girl that just started working there. The one guy that had been yelling came over and was very apologetic and explained in some broken english that they were trying to teach her how to drive (and it was an obvious stick shift vehicle which is hard to begin with). The girl got out and was crying and shaking.. I felt.. SO bad for her. So she obviously had no license, no insurance, and obviously doesn't make much money working as a ticket/money collector at our parking garage. And she was obviously new to America.


And I just let her go.

It feels like its only a few scratches, no actual structure damage. I told them if there was a problem that I would talk to them about it and its easy to find them cause they all work there. The girl thanked me over and over and her and the guy that had been in the passanger side gave me a big hug.

But damn. She is lucky she hit me and not one of the fancy, rich douchebags that go to the restaurant.


See I'm usually seen as this giant angry bitch sometimes but really I'm the nicest soul out there D8


My mom isn't happy about it at all but oh well. It's a few scratches. Yes, it'll add another bill to my pile and that sucks since you can't let scratches go untreated by the ocean, the salt'll make it lots worse.

But I feel like I did a good deed today. I really do.

I just about pooped myself :C

I got pulled over today leaving work.

Now for me to get pulled over is a VERY dangerous thing.. because I just found out my license had been revoked back in 2007. Why? Error in the system apparently. Like a "failure to appear" kind of thing, however I was only 17 so... why would I have to appear in court? And back then I still lived at home so I would have gotten some kind of letter.

But in the state of California, driving on a suspended license can get you thrown in jail. Yes. Jail.

And each time I try to go to the DMV, my mother insists that we should wait and makes up some sort of dumbass excuse.

Why was I pulled over? Because my car didn't come with a front license plate holder. So I had one sitting in my front seat. However I just got the license plate yesterday and with my work schedule, had no time to find the toyota dealership and get on put on.

And the guy was looking for drunks. I, obviously in a chef coat and smelling like food, came from work so I hadn't been drinking and it was obvious as I was talking and joking with the officer. Thankfully the officer did not run my license or ask for insurance because I dont know where my mom put my insurance card xD; Or I'd be in jail dude.

Fuuuuuuck I got lucky tonight and had a nice cop. Now I'm just worried driving the car to the dealership.

No AC.

I'm just looking at the amount of bills I have to pay and the time left to get that money and unless by a miracle of Muhammad that a few hundred more dollars magically appears in my hands, It will be too tight for me to go. Like I'd probably be able to afford a plane ticket MAYBE but then have no money left over :D And I'm not going to be one to dump myself on people like that. I'm a responsible adult and my bills come before paying to go to a convention.

I'm not going to be like most furries and baw about not having money and needing it from you all then go to a CONVENTION with it. No.

I'm sorry to all those that really wanted to see Itsu hopping around. There's always next year.

However this does open the doors to going to RMFC more in August.

And of course MFF in November.