Officially now, my name is yonkers, and jackpot is my nickname. There’s still no capitalization.

I don’t expect people to change how they refer to me but I guess it’s possible that a few will use yonkers occasionally. If any, especially any friends, use yonkers when talking to me it will make me really happy. I like it because to me, when used as a name for an individual it sounds goofy. As a name for a donkey it’s onomatopoetic or phonesthemic or something like that. Any linguist want to help me out? Driving back from ANE last year I passed through Yonkers New York. It had probably been over a decade since I had read or heard the name. When I saw a sign for it I instantly knew I’d take it as a name somehow or other.

There is a twitter account that’s not well known. Little updates and anecdotes from jackpot’s life are posted occasionally. It’s written by his main handler. - ‪@HardLifeOfAnAss

As an example of what can be found there, here is a little thread posted tonight:

~
When I go out to tend to jackpot in the morning he runs up to his stall door, hops a little on his forelegs and brays loudly at me. I’ve started to grab him by the basees of his ears and say “What did you say? Are you trying to tell me you’re a hawppy dawnkey?”
~
He gets so embarrassed he tries to turn his head away but I don’t let him. He brays a bit more in protest with a “ERRRRAAW-HEEE-HAAAAAAAW!!!” but I tell him “Your a good boy! You make me happy too.” Then I give him a quick kiss on his nose and he exhales heavily.
~
It’s intense for him but I can’t help it. He’s so fun to tease and he’s such a sweet beast.
~

Check out the account and follow it if you’re so inclined. You can ask questions there too.

HAAAAAWPPYEEEEEE-HAAAAAW-HEEEE-HAAAAAAAAAW!!! (happy new year) ❤️

Here’s a video of an event I did a couple of weeks ago. I often win at jumping but wearing those hooves I was pretty bad, as you can see. I avoided being on video dancing but I guess it would have been ok. Few were willing to be videoed but those shown are all awesome friends. The pony/trainer talking thoughout who end the video are looking to fill their FWA room btw. If anyone still needs space send me a note.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B3fftwhfvE4

something else done with the coverage:
https://youtu.be/w6W0SrRrnoM

I’ve been away for ages but in a few days (or after MFF if I don’t get time) I’ll start posting some new commissions I’ve received in the last few years. =XB

Halloween is approaching so here are some quick sketches of some of my favorite ideas for how I became a donkey, that involve witches.

• As I was walking along a neighborhood path after a rain shower I came upon a witch standing where the grass ended. She was annoyed because she needed to get home but didn't want her white shoes to get muddy. I told her that I would offer my coat but it would only cover a couple of steps. This further irritated her and she demanded to have it. After receiving it she pulled out a wand and transmogrified me into a braying farm animal, placed my coat on my back and rode me home. While dismounting she dropped the wand by my right rear hoof, and in shifting I immediately stepped on it and crushed it. In an angry voice she called me a dumb ass because by breaking the wand I made my donkefication permanent. She slammed the door and not knowing what to do I just stood around. I never saw her again but other witches came across me and now I pull a plow for them. They must know by the front of my lips, my eyes and the skin on my ass that I was, and in small part I still am, human. They talk to me like I understand. Maybe they were even told by the first witch but they just treat me like a donkey.

• A witch always wanted to know what it was like to be a magician and have an audience. She decided to do a show just once to satisfy her curiosity and desire. I attended, and when she asked for a volunteer she spotted me trying not to be seen and picked me. When I got onstage she turned me into the barnyard beast I remain today. For that whole show I was the butt of her jokes. When they left, her laughter and that of those who were watching faded, as they turned their conversation to other things and I frantically brayed and stomped. At night I cry myself to sleep just inside the woods. At least I'm able to find grasses to eat at the edge of town. I'm afraid to wander off in nature but afraid to be seen by people. I don't know what they might do and I can't read anymore, or understand if they talk too fast.

• I was in love with a princess but didn't have the status to be in her presence. Except that is on her upcoming birthday, when everyone could give her presents. While I was away the rest of the town bought her a new carriage for the occasion. I couldn't afford to buy anything to pull it, so I gave the little I owned to a witch. I had her turn me into a donkey and tie a card I made to my tail, and I gave myself to my crush as a gift. Now I get to see her as she gets in and out of her seat, and I feel honored to work for her. However she never gives me a pat or pet or even a word of praise in passing. Someday, I hope, upon reflection she might be so impressed with my devotion and sacrifice that she develops feelings for me over time. As things are she turns her nose up and averts her gaze.

• When I tried to ask out a witch I became so awkward and bashful that I couldn't speak and I tripped over myself. Being in close proximity to her powers the intensity of my state of mind forced my body to change to match, and I turned into a jackass. She keeps me in a barn and cares for most of my needs because she worries what would happen to me otherwise. She feels deeply sorry for me but remains a little freaked out too. As much as anything what I feel is guilt.

• Driving in the country miles from anywhere my car ran out of gas. Walking with my gas can I came across a tiny one room farmhouse. The lonely girl living there turned out to be a witch. She didn't want me to leave so thinking fast she said a spell to transform me into an appropriate pet. When she saw me as a jackass she couldn't stop laughing. Chuckling all the time she still can't get over how funny I am to her. She keeps me inside, lies on her bed and watches TV with me, and talks to me though I can't talk back. We try to play board games but I'm so clumsy it never works. She says that through magic, the more I'm frustrated from my attraction to her, the more powerful she becomes as a witch.

Well, I guess this is nothing new. Recently I've had to admit again that for a straight male furry over forty years old who is shy, there's no chance of ever finding anyone to date. Actually I could leave out the furry and age part and it would still be true. ...or I could keep in the furry part and leave out being shy. For a while I managed to fool myself. I wonder if people who aren't shy have any idea how socially isolated and underemployed shy people are. I happen to be extroverted too, so I'm lonely. In the social situation I'm in these days I feel like I'm just waiting to die. Things are a little more complex but it's pointless to explain further. I'm sorry I have nothing more positive to say.

Hay everybody!

I know I'm never on here any more and I should be. Tonight I just poped on to see if I could find MFF roomspace for Wednesday night and/or Sunday night. The hotel and other details are unimportant. Obviously I have ghe rest of my stay secured. It's just getting kind'a close now.

If anyone wants to keep up with me better, I'd suggest following me on twitter. Soon I may try again to be active on FurryNetwork and on here too.

I hope everyone is doing well. I'm ok.

Hay everybody!

I'll post a con report soon. Generally I spent much more time socializing, though with fewer people, than at most cons.

At the con I became worried about the quality of writing in my character description. I removed the text temporarily but I'll revise it and re-post it soon. Now that the con is over my next goal is to finish my reference sculpture too, by the way.

After a few years as my dear pet play owner,  cloveroo has released me to the wild so to speak. Work and other obligations have kept her from filling her role in a manner she felt was satisfactory. I am grateful for all she did, including engaging me in some great play, giving solid advice, teaching me and introducing me to a few special people. However I appreciate her situation and don't want to cause any problems, or undue work or stress. While I am sad to drop plans we made, I am also excited to search for a new owner. What is most important anyway, is that  cloveroo and I we are close friends and just as important to each other as ever. Thanks to her for being an amazing friend and caring owner for a time.

I won't repeat myself here. Just click the link below.

http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/6459747/

The project started out on twitter actually. Using twitter and FA together to mysteriously alert furs to interesting things was fun. Unfortunately I never got around to making more than one image for a specific furry.

For some reason I feel like I should post something about this. Monday I found out that I have glaucoma and have lost some vision. I had thought I'd noticed something. Next week I'm driving back down to Florida. (I just got back from there today.) I'll have an operation that should help for up to four or five years. I may still need to start medication immediately but maybe not. Anyway, tonight I'm starting to feel kinda' down from this. Any lost vision is permanent so I'll always have to stay on top of this and make sure I continue with any treatment I need. It would help if my doctor was up here where I have some friends, but whatever. I'll have to go back again at the end of the month too.

Ok, that's all. A lot of other stuff in my life is looking promising which is good. ...sorry to be a bit of a bummer.

I'm simply linking an older journal of mine here because I'm so fond of it:
"Why does nobody seem to get this?!"
http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/5321060/

This was a strange con, but good overall. My phone went missing overnight on Friday and it took me a few hours alone on Saturday, to make myself get over it. I used my tablet to tweet when I could get wifi but DMs aren't as effective as texting and not everyone is on twitter, etc., I still managed to have some fun and very fulfilling times when I did catch friends. This is a small enough con that people hang out for longer intervals and I know more of these con goers better than those I see at other cons. It's nice to be at a con where there are people who make an effort to hang out with me. I wish some of my Florida friends lived closer so I could hang out more than just a couple of times a year. I have more here who I think would, than in Atlanta even. I'll be back next year and see some at MFF and FWA though, and I may see a couple at other times. My fursuit zipper busted fairly early in my suiting time but that's ok. There was some stress and strangeness that I've not had at a con before but there seem to always be new good and bad things. (This time it was people's relations with each other, but there's no reason to explain further.) I'm still not good at finding parties but this con is really social anyway. Thinking back, some of my better furry friends I got to know at Florida cons. This year I met a couple of great people. I was too exhausted for a while for fursuit bowling on Thursday night. It's a big goal of mine to do this someday and I'll have another shot at the next Megaplex so I'll give myself more rest ahead of it. For me it was a lot easier suiting in this weather than it was last year.

Anyway I'm too sleepy to mention names but perhaps I'll do a better report at a later time. I'm not looking forward to driving back but I may be able to sleep now. If this was rambling or didn't make sense it's just tiredness.

goodnight, I love you all.

Ah, one last note: I'm still so amazed that my suit gets the kinds of reactions I was hoping for.

Post below any assumptions you have about me and see if you're right.

If you assume wrong don't worry, you'll only make as ass out of me, and "u" will be ok. (I get doubly assified. ...and I'm already a complete ass! Uh oh.)

An AC wrap-up is coming, but not tonight. Here is my Megaplex meme:

+ Where are you coming from?

Atlanta.

+ What day are you getting there?

Thursday!

+ What days are you going to be at the con?

I'm leaving Monday.

+ What are your favorite places to lurk at the con?

I wander. This is a con that's small enough so that people have time for me to hang out with them in their rooms some.

+ Who will you be rooming with?

My enthusiastic new friend Tibb Bear. I hardly know Tibb but after this con that won't be the case. Also:

I'm up for two more roommates if anyone is looking.

+ How old are you?

45 With many in the fandom 45 seems to be the new 85 but I know better.

+ Who will you be with throughout the con?

I'm never really around the same people for a con but have nothing against the idea. This is a small con with a higher concentration of furs I know. This is the most social con for me, and there are people who will be excited to see me there.

At larger cons, those I know better run around seeing dear friends they rarely see, and I don't know other folks well enough to hang out. What works at those is stopping people to chat in passing. They're great for exposing myself (as expressed in my suit) to a lot of people. I'm so lucky that so many have such a great reaction!

+ What suit(s) will you be bringing?

I'll bring the jackpot plush suit. This is the con at which I'd most like to basically live in suit, but due to the weather I only got in a half-hour last year. I'm much more in shape now though.

+ What do you look like?

For the most part I'm an average grey donkey jack. However I have buck teeth and some other features for which people make fun of me and for which I'm too embarrassed to mention.

+ Do you do free art?

*sighs* Instead of having hands at shelf level I have another pair of feet on the ground. This and not being able to speak makes it hard to buy art supplies. sorry

+ Do you do trades?

I'll gladly trade carrying stuff for you for a carrot, or something like that. I love being useful.

+ Do you do commissions?

When I've been asked professionally I have, but with furry art I just love to commission others.

+ Do you have an Artists'/Dealers table?

Nope.

+ Do you do badges?

I wear them. Maybe that should count as doing.

+ Will you have Art in the Art Show?

...not this year. I should do these more in the future.

+ What panels will you be attending?

I'll have to check and see if there's anything of interest to me, and then see what happens there. If I thought anyone would be curious to know the answer I'd look now.

+ Are you in any panels?

...none to my knowledge.

+ What is your gender?

male

+ How tall are you?

6' 2"

+ Taken?

That would be nice. I'm a 45 year old shy straight male furry. The shyness alone means I'm always alone, the rest seals the deal. I am open to whatever might happen.

I do have an owner for pet play but I'm allowed to play with anyone as long as I get permission, specific or general for the con. I love my owner, and I love everybody!

+ Can I talk to you?

First of all, if I'm in suit I'll only be able to bray, stomp out numbers and shake my head "yes" or "no" but I've always wanted to attempt to converse this way! I'd love for someone to engage me deeply in conversation while I'm an ass. For me the challenge sounds like fun, but I do realize that for others the frustration involved doesn't make it sound desirable. I'm just a bit odd.

If I'm out of suit I'm easy to talk to so please do! Often people think I'm brushing them off since I'm shy. (Even at AC I heard that someone to whom I was happy to talk, who tried to speak to me, thought I shut him down. - I always feel like others might feel trapped so I let them go.)

+ Can I touch you?

Sure! Since I'm shy even some huggy friends seem to think I'm against it but the opposite is the case. (It's the same reason people don't joke around with me but enough about of of that.)

+ Can I get you drinks?

Yup. I'm not one of those people who feels weird about free stuff from others.

+ Can I give you stuff?

Yup. same

+ Are you nice?

I hope to be and everyone says I am, so I guess I'm good at this. Actually I'm lucky enough to where it's just natural for me.

+ How can I find you?

Feel free to note me for my cell number, DM me on twitter, or look for a tall guy with large sideburns and a donkey tail. I may finally have some ears to match too.

+ Will you be at the bowling event Thursday night?

HEEEE-HÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ!!!
Yes!! I've been wanting to do fursuit bowling for years!!! *jumps and kicks in place as he turns around in a circle, braying loudly and enthusiastically*

+ Will you be dressed for the theme?

Well I have made props and stuff to wear for my last two cons. I'll have to check the theme and my time. If i am it will be a surprise.

Hay, are there any furs around Atlanta want to do fursuit (or not,) bowling, lazer tag, or best idea: go-carts? There needs to be something! I've been waiting years for something like that and I may organize something for the end of the month.

In other news, I haven't really been on FA in months but I'm coming back again, hipefully to stay a while this time. Twitter has been my main social outlet for about a year at least. ...time to expand back out.

This year I've decided to make a few resolutions. One of them I shared on twitter recently and I thought I'd share it here too.

This year I'm going to be more assertive in getting to know my furry friends and acquaintances better. (Of course as always I'll still try to make more.) Hopefully it won't seem creepy that I've decided to become closer to more folks, instead of just letting it happen. It's just that in general letting it happen isn't working. Just about everyone lives somewhere else, and since I'm shy in addition, it's hard to get to know them, even over the course of years. I'm very lucky to have made a handful of very good furry friends and a truly great one. (Most of the closer ones I hear from about once a year, but that doesn't mean we don't care.) I'm lucky also, to have others who like me a good bit and care. However it would be nice to know more than one (of those who do the following types of things) well enough to get gift art from, get invited to visit from out of town, etc., Perhaps if I try doing those things myself, despite not knowing folks that well, it will help.

Those who aren't as close to varying degrees are great people. It's not as though they are random strangers. It really is a fear that being more assertive, (messaging, giving gifts, etc.,) might be unwelcome. I have no idea. Is it creepy that I care a lot about people I don't know well? Out of this group of people there are a couple who I am quite sure will welcome the interest, at least. Does this goal, or my continued goal of meeting new people, seem preconceived in a bad way?

This isn't going to be easy for me, but I think it will be worth the hard work.

Just because I don't have a middle or last name, have huge long furry ears I can move around, have to sleep on straw and dirt, have four legs, end up braying loudly any time I try to speak, don't get to wear any cloths at all ever, regularly have to pull a plow through hard-packed rocky ground, have a thick coat of hair covering most of my body, can't maintain an upright posture no matter how hard I try, often have a halter and harness or other tack attached to me, love to roll around in dust, have prehensile lips tough enough to resist thorns, eat primarily hay and other grasses which I manage to digest, am not allowed any privacy at all when relieving myself, can use my tail to swish away horseflies, carry people on my back for long distances and get hitched up outside while they get to go inside, drink water from a trough, get praised as a "good boy" when I have enough control to do only what people want me to, have big single toes in place of hands and feet, can't groom myself and have to be cleaned up after, live in a shack made of splintery scrap wood and corrugated metal, can reach behind my ears to scratch them only with my rear hooves, have 62 chromosomes, am not entitled to a social security number, and feel compelled to eat my own waste when I need to replace certain digestive constituents, it doesn't mean that I'm somehow a donkey and not human!

haaaw
>hmpffff<, >hf, hf<
...
ee, ee, ee-e-eyaaaaaaaaw-he-haw-he-haw:
HEEE-HAAAAAAAAAW-HEE-HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAW!!!!!!!!

*stomps, shakes his head and kicks in his stall*

Suiting at AC was about the best thing I've ever done! If anyone sees any pics of me in suit here then please let me know. So far I've not found any.

Thanks!

Wow, another strange con. It was so great to finally suit as a complete jackass at a con while the con was on! Hopefully there will be a bunch of pics posted. I got to see some old friends and the suit helped me make a few new ones. ...now to track them down.

Thanks so much to everybody there!

Where are you staying?
I'm looking for roomspace at the Westin so I can be close to my owner.

Who will you be with?
Hopefully I'll be seeing friends and meeting new people.

Do you do trades?
Yes! I will trade money for artwork, hospitality for some company, hugs for hugs, and hay for dog kibble.

What suits will you have?
I'll be sporting my plush jackpot suit!

What is your gender?
male

How old are you?
45

Can I talk to you?
Please do.

Can I buy you a drink?
sure

What's your poison?
I seem to mostly drink rum and good beer these days.

Can I commission you?
Um, OK. - How about one bunch of carrots per acer plowed? You will have to arrange such a rental through my owner though.

What events will you be attending?
I know I'll do the fursuit games. I have to look to see what else is happening.

Can I hug you?
Please do! Because I'm shy people think I want them to stay away. The opposite is true!

How tall are you?
6' 2"

Are you nice?
always

Are you friendly?
quite

How long are you going?
I'll be there the whole time.

Do you have an artist table?
no (I'm not a table artist.)

Do you like parties?
yup

If I see you, how should I get your attention?
Bark, yodel, whatever suits your fancy.

Ok, I've always wanted to attend one of those cons that everyone raves about. Let's make this one amazing!

I asked this on twitter and I'll share the feedbag, I mean feedback, if I get some ideas offered here.

If I was canine, what breed would I be?

catching up on journals tonight