Sawwy. I got really burned out from RL and dealing with melodramatic people and their lives. Lots of other stuff i won't go into publicly as well. Basically, I got sick of people and furries and walked away. I'm slowly coming back. I nuked the backlog of journals and stuff. I have too much crap going on to delve headlong into the fandom again.

I did go to Furlandia for a bit on Saturday. I was comped from working my fuzzy ass off last year so I figured I should go see how year two was going. I haven't really been going to local events and meets due to simply being tired and burned out from people. I'm an empath and no matter how much I try, I can't visualize a shield to block emotions from others, so being around a lot of people, especially those who are emotional or high energy, so being at a mall or around a lot of people burns me out fast.

My next book won't be Dahlia's War, because by popular demand, I'm putting out the latest manuscript, which is also Anthro. I just have to get back to it. And find someone to make the cover.

Right now I'm still in "retreat from world" mode. Trying to sort RL out.

Although, I log in here and find a Note that says I've been listed as a writer in a database here on FA. Not some official database or anything... but I'm listed. I guess i need to write more anthro stuff, huh?

Furlandia and GearCon insanity done. Got a retail gig. In training right now, and I'm freaking tired from the schedule. I'm tired, in a bit of achy pain, and not exactly in a really peppy mood.

So, I'm not volunteering for another convention until I get two books out. First on the block is the second in my series, Library Cat-A-Clysm. Then I'll tackle Dahlia's War. I've started a facebook page for it and will likely do a Kickstarter to crowdfund the price of a cover commission and various marketing materials. I have a note sent to one artist whose work I like.. thanks to CoffeeHouseDog/CoffeePup for that suggestion.

One may ask why I'm not asking my local artist friends to do it. Here's my answer. Now, it may get some folks a little hurt, feelings-wise, but I ask that folks understand where I'm coming from in this. I want artwork that is clean, few lines outlining everything, well blended colors and crisp background. Yes, I'm being "picky." Why? Because this is going to be on the cover of a book. It has to be DAMN GOOD to capture the eye of a reader who doesn't know my writing. I don't mind getting personal art from friends... commission or otherwise. But I'm going to be extremely picky, bordering on snobbish, for any cover art. If I'm going to gather funds and potentially pay someone somewhere in the 3 figure range for art, it has to be damn good art.

So, yeah, call me a snob for wanting top notch artwork for my book cover. Go ahead. But if you understand my reasons, and have any ideas other than Falvie (who likely won't be able to do it) or Balaa (the one I have a note to), let me know.

So, I have a roommate. Hours cut back at work due to illnesses. Survived the term at school (and have a cool ballet costume to show off).

~Roommate is sleeping on the floor, soon to be on a loveseat that folds out... but need to get it first. We're on the waiting list for a 2 bedroom place.

~Work... urgh. In January, I got a cold, then got better (or so I thought), then got slammed with a sinus infection. Came back from that and then my heart started going bonkers. Yeah. And now I'm mildly sick again, but I think this is mostly exhaustion... I just hate resting so damn much when I need to get stuff done. I applied for another job, even though I still have this one at limited hours working from home. It ain't gonna pay my rent (even with a roomie).

~School is mostly survived. Still have to finish off papers for ballet history, but I survived. We NAILED the presentation. Ooohs and Aaaahhs from classmates when I walked in wearing the costume. It was so much fun.

I'm on Staff for Furlandia and GearCon. No Orycon this year. I'm taking a break from even going.

Spring Break will consist of cleaning and making room for the roomie... and working on Summer's hat. A long overdue commission that needs to be done. I know more hand sewing techniques now from my other class... I'm prepared! WHEEE!!

Letting the cold meds kick in... they help a little. I need to boost my immune system big time... the last few months have been hell.

Will keep working on my sketch of Jaeli. I haven't touched that in a while.

*grumbling and sniffling back to my cave*

I'm a writer. I'm not that good of an artist. I need the cover done of my next book, but can't afford to pay anyone. So, commissioning someone is out. Back to the original plan: find images of a Siamese and Mars and do another photo layering job... I can do that... usually.

The images I like of the cats are all too fussy in the backgrounds for me to clean up effectively.

I have a particular look in my head of how I want the cover to look... but can't get it done right. I've tried drawing it... nope... sucks even worse.

Help?

ACe (whom I think is AcexCat)! He did a piece for me of my penguin mascot for my Clan (the site is down right now, due to a lack of funds when the domain went up for renewal). But it's back up now.

Now to find the other artist.... hmmmmm...

I want to put group names and links into my FA profile... like joining the asexualfurs group... but the formatting to do it has confounded me. I'm likely leaving something stupid out...

I tried linking to friends profiles, but not having success... grrrr...

Anyone?

Nothing illicit! New computer. courtesy of my boss, whom I'm paying back in installments... but it's much bigger than my Mini9 I've been living with as my primary computer for 3 years now. Dell Vostro. I swear you could fit two of the mini9's on this thing... but finally a normal size screen at home again... WHEEE!!!!

I know it has little to do with furry stuff, but it's still nice...

Here's a fun little "challenge" for an artist here. A writer friend last night had four raccoons on her back porch, so I started the gag about "if the next one brings the keg, you know you're in for a long night." And thus, the frat Rho Alpha Raccoonus. If someone wanted to draw, just for the fun of it, a bunch of raccoons, in togas, with a keg and glasses full of beer, stoned, in full color... I would love you forever.

Of course the toga comments got everyone into Roman stuff, "Et tu, Raccootus?" but I was thinking more along the lines of Animal House toga party.

I may have to find a way to pay someone for this, of course... in trade or something... but if you're up for the challenge, try your hand at it... something in that cartoony look... funny, goofy... a bunch of fat raccoons in togas, drinking beer. I mean, really... if my drawing skills were better, I'd take a stab at it myself. But I'd love to see what others can do...

Anyone up for the challenge?

OMG I had a blast. So, I was finishing Zumai to the VERY last minute, but it was worth it. I still need to make some tweaks to the suit... fix some things... longer ruff down the front, etc... pictures will show eventually... my camera never made it out of the bag, but that's okay... I still had my pic taken a LOT!!!! Got to roam some of the parties... The trick is to go up the smaller bank of elevators (near the coffee bar) to the 9th floor, then go up to the 15th...

I managed to suit for about three hours, including the time up on stage judging... and then during the token handing out process, I danced a bit...

My handler did very well... so thank you to doorintosummer for being my handler for a newbie suiter... (I hope I did that tag thing right... first time trying that... edit: not working... I'll figure it out eventually)

I was the only fursuit at Orycon (they have frustrating rules at the hotel about no masks in the main lobby area... security thing), but got LOTS of compliments...

I even purred for a few people... nice thing about using fosshape for the head... what you do, like purring, is amplified a bit... I think... because it's hollow.

Lots and lots of fun.

While I also have some "real world" stuff to take care of, I will be taking a good chunk of the weekend to work on Zumai. I have all of two weekends left to get her done. I have pretty much everything obtained. I'll be cutting out the bodysuit today, so I can see where my scraps are for the head and feetpaws.

I'm cheating some on the handpaws, unfortunately. I'll be using satin gloves... very close in color (they call it "champagne" but it's so close to the "camel" color of my fur). I just see my frustration level skyrocket trying to make gloves out of my fabric.... *shudders* folks in Texas would likely hear me screaming... and I'm in Oregon.

I'm also a little unsure of how to go about the fosshape for the head. Should I cut rough template pieces based on parts of the head, then sew them together? Trying to sort that out... any tips would be helpful. Once the fosshape is molded on, I think I'll be okay.

If I can get the bodysuit at least cut out today, and a template made (if that's going to be the best route) of the head pieces, then tomorrow I can cut and form the fosshape... and start sewing up the bodysuit. I can fur the feet during the week... and finish the head by next weekend...

Her necklace is done, except for a clasp. The corset needs detail painting, but that won't take me long... and i need to attach the "skirt/ruffle" to the corset.

It's been a slow and frustrating process... and i know i'm technically behind... but I can do this... of course, if anyone wants to come over and help (who has furred feetpaws or heads, etc) the help would be appreciated.

What gets me is that one person in the costumers group I'm doing this for said that others don't understand why I'm going through all this trouble for a short time on stage.

1. we're the judges... we should show, in our own costumes, our own craftsmanship and creativity, and thus show to be more qualified to judge -others- on theirs.

2. this isn't -just- for that hour or so on stage... this is a suit I want to wear elsewhere... so yes, I'm putting a lot of effort into it... and this is an issue, how?

Off for now...

Finally getting down to things... the fur is ordered, as no one seems to give a shit about calling me back from FD, and I can't find the longer pile minky I want online... so I'm using the shorter pile... ordered 6 yards. LIkely too much, but hey... I'd rather have too much than not enough... and I got a good deal. Won't arrive until next week some time, so I'm getting everything else as ready as possible.

I finally have a pair of shoes.

One foot paw carved. Tomorrow the other one...

"Wardrobe" is a corset I'll dress up somehow. Leather, painted in African colors and such... two layers of the red around the middle are down. I'll paint the turquoise tomorrow quite likely.

This weekend is the birthday celebration weekend, so I'm also going out both evenings.

Also, the investor inspections are on Tuesday for my building, and they pick apartments at random. Those who've seen my apartment know that I prefer they don't come near my place... but I'll be elsewhere... so I'm also going to do as much cleaning as humanly possible... this weekend.

No pressure or anything...

On top of organizing the stuff for Orycon publications, homework for school, starting to memorize lines for my first bit for acting class... etc...

Does anyone have the number for the nearest Padded Room Facility? I may be needing it before long...

I finally have the Fosshape (a mere 1 yard for now) ordered. My guess is that they'll fill the order tomorrow and send it on its way via UPS Ground. All the other shipping options were more than the actual order.

**shameless begging**
For my birthday, gift cards to Fabric Depot, Home Depot and Target would be greatly appreciated. I need a heat gun to form the Fosshape (although I may be borrowing one from someone), and all the financial help I can get to purchase the Minky for the suit. Target... well... I really do need to tackle the cleaning up of this hellhole I live in... and I do need large rubbermaid bins... lots of them.

Now, where'd that sandpaper go...

(reposting this from my FB)

(hanging head in humorous shame)
I'm actually contemplating getting MLP merchandise... but only of one pony... and she's apparently a minor character... so no ponies of her... but apparently there are t-shirts... I wonder if they come in my size...
*bangs head on desk*NOT a Pegasister*NOT*A*PEGASISTER!!*

Fuck. I can't even stand the shows... they make me wanna hurl, they're so sickeningly over the top in cuteness... blech.

But no... I find myself wanting to get Octavia merch. effing hell.

Okay, so feetpaws will be formed using foam... I'll use Matrice's tutorial for that... I have some in storage I can use. So, here's my dilemma:

Handpaws. Going by Matrice's tutorial on them, they'd be fine if I were using normal fake fur... thick, fluffy longer pile stuff. And using the claws I'm getting would work well.

But I'm not using normal fake fur. I'm using Minky fabric, which is extremely low pile. maybe I can use the claws on the feetpaws (she's only sending "front paw claws" not both front and back... hey, this is free, so I'm not complaining... I'm getting a set of resin claws and a nose for free from this wonderful lady... I won't complain at all).

So maybe using my gloves pattern and making just straight "human hand" gloves would be the best option for me... no claws on the hands... I think with such short fur and close gloves, it wouldn't look right.

The other thought is making big cartoony foam-padded hands... but I don't think they'd fit well with the sleeker body type I'm going for. If this was a loose suit, I could see that.

Any thoughts, watchers?

Well, I got really close in the last layer of celluclay.... but now the nose is crooked (it's actually okay, as I'm getting a nose made... but still... I'm a perfectionist), and the back of the jaw isn't quite shaped right... so I'll mix more up today... chuck the idea of using gloves (they're big and messed me up last round) and keep it back over here next to the computer so I can look at pictures as reference...

Am I boring anyone yet?

I don't want to post more pics of the form until I'm at least ready to sand it down... which will -maybe- be after this layer. I hope.

More updates to come... and eventually pics of the form.

So, I got the second layer of Celluclay on the styrofoam head. It looks less like an alien face now. More like a lioness with a short snout. I don't want a long nose on her.

Pics are up on FB and in the Fursuit forum on LJ. It's rough, needs more on the lower jaw, maybe evening out the two sides... a little more fill around the eyes... and then sanding... lots and lots of sanding. then the fosshape, which I still need to get. Then fur... and sewing the body... argh!!!!!!!

I'm not sure I'll ever understand people sometimes. Supposedly, the others who're part of the court for which I'm doing Zumai as the Cowardly Lioness don't seem to understand -why- I'm going to all this trouble for a 30 minute gig of standing on stage and judging costumes. I'm not sure if this opinion is from all the other folks involved or what... I'm a bit peeved at some of them right now, but I won't go into that here (send me a note, if you're on LJ, and I'll friend you there and you can read my note on it there from last night).

So, here are my reasons, and if anything sounds "unreasonable" someone enlighten me, please:

1. It's a fursuit. I can wear it repeatedly for other things. Yes, I may make a second "non cowardly" head later on, but it isn't just for one damn thing.

2. We're judges for a costume contest. Why the fuck would the judges be costumed "half-assed"?? We're supposedly "experts" on local fan costuming, including CRAFTSMANSHIP... so why wouldn't we put as much effort as possible into our own representations? We're supposed to be upholding a standard as the JUDGES of the contest. Of course I'm going to put as much effort as possible into my fursuit. I'm not going to go the lazy route and rent something, or make something shitty. That does NOT exude confidence in the contestants that the judges know what they're talking about. As the judges, we need to show that we know what we're talking about...

3. Yes, my standards are seemingly high... and? I'm training to do this PROFESSIONALLY. My standards better be high...

They're the ones who want to wear flouncy skirts and all that crap... I'll take the fursuit over that crap any day.

I just don't "get" people sometimes...

So, our Fem-Furs beach trip was a decent success. I had my "stop fucking with me" moments, mostly due to being in pain, but also stress (money), and all the excitement around me from the others was frazzling my empathic nerves. But I got a couple of good videos of Max being an utter doofus... in a good way. Hey, she made us all laugh.

http://youtu.be/LQR-JndSO94

http://youtu.be/jIgOvvjtjfU

* * *

On a side note, I have the first layer of cellu-clay on the head to make the mold for Zumai. base shape down... next layer will be more distinct lion face shaping... and it's totally okay if it's an utter mess. When this stuff dries, it's completely sculptable and carveable, so I'll be able to clean it up even better.

Now I just need the moula to buy the fosshape... ugh.

Finally got around to plaster-taping the styrofoam head... why, you may ask? This was the next step in my ass-backwards way of building my lioness suit head. I duck-taped the styrofoam head a week or so ago... I just did a decent layer or two of plaster tape over that, in the general area of where the head is going to be. Once that dries... eventually, I'll start with the clay and shape where the face no longer is human... if i have enough clay, I may also build up the rest of the head as well, but as I'm not using foam, measurements don't have to be exact. the material I'll be using won't be sitting against my face. The balaclava will, but the snout of the lioness will sit away from my face.

Now what I need to figure out is will I be doing a static jaw or a moving jaw. I want to do a moving jaw, but I'm not entirely sure how to hinge it. I guess I'll have to start digging through tutorials.

I think doing a moving jaw would make the suit be more animated, in a sense. I can use my mouth/jaw to react to people we're judging in the contest... as well as elsewhere.

I know some might think I'm going about this whole head building thing wrong... but this is the most logical, despite having more steps, path to building a head with Fosshape and not foam.

Real Life whining post...

Well, at least I still have my job, right? My boss appreciates the work I do, I love my job... that's all good.

So. Even those here who know me in RL likely don't realize I've had sucky teeth (and no, I don't mean vampire teeth) my whole life. I can take some of the blame myself as I'm horrid at upkeep, but not being taught and "watched" by parental units about it as well as the whole "nasty antibiotics as a baby" thing that screwed up my adult teeth... and add genetics in there (neither of my parents have good enamel/teeth), I have issues on an all-too-regular-basis.

So, a massive filling from my back bottom molar came out today. I'm pretty sure I swallowed it, as I don't remember crunching on it (the usual case when one comes out... same for tooth chunks that fall off... seriously, I'm amazed I don't pick up radio signals from space with the amount of fillings I have). Normally when this happens, it's obvious and because I've eaten something hard. I was eating CHEESE this time. Effing CHEESE.

I have a distinct impression I'm looking at a crown within the next six months for this. There really isn't much for a filling to grab on to, and I think (not sure, but will find out Monday) this was a filling done within the last year or so... which is problematic. So, a crown. Another effing crown. The molar in front of it already has one. Don't think I can afford a porcelain one like that one is... but we'll see.

So, lessee... find out my bike was stolen... low hours from work due to illness at the bosses house... and now this. Is the week over yet? Effing hell...

I WAS EATING CHEESE FOR CHRISSAKES!!!! Holy crap.

Okay... gonna go make some crockpot pasta... nice and mushy... grrrrrrrrrr.

I keep getting hints (by the person i fought tooth and claw with over the lioness costume) and questions (by others) if I'll be dressing Zumai up in clothing over the fursuit.

I hadn't planned on it, no.

Mostly, my intent is to have a bunch of necklaces, all African in vibe/motif, around her neck... mostly as a cover for the 'seam' between head and bodysuit.

One advantage to having her wear something... say a corset... is that the bodysuit can be a little more forgiving in fit. (I also wouldn't have to struggle with losing weight, which I'm failing miserably at right now). But to make a whole other outfit on top of the bodysuit... ugh.

What do folks think? Any ideas? Esp. ones that wouldn't involve boning and heavily detailed stuff?

so, I guess I've been inducted into the Portland Community. My bike was stolen sometime recently. not sure when, as I rarely used it (hand brakes... don't trust myself with them, so it rarely saw the light of day). I went down to the garage (supposedly secure) to move it last night as they're doing the annual powerwash of the garage. No bike.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

I called management and told them it was gone. Sulked a bit last night, bought chocolate, etc... this morning, I got a notice under my door that those of us with storage lockers (as I have one) should check as there's stuff not secured IN lockers and all the loose stuff will be confiscated and if not claimed, trashed after 10 days.

Now, a while back... as in about a year or two ago, I found some of MY stuff, which had been in MY locker, strewn about in the walkway between the lockers. I knew, also, that someone was leaving their crap in the walkway, but it isn't my place to do anything about it. (Yes, for the record, when i found my stuff on the walkway, I did report it to management... within a month, I noticed most of the other 7 lockers were "emptied" ... that room is one where only those with a locker can access it with your own -registered to your unit- key fob... so someone got busted).

None of my stuff was outside my locker... fine. I walked back over to the bike rack where my bike had been. I found the lock and cable. Cable had been cut. I picked it up gingerly, carried it back up to my place and put it in a ziploc bag. NOW the police report can be filed.

I called non-emergency dispatch... gave them my basic details... Someone will get back to me. I told her i found the cut cable and lock... she said the person to call me back will determine if someone should come by.

So now the wait begins...

That's Portland for you. Bikes get stolen left and right around here.... You'd lose count how many get stolen here... it's pathetic. Sadly, I never got mine registered (next one will be!!! and marked/etched), so it's a no name bike... well, it's a Schwinn... $200 Schwinn...

Now, if it's someone from inside the complex, so help that SOB if I find out. BUY YOUR OWN FUCKING BIKE, ASSHOLE!!!

Okay, got that out of my system now... on to life in general... sigh. I need more coffee.

this one with a time limit... why do I have a feeling I'll be hitting FD this weekend to get the last of my steampunk dirndl fabric? Not to mention the bodice fabric for the traditional one? That'll be black corduroy or something... need lining for both bodices as well... namely the steampunk one... don't want itchy home dec fabric backing against my skin... and no, for the record, the blouse doesn't go all the way to the waist... it just covers boobs, shoulders and upper arms.... the dirndl does the rest.

I'll also be getting the platform thingy made for the loom... I need that table space to cut fabric!!!! unless I boot the cat off the bed during the day and use the bed... I hate doing that, though. My back hates me for it... and so does the cat. :)

If I can get the bodices going on the two dirndls before doing the dress for the commission, I think I'll be okay... they all have to be done by the same time... although for different things.

I am insane... I really must be.

So, it's nice when you make friends with local vendors for things. I hit up a specialty shop today for the dirndl blouse fabric (this place doesn't have much fabric, as they specialize in other accessories), and got to chatting with the owner of the shop... something we do every time I'm in there. After my purchase, she showed me some traditional dirndl buttons... hand made... they had red. I said I'd come back and get the larger red ones after the next paycheck... she just tossed the whole lot of them (13... really only need 5) into my bag. No one buys them... they get ignored. I may go back and buy more of them after the next paycheck... someone I know called them something else and now the word escapes me... but they'll be perfect to go on the traditional dirndl I'm also making. I know it isn't furry stuff, but hey... it's still sewing.

Oh, if anyone local to the PDX area knows of a -local- place to get fosshape 300, let me know... please. I have yet to find an online shop that has a decent price on it AND decent shipping. Everyone wants to gouge you for that stuff... one way or another. Well, pardon me for not being rich. I'm trying to make the lion head not too disproportionate for my body... I find it difficult to do that with foam. But maybe someone can prove me wrong. The bodysuit will be close fitting to me, so the head shouldn't be too much bigger than my own head already is.

Okay... this kitty is tuckered out...

So, the wedding I'm supposed to officiate has been moved back a month to mid-late September. I have no issue with that weekend in particular, actually (but a bit of me was hoping I could go down and visit family around that weekend... as my mom's birthday [like it matters to her much with her ALZ, as she doesn't even know she has kids anymore] is a couple days later. But really, it is okay... I'll work on visiting around Christmas... no effing clue where i'll stay. If my sister, who visits a few times a month, gets kicked out of the house, I don't stand a chance staying IN the house for a few days).

The weekend AFTER the new date for the wedding, there's an Alpine Fest somewhere in central Oregon I wanna go to. Which means having a traditional dirndl made as well. I got some GORGEOUS red linen on sale online this morning for the skirt... to go with the red hat I want to get. The rest of the dirndl will get it's fabrics purchased as well... gradually.

Then there's Zumai. I need to have her done by the beginning of November. I need to start work on the head sooner rather than later and *every* online dealer of fosshape wants a disgusting amount of money for shipping... or cheaper shipping but outrageous prices for the actual product (I am NOT paying 24 bucks a YARD for it... cosplaysupplies can go yiff in hell for that price). So, I would like to find a local dealer that I can -pick it up from- ... so far, no luck. Sheesh.

Then there's Summer's hat. I have everything but the wire for that. I need to wire the brim, and the millinery wire I got is way too small... that ain't gonna hold shape for shit with this hat.

I know Summer will likely see this and tell me there's no hurry on the hat... but still... it's a commission... I don't want to keep putting it off indefinitely... hello, Summer.

Great... and now i have a headache... well, at least I know there are some brain cells still there... if they weren't, there would be no reason for the headache.

*thud*

Oh yeah... and I need to raise money for the Alzheimer's Walk (I can provide a link to my team page in another post), and want to make a big (LIGHTWEIGHT) penguin to carry this year. Maira the Memory Dragon was a smidge heavy last year... my arms still hate me for that.

So, I'm rambling... if anyone knows of any place local that sells fosshape affordably that I can actually go TO a storefront and purchase it (no, FD doesn't carry it... I WISH!!!), please let me know...

Gonna go tend to the headache... ow.