https://beta.furrynetwork.com/silus/

Please follow me there. My presence on FA will be taking a downhill turn as I move to a better site!

TL;DR: Ivashin doesn't fit me anymore, and as such, I'm now . If you follow, throw Silus a shout!

In 2013, things were great. I felt like Ivashin: confident and on top. But the end of 2013 marked a disconnect I had begun having with the character. You see, Ivashin always has been a character first and a mask (fursona) second. There were obvious differences. Ivashin had different interests, different experiences, different everything, all in my attempt to have a character to roleplay as. But he was the first character that I invested a bit of myself in, and as he grew in popularity, I started accepting him as an identity.

But in 2013, my income became unstable. I messed up with my ex. I was losing my self confidence as I struggled to keep my independence. 2014 saw ups, but mostly downs. I was hired in a three-week contract-to-hire that didn't pan out. I was interviewing for a dream job, thought I did amazing in the interviews, but was denied. I had my entire professional experience and education mocked in another interview, and nothing else panned out. The man behind Ivashin was emotionally defeated.

I ended up living with my parents. Thankfully I had a place to go, but I was a closest gay man in a hostile environment, a "dom" with no self confidence.

The end of 2014 changed things. Through the support of family, friends, and my mate, I got through everything and was hired in the Bay Area. I had to move, and so I found myself alone and still feeling worthless, but at least I was independent.

In 2015, things improved, but I was definitely still hurt. I lacked confidence, but I had a promise ring from my mate. I was depressed though, and couldn't pull myself out of it. It took a toll on things, too. I lost someone important to me. I've tried not to let it get to me, because I had failed and he's better off, but yeah....

Things have been steadily improving the past year though. I'm starting to get shit together and find my old self, but I'm not sure the man behind Ivashin exists anymore.

It's not just what happened in life, either. I've been thinking about switching since 2013, and those closest to me knew I was a lion. I designed him last year with the help from the amazing otter artist and slowly, I've switch from Ivashin to Silus. I did so on F-list first and have been primarily the lion for a year now. Still, I didn't switch on FA or Twitter, and I'm not sure why. Only recently, now that I'm financially secure again, have I been getting commissions.

Why a lion? I strive to be a calm, collected individual, and I'm a laid-back, reclusive kind of guy. A lion just fits my personality so much more than a dog ever would. In some ways, it also fits my changed world-view too. I'm still a dom. Still a top. But I've got scars now, and I've had to fight to get to where I'm at now: on top.

New art will be posted on as well as never-before-submitted art of Ivashin. Did you know that I've got art? :P

Please follow.

This'll be my first con. Hope to meet some great people, both new and old!

If you're there and want to meet up, best way to get in contact with me will be my twitter.

I'm interesting in finding a group of furs to join. I'd prefer not to be the GM since I'm not experienced enough.

A few days ago, Valve announced that Skyrim would now allow modders to charge for their content. The community is speaking and have downvoted Skyrim's 98% rating down to 86%, as of this posting. It's likely to continue to drop.

I encourage anyone who has Skyrim for the PC to either review the game negatively or change their prior review to a negative one.

The modding community has made the Elder Scrolls games what they are. New content, fixes, improvements, complete overhauls, new mechanics.... By people who loved the game and what they did. It was a community effort with mods sharing their work with one another.

I'm not interested in writing a lengthy journal about the pros and cons of the paid mods, but know this: high quality mods have been removed, others have taken down their free content so it doesn't get packed with paid mods, and the modders, if they sell, only make 25% of the sale.

The most important thing is that this is a terrible precedent to set for future games. It allows game publishers to release their game and then rely on the fanbase to create content to make them more money.

Go downvote Skyrim on Steam.

Is anyone interested? I'm considering doing it, but it'd be awesome to get some of you guys to join me in the same cabin. http://campnanowrimo.org/

Oh! And unlike NaNoWriMo, Camp NaNoWriMo has self-set goals ranging from 10k to 999k word novels, short story collections, screen plays, whatever.

If you're interested, post here or send me a note!

hits the nail on the head here: http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/6588664/

Read it and consider it. I highly recommend www.sofurry.com as a replacement for FA, and I am considering removing my art from FA and posting it there.

This Friday morning, a group of protestors will be shutting down the Montgomery BART station beginning at 7am, effectively fucking up the morning commute.

What are they protesting? The arrests of 14 protestors when the same group shut down another BART station. (That protest was on Ferguson.) They're also demanding the BART police dissolve, and better options for low-income workers.

My reaction to this protest is zero sympathy to their causes whatsoever. In fact, I'm hoping that the BART police not only not dissolve, but arrest even more of them for trespassing on railroad property so that the SF-bay area morning commute is not ridiculously fucked over.

Protests are about being being heard and gaining sympathy. Infuriating those that rely on BART to commute to work is not a way to gain support, but a great way to piss people off. Protests are about being heard by the offending parties and getting the public behind the cause, not about angering the public.

The leaders of this protest strike me as very childish and selfish.

Want to hold a protest that speaks volumes without pissing people off? Instead of blocking off a bart station, have people sit cross-legged and holding hands along the buildings on a street, NOT BLOCKING STREETS OR ENTRANCES of said buildings. And wear bright colors or something else that draws the eye. No, it's not a loud form protest. I think it would definitely have people talking, though, and not in anger.

I know i promised a life update in my last journal, and I was going to write a year-in-review thing, but I'll do that later.

For now, I just wanted to share some news.

I got a promise ring for Christmas from my mate!

He helped me pack up my things yesterday for my move to San Francisco, and on the way back from returning his father's truck that we borrowed, he took me up on the mountain lookout. We went on a date there once before, but it was raining and cold, so we couldn't see much.

Tonight, though, it was crystal clear. He asked me if I wanted my final Christmas present, and I said, shivering, "If it's a blowjob, no." ^_^

He then took out a ring box and handed it to me. I was happy, thinking it was his class ring (he said he had found it the week before and asked my ring size), but nope! It's the same ring my character eventually received from his as an engagement ring in an RP we did a few years ago (an RP of at least 300 sessions that went on for over a year).

So....we're not engaged, but I'm happy with this step. It's a commitment, but it allows us to get our own individual lives in order before trying to plan one together, even if it's in the back of our minds.

As some may know, I'm becoming a lion. I'll follow up soon with a life update explaining why and why now after months of intention.

Anyway, I'm wanting suggestions for artists to get either a bust or icon commission.

There are two types of people that ask for money: those that genuinely need help and those that prey on people's good will.

One such example of the latter is an artist I no longer follow. Said artist regularly asks for help via donations because he can't pay rent or one of his cars, his babies, is having trouble. Yet, amid the journals asking for donations are ones that tell how excited he is that his car is getting a new paint job or a new radio or being worked on.

I don't get how someone can ask for money because they can't pay rent yet continue to waste it on car projects. I don't get how someone can go to a furry con and then get back to ask for rent because things came up. I wouldn't be going to a furry con if my situation was that fragile.

Yet, obviously, some people don't get how their choices directly result in their need to ask for more money, and it's sad that they prey on people kind enough and stupid enough to continue to pay up.

Instead of donating your hard earned money to people who simply refuse to be responsible, donate it to people who legitimately need picked up that will put your money to good use. Even the best laid plans fall apart, and sometimes, people do need help. But I also believe people should be grateful for help they receive and do their best to honor the gifts.

Simply put, don't be fooled by people who won't help themselves. Help people that will be thankful beyond their own greed.

is having a gofundme to buy a service dog. I'd appreciate all of you taking a moment of your time to visit the link below and check out the actual gofundme page.

http://www.furaffinity.net/view/13996250/

I also ask that no one mention it to him that I posted this journal. He's offering free sketches for reposting, and I'm not interested in the sketch, but rather helping someone else. As some of you may know, life has been shitty for me, but it can be and is worse for others. I have my own dog--he's not a service animal--but he does bring much joy into my life, and I simply can't imagine how Duke would help .

Thank you.

Edit: He saw my journal when he came to thank me for the watch -_-. Meh.

So there's an artist that I find to be very hit or miss on FA that has recently decided to post a comic in German rather than English because people are correcting his grammar. I'm annoyed because the comic was one of the few reasons why I watched the artist.

I've done a bit of thinking on it, and I've decided to unwatch the artist. I'm positive that he doesn't deserve the shit he got for posting bad English in his comics, but on the other hand, he deserves to be called out for it. It's his art, after all, and if he can't be bothered to take five minutes to get a couple sentences correct, then I don't know.

How one speaks directly correlates to how one thinks. Having bad grammar directly reflects your own ability to think in that language! I forgive people with English as a second language for their grammar because they don't know the language.

But when it comes to art or writing (as in, stories and such), grammar does matter. Have you ever been reading a story and then came across a grammatical error? It breaks the flow. It's distracting. I cringe. There aren't excuses for that.

If you want context, you should read my "Life Update" journal that I wrote two months ago. For a time, things did pick up. I got a few interviews and even landed a temporary contract. Three week contract to hire.

I was happy because I finally had income. There was a lot of stress, of course, because I would have had to move, and during the assignment, I was living in a hotel. Still, things were looking great. No one had any negative feedback for me, and I thought I was well-liked.

Because of that, I went ahead and gave my 30-day notice on my apartment lease.

Well.... Things didn't work out, and now I'm homeless. I'm not on the streets by any means, but I did move all my stuff into storage Saturday and moved completely out on Sunday. I have a couch at my friend's to sleep at, but I'm limited there to just a month. If things don't work out by then, I'm probably moving back home to my parents.

To make matters worse, my friend's landlords won't allow me to keep my dog.... I'm writing this from my parents' house, because they thankfully agreed to watch him while I'm gone.

But still..... I've lost my independence. I've lost my own place, and I've even lost my pet.

All of this because I dared to think optimistically about the job. I didn't get the job because they said that I "had a negative attitude about assigned tasks." I...still don't get how I did when I enjoyed the work given, and the only thing I can think of is that what I said was misunderstood or misconstrued or something. But at the end of the day, my personality was deemed so hostile that they did not want to hire me after investing 3 weeks worth of training. I wasn't even worth talking to about it, and I wish they had, because I certainly didn't intend to present a negative perception of the work. I fucking enjoyed it.... I was happy there.

I'm tired. Mentally and emotionally. I've lost the thing I valued most, my independence, and now I'm not sure I have the confidence to pick myself back up. In the past few months, I've been told that I wasn't structured enough for one company (despite being self-disciplined enough to work forty hours a week remotely without anyone twisting my arm), completely naive and untalented (due to my background not including "authentic" OOP languages), and now that I'm not liked enough.....

I just don't know.

From

Comment with a present below and I'll tell you things about you... or, if I don't know you I'll just make something up.

I will:

1. Tell you what animal/creature you remind me of.
2. Tell you what color I think fits you.
3. Tell you how I feel about you.
4. Insult you.
5. Tell you my favorite OC of yours. (If you have one...)
6. Tell you what season you remind me of.
7. Tell you what food you smell like in my head.
8. Think of a random nickname for you.
9. Tell you what element you remind me of.
10. Ask you to put this in your journal without using the word 'tag'

Life...can be hard. It really can be, and today, I think I'm at a new low in it. I'm not one to whine at people, and I dislike burdening others with my problems. This isn't a post trying to get sympathy or handmeouts or anything like that. This post is me being honest with myself and open to those that care.

I'm not alright. Since November, I haven't really worked--or at least been paid for the work I've done. Until now, I've survived on my own, living frugally while I hoped things would work out.

Yesterday, I was on an emotional high. I had interviewed at a job that is very much dreamlike. It had went well, and I couldn't think of what went wrong. I genuinely though I would make it to the final round of interviews.

Sadly, today, I found out that I didn't. They decided to pass on me because I had stressed too much my desire to learn and be better, giving them the opinion that I would be a burden, or that I wasn't self-disciplined enough to handle the pressure.

The irony of that wasn't lost on me. I've been doing EVERYTHING I can not to burden anyone with my problems. I haven't asked for help. I value my independence and my ability to be self sufficient.

That's over. I've failed. I cannot sustain myself another month, and my parents were willing to provide for me one month if I it looked like I might get this job. But since it's fallen through, I'll probably be moving back in with them around Easter.

I've been called three times today by my mother. Each time, she was excited. I sent her a text to tell her the news so I wouldn't have to talk to her. She's already planning for me to be home and back in the fold.

I suppose it is something that my family misses me. But I don't want to move back home. First, it's a personal failure that I had to do that. I wasn't able to stand on my own two feet. And second? Well, I'm a faggot. They don't know it, and I don't want to go back to dealing with the off-the-cuff remarks about finding a girlfriend. I don't want to continuously be smothered in a hostile environment.

I've cried a lot today. I've been so stressed since November that I don't remember what it means to not be stressed. And now.... I've lost. I feel emasculated and worthless. And please, don't respond saying that it's not true, especially if I don't know you.

I've only got myself to blame.

Rules:

1) Refresh the FA homepage
2) Select top left submission. That's your start point.
3) In your address bar, you'll have something www.furafinity.net/view/xxxxxx where the xxxxxx is a number. From right to left, go to the first non-zero digit. Subtract 1 from it
4) Repeat on new image, but using the second non-zero digit.
5) Keep repeating until you reach the far left digit and start at the right again. IF THE FAR LEFT DIGIT WOULD BE A ZERO, DELETE IT INSTEAD.
6) Do three right to left rounds.

You get a point for each submission that has been deleted or that can't be found. You don't win anything, but you do get to look at submissions you'd probably have never looked at before.

Comment any awesome or really weird things you stumble across!

NOTES:
Do NOT convert non-leading 0s to 9s. This game is using FA's API to look up images in the database via the url. Each time a new submission is made, it gets assigned a number, which should be +1 to the one previous. If you go over that number, you wont' find anything to see.

seems to be an amazing artist that just doesn't get much attention. Or at least enough.

There's this auction for a character from her(him?) that is currently only at $50. For THREE pictures of the character, and they're not bad quality at all. If I had money, I'd buy the character myself, but I don't have extra cash at the moment. That's despite the fact he has headfur (bleh).

http://www.furaffinity.net/view/11971016/

Above is one of three pictures of Arlo, a cute twink mutt. There's an icon-worthy pic and an NSFW pic too.

If it says anything, I rarely pimp raffles and especially not auctions. But the artist is pretty damn good, and I'd say this character is done at the same level of some of the more popular, far-more expensive artists out there.

http://www.furaffinity.net/view/11971016/
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/11971016/
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/11971016/

In an effort to write more, I've decided it's probably best to avoid writing my own ideas right now because I often get too caught up in the quality of the idea and how to run with it rather than actually just writing.

I'd like for you all to volunteer your ideas for characters and scenes. I'll probably mix and match randomly unless someone gives me something that I'll deem a must-write. My goal is to write scenes only, not fully-fledged stories, but if I'm inspired, I won't stop writing. If I do decide to write something you contribute, I'll be taking full artistic freedom with your idea: if you have a problem with me not getting your fursona down correct or your idea exactly, then don't share it. These exercises aren't commissions, and I don't want to treat this as a job. This is supposed to be fun!

Multiple entries encouraged!

So, this is how this will work:

1) Journal pimping is welcomed but not required.*
2) Watching is welcomed but not required.*
3) Comment your ideas in the following format:

A) Character Name, Species, and Gender (M/F/Trans only)
B) Character Name, Species, and Gender (M/F/Trans only)
C) Sentence on how Character A knows/meets/interacts with Character B
D) Sentence describing a setting for the scene
E) Three words to describe the mood.
F) Any other considerations you think are important.


*I'm not doing raffles. These are purely writing exercises that might end up as stories.

This is something I've been thinking about constantly today: what species actually work in a world of furries. There are a lot of different versions of peoples' worlds that they use in their writing, ranging from with humans to without, with birds to without, etc.

A lot of my thoughts regarding these differences can be summed up nicely: to each his own.

For me, I prefer worlds without humans where all anthros are mammals. Reptiles, fish, birds, insects aren't anthropomorphic. That is not to say I dislike anthros from nonmammals, but to say that in my own writing, when I'm doing world building, I have them as ferals.

There are, however, problems with just mammals. The simple fact is that anthro worlds are based off of our human world, and so much of our society is dependent on animal products. Ranging from meat to eggs to milk to clothing to transportation to pets to service animals and so on.

There are only really three options to solve this problem: 1) certain mammals are feral; 2) society is not dependent on animal products; 3) mammals can be anthro or feral.

I'll come right out and say that I find option #3 to be just blatantly awkward. This solution does work if you don't delve into it, though, but I can't ignore some of the more obvious issues. Would a bull anthro eat a steak? Presumably at least some anthro cattle would take an active interest in that their feral counterparts not be slaughtered, and I imagine that species-based special interest groups would develop in ways for worse than PETA ever could. Even if you can somehow get around the cultural implications, it still fails to answer an even bigger problem: why are some anthro and some not?

The only answers that consistently work are ones that require some sort of intervention into the world's development. Alien mutations, some virus that turns all humans into anthros, etc, etc, etc. I don't like any of those because they inherently make the world less believable. I welcome someone to explain how or why evolution would have caused the differences to occur naturally.

Solution 2 is the only one that I think works completely, but it isn't without it's own problems. What do carnivores eat? Or do they have similar digestive systems to ourselves? And finally, what the hell would society look like without milk? Technology can replace some of these, but lets jump back five hundred years. How would have society looked without horses? No beef farming? Sheep for clothing? That's a lot of chicken.

Solution 1 is the one I generally go with, but I can't decide where to draw lines? And dogs provide a big problem. If you look at the fandom, they're everywhere, but it's hard to imagine an actual population of furries to have such a robust set of dog breeds. Deciding which breeds made it and which ones didn't requires arbitrary decisions, and I don't really care for that because it's, well, arbitrary.

So far, the best line I've came up with is just to say domesticated animals are feral. Bovines and equines are feral. No dogs or cats, period. I don't mind sacrificing dogs and cats, but horses make good anthros and so do bulls. Maybe a necessary sacrifice.

Could do predators are anthros and prey aren't. But again, you lose quite a bit of interesting species to work with and those lines aren't clear.

What are your thoughts?

Check it out! She's coloring my ref sheet!

http://www.livestream.com/caseyshenanigans

is giving away $100 to a lucky person. Very generous offer that can be used for anything, like plane tickets!

http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/5101472/
http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/5101472/
http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/5101472/

So I'm guessing most of you watch me for the art I have commissioned, but as my profile indicates, I'm a writer.

Or...well, as much as a writer can be that's suffered from long-term writer's block.

I'm looking for ideas on how to break that, and I have two ideas:

1) An hour of writing per day where the goal is to produce a single scene. Quality and quantity don't matter, but the production of content. I'd probably post these for feedback and to hopefully build support from you guys--I'm worried that some people won't like the spam, though....

2) Five paragraph community scenes. What's this? Basically, you guys give me three things to work with: a) character 1, b) character 2, and c) one-sentence description of a scenario. The catch? I'll be picking each one randomly from all the submissions.

What do you guys thing? Any suggestions on what else to do?

If you are an artist and you host an auction or take a commission, I think it's highly appropriate that you don't sit on the money without working on the art.

Take a look at my main page for a list of commissions/YCHs that I've purchased. The only artist on that list that I have no problem with is Anakuro who took on a bunch of junk-shot commissions. Why? Because he's been (slowly) releasing them. At least I know progress is going on there, and he has a queue listed so I understand why I haven't seen my art yet.

The rest can't be said for the others.

One artist completed a YCH I bought from them, but to be frank, it was rather...bad and really subpar compared to the other work. Not to mention that the artist took a second YCH that came out amazing but sold for less. Granted, said artist volunteered to redo the picture, which I hope turns out better than before. However, the fact that it took months to get the first picture is still bad, and that the same artist is currently taking regular sketch commissions is another thing I'm not overjoyed about. To be fair, I did say for the artist to take their time and according to the journals, life is rough and the money from sketches is needed. But still.... an update would be nice. "Hey, I really need to work on these so I can eat. I haven't forgotten about you, though," goes a very long way.

Another artist has pretty much dropped off the face of the earth and I'm considering asking for a refund. I sent a note and got a reply, but after almost 8 months of waiting and the only two communications from the artist being payment info and a reply to a note I sent a few weeks ago, a refund might be in order.

The third artist last communicated with me over a month ago promising WIPs that weekend. I just sent an email out and that's what inspired this journal. To be honest, I'm considering asking for a refund simply because the money would be nice to have in other areas.

Why is it that the best service that I've received from artists has come from artists that worked really slow but didn't accept payment until after the thing was finished ala or artists that I didn't have to pay at all like ? I would have expected Werethrope to take 8 months to finish the piece I won in a raffle rather than an artist I paid.

Taking money and then not communicating or not working on art is just not acceptable. If an artist cannot complete the work, then no money should be taken, and even if payment needs to be upfront, then that money should not be spent until the work is done.

Needless to say, I'm done buying work from anyone that takes money upfront unless they're a professional artist such as or , or an artist that I actually trust to make due on their promises, such as or .

I try to be good about thanking people for watches. I'm not always timely, and I do often do procrastinate doing it.

Anyway, since I now have watchers who I never thanked that watched me over a month ago, I'm going to create a thank you journal to both thank them and admit that I am, in fact, a bad dog.

watched me over a month ago! Thanks!

also watched me over a month ago, and it's appreciated!

is the final person that watched me an age ago, and so thank you!

comes in at 3 weeks. Thanks for the watch!

and watched me yesterday. Thanks, and you both get timely appreciation.


There are also people that I haven't thanked for faves. Thanks to everyone who's faved a piece!